Chapter Text

His horse stopped. Ears fell flat at the back of her neck, John knew at that moment that something was very wrong. Berry was a very brave horse and didn’t get scared easily. John tried to calm Berry down and turn her around. That’s when he heard it…

Howling.

And by the sound of it a lot of wolves. 

John was caught off guard when Berry started galloping at full speed. He hadn’t managed to get his balance back, so when his horse took a sharp left turn John fell down with a loud yell. 

Berry didn’t stop to get back to her fallen rider and kept running away with at least seven wolves chasing after her. John was about to get up when another wolf straight up jumped at him, making him fall back to the cold snow. The wolf's sharp claws came up to his face and started tearing the skin apart. He could feel blood dripping from his new wounds. John knew he needed to move fast or he would be as good as dead. He tried to shield his face with one arm while the other searched for one of his weapons in his gun belt.

Finally John found his knife just as the wolf jaws found his neck. He could feel sharp teeth digging into his flesh. His vision began to fill with dark dots from the pain, for a moment John was sure this was the end for him. As a last effort before his death, John raised the knife and with all his strength stabbed the wolf on the neck making it jump back in pain. Taking advantage of this short time, John quickly grabbed his revolver and shot the wolf which was about to attack him again. The wolf let out a painful howl and collapsed next to John in the snow. 

John let out a ragged breath. The blood and snow mixed together making his face burn like hell. He needed to move fast before those wolves came back for him. John knew that, of course he knew, but it was hard to move when half his face got eaten by a wolf and there's blood on his face making him barely able to see anything.

Slowly John managed to pull himself up from the cold snowy ground and limped away from the wolf's corpse. After some time of walking John found a nice ledge, it was covered from the wind and was hopeful no wolf was nearby. He was tired and freezing. John was sure that if someone didn't come looking for him he would die on this mountain. He sat down and pulled his knees up to his chest, trying to stay as warm as possible. John could feel as the darkness pulled him in, he tried to fight it, if he passed out now he would surely die. With those thoughts John slowly fell asleep against his will.

He is woken up by a gunshot, he puts all his remaining strength to shout, to call for help while he's hoping that a gang member will find him and not some starving animal.

“Hey! Help! Here!”

Javier sat in one of the cabins with the ladies, Hosea and little Jack. It’s been a hard few days since they fled Blackwater. Up in the snowy mountains, they lost some members too. Dutch sent Micah and John to scout the area, when Micah came back, he reported that he found a homestead a little up north with the lights on and some yelling coming from the inside. Dutch, Micah and Arthur went looking and they came back with another Lady: Sadie Adler. Poor soul just lost her husband and now home too.

Javier sat while smoking a cigar, not really listening to the conversation the girls are having. But some words caught his attention. They’re talking about John, more like Abigail talking about John while Tilly and Mary Beth are listening. John hasn't come back for two days, Javier has to admit it’s quite worrying.  

“He ain’t been seen in days. The weather ain’t let up.” Abigail says. She’s right to worry, the weather has been shit for most of the time.

“He’s strong and he’s smart.” Tilly tries to cheer her up or comfort her but sadly, to no avail.

“Strong at least.” Abigail says bitterly, Javier knows that despite having a child their relationship isn’t the best. He can’t imagine how hurt Abigail must have felt by John's stupid actions and words. The next moment the door of the cabin opened and Athur walked in, carrying some dry logs for the fire. Abigail noticed him and greeted him with a small smile.

“Hello, Arthur.”

“Abigail.”

“Arthur, how you doing?” Abigail asked the man. Javier thinks she wants to ask him a favour, and by her previous conversation it’s about John.

“Just fine, Abigail, and you?” 

“I need you to…I’m sorry, I’m sorry to ask but… “ Abigail starts but her words fail her and she’s interrupted by Arthur as he rolls his eyes in annoyance. 

“It’s little Johnny, he’s got himself caught into a scrape again.” he says. Javier can basically feel the venom in his voice. He’s still mad about that one year leave John pulled on them. 

“He ain’t been seen in two days.” Abigail tries to reason with him again.  

“Your John’ll be fine. I mean he may be as dumb as rocks and as dull as rusted iron, but that ain’t changing because he got caught in some snowstorm.” He's about to turn around and head out of the cabin when Hosea speaks up and stops him.

“At least go take a look. Javier?” Despite all his mistakes, the old man still cares about John deeply. Javier turns to face him and asks.

“Yes?”

“Javier, will you ride out with Arthur to take a look for John? You’re the two best fit men we’ve got.”

“Now?” Javier asks, he hates the snow. It’s cold and he can feel the freezing in his bones.

“She’s…we’re all pretty worried about him.” Hosea says calmly but Javier can hear there is no room for arguing about that with him, they need John back.

“I know if the situation were reversed, he’d look for me.” Javier says while putting out his cigar. He stands and starts walking toward the door with Arthur. 

“Thank you.” Abigail says one last time to them, then the doors shut and they’re walking in the snow to their horses. Javier can tell Arthur is not happy about them going on a search for John, he basically mumbling curse after curse the whole time they saddle up their horses. 

“This way. Last I know, John was headed up the river.”

“For all we know, he kept riding north and never looked back.”

“He wouldn’t leave. Not like that.” Javier tries to reason.

“Well, wouldn’t be the first time.” 

After that neither of them spoke much, they kept riding in silence. They managed to find a camp, possibly John’s. The snow made everything slippery and it was very dangerous. At some point they lost the tracks, they were about to give up and head back to the others when Javier spotted something in the snow. 

“Hey, look. Over there, you see that?” Javier said and both of them started riding toward the thing. As they got closer it looked like some kind of dead animal. It was only clear what animal when they were right next to the corpse. It was a horse.

“John was riding that horse when we left Blackwater. Let’s see if he can hear us.” Javier said as he pulled out his revolver and fired a shot. Not long after someone answered them.

“Hey! Help! Here!”

“It’s John, let’s go!”

They found John, he was alive but barely. Half his face was covered in blood and wounds. Javier was afraid to think about the possibility that if they were late John would have probably died from hypothermia. When they were riding back a few wolves attacked them. Arthur shot them and they quickly fled the place.

When they get back to the little mining town they are currently staying in,  Abigail and Bill help John down from Boaz. They carried him to one of the cabins and put him down on a bed.  Javier hoped John would make it, they couldn’t afford losing another man. He can’t imagine the pain Abigail would feel if John died. Javier led Boaz to the stable and took the saddle down and gave him some carrot. He really liked this horse, Boaz was a fine and brave horse. They have been together since Javier fled Mexico. 

Javier went to check on John, maybe talk to him if he’s doing better. When he opened the door to the cabin John and the womens were in, the smell of alcohol immediately hit Javier. Abigail was treating John’s wounds while the said man looked to be unconscious. Javier stepped closed, standing next to Abigail. 

“How he’s doing, will he make it?” Javier asks.

“He’s a stubborn man, he will be fine if he doesn’t catch any infection.” Abigail answers sadly and a bit bitterly. She’s angry, Javier thinks. 

“What if he does catch?” Javier asks.

Abigail is silent for a moment, then looks up at the man and with a serious tone she says.

“Let’s hope he doesn’t.”

They sat together in silence next to John’s side. Neither of them speak as they think about the possibility that maybe they will lose another gang member. No, Javier shakes his head, John will make it. He stands up and says goodbye to Abigail and walks out of the cabin. Once he’s out of the cabin the freezing air immediately hits him sending down shivers in his spine. As he walks to another cabin where his room is located, Javier hears Pearson and Arthur discuss their food supplies running low. 

“We have a few cans of food and some rabbit, for what ten, twelve people?” Pearsons says and Javier could hear Arthur hum in agreement. 

“I sent Bill and Lenny hunting and they found nothing.” Pearson complains. Javier can admit their food supplies are too low for them to survive in this weather. The snowstorm is harsh and they already lost some people to it. While Javier was thinking, Charles went up to the other two men after hearing their conversation. 

“Enough of this, we will find something. Come on Arthur.” Charles says, leaving no room for any argument. Javier hears them walking toward the exit so he quickly walks away, he doesn’t want them to think he eavesdropped. 

When Arthur and Charles came back two deer were stored on their horses' backs. Javier ,for the first time since they came up the mountains, felt happy. Maybe everything will be fine, Charles a good hunter, Javier reminds himself. That evening the whole camp could eat and finally they go to sleep with a full stomach. 

That night Javier couldn' t sleep, he kept thinking about the what ifs. What if John dies, Abigail would be devastated. He wasn’t sure where his worries came from. Probably the sad sight of Abigail trying to clean John’s wounds and make his life less miserable. Or maybe because Bill snores like a dying elephant.

Dutch has a plan, that’s the first thing Javier hears in the morning. He wants to take out a camp full of O’driscolls. Javier doesn’t know where he got the information but whatever. Dutch is Dutch, he always has a plan. So the next thing Javier knows is they are preparing for battle. Javier, Arthur, Dutch, Micah, Charles and Lenny ride away from the little mining town armed and ready to shoot some O’driscolls.

They rode for a while and Javier started to shiver from the cold wind. He really hoped Dutch would soon stop before Javier froze to the saddle. The gods must have heard his prayers from above because about two more minutes of riding Dutch finally told them that they’re here. They walked up a small hill to take a better look at the camp. Javier pulled out his binocular and scanned the place in front of him. 

“Dutch, there’s at least twenty O’driscoll scum down here. What’s the plan?” Javier said, giving the information to their leader. Dutch seemed to think about it for a moment, then as if a light flickered above his head he figured out a plan.

“We get closer, maybe take down some silently if we can, then shoot the rest. Ain’t no one here to hear it so don’t be afraid to make some noise. After we finished with the O’driscolls we search the place for some valuable items.”

Everyone got in position and slowly walked toward the camp, making as little noise as they could. As they got closer Javier and the others quickly hid behind some wooden plank and waited for some signal, so they could start shooting, from Dutch and Arthur. 

The sound of a pistol shooting could be heard in the winter air and after that a body dropped to the snow. The fight began and Javier had to move quickly out of a bullet's way or he might have lost his head. There were a lot of O’driscolls, Javier already counted at least twenty and more kept coming from the woods. If they didn’t put an end to this they might lose some man they can’t afford. Javier slowly made his way toward Dutch and Arthur. He wasn’t sure they’ll win this time. 

“Dutch! There’s too many of them, we need to pull back.” Javier said and shoot a man who tried to get behind Arthur.

“No, we can take them. I have a good feeling about this. Watch out, more coming from the woods!” Javier sighed heavily, of course Dutch wouldn’t pull back. He always has a ‘plan’.

Finally the fight seemed to come to an end with the O’driscolls retreating. Javier quickly looked around then relaxed a little. Everyone’s alive, they haven’t lost any man. It’s pure luck really, nothing to do with Dutch’s awesome plans. 

“Back to camp, we’ll get what we need and clear out.” Dutch voice could be heard. Javier moved to loot some fallen man. He found some ammo and tonics. As he walked back to the others he heard Arthur whistle in surprise. He looked over and saw Arthur handing Bill some dynamite and walked there to help them pack it up faster. 

“Did we get everything?” Dutch asks as they regroup. Javier could see Micah looking all proud of himself as he walks to Dutch and hands him, what looks to be, a map.

“Found this on one of them boys.”

“Oh yes, this is interesting. Something about a train they was gonna rob. Alright, mount back up and let’s keep moving.” Dutch said and all of them were on horseback in a moment. 

As they rode back to camp Javier’s mind kept going back to John. He hasn’t seen the man since they got him back. He heard as Abigail talked about him that he had a fever and wasn’t up much. Javier hated to admit it, but he was worried about John. His mind kept coming back to the state they found him. He made a promise to himself he’ll visit John when he gets back to camp. 

Dutch’s yells lead Javier back to reality. In front of them was a man. He must be one of the O’driscolls who ran into the trees. Arthur gives chase after the man, lasso ready in hand. Javier could see the man on a horse trying to run away but Arthur seemed to catch up to him. He lost sight of them after a quick turn in the snowy road. Javier and the others rode back to camp with Dutch leading them. 

As Javier got off Boaz, he heard one of the cabin door open behind him. He turned around and was facing with an angry Abigail. She hasn’t noticed them yet cause she kept cursing John, how stupid he is that he got eaten by wolves. It’s time to face John, Javier sighed heavily and opened the door of the cabin.