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When Amanda first finds out about her unexpected pregnancy she manages to maintains her composure, certain that she’s going to figure this out on her own.
She decides to keep it a secret from the Squad as long as she can, even though she knows Olivia suspects something. After countless trips to the bathroom during work the morning sickness, despite it’s name, lasts throughout the day, making it harder for her to keep her pregnancy a secret.
The SVU squad figures out her secret and they’re happy for her, despite the circumstances of how she became pregnant. Amanda soothes her friend’s concerns as soon as they come up, telling everyone she’s determined to be just fine on her own. After all it’s not like she’s the first one to go through this without a partner.
Olivia however, sees right through her charade. She was in the very same situation with Noah. She knows how hard it is to be on your own, to be alone, when your child just won’t stop crying.
She also knows Amanda well enough to know that she shouldn’t be alone in this. Olivia knows Amanda deserves better, of that she is sure.
Amanda realizes late one night that she can, in fact, not do this completely on her own. Panic rises inside her chest and no matter how hard she tries to shake this feeling off, it just won’t go away.
It’s midnight as Amanda finds herself driving to Olivia’s apartment, desperate for someone to assuage her fears.
Amanda knocks quietly as to not wake noah. As Olivia opens the door she’s surprised, at first then it fades as she had sensed that Amanda would need someone to talk to eventually.
Olivia quietly lets her in, watching as Amanda walks down the hall, her seven month belly making it increasingly harder to move around with ease.
Thankfully Noah is asleep in his own room and after getting herself and Amanda a glass of water Olivia settles down next to Amanda on the couch, ready to listen to all the worries and doubts Amanda has about motherhood.
It doesn’t take long before tears start streaming down Amanda’s cheeks, heavy sobs wracking her petite frame as she curls up in Olivia’s arms. Amanda feels safe here. She has ever since Olivia found her during the undercover sting where her cover was blown, She knew her darkest secret and didn’t treat her any differently.
Olivia simply holds her until her tears run dry, her heart calms down, and her breathing steadies. Olivia’s own heart aches for the other woman, knowing how heavy hers must be.
She tells Amanda she’s not alone, never was, and never will be alone again. Through tears Amanda manages a small, grateful smile.
In return the kiss Olivia presses against her temple is a silent promise. It is an expression of love; all the words she cannot say, and all the words she doesn’t have to say, because Amanda understands.
Olivia looks at the clock below her television and decides its best they try to sleep. They go to Olivia’s bedroom together, Amanda’s heart a little less heavy and Olivia’s heart quietly growing with love for their unborn child.
Three Months Later
Amanda gives birth to a beautiful, healthy little girl with Olivia right by her side, beaming down at her. She sees the way Amanda is looking at their daughter. So much love in her eyes and her heart grows once more when Amanda places the girl in her arms for the very first time. She holds their daughter Jessie close to where her heart beats, for her, for them, for Noah. As she thinks what a wonderful big brother Noah is going to be when they can finally take her home.
The bliss of new motherhood finally sets in for Amanda as she watches her partner hold their daughter for the first time and she feels as though she can conquer the world as long as they’re by her side.