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[Several members of the Ottawa Centaurs stand in a private area of the YOW airport. Each team member holds a bag in their hand with wide smiles except for Shane Hollander who looks like he would rather be anywhere else with slumped shoulders and his mouth set into a grim line. They begin to exchange bags, Zane Boodram hands his to Ilya. Ilya passes his to Troy Barrett. Troy Barrett hands Wyatt Hayes his bag, and Wyatt hands his off to Luca. Luca somewhat sheepishly gives Nick Chouinard his bag, and Nick forwards his own on to Evan Dykstra. Evan's smile grows as he hands Shane his bag, and Shane finally is able to hand Zane Boodram the bag he's been holding.]
Zane: [Waving the bag up by his face] Be honest, did Roz pick this out?
Ilya: [He shakes his head, and proudly pats Shane on the back.] Nope. It was all Shane.
Zane: Can't wait to see what everyone came up with.
Shane: I definitely can.
[The video cuts to standing outside a men's restroom. Wyatt Hayes is the first to emerge from the bathroom wearing a hot pink shirt with the image of a Lisa Frank style dolphin jumping from the ocean with clouds and a rainbow behind it. Surrounding the photo are the words 'It Burns When I Pee.' Wyatt steps fully into the terminal to cheers from his teammates as he points to the camera when he speaks.]
Wyatt: And that gentlemen, is why you marry a doctor.
[The camera moves to show Ilya and Zane nodding appreciatively.]
Bood: You look stunning, Hazy!
Ilya: Pink is truly your color.
[The next member of the team to exit the bathroom is Nick Chouinard. His shirt is grey with a gold trophy in the middle surrounded by a string of red beads. The shirt reads 'Anal Bead Tug-O-War Champion.' Nick does a small dance as he walks toward the camera as the men catcall him and clap.]
Nick: This is the reason I have three children.
[Ilya peeks his head around, briefly blocking Nick from view.]
Ilya: Many blessings to you, Selena.
[Evan Dykstra walks toward the camera wearing a white t-shirt with an image of an ankle monitor prominently shown. Above the image the words, 'I cut my ankle monitor off to be here,' are shown in black capital letters. Evan lifts his pant legs up showing off that his ankles are not, in fact, shackled.]
Evan: For legal reasons, this is a joke, but I would absolutely cut my ankle monitor off to travel to a game.
[Nick claps him on the back and nods in agreement.]
Nick: I really felt that when I picked it out for you.
Evan: Thanks, Chouinard, that means a lot.
[Troy Barrett is next and comes out wearing a black t-shirt with three prominent images of Christ: one where he is praying, another where he holds out his hand in invitation, and the last where he's looking up with a crown of thorns. In the background, three crosses on a hill can be seen. Large text above and below the images reads, 'In Desperate Need of Nailing.' Troy runs a hand through his hair, and shakes his head.]
Troy: Jesus Christ.
Ilya: Yes, he is there. On your chest.
Troy: Am I getting canceled for this?
Ilya: Maybe, but it can't be worse than your other cancelings, and at least you still have a boyfriend to nail you this time.
[Troy seems to consider this for a moment before he nods in agreement.]
[Luca Haas leaves the restroom with his cheeks stained pink. His shirt is charcoal gray, and has an ethereal image of Mary, Joseph and an infant Jesus. The shirt reads, 'Whose God Damn White Baby Is This?' He looks embarrassed as he stops in front of the camera, looking towards his teammates who are all snickering.]
Luca: When do I get to not be referred to as a baby anymore?
Zane: When you can grow meaningful amounts of facial hair.
Luca: But Shane doesn't grow much facial hair, and you don't call him a baby. [His eyes go wide at his words as if he's just realized what he's said.] I-I mean, no offense at all to you, Shane, I just—
Shane: It's fine, Luca. Don't worry about it.
Zane: [He reaches over and squeezes Shane's shoulder, giving him an exaggerated wink when Shane glances his way.] Besides, Hollander has a different title he's about to be known by.
[Shane looks between Ilya and Zane nervously. His eyes clearly pleading for some kind of answer.]
Shane: What does that mean?
Ilya: [He grins at Shane.] I don't know, but Evan cut his ankle monitor off for it, so I'm sure it will be good.
[Zane Boodram brushes imaginary lint from his new new t-shirt that features half a dozen chickens surrounding one main chicken in the middle wears a suit of armor with a dramatic red cape. The shirt reads 'Experienced Cock Handler,' and everyone claps loudly as Zane holds his arms out for everyone to see what he's wearing. He comes to stand next to Shane.]
Zane: This is incredible, Hollander. I didn't think you had it in you.
Ilya: You would not believe how much he overthought it. [He raises his voice in a poor mimicry of Shane.] 'Do you think he'll be offended? Will he know it's a reference to his cooking? You know because he cooks a lot of chicken? What if he thinks I'm suggesting he actually touches dicks, Ilya?'
[Shane slaps his hand into Ilya's arm, glaring at him as he speaks through clenched teeth.]
Shane: Traitor.
Zane: I'm wearing this every fucking time I touch a grill from now on. It's perfection.
Shane: Great. I was hoping I'd have the opportunity to remember this day all the time.
[Wyatt comes up behind Shane and Ilya, placing his hands on their shoulders as he beings to push them toward the bathroom.]
Wyatt: Your turn, husbands.
Shane: What? Together?
Wyatt: Yep.
[Shane groans as Ilya begins to pull him towards the restroom.]
Shane: Why do I have a feeling I'm about to regret every decision I've ever made?
[Ilya and Shane emerge from the bathroom side by side. Ilya is now dressed in a white crop top with the words, 'I do as Daddy says,' in red across his chest. He looks smug as his arms stretch the sleeves and the bottom of the shirt shows off taut abs and a thick trail of hair. Shane walks beside him in a black t-shirt with the image of a wolf howling, along with a sitting werewolf and a werewolf ripping its shirt into shreds. The shirt reads, 'Be respectful to Daddy.' Ilya spins in a circle to show off his outfit while Shane rolls his eyes, his hands awkwardly placed into the pockets of his dress pants. The camera pans over to the team who wait expectantly for Shane to speak.]
Zane: Well? What do you think?
[Shane looks down at the shirt he's wearing, and then over to Ilya. His eyes rake over Ilya's chest and exposed stomach, and he bites his lip for less than a second while his cheeks flush red. Then, he shrugs.]
Shane: It's better than rainbows and dicks.
[The whole team cheers, and Ilya lands a kiss on Shane's temple.]
Zane: Damn straight, Daddy Hollander!
Troy: [He claps even as he looks conflicted by something.] I am so confused about what I'm feeling right now.
Evan: Yeah, Daddy!
Luca: Wait, who do we follow now? Captain or Daddy?
Wyatt: Definitely Daddy.
Nick: Do you think the league will let us put a 'D' on his jersey? Seems only fitting.
Ilya: I honestly do not care because I have never looked better. [He turns to Shane.] Why have I never considered crop tops before? I've been depriving everyone.
[Then men start to gather their things, and Ilya bends, wiggling his prominent ass for the camera as he picks up both his and Shane's bag. When Shane sees this, he yanks his bag out of Ilya's grasp.]
Shane: What are you doing? I can carry my own bag.
[Ilya gestures between his and Shane's shirts.]
Ilya: What do you mean? I am respecting Daddy.
Shane: Well, Daddy is perfectly capable of doing it on his own.
[Shane's eyes widen as soon as the words leave his mouth, and he glances back, only to realize he's still being recorded. He looks briefly horrified before he sighs, leaning his forehead against Ilya's shoulder.]
Shane: That's going to go viral isn't it?
Ilya: Mmm, probably.
Shane: Oh, fuck me.
Ilya: [He winks at the camera.] Not now, Daddy, we are still being recorded.
[Daddy AF by Slayyyter plays as the video cuts to a slow-motion montage of the Centaurs exiting their airplane at the Montreal airport. Each of the men walk by stone-faced still wearing their exchanged shirts, now with suit jackets over them. Ilya places sunglasses on Shane's face, despite the cloudy weather, kissing his mouth deeply before he drapes an arm possessively over Shane's shoulder. When they cross the path of the camera, Ilya blows a kiss, the movement causing his already cropped shirt to rise even higher.]
@centaurshockey Knock, knock, Voyageurs. Daddy's back in town 😉
Posted November 21st at 3:20 PM
***
@365hockeyAnyone who doesn't love this team is the worst kind of person
@hockeywhore I will have THAT soundbite up on every platform in about fifteen minutes.
@troybarretthockey @hockeywhore 👀
@troybarretthockey I am still feeling a lot of things about this.
@harrisdrover1995 Troy, love, not everything is an outside thought.
@newtralzone New Daddy kink specific to Shane Hollander? Yes, please.
@lisahayesmd This went about as well as anyone could hope for.
@puck4me OMG daddy hollander.
@stickhandler010 Posting this for a roadie that starts in Montreal? I could seriously kiss their social media manager on the mouth. (with consent of course) But seriously, fuck Montreal.
@hockeypatrol Daaddddyyyyyyyy 🥵🥵🥵🥵
@hollander24 goddamn, why am i just now thinking of shane hollander as daddy material?!
@lifeinthebox I'm so glad everyone is finally seeing Daddy's full potential.
@censfan0101 How soon do you think we can get the PM to make Everyone Discovers Shane Hollander is Daddy Day a national holiday?
@theblackandred The way I have zero doubt that Daddy is so, SO capable
@b00dramzane Daddy's back!
@wyatthayes score us all the goals, Daddy!
@evandykstra Love you, Daddy Hollander 😘😘
@lucahaas So much respect for Captain and Daddy ❤️
@realshanehollander Fuck, everyone is going to call me Daddy until I'm dead aren't they? Why did I think this was better than dicks and rainbows?
@ilyarozanov81 @realshanehollander I will wear my crop top for you if it helps…
@realshanehollander @ilyarozanov81 It would, thank you.
@ilyarozanov81 @realshanehollander …Daddy 😏
@realshanehollander @ilyarozanov81 Jesus Fucking Christ
@troybarretthockey @realshanehollander I have just the shirt you can borrow if you want ❤️