Work Text:
Takeshi knew the day would come. As much as he wished it wasn't true, Kai was bound to Kei in a way he could never compete with.
He imagined what it would be like to actually meet Kei Nagai, but most of his scenarios ended in a fight.
It was certainly hypocritical, him being angry about someone taking advantage of Kai's kindness, but he couldn't help it. Somewhere along the line he'd taken too much comfort in Kai's smile, his gentle touches, his sweet words, and Takeshi didn't want to give them up to someone who may never have understood their true value.
Kai got his way, just as Takeshi promised. He didn't even try to argue when Kai came to him with the idea, knowing it would be helpless. At first he almost enjoyed the escape, Kai by his side. Still, the emotional weight of the situation made it difficult to enjoy what he had before. Even the sense of freedom riding his ghost was all but extinguished by the idea of flying it toward Kei. Worse, every time he felt Kai's body against his, it was only a reminder of all he would lose by bringing him back.
"Do you love him, Kaito?"
Kai wouldn't meet his eyes when he asked. Takeshi couldn't pin down why, because there were far too many options.
"If you think whatever you say is gonna change the way I feel about you now, you're dumber than I thought."
That got a smile, albeit a sad, almost broken one.
"Of course I do...He's my friend," came a quiet response.
"But he means more to you than that, right?"
"I can't answer that the way you want me to," Kai said, staring at the ground. Takeshi narrowed his eyes, more confused than ever.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Kai's hands were on Takeshi's shoulders a moment later. He finally looked up, and pulled him a little closer. He looked unsure, and his grip got just a little tighter. Every part of him was silently begging not to answer the question, for Takeshi to ask him anything else.
"What do you want from me, Kotobuki? Do you want to be what he is?"
I want you to choose.
I want you to think about us, the way we've treated you.
I want you to pick who you think really cares for you.
"I want for you to be happy. That's all."
"I'm not sure the kind of happiness I want is possible," Kai admitted. His hands ran down Takeshi's arms, all the way to his hands.
"But for now, if that's what you really want, just promise you’ll stay."
The slight pressure of Kai’s hands around his felt crushing pared with the weight that seemed to have suddenly dropped onto his shoulders. The two things he wanted most were irreconcilable, he finally realized. Kai would never feel happy knowing he’d given up one of the people he cared about, and that guilt would only transfer to the person he did stay with.
So what was there to do, but just bear it?
“I’ll never leave your side, Kaito.”