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Throughout his whole life,
Yugamu had been eating corpses of the dead to keep himself alive.
Not using the Ration-O-Matic, Yugamu decided to cook a little something for himself and Takumi that night.
“Wow… That looks really good.”
“Smells nice, too, right?”
He took a seat, directly across from the man who had been sitting, waiting for the food to be served. A plate of horumonyaki was placed on the table where Takumi was already sitting, filling the air of the cafeteria with its aroma and stimulating their sense of smell. The look of it too was appetizing. The young man with crimson hair looked at the meal laid out before him with mild excitement, making the other man grin a little with fondness.
Late night supper with just two people,
“I think I realized it just now, but, so you can actually cook something…”
they conversed,
“Have I never before?”
feeling the hungriness in their stomachs,
“You only seemed like you wanted to drug or test a poison on me whenever you said you wanted to cook. And I always ran away, because I didn’t want to be your victim. That’s why.”
aside from their own voices, listening to the sound of the surrounding stillness. So quiet, as if the whole world had gone to sleep itself.
“My…what an unkind thing to say, Sumino-kun. It might turn me on, you know?”
The two were faintly smiling.
But the uneasiness in their chests lingered, still. And it wouldn’t be washed away with a stream of water, not after the cruel, terrible thing that had happened today. Not only the two of them, they were sure, the others who were not present must feel the same—the others who were still alive.
When the battle ended, Yugamu stayed dwelling in his own mind for a while. Time went by, for god knew how many hours since the guy didn’t glance at the clock even once. The next thing he knew, the lookalike of the sun had gone down, the lookalike of the moon appeared to see in the sky. The Artificial Satellite neither rose nor fell, but during the time of night, it could be seen with bare eyes so clearly. By that time, Yugamu hadn’t eaten, nor had he slept. Instead of consuming, he was being consumed by his own head.
That was it, until he could feel the hungriness in his stomach.
You shall not die, you shall devote yourself to killing, therefore, you shall be alive. It was as if his body scolded him. For a strange reason, it reminded him of his own family... How cruel and heartless a human body could be sometimes. He did sigh.
Yugamu was compelled to go to the cafeteria with a disheartened spirit. At this time of the day, everyone probably went to sleep already, or they should be in their own rooms at least, if they were still awake…
Or so he thought. Yugamu didn’t expect to see Takumi come into the cafeteria not so long after him. Lacking choices, the young assassin donned a smile when their eyes met… It turned out their leader, as well, hadn’t eaten anything today. He, too, felt hungry, decided to find something to fill his stomach during that unusual time of the night. Since Yugamu decided to cook something for himself anyway, he invited Takumi to join him. The one being asked accepted his offer straightforwardly.
Together,
looking into each other's eyes,
it seemed as if everything was fine,
on the outside.
However, what was on each other’s mind, they were unaware. They were together, yet they were alone in their own head while charading the moment as a typical, peaceful dinner, with the two people who were perfectly happy.
In truth, Yugamu’s brain could recall all those things in the past, distant ones and recent ones, he remembered them all at the moment.
Absorbing,
Devouring.
Throughout his whole life, Yugamu had been eating corpses of the dead to keep himself alive. What happened today somehow reminded him harshly of the reality he had been facing. And right now, he was about to do it again; consuming a corpse, this time with Takumi alongside—. It may look appetizing. It may not be a corpse of a human—but corpses are still corpses all the same way. He devoured them to prolong one’s life, or rather his own... Those thoughts in his head wouldn’t stop. But he had no choice, he needed to eat, he needed to do something, or his body would die down and disappear forever. Predated or be predated, killed or be killed, the Omokages taught him.
With the scent of grilled offals tickling the nostrils,
“Let’s dine,” they both said the phrase at the same time like it was a ritual or some kind.
And the dining ritual officially started right after.
( In his own memories, Yugamu heard a voice from a person. ‘No! Don’t kill me! Please!’ It was a beg from a man he couldn’t remember the face any longer.
Ignoring the pleading for life, )
Yugamu aimed for the heart.
…Then he picked it up with the chopsticks in his right hand, popped it into his own mouth. Chewing, tearing it into pieces with his teeth, swallowing it down shortly after. The grilled heart tasted great… the same way he could remember. It might be hard for horumonyaki to go wrong anyway, he supposed. Not even thinking of the fact that he was the one who cooked it right.
( ‘Please! I don’t want to die!’ This one was a cry from a woman...only what she said, also. He couldn’t remember who she was either. )
After the heart is mammary. This one, too, he chewed it, savored the taste of it well—
( ‘Stop!’ )
Then the kidney.
( ‘No!’ )
The diaphragm.
( ‘Why are you doing this!?’ )
The intestine.
( ‘It hurts! Somebody help me…!’ )
The pancreas.
( ‘Stop it! Please…!’ )
Then the heart again. The man disposed of them all, making them part of his own flesh.
He chewed them again and again, swallowed the pieces of organ meat over and over—. The more Yugamu ate horumonyaki, the less tired his body became. He felt pleasant. At the same time, he felt ashamed. It was sad. It was delicious. But the harsh and cold universe didn’t care. A living needed to eat to survive, even if it meant others had to die in the process, that's just how it was. No one got to decide how it worked, no one at all. Yugamu continued eating, filling his stomach with more pieces of animal corpses despite a little feeling of contradiction… Because it couldn’t be helped.
“Say, Omokage…”
Out of nowhere, Takumi said something aloud. With those words, the total silence that had preceded his remarks was broken somehow.
“Yes, dear?”
Having someone to talk to, helping him take a break from his own mind, Yugamu answered. He put his utensils down, lifted his face back to look into the bright blue eyes of the man who was sitting right in front. Still, the one who initiated the conversation seemed a little hesitant whether he should say it or not.
“I’m not sure if I should ask but…” Figured from your adorable face, actually. Yugamu thought, not saying it out loud. In the meantime, Takumi paused his sentence, averting his eyes away for a little. But it was not too long before his gaze came back, and the rest of the sentence came out.
“Don’t you find it upsetting?”
No context found in those words. Not that it was too hard to guess what he was talking about.
“About what happened today?”
He nodded at Yugamu’s answer.
“You seem so calm…and you are able to smile like usual.
Didn’t that upset you?”
“Of course it did, Sumino-kun—”
For some reason he couldn’t comprehend well, the words slipped from his own lips before he could know what happened. For murder’s sake…that should not have happened. But he wasn’t lying either, and there was no need to deny it. He merely had to choose his next words more carefully. Yugamu silenced himself for a few seconds.
“…I’m not that heartless, you know. I love every one of you cuties. I just am not good at expressing my worries…I think.”
Because how could he show his weakness, when it meant to be predated by something else? He couldn’t say that part out loud.
“Is that so…?”
It was Yugamu who nodded this time.
“Still, we have no choice but to go on.
Just like we have no choice but to eat our dinner, don’t you think?”
He didn’t quite understand, but Yugamu didn’t explain anything regarding this any further.
The supper they had together wasn’t anything abnormal, at the same time, however, it was weird, there was a strange feeling Takumi couldn’t quite put into words nor prove. But eventually it came to an end. The plates now were empty as the food had all gone down to the stomachs of two people. Nothing was left to eat anymore.
Time to say farewell to this evening meal. “Thanks for the meal.” Takumi said.
The fullness was there,
along with the Hemoanima of their friends in their abdomens.