Chapter Text
Luffy feels like screaming and she doesn't know what to do about that.
She curls in on herself in her bed, wrapping her blanket around her and trying hard not to cry.
She hates that she's feeling like this, she knows they were only joking after all.
She also feels so angry, which she also doesn't know how to deal with.
She just keeps replaying the words in her head, the words her friend had said.
She knows he didn't actually mean those words, that he doesn't think she's ‘stupid’ or ‘spineless’, but he says them so often, and in a certain tone, that she doesn't think he's joking anymore.
She hasn't told anyone what Sanji had said to her, what he called her, how he treated her.
She doesn't know if she should if she's being entirely honest.
She's never really had friends before, all friends might just treat each other this way and she's just being sensitive.
It still hurts though, being treated like she's dumb, even if she is slow.
One of the things she hates the most though, is how controlling he can be.
She's not exactly the most stable person ever, but that doesn't mean people can just tell her what to do whenever they want, especially if it's something she doesn't want to do.
And she hates it when he tries to stop her from doing things she wants to do. Who cares if she has one small smoke, she knows it's bad for her but it's still her choice.
He reminds her of all the people in her childhood that ignored her whenever she said no or didn't want to do something. Of all the people who would yell at her if she didn't agree.
She hates the feeling of being constrained, especially when he would physically stop her from doing something and drag her away with a tight grip on her arm.
She's told him before how she doesn't like being grabbed and dragged places, how she hates prolonged touch too.
And she hates how he forces her to include his boyfriend, -Zoro- in everything she plans especially since she's told him that Zoro genuinely scares her.
She doesn't know why he decided to date him and she doesn't care, but he knows that man scares her, yet he still forces her to include him and go near him.
Zoro reminds her too much of a lot of the boys from her past, of her dad before he went clean, of how men hate girls for no real reason.
She doesn't want him near her, she's said that to pretty much all her friends.
But now with Sanji dating him, she can't get away.
She's also noticed how Sanji's changed, how he seems more aggressive than before.
When she accidentally told Nami something he told her before he did himself, he yelled at her.
Normally she wouldn't mind, she'd even understand, that was her mistake after all, she shouldn't have assumed Nami knew.
But when they talked, he yelled at her, got aggressive at her, made her feel like shit.
He got loud, and she thought he was going to hurt her, he even made her apologize for yelling first, even though she didn't, and he never did say sorry for scaring her.
And ever since that talk, she's been avoiding him.
She can't help but feel paranoid, like he's watching her, and she's been too scared to go online just in case he notices her and tries to talk to her.
He also made her feel like an object at times, not really calling her by her name and dragging her to places without her asking.
She's been hiding from him for a while now, and she can tell her other friends and brothers know that something's going on.
Her oldest brother, -Uta- had played her favourite movie last night without her even asking and her other brothers didn't even say a thing considering they all had wildly different tastes in movies.
Her second oldest brother, -Ace- had been driving her to places more often, even when he's got work, even when it makes him a bit late, he also always asks her how she's doing and stares at her when she says she's ‘fine’.
And her immediate older brother, -Sabo- had been buying all her favourite snacks and foods every time he gets home, bringing home lunch before dinner and bringing her a blanket too before just sitting with her.
She hates worrying them, but she doesn't know what to tell them.
She still doesn't know if she's going crazy or not.
She kinda hopes she is.