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Two Time sat, eyes boring into the back of the pew in front of them. Their hands were grasped together, tight enough for their already pale skin to whiten around the knuckles.
The voice of their teacher boomed, telling of good news. Good news of another child of the Spawn gaining a second life. “As did I, a fellow child has gained a second chance from their sins!”
They felt it rise through their body, shame and praise fought for their place in their actions as Amarah called them to stand with her. They stood on shaking legs and walked forth in the silence.
“My star student, named by humble worshipers now as Two Time, has completed the rigorous trials put forth by the Spawn for their second life.” Two Time shook next to Amarah, trying desperately to quell the cower of their hands and legs. “In their honor, tonight we celebrate grandly!”
Two Time looked up, seeing their lovers family with red eyes
“Bless this young soul, dear Spawn! Bless them with your good will, guide their spirits to do your will.”
Tears pricked at Two Times eyes. Their whole body felt sore, a thumping in their head and ringing in their ears. They attempted to focus on the praises Amarah spoke, the good will of the Spawn being put upon them, the feeling of second life to be used.
Amarah pushed them forward as he dismissed them to be seated again. However Two Time snuck out of the chapel and ran to the garden.
Tears streamed from their eyes as they looked on it. The love that their partner had put into this very patch all for people he had grown resentful towards. It would never see such luscious care until he one day returns.
Two Time could only hope for their lover, because if they were deserving of second life Azurewrath deserved it tenfold. And if they were tasked with a second life they knew it would be torture without him by their side.
Their tears seeped into the soil of the vegitation as they stood over it. They reached towards the crops, but suddenly felt a deep seated type of dirty. One that convinced them they were not deserving of touching anything that was his.
They quickly turned and ran deeper into the forest that held the commune, finding the clearing of beautiful flowers they’d been in the night before. They shuffled to where Azure had laid with a dagger in their back and collapsed into the poisonous flower.
They took a flower into their hand and squeezed it tight, feeling their nails pierce their skin and let the flower seep deep within. They cried out dropping their head.
All of this was the Spawn’s will, why did they feel sick to their stomach over it? Had the Spawn been displeased with their choice of sacrifice? Had they done it wrong? Thought after thought flashed their crowded mind.
Soon enough they heard a shuffle from out beyond the treeline. They looked up, wide tearful eyes flicking back and forth. Their delusional mind made up that Azure would come to them and nurse them and the substance spreading through their body to health. But out came Amarah.
“Child.” A strong tone, which showed no willingness to excuse their absence.
“Teacher!” They cried raising on wobbling legs, running to their side and collapsing. They tightly wrapped their arms around their waist. “Teacher, help me.. please! I feel like I’m dying! Help me, please!”
“This is what it feels like to gain your second life,” Amarah began, a hand raising to pet the younger’s head. “Do not dare waste your opportunity on poison.”
“You will soon be sinless, you will be forgiven.” Amarah spoke soft as their fingers ran through Two Time’s hair shallowly. “The pain will pass.”
They wanted to say more, but only cried. Amarah continued to pet them, however he could truly care less. Soon enough their sobs grew annoying and they pushed the child away. “Go rest, you will feel better after getting sleep.”
Two Time stumbled back, their body yearning once again for the physical touch. They nodded their head and stood.
Amarah noticed their weak stance and rolled their eyes, shielding the action with a turn. She beckoned the younger to follow her.
They stumbled close behind, wishing for some kind of comfort, anything. A horrific feeling settled deep into their bones and churned their gut into tight knots.
They tried to use tactics Azure would recommend, watching the clouds or stars in the sky, watch the breeze rustle trees as you walk past them. Feel wind in between your fingers, let it guide you back to the sacred earth. Two Time did all these things, none of them quelled the vicious feeling tearing their insides apart.
Quickly they halted behind their teacher and turned, doubling over and vomitting into a bush. Amarah halted as well, but did not turn to help them.
Two Time knew Amarah believed strongly in independence. Their independence was a gift of the Spawn just as Amarah and anyone else’s was. They needed to be prideful, they’d done good by their savior. They’d done Their will.
“Get up.” It wasn’t harsh, but a demand nonetheless. Two Time rose and stumbled to catch up with Amarah, as they had begun to walk again.
“You may rest when you get to your stay, until then look presentable.” He looked back for the first time. “Quit crying and stand straighter.”
Two Time almost immediately obeyed, they wiped their tears. Soon after letting their hands find their way to their sides, fingers clutching tightly to the fabric of their pants to distract from their crying.
Amarah led them the rest of the way to their home on the commune, joining them inside to make sure they had all they needed and that the medal of their feat the night before was safely in their possession for further use.
“Teacher…” They weakly called. She turned with a brow raised. “What are you meant to do with your second life?”
It was abrupt and Amarah was rather tired of the questioning and begging, but humored them. “You make up for the sins you will commit in this life.”
Two Time’s gaze slowly met Amarah’s eyes, watching their smile widen.
“Until you can do so adequately, the intended way,” Two Time swallowed hard at her tone. “you know how to handle your transgressions, Two Time.”
Two Time’s tears brimmed once again, pure fear overtaking their body. He was no longer there to care for them after, how could she possibly suggest such a thing?
“I’ll make it better.” He would promise softly. His hands delicately held the freshly bandaged appendage. There was no more holding them close as they panicked, as they begged for mercy on their soul. No more gentle kisses in the morning or at night. No more sneaking off to where he promised nobody would hear them. They had nothing left.
Amarah watched as realization weaken them, leaving with a smiley goodbye and hearing Two Time collapse to the floor in tandem with the door falling shut.