Chapter Text
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I've had so many friends
Who've left me on a whim
Suddenly cut ties for reasons that I can't explain
And yet I end up feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause if everybody loved me
I must be doing something wrong, right?
It’s the only thing I can think of at night
People shouldn’t make the same mistake twice
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Do I Deserve It by Sushi Soucy
Miya sat up in his bed, sheets rustling softly. He paused, quietly cursing as a wave of dizziness hit him. He felt like shit. Probably due to the lack of sleep. He had, what, 4 hours last night? His sleep schedule wasn’t especially good before joining S, and it definitely wasn’t getting any better now.
He moved slowly, nose crinkling as he tried to ignore the distinct feeling that he was about to collapse. Inadvertently giving himself a moment to regain balance, Miya checked the time from his clock…4:30 am. Damn. Might as well get ready now, maybe he could get some skating in before school. Something he did often, whenever his stupid subconscious decided to fuck him over.
Minutes later, he was pulling on a long-sleeved undershirt, careful to hide anything unsavory before slipping his usual hoodie on over it. It's been maybe a day since he last-////. He glanced over himself once more. Miya had gotten a couple of piercings recently—his parents didn't really care as long as they were only in his ears. But God, he wished he were able to get others. Honestly, they probably wouldn't say anything as long as it wasn't visible. They just cared about their precious PR.
Feeling satisfied, the boy quietly left his house, board in front of him and backpack resting on his shoulders. Miya hopped on, reveling in the glide of wheels on pavement. He’d already passed the usual route to school, instead going down an alleyway that served as a shortcut to the nearest skate park.
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Miya arrived at school a little sweaty but on time. He didn’t really want to deal with the subtle stares and low murmurs, but he would be fucked if his grades dropped any more.
English wasn’t horrible, Math was okay, Science was fun, Social Studies was odd, but his least favorite will always be P.E. Miya just disliked the effort it took to get a decent grade. He’s pretty sure that the teacher hated him. He’s not the only one. When lunch came, he hid as usual. People (really just the teachers) couldn't notice his nonexistent eating habits if they didn’t see him. Not that anyone would care. Why would they?
The only thing he could look forward to was S; he supposed that included hanging out with the others. I mean, there’s no way they’d leave, right? They care, Joe and Cherry at least, and Reki promised. That's at least three of them. Langa…would stay if Reki’s there and that clown, Shadow, has nothing better to do. They won’t leave. They can't leave.
As soon as the bell rang, Miya was skating out of the building. The wind whipped his hair backward, and he was going as fast as he safely could. He wished he didn’t have practice with his manager today, but at least he could still go to S today, and by extension, Sia la Luce.
Miya hated practice with a passion; though he really just hated his manager. It was okay, in the beginning, but he’s been pushed past his limit far too many times. Skateboarding was supposed to be fun. Not…this. It just felt empty, startlingly so once he realized. Like there was nothing inside him. Nothing at all. He was nothing.
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The skater was exhausted but had already decided to go to S tonight. The short ride to Sia la Luce was mildly annoying, especially with the sky deciding to pour on the way. Almost as if it were mourning the loss of Miya’s light for him. Of course, the rain was harsh enough to get him soaked by the time he reached the restaurant.
The sign was turned to closed, but the lights were on, laughter ringing out even outside the building. The others were already here, he supposed. He almost didn't want to go in, fearing he would bring the mood down by looking like a wet cat, but convinced himself to push the door open anyway.
As soon as Miya walked in, board in hand, the other skaters turned to glance at him. Cherry disappeared to the back at the sight of his sorry state, presumably to grab a towel or something akin to that. Probably just because he was annoyed by the water beginning to drench the floor.
“Whoa, Miya, you’re soaked!” Reiki yelped, looking him up and down. Langa nodded, in that subtle way he tends to react. Of course, always agreeing with his beloved Reki. Miya scowled, verily annoyed. It seemed like he was too tired to fix his face today.
“No shit, Sherlock.” He said flatly, a growl slipping into his voice as he rolled his eyes. Before Reki could make a retort, Cherry returned with a fluffy blue towel. The man walked up and carefully wrapped it around Miya. It barely did anything to the chill beginning to seep into his bones, but he supposed the gesture was nice. At least he thinks so. He didn’t exactly have too much experience with people genuinely being nice to him. They always wanted something from him, so maybe Cherry was like that, too. He hoped he wasn’t like that.
“Here, so you don’t catch a cold.” The hint of annoyance in his voice told Miya he’d be getting yelled at later. Or at least chided.
He just nodded, feeling oddly empty at the moment. Just like he felt during practice. Maybe he just pushed himself too hard. He’s fine.
Miya sat with them, water still dripping onto the floor despite the towel. He hated the way his clothes clung to his skin, shifting uncomfortably periodically as if ensuring they weren’t glued to his body.
He glanced up at the sound of a chair scraping against the floor. Joe had stood up, presumably to get Miya some of the food the others were already eating. (it was spaghetti and garlic toast. ew.) He shook his head, stomach already turning at the thought of finally getting some food to digest. No, he couldn't give up now. Not when he’s already worked so hard to get to where he is.
“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled quickly, before Joe could go back into the kitchen. The older man frowned for a moment with a small tilt of his head before speaking.
“Are you okay, kid?”