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Jude had known it was a risk, sneaking out to see and stay with Erling every night but he’d hoped he was being somewhat sneaky about it. Apparently not. Naturally, Harry was the one to confront him about it. It was his job as captain, after all.
He hadn’t been back in his room long, having spent the night with Erling again. They spent so little time together that it only made sense for one of them to sneak out to see the other while they were in the same city, preparing for their upcoming match against each other on Saturday. Their relationship wasn’t easy, it never had been even when they’d been teammates and lived together in Germany but they loved each other and had been determined to make it work once they no longer lived in the same country.
There was a knock on his door and when he opened it, Jude was a little surprised to see Harry Kane, although considering the way the conversation went, it hadn’t come as a surprise that Harry had been the one to bring it up. “Morning, Harry. I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon.” Jude commented.
“Can I come in?” Harry asked.
“Of course.” Jude agreed.
“Thank you. This isn’t a conversation I want to have where anyone can overhear.” Harry stated. Jude could feel his heart begin to beat a little faster. This sounded like it was going to be a bad conversation and he had no idea what his captain was about to say. Harry came into the room and took a seat on the chair. Jude cautiously perched himself on the end of the bed, the bed he’d barely slept in since they arrived in Miami.
“Is it that bad?” Jude asked once they were seated.
“Not necessarily bad.” Harry offered. “Just a few of us have noticed that you’ve been sneaking in and out at odd hours and I wanted to check that everything is okay with you. It’s not like you to behave like this.”
“Oh. No, it’s fine. No one needs to worry.” Jude sighed, a little relieved that it was nothing worse. He didn’t know what he’d expedite to say but at least he was just checking in. Jude was a little disgruntled, he’d thought he was doing a good job of getting in and out without being seen but oh well. At least no one knew what was going on just yet. The only ones who knew about Jude and Erling’s relationship were their families and they would have preferred to keep it that way for a little longer.
“Where have you been going at that time?” Harry asked.
“I don’t have to tell you.” Jude pointed out.
“You’re right, you don’t.” Harry agreed. “But you can’t keep leaving the hotel to go who knows where in the middle of the night, Jude. It’s the quarterfinals on Saturday and we all want to progress to the semis.”
“I’m not doing anything to jeopardise our chances!” Jude exclaimed, all but jumping to his feet. It wasn’t fair. He and Erling got to spend next to no time together now they played for teams in different countries and they were on different national teams. How dare Harry try and tell him what he could and couldn’t do? Nothing he was doing put their team at risk of losing on Saturday, in fact, sleeping next to Erling improved their chances because Jude always slept better when he was with his boyfriend.
“Sneaking out so late and sneaking in early isn’t going to improve them.” Harry argued.
“How do you know? Why can’t you take me at my word? Please, trust me. I promise it will benefit us if you keep allowing me to ‘sneak’ out. Don’t suppose I can call it sneaking when apparently everyone knows about it.” Jude replied.
“You are the only one who knows where you’re going and why. I won’t force you to tell me but you’ve got to see it from my perspective, Jude. It looks dodgy. One of my players has been leaving the hotel late and coming back early so no one notices them? If it was someone else, what would you be thinking?” Harry reasoned. Jude sighed heavily.
“My boyfriend is here.” Jude admitted. He knew he could trust Harry but in the current circumstances, Harry couldn’t trust him.
“So you’ve been sneaking out to go and see him.” Harry guessed.
“Yeah. We don’t get to spend that much time together so we try to make the most of every situation.” Jude explained.
“He’s another player?” Harry asked. Jude nodded.
“You’ll never be able to guess who he is.” Jude said, sarcastically.
“I think I have a pretty good idea. But it’s none of my business. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pressured you into telling me.” Harry offered.
“It’s fine. We’ve been together for five years so it’s not like it’s anything new.” Jude shrugged. It felt kind of good to tell someone outside of their families about the relationship.
“That long?”
“Yeah, it’s not a new thing. Hence why I want to see him.” Jude chuckled.
“That can’t be easy on either of you.”
“Like I said, we make the most of the time we do get to spend together and make opportunities. Like now.” Jude shrugged. He and Erling knew there was nothing more they could do right now, although they had dreams of one day playing on the same team again but for now, they were happy where they were. They were still able to make things work and that was the main thing. Their relationship was strong despite the distance.
“I’m sorry. I should have trusted you.” Harry said.
“I can understand why you didn’t though. Like you said, the way I’ve been acting is really shady and I can see from your point of view why you were worried, why the other guys are worried too.” Jude shrugged. Even though Harry had been pressuring him, he didn’t have to tell his captain the reason. Although Harry clearly felt like he’d forced Jude to out himself.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You just did but sure.” Jude laughed.
“Now you’re just being a smart arse.” Harry deadpanned. Jude continued to laugh. “How does it work? Playing against each other? That can’t be easy on either of you.”
“We’re used to it by now, it’s been happening for most of our relationship.” Jude said with a wry smile. “We leave it all out there on the pitch and when we’re together again, it’s just us. On the pitch we’re members of our team but when it’s just us, we’re just Jude and Erling. We had to figure out a way to make it work and we did.”
“I’m happy for you. I’ll admit, we’ve always been a little curious. You’ve never had a girlfriend, the only people who come to matches to support you are your family. I wouldn’t have guessed you had a boyfriend but it’s none of my business. Sorry, I should just stop talking.” Harry laughed.
“It’s nothing I haven’t heard before. I spend a lot of time online and there has been speculation about my sexuality because everyone else seems to have a girlfriend and I never have. People either think I’m gay or that I consider football to be more important right now. They’re not wrong.” Jude said. He wasn’t ashamed of being gay, but considering the job he did, he thought it best to continue to keep it to himself for now. Not everyone would be okay sharing a locker room with a gay guy and he could understand that. Besides, there were more important things going on right now. They had a World Cup match to win and Jude was confident they would. Especially now, he felt like this conversation had brought him and Harry closer.
“Thank you for confiding in me. I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Harry assured.
“Thank you for not looking at me any differently.” Jude responded.
“You’re the same person you were last night. I just know a little more about you.” Harry smiled. Jude had to give his captain a hug. He knew not everyone was going to be as accepting as his captain but it was a start. Jude wanted to be openly gay one day but today was not that day.