Chapter Text
“My dearest Elon,
My love for you shall never end. Through the wind and the trees, through the AI haters and the immigrants, nothing shall keep us apart. My time on stage with bright lights and the chanting shall falter soon, but my love for you shall not. Your AI will become our fleeting success and together we shall rule the world.
Love,
The one in your dreams
(written by AI)”
Elon skims the letter in complete silence and confusion, though it seems to be acted out because there is a faint smile on his face. He whispers “Donny, Donny, Donny, you have done it again.” He holds the letter up to his heart and orders one of his assistants to call Donald Trump and hand him the phone.
The assistant shuffles around papers, makes calls, and aggressively types until she finally hands the phone to Elon. “Here you go sir!” Elon sits on his desk while fiddling the cord of the phone with his finger. “Miss,” Elon says “You may leave now.” The assistant runs out of the office and trips over a pile of letters from Trump. “I did not graduate college for this” she mutters while picking her glasses up. She wipes the glasses with her shirt and sighs before leaving.
“Donny, my love. How are you doing?”
“Well, Elon, I’m quite miserable”
“Honey, why?”
“Melania and I got into a fight again. She’s being a big meanie!”
“Baby, just hold on. I am going there right away ok!”
Elon sighs. His darling is suffering in pain because of his wife. He dreams of being with Trump. A fantasy sparks in his mind of him and Donald ruling the world together. With his AI and their love, they’re quite literally unstoppable. He calls the assistant back up to the office. “I need you to get a car for me right away, Trump is devastated right now!” looking like she just cried, she nods her head and orders a limo to be parked up the estate. When Elon heads out the door he exchanges glances with the assistant. Tears in her eyes, and tissue in her hand.
Elon forgot about this quickly because of Donald Trump supposedly being in despair. A long black car is parked up outside and he gets in. The driver takes him up to Donald Trump's office. When Elon made it to the office, Donald Trump was already awaiting his arrival. He looked ecstatic when he saw the limo pull up in the driveway. “My Elon, come in.” They tried to play it cool and serious but Trump could not contain his excitement once they were led to a private room. “Elon! I’ve missed you so much!”
“Oh donny wonny, don’t worry! I love you so much! You should know this already!”
“Elon, you are the best ever!”
“Well, you are the best shareholder ever.”
Trump giggles and invites Elon to play golf with him sometime. He explains how fun it could be to play golf in sunny weather. He suggests that Elon wear a loose sun dress so he could bask in the presence of his favorite wife.
“Oh donny, that is such an offer, especially coming from you. It would be my honor.”
Donald Trump shakes his hand, but Elon keeps it there for a while and stares into his eyes. Donald starts to blush a little and slowly gets out of the handshake by caressing his hand down to the finger tips.