Archive of Our Own

Sakae Momijikawa was in trouble. He truly was idiot. He thought that for the about the fifth time that day.

Now this tall and dark boy was not in any real trouble. He wasn't in a battle of fists in a back alleyway or turf war. Rather, he was in a mental battle to keep his head and feelings in check.

His poor head was consumed of a certain black and white haired individual. Haruka Sakura. Any free time throughout the day always led his mind back to mismatched eyes and hair.

As level-headed Momijikawa seemed to everyone, he was actually quite pathetic. A lovesick puppy, if you will. He was just better at hiding it. His dark, serious eyes and known independence gave him that skill.

He had been walking home from the ended school day when, once again, his mind wandered to the boy who had steadily took ahold of Sakae Momijikawa's heart by its sharp edges.

They had really only known each other a short time. Almost too short. However, the impact Sakura had on him was more than he imagined would happen in his 16 years of life. 16 years that had weighed on him from years of loss and grief.

Momijikawa's pain was not cured by any means, but Haruka Sakura had helped ease the loneliness that had begun to settle into his bones. In fact, the boy seemed to put a new kind of ache into his chest. An ache Momijikawa was starting to accept as stubborn affection. He thought about what happened earlier that day and chuckled to himself.

Sakura was making Momijikawa laugh until his sides hurt. The boy had been prompted (baited) to do an impersonation of one of their mutual friends that was so bad it came off almost offensive. The taller boy kept laughing and trying to reassure the smaller one that it was actually not too bad, but couldn't even keep a straight face. Sakura was so angry and red that he stood, flung his empty bento at him, and started stomping away with a huff.

Momijikawa, still chuckling, quickly gathered both boxes and tried to catch up to the angry kitten. He always thought it was fun to tease him, but maybe he went too far this time so he felt bad enough to try to apologize. When he finally caught up to Sakura, he called out his name.

"Haruka!"

Sakura stopped in his tracks and hunched his shoulders. Slowly, he turned around and the sight made Momijikawa abruptly stop too. Sakura was not just making an angry face, but an angry pout was in full force. So red, so fierce, so cute.

Oh.

God he's trying to kill me, Momijikawa had thought.

"SHADDUP IDIOT!"

And with that, Sakura continued stomping away until Momijikawa was alone in the hall with his own face burning because he couldn't take how cute that sight was. He witnessed something he'd wished to keep himself forever, and only to himself. But he wasn't nearly as selfish as he could be.

Still smiling, he continued on the way home. He made a stop by the market to grab some quick groceries for dinner and next day's lunch. Recently, his grocery bill had begun to rise. All because he impulsively began making bento lunches and planned dinners for Sakura in addition to his own. Momijikawa didn't mind in the slightest though. He was perfectly happy to continue this newfound routine as long as it meant spending time with his favorite person.

At another mental image of Sakura's blushing scrunched face, it made Momijikawa smile. He couldn't get enough of that sickeningly adorable face, but he knew he shouldn't cross any lines to get a reaction like that. He felt even more pleased to earn it with considerate acts rather than too much teasing.

Today was a little different too. Sakura was coming over for dinner after he finished his patrol. That meant the two boys were to be alone for at least a couple hours. This made Momijikawa excited even if he were to never fully admit it. He had wanted Sakura to try a new dish he was planning to make.

Although he finally accepted he had strong feelings for Sakura, he was unsure of how to go about them. He knew they were friends now. If Sakura accepted, he would even consider themselves to be best friends. Accepting you like someone as more than a friend was different than acting on it. He knew that, of course. But doesn't every other teenager in the world struggle with adolescent romance?

Momijikawa jerked at the word "romance" and nearly tripped over his own feet. His could feel his ears warm at the crazy possibility of a chance of a romantic exchange with Sakura. He clenched the bags of food in his fists and hurried home trying to shake off the jittery butterflies in his stomach.

Later, there was the ring of his front door as he had finished washing the produce. He was just about to start chopping and prepping. Wiping his hands on a towel, he walked to answer to whoever was at the door. He figured it was probably a neighbor or a delivery of some sort.

Momijikawa opened the door quickly and his eyebrows rose in surprise to see Sakura standing in front of him. Sakura was still wearing his school uniform and looked distinctly uncomfortable while shifting on his feet like an anxious kitten. The poor boy still couldn't get used to knocking on a friend's door.

"Hey."

Finally, his surprise was over and Momijikawa replied,

"Hey. Whatcha doing here so early? Thought you had patrol."

Sakura tensed at the question and looked like he might burst out a defense but visibly stopped himself. His tense face relaxed ever so slightly into a pout. Momijikawa's chest clenched. How cute.

"Nothin'! Hiragi and Umemiya told me to take today off. Somethin' about getting rest or whatever. What the hell do they even mean?"

Just then, Momijikawa noticed the slight darkness under the shorter boy's eyes. Those eyes were startling killer, yet today they carried a subtle dimness. Sakura did seem tired. Not that he would comment on it, for fear of upsetting of this cat who was always on edge.

"Well, that's good timing. I was just about to start making dinner. Come on."

"Okay. Th-thanks."

Both boys entered the apartment. Momijikawa shut the door behind them and lead Sakura to the kitchen.

"Watcha makin'?"

"It's a surprise."

Sakura tsked and walked to sit at the dining table. He seemed to enjoy watching the taller boy work in the kitchen as of late. This made Momijikawa happy and anxious at the same time with his crush's attention on his every move. He was pretty confident in the kitchen, but to have such intense eyes focused on him made his fingers move a bit more twitchy. Not that Sakura noticed that part.

"You know you're more than welcome to watch TV or something."

He even didn't notice, with his back to the seated boy, a face scrunch up in annoyance.

"Somethin' wrong with me watchin' or what?"

Now beginning to start to heat up various pans and arranging his ingredients, Momijikawa chuckled.

"What?!"

"I didn't say that. You normally don't show up until I'm almost done cooking. I figured it'd get a little boring and it might take longer than usual."

There was a pause. A bashful voice answered behind,

"How's it boring? I just like watchin' so let me watch."

Momijikawa was glad he was turned away so the boy sitting across the table didn't see his ears burn or the small smile at that last comment. How happy it made him that Sakura liked to watch him even if it was just making food. He also knew from watching the other boy that they probably didn't really know how to work the TV anyway. But he preferred his own reasoning better.

"Suit yourself."

He finished whipping up the main entree and two simple side dishes. He was so focused on getting this new dish right that he almost feel didn't another pair of eyes on him. Almost. There was still a prickly sense on the back of his neck from being watched, and both remained quiet as he worked. He just wanted to make sure he made everything good enough for Sakura to enjoy.

"Help me set the table."

"Yeah, yeah."

With a quiet grumble, Sakura got up from his perched view and went to the dish rack where two sets of eatery remained now. There was a time when only one was being used before company began coming over on evenings like these. Often enough that it was normal now for said company to help with dinner such as setting the table and cleaning up afterwards.

After working together in unison, the two finally sat down to start their meal.

"Thanks for the food."

"Th-thanks for the food."

Momijikawa wasted no time on reaching for what was laid out in front of them, but he stopped when he noticed Sakura was eyeing the entree. Oh, yeah. He said it was a surprise, but did not mention it was a western dish.

"Come on. Try it. I have a feeling you'll like it."

"What is it? I ain't seen food like that. It smells different too."

Almost hurt by the abnormal hesitation to eat his cooking, Momijikawa tried to not let his tone slip. He decided to pull out the big guns in a petty attempt to get Sakura to eat the food.

"Can you please just try it? Please…Haruka?"

Immediately, Sakura's flummoxed face twisted into one of embarrassment. Rosy hues bloomed across the apples of his cheeks making Momijikawa's heart jump (even if he expected it). He figured this wasn't too much of a tease to stir the cat. No matter how often he used the boy's given name, each time earned him a reaction like this. He had been craving more and more of them every day.

"Wh-why-what the hell did ya say that for! I just asked what it was! Not that I wasn't gonna try it!"

Not even trying to stifle his chuckle or hide his smug grin, Momijikawa said,

"Dude, relax. It's called chili, I think. Don't quote me on the pronunciation. I saw it on a foreign cooking show once and it looked good so I made it. But it might be a little different than what it actually is."

All Sakura could do is look at the boy across from him in utter disbelief at the casual explanation. As if his name being said was not even part of it.

Taking a moment longer to glare, Sakura just reached out with chopsticks and pointed at a side dish he was also eyeing earlier.

"Okay. What's that?"

"Mac and cheese," then hesitantly, "With broccoli."

"Ma-mac and what? With broccoli?!"

Momijikawa could only laugh at Sakura's shifted focus from embarrassment to disgust at the mention of the vegetable. He knew he hated them, but he tried out that recipe when was by himself and figured a picky eater could like it enough too. It was pretty tasty and easy to make.

"Have you tried anything I made for that you didn't actually like?"

No answer. Just brewing chagrin.

"Come on. You'll love it. Just try some. After I worked so hard on this delicious meal, you're gonna hurt my pride as a cook, Haruka."

Sakura's blush returned to his pouting face just as quickly as it dissipated. Momijikawa earned himself (maybe with a little cheat) another reaction that made his chest clench again. He could watch the smaller boy's many expressions until a meteor hit Makochi at that instant and he'd die blissfully happy. He really would.

Taking a beat longer to soak in the flustered one, he finally said,

"The food's getting cold. Come on. Let's eat. You're gonna make me think I'm a bad cook."

At that, Sakura reached awkwardly for the mac and cheese and tried a small bite. Then his eyes widened as he was chewed. The vegetable hater lost the sworn battle in defying all vegetables.

Taking more, he shoveled more noodles into his mouth like he couldn't get enough of its gooey richness. Large hands slid the chili along the table slowly towards him that made him almost flinch. He took another small bite of the main dish with a spoon. Anyone in the room would have witnessed the sated bliss in the way his eyes shined and mouth moved with every chew. Momijikawa felt a surge of pride. He was smug that he could feed Sakura and have him satisfied.

"Heh. Told ya. Now eat."

"Bwhadeber."

The two ate together in silence. Not that it bothered either one. The quiet would have bothered them if they were in their own homes, alone. Lately, the quiet was a comfortable silence that soothed any remnants of loneliness. They felt each other's comforting presence without too many words or unnecessary talk.

Glancing to Sakura, Momijikawa smiled discreetly. Well, at least it looks like he knew how to make his friend happy with food.

Soon enough, the boys finished their meal with very little leftovers, as usual. Sakura had a tendency to really gorge himself if permitted to and it happened quite regularly in the Momijikawa household.

With a soft burp and a tap of his tummy, Sakura voiced his satisfaction,

"Whoa! That was great!"

Momijikawa tried not to let another smug grin escape as he leaned back in the chair, stomach full as well.

"Like I said. Told ya. I worked hard, you know."

For a few moments, Sakura didn't say anything. He looked down at his place as if thinking really hard which made the other boy wonder what was the matter. Then just as quickly at the question formed at on his lips, Sakura sat straight up rocking the table from the force. Another flush was working across his soft features, like a splash of paint on a canvas.

"Hey! I li-liked what you cooked today! I also like what you cook all the time! So-so please don't stop cooking! You ain't a bad…cook…so yeah. I like your cooking….Sakae," Sakura spouted out while keeping his gaze down at the table and his posture stiff.

That last part was spoken in a gruff squeak as if he barely registered what he was actually saying and it made his voice trail off. It appeared that earlier comment about feeling like a bad cook made Sakura think they had actually meant it and had worked up some courage to try to soften the self-deprecating jab.

Now it was Momijikawa's turn to blush. All he could do was stare, wide-eyed and frozen. His body had become rigid, his heartbeat pulsed faster, and that familiar churn in his chest returned. His ears and face began to burn hot at the sincere compliment he hadn't been fishing for and the use of his name that he hadn't expected.

Why the hell does Haruka Sakura have to be so goddamn good? How can someone be so cute while being so raw and honest?

Dammit.

Groaning and putting his hands over face in an attempt to hide his own blush, Momijikawa huffed out a weak laugh. He almost couldn't take it anymore. How could he keep his feelings under wraps if the very person he cares this much for was beginning to make him feel this special? It was almost cruel.

"H-hey! Why the hell aren't you sayin' anything?! It's weird not to say anything so say something! AND WHY ARE YOU HIDIN' YOUR FACE?!"

"Stop. Please."

"HUH? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN STOP?!"

"Please. I really can't take anymore. Give me a minute."

The yelling stopped and Sakura stared at the dark haired boy. The tick of the clock on the wall only hinted at how much time had passed before Momijikawa slowly released the grip on his own face and peeked through the tips of his fingers. He knew his face was as red as a tomato. He probably had a really stupid dopey appearance right now.

Sakura flinched upon seeing his friend's face, but he didn't tear his eyes from meeting dark hooded eyes. Matter of fact, his blush seemed to deepen even more. On Sakura's end, the look on Momijikawa's face gave his stomach unfamiliar butterflies and an unknown heat swirled in his chest. He had never seen such a funny expression on the stoic boy directed at him before.

Two sets of eyes stared at each other for what seemed like hours while only mere seconds ticked by. Neither one daring to look away. Like a territorial cat and dog crossing paths on a sidewalk. Will they flee or will they hiss and bark, hairs up on all ends?

Momijikawa watched Sakura's reaction as he lowered his hands into lap and kept his head slightly dipped. He watched an existing blush deepen down his neck under the smaller boy's shirt and uniform. He watched how a shadow of something passed through black and gold eyes. Something that he recognized in his own reflection nights after having spending time together. Because he could recognize that feeling he's been so desperately trying to keep to himself for weeks now.

That flash of something happened so quickly that he'd wondered if he had imagined it.

No. He didn't imagine it.

They've spent so much time together now that he was growing confident in reading Sakura's expressions. He liked to think he understood his friend more and more each time they hung out together.

So he also felt confident that what he saw in those eyes really could mirror his own.

Gathering himself on impulse, he leaned forward and rushed out,

"Haruka I-"

Vrring.

The sound of his front door began to ring. Both of them froze like they had been caught doing something wrong.

Vrring.

Vrrriiiing.

After the third ring, Momijikawa abruptly pushed his chair back and stood up. Sakura jumped at the sudden movement and looked up at the standing boy with wide eyes.

"I should…I should get that. Might be important."

"Er-sure."

So, he strode over to the door and swung it open at full force. A delivery man stood on the other side holding a small package. They had a look on their face that showed how annoyed they were having to ring the door more than once.

The two at the door exchanged formalities. One signing off for the package and the other barely offering a grumbled thanks, then the door shut again.

Momijikawa stood at the door, facing away from the room, and still holding the package in his hands. He couldn't even remember what was supposed to be inside it. What was he doing just a minute ago? Eating with Sakura? Right! He was just having a normal dinner with Sakura. Nothing weird happened.

He straightened his shoulders and turned around and walked back to the table where Sakura remained seated. Slightly dazed, Momijikawa placed the package on a counter and returned to his seat. Neither said a word or looked at each other. They sat and locked their gazes on the aftermath of their dinner. This was definitely not normal.

One awkward moment passed before Sakura decided to break the excruciating silence. Had they ever felt such awkwardness with each other before?

"Um…what were you gonna say just now?"

"What?"

"Before the door rang! I was wonderin' what you were gonna say. So spit it out!"

Momijikawa didn't answer right away, but when he did his voice came out quiet.

"Haruka. I like you."

It became so silent that only the hum of the refrigerator and a TV loudly playing from a nearby neighbor could be heard.

Realizing what he said was an impromptu confession, Momijikawa finally raised his head to look Sakura straight in the eyes. His dark eyes were determined but were shaky too. The words were not gonna stop from tumbling out of his already dry mouth.

"Look, Haruka. I like you. More than a friend. And I know this is insanely stupid because I know you don't feel the same way about me. I know that but..but…"

Taking a breath, more words came out,

"I still like you. I had to get it off my chest and I already feel guilty for loading this on you. You're my friend and saying this will probably ruin everything. I don't want to ruin anything so I do not expect anything from you. Don't feel bad, please. God! That would kill me if you felt bad because of me being stupid.

I've actually liked you for while now. I still don't know why I am still talking right now. I just couldn't take it anymore. So I'm sorry if this bothers you. Just ignore it all if you need to. If you need to leave right now and ignore me for the rest of the week, do it. Just…please don't ignore me forever."

Once finished, Momijikawa wanted to take a deep breath, but he couldn't help holding his breath. His ears were ringing and his palms were sweating as he clenched them into fists under the table. His could feel his face becoming pale as his blood was thumping so loud and grew cold. What the hell was he thinking? Why the hell would he say all that stuff to Sakura?

He doesn't want to ruin anything, but listen to what he just said. How could Sakura not be appalled at his behavior and confession right now?

Panicking lurid thoughts kept circling in his head, forcing his eyes to shift out of focus on the person in front of him. He couldn't begin to process that the person pushed back their own chair and was walking around the table to his side. All he could perceive was that he no longer seeing tufts of black and white in his line of view.

Smack!

He thought he heard the sound of a hand to the back of his skull before he felt it. He startled and immediately jumped back, instinctively positioning his body that resembled a defensive stance. As best as one could sitting down. Then he snapped his neck at the aggressor with his eyes wider than they had ever been. Did someone just smack his head?

"You IDIOT! Breathe!"

Almost like his body was not his own, his chest relaxed and he gasped a gust of air at the command. He took some struggling breaths that helped the tension loosen a little in his head. He really had been holding his breath for longer than his mind and body realized. He could feel a sharp pain in his chest. He wasn't sure if that was simply because of him forgetting to breathe.

After his breathing slowed enough to confirm he was okay, he spoke,

"Sorry. I-I don't know what happened."

Convinced Momijikawa was no longer dying, Sakura didn't say anything. He just stepped back around the table and sat again.

"Oi."

Momijikawa didn't dare look up after that embarrassing display of physical weakness. What kinda freaking idiot forgets to breathe?

"Hey! Look at me!"

Resigned to his doomed fate, Momijikawa finally lifted his head and looked at Sakura again. This time his breath got caught in his throat at what he saw.

Sakura was smiling at him. A soft smile that didn't quite match the unreadable look in his eyes. Not too mention the soft but glowing blush across each cheek and ear. There couldn't have ever been a smile so painfully reassuring. So beautiful and shattering.Momijikawa could feel this world he carefully built with Sakura in his empty home begin to shatter. It looked so much like the smile that day on the bridge after being chased around holding his grandmother. Yet, it seemed to hide something else.

He could feel the fight between his head and heart become brutal.

For what felt like years, he spent so many nights trying not to imagine what kind of face his friend's face would look like if he ever felt the courage to confess. He tried not to spend every moment of his free time inviting them out because he had because he wanted to be near them. He tried not to think about how wonderfully domestic and familiar it was for them to come over for dinner and talk, catching up on anything related to Furin or the town of Makochi.

He tried not to think too much of how every time they came too close to his face, his body reacted at the proximity. He tried not to think about how long their lashes were. He tried not to think about how soft their split colored hair looked when it rustled in the wind. He tried not too think about how cute their pout could be. He also tried not to think about how amazing their rare smile could be.

He even tried not to think about how genuine his friend was when stammering out compliments. He tried not to think how kind they were even when they pretended they weren't. He really tried not to think about how admirable he was as a fighter with how forceful and honest their fists spoke to their opponent.

He didn't want to think about it because he was close to the point where his heart could break any given moment. And it was to be his own doing. He was indeed an idiot.

"Sakae."

Stunned out of his dazed, he snapped his attention on the boy who was about to deliver the blow. He jutted a tiny nod to encourage the other to go on. Although very reluctantly, Sakura went on.

"What- what do you mean you like me? What do you mean more than a f-friend?"

Huh?

Momijikawa furrowed his brows in confusion. He was pretty sure that his confession made the implication perfectly clear. Did Sakura not understand? No. He definitely should. It was known among few Furin students that the jumpy boy had received at least one confession of love since the start of the year from someone outside of school. Or had that been idle talk? He'd hoped it was rumors since he didn't know any details himself (and was also too scared to ask Sakura about it directly).

Without really meaning to, he blurted out,

""Uhh. I mean I like you. It means that I see you as more than just a friend. It means I want to be closer than just a normal friend. Do you not get that?"

Now Sakura was back to wearing another blush. Who knew blushing could come in so many rosy shades?

"Gah! Yes! I just wanna make sure I'm not being stupid! I just wanna make sure that's what it is! Why does everyone have to be so- so- so CONFUSING?!"

Another full awkward silence.

"Haruka…I like you."

Now Momijikawa did not believe for a moment that Sakura would reciprocate his feelings. He believed his own feelings were a thing to be swallowed. And swallowed he did. He swallowed them down until he could feel them jerk his insides with longing and want every time he looked at Sakura. They rolled and tumbled so much that he swore could feel himself turning into that Hiragi guy.

Every time Sakura greeted him, he let his attention ignore everyone else. Every time Sakura looked into his eyes, he felt his stomach flip. Every time they sparred, each unexpected move sent a rush of adrenaline through him. Even when they didn't spar and brushed arms or shoulders, then he swore he could remember each touch linger heat through his clothes. Every time they had dinner together, he wanted to suggest a sleepover. Just a couple hours were not enough. He knew that Sakura was not used to affections like most people, not until recently from what he had gathered.

He was just glad he had a friend that could deeply understand what he was going through, especially when his grandmother had passed since she really had the last go. Sick twists of fate kept taking his family away from him. He was so angry for so long, it was making his heart blister and healing didn't seem to be in the cards for him.

Until, over time, Bofurin taught him it's okay to be angry, but he wasn't alone anymore. It's okay to rely on classmates and friends. His time before Sakura had amounted to the worst chapter of his life. Bofurin had brought him schoolmates who cared and Haruka Sakura. The boy he despised upon meeting, and as fate would have it, the boy became one of the most important people he'd quickly grown fond of.

Then one day while eating lunch on an empty stairwell, a hot splash of realization came. What he'd been feeling for Sakura went beyond friendship. He wanted to close the gap as friends to something more. He realized he was utterly in love. He'd felt the urge to reach out and brush his fingers along the face or hug the smaller boy's body. Those urges had yet been fulfilled though.

He'd always thought Sakura was a looker (even when he thought he hated the guy). Lean physique, long lashes, marbled eyes, and soft features that anyone could tell would grow more sharp and more defined over time. He also knew that it wasn't a secret that a good amount of Makochi thought Sakura was "pretty" after having met the famous teenager of Bofurin High during patrols.

Momijikawa had begun to think Sakura was cute when he blushed or pouted, and even cuter when it was both at the same time. He thought Sakura was the most cute when he smiled, but that didn't happen as often as the latter. Then he'd wanted to try to make Sakura more, which proved to be a harder feat than he originally thought.

He hadn't expected for anything else to happen between them. He was happy enough to have such an admirable friend. He didn't want to ruin anything. Yet, here they were, Momijikawa confessing like an idiot with nothing but a sullen look on his face and clenched fists. What good could come of this other than a punch flying to the face and a knife to his heart?

Without warning and barely above a whisper, Sakura finally spoke,

"I…I like you too."

The world stopped. All previous sounds in the quiet had ceased to exist. All responsibilities like clearing the table and doing the dishes were swept away. Every frantic thought were erased from Momijikawa's head. All he could think was Sakura, or rather, Haruka.

SakuraSakuraHarukaHaruka…

Momijikawa was not expecting this response. He had braced himself for immediate rejection and awkward encounters in the days ahead. Had Sakura really said that? Did the words he so desperately wished for come out of that pretty mouth?

"Say it again, Haruka."

Sakura squeaked, actually squeaked,

"What?!"

"Say it again. Say those words again. Please. I'm begging you."

With hesitation like he had his heart in throat, Sakura did.

"I like you, too… Momijikawa Sakae."

What happened next something out of a dream.

Momijikawa pushed out of his chair and in two steps was at Sakura's side, who had jumped and then froze when he realized where the taller boy stood. Looking down, Momijikawa reached out and used his left hand to tilt Sakura's head up at him. Wide eyes met his own.

Then without even thinking, Momijikawa leaned way down and stopped his face just short of Sakura's. He could feel the heat of their face against his skin. Maybe it was his own heat too.

"Stop me if you hate it."

Then without waiting for a reply, he gently placed his lips onto Sakura's and closed his eyes. He could feel the heat and softness of the flesh on his own mouth. He pressed, and did not move, waiting for a protest or to be shoved away. Neither happened, but he could feel Sakura's body tense up. Then felt his body move under his hand that was still gently holding his jaw. It moved, a bit jerky, like it had turned its position to face him.

Momijikawa took that as answer enough and pushed down a bit harder. He moved his mouth ever so slightly and felt a zing of heat when he aligned their lips more snugly. Then he moved and tilted his head which sent another zing at the change of angle.

Then he pulled back, just enough to look at Sakura since he hadn't felt him move at all. He looked down and nearly choked. Sakura was a blushing mess, eyes still open, but dazed. His mouth parted slightly and eyes that read equal bewilderment and shock.

"Please tell me to stop if you want. I've wanted to do that for weeks now."

Sakura only shook his head and glanced his eyes to Momijikawa's lips so quick that he thought he had imagined it.

"I-you-I-"

Suddenly aware, Momijikawa started to pull his hand away from his face when Sakura reached up quickly and grabbed his wrist. They both froze and looked at their connecting arms. Then Sakura murmured,

"Y-you- I never said stop."

Shyly, he looked up and Momijikawa's heart and stomach did a jump. Peering up through lashes like those with a look like that could be enough to kill any man.

"Okay."

With another dip down, Momijikawa met Sakura's lips once again. This time with more pressure, but still a bit uncertain. Even so, he kept kissing and continued cupping the other's jaw. Their breaths mingled and their shared warmth was unfamiliar yet intoxicating. He felt Sakura relax just a bit under his hand, yet something was off.

Their necks had to be hurting at this weird angle. An already tall boy leaning down to kiss a seated one with his neck arched up and up was probably not the best way to keep kissing.

After a few seconds, Momijikawa broke the kiss with heavy breathing as much as he didn't want to.

"Maybe-maybe we should move somewhere else."

This time, Sakura was more embarrassed than entranced. His face resembled something like being caught dancing alone in public. This made Momijikawa want to gobble him up and leaned down again but a hand stopped him mid-air.

"Maybe we-we should clean up first!"

Then Sakura moved both hands and shoved Momijikawa away and stood up and turned. He began grabbing empty bowls and cups. With his hands full, he walked to to the sink and began washing the dishes without looking back once. He was fully washing the dishes without scraping the food off and without any soap like a flustered idiot. Anyone could see the steam swirling off his little head.

With his mouth agape and a bemused glint in his eyes, Momijikawa shook off his initial shock and just began grabbing the rest of the bowls and utensils. He went over to the sink next to Sakura, dropped the dishes, and turned off the running water. Then he grabbed hands that were moving mid scrub (still no soap) and turned Sakura's body fully to him.

What he did just now may have been way too bold for this first encounter. As much as he could hear his heart beating loudly from the kisses, he felt his morale take over the sound of it. He needed to make sure he didn't push Sakura too far and that he didn't mess up by jumping into a kiss so fast. It's just that he was so happy to hear the words "I like you" that his body reacted on its own. It was not an excuse if it made Sakura uncomfortable in any way though. He needed to fix this.

"Hey…look at me. Did I go too far?"

Sakura didn't answer and tried tugging his hands out of its grip, but they stay grasped tightly.

"Sakura. I need you to tell me if what I just did was a dumb mistake. Otherwise, I really don't know what to do if what I did just made you uncomfortable. Please."

No longer struggling to remove his hands, Sakura just froze in place. It was unusual for someone like Sakura to go so quiet. He usually had a rebuttal of some sort since he was just too easy to get a rise out of. So to hear no words coming back at him, Momijikawa felt his heart lurch with fear. Did he really go too far?

What if Sakura takes back his words and rejects him for real?

What if Sakura decides that Sakae was a creep and leave him as a friend for good?

It seemed like the poor lovestruck boy was having a racket of panicked questions all day and evening.

Jus then, like he had been awakened from the dead, Sakura ripped his hands away and clutched them at his sides. His face was still undoubtedly red and he would not meet eyes. But what he spoke was just as unexpected as the his own confession.

"I ain't sayin' that it made me uncomfortable. Don't we have to clean up b-before we… anythin'…else…?"

Shocked at the admission, Momijikawa felt like the sky cracked open and stars began pooling into his heart by pocketfuls. Heart shaped stars, if there was such a thing (there wasn't). He would've hated to see the look on his face with how unbelievably happy he was. It was beyond endearing that the only reason Sakura stopped their kiss was because he felt compelled to not leave a mess.

He didn't want to make Sakura anymore embarrassed or anxious than he was right now. So he cleared his throat dramatically.

"Ahem. Yeah. I guess you're right. Good idea."

So the two cleaned. It was the most natural thing in the world to do after such a gawky first time experience. Though, neither boy minded. They flinched when their fingers brushed at a pass of a bowl, but they also didn't pull away. Hands poured soap, for real this time, and two sets of shaky hands scrubbed, rinsed, and dishes were placed onto a rack.

Momijikawa dried his hands with a towel and a fleeting idea popped into his head. He grabbed Sakura's damp hands and began drying them ever so gently. He was nervous he might scare the cat off, but he continued the task. Sakura stammered protest, but ultimately let his hands be dried.

When he was done, Momijikawa gently released their hands and placed the towel on the counter. They stood facing each other, hands at their sides, both unsure of what to say or do next.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you again?"

Sakura, still stiff as a board, nodded his head. He did say they should clean up first after all.

So Momijikawa stepped closer, making Sakura's breath catch, and lifted his arm. He reached out again to touch the smaller boy's ruddy face and cupped his jaw. He brushed his fingers against his ears and thumb across a soft warm cheek. He had wanted to do that for who knows how long. Maybe since that day on the stairwell. Maybe sooner.

Sakura trembled under his touch. He had never been touched like this before. It was such new territory that all he wanted to do was jump back and flee from the apartment. But he stayed put. The touches from Momijikawa's fingers shot through his body to his toes.

The bigger boy inched closer. Sakura shut his eyes closed and braced himself for contact. He didn't feel a mouth pressing against his own. He felt long arms wrap around his shoulders and grab him into a hug. His eyes flew open in.

"Wha-what are you doin?!"

Momijikawa only pulled Sakura closer. Their bodies flush and their clothes rumbled. Sakura could feel their heartbeats through the fabric. In both their heads, they were wondering if the other could hear how fast and loud it was.

Pushing his face down to Sakura's shoulder, he mumbled,

"I've wanted to do this longer than just kissing you."

Momijikawa swore he could the temperature of the body he was holding go up at least ten degrees. This made him squeeze tighter. He did want to kiss Sakura. He spent many late nights fantasizing about what it would be like, although, the guilt in the morning always made him cringe.

He held Sakura like it was the most instinctive thing. He's wanted to give Sakura a hug ever since he'd learned about his past. The depth in which they could understand each other made him want to cling like a child. Instead, they fought in the water bank. That was all they knew. A conversation between fists.

As the sun had already set outside a quiet apartment, and tangible memories of his grandmother still placed around the home, he felt like his most kept secret and wish begin to come true.

Sakura had gotten used to physical touch and friendly affection from classmates and leaders at school. Momijikawa had witnessed a few times where he could see a hissing cat be dragged along by the arm or crushed in a head-locked hug. He could see the exasperation, but also the faintest of smiles quirk on a frowning face.

He wished he could hug Sakura like that, or at the very least, pull an arm close as they walked together down the halls. Momijikawa felt that it was too out of character for someone as aloof as he was to do such a thing at school.

But now they were alone, embracing.

Wait. They're both embracing?

Indeed. Sakura had place his hands onto Momijikawa's lower sides at some point. His hands were barely gripping the t-shirt and there was still lots of space between torso and hand, but it seemed Sakura was truly hugging the taller boy back.

Momijikawa head was rushing as he hugged Sakura tight. They stayed like that for a while.

Then he reluctantly pulled away, but Sakura's grip tightened. Momijikawa felt his eyes widen. Sakura seemed to want to keep doing it, so he pulled the t-shirt and wrapped his own arms under and across a broad back. He could feel the hard muscle under the fabric.

Sakura clutched even harder this time and buried his face into Momijikawa's chest and shoulder. Like he was trying to crawl into his body and hide away from the shame.

If someone had the inkling from the street outside to look through past the uncovered glass, they would catch a blurry silhouette of two figures embracing.

They held onto each other like it was the only thing keeping them stay upright. The rest of the world be damned. It felt so right and so new.

After minutes of standing,Momijikawa felt himself become uncomfortably warm. He was beginning to sweat under his clothes. He didn't want to let go of Sakura, but he felt it was okay to pull away. He knew the both of them weren't exactly used to such intimate hugs.

He removed himself slowly, gently, and brought his hands up to Sakura's face. Sakura looked up at him with unsettled earnest, and of course, his eyebrows scrunched into an amusing frown. Momijikawa could probably stare at that pretty face forever. He even wanted squish those soft cheeks, but he digressed.

"What are you thinking about to make that face, huh?"

"What the hell? What face?"

Momijikawa threw his head back and laughed. Sakura sure was funny since he was so oblivious at how easy he was to read.

"WHAT?"

"Hehe. Nothing. I just didn't know what to expect," he said, "I mean, that was my first kiss, you know."

Sakura grimaced, fully grimaced.

"DON'T GO JUST SAYING KI-KI- THAT WORD!"

"We did kiss. And if I'm being honest, I wanna do it again. But I don't wanna overwhelm you. And that doesn't mean you need to kiss me to win this just so you know."

"I AIN'T TRYIN' TO DO IT AGAIN!"

Momijikawa couldn't help but accept the incredulous retort. He wouldn't do anything else Sakura wasn't comfortable with. He already pushed his luck with that first kiss.

Smiling, he replied,

"Alright, alright. I'm not gonna do anything else to you. Take it easy. Just…just let me hold you again."

He still held Sakura's face in his hands, noticeably larger than the petite head. Sakura's head was smaller than he realized. What a charming new discovery. He suppressed another urge to squish those cheeks again.

"Fine."

Happy with the answer, Momijikawa went back in for another hug. This time he fully wrapped his long arms all the way around, bear hugging without any reluctance. Sakura was totally entrapped with his head puzzled into the crook of Momijikawa's neck and his own arms were squished between their bodies. He clenched the fabric in fists between them.

They both sighed at the same time. Then they left both laughed. The rumble of the sound was overwhelmingly sweet in the room.

Momijikawa still felt a little nervous, but he was glad the previous tension from dinner was almost gone. He was so happy.

He wanted to sit down with Sakura and have a proper talk. He wanted to ask so many questions. Like when had Sakura realized he felt the same. Or if anyone else knew. Or if it was true that he had received another love confession outside of school. Wait, no. He actually didn't want to hear about that.

More importantly, he wanted to properly ask Sakura out. He had never done so before in his life nor had he ever been asked out. He felt it was pretty embarrassing, but he wanted to be as communicative as possible. He needed to work on that some more too.

For tonight, Momijikawa felt this was more than enough to end the night on. It was already getting late as he glanced at the clock. He still planned to prepare bentos for them.

A deep sigh escaped him. Sakura stiffened and pulled his body back clearly trying while trying not to break the hug. His face contorted into another frown.

"What? You don't wanna anymore?"

"Sorry. Did it come off like that? No. I'm actually really happy we're like this right now."

Momijikawa paused then continued,

"If you really wanna know, I actually really wanna kiss you til you can't breathe. But that's out of the question. I'm just thinking about the food I still gotta make for a big-eater that will not be named."

Sakura's ears tinged pink. How could someone casually say such weird things?

"I never asked you to make 'em you know! And I never said that we should sto-"

Momijikawa raised an eyebrow.

"I never said we couldn't," Sakura pouted.

Yup he's trying to kill me, Momijikawa thought.

"If you keep saying things like that, I really will do it. Don't be stupid with your words."

"WHO'RE CALLING STUPI-mmph!"

Momijikawa rudely interrupted the exasperated boy with a sudden kiss. He moved his hands down to Sakura's waist. They fit so perfectly into the subtle arch of his lower back, it made the both of them blush at the intimate touch.

His lips moved and he felt Sakura's own mouth begin to do the same. He pulled him closer, making Sakura lean further back and arching his neck pretty high.

Their kisses were chaste, and merely mirrored what they felt was right. They're wasn't much fervor in them, but it was still stirring curiosity as their lips explored.

Suddenly, Sakura parted his mouth and hot breath passed between them. Momijikawa groaned lightly and parted his own mouth. They shared an open mouth kiss until Momijikawa pushed his tongue out.

He cautiously tested the waters by pushing his tongue to taste Sakura. He tasted the slight tang of the chili and something else. Something that was distinctly Sakura.

Sakura almost jolted at the intruder on his lips, but he heard Momijikawa groaning and all could he want was to hear it again. So he bravely did the same and pushed his tongue out to meet Momijikawa's.

They both groaned at the unfamiliar sensation. It was warm and damp, yet the heat building between grew more wanting. They both pressed their tongues together.

Momijikawa thought he really was seeing stars. The feel of Sakura, the kissing, the feel of his waist, and now their tongues. It was almost too much to process.

Their kisses grew wet as they explored the inside of their mouths. Sakura could feel the graze of teeth at the tip his tongue and trembled. Momijikawa felt the warmness in Sakura's mouth and groaned again.

Finally, they came up for air. Their ears were filled with sound of heavy breathing. Momijikawa looked down and saw Sakura dazed and mouth glistening. He felt hot all over. He was sure he looked the same, just not as cute.

"That was-that was incredible."

Sakura, still dazed, just stared up with heavy lidded eyes.

"Can we try it again?"

Momijikawa didn't waste any time to swallow down some air and lower his head one more time. He would be beyond stupid to ignore such a request from the boy who held his hear in their hands.

They kissed like that in the kitchen until the apartment became even darker as night began to fall. There was a dog barking and a cat mewing in the distance.

Afterwards, when Sakura finally couldn't take anymore and Momijikawa began to worry he wouldn't control himself, they said their goodbyes. They agreed to talk the next day after school. Away from their nosy classmates and scrutinizing friends.

Momijikawa shut the door and slammed his forehead into the cool metal. He clenched his fists and jaw. The fresh memory and lingering sensation of Sakura was replaying over and over. All he could think was how soft, warm, and sweet Sakura was. He couldn't believe that Sakura admitted to liking him back.

He wasn't sure what the future held for them. He definitely didn't want to jump into anything too crazy since neither were comfortable with romance yet. Momijikawa blushed. He hoped they can be a proper couple after they talked tomorrow. He would even keep it a secret if Sakura wanted to keep the school from sucking their social battery dry for details of what happened between. He groaned in annoyance at that.

He slammed his head one more time before he decided he needed to take a bath. Overthinking right now was not gonna give him any answers. That would wait until tomorrow.

As padded into the bathroom, his brain produced another memory of Sakura trembling under his hands. Maybe a cold bath then.

He would stay up to finish their lunches. It looked like Momijikawa was not gonna get any sleep anyways as Sakura swirled around in his head.

He definitely was an idiot. Momijikawa thought as he started the bath.