Chapter Text
- Final Fantasy and all its characters belong to Square Soft.
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~* Castles in the Sky *~
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Chapter One: Yesterday
The lights were so intense.
She tried to remember exactly what was happening… voices, many voices. She could feel the vehicle's motion with every breath. Why was it so hard to breathe? They were touching her, poking needles into God knows what. She could feel the pressure, but the pain did not register.
Outside, now she was outside, in the frigid night air being wheeled into a building. They seemed to be yelling in an alarming tone. Who were they? Now she came to an abrupt stop. They were still putting things on her; she just wanted them to stop.
"Female approximately twenty years in age… car accident, head trauma and internal bleeding."
That's it… she remembered portions of the accident. The truck had not seen her. The driver, was the driver all right? She opened her eyes, looking at the ceiling. It was white tile with intense lights recessed in a pattern.
She tried to speak. No words came, only the voice within her mind.
"The driver, I have to know if he's all right. I'm so exhausted. I will just close my eyes for a moment. The pain, will the pain go away?" Then she heard the alarm of the monitor sounding. "Stop touching me!" Her cries were unheard to all around. A sudden darkness overtook her…
"I will just close my eyes a second... just a second, and then I'll see what's going on."
Six Months later:
Boy, he hated these events. Working security for a bunch of affluent people, yeah, that's exactly what he'd trained all his life for. Squall Leonhart, security guard to the rich and annoying. He sat looking out of the window of the limo as the lights of Deling grew closer.
"Ballet?"
Now he was forced to go to the ballet. It was more a demand of Cid's than anything. Mrs. Maude McCay wanted to show gratitude to the three SeeDs who helped her during the inauguration of the new Galbadian president. How did she thank them? Not with a bottle of wine or even a thank you note. No, she sent them tickets to the ballet. When Squall informed Cid he already had plans, like cleaning his gunblade or counting the tiles on the floor, he was told in no uncertain terms: change them. As every good little mercenary should, he didn't argue. Sometimes when the headmaster made up his mind, it just couldn't be changed. Although, as the city got closer, he really wished he had been counting the tiles in his room.
"Ballet, why?"
"Hey buddy," Irvine rudely disturbed his inner thoughts. "Think of it this way - all the girls in tights and short skirts… all the rich young ladies there tonight. If I didn't have Selphie, this could've been a great experience for both of us. Guess I'll have to live vicariously through you."
Squall continued to stare out the window and mumbled, "Whatever" under his breath.
Lauren, the junior SeeD in the car, finally spoke up. "I can't wait! It's going to be so beautiful. Think of the all graceful movements, it's kind of like battle…it's an art."
Irvine turned to Squall, "Next time we're in battle and you start leaping across the ground ending in the splits… is the day I will shoot you myself." He was met with a stern glare from the commander. "Hey just warning you buddy. Squall, if you ever wear tights around me, I'm committing you."
With that, Squall just turned back to the window.
"Ballet, with Irvine… why?"
When they arrived at the Performing Arts Center, it was a most elegant sight, men in tuxedos, women in the finest of dress. Squall all of a sudden thought of not going in, but then decided to handle this situation as any other mission. Just one the commander hoped that he wouldn't fall asleep during. That wouldn't look good on the SeeD reputation, although the three of them had opted not to wear the official uniform. Still the dark blue suit he was wearing felt like it was shrinking every minute. The tie, he was pretty sure, was tightening like a noose around his neck.
Irvine, however, had gone for the 'formal cowboy' look with the long black leather duster and matching pants. However, Cid informed him that a cowboy hat would be inappropriate at the performance. Lauren opted for a simple black strapless dress.
The three SeeDs stepped out of the limo and were immediately escorted to the side waiting area of the queue. Mrs. McCay planned everything, even sitting in an opera box… with her as an escort.
"Great," thought Squall, "my first date in a year and it's with a seventy-five-year-old woman. Who is showing way too much cleavage."
The tight scarlet dress and matching fire engine red lipstick on the senior was drawing attention from all who passed by. Squall tried not to make eye contact with anyone. Now he was pretty sure he had made the leap from mercenary to gigolo in 4.7 seconds. Mrs. McCay held out her hand for Squall to take. He did with an expression of disgust that only his closest friends could differentiate. To everyone else he was being the perfect gentleman.
Irvine leaned over to Squall whispering, "Score! I don't think she's wearing a bra."
Squall did not acknowledge the gunman's unwanted commentary.
Waiting for this ordeal to begin was the hardest part. At last, the lights went down and the orchestra started to play. The first sequence wasn't too bad. Women danced around with elegance. Squall even had to admit the beauty of it, if only to his inner-self. As the dancers cleared, a carriage appeared from off stage. He could see a couple in the horse-driven cart.
"Obviously, the stars of our little show here," he mused to himself. "Either that or villains are traveling in style now. But who would bring live horses on stage, what brilliant person thought of that one?"
His sardonic musings were interrupted when the man got out of carriage and was definitely wearing tights. "Great... well that just made the evening a success."
The woman wore a white dress that glimmered under the stage lights. He could tell she had dark hair pulled up in a sequined barrette, but could only make out her back right now. This performance, for some unknown reason, improved tenfold. After the guy frolicked around stage for a few minutes, he went back to the carriage to retrieve the ballerina. When the dancer stepped out of the carriage, his heart skipped a beat.
"Rinoa, shit… is that Rinoa?" Irvine leaned over to Squall. The expression on the commander's face answered his question. "Damn, she looks hot… um… I mean good." The commander wished he hadn't said anything, but in all reality, Squall never heard a word. He retreated into that place where only Squall Leonhart resided.
Searching back on memories, he recalled a time when she talked about being in dance. Something her father had pushed upon her along with piano and voice lessons. The type of social thing those 'elite' children of Deling were almost required to do by some unwritten law. Rinoa said she had been pretty good, but he never imagined this good. He almost couldn't move, watching every polished motion she made.
"God, Irvine was right, she is more gorgeous than ever."
Mrs. McCay leaned over, informing Squall that was General Caraway's daughter. Squall knew; Squall knew everything except why she left.
One year and a lifetime ago…
"Squall… Squall!"
The energetic Selphie almost collided with him in the hall for what had to be the hundredth time.
"Guess what, several of the students from Trabia Garden are going to be spending a week with us! Since Rinoa is out of town, I'm already having someone use her room, but there are still about fifteen students that need to be placed. I know that you and Zell are leaving on assignment tomorrow. I was wondering if we could use your room to accommodate someone? One of my best friends will be among them. Lauren is trustworthy and won't touch any of your stuff. Can she please stay in your room please, please, please...?"
"Fine, whatever." He started to walk away, as all this happiness wasn't good for his complexion. As an afterthought he added, "Don't know how long we'll be gone. I'll call before the mission ends. Make sure whomever… or whatever…. in my room, is out by then, got it?"
"Thanks Squall you are so sweet!"
Selphie ran over, giving him an enormous hug. She knew Squall still didn't like being touched, but over the last year, he was getting better day-by-day. He reached down, patting her back as if to say, "It's all right. Now get off." Selphie quickly got the hint and ran down the hall bouncing with joyfulness. Seeing her Trabian friends again would be wonderful.
Four days later, the mission was canceled. Squall called informing Irvine that he'd be back sometime around dawn. He wanted his room back for the sole purpose of collapsing in bed. By the time he arrived home, almost twenty-four hours would have passed without sleep.
When he reached Garden, it was late, or was it really early? Well, for a fact it was dark. Undressing in his room, Squall headed immediately for a quick shower. After getting out and drying himself with a towel, he looked over in his bed and saw Rinoa lying there. Her dark hair was faultless in the moonlight. If he had been more alert, he might have been angry about the invasion of his privacy. But, he had given her a key for emergencies. In his mind, this wasn't one, but lack of sleep kept him from pursuing any negative emotion. Although he had to admit, some part of him liked returning to someone, to her. But, he would never let on.
Foolish pride has its price.
Putting on boxers, he towel-dried his hair and crawled into bed. Reaching over, he turned to the sleeping form and put his arm cautiously around her. Rinoa had only been in his room one night before, but nothing happened, he just lay next to her. Touching another human being was not a big move for anyone one else. But for him, the significance was great; opening up was something that took time. Holding her at night was the first major step he was taking. It was so late, he fell right to sleep holding her secure.
Rinoa couldn't wait to return to Garden. Spending time with her 'father' was something she was committed to doing. Trying to make peace after all the tragic events in her life, it just seemed like the responsible action. The two still had very different opinions on everything, from politics to pizza toppings, but she would try to establish a relationship. Sometimes Rinoa felt that was all she did, a balancing act between two stubborn men… two men she dearly loved.
After a few days in Deling, Caraway was called away. Anti-government rallies were threatening to endanger upcoming elections. So instead of sitting alone in the big, desolate mansion, she decided to go back early and surprise Squall. When the train arrived at Balamb it was early in the morning, she wanted to go directly to the person she missed most.
She grabbed her key card to his room 'for emergencies only' he had told her. It was against regulations to have another SeeD's card, especially one of the opposite gender. However, seeing that had been over two weeks it her mind, this was an emergency. She slid the card in and opened the door.
Rinoa couldn't believe what she saw. Squall lying in bed with his arm draped over someone else. She held her breath, taking a step closer; Rinoa could see that the woman was not wearing any clothes. From the looks of it, neither was Squall. The woman's long black hair was flowing onto the silky pillow. The sensation in her stomach made her feel sick. She could feel the bile rising to her mouth, words escaped her and thoughts betrayed her.
Squall Leonhart only kissed her a few of times, never anything like… like… this. She was aware he wanted to move slow, and with good reasoning. Positive she was giving him all the time he needed. Never pressuring, but always there when he needed her.
Or not there when he didn't.
But now, he did this with her, whoever 'her' was. The tears were beginning to cloud her vision. Rinoa shook her head, but still no words came out. Finally, she was able to whisper the words 'no...please...no'. Turning she closed the door, not only physically but symbolically on that part of her life.
It was still very early and nobody was up at Garden. Rinoa Heartilly walked out of that place swearing she would never return.
Not to Garden, not to him.
Beep, beep, beep
The alarm clock cut through the stillness of the air. Lauren uttered several profanities at the bothersome machine… It was time to get up, take a shower, and face yet another exhilarated day of countless lectures. Sleeping in the nude was a habit she had indulged in for a very long time, but as she turned to get up, she let out a chilling scream. Squall opened his eyes and froze like a deer in headlights.
"Who the Hell are you?" he demanded. The dark-haired girl sat up quickly pulling the sheets around her unclothed chest. For a moment, they just stared at each other, Lauren in shock, Squall in utter fear.
When his mind settled from disbelief he demanded, "Get out!"
Lauren looked down sheepishly at the sheets and embarrassingly replied, "Hello, you must be Squall. Um... Selphie let me use your room and I guess you came back from your mission."
Squall focused his eyes anywhere but at the exposed woman lying in his bed.
"That is Commander Squall Leonhart to you. I called, told them the mission was cut short. I thought you… were someone else, didn't mean to touch you. I'm going into the bathroom. Please get dressed and leave, as commander I'm ordering you never to mention this."
Lauren nodded in mutual understanding, recognizing how it might appear to others. Squall left, she got dressed, exiting his room and neither spoke of the incident again.
"Terrific," Squall thought, "the first time I see a naked woman in my bed I feel like throwing up. Her hair, I just thought it was Rinoa last night." He splashed water on his face glad she was several thousand kilometers away in Deling.
Rinoa didn't know where to go. She made the decision to go back to Timber, hopeful to meet up with Zone and Watts. They always had treated her like a princess and right now, she needed that more than anything. After a few days, Rinoa left a message with Quistis expressing she would be staying in Deling for a little longer, and then would be heading abroad with her cousin. After making excuses for over three weeks, Rinoa finally knew what had to be done. Taking Griever off her necklace, she placed it in a box with a simple note.
Squall,
The last year has been wonderful,
but it's time we move on.
I found someone else,
please don't try to find me.
I don't want to hear from you.
--Rinoa.
It was a lie, a painful one at that. Rinoa had not found anyone else, and knew she probably never would. No longer caring about the future, she just wanted him to think she'd moved on in the present. Lies were easier to tell than facing the truth. Rinoa felt as she wasn't good enough for him. At least in her opinion, she must have not been intelligent enough, pretty enough, or had a large enough upper body. She just didn't know why he did it, but she knew Squall Leonhart would never hurt her again.
When Squall received the ring back with the note, he could manage nothing more than to stare at it. He was at a loss of how she could hurt him so much. The commander knew he was opening up slowly, okay… very slowly. Emotions took time, she meant more to him than the heavens and the stars combined. She had to know that, even if he lacked the courage to show it. Squall wanted her to be his first, his first in every way: The first one in his heart, the first one he shared himself fully with, and the first one to look into their children's eyes. Maybe if he had been able to communicate better, to not hide behind fear, none of this would have happened.
Squall tightly grasped the ring and placed it in the box, along with the note. He put the black velvet container in his dresser, knowing he didn't want it now. Ironic, it had been with him all his life… he wasn't thrilled when Zell gave it to Rinoa in the first place. Now he detested seeing the metallic band. Swearing to himself it would never be worn again. The ring would only remind of the pain and heartache she caused. It would also forever remind him never to let anyone in again, as the anguish wasn't worth the price. He closed the drawer, sat on his bed, and in the first time in his life… he felt tears on his cheeks.
He never cried; he never had a reason, until now.
But, that was then…
The music increased until it reached its pinnacle. The entire dance company returned to stage for the final curtain call, now it was over. He watched her bow gracefully to the audience. The male dancer grabbed her slender hand, giving her a bouquet of large pink roses. They were beautiful. Squall wasn't sure if it was the roses, or the woman behind them that held the true beauty. The scene was one of the most memorable events he had ever witnessed.
Leaning over, Maude elbowed him roughly with her bony arms. She thought it very discourteous that he was not clapping, nor joining the audience in a standing ovation. Squall couldn't move at this point, he wasn't even sure if his legs worked. Let alone if he had skillfulness to applaud and stand simultaneously. Mrs. McCay might as well have told him to go dance on stage himself; the results would be the same. Squall just sat spellbound looking at Rinoa.
When everyone was leaving, Maude reached over to Squall more than persistent for a male escort. She had already set her sights on the commander. But, he was oblivious to anything the overanxious lady implied. Albeit not so subtle, the advances were left unanswered. He finally was brought back to reality when Mrs. McCay informed him of the rest of the evening's itinerary. They would be going across the boulevard to the reception that followed.
Squall was still motionless, "Would she be there? Will the other man be there?" He didn't want to go, but curiosity told him he had to find out about her…about her life. Rinoa didn't want him in it, but maybe he could bring some closure to this unbearable event. No, that wasn't ever going to be possible, but he did have to try to comprehend.
The reception hall was adorned with gold trim and accented with floral centerpieces. Irvine and Lauren had stayed steps behind the commander, allowing his personal space. The gunman could only imagine the emotions his best friend must be going through. Lauren had sensed something amiss, but just couldn't quite put her finger on it.
Selphie and Lauren had again become best friends. When a position opened at Balamb, Lauren was more than anxious to put in for a transfer. The commander approved the request, with the utmost professionalism. Lauren felt comfortable around the others, even after the whole 'Squall episode'. Now that a year had passed, she laughed about it internally. Although never telling a soul, just as Squall made her promise. She knew it was for the best, as her boyfriend may not have believed the far-fetched circumstance either.
Squall scanned the room, seeing Rinoa positioned alone in a corner. Looking just as beautiful as she did on stage, if not more. She was wearing an antique-ivory dress, brunette hair pulled up eloquently. The dress emphasized her features, making her look even more angelic. It was tight fitting around the top, falling gently off her shoulders. The beadwork could only be compared to the most exquisite of hand-sown artistry, rivaling anything worn by royalty. The dress went into her waist, and then came softly from her hips.
More than physical beauty, he noticed the aura that surrounded her. Rinoa was never the type to be standing alone in a corner… that was him. But there she stood, almost a mirror image of his former self. He didn't know how long he stared at her, time somehow seemed irrelevant. Part of him wanted to leave, run away, but a larger part wanted to stay. Subconsciously he wished for her to look at him, to smile… to be the person he remembered.
His daydreams were interrupted when Mrs. McCay blocked his view; it was a view he didn't ever care to see. Her cleavage positioned too close for comfort, and he wasn't sure… but he believed Maude had just licked her lips in a seductive motion. Either that or her dentures had just popped out, he hoped for the latter. The fear in his eyes must have been a little too noticeable, as the elderly woman backed slightly away. Which was good, as the amount of perfume she had just applied was strong enough to rival a rotting corpse.
Finally, he again had a straight view to Rinoa, but was saddened to see her slowly walking toward a portly fellow. She never ventured too far from her pillar, never more than a few paces. When she moved, the chiffon skirt flowed with her, not allowing him to catch sight of her feet. It looked as if she was floating. In her arms, she still held the bouquet of flowers presented to her after the performance.
At that moment, poor-timing Maude snatched Squall's arm, dragging him towards the one he had been studying. Irvine and Lauren followed carefully behind. Squall's heart ceased all function as they drew closer. It was in that second, he realized where they were heading. To her.
"Rinoa deary."
The young woman quickly crooked her head toward the wanton senior. She gave the annoying voice a congenial welcome, showing the smile he longed to see again - the one haunting his dreams every night.
"Maude McCay, wonderful to see you in attendance this evening. You have outdone yourself yet again… another wonderful reception. Hope you are enjoying yourself this evening."
Unknown to Squall, Maude winked at him, placing one hand on the center of his back.
"More than you know, sweetie… Oh, I want you to meet my handsome new friend and his companions."
Rinoa opened her mouth to speak, but was rudely interrupted. Out of nowhere, a middle-aged pompous man pushed Squall out of the way. "Mrs. McCay we have a predicament and need you right away… the caterer and the head maître d' are in the middle of a lover's quarrel! Hors d'oeuvres and caviar are flying through the kitchen at an appalling rate. And they served a chardonnay! It's most… inexcusable."
Maude rolled her eyes. "When will I ever learn?" Turning to Squall, she gave him a slight pat on the lower back. He never noticed, focused on a far more significant person. "Duty calls, please introduce yourselves for me. I'll be back in a jiffy honey." With that, she sauntered off with the gentleman.
"Hello, I'm Rinoa Heartilly." She looked directly at the three people standing in front of her.
"Wow," expressed Lauren in awe. "You dance magnificently, I saw you about eight months ago when you performed at the Winter Holiday Festival."
Squall couldn't believe it. She was looking right at him, and then at Irvine. She acted as if she didn't know them. They could have been anyone else in the hall; it didn't matter. "Doesn't she remember? Or is this how she is going to play? Fine, whatever, two can play this little game." Squall glared at her. If looks could kill, his would have been deadly.
"Thanks, I always loved dancing since I was a child." Rinoa's bright smile could still light up the room. Right now, it didn't make a dent in his heart; his anger shaded any light.
Looking at her with respect, Lauren continued the conversation. "I always wanted to be introduced to you. You're quite the legend where I'm from."
A lump in the throat kept Squall from speaking as the girl continued. "I transferred from Trabia to Balamb Garden about a year ago. For so many years, I wanted to meet you. But you had already left when I arrived. I personally want to thank you for helping with the time-compression matter."
With the mention of Garden, the grin on Rinoa's face dulled. "Well that was lifetimes ago... how are things..." She stopped herself, no matter how much she wanted to continue. "I'm sorry… never mind."
Abruptly a young gentleman called to her, and Rinoa turned her head towards him. A shadow of the smile she had earlier reappeared. Leaning over, he whispered something into her ear, and she reacted with a slight nod. "Oh this is Robert. He was the male lead in the performance tonight."
Walking up to the three, he offered his hand to the commander. In true form, Squall didn't return the gesture. "Well… okay then. Rin it's time to leave."
With that, he grabbed her arm, immediately escorting her toward the door. Rinoa turned back in the general direction of the group thoughtfully adding, "It was nice meeting everybody. I hope to see you again. Next time maybe we can chat longer." Then without a single word to Squall or Irvine, she left.
Still confused, Irvine was the first of the two men to speak. "Commander, you all right?" Squall continued to scrutinize Robert as he guided Rinoa out of the building.
"I'm fine." The answer short and discourteous.
"Why?" Squall asked himself. "Why would she act like that? It was just so… if that's how Rinoa wants it, so be it."
Holding on tightly to his upper arm, Rinoa walked the few steps up the stoop. "Thanks, Rob it just gets harder to hide… At every occasion all I think about is going home, getting away from everyone." She looked down to the ground, softly tapping her feet on the concrete. "You know those people were from Garden. I shouldn't care, but I just wonder how he is doing." Robert held her arm until they were safely inside Caraway's mansion.
"Look Rinoa you are my favorite cousin, but we can't keep hiding this forever. Someday people are going to find out no matter how hard you try. We've managed for six months to keep this a secret from most of Deling. The challenge gets excessively harder at every turn. Please, think about telling the truth to everyone. No one will pity you."
"No Robert, they will. They will pity me… that poor, unfortunate girl. I don't want people looking at me as someone different, but I guess it's not like I could tell if they did." She finished the comment with a diminutive giggle. "Just a little longer please."
"Fine." Was the only response Robert made. For a moment, they stood in silence, and then he handed her a cane. "Guess I don't have to turn the light on in your room."
Rinoa pleasantly smiled, elbowing him hard in the stomach. "Funny, ha ha. I know right now you're making that face at me. So stop it." Closing the door, she turned around, feeling her way upstairs into the dark abyss.
-Nope, I still do not own any of the characters of Final Fantasy.
~* Chapter Two: Sunrise *~
It just didn't seem right, as if something was missing. As Squall peered out the train window, the entire evening played over in his mind like a movie reel. A movie forever etched on film, one with no words. Her actions spoke louder than words ever could. He mentally acted out the scene, her standing, smiling, and never acknowledging him. He came to only one conclusion. No, Rinoa wouldn't have just disregarded her entire past with him.
But true to form, once a verdict was reached… it was quickly overturned.
"Would she? Of course not, we did spend over a year together, and she was the one who left me. Why would she be angry with me? Rinoa was the one who found someone else, moved on even when I could not. Was that him tonight? Maybe that's why she wouldn't acknowledge me, what a bitch," he thought. "Seifer was right about her, she is a spoiled little brat… run to another man, then back to daddy when she feels like it."
Now she had reached a social stature Squall couldn't measure up to, nor did he particular want to. "Let her have her wealth, her recognition, and her male companions… whatever." He closed his eyes in resentment, even as he was thinking the words; he couldn't accept them as true. "Why do I still feel like this?"
Irvine reached over, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. "You could always call her, ask what happened. Maybe it's not the best approach, but at least you'd know the truth. Some things just need to be spoken. Not in a note, but in person. Rinoa is still the girl we knew and helped us two years ago. Trust her."
With that final piece of friendly advice, Irvine closed his eyes. The cowboy started to fall asleep as the train gently swayed back and forth on its way back to Balamb.
"Maybe," Squall thought, "but what if I get wounded in the process? Maybe reality will hurt more than pretending I never existed."
With a thousand thoughts crossing his mind, Squall closed his eyes and joined Irvine in the peaceful slumber of the train.
The next day went on as usual, life does go on. Squall sat at his desk and filed through all the papers that lay in his 'in' box. Working was now somehow out of the question. The documents just seemed to never end. Yet, there was no way he could keep concentrating on work. He picked the pile up from his desk, and then cast it down just as hastily.
"I have to get out of here." With that, he seized his gunblade, marching directly to the training center.
Slaughtering Grats was just about as entertaining as watching the paint in the Quad dry, but at least it kept him entertained, sort of. There was a class going on in the T-Rex area. As much as Squall wanted to face something more ferocious than an overgrown weed, he just didn't want to face anybody of the human variety right now. Just as he was again getting lost in his innermost thoughts, Quistis and Selphie appeared from around the corner.
"Hey Squall," Selphie chirped in her sprightly way. "Aren't you supposed to be commanding or something, or is today a national holiday I wasn't aware of?"
The look Squall returned pretty much answered her question.
"Selphie, I want to be alone now, please."
He nodded at the two girls as if to discharge himself, turned away, and walked deeper into the training center.
"Selph, I'm worried about him," Quistis softly spoke with a concerned, motherly tone. "Lauren and Irvine filled me in on what happened last night. Rinoa just seemed too compassionate to ignore him. Then again, she seemed too sweet to abandon him… especially for another man."
The commander disappeared from view, leaving the girls completely alone. "Selphie… you're still good with computers, right?"
The younger girl nodded.
"Let's go see what we can find out about Rinoa for the last year. If she is performing, there should be some information about her in the press archives. It's a start."
Selphie beamed as the two walked off to Quistis' room, eager to see what they could collect on their former comrade.
Zell sprawled out in Irvine's fluffy reclining chair, as the cowboy recalled the events of last evening.
"Really, she just ignored you guys? Not even a hello?"
Irvine tried to explain again, "She said hello and talked to us. Well, only to Lauren, but Rinoa looked right at us, acting as if she didn't know who we were from a hole in the wall. I told Squall to call her today, but we have a better chance getting a Ruby Dragon to be your new roommate."
Zell thought for a moment. "Maybe she really didn't recognize you guys, maybe somehow she lost all the memories dealing with time compression."
Irvine shook his head again. "No, she mentioned Garden, seemed genuinely emotional about this place. Rin just didn't speak to either of us directly."
Looking at the phone on his desk, Irvine decided on a direct course of action.
"You know what, Zell? I'm going to call her. I know Squall. He'll never do it. Let's just see if we can figure out what's going on in that pretty little head of Rin's."
Irvine reached for the phone, "Hello, operator?"
Rinoa sat on her bed, she was exhausted. Why did she not ask the female SeeD last night about Garden, about Squall?
"Because if he realized you couldn't see, he would just feel nothing but pity for you Rinoa. That's the last thing that I'll ever let happen. That man will never know how much he hurt me. He'll also never know how much I miss him."
The phone rang, wiping away her momentary weakness. Rinoa felt on her nightstand, finally finding the ringing phone. She picked up the receiver, but still was lost within her thoughts and managed to drop the handset onto the floor.
"Crap," she mumbled. Getting down from the bed, she rummaged around for the fallen phone.
"Hello, Rinoa is that you?"
"Um yeah...who is this?"
"It's Irvine."
Rinoa's head started to spin, as the worst thoughts plagued her mind.
"Oh my god is every thing all right, is Squall hurt?" It was her first reaction. But she would be damned to let Irvine hear her concern. So, she forged a smile, speaking in the sweetest voice she possibly could.
"Wow Irvine! How are you doing? It's been like a year. So how's life at the Garden treating you these days? How's Selphie? You guys still together?"
"Been a year, what is she talking about? It was last night. Okay, this is getting eerie." Irvine decided to play along with the charade.
"Garden's doing well. Selphie and I are as content as ever. Um... speaking of which, her and I were going to be in Deling next week, thought we could get together for lunch."
"Oh Irvine, wish I could. I'll be out of town all next week. Boy, I really wish I could see you two. Unfortunately responsibility calls, work requires me... us... Robert and I, to be out of town next week."
Great now she was lying to one of her best friends. Not only about being out of town next week, but also pretending that Robert was someone else beside her cousin – Ick!
"What am I getting myself into?"
"Oh, that's too bad. What line of employment are you in these days?"
"Think… think what kind of work…out of town?" Just then, in the background she heard the television infomercial. "I'm in sales... food processors. Yeah, they are fantastic! They process all varieties of… of food."
"Oh, I'm going to hell for this." She smacked her forehead with her empty hand, all the time shaking with emotion.
"Food processors, um... yeah… that's nice. Didn't even know you could cook." Irvine didn't swallow this for one minute, but wanted her to keep talking. Maybe she would accidentally give out something informative.
Rinoa held palm to her head; her lies were getting deeper. "Well with the Pross-O-Matic 9000 even I can cook. It slices, it dices, and even makes rose radishes for those very special occasions." She was trying to listen to the television word for word. "If you're interested it's only four easy installments of $19.95."
"Well Rin, let me contemplate that one for a bit."
Zell was desperately trying to snatch the phone away from Irvine. From his end, this conversation was strangest thing he'd heard come out of Irvine's mouth in a long time... and that was saying a lot.
"Well yeah, I better go now. Say 'hi' to everyone for me. Tell them I 'miss em' and wish them well in life. Bye." On that note, she hung up the phone. Still on the floor, she curled up and started crying.
"Why did it all turn out like this?"
Irvine was just as confused as ever. "That was the weirdest conversation I've ever had with the opposite sex. But, on the optimistic side, think I may end up with a new food processor out of it."
Zell just sat on the over-sized chair and gave Irvine one of his joking smiles. "Food processor... the kind that makes those pretty roses?"
"We need to go talk to the girls, something's not right here. I know it's not any of our business, but I still think those two people need each other more than we could possibly understand." They looked at each other in agreement, leaving directly for Quistis' room.
The four 'investigators' sat in the instructor's dorm, determined to figure out the mystery that lay before them.
"…And that was pretty much our whole conversation," Irvine explained. "It was very… odd."
Quistis nodded in agreement. She and Selphie had been working on the computer all afternoon, looking for old news-clippings.
"What we've found out so far is that about ten months ago Rinoa joined the ballet company. There are several pictures of her around that time. She looks reasonably content, given the circumstances. A few interviews with her, nothing that stands as out of the ordinary."
"Wait!" Selphie cried from behind the large computer monitor. "Come here. I found an article that's about six months old, and it mentions an accident. The names of the injured were being withheld, but sources close to the hospital said it was the daughter of a high-ranking bureaucrat! Then the next article about Rinoa is approximately three months after that. It's like she wasn't doing anything during that period."
"She was hurt," Zell spoke up. "She was hurt and couldn't perform. Look, this article about the ballet refers to the current lead as the 'understudy' during those months. Rinoa couldn't dance for a couple of months. Here is a first picture of her after the accident. She still looks good, but something doesn't seem… well like Rinoa."
"So whatever this was, caused her to pay no attention to us last night. Yet, she remembered me on the phone, very polite, congenial, and almost pleased to hear from me. Not the type to have just ignored me the night before."
Quistis looked like she was hit with a ton of bricks. "Irvine you said that Lauren was the only one to actually speak to her, right? You and Squall were never introduced, you two never spoke. What if she didn't talk to you because, she didn't know it was you."
"Quisty, she looked right at Squall, she looked right at me. How could she have not known... unless she didn't 'see' us?"
The silence was deafening, in that moment they figured out the missing piece of the puzzle. The only logical answer.
Irvine stated the obvious. "Damn, that guy that was helping her… that man walked Rinoa through the crowd so she wouldn't run into anyone. She didn't see us."
Quistis and Selphie could barely contain their emotion. The men, in their own ways, tried to contain theirs.
Zell spoke up, "I don't think we should tell Squall any of this until we find out for sure. The last thing we need to be doing is upsetting him further, or spreading false rumors. We're going to Deling tomorrow."
Squall lay in his bed looking intently at the ceiling, over thinking can sometimes get one into trouble. He just had to know about Rinoa's life, he needed to know. As much as he tried to detest her, he couldn't. In fact, it was just the opposite.
"Why didn't I ever go after her?" The thoughts echoed the feelings of his heart. Somehow, everything came back to him… he was always at fault. Always. No matter what happened in his life, he ruined it. However, nothing hurt as much as losing her… nothing. Just then, a pounding on the door woke him out of his daydream… more like the nightmare that his life had become.
"Squall, it's just Irvine. Headmaster Cid gave the five us a mission for tomorrow. We'll be heading out at the crack of dawn. You don't have to get up. Just let me know if you're still breathing in there."
"Whatever." The only reply to his annoying friend. At least this might keep my mind focused on work for a while.
The others had stayed up most of the night working on strategy. First, they needed to verify their suspicions. Next, they had to figure out how to inform Squall. If it were true, maybe it would be more convincing if they showed him.
Shortly after arriving in Deling City, Zell and Quistis decided on heading to Caraway's mansion. After hours of planning the preceding evening, they finally decided on the simple, straightforward approach. Quistis rang the doorbell, after a few moments an elderly maid answered the door.
"Is Rin here?" The plan, albeit a straightforward one, called for them to use her nickname. They figured it might keep the hired help from asking questions. And as according to Zell's idea, it did. The maid asked them to wait there, shutting the door hastily in their faces. About three minutes later, the door unfastened slowly.
"Rinoa!" Quistis ran up and hugged the girl before she had a chance to close the door. Zell and Quistis exchanged looks. Before she continued, "Zell, Selphie, and I just wanted to see you. We miss you so much."
Rinoa stood embracing Quistis, as if she was long lost family. In a way, she was. "I miss you all too, but I got to go. Quisty, I have the flu and couldn't bear for you to catch it. It's really nice to see the three of you again."
Rinoa let go of the affectionate embrace, turning toward her residence. The door almost slammed in the SeeD's face.
"Odd," explained Zell "Isn't it impressive to see Selphie when she's eating breakfast three blocks away."
"I know Zell, I know."
"Irvy, can you please pass the salt?"
"Anything for you darling. Want anything else while I'm at it… coffee, tea, or me?"
Selphie rolled her eyes at the gunman's comments. "Well now that's imaginative, but no thanks I'm fine."
Just then, Selphie heard the chimes on the restaurant door sound. Quistis and Zell came walking in the small Deling Cafe. Zell simply nodded to her.
It was understood… it was true.
"Who's going to tell Squall?" The one simple, unspoken question on all their minds.
Sitting down quietly, Quistis started looking at the menu. She glanced up, making direct eye contact with the others. Each trying to hide the nervousness they felt. Squall noticed the expressions the four were exchanging. Moreover, the group that would never shut up now mysteriously ran out of words.
"Why did you guys bring me here? There is no mission. Part of being commander is always educating oneself on the party who hired us. Guess what, no one did. I just wanted to know what you people were up to. Why back to Deling? Why back here?"
The instructor inhaled, slowly Quistis released air. "Here it goes, now or never," she mentally prepared herself before answering. "Squall, you're like a brother to me." She bit her lip before continuing, not exactly sure how to say this. "Um… after Selphie and I heard the events of the other evening, it just didn't make any sense to either of us. So, we had to know the truth. It wasn't like Rinoa to just ignore you."
All were quiet. The background noise of other patrons talking and clinking silverware was the only thing they could hear. The anger in Squall's eyes was evident. They had no right to interfere with his life, and the resentment showed. Quistis tried desperately to explain before the commander walked out, and hell knew he would.
"We found clippings in the newspaper. Squall, Rinoa was in a severe car accident about six months ago. Please, you just need to go speak to her yourself."
With the idea of 'his Rinoa' being in some kind of agony, he jumped out of the chair. 'His Rinoa,' as if she was some kind of possession to be owned.
"When had I ever considered her a possession?"
She was always more than that, not an item, but someone who brought enjoyment to his monotonous life. "Damn it, this is not going to happen again."
Before anyone could say another word, Squall Leonhart was out the door.
Quickly Squall raced down the industrious streets of Deling. It was almost 9:00am and the city was in full swing. Merchants were selling goods on the corners, executives walked with briefcases in hand, and children played outside the schoolyard.
But he saw none of this. To him there was only thing he wanted to see.
Caraway's mansion was quickly approaching. He didn't even remember the journey from the cafe to the manor; now he just stood at the door.
"I have to know."
Squall sounded the doorbell. A thousand fragments of memories ran through his mind. What would she think about him being there? Would she welcome him warmly, would she even speak to him after all this?
A younger servant answered the door this time, smiling and friendly. He couldn't let Rinoa know who it was; she would never agree to see him. Squall would have to act as if he were there on official business.
"I have a telegram for General Caraway's daughter Rinoa... Caraway."
The maid smiled at the striking man before her, "Well right house, wrong last name but close enough, hold on."
Squall wanted to make it look as if he had never met her. A messenger may not know the difference; the wrong last name would help demonstrate it, right? Now he didn't even know what he was doing or saying anymore. All form of intelligence seemed to be ebbing away from him. He had felt this way before…confused, frustrated, and unsure.
Anytime he ever looked at her, and the smile that still haunted him.
Minutes later Rinoa opened the door, standing there like an angel. Her hair back in a ponytail, blue jeans, white tee shirt, and barefoot. He had never noticed her tiny feet before. They seemed so flawless, diminutive, and perfect. Yet, he could see the stress dancing had placed upon them. But it didn't matter… they were still perfect in his eyes. She looked so different than last time, when he saw her at the reception. Rinoa looked like when she was his girlfriend… no he corrected himself… just like when she lived at Garden.
"I'm General Caraway's daughter, I was told you had a telegram for me."
Squall looked at Rinoa, who was still smiling. After a few moments of awkward silence, her smile began to fade. She still tried to remain pleasant, as was her nature. "Do you have a telegram for me or not, sir?"
Squall realized then what was wrong. The accident, the way she looked at him. Or actually, didn't look at him.
"Oh God Rinoa, you can't see me, can you?"
Squall observed her face go from slightly aggravated to complete shock. He knew her too well, she was going to turn and run. Squall had to stop her; he reached out and grabbed the arm of the only person he ever loved.
Loved?
"I'm not letting you disappear again," his mind called, although he couldn't form any spoken words. His heart raced. So many things he wanted to say, wanted to hear, but his voice escaped him.
He needed answers.
"Squall…" The only thing she could articulate.
Tears were freely coming to her eyes, without restraint. When he first touched her, Rinoa felt emotions that hadn't been felt in over a year. She had to stop these feelings at all costs.
"Get the hell away from me," she gasped between tears. Squall just stood holding her arm. The more she tried to struggle with him, the harder his grip became. He could feel her nightmare, her pain. He wanted to reach over and hold her, never letting go.
Abruptly, a younger man opened the door and clutched Squall's chest.
"Robert," Rinoa cried. "Please don't hurt him!"
Her cousin, and now only friend, lunged for Squall's neck. Robert didn't know what kind of business this man at the door could have with Rinoa; he was frightened for his cousin. Rob managed to grab her by the shirt, pushing her inside, safeguarding her from the lunatic.
"Get the hell away from here before I call the police, sicko."
With that, the door was slammed in Squall's his face. He just stood there before repeating, "You can't see me, can you?"
Amazingly nothing has happened since the last chapter, I still do not own Final Fantasy or the characters.
~* Chapter Three: Daybreak *~
Squall stood with his eyes transfixed on the elaborate front door, as gradually he gathered enough strength to turn around. Not self-confident of his own abilities to rationalize.
"Rinoa is blind? Does that give explanation to her leaving?"
No, his friends mentioned the collision was six months ago, she left him over a year ago. He had to get back to them; right now, he needed their help to figure it out. No, he confessed to himself, "I have to get back to them because I can't do this on my own right now. I need them."
He quickly headed back toward the small café, again not sure of how he returned. Only knowing he was there. The journey itself seemed as elusive as the truth he sought. Opening the door, he noticed the four SeeDs were finishing their home-style breakfast. A simple luxury compared to the cafeteria food.
Zell was the first to notice his return. Unfortunately, he was stuffing his face full of pancakes, and only mumbled syllables came out.
"Kall… ear."
"What?" Irvine asked.
"Ewwwww that's disgusting, close your mouth!" Selphie was more than willing to point out that small fact.
Sighing angrily, Zell motioned over to the door with the tip of his fork, carelessly flipping a piece of sausage across the room. The group ignored the subsequent scream from the booth behind them, as all eyes were focused on Squall.
"Oh, I get it… Squall's here!" Selphie happily interpreted for the rest of the group, who were now obvious to that fact.
Nobody wanted to be the first to talk, Squall finally broke the awkward silence. "I want to stay in the city tonight. Does anybody else need a room?" It wasn't an order, but they understood the unspoken request. All four nodded, he needed them right now, and they knew it. Squall was the commander, they would follow him into battle. But, most importantly, he was their friend.
As their leader turned and walked out of the restaurant, they could see the uncertainty in his steps. He was a warrior… he never got upset. Did he? The four were more determined then ever to see this through… and to the ending that their friend deserved.
"Great," groaned Zell. "Now I have to pay for my own breakfast. Next time let's tell him after he pays the check." With that, the others turned around and in unison threw their napkins at the martial artist's face. "What? What did I say?"
They walked toward the hotel, and only the sound of heels clicking against pavement was heard amongst the group. Irvine noticed the footsteps of the beloved, hyperactive fighter scampering from behind.
"Hey cowboy, you said she was a dancer right? How did she handle that being blind?"
Irvine thought for a moment, trying to recall back to the performance. Rinoa was either sitting in the carriage or dancing with her partner, never out of arm's reach. The same man who'd been at the reception, was never more than a stone's throw away.
"When I was at Galbadia Garden, we did the same training maneuvers every morning. It was repetition. An exercise all cadets knew by heart. For almost five years… I did it, every morning, every afternoon, and every night. I could do that routine with my eyes closed, and still not fall out of step. If Rinoa had been in ballet for years, she would know by repetition. If she would happen to be a movement off, her partner would be there to correct her. She really didn't have to see, just feel."
Zell understood exactly what Irvine was saying. He had known his Karate kata by mere repetition, until the actions became part of him.
Looking over at the large structure to his right the fighter had an inspiration; it was the performing art center. "Rinoa would have to rehearse at one point. Could Squall get in and talk to her?" his mind wondered, "Of course, he was a SeeD and something as effortless as getting into a building unnoticed wouldn't be that taxing."
Zell knew that for the present, Squall was a man rather than a SeeD. A man who was determined on finding out the truth… the truth of the one person who shattered his heart. Getting in was going to be less challenging than killing a level two bug bite… with no wings attached… almost dead. With that theory in mind, he hurried to the building, checking with the security guard.
After a short lived conversation, Zell returned. Catching up with Irvine and the gang, he eagerly told them, "She'll be done with practice at 5:30 this evening. The guard was more then willing to help. Dude remembered us from the 'Ulti' thing, assumes we are still friends with Rinoa. Well, we are. Er… don't want to make sound like we're not. But he doesn't know that's been over a year. Told us to come back about a quarter after, and he'll let us in."
Shaking his head, Irvine greatly admired the vigorous boy. "Zell Dincht, I've never known anybody to come up with the simplest, most straight-forward plans… continuously having them work out. Really, it's creepy. Next time we face someone like Ultimecia, we're letting you do the preparations. You have a keen knack for the obvious." Zell knew that this was a flattering remark coming from Irvine, and he acknowledged it as such.
The next few hours passed, with little new developments. After checking into the hotel, each spent a few hours alone. A time to think, a time to reflect on what they knew, but more notably, what they didn't know. The fact she was blind wasn't the issue, it was what could have possibly happened to their friend. Not only for her to hide this secret from others, but from those she was closest too. Not one of them took pity upon her; they knew her too well. But no matter how hard each tried, they only felt compassion from the loneliness she created. A world that was foreign to her, the very same world she had rescued Squall from its lethal grip.
The five had decided on different courses of action for the remainder of the day. Quistis and Selphie agreed to start at the most logical place, the beginning. Back to the place where the nightmare began, the hospital. There the two could search for medical reports, see if they could find something just 'lying' around. Or rather, could find 'stored away in a computer with a-not-so-high-tech security system'.
Zell was going to the library and see what he could discover. He knew libraries well, as dating a librarian had its privileges… like the ability to master the microfiche machine. Following the visit, he planned to do some investigation at the regional papers. Both the ones that reported the news and ones with slightly less scruples. As Quistis would say, "There's a grain of truth in every lie, and in every truth there is a grain of regret."
Fitting in with the natives was easiest for Irvine. He had been raised here, and knew the city well… even those places not listed with the 'Better Business Bureau.' His job was simply to hit the streets getting the latest scoop from locals. It was always shocking how many townsfolk would be willing to gossip, most thrived in it. Especially on someone as renowned as the cherished general's daughter.
The commander's first thought was returning immediately to the dance centre, he needed to see her. Yet, he knew Rinoa needed to absorb their previous encounter. Then he had an idea. Okay, the idea was unpleasant… really, really unpleasant. Somewhat a cross between having a root canal and watching Irvine attempt to do the tango.
Squall Leonhart would do the unthinkable. He would stop by the townhouse of Maude McCay, the woman who gave 'hot pants' a bad name. But, she was in upper society, hopefully familiar with all the latest gossip.
"Rinoa I hope you know how much I'd go through for you. First space, now 'Mrs. McCleavage' but, you're worth it."
When he spoke, it wasn't to anyone particular, more to the shadows in the air. Maybe it was a promise; a promise to himself. In his own way, he reaffirmed what he would do for her… and to learn the truth. With that inspiration, he gathered what courage he could, and took one last look into the mirror, watching the reflection stare back. "You're a fool," he whispered. Mockingly, the same words echoed by Quistis so many years ago. This time he wasn't talking to the air, but to his heart. After one last look around, he left his room, heading into the merciless city.
Arriving at the townhouse, Squall was welcomed with open arms, literally.
Mrs. McCay was more than delighted to see the muscle-bound man. This was now the hardest undertaking he had ever done, the ballet now appeared like a cakewalk. Taking the deepest breath known to man, he put his arms delicately around her. "I was just in the neighborhood and had so much joy and merriment the other night. I had to stop by." He cursed himself inwardly, he was now saying words like 'merriment', when would it stop?
"Well my favorite young lad. I'm glad you did, please call me Maude." He found that she had still not released him from the hug. This was not going well. Finally, she broke the death grip asking, "Do you enjoy cats?"
"Cats?" his mind screamed. Squall stood there with the largest smile he could drum up. With a joyful voice he mused, "Maude, who doesn't adore cats!" He was moderately certain he was going to be ill at any minute.
"Great, here hold Leechy and Cherry-Nut. They just worship men, but then again, don't we all?"
Suddenly she thrust the still forcefully smiling Squall two fluffy Persian cats. "Do you want a drink? Never mind, I'm just going to get one for you, sugar-cakes." She winked at Squall, and then gave the two cats a slight tickle under the belly. "Sweetie, keep an eye on Cherry-Nut for me, she's been spitting up the nastiest hairballs all morning. Poor little baby." The older lady left the living room droning the melody of 'Mrs. Robinson'.
"Drink," Squall mused, "it better be alcoholic, strong, and a double."
He could feel the large cat start to choke. "Eew" Just then, the feline stood, discharging a monstrous hairball. Cat hackings ran down the commander's black denims. Hair along with a few other articles he couldn't identify, and for that, he was thankful. Squall glared at the cat and used the most malevolent voice possible, "I hope Angelo enjoys the flavor of Persian food." With that threat voiced, the two cats jolted off his lap, quickly Squall tried to clean up the mess with a lace doily. Not one of his most commanderish moments, but one he was sure hours of therapy would be needed for.
"Here 'sugar chunks' take your drink. Now what leads you to my humble abode again?"
Grinning just as much as physically possible, Squall stood up walking closer to her.
"Well Maude, I just wanted the pleasure of your company." Squall looked down at the couch to Mrs. McCay, observing she had unfastened her top button. Now he was convinced he was going to be ill and therapy was now mandatory. He hurriedly sat down next to her, trying to avoid eye contact with any part or parts of her body. "Also my friend Irvine, from the other night, was truly engrossed with that performance. He was interested in Caraway's daughter, thinks she was… pretty special."
He caught the falter in his own voice, and paused trying to regain his act. "Since I was in town, thought I find out some information for him. He's just been lonely, someone like her would…" Again, he realized he wasn't speaking of 'hypothetical Irvine', but of himself. Maude looked slightly concerned as his thoughts started wandering. Noticing her disquiet he added, "I, myself, prefer a mature woman." Maude's smile promptly returned, as she put her arm around his shoulder. "Yep," he thought, "I'm going to hell for this. Damn you Rinoa, look what I'm doing!"
"Well sure thing, 'stud-man.' Her name is Rinoa. She's something of an army brat, spoiled. Ran off when the Galbadian government started heating up a couple years back. Worked in opposition to her poor father. Wanted him to free that insignificant village, Timber, yeah that blue-collar place. Not that anyone of our importance would reside there, but somebody has to be poor, I guess. Anyway, she returned some kind of hero. She'd been living abroad with her friends, and then about a year ago she moved back here, had her own apartment in the upper village."
"Now," he thought, "we're getting somewhere… except for that spoiled, army brat statement." But, he couldn't let that upset him, not when he had a mission this important. She was that important.
Moving her arm away from him, Maude set her drink down. Both were silent as she stirred the cocktail with the tiny straw. He wasn't sure what the problem was, but wanted her to continue. Finally, she leaned back onto the sofa again.
"I heard a rumor she ran off with some guy and was in a car accident." The words stung as he heard about the other man. Something inside him wanted to snap, but he used all his training to return his focus.
Leaning closer to Maude, Squall slowly, very slowly, put his arm around her. "Avoid the shirt! Don't accidentally look Squall. You will never be the same!" He kept lecturing himself.
"Oh that's horrible," managed Squall. He could feel bony fingers reaching down to his knee. "Oh that's horrible!" he screamed internally.
"Yes, yes, it was horrible." Maude's hand slowly crept up his leg, moving up his thigh. "The car accident was... gee it has to be half a year ago. Administration tried to conceal it, as much as possible. Well, at least General Caraway did. I guess with his wife passing in a crash, and then almost losing his daughter. It just didn't look good before the free elections. Rinoa's name was kept out of the paper, but some of us still knew about it. Everybody's assuming alcohol was involved, you know those spoiled types, but nobody knows for sure. Only know she was speeding, and a semi ran a road sign. Nobody even believed she would make it throughout the night."
Squall couldn't even articulate at the moment. He could only picture Rinoa lying in a hospital bed somewhere, sometime, grasping onto life. "Did she ever wonder about me? Did she want somebody ever to try to call me? If she had died, would Caraway even gone through the trouble to call, or would I read it in the newspaper like everyone else?"
Instinct took over logic, and without being aware, he brushed Maude's fingers forcefully away from his body. Lost within a flood of emotion and doubt, he looked down at his own hands. He remembered when she was there, when she held them for him.
When he needed her.
Recovery after time compression was long, she was there each day holding his hand. Even if he didn't want her to be. Squall pulled himself together enough to speak. "Was her boyfriend with her during this? Was Robert there holding her hand?"
"Boyfriend?" Maude looked over to Squall who now seemed lost in his despair. She grabbed her martini from the table, meticulously eating the olive off the toothpick. "No… no not as long as I've known Caraway's daughter, never had a significant boyfriend in Deling. But word is she hooked up with a lot of male suitors… if you know what I mean."
Remaining silent, she got the hint to continue. "After the last Sorceress War, Rinoa was seeing someone, rumored it was serious. In fact, I think it was alleged he was high-ranking at a Garden. I'm surprised you hadn't heard of the little debutant before now. God knows everyone here knows about her. But when she returned to daddy, no boyfriend. Actually, she never talked about Garden again - her or Caraway. It's proper etiquette not to discuss such issues in their attendance. My friend and I have our own speculations though, but I'll save those for another day. Right 'honey-buns,' there will be another day?"
"Sure," he garbled. "Of course, Maude, there is always another day."
She reached down to his hand, one he still wore gloves over. "No, I don't believe anyone was there to hold her hand. Caraway did spend a trivial amount of time at the hospital. However, with the elections around the corner, he was an occupied man. You… you asked about a Robert?"
Maude halted briefly, edging closer to Squall. "Oh of course, darling! Robert Caraway the General's nephew, he's Rinoa's cousin! Actually, spent a lot of time in Deling after Julia passed away. He's considered more like a brother than cousin to the Caraway family. Now Robert lives with her, somewhat curious though. He moved back after the accident, started hanging around her more. They don't go anywhere without each other, trust me, the rumor-mill is flying. I think he was away when the accident happened, took him a couple of months to move back here. After being released from the hospital, Rinoa moved back with daddy. So did Robert."
"Robert is her cousin? But if she moved back here without a boyfriend, what does that mean? Did she really not want our relationship? The note said she found someone else. Why would she lie about that? Unless it really was me, she left, because of me..."
As Squall was deep in his own mind, Mrs. McCay started to lean over and whisper in his ear. When the senior-seductress started to speak, as if a sign from a higher authority, his pager went off.
"Oh no Maude… It's a code '4:19 Alpha Silver!' I have to leave, report back to the Garden on the double. Why did our quality time have to end so soon? I'm so sorry." He swiftly leaped from the davenport, heading for the door.
"Oh no Mr. Gunblader, you don't get off that easy. You need to know what you're missing." With all the vigor of a teenager, the older woman grabbed him by the waist and kissed him square on the lips. He was trying not to heave or knock her to her skinny butt, but wanted the leech off more than anyone could possibly imagine. Squall's hands were, at long last, capable of prying the piranha away.
As he closed the door, his first thought was 'disinfectant'. Now there were two events in his life he vowed never to tell anyone about. Again, his pager went off for a second time. "I'm glad I set the alarm to go off at lunch. Hope she didn't figure out it wasn't a real page. Also hope she didn't know that '4-19 Alpha Silver' was touch-up paint for my gunblade."
Rinoa was sitting in the living room. The area never had a cozy feel, always one of annoyance. Truthfully, no room ever felt right at that place… except hers. Thoughts ran back to her mother holding her, reading stories to her every night. Always about 'true love,' and other thing she had learned over time to lose faith in. Now the darkness only echoed the aura of the room, and the dreams lost within the walls.
She listened as footsteps approached. The young girl could tell who was walking in, just by the sound of their steps. It was identification to her, just as distinctive as voices or facial recognition. She could sense a distinct herbal aroma filling the air.
"You brought me tea? Thank you." Reaching out her hands, he carefully placed the saucer within her grasp. Kneeling down, Robert looked her in the eyes, it was something done out of respect. To him, she could see, could see everything around them.
Even better than he could.
"Feel like going to practice this afternoon?"
Sipping her tea, she just looked out into the distant horizon. He walked over to the couch, grabbing an afghan off the back. Affectionately sheltering his upset cousin with a blanket, he then sat down in a nearby chair.
"Yeah, I do. It will help me forget."
"Rin, I'm going to tell you something whether you like it or not, because I love you. I remembered that man from outside. You have his picture on the wall in your room. You were also talking with him at the reception, the other night after the performance. He knows Rin, talk to him."
"I…" The words sank in. "What do you mean 'I talked' to him the other night? I didn't talk to anyone I wasn't familiar with." Then she remembered Lauren, as the realization hit her, her eyes couldn't dam the tears beginning to form. "Except for the girl from Balamb Garden… and her two acquaintances, who never spoke. I was looking directly in his eyes, wasn't I? What the hell was Squall doing at a ballet?"
Shaking she set her cup on the table. Rinoa found herself placing her legs up to her chest. Finally, her body collapsed against her own will. She rested her head on her knees, thinking of everything that had gone wrong. Everything he did… and she cried.
"Yes, you were looking right at him, smiling and talking. Rinoa you stared at your ex-boyfriend and didn't even acknowledge him. That's how he realized, because you didn't react."
"But… but… I was a meter away from him and he didn't speak to me? Of course not, I left him the note. I 'theoretically' broke up with him. Without rhyme or reason, I left him."
Rinoa's mind was racing, she couldn't keep the words from being spoken aloud. "Squall never knew I came back to Garden that morning. He never knew I witnessed his... Why did he change aftershave? I always know when anyone with that scent is near me. He watched me dance? I… I never knew. Rob, what did the other SeeD look like, not the female I spoke to, the other individual?"
"Rin, slow down, I don't understand everything you're talking about. Going back to the Garden, or about this Squall guy. But, I can answer the other question. He was a male, tall, long blondish hair, a genuine cowboy sort of chap."
"Irvine," she softly believed. "Yesterday he called me out of the blue. Robert, I stared directly at him as well. Squall wouldn't call me so Irvine did. Irvine knew I was lying. Even went far as to say I was currently working in sales… food processors."
Robert smirked, "Cool, the brand that makes those clever rose radishes. Can I purchase one at cost?" Immediately, he was hit square in the face with a throw pillow. "Rin, your aim is still perfect." For the first time all day, she was able to laugh.
Step by step, Squall walked back to the hotel, trying to process all the information he received. This specific region of town was retail, with specialty shops on either side. Looking across the lane, he saw a small, inviting bookstore. Watching the flow of traffic, he cautiously crossed the busy street.
When the door opened, he noticed the store was defiantly larger than it appeared from outside. Huge bookshelves with ladders extended as far as one could see. A middle-aged lady behind the counter smiled, asking if he needed any assistance.
"Do you have any books on the blind or helping someone cope with being blind, maybe one on how to read Braille?" The lady nodded, and then escorted him down a back passageway.
Reaching his hotel room, Squall opened the first book he grabbed out of the huge sack. How was anyone supposed to interpret these random bumps? Closing his eyes, he carefully moved the tips of his fingers along the pages. The sensation of the contact momentarily sent chills down his spine. The paper felt awkward to him, and all the raised marks felt the same. It was just a book without any words, without meaning. Sighing he gave up, once again opening his eyes to the manuscript.
Going to the alphabetical index sheet, he started looking at the distinctive letters. The more he looked at them, the more he could tell the difference with the naked eye. Sitting down at the hotel desk, he reached for a piece of paper and started making dots. At first, he was writing random letters, but before he was aware, his subconscious mind had spelled Rinoa and Squall. There on the paper were their names, just as an infatuated adolescent would write on a notebook. Nobody could tell; it looked more like a connect-the-dots than a tangible language. Squall looked once more at the alphabet page. Then again, shut his eyes and struggled to make out the texture of the letters.
He couldn't, not even one.
Shutting the hardback book, he tossed it to the desk with disgust. Warriors were made to fight with their hands, not to read with them. He took one glove from his pocket, carefully trying to memorize the feel. Sure, he had worn them all his life, but had he truly every thought about the barrier? Bringing one hand to his face, he felt at every scar, every flaw. Years of battles had left their marks. Now how was something so deadly supposed to understand the most basic of feel?