Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Re Al. Madrid. He was still so young when he left the country, alone, a child at fourteen with just his manager to explore the unfamiliar, culturally different, large expanse of a new world, hours and kilometers away from home. He rustled his hands in the pockets of the coat he wore, the temperatures were only to continue dropping, and there was possible snow as the white clouds hung overhead. His short bangs fell over his forehead, his red hair making contact with the cafe window as he leaned his head into the freezing surface; at the same time his hands dug impossibly deeper into the pockets of his coat as he released a long sigh. Dabadie was over near the counter, grabbing drinks for the both of them. It was an adjustment, learning a new language, making the necessary cultural adjustments, navigating an entirely new place to play what he assumed was an easily translatable sport. He was hardly homesick, maybe at first when he was persistently teased by the older boys, or when he felt like he didn’t click with the team, or when he missed football with Rin— it was familiar, Rin was familiar. His brother would know him and his playstyle better than anyone. They even shared a dream together, one that Sae was furthering by leaving for Spain; but he was here to move beyond, rid himself of playing “familiar,” become the best in the world, the best striker in the world. Whether or not Rin was by his side or second wasn't a priority at this moment.

Itoshi Sae was young and naive.

It had been six years since he sat in this black leather booth, in the awkward, darker, secluded corner where the coffee beans and cups lie for the consumer sale. Dabadie was off, near the counter getting drinks for the both of them, that never seemed to change. His bangs were pushed back with hairspray, up with the rest of his hair, still; Madrid winters were dry and cold, his hands coming to rest in a much more expensive, ‘football salary paid’ luxury coat that protected him from the snowy expanse outside the window. He sighed, shutting his eyes with a flutter as he leaned his head against the window. He never felt homesick, he didn’t miss Japan much, it wasn’t much of a home since things changed. Rin was off being Rin, sharing the dream of best striker with only himself as Sae focused on his talent as a midfielder, striving for his own reformed dream. That was partially a lie, part of him did miss Japan, not as much as he once did when he was naive and fourteen, last time he was in Japan only a few days ago he and Rin lived civilly under the same roof. They didn’t speak, but it was an improvement; Sae had found himself in a hotel room the last few years he came back, Rin not even bearing to share a building with him— maybe a few months in Japan could improve things, but he didn’t have the time. Even after all this time he played for Re Al. He was distant with the team, he was when he was young, a young, awkward, foreign boy who couldn’t click initially, but he did— there was a time when he shared bonds and close friendships with members of his team. Now, as an adult, at twenty, he couldn’t care, nor did he bother.

In his peripheral vision he could see the cafe television playing a Barcha game, the volume was turned down, captions illegible from the angle he viewed it. A familiar face caused him to quickly shut his eyes again, scowling as he dug himself deeper into his coat and sighed.

Now, familiar words still repeat in his head like a neverending mantra. “Give up on that egoless dream.” His words harsh, unforgiving, he turned away from Sae, lilac hair meeting his eyes, “I knew you wouldn’t understand me leaving. You can’t even see it for yourself that you have no potential as the greatest striker.”

Sae opened his eyes at the sound of footsteps and the following, “Here.” From Dabadie as he set the steaming cup of coffee in front of Sae, glass hitting the wood with an audible clink.

This coffee shop was the most familiar place in Madrid, it was shut off in a corner in an alley, most tourists never came in, even passersby who lived in the area didn’t know it existed. It was safe, he was rarely recognized, and paparazzi would never flood the area, the coffee not being lukewarm was a bonus. It was in the corner, with a pale red faded sign of the family business’s name hanging in the blowing breeze outside, yellow lights strung around the roof that covered the front over the doors, a protection from snow and rain— a place he has stood, sat while waiting for his cab in the harsh weathers. The interior was comforting, dark, deep wooden floors, and a red brick wall interior with stone bricks near the entryway door, it was small, and contained a few small tables with wood a few shades darker than the flooring, and black leather booths near the windows, or barstool height chairs towards the center. Sae found himself missing this place when he left Spain for too long, it was his refuge.

Sae nodded and wrapped his frigid hands around the glass, they warmed in an instant, he watched the steam rise in a cloud, heat radiating near where his face lay in front of it. The expression he wore unchanging, lips pursed, eyes devoid of light and uncaring, it was cold and plain. This was the expression he wore often, it was easier to feign nonchalance, laugh in his head, and smile with his eyes rather than move his lips, and change his facial expression. He was here to work, play football, be successful, be the best, once he had done that he could focus on other aspects of his life. A message he should have drilled into the head of his younger self. He should’ve been more focused on playing football than the relations with friends and teammates.

The snow reminded him of his formal self, more specifically the most prominent person in the life he once lived. Young and naive with a singular person who took interest in his ego when he arrived. He was the door that unlocked Sae into a bliss and brief comfort in Spain, back when he felt comfortable with his team, and even considered a few as friends rather than those to receive passes from. Pre-midfielder Sae, Sae who was once a striker with a young ambitious dream. The boy was the same age as him, not foreign to Spain, he was far too extroverted when he wanted to be with that annoyingly happy smile on his scar covered face. He resembled a bunny, ironic considering his name, crimson eyes, and lilac hair. Sae shook his head sipping the coffee as he shook the thoughts from his mind.

Winter was lonely, as the snow began to fall down upon the alleyway from the window Sae remembered that night. The one shot game against Rin threw their bond away. Snow hadn’t seemed the same since, a persistent lukewarm reminder. The alleyway, the streets, Madrid seemed empty and cold, barren in the falling snow. He hadn’t enjoyed the falling snow in a long while. Possibly since he was a child throwing snowballs at a young frustrated Rin, even fourteen, when he was staying at the Re Al dorms, his obnoxious lilac haired roommate waking him up early in the morning, before the sun began to rise, on the day of the first snow in winter to go outside and build an ugly snowman difficulty under the dark sky. He hated being woken up early, his body needed proper rest for training. Yet, he felt himself smile and laugh at their creation in the sunlight whether the laughter was in his head, or actually graced his face he couldn’t recall.

Somehow between the ages of fourteen and twenty his current most memorable relationship was the civil work relationship with his manager. He lacked close friends and his brother hardly spoke to him.

Sae let out a long sigh releasing his now warm hands from the white glass and leaned his head back against the window as he sunk deeper into the booth.

—

Barcelona: specifically a locker room, crowded, filled with the murmur of overlapping voices, the slamming of the echoing locker doors, the sounds of footsteps over hard concrete floors, and the muffled rush of the showers.

“I heard we are supposed to play a few friendly practice games against Re Al in a few weeks.” That was the echoing voice of one of his teammates in the emptying locker room. Practice ran long and most were excited to leave, the sounds of muffled voices and conversations slowly dying down.

He raised an eyebrow at his teammate, urging a reply without verbally speaking as he tied his left shoe.

His teammate only shrugged, “Hearsay.” He answered simply, “Someone said they heard the coaches discuss it. Maybe we will hear something soon, not like it's a big deal or anything, and practice matches are always fun.” He said dismissively.

Another one of his teammates cut into their conversation, “Didn’t you play for Re Al?” He asked, staring directly at him.

Bunny stood up, grabbing his bag, his shoes were tied, he was changed out of his uniform ready to leave, “Yeah. Years ago.” He answered simply.

One obnoxious, younger, new teammate asked, “Wow! You played with Itoshi Sae? You should get me an autograph from him!”

Bunny laughed, then he nodded, “If you want an autograph you should know he hasn’t liked me since I left.” He explained, he shrugged his shoulders and commented, “Mine would be more valuable anyway.”

One of his teammates scoffed, “Did he even like you when you were there?”

Another commented, “He seems kinda cold— does he like anyone?”

Bunny returned the gesture, he shook his head and scoffed before he turned to leave the locker room. He footsteps echoed in the almost empty room as he slung his bag over his shoulder; at the same time he raised his right hand, waving it as a goodbye, and then he stepped out, a rushing breeze of cold air hitting him in an instant.

He walked towards his car, the driver already there, patiently waiting his arrival. He stepped out, then he opened the back-right passenger door, allowing Bunny inside. He leaned his tired head against the black leather of the seat the ache in his neck growing stronger as he moved, he sighed as he craned his neck, staring at the Barcelona winter streets from the tinted window.

—

“I’m glad I found out through you.” It was sarcastic, a bite, a sentence said through gritted teeth. An eighteen year old Itoshi Sae was looking at him under furrowed brows.

It was deep into the evening, long past practice hours, on the practice field under the moonlight. The stars above watched the scene below as a gentle breeze filled the cooling air. The other players were long gone, and even the usual bustling busy streets were beginning to die down. Fall was passing and winter was quickly approaching. Remnants of previous snowfalls, and the increasingly freezing temperatures were constant reminders of the barren season. The trees leaves emptied, they left, away with the breeze as they passed on. As the sun departed, the temperatures dropped even further, and their breaths became a visible white fog as they spoke.

Bunny waved a hand as he kicked the ball into the goal once again, “I never told you to go through my stuff, Sae.” He responded dismissively, he grabbed another football, and began kicking it around, setting himself for another shot before taking it once more.

“We live together. Our stuff gets mixed up all the time, those are my shorts.” He comments, his eyes gazing upon the Re Al shorts with ‘Sae’ stitched vertically on the side. The topic changed for only a moment. Then, he shook his head, continuing, “It is difficult for me not to look when I’m hearing the rumors. All I did was see for myself if they were true.”

Bunny let out a long sigh, this time he didn’t reach for another football, instead, he stood in place with his hands resting on his hips, and he turned his head to meet Sae’s harsh teal gaze, “I was going to tell you.”

“Last?” Sae asked.

“I haven’t told anyone.” Bunny said, shaking his head, “Sometimes the word just gets out.”

“The file says you leave in two weeks.” Sae cut in, then he asked, “So when?”

“Eventually.” He shrugged, “I was going to tell you, I mean it. Anyways, why does it matter much you’ll get to play as a forward more with me gone, although, I always thought you made some pretty great passes as a midfielder, but it’s your dream—“

Sae cut him off, “You know I’m not talking about football.”

Bunny pursed his lips. He just stared at Sae for a moment, watching his red hair blow in the breeze, he noticed his bangs were down not pushed back with hairspray like they typically were, he must’ve rushed there. He bit his cheek, chewing the words down for a moment before he said, “I know.” It came out oddly soft, not intentionally, “I wanted…” He began the confession before biting back again, the words he wanted to say fresh in his brain, but the words struggling to leave— he couldn’t say it properly— his mouth working improperly. It did not work at all. He shoved his hands in the pockets of Sae’s shorts, eyes gazing down at his feet, a frown forming on his lips as he continued, “Honestly, I wanted to enjoy whatever this was a little longer. Things are going to change when I go to Barcelona.”

Sae scoffed, “That's cheap.”

They weren’t dating. Hence the use of this. It was more than a friendship, but without the label. It wasn’t friends with benefits, it wasn’t dating, it wasn’t anything, it was mutual feelings without a label. Fooling around, acting like a couple, being a couple without a name, without acknowledgment on either side, and without anyone knowing. It was a secret, their little secret between the two of them, it’d been going on for a few months, but the feelings had been there for longer, they both knew it. Eventually those feelings toppled over the edge like a bumped glass on a coffee table. Those months were the spilling of the liquid, the water trickling down the glass slowly to the floor below, and this night; a singular moment, was the roll of the glass— that had been building up the entire time— finally falling and shattering onto the floor below.

“Neither of us could do this,” He said while pointing a finger between the two of them, “—long distance, you know it.” Bunny shrugged simply, it came out cold and distant, nonchalantly, “Once, I told you I knew it’d be over.”

“Then why are you going?” Sae asked, he regretted it as he said it, he wanted to take it back, it was a stupid question, an implication that Bunny would pick Re Al and Sae over Barcha and an improving career.

Bunny scoffed, his tone growing harsh, it was uncharacteristic— his tone changed, similar to how it was towards their teammates who screwed up during an important match. Everyone had this side to them. Yet, here it was, harsh and unrelenting towards him, “I’m going to Barcha to improve, doubt you’ll take my advice, you never seem to, but you should do the same.”

Sae paused, he held his breath for a second, his face faltering, eyes growing wider at his words. That cold expression he got used to quickly. The one he shot towards interviewers when he was a child, uninterested in their questions, one he kept most of the time, keeping him unreadable and barren was faltering, shifting, his demeanor cracking. His eyes told a different story, if anyone cared to look close enough, that is something one can’t control the same way as the lips and muscles on their face.

“Give up on that egoless dream.” He clicked his tongue while he shook his head, his words were harsh and unrelenting as he turned away from Sae, “I knew you wouldn’t understand me leaving. You can’t even see it for yourself that you have no potential as the greatest striker, your potential lies in being a midfielder.” He explained simply, his tone unfaltering. He lifted his right hand waving a ‘goodbye’ at Sae before walking out, not facing him, and leaving the footballs kicked and tossed about messily on the practice field.

Bunny walked out, leaving Sae with the remnants of his mess in more ways than one.

Bunny shook his head in the car, a familiar lonely smile spreading across his lips, the short-lived locker room conversation from earlier bringing up memories he had suppressed but couldn’t forget.

—

Sae kicked the nearest football as hard as he could with his left foot. Messy and uncontrolled, it bounced against the rim of the goal, and flew back towards him. He shook his head and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He avoided the mess, he was sure there would be a meeting, they’d get chewed out again about remembering to clean up after late practices— ‘especially if you were practicing on your own time!’ Sae didn’t have the energy to care, no one would.

He walked down the streets of Madrid, the breeze growing into a stronger wind, the evening faded into night, and the dark sky was illuminated with gentle yellow and orange streetlights that guided the way. He could’ve called his manager, got a quick ride, an uber, waved down one of the many passing cabs on the busy Friday night. He couldn’t get himself to raise his hand, use his phone, or even remove them from his pockets. His body walked through the night on autopilot, he couldn’t go back to the dorms, he and Bunny lived together, he would likely need a hotel tonight, but for the moment he was fine with the solace he found under the stars of the winter night, the absence of falling snow, but snow was still present, leftovers from the previous cold and weathery nights packed in clumps, shoveled on the sides of roads and sidewalk.

He found that faded red sign, and he settled into the still open cafe, he ordered a coffee, his usual, and sat down with his drink in the familiar corner black booth seat all by himself. His eyes gazed outside of the window, looking at the barren snow filled streets, and he understood why people described winter as so lonely.

Sae drank the coffee slowly, not the best beverage in the dark of night, but it would do. He wrapped his fingers around the mug, warming them, a contrast against the heat. He couldn’t remember exactly how long he was there, his mind elsewhere as he leaned his head against the window, red bangs coming into contact with the surface, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

However, the gentle voice of the young barista working there, the only other person remaining in the building at this time, “Sir?”

Sae was brought back into reality, his eyes opened and he fixed his posture, “Yes?”

She apologized quickly, explaining, “I’m so sorry but we are closing.”

Sae’s mug was empty by now, and he stood up quickly, “Right, I apologize.” He paid with a greater bill, leaving them the extra as an apology— he had the money, he was a professional player after all. Then he walked out with his frigid hands shoved back into his coat pocket as he walked to a nearby hotel to stay for the night.

When he returned to the dorm the next morning, the right side of the room was empty, just the bed and desk supplied by the dormitory remained. All of Bunny’s clothes and belongings had disappeared. Sae’s shorts, the ones he was wearing mistakenly of not last night, were folded, and gently placed upon his bed. There was no note and no reminder of Bunny left in their shared dorm.

—

Sae would leave for Barcelona in a week, and he would be there for a week. He had been before, played FC Barcha and Bunny in practice games and left. At the beginning, he could avoid it, be benched, but even when he did play he left as soon as it was over avoiding any possible confrontation. The first time he was there, he had made the mistake of thinking he would have enough time to shower before leaving, only to find a Bunny who bribed his way into the Re Al locker room sitting on one of the wooden benches. He preached about peace, complimented his performance, commented on his switch to midfielder— “finally you listen to me,” but it all went in one ear and out the other. Sae grabbed his bag, slammed his locker, and left. Bunny decided this reality for the both of them, and it was easier to be cold and distant than try to play the acquaintance pathway. However, it’d been a while since whatever they had ended, two years ago as winter arrived once again, and he found those feelings of hatred beginning to diminish. Obviously he still had the urge to crush Bunny, ruin football for him, and take away anything joy he got from their shared hobby; but, he couldn’t find himself bothered by his presence. He was like a ghost at this point, seeing him hardly rose those old feelings again, he pushed them down into a box, shut, and locked it someplace deep. The acknowledgment, the devotion, and involvement in emotional relationships is what made him lukewarm when he and Bunny both played for Re Al, now he had moved forward and changed, no longer caring for such lukewarm obstacles.

Sae was laying on his plain white bed, he no longer lived in the dorms, growing out of the need especially with the pay he received from playing in the league. He laid on his back, his bangs which were falling loose, not held by the constraints of hairspray at the moment falling back over his forehead messily. Speaking of Bunny Iglesias and his lack of active hatred towards him, his finger grazed back and forth over his online profile as he debated fully moving forward by unblocking him. It seemed like the mature thing to do, they could coexist without any old memories and anger festering between them, as strangers and former teammates instead. A civil relationship could be beneficial, he would play better without distractions, FC Barcha and Re Al had plenty of practice games, and league games, Bunny was unavoidable. However, before Sae could make a decision a sports notification caught his attention: “Itoshi Rin Sweeping the Nation as the Next Japanese U-20 Forward Prodigy!” He clicked it. The article attached was a recount of a recent game Rin played in, the absurd amount of goals he scored, and the ways he stomped his opponent. He truly was moving forward on his solo dream.

It was evening, 18:00 in Madrid, meaning it was past the middle of the night in Japan, where Rin was. He was likely asleep, even if he were awake, he’d likely ignore any message Sae sent, but he sent one anyway. His fingers moved quickly opening Rin’s contact, the last message sent from when Sae was in Japan, left on open and ignored. He typed a simple message, “Good game.” It was plain and ambiguous, barely a hole in the large concrete wall Rin placed between them. It was something: a step towards the wall.

Like a weight was lifted, for a moment his chest felt lighter, Sae’s eyes gazed upon the open suitcase on the floor, half full with folded clothes, missing plenty of important belongings. He sighed, getting off his bed, dropping his phone onto his bed as he crawled onto the floor to finish packing for his upcoming trip.

—

Dabadie’s words went into one ear and out the other. Sae sighed, shutting his eyes as he stared at his lukewarm coffee in front of him, it had been sitting there for long enough to lose its initial heat, and now it sat plainly, half-full in front of him. The interior lighting in the coffee shop kept the place warmly lit in comparison to the stormy skies of the outside streets.

Dabadie dropped his tense shoulders and sighed, “You aren’t even listening, Sae.”

Sae raised an eyebrow, and hummed, “Hm?”

“I have the information you wanted on Barcha— we were supposed to be going over it?” He explained, he pushed the paper files closer to Sae with his pointer finger, “It is just a friendly match though… I am not too sure why you’re studying their team so hard.”

“It isn’t just a friendly match.” Sae explained, still his fave retained the blank nonchalant expression it always did. He reached forward taking the papers into his hands,”If I took every game so lightly, I’d never improve. That way of thinking is lukewarm.”

Dabadie nodded hastily, an awkward smile settling on his face as he shut his mouth and watched Sae from across the booth. The same booth Sae always finds himself in, black leather, in the back, near the window, and in a darker avoidable corner to keep himself away from other customers.

Sae’s eyes gazed fully upon the cafe television again, sports once again, and FC Barcha specifically. Almost comedically like they knew he was there, his history with their star player he wanted to crush. He set down the documents Dabadie gathered, opting to watch the remaining fifteen of so minutes of the match playing on the TV in front of him. Figures the cameras would focus on Bunny, he could see the many fans in the crowd with ‘Iglesias’ jerseys on their backs, its obvious he makes money, he's popular, a star player. Yet, seeing his face made his desire to go, and crush those Barcha practice games even stronger. The urge to make him eat the words he said, as winter came so did the memories he tried too hard to repress.

In the last two minutes Bunny scored yet again, another goal, his third— a hattrick, FC Barcha won the tie transformed into 3-2. The camera zoomed in on him the sign he made with his hand, a habit he's always had, clear as day on screen, he had his index and pinky extended, middle and ring finger held down by his thumb, and a wide smile extended on his face as he stared directly into the camera. Sae wanted to turn away, but he couldn’t, not until the camera panned away did he. His eyes glanced down at the papers in front of him, instead of grabbing them he grabbed his cold coffee, and sipped it instead.

Sae felt confident he had observed enough, despite only glancing over the file, his eyes turned up towards Dabadie, and he asked, “Can you call a cab back to my apartment?”

Dabadie’s shoulders relaxed and he nodded hastily, fumbling with his phone from his bag as he quickly got to work.

It didn’t take long for the cab to arrive— perks of being a renown football player. The back right passenger door was opened for him, and he sat down, rested his elbow against the window, and placed his hand on his fist. His eyes gazed out of the tinted window to his left absentmindedly. He was lost in useless thought until he felt his phone vibrate from where it sat in his pocket. He furrowed his eyebrows and reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone. There was a singular notification on his homescreen from a minute ago from Rin.

“Thanks.”

It took him an entire day, but eventually he spoke to him, even if it was just a word, it was progress. Sae opened the message as acknowledgement, then he shut his phone off, and stuffed it back into his pocket before he went back to gazing at the Madrid steps from the window.

—

A few aimless, plain days passed. Sae spent most of them practicing hard before his departure. The one message from Rin multiplied, not by much, but there was a semblance of a conversation. Again— progress— two years ago Sae was sure he’d kill him if he had a chance; although that might be pushing it. It was awkward navigating a relationship when it sat in a conversational stalemate for two years. Sae began:

“I'm going to Barcelona in a few days.”

It took quite a bit of time for Rin to reply. Partially because of his hesitance, part of it being the timezone difference. There one conversation— if it could be considered one spanning over the few days before Sae left.

“League games?”

“Practice.”

It was different to formulate meaningful responses. There were so many words unsaid between them, yet, there was so little to say when they actually began to speak. Eventually, after thinking it over, and retyping the message a hundred times Rin would reply again.

“I don’t have any games until next week.”

However, one question elicited an immediate response from Rin, no matter what time it was, the response was practically instant when Sae asked:

“Is that Isagi Yoichi still on your team?”

“Why? He is lukewarm.”

“I hear positive things about him. They say he is a prodigy.”

Rin disliked his message, and Sae didn’t send any further messages. He slept early that night, the bus ride he was taking tomorrow leaving quite early in the morning.

—

Sae held the jet-black suitcase’s handle in his hand as it rolled along the concrete beside him. He was boarding the bus with a sleeping mask in his free-hand that was not carrying the suitcase. He picked an empty seat by the window near the back of the bus, his luggage in another part of the bus with everyone else's. His eyes watched the scenery from the outside through the window while he waited for everyone to board. Once the bus began to move he pulled the sleep-mask over his eyes, and he found himself easily drifting off into sleep as he adjusted for the long ride ahead.

When they arrived, it was early into the evening, Sae slept for a decent portion of the busride— passing the time. The hotel was basic but nice, his room had a window overlooking the city, at the moment he could see the full moon in the sky, not many stars, but the lights from buildings and streetlights below that illuminated the area. Sae watched for a moment, he cracked the window open letting a fresh breeze fill the stuffy hotel room. He turned on the television, sports news and random commercials played as static background noise as he unpacked his suitcase, keeping his clothes neatly folded.

The room had dark brown walls, a strip behind the television a deep burgundy color, there was patterned carpet over a deep brown wood. The curtains were red to match the color of the stripe on the wall, and they covered the large window well. The bed had a white comforter, with white and black patterned pillows. The bathroom was nice, it had a shower, and a decent sized bathtub, a large mirror with a countertop with plenty of space on top of it.

Once he finished unpacking he took a long shower, erasing the stuffiness, and germs from the crowded bus he spent practically the entire day on. His skincare sat unpacked on the bathroom counter along with the supplied soaps and face wash from the hotel. After his shower, he grabbed his moisturizer and spent quite a bit of time in the bathroom going through his meticulous routine. Sae kept a towel over his shoulders, his bangs falling over his forehead— the hairspray and gel washed out long ago in his shower. He sat on the edge of the white hotel king bed in the center of the room, in front of the TV as he re-laced his shoes before their first practice game tomorrow.

His phone vibrated continuously from where it sat plainly, tossed randomly on the bed beside him. Sae raised an eyebrow and leaned over, peering at the homescreen. Rin, just his name, no last name, his contact name, and a green answer and red deny button below.

It was entirely unexpected but Sae opted for the green button. The words left his mouth as plain as any others did, with no hitches in his breath or tone despite confusion, “Hello?” He greeted, but it was more like a question.

Rin skipped the mutual greeting and decided to immediately launch into conversation instead, “How is Barcelona?”

“Fine.” Sae replied straightforwardly, “I’ve only been to the hotel. The first game is tomorrow.” He explained.

There was no response on the other end of the line. This was close to the singular conversation they shared over the week before he left. In about thirty seconds they exhausted the only topic they could comfortably talk about.

Sae spoke up again, “How has it been playing professionally?”

This time there was noise on the other end of the line, “I’m surviving.”

Sae scoffed, “You talk about it as if it's a battlefield.” Although, in some ways it was, at least when it came to the overarching hierarchical ego that would survive.

“It is.” Rin replied, honestly. Then with a more hostile voice he spat, “You’re too lukewarm to see it that way.”

Sae shrugged, even though Rin couldn’t see it, and he leaned back on the side of the bed falling back halfway on it as his legs fell over the edge. Sae ignored his response— it was sort of an implication that he was a midfielder because he was too lukewarm to share a philosophy of a striker, maybe Rin was right— he didn’t care. He shifted topics trying to continue forward on a tightrope, “You’re improving quickly. Maybe you’ll come out on top on the battlefield.”

There was a short pause, for just an instant as Rin contemplated his next response, “I will.” Rin replied, quickly, “I still have the dream to be the world's best striker even if you gave up on it.”

“That’s good.”

He doesn’t know what response Rin anticipated, maybe another argument, a one-shot game over the phone? Lukewarm? Unlikely. Possibly an argument, or silence from his end? But, Rin’s end of the phone went silent, utterly silent.

This lasted for a long moment, the phone still placed against Sae’s ear as he waited for something, anything.

Finally the silence was broken, “Whatever, I have a practice to get to.” Rin explained before hastily pressing the red button on his phone screen to end the call.

The conversation felt like an egotistic aggressive exchange of words that ran in awkward circles. It shouldn’t have felt like progress, but in many ways it was. That phone call contained more words in the few minutes they spent on the phone than Rin had spoken to him in the entirety of last year. Parts of the wall Rin constructed between them was crumbling.

Sae lifted himself up, one show half-laced in front of him, the other lacking any laces. He checked the clock, it was only growing later. He finished the task and fell asleep soon after.

—

Barcelona: a locker room more specificall. Sae entered with a duffle bag slung over one arm. It was slightly different than the one at home in Madrid, but a locker room has the same functionality no matter where you are, so it worked. He changed, then set his duffle in a locker before putting his shoes on. His teammates were all overly excited for this—they always seemed to be.

He felt an arm drape over his shoulder, and a scowl formed upon his face instantly, “Don’t look so down, Sae!” A chirpy voice asked. His blonde hair met Sae’s eyes as he leaned over, invading his space, “Practice is fun. Seems like you still have so much to learn from your teammates.” Luna stated. Then, he released him soon after, before Sae could push him off himself. It was an obnoxious tease, poked at the plain expression he’d been wearing since they arrived. It was no different than the expression he always wore, one would think he’d know by now, but it was difficult for someone like him not to make teasing comments or remarks.

“I’ll celebrate once we win.” Sae replied as he pushed himself up and off the bench.

Luna’s eyebrows raised and he grinned, “So serious.”

It wasn’t long until they walked out onto the green grass of the field, the FC Barcha team sharing the same lukewarm excitement. None of them had the potential to be the greatest if they treat every game with importance, learn new skills, find room to improve, critique themselves even in practice. There was no need to get excited until you win. Until you’re the greatest.

Sae adjusted his black gloves as he stood on the field awaiting kickoff. At that moment his eyes met crimson ones from across the field, Bunny waved quickly, that familiar smile of his spreading across his face— Sae only saw it for a moment before he clicked his tongue and turned away.

The games always felt shorter when played not watched— likely for that exact reason. There wasn’t any time to focus on the clock when Sae’s mind was focused on the field and making impossible passes. However, when the whistle blew, the final whistle to signal the game's conclusions, the results were not in Sae’s favor.

Figures they would lose.

Sae knew he played fine, but he couldn’t excel when his teammates wouldn’t properly play off his passes. He scored one of the two goals Re Al made— taking matters into his own hands, and out of his lukewarm teammates.

He scoffed and walked back into the locker room, telling himself “it was just a practice,” did not quell the frustration. He was fine with ignoring Bunny, it worked out in his favor, in fact, he was hardly thinking of him, only remembering his existence when his eyes met lilac hair on the field. To ignore wasn’t even, if he was playing FC Barcha in any capacity he would use those ample opportunities to crush him— well, he was trying— his hardest at that.

His teammates seemed bummed, not for long, the suggestion to go out to celbrate… a loss? Or maybe not celebrating at all shifted the majority of his team's attitudes in an instant. There was excited chatter and it made for busy background noise as Sae went through the meticulous steps of his moisturizing routine like he did after most games. The time it took caused most of the team to leave and head back to the hotel, or just immediately hit the streets.

Before Luna left he asked, “You wanna come with?

Sae scoffed, “No.”

“You should party sometimes… you are famous.” Luna shrugged, offering the unsolicited advice before leaving.

Just about everyone had left, and Sae was to be next. He had changed, showered, and was currently grabbing his bag from his locker when he heard the locker room door open again. Confused, he turned his head around looking at the entrance before he scowled once more. There were times he couldn’t maintain his bored demeanor, times when his facial expressions would falter, and this was one of those times.

He quickly bit out, “What are you doing?” As he slammed the locker door shut, the force echoed amongst the walls.

He ignored his question entirely, beginning to ramble as Sae tried to walk by him, “You made a fantastic goal today, maybe I was wrong about your striker capabilities…” He said he then leaned against the door, covering the wall on either side of the door with his hands, and his body blocked it. He was stupidly tall and large, and he never used any of his attributes for good. He wasn’t wearing his Barcha jersey anymore, a plain oversized tee and shorts, his lilac hair was still damp, likely from a shower, and his face wore an excited smile.

His red eyes met teal as Sae spoke, “Move.” He demanded.

Bunny retorted, replying, “No. I wouldn’t have to do this if you’d just hear me out once in a while.”

“I really don’t care what you have to say.” Sae said with an exasperated sigh, there were a lot of awful things he’d rather be doing than being in the presence of this guy at the moment.

Bunny fought him on it, claiming, “If that was true you’d still be a forward.”

“I didn’t switch because of you, I knew then that I didn’t have the capability to be the best striker.” It was half a lie, half a truth, he knew he didn’t have what it took, that his true ego and potential lied in being a midfielder, but that night in the snow on the practice field was the push he needed to change. However, he wouldn’t give Bunny the satisfaction of being right. Being the reason for anything in his life now. He continued, explaining, “You just happened to realize as well.”

“Right.” Bunny replied, unconvinced. He shrugged, finally releasing his hands from the walls, and moving his body from his position as barricade, “I just wanted to tell you that you’re really improving— that goal truly was amazing, Sae.”

Sae hated the way he said his name, it was like poison, and he shook his head walking out of the door with his balled fists shoved into his pockets. He expected Bunny to follow, to continue his ramblings like the pest he was, but he didn’t, he felt those eyes of his watch him from the entrance of the locker room door, but he feet never followed.

Sae aimlessly walked down the streets, he was looking for somewhere to get dinner from nearby, maybe a place that resembled that cafe he loved in Madrid. It wasn’t as cold here as it was at home in Madrid, he enjoyed that at least, snow was a persistent reminder of his failing relationships in life and here there was no snow.

He found a small family owned place tucked in an alley where he was able to comfortably eat dinner after being recognized by paparazzi on his way over. He wore sunglasses over his face even as he ate inside, and he kept his head down.

Eventually he got a cab back to the hotel, and he fell asleep as soon as he hit the mattress.

The next morning he awoke to two messages from Rin:

“You lost.”

“Lukewarm.”

They would win their next practice game. It was still close, almost ending in a draw. Maybe Bunny took the hint, or was too embarrassed by his loss— or it could be the fact that Sae left as soon as he could, opting to avoid an encounter like yesterday's and doing his after match routine in his hotel room. But the two didn’t meet again after the match.

He replied to Rin once he got back to the hotel much later in the afternoon.

“I won today's match.”

He didn’t expect a response, their slow conversations spanning over days became expected and typical. He repeated his routine, ordered food, and stayed in at the hotel while his teammates were out partying, celebrating their win from today.

If he cared to check he had a few messages from Luna— unfortunately the only person. on his team who had his number. If he had a choice he’d delete his contact in an instant.

“Sae you should come join us!”

“It’s super fun you’re missing out.”

“I await the day you finally let loose.”

The next game would result in a draw. Bunny continued keeping distance, it seemed unlike him, the bastard would pry and do practically to get attention from Sae, almost like he took joy in the anger presented on his face— he probably did.

Yet, even when Sae stayed later than all his teammates the rabbit didn’t make a scene in the locker room. When he left his presence was missing from wherever he went. Somehow Barcelona was both peaceful and lonely.

He found himself bored— there were only so many times he cared to play the same team. He could practically read each of them by now. He was benched for this game and sat withdrawn on the bench on the sidelines, half watching half not caring much at this point. It was a repetitive routine as they went into game four.

They won, without Sae on the field, he attributes part of it to the fact that Bunny was unexpectedly benched as well.

The team was extremely excited when they got back to the locker room. Their record against FC Barcha for these friendly games was positive, and as Sae assumed they would, they were already discussing where they would be celebrating tonight. Sae was contemplating his own plans, maybe ordering in again, or trying a new restaurant for dinner.

Yet, when he felt that familiar arm drape around his shoulder again he knew his evening would begin as a pain.

“Sae.” Luna singsonged, teasingly, “All of us agree you should come out to celebrate tonight. I can’t recall the last time you did.” His breath was annoying close to Sae— his entire presence for that matter.

Sae was quick enough this time to push him off, reiterating the former stance he had on participating in these celebrations, “No.”

“But you seem so down, Sae.” He commented, he was feigning being a caring teammate to convince him to party, fantastic, “It’s not great to see our star playing so withdrawn— could the team be the problem? Let’s consider it a team-building exercise. How about that?”

“The answer is still no.” Sae deadpanned, he sighed as he kicked his shoes off and changed them.

He assumed Luna would quit by now, exercising all the energy he had to try to convince Sae to do the impossible. He didn’t, he continued, “Oh, come on Sae. Everyone would be really excited if you showed up.” It was pleading at this point, all the eyes of his teammates on the two of them, maxing out the pressure to participate in this “team-building exercise.”

Sae repeated, verbatim, again, for what he thinks is the hundredth time, “No.”

—

Sae swore he said no— probably about a thousand times at that. So why, how, and when did he decide going to the bar with his team was the most optimal way to spend his evening. He changed into something more casual: slacks, a white button down shirt, and black coat, when he went back to his hotel, before Luna was banging on the door and forcing himself out before security removed them both. The lights were a constant shift of colors, it was definitely a nightclub rather than a sports bar or pub— he’d been to those plenty of times. Sae swears Luna promised the latter, that was the only way to get him to agree, figures it would be a lie as well. His teammates were off, “properly”— if that were a thing— partying. Sae opted to sit at the bar, Luna was a few seats away from him talking to others at the bar, a few teammates, and a few strangers, or acquaintances Sae wasn’t familiar with.

Sae was sipping on a drink that Luna insisted on buying for him. He kept telling himself the next sip was his last, it was far too fruity and unhealthy for his tastes, but his dry throat and lips made him go back again and again. The place was stuffy and hot, and Sae was extremely uncomfortable, he shifted boredly in the stool he sat upon. He watched and waited for Luna to divert his attention, go to dance, or be taken away by someone so he could leave. Sae already tried, Luna spotted him, insisted he stay, and forcefully sat with him at the bar where he is now— he said fifteen minutes isn’t enough time to constitute it as a proper “team-building exercise.” Sae was trapped: and this was hell.

Suddenly, beside him the empty bar stool was consumed by a presence, and a man bumped into his shoulder as he sat down beside him. Hastily, he apologized, a quick, “Sorry.”
It remained that way until Sae felt a pair of eyes from the stranger beside him burn his skin with their gaze, then the man laughed, the voice strangely familiar. Sae finally turned his head to meet the odd stranger as he spoke once more, “I don’t remember you ever coming to these when I was at Re Al.” Lilac hair, white in the light, familiar red eyes, lacking any distinct light— that made them distinctly his, a Barcha jacket over his shoulders, with a name he despised stitched on the back, “Iglesias.” Figures Sae’s streak of luck would bring him to the same place as him, beside him by pure coincidence, at the same time.

He referred to him rather harshly, unfamiliarily, opting for, “Iglesias.” His last name, rather than the first name he used when they once played on the same team.

“Aww, no need to be cold, Sae!” He said enthusiastically, then, that lonely smile—barren of any true emotion; that he often plastered across his face as his own twisted type of poker face was spread across his face as he grinned ear to ear. He annoyingly continued, “Just because the jerseys are different doesn’t mean I’m any different. You’ve been so mean this week.” He drawled, almost a whine, his idiotic actions only making Sae’s disdain grow stronger.

The longer he spoke to him he felt the flame of hatred arise from somewhere deep.

Sae scoffed, “You should be.” He wasn’t sure why he was entertaining this, he should’ve turned back around, towards his right, towards a teammate who he could care less about, act like he was engaged, and bonding with them for once. He wasn’t sure cold, simple responses would be enough to push Bunny away. Then, Sae continued, “I thought the idea of leaving for Barcha was to change. To improve.”

“You know I am not talking about football, Sae.” Bunny replied.

Of course he knew. Even if Sae ignored him, let the response lie in the air between them until it dissipated, and let time pass too far along for a response to suddenly make sense. Bunny wouldn’t leave. He wasn’t someone Sae could easily shove away, and part of that feels like a curse bestowed upon him; rather, this entire twisted meeting as a whole. Once he was there he was impossible to remove, like gum in your hair.

Bunny couldn’t keep his mouth shut, he couldn’t turn away, possibly entertain a fan or two, teammates that were desperate for the attention of a more popular teammate. He was content on torturing Sae— at least that is what it could be attributed to, this behavior. Bunny slouched, then rested his elbows on the bar counter in front of him, and then he tilted his head, he rested it on the palm of his hand “I am rather shocked you’re here.”

For a moment, he didn’t elaborate any further, one person was able to drag Bunny’s attention away: the bartender. For that short lived peace and clarity there was the absence of a ridiculous teasingly annoying voice as he ordered a drink. However, that interaction was as short lived as they come because only a moment later he was back to staring at Sae, even if Sae didn’t reciprocate he could see his gaze in his periphery as he stared forward at the bottles in front of him. The glasses behind the bar counter were suddenly intriguing. Bunny sighed, drawn out and dramatically, “I remember trying to get you to come to the teams after parties. You had a book of excuses. I really wonder what changed?” It was a question he wasn’t pestering for an answer to, rather more similar to a topic to dwell on, to think about the changes between them. Two years, two years since the transfer, and two years since Madrid permanently felt like the dry loneliness that festers on a winter evening.

Sae told himself he’d be mature and ignore him, be cold to push him away, and move on with his night not dwelling on the unfortunate encounter anymore. This time, Bunny wasn’t persistent, if Sae could keep his mouth shut it would likely play out how he wanted it to prior: Bunny would leave and entertain something or someone else that cared. Yet, idiotically, he chased the bait, replying, “The idea that you wouldn’t be there.”

Bunny’s eyes widened for a second, not at the insult, but at the premise of a response entirely. He regained composure quickly, responding, “I was the issue with Re Al celebrations?” He asked. Sae nodded. The corners of Bunny’s lips perked up, “Honestly, I always thought it was because you couldn’t hold your liquor.” He confessed, biting back teasing laughter.

Sae shook his head, “What are you talking about?” It was rhetorical. He finally turned his head, the glasses in front of him suddenly not so interesting, and he met the red eyes beside him.

Rhetorical or not, Bunny answered anyway, “Remember that time we were playing a game in France?” He began, immediately failing to mask a smile as the memories rushed back, “We were so high off the win somehow we all convinced you to come and drink with us at some bar after the match.” Of course Sae remembered— as much as he could in his inebriated state, “It ended up with you vomiting in the uber, as well as my hotel bathroom, and you also slept in my hotel bed leaving me with the horribly uncomfortable couch. Not a great look for the high and mighty, prestigious Itoshi Sae. Honesty, I didn't even recognize you, never in a million years did I think you could act like that.” Bunny laughed to himself as he recounted the suppressed memory.

The memories came back to Sae clear as day. He was still young, sixteen, it’d been the first time he drank— he always refused the team celebrations, seeing them as lukewarm—they still are. Yet, he came, he drank—a lot—learned he couldn’t hold his liquor. He remembered the uber part, Bunny apologizing and tipping the guy extra as he dragged Sae out with arms around him, and he remembered waking up the next morning in Bunny’s hotel room. The rest, an embarrassing blur, the entire mishap embarrassing, he tried so hard to forget, but Bunny couldn’t even if he tried.

“I made myself sick, you know those weren’t my actions,” Sae retorted with a sigh, “…and that was partially your fault you wouldn’t stop handing me drinks.”

“You still drank them. I was being kind.” Bunny said quickly with a shrug. As he was speaking the bartender placed the drinks he ordered in front of him, he thanked her quickly, and just as hastily returned his attention to Sae, “Speaking of me giving you drinks… here.” He said while placing one of the two shot glasses in front of him.

Sae shot him a dirty look, “You really think I want to take drinks from you, especially after that story.”

“You will!” Bunny said enthusiastically, he nudged the shot glass closer to him as the smile on his face grew. He eyes met Sae’s and he watched him for a while not daring to break eye-contact. Then he spoke, “You never liked fruity drinks. I know you don't want to finish that.”

Sae explained again, “I’m still not taking a drink from you.”

Bunny perked up, “I get it.” He let out a long dramatic sigh, for attention, before he commented with a somber tone, “You still can't hold your liquor.” Bait, it was obvious bait, as obvious and identifiable as it could get. Sae shouldn’t be entertaining this, he knows exactly how Bunny works, he knows everything about him, his actions, and demeanor. He knows this is bait to get his way, he knows it. Yet… despite Bunny likely being correct, Sae couldn’t let him know that.

Sae’s eyebrows furrowed as he frowned and asked, “What?”

Sae reached over, grabbing the shot glass, and he tilted his head back slightly as he swallowed the liquid. It burned, it was familiar and unfamiliar, he hardly drank, it was an occasional activity. After he swallowed he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and set the glass down and scowled at Bunny.

Bunny’s eyes grew wide, and he smiled huge, “Haha!” He laughed, he truly laughed. Then he patted Sae’s back, “Good job, Sae-chan!” He cheered as he brutally butchered the honorific. He was excited, overjoyed that he threw the bait, and reeled Sae in.

Sae smacked his hand and pushed it off him as he said annoyed, “Quit!”

Bunny’s laughter still rang in his ears as watched as Bunny waved his hand, and flagged down the bartender again. Sae shouldn’t entertain this, he should’ve felt triumph in taking the shot, and shutting Bunny down. He should walk away, tell Bunny to order for himself, or bother a fan. However, Sae remained seated next to him as he spoke to the bartender and ordered another round.

When the drinks arrived they drank at the same time, in unison, the bartender only got a few steps away before Bunny spoke to her again.

Luna left to dance with a few others a while ago, this was Sae’s perfect chance to leave; the obnoxious blonde wouldn’t see him in time to drag him back. Instead, he remained, trading shots with Bunny by the bar as he got increasingly more drunk.

This was a bad idea. This is stupid. Why are you entertaining this? All of these thoughts dissipated or were shoved to the back of his brain as he grabbed the glass again and took another shot.

Itoshi Sae could not hold his liquor. Sae believed that Bunny Iglesias was wrong about most things, but he hit the bullseye with his observation. By now, after a few rounds, the bar felt hot and even stuffier than before. Sae’s face was flushed, and he knew he was drunk, but when the drinks were placed in front of him, he drank again. The bar stool was suddenly comfortable, the bar and its flashing lights that were once an annoyance were less of, Sae was relaxed.

After he drank he waited for Bunny to flag their poor bartender down, and order again— Sae would drink again, he needed to prove a point to him on and off the field. But, when she walked by again he passed her a large bill of cash.

Sae immediately perked up, “What are you doing?” He asked.

Bunny raised an eyebrow, “You are drunk, Sae.”

Sae clicked his tongue, “I am not.”

Bunny let out soft laughter as he stood up off of the bartstool, “Come on.” He said. He then reached out a hand and placed it on Sae’s back.

“Don’t touch me, Iglesias.” Sae reprimanded, and he pushed Bunny’s hand off of him again like he did prior— however long ago that was— time was beginning to blur together. Sae placed one hand on the bar counter to steady himself, but as he stood up he felt himself stumble— he had definitely drank far too much. Bunny wrapped an arm over his shoulder and helped him up, keeping him steady, Sae didn’t push him off, he knew if he did he would just trip over himself, fall over, and embarrass himself further.

The last thing Sae could remember at that moment was Bunny’s question, “I’ll call a cab to your hotel. Where are you staying?” He knew how this looked, leaning against his rival's head on his shoulder, his own arm around his neck, on the cold sidewalk in the dead of night.

At some point, the cab arrived, time was still a messy blend of moments together, and Sae had his head against the half open window. He kept his eyes shut trying to avoid getting sick again, if he did with Bunny in the backseat next to him again he would truly never live it down.

Somehow without causing a disturbance and getting escorted out by hotel security. Bunny helped him into the elevator and up to his room. It was far past midnight and Sae was ready for bed. He wasn’t even certain he still had his phone, but his room key was still in his pocket so that would suffice for now. They both stood outside of his as Sae’s tired hands raised the keycard to the doorknob, it buzzed then turned green, and unlocked a second later.

Sae didn’t expect Bunny to follow him in, and he hissed, “What’re you doing?”

Bunny replied simply, “I convinced you to drink this much. I owe it to you to make sure you get home.”

“I didn’t need you to take me home.” It was unconvincing, especially because the words came out slurred.

Bunny just smiled and closed the door behind him, then he continued pestering with obnoxious questions, “Do you need help with anything? I could help you bathe?” Sae was rapidly getting a headache.

“Die.”

Bunny shrugged and then his next request was just as absurd, “Give me your keycard.”

Sae furrowed his brows, taken aback that he would even suggest something as foolish as that, “Absolutely not.”

“Oh come on. There is a shop down the road from here. I doubt you have any medicine.” Bunny explained, a hand fell on his hip as he continued, “This hangover is going to kill you tomorrow, let me go buy something.”

Sae snorted, “Why would you care?”

“Your team is pretty awful, Sae.” He deadpanned, entirely serious, yet that happy smile and cheerful tone remained. He nonchalantly explained, “I need to have you play well in the rest of our practice matches or I’ll have no fun!”

Sae should’ve shook him off and dealt with the pain tomorrow, it was better than trusting that rabbit, but the pain from the headache was already hitting him, and his hindered judgement made him agree. He held out the keycard towards Bunny as he mumbled, “Fine.”

Bunny left only a second later, and Sae took the moment of peace and quiet to change out of slacks and the button down shirt he was wearing. He shrugged the black coat he wore off his shoulders first, then changed the other two articles of clothing. He found himself quickly falling asleep once he laid down on the mattress, he was drowsy from the alcohol and relaxed, the bed feeling extremely comfortable at that very moment.

The sound of the large hotel door closing was enough to wake him up. He was in and out of sleep to begin with, it almost felt like he was lucid dreaming, he sat up slightly to peer over at the door, and then he laid back down when he realized who it was.

It was just Bunny, he actually came back. He had a plastic bag in his hands, and he was quiet as he came in— besides the door. He walked over to the side of the bed Sae laid upon, looking at him for a moment before looking down at the bag in his hands. He fumbled with the bag, the rustling of plastic like nails on the chalkboard, any sound no matter how small made his head hurt worse and worse. It didn’t help that he was still flushed and hot, the bed was comfortable, but now he was not. Bunny pulled out a small medicine bottle, and a few plastic water bottles that he sat on the dresser beside the bed, and then he pulled the keycard in his pocket out and placed it beside everything else.

Bunny turned around to leave without saying anything else assuming Sae was asleep, or even if he did stir he wouldn’t remember tomorrow.

“Bunny.” The name caught Bunny off-guard immediately— Sae had been sticking to Iglesias all night, and it was soft, his harsh tone used directly towards Bunny disappearing.

Bunny turned around, and he gazed at Sae his eyes were now fixed upon him from where he lay on his hotel bed drifting in and out of sleep. Then he spoke, “Sae.” Just his name, as he waited for Sae to continue.

Sae pushed himself up, sitting up slightly, his hair was rustled and now messy, his eyes half-lidded as he muttered incoherently, a string of words he couldn’t quite put together properly so it came out jumbled. He should’ve just stopped speaking, shut his mouth, slept it off, and if he remembered tomorrow maybe he could unblock him and say it then. However, he was on a streak of bad decisions tonight.

Bunny raised an eyebrow, “What?” He let out a soft chuckle as he watched him.

Sae’s teal eyes captured his, as he said barely above a whisper, “I miss you.” He shook his head a second later and tore his eyes away, “No, not you, I miss what we had—whatever it was.” It was still an almost confession in a silent room, incoherent, formed and only said because he wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Sae.” He warned. He frowned for a moment then a smile grew on his face as he continued, “You are so incredibly drunk I don’t think you understand what you are saying.”

Sae should’ve listened, admitted he was drunk, and just blabbering stupid thoughts because of the stupid alcohol but he continued, “I do.”

Bunny didn’t reply, he didn’t smile like he usually did when Sae said anything, he just pursed his lips and watched him while holding his breath.

“This is why we can’t be friends— even acquaintances.” Sae shook his head again and turned away from him, pulling the blanket up and over himself even though his body was flushed and hot. Nothing he did made much logical sense.

He expected Bunny to actually walk out now, he didn’t have anything else he wanted to say. But Bunny kept talking, sober Sae would've expected it, he was relentless and annoyingly persistent. So of course he continued, “I don't know why you’re so hung up on me.” He confessed. Sae wasn’t “hung up” Itoshi Sae didn’t get hung up, his impaired self ignored his foolish words. The next sentence Bunny said was partially a question and partially a statement— they both knew the answer as he spoke, “I was kind of a dick?”

Sae raised an eyebrow, “Kind of? You were. I don’t get it either.” He let out a sigh as he collapsed on his back on the mattress staring up aimlessly at the ceiling. He refused to make eye-contact with Bunny, he didn’t want to see his expression, especially as he said, "That's why I hate you.”

He didn’t know the expression Bunny made, how his face likely contorted at his words, maybe he smiled, maybe he kept a poker-face like Sae did at all times when he was sober, or maybe he just smiled, Sae wasn’t sure but he was sure that he did reply.

“I hate you too, Sae.” Bunny replied, low and missing that cheery sarcasm he usually had. This was a borderline confession, they both knew what hate was a substitute for.

Sae refused to acknowledge it, that was a sober problem, not a half asleep drunk one. So, he yawned, ignored it, and then he stretched his arms, before complaining, “Let me sleep now.”

“I can do that.” Bunny said, softly smiling, looking at him one last time before he turned to leave the room, “Goodnight, Sae” He said before he walked out of the door. He peaked his head back in the door before it shut shouting, “Drink some water before you pass out too!” And then he was gone. Footsteps heading down the carpeted hallway.

—

Sae was fourteen when he left, on a plane with just his manager, and his family left behind in Japan. He was furthering that dream he shared with his brother, finally playing in proper leagues, leaving that lukewarm sport Japan improperly called football— it wasn’t the true football he would be exposed to in the greater real world. It was disrespectful to associate the sport with the same name. Japanese football was lukewarm, and it took Sae little time to understand that fact.

Sae was fourteen when he was assigned a roommate he knew he would never click with. He was extroverted and annoying, he brought too many people back to the room to hangout— he was used to being alone in the dorm, and another person, Sae, disrupted his equation. He was loud, too cheerful, and eager. He was also outgoing, Sae enjoyed the nights he chose to celebrate with the Re Al team, they didn’t really speak at first, and he enjoyed the silent time to himself when he had the dorm room all alone. His roommate was no different than his lukewarm teammates, poking fun, teasing him, and even belittling him when the opportunity presented itself. He considered this hazing, he was new, foreign, and different, never having played football like this before. He knew being the “new guy” would have a multitude of drawbacks.

This roommate of his was littered in scars, he noticed in the showers after a match one day, his curiosity getting the better of him as he wondered if the large scar on his face was the only one. It was not. He wondered if he used his fake jovial demeanor as a facade for something else, he hardly knew the guy, almost everything about him a part of a growing mystery. He didn’t care. He was no better than the rest of the team, he was just like them, and that was enough for Sae to keep his distance. They shared a room, slept on opposite sides in separate beds, they shared a bathroom, and practically consumed half of the other's time by just being roommates and never spoke to one another. Sae would ignore Bunny; he usually just teased him or said nothing of importance at all. That was the relationship they had.

Sae spent extra time practicing, Spain and the rest of the world completely shifted his close-minded perspective on football, and he needed to improve, get better if he wanted to become the world's greatest striker. Especially when playing forward alongside and against that annoying roommate of his, he couldn’t deny how talented he was, that was why they were on the same team after all. Even as the moon hung overhead and he knew he would feel the exhaustion tomorrow he had to keep going, keep practicing, keep improving to play on the same level as these geniuses. Once they pulled away he knew his dreams were unforeseeable and over.

A stray ball was kicked his way and he dodged it. He turned his head to face the person who was there. Tall and leaning against the door, lilac hair sideparted over one side of his face, halfway covering a large scar, and crimson eyes, it was his roommate: Bunny Iglesias. He waved a hand, another football tucked under his other arm. He smiled wide at Sae, “Can I join you?” He asked.

Sae just nodded. He figured he could practice his shots with the other person there, there was enough space for another person. As long as he kept his distance and kept to himself nothing would change.

His knowledge of the boy now would tell him he was foolish for thinking Bunny would keep to himself. He immediately started speaking to him, “You started putting your bangs up.” He commented. He didn’t step far onto the field before he sat down, hunched over with poor posture— not technically joining him— the football sat in his lap, and he just stared at Sae.

Sae had started doing that. He wasn’t quite sure when, most of his team made fun of them, their length that they were too short, but they also commented that his vision must be obscured when he missed passes or shots, a contradiction. They were just talking to talk, teasing to poke fun at him, and at some point he pushed them up with hairspray to avoid anything all together.

Sae kicked another shot, and he watched it curve into the goal before he wiped the sweat from his forehead with his forearm, and he pulled up the collar of his jersey to wipe the sweat from his face. He stopped shooting for a moment, turning to face Bunny before he asked, “So what?”

“I was hoping my teasing wasn’t the reason.” He explained, he still wore that smile with nothing behind it. Then his regular and expectant behavior began again, teasingly claiming, “You did look cute with them down...”

Sae sighed, and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingertips, “No one else is here you can quit it, you’re obnoxious.” He shook him off, and diverted his attention back to the football on the grass below him.

Bunny laughed unabashedly, “Do you think I do it because of them?”

Sae kicked the football hard and unfocused, its trajectory was off and it bounced against the goalpost, as he muttered, “I was hoping.”

Bunny just laughed, he finally stood up, and started practicing alongside Sae. However, even then he was still insufferable, he was like a backseat driver, guiding, and pestering Sae with unsolicited advice.

Sae felt himself growing tired as the time passed, but he was determined to keep practicing. He took a short break, sitting on the edge of the field, feet in the grass, as he sipped on a water bottle consistently. He watched Bunny, he got to see his pure talent upclose, how meticulous, and great he was even when he wasn’t trying. His ego matched his skill, no matter how much it would piss Sae off.

Bunny looked over at him after a long silence, “Why do you play football?” He asked a question that wasn’t annoying, whether genuine or to fill the awkward gap of silence it made him slightly more tolerable.

“I will become the world's greatest striker, that is why I play, my ego.” Sae answered, honestly.

Sae watched his lips upturn quickly, and a stupid expression filled his face as he laughed abhorrently, his ugly laugh was deafening. Sae felt himself grow irritated at his response. Bunny hunched over holding himself up with his palms on his knees, his head dipped down as he continued to mock him. Sae didn’t say anything, just watched, and soon their eyes met as Bunny lifted his head up, craning his neck to meet him with a smile still present, “I should’ve figured you’d have a crazy ego.”

“So what?”

“It’s fitting… for you.” Bunny began slowly. He stood up straight, fixing his posture as he stretched, “Makes sense on why you practice so much, you have improved, you were like a headless chicken when you arrived— I was about to beg Luna to kick you off the team.”

Sae’s eyebrows furrowed and he felt his disdain towards him grow, “What?”

“But I didn’t!” He reasoned, shaking his hands towards the frustrated Sae, “I saw the potential in you, and you improved quickly.”

Sae rolled his eyes, “I don’t need your approval.”

Bunny smiled, and he promptly changed the conversation, “Play one on one with me then.”

After that day Sae found Bunny to be far more tolerable, the only tolerable person at Re Al.

—

Sae woke up with his head shoved into the pillows as he tried to transfer his pounding headache into them. He let out a long groan that was muffled by the fabric before lifting his head up. His hair was a tangled mess, everything hurt, and he could hardly remember what happened the night prior. He remembers the bar, Luna’s annoyance, he was almost as persistent as Bunny, and he remembers Bunny— that stupid bait he took, he should’ve ignored him, he wishes he did, now because of the state he is in. He knows Bunny brought him back, then he fell asleep, everything between and before a blurry haze he could barely piece together. He dropped his head back down into the pillow for a long moment, before using both hands to push himself up.

He grabbed the medicine bottle from the side of the bed, fumbling with it, the child-lock already bypassed, it was halfway open with the lid barely attached, he took the lid off and poured a few pills into his hand before placing them in his mouth. He unscrewed one of the two water bottles, drinking it, and swallowing the pills down. He was in no state to go to the practice in an hour, so he didn’t, already content with the idea of skipping. The next day they wouldn’t have a friendly match so he could practice that day by himself— he would be fine.

Before he went to shower and wash the filth and grime from the bar off of his body, he fumbled with his phone, and quickly pressed ‘unblock’ on Bunny’s social media without thinking on it at all, no hesitation. He didn’t need to rationalize all of his actions. After that, he found himself under the stream of a cold shower.

He expected Luna to chew him out, he benched him last game, and now he wasn’t playing at all in the next. It was partly if not entirely his fault though, he was persistent, and begging until Sae couldn’t take it anymore, he's the reason he is so hungover. It was better that he was vomiting in his hotel bathroom rather than in those disgusting trash cans at the practice match.

Sae ordered room service and instead of breakfast he got sea food, specifically salmon. Then he sighed, checking the clock, it was a few minutes past noon, the game was starting soon, and he flopped back down onto his bed, he laid down with his head in the pillow, eyes shut but not entirely asleep as he waited. Eventually there was a knock on his door, he sat on the edge of his bed as he ate, the television in front of him playing sports commentary he half-mindedly paid attention to.

After a few hours of doing practically nothing beside clicking through the few channels repetitively on the hotel television his phone went off. The game was long over and he expected it to be Luna. Instead, it was Rin.

“How was the game today?”

“I’m not sure. I didn't go.”

He waited, watching the chat bubble from Rin type, appear, then disappear a few times over until he sent another message.

“Since when do you not go to a game?”
“And I thought you hated Barcha?”

A double text of confused questions. Sae laughed to himself in his head, he could hear Rin’s voice as he read the messages to himself. He didn’t care to lie to Rin, he was an adult anyway so he responded quickly and simply:

“I’m hungover.”

“Since when do you get hungover?”

Every response from Rin was another question, and the replies were much quicker than they had been previously. Either Rin was very curious, or the wall between them was crumbling faster now. Truthfully, Sae replied.

“It was a one time thing.”

It was also foolish of him— he still wasn’t sure why he was entertaining that rabbit, but he left that part out of his message. Sae laughed to himself once again as he read the next message from Rin.

“I thought you messaging me was weird. You’re just being weird all together.”
“Is this even Itoshi Sae I'm talking to?”

Sae disliked both messages.
“Yes.”

Sae went out for dinner, he was wearing something casual with a hat over his head, and because of that he didn’t bother to push his bangs back. He was trying his best to conceal his identity from anyone who would recognize him. He wasn’t in the mood, frankly, he never was. The cold breeze was nice against his skin, the fresh air was nice, his hotel room grew stuffy the longer he spent in there. He went to a small diner to eat his dinner, it wasn’t very busy, and the food was fine.

When he returned to his hotel room he showered, went through his skincare routine, and got himself ready for bed. He would call it an early night, and practice on his own tomorrow— they had no planned games anyway.

When he changed and sat on his bed, the towel draped over his shoulders, capturing the water from his dripping hair, he observed the messages on his phone. This time from Luna, it was only a matter of time after all.

“I at least expected a message if you were going to skip the game. You might be a prodigy, but even you aren’t above the rules.”

“At least I won't pester you to drink with us again, Bunny was right you have no tolerance.”

Sae scowled as he read the second message, he knew he had told other people, Luna was on the team then, obviously he was much older than them.

“Barcha has a game tomorrow against Manshine you have to go observe. I was going to but since you didn’t attend the game I expect good notes on their players. Also you can’t get out of this! You know the power I have over you! Have fun Sae!”

Sae should’ve figured something like this would happen. He was never returning to Barcelona. Bad decisions and horrible consequences are soon to be all he associates with it, besides Bunny, who isn’t better, he is worse. Vomiting in those gross trash cans sounded much better than this. The game wasn’t until later, at least, but the last thing he wanted was to go watch one of their games. He should’ve been practicing instead. No wasn’t something he could say to this, especially when Luna ordered it.

—

The next day, Sae practiced in the morning for as long as he could before he had to leave to attend the match.

Soon he found himself in the crowd of a FC Barcha game. He was surrounded by fans sharing the same magenta and black jersey, far too many having Iglesias jerseys, Sae believes they should invest in the jerseys of the other lukewarm Barcha members. Despite not wanting to be there, he paid attention, there was a good chance he could find something to help them in future games against Barcha, and he was there, he might as well bring back useful information for himself— not Luna.

The morning was quite warm for a winter day, enough for him to decide to just wear a white button up, and slacks to the game. The game dragged into evening, it was long, and Barcha was blowing the other team out of the water. It wasn’t even fair.

Barcha’s defense was great, and they were making quick plays, and scoring frequently. Although, according to Sae, their midfielders could be better, the passes were lukewarm, fine, they connected, but they were weak, especially towards Bunny, there was wide room for improvement.

Bunny scored two of the four goals their team made. 4-1 was the final score. Just as he always did Bunny shot the camera that familiar hand gesture he always made with a wide smile on his face as he did.

Once the game ended and the crowd began to file out. Excited Barcha fans and disappointed Manshine fans grouping together. Sae waited until he got outside the stadium before he called Dabadie, and requested he order an uber for him to the stadium— it was too noisy and he was being bumped too frequently to call prior. The sun had already set by the time he stepped out, he was leaning against the concrete wall, his phone now comfortably placed in his pocket. A breeze made his shiver, it was cold now, the sun not providing much needed heat, but he was fine, his driver would be there soon, and he’d be in his hotel room once again just as quickly.

There were plenty of fans walking on the streets and sidewalks in front and beside him, others waiting for cabs or on their phones sharing the concrete wall meters away from him.

Sae leaned his tired head back, and he gazed upon the night sky above until he heard footsteps to his left, and another person occupying the space by the wall, closer than comfortable. The streets started to quiet down as people left, and others walked to nearby bars. There was plenty of space for the other person to stand, yet they chose to be uncomfortably close to Sae. Probably a fan, likely recognized him. Sae tilted his head, and his eyes fell upon the person, and he felt his expression change in an instant. His eyebrows furrowed, then he pursed his lips, and he didn’t say anything, keeping silent.

However, the man to his right with that obnoxious lilac hair, crimson eyes, and that ugly smile spoke up immediately, “I didn’t think you enjoyed Barcha’s games.” He commented with a cheery tone.

“I don’t.”

Bunny laughed, he kept his eyes on Sae even though Sae didn’t look in his direction, he could feel the eyes burning him in his peripheral vision, “That’s exactly why you are here because you don’t enjoy the games.”

Sae scowled, “I’m here because I missed practice yesterday.”

Bunny grinned as he teased, “You’re still scared of Luna.” He said in a singsong voice.

“I am not scared of him.” Sae corrected, he shook his head and finally gazed at Bunny, teal eyes looking up to meet his as he explained, “I’m here to study your team, it has nothing to do with Luna. It makes up for the lost practice.”

As they spoke, looking at one another, it began to lightly snow, it wasn’t cold enough for it to stick to the concrete, but it was still snowing. Bunny didn’t break eye-contact as he went back to teasing him, waving a hand as he replied, “Yeah, yeah whatever, study my gameplay after practicing with me all week. In person at that. This is such a Luna punishment.” Bunny turned away from Sae, looking straightforward at the falling snow in front of them. Then, Bunny shrugged as he dismissed the previous conversation, and he changed the topic, “Aren’t you cold?”

Sae shot him a dirty look as he replied, “No.” Then he turned away, facing forward to watch the falling snow with his own eyes.

Bunny nodded as he turned his eyes to meet Sae again, “Uh huh, that was convincing.” Sae only rolled his eyes in response. So, Bunny continued, “If you get sick how are you supposed to crush me?”

“So what? I’m not going to get sick from this, it’s not even cold.” Sae replied.

Bunny shrugged off his jacket as he responded, “It’s snowing, Sae.”

Sae reiterated his previous point, “My ride will be here soon. I am fine.” He furrowed his brows, and turned to meet Bunny’s gaze before he continued, “Don’t you have more important places to be? You always loved to celebrate a win, why aren't you doing that?” He asked.

“It's difficult to leave when you're in the crowd. You distracted me… I could’ve scored a hattrick.” Bunny replied, an honest response, that fake smile left his face as his expression was neutral as he spoke. He groaned in complaint. “We barely talk.”

Sae gritted his teeth, did he hit his head and forgot that night in the snow, and he replied, “There’s a reason for that.”

"There shouldn't be.” Bunny shrugged, and he held out his jacket towards Sae. He watched his expression as he explained, “You can toss it in the garbage, sell it for money, burn it, just wear it, okay? I would hate it if u got sick, next match is our last.”

“Quit it.” Sae hissed, he crossed his arms, and ignored him, “We aren't like that anymore.”

Bunny nudged the jacket towards him again as he stupidly suggested, “We could be?”

Sae glared at him, “You’re the reason we aren't." Sae attempted to say, but the words died in his throat and he kept his lips pursed as he swallowed the statement back down.

Bunny sighed, smiling at him even though Sae was glaring, “You are stupidly stubborn!” He whined. He then stepped forward in front of Sae, and he draped the jacket with “Iglesias” stitched on the back over his shoulders before Sae could speak in protest. He knew Sae wouldn’t admit that he was right, so he left before he could hand it back, stepping away, as he gleefully said, “See-ya sae!” While waving.

Sae closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, he didn’t move, fearing if he did the jacket would harm him. He was branded with his name and it was shameful, embarrassing. He kept it on for the remaining duration he leaned against the concrete, and as the car pulled up he finally shrugged his off, removing it, and shoving it under his arm, hiding the name from the world as he climbed into the backseat.

—

The next morning, before practice, as he exited the bathroom after his long moisturizing routine, and putting his bangs back with hairspray he heard a knock on the door.

He walked over, feet stomping against the hardwood floor as he approached the door, he expected room service or the maids. His hand wrapped around the doorknob, he pushed it down, and opened the door. There stood Bunny— he had completely forgotten that he brought him back that night, and that he knew where he was staying. His expression changed in an instant as he stared at his smiling face.

Sae snapped, “What?”

“I really hope you do what you usually do and don't take my advice.” Bunny vaguely explained, he tried to push his way in, like he owned the place, but Sae blocked the entrance, so he continued instead, sighing, “I told my manager I lost my jacket, and he got pretty mad at the thought of getting another “you better find it” he told me, so I kind of need it back.”

Sae sighed, he shut the door on Bunny knowing he wouldn’t walk away, and he went to grab the jacket that sat plainly on the chair in his room. He should’ve burned it. He picked it up and walked back to the door, he opened it, held it out, and said, “Just take it and go.”

Sae figured he would’ve been annoying, and he was right, because Bunny immediately retorted, “I can't even come in? I came all this way.”

“I’m not interested.” Sae replied as he slammed the door.

He could still hear Bunny on the other end of the door, and he knocked again, “Come on Sae! Can’t you just be civil?”

Sae needed to pack his duffle before the game, and he was interested in entertaining the rabbit any longer, “No. Go away.”

Sae waited at the door for a moment, for the next response, and then it came as Bunny tried to reason, “You unblocked me on everything.” Sae didn’t reply, the air between them and the door filled with silence, “You unblocked me. That means something.” He repeated.

“It doesn’t.” Sae finally answered, “Now go. You were here for your jacket.”

There was silence once more, Sae waited next to the large brown wooden door waiting for a response once again, but it didn’t come. Instead, he listened to the sounds of his footsteps against the carpeted hallway floors as he departed.

—

The game went on without a hitch. Madrid won, it was far easier now that Sae was playing, Bunny was benched for the first half when they took a large lead, and he almost brought the game back, but ran out of time before he could do so. The final friendly match ending in 5-3, all three goals from FC Barcha scored by Bunny.

Sae had seen enough of his face today, his presence at the door of his hotel room in the morning, his presence on the field, and he was determined to avoid him after the match as well. He left early heading towards the locker room, he quickly moisturized, changed, and left.

He successfully avoided Bunny, if he knocked on the hotel room he was determined to call security, and Sae spent the rest of the night in his hotel room. He departed on the bus once again back for Madrid after this long week in hell. He took a long much needed shower, packed his suitcase while he waited for his room service to arrive, and soon ate while flipping through the provided channels on the hotel television.

Then his phone buzzed, he assumed it was Rin, or Luna, hopefully not Luna. He grabbed his phone from where it sat on the night stand. It was neither Rin nor Luna, someone far worse who he immediately regretted unblocking in a moment of weakness: Bunny.

“You’ve really improved.”

“Great games we played against each other this week.”

Sae left him on open.

“I know you think I’m teasing you.”

“I’m not.”

Sae didn’t reply to those messages either.

He tossed his phone to the side and forced his attention back on the TV. He didn’t watch his phone to see if it lit up again with another message from Bunny, he just ignored it, shoving down the way those messages made him feel.

The next day he would head back to Madrid.