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Jude panted. His legs were giving out, pushing his body further into gravity, the floor begging to see him crumble under pressure. Footsteps echoed behind him, right on his tail. There were so many, more than he was used to during the frequent manhunts organised against him. Being a trapper came with its own downsides, and having the entire server promising to kill him was one Jude had anticipated from the very first day. Having the entire server at once, however, was another story.
In the distance, a few dozen metres away, he heard Tai’s voice guide the horde towards his location, propelled by great courage and perhaps a small hint of pride too. Killing Jude was a medal of honour on Strength. Getting rid of this stupid bunny who trapped people for the giggles could bestow great popularity on the person committing the act.
Bunny-hunting, Jude snickered under his breath, all too conscious of his physical limits after running away for literal minutes now. Sounds of wind charges and spear lunges broke the sky. Jude hissed, turning his head around to watch their progress, only to be met with a heavy branch slapping his arms and forcing blood out of him. The scratches were not deep, but they were numerous and the nettles burned his skin all the same.
“He’s just here!” Someone, probably Loppezz, yelled over the rest of the pack, dangerously cutting the distance between both groups.
“Jude! Stop running, you can’t flee your way out this time!”
“Fuck you all!” He screamed back, clutching his sword to his chest and forcing his body to keep going forward. He refused to let himself be caught so easily, without even trying to trap at least some of them in the process.
If he had to die, then he would not trespass alone.
Pulling out his map of the area, Jude checked for nearby traps he had built around, easily finding a path that would get him a few seconds of rest. There should be one right here– he stopped before the hole, staring at the few remnants of his trap, destroyed by his pursuers. Tai had sold him and snitched everything. Jude increased the pace, making his way deeper into the forest, hitting various plants and roots on his way. This would leave a mark. But so would the sword stabbing his back.
Even if Jude wanted to believe he could flee the attack, as each trap gave him the same answer, each rendered useless through either block-removing or complete overload, he began to panic. It was a natural reaction, especially for someone of his species, but it was also one he was deeply ashamed of. Judelow, the best trapper of Strength, probably of the entire world, reduced to a mere chase against the rest of the server, ah! Don’t make me laugh.
His foot caught inside a small hole into the ground. It took him all but one second to understand the issue.
It all happened very quickly. His balance tipped off, his ankle twisted, he yelped, and then he fell, knees scraping the dirty soil and hands lunging forward to protect him. In the confusion, his sword was left on the side, hidden under layers of moss and plants. When Jude tried to get up and retrieve it to pursue his escape, a sharp pain shot through his leg, pushing him back down.
Voices approached, until finally, they loomed over him. So many familiar faces, none which he enjoyed. The one person he would have wanted to see was absent, refusing to engage into the rabbit hunt of the day for whatever reason, although Jude reckoned he had every reason to participate too.
The longing made him ache in unknown ways, a distorted sensation passing through his veins, forcing the bile to ascend his oesophagus.
“Well, look who’s here,” Tai smiled, his sword teasing the skin on Jude’s neck. The tip pointed directed at the carotid, ready to slice if Jude were to try another one of his plans. “Can’t believe you held on for so long.”
“What the fuck is your problem?” Jude bit back. “Chasing me everywhere like a damn colony of dogs, how many of you are there? Five, seven, ten? Hell, I know you, you could have gathered twenty of them just for the pleasure of assassinating me.”
The sword dug slightly deeper into Jude’s skin, just shy of slaughtering him. Of course, Tai loved to play with him as his next victim, it made him feel powerful. It reminded all the curious eyes around of who the owner of Strength was.
“You forget that you’re in no position to talk.”
“Oh yeah? Is that it?”
“Yes,” Tai seethed. “Do you know how many people died in your stupid traps yesterday? Twelve. Twelve people down due to your little inventions and spawn trapping. What’s next? Taking out the entire server by yourself?”
“I could try, but something tells me you won’t like it.”
“I can’t allow you to continue terrorising everyone like that. Strength was not meant to be a place full of paranoia,” Tai continued, disinterested at Jude’s antics.
“Oh yeah, you say that but you’re the first to enjoy a good kill. So really, tell me, is it about protecting your precious server or is it about getting rid of me? Because you know I won’t stop, and you’re afraid to lose all your stuff in front of everyone, to tarnish your perfect reputation.”
“You don’t know me, Jude.”
A smile grew on his lips as the blade poked at his neck. If this was how he would go, then at least he had protected his charisma as much as he could have. He heard people muttering, nodding at some of his own words.
They would not turn their back on Tai, but at least they had the full understanding of the situation. No matter what Tai said, Strength was a showdown of power. His trapping was an act of survival and hubris all caught in the same net.
“I don’t?”
“No you don’t.”
Tai raised his sword, ready to put an end to this stupid conversation. Jude closed his eyes, awaiting the divine punishment falling on him. Silence stretched. The air broke in two as the blow descended upon his body.
But the impact never came.
Someone hurled behind. Soon enough, one body fell to the ground, inanimate. Another joined its comrade quickly, a scream choked inside the throat of someone who had not been allowed to pronounce their last words. Next thing they knew, they would be back on their bed, panting and reliving the pain of their last instants.
Jude attempted to open one eye, judging the utter chaos of the forest. Tai still had him at sword-point, but his attention had wavered, lost in the ruckus happening within his ranks. Their formation weakened, blades flew into the air, gurgles suffocated in the blood that spilled from useless corpses.
In the confusion, Jude’s eyes caught on something. A spec of red. The one line that ran along the edges of the black and white world Jude had been stuck in for all eternity. His breath caught in his throat.
Tai screamed, a sword piercing his leg in the calf. The opening gave Jude just enough time to free himself from the deadly contact and to throw his body on the side, where he would be far enough to breath again. He trampled over, slumped on the grass, observing the fight happening from a distance. When he ran a hand over his neck, he felt blood dripping. His arms were covered in red, skin peeled off on every patch, his limbs aching and his ankle screaming in agony. There was no saving him past this point. Making it alive was already a great challenge Jude was not sure he could possibly go beyond.
A loud yell broke the atmosphere. Tai fell on his knees, the sword poking through his chest. He raised his head one last time, teeth gritted and fists clenched at the sight of his opponent, before finally slumping down, before his body returned to the earth, decomposing in seconds.
Jude looked up. There was the angel of destruction he knew. The one he followed everywhere, hoping to be on the right side once the day of rebellion came. The clouds parted, leaving only one ray of light hitting them, forming a harsh halo around the man’s head. Jude’s breath halted.
When he was younger, his parents had always told him about the beauty and perfection of divine beings, those sent to protect and guide thee when the path to righteousness blurred. And Jude had believed them. All his life, he had searched for this beacon of light somewhere, for signs telling him he was still walking in the right direction, that salvation was close.
But angels did not come in the form of purity. They were made of devastation, despair and human misery. They absorbed everything and distributed vengeance to the reprobates accordingly. More than that, angels were humane in their behaviour. They never denied subjectivity and favouritism, and those who fell on either side of the spectrum feared the wrath awaiting them, Damocles’ sword dangling dangerously above their head.
Jude saw the blonde hair one more time before his eyes closed, wounds and exhaustion barring him from quenching his curiosity. Before he dispersed into his own thoughts, he felt the steady presence of arms around him, and the comfort of certainty.
The walk back home would be long.
Jude always hated overhead lamps. Those bright, neon white lights that burned his eyes when he worked late into the evening and had to rely on candles to keep the desk visible enough to draw. Hundreds of blueprints were scattered over the room, each the testimony of an attempt at something greater. Most had failed at conception, too wanky, too easy to find, too this-and-that… Jude used to hate this sensation of failure and self-disappointment when he first started trapping, but after years of mastering his craft and allowing himself to doubt, he found the sole presence of those sheets in the dark quite pleasant.
They were his only companions when the world grew too loud, too brilliant and alive for him to cope.
He blinked. The lights were turned off, thank God, he sighed, rubbing his eyes and immediately wincing at the sharp pain that sipped into every muscle of his body. His limbs were so sore that he wondered how he would possibly get up to work in the following days. There were so many traps he still had to redesign, ideas yet to be brought to existence and—
And Sharpness was at his door.
Jude felt his ears shooting upright, standing tall on his head. Stupid over reacting ears, he thought while trying to get them to fall down, his cheeks flushed a pretty pink hue. Warmth settled over him like a tidal wave, intense and greedy.
“How are you feeling?” Sharp asked, taking one single step forward, leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest.
He had forgone his armour and opted for a pair of sweats and a large shirt that made no effort to hide the muscles of his arms and thighs, his hair kept up with a single purple ribbon. One he must have found in Jude’s base, since Sharp only wore red ribbons himself. Not that Jude knew.
It was a simple supposition.
“Why are you in my base?”
“One question at a time bunny, answer mine and I’ll answer yours.”
Despite having the upper hand in the situation, considering Jude’s condition and inability to move, Sharpness still found a valid excuse to be a prick. That man feared nothing and no one. For all he knew, Jude could very well have a backup trap built right under his feet, activating it through the simple push of a button situated next to his bed. But the sheer trust he had in Jude made it very clear that Sharp did not care for possible betrayal and assassination.
Strange, but Jude paid it no mind. He had no time to spare losing his mind over the stupid thump of his heart against his chest.
“My body is on fire and I feel like a horde of cows walked over me while I was asleep, does that answer your question?” Jude spit, his tone coated with venom.
“Good enough.”
Sharpness took another couple of steps and found himself at the foot of Jude’s bed. That man was already tall enough on most days, but sitting back against the wall, his head raised up to look into his eyes, Jude felt very, very, tiny at this instant.
“So, why are you in my base?”
“Brought you back after the fight,” Sharp shrugged as he answered, dragging a chair and falling onto it. The squeaking of the parquet brought shivers on Jude’s back, his eardrums whining at the painful sound.
“So that was you. Always need to show up to save the day, don’t you? What next? You want me to get on my knees and praise you like my saviour?”
Sharp smirked, leaning closer, his eyes narrowed into two slits. Jude always had the feeling Sharpness acted like a wild predator on Strength, but despite his usual killing sprees, he had never received any confirmation of that claim.
Except today.
Sharpness looked at him with hunger in his eyes, barely concealed behind the distance that separated them. Jude carefully crafted his next movements, persuaded that he would be jumped if he missed a single step of the plan.
“Yeah, I would like that.”
“Fuck you,” Jude said. “If you saved me just for that, you can go fuck yourself. I’m not doing anything.”
“I saved your life back there,” Sharpness reminded him, and Jude had to calm the torrent in his chest, scared it might overflow.
“Wow, you did something nobody asked you for, do you need a medal?”
“I can’t believe you’re still acting like a bitch even after being nearly wiped out by half of the server. Your cockiness knows no limits uh?”
“Just shut up, oh my god,” Jude dragged a hand over his face, bemoaning the quietness of his base back in the days. Except for Parker’s usual comings and goings when he needed help with traps, nobody ever dared to disturb his peace.
Nobody except stupid Sharpness.
But Jude did not need him. Nor did he feel the urge to let himself be carried once more to the confines of the universe, with the knight protecting him by his side. Fuck that, Jude was not a damsel in distress, he could save his own ass without anyone to come to the rescue. If Sharpness had felt entitled to engage into the fight and potentially save Jude’s life at the same time, then good for him.
Boasting about it did not change anything.
Jude removed the blanket with excessive harshness. He winced when he felt the ache in his body and stretched his arms as high as he could, ignoring the burning pain that came with it. He was not weak, he repeated in his mind like a mantra. He was not weak.
The first — and only — step Jude took sent a shock through his body. The pain was so intense that a scream breached past his mouth, launching the sound through the base. His ankle pleaded for respite and his entire balance tipped off, sending him right back to square one. Gripping the sheets, he seethed. This… weakness was something he had tried to erase for so long, just for it to mock him and come right back in his face like a twisted joke.
In front of Sharpness. His rival, friend, and… Jude shut his mind off. He did not need knots in his brain when he was already dealing with enough issues.
“Here.”
Sharpness helped him settle back into bed, as much as Jude hated it, and handed him a glass of water. The liquid felt nice against his throat, and Jude finally allowed himself a second of respite after the horrors of earlier.
“Why did they chase you?” Sharp asked.
“They didn’t like that I killed them, so they tried to assert dominance.”
“Clearly they won to some extent, considering your health.”
“If you’re here to criticise me, you can take the door and never come back, ok?” Jude exhaled, blushing and unable to hide the warmth at the tip of his ears. Thank god for Sharpness and his stupidity, because anyone else would have already seen through his acting.
“I saved your life and brought you back, I’m not going to let yourself get hurt because of your pride.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”
Sharpness grabbed Jude’s wrist, as softly as he could, his thumb grazing over the bruised skin and his eyes scanning for traces of uncared for possible wounds. When he noticed a bloodied patch, he got up, reached for some bandages and spray, and came back down.
“This might sting,” he said.
“What do you—“
Jude choked on his words, the antiseptic burning every inch of his skin, seemingly peeling away the patch where nettles had scratched him during the chase. He bit his lower lip, pushing enough to draw blood and hurt him in the process. But the pain was ridiculous next to the sting of his arm.
Sharpness grabbed a tissue and wrapped it around Jude’s arm, letting it absorb the excess. They remained quiet as they watched the miracle happen.
“Didn’t you have any healing potion on you? This would have been much more efficient than watching me suffer— Or perhaps that’s what you wanted uh, to see me twitch under your watch?”
“You are not dying, Jude, there is no need for radical measures,” Sharpness said in all calmness, his hands working precisely to clean the wound and remove the dried off blood that tainted Jude’s freckled skin. He moved without any superfluous gesture, repeating a familiar motion he had probably performed thousands of times in his life.
“How did you learn all of this?” Jude asked, curiosity taking the better of him. Not that he did not believe Sharp to be capable of first-aid, but the image he had of this fighter was far from the nurse currently tending to him in the silence of an underground base.
The dichotomy was so powerful that it made him dizzy.
“I have to take care of myself after battles. That’s how.”
“But don’t you have—” Jude stopped himself in the middle of his sentence. This was mean. He was being inconsiderate by reminding Sharpness of his own shortcomings. A lone wolf did not have teammates that could help him. It did not possess a safe haven and pack to which it could return after the hunt, to share the glee of victory or drown the songs of sorrow.
No matter the outcome of Sharp’s high adrenaline fights, the celebration came alone, in the silence of the wild world.
And it struck Jude, how similar they were. Where Sharpness let his own feelings get lost in the immenseness of the universe, Jude buried it underground, where nobody else could potentially dig it out for everyone to see. In their respective fashion, they betrayed their humanity and refused people to glimpse at the inside of their shells.
“When you’re in nature and someone stabbed you in the leg, you have to take care of the wound, even if you have had a potion before. Some scars stay forever.”
“Show me,” Jude muttered, gripping Sharp’s arm and looking deep into his eyes. “I want to see it.”
“My scars?”
”Yes.”
At the sound of the ludicrous request, Sharpness raised a brow. He parted his lips, searching for the right words to counter Jude, but found no logical response that could explain his rebuttal. Scars were just dead skin in the end, they held history, but they were nothing more than marks that would fade with time, or be replaced by freshly arrived sisters attracting all the attention.
Slowly, he reached for his shirt and turned around. Sharpness removed it, displaying his back for Jude to see.
Fingertips danced across the vast expanse of his skin, exploring crevasses and mounts without stopping, enjoying the relief of experience and the story each mark held. How many fights did Sharpness win? How many did he lose? Which hurt the most? Which was the hardest?
As his fingers kept sketching forms over Sharp’s back, Jude struggled to reason with himself.
The desire to know everything was not new. It had always been there, hidden under layers of ego and id, waiting for someone to discover its presence one day. The intensity of this obsession, however, was new. It set Jude aflame and sent waves of thirst reeling inside his lungs.
“Are you done?” Sharp asked, shaking Jude out of his thoughts.
“Uh? Oh. Yeah. Thanks.”
“I don’t know what you find interesting about that.”
“You wouldn’t understand,” Jude sighed. “Do I still need to be patched up or can I go back to sleep? I’m exhausted.”
“Let me at least see your other arm.”
And so they worked in silence. Jude tried to think about plans for his future traps, to imagine foolproof mechanisms and builds that would get him back to the top of the server after today’s awful deception. Every time he touched the nirvana with the tip of his fingers, the sensation of Sharpness’ warmth invading his senses sent him back to square one.
He was impossible to ignore. And one question still bothered Jude. That Sharp was tending to his wounds was surprising, but not entirely out of character. He was not a heartless man, no matter how hard the other server members tried to paint him. The tenderness he reserved for his grand projects and the happiness at seeing the traps Jude built for him were real. None of that could be fabricated.
No, the healing was not weird enough to raise suspicions. The saving, however…
“Why did you come there?” Jude asked, watching as Sharp’s hand stilled over his wrist. “In the forest, I mean. I hadn’t seen you before, I didn’t even know you were around.”
“If I tell you, will you let me finish this?”
“Maybe,” Jude asked. “It’s just a question.”
“It was unfair from them. You were one against ten, there was no way to survive. I didn’t like their excuse either.”
“You’re lying.”
Sharp’s grip tightened. “What—”
“Your ears are pink, you’re lying. We’ve worked together in the past, I know how you work, princess. No need to hide from me. So now, tell me the truth. Why did you help me back then?”
Sharpness groaned, bringing a hand to cover his mouth. A sound came out, muffled by the layers of skin separating them. Through the pain of moving, Jude wriggled out of his position and eventually lowered Sharpness’ arm, leaving them face to face, no escape possible.
“Tell me.”
“I didn’t want you to end up like me,” he mumbled. “They wouldn’t have just killed you. They would have taken their time and let their swords carve ugly patterns all over your skin. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“Do you think your scars are ugly?” Jude asked, rubbing his thumb over the edge of the blanket, finding himself unable to settle on one action at a time. The truth behind Sharp’s actions had sent his mind spiralling again, and the only way out of this was self deception.
“Yes. They are.”
“No, they’re not. They’re beautiful,” Jude whispered, leaning closer. “They’re fucking pretty, just like you, idiot.”
“People don’t say things they don’t mean usually, Jude,” Sharpness answered, safeguarding the few centimetres between them, still too afraid to close the gap and seal their fate once and for all.
Change was scary. Change was unpredictable. The safety of routine shattered every time change was introduced.
“I mean every fucking letter of what I said.”
Jude yanked Sharpness forward, forcing the inevitable collision of their orbits. Body against body, silvered soul against silvered soul, galactic voyagers meeting their gravitational point after wandering the infinite universe for eons. Jude ached, the pain still present and aggravated by his motion, but none of this mattered when the subject of his attention lay against him, warm and present, and welcoming and— Sharpness, Sharpness, Sharpness—
The roughness of hands, the softness of lips and the living contradiction bottled up in a man incapable of expressing his feelings but jumping to save the person he loved the most. Jude lost himself in the presence of the only one he ever allowed into his space, the single refuge he had built with his bare hands for years. It did not tumble down and shatter, it simply opened its door to let a second resident in.
Sharpness was so stupidly delicate, treating Jude with the care a fine collector would with his porcelain dolls, making sure to not push at the sensitive spots, his hands circling the precious waist of a man he had pinned after for amber eras.
The room filled with sounds of soft whining, shuffling around, an occasional pained moan or a praise sent to the confines of space. No one else could understand them. They had been moulded to address the other, with no other goal than to collide one day.
Sharp leaned back, his lips red and puffy from kissing, cheeks dusted pink and hair a mess over his head. What a vision of paradise, Jude thought. Angels were perfect. They were ever changing and chaotic, bathing in obsession and depravity, but they were the exact kind Jude loved.
How lucky was he to receive one of them as a present. To have the divine gaze cast down upon him, protecting his insignificant life with the strongest one God could have spared from his ranks.
He let his head fall on Sharp’s shoulder.
“Next time, I’ll kill them all,” Jude whispered to no one and everyone simultaneously. “I’ll have their head and hang it in my room.”
“Perhaps not in the room,” Sharp answered, tracing circles over Jude’s waist. “And I doubt they will run after you any time soon.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“You like it.”
Jude gave a noncommittal ‘hmm’, eyes closed against the warmth of this chest. The heavens and earths could turn their back on him any time now, there was no need to be afraid, for the only support he ever needed was the steady presence of a fighter ready to reject the world to be by his side.
The sheets crumpled under them. The last candle blew its flame away. Strength dived into the night as star-crossed lovers held each other for the first time since the creation of the universe.