Work Text:
Sugawara Koushi was quite satisfied with his quiet life. After graduating from Karasuno, he had moved to Tokyo for university. Now, he taught at a primary school in the Tokyo suburbs, sharing a small apartment on the outskirts of the city with his best friend. Daichi had become a firefighter, a career that catered to his desire to help people.
He hadn't intended to stay in Tokyo—he had actually planned to move back home to Miyagi prefecture. But Suga had fallen in love with the city during university, and, when Daichi had asked if he wanted to move in with him, he had accepted without hesitation. With their combined salaries, they were able to afford a nice apartment, and it left both of them with more spending money. Besides, Suga liked living with Daichi. He was tidy, and raising his younger sisters had made him a decent cook as well.
Suga's life was nearly perfect, but fragile enough that all it took was one devastating morning to shatter it all.
The morning starts out normal enough. Suga's students are working on a set of maths problems he had given, and he is simply walking around the classroom, occasionally pausing to help a student who was stuck on a particular problem.
His phone vibrates in his pocket.
That was odd. Suga never left his phone on at work. He ignored the call, resolving to check at lunch. Wrapping up the maths lesson, albeit a bit distracted, Suga awaited lunch anxiously. His phone kept buzzing periodically, only heightening his anxiety. Suga's usual encouraging smile was strained, something he hoped his students wouldn't notice.
At lunch, Suga finally checked his phone. There were at least five missed calls, and several voicemails from an unknown number. Even stranger, there were no messages from Daichi. No 'I rescued this cat from a tree this morning' or 'Do we need anything from the store?'. Suga hadn't realized how much he had come to expect those messages until they weren't there. He presses play on the first voicemail, raising the phone to his ear.
"Hello, I am calling for Sugawara Koushi from Tokyo General Hospital. You are listed as the primary emergency contact for Sawamura Daichi. He has been injured and is in treatment here at Tokyo General."
The call continues, but Suga doesn't hear anything more. His heart has stopped beating, he thinks, a sharp pain right behind his sternum where his heart is. He stands suddenly, legs shaky and head pounding, but he is only vaguely aware of the sensations. Suga stumbles down the hall from his classroom to the administration office, vision blurry. He's sure he looks like a complete mess and there's a small voice in the back of his head warning him to pull himself together but it is easily drowned out by the voice repeating Daichi Daichi Daichi….
"I need to leave," he manages, startling the poor young woman at the desk. "Family emergency." Suga finds the description feels quite natural—he lives with Daichi after all. Daichi has been a constant in his life for so many years, his closest friend. He was the first person Suga had come out to, a year into university after he had kissed a boy from his literature class. He had been there during late night study sessions, bringing Suga slightly misshapen onigiri to make sure he took care of himself when exams got tough.
"Mr. Sugawara, I'm sorry but that won't be possible." The secretary looks genuinely apologetic as she speaks. She offers him a box of tissues, and oh, Suga is crying. He accepts, numbly, apologizing for interupting her. The walk back to his classroom has never felt longer.
The rest of the afternoon drags on. Suga knows he isn't giving his students the positivity or attention they deserve and he promises to make it up to them. He reads to the class, but his heart isn't in it. His mind is filled with memories of the last time he saw Daichi get injured.
Daichi's body, limp on the floor where he collided with Tanaka. He's not moving, and Suga feels like his world is shattering around him. He hit his head quite hard, and he isn't moving. Suga's nails dig into his palms painfully, and he finds himself repeating a silent plea for Daichi to get up. He breathes a shaky sigh of relief when Daichi groans and pushes himself up from the floor. Daichi's cheek and jaw are red from the impact, but Suga knows it will darken to a deep purple over the next few hours. He spits a tooth into his palm and his eyes widen in alarm. Daichi meets Suga's eyes, offering him a pained smile. Suga sighs, relief washing over him. Over the next few weeks, though, he flinches slightly whenever he sees the dark bruise on Daichi's face.
By the time the students leave for the day, his eyes are stinging with unshed tears and his heart is beating much harder than is comfortable. He packs his bag as quickly as possible, desperate to get to Daichi. He fumbles with his car keys, failing to unlock the door several times before finally managing it. He nearly drops the keys, grunting in frustration. Even on a good day, the drive from his school to Tokyo was just long enough to be annoying—today the drive seemed to take an eternity.
Daichi was fine. He had to be.
Suga remembers Daichi telling him once that the most common injuries among firefighters were strains and sprains. Maybe Daichi had just sprained his ankle falling from a ladder. Even as the thought crosses his mind, Suga knows deep down it isn't true. The swirling anxiety in his stomach intensifies.
He reaches the hospital in a concerningly short amount of time. Suga pulls on a mask and enters, setting his shoulders as if to brace himself. He hopes he looks more put together than he feels.
"Hi, I'm looking for Daichi- uh Sawamura Daichi? I'm Sugawara Koushi, his emergency contact." Suga pulls at a loose thread on his jacket. The receptionist doesn't look up. "I'd like to see him, if that's okay."
The receptionist remains silent, but types a few words into his computer before looking at Suga. "He is most likely unconcious. His injuries were extensive."
Suga feels like his chest is cracking open, he can't breathe. He needs to see Daichi. "Can I please see him?" He's vaguely aware that he's begging, but his pride is the least important thing at the moment.
The receptionist stares at him, a flash of something in his eyes that Suga's distraught brain can't make sense of. He nods. "Of course."
Their steps seem to echo on the blank tile of the hospital floor, the smell of antiseptic and the bright flourescent lights hurt Suga's head. He imagines they would also bother Daichi, had he been awake. The halls twist and turn, passing by countless rooms of other patients, the sound of sickness and the sickening shadow of death lurking around every corner, inside every door. They finally reach Daichi's room, a small, private room with a window on the back wall and a rather uncomfortable looking chair set beside the bed.
In the bed lies Daichi, a tube down his throat, and wires connecting him to several machines. They beep loudly, but Suga doesn't mind. It means he's alive. He races to Daichi's side, taking his hand to squeeze gently.
"I'm here, Daichi." He whispers. He's not sure if Daichi can hear him, but he doesn't care. Unsurprisingly, there's no response. He keeps talking. "I came as soon as I could, there were no substitute teachers available." Suga's eyes sweep over Daichi, taking in the bandages wrapped around his head, his arm, and feels as if they're wrapping around him as well, squeezing the breath from his lungs, the blood from his heart. His phone buzzes again, and this time he pulls it out immediately to check.
Asahi
Hey man, I just saw the news. Is Daichi okay?
Sugawara
He's in the hospital. What news?
Asahi
[link]
Suga taps on the link Asahi had sent him, hands shaking as a news report appeared on his screen.
"Several Tokyo firefighters have been severely injured after a burning building collapsed during a rescue early this morning. One man, identified by his colleages as Sawamura Daichi, re-entered the building right before its collapse, bravely managing to rescue a trapped mother and child. Sawamura sustained serious injuries and has been transported to Tokyo General Hospital for treatment."
The video ends. Typical Daichi, Suga thinks, because of course Daichi would sacrifice himself to save another person. It's why he worked as a firefighter. It's what had made him a great captain. It's why Suga loved Daichi.
Suga loved Daichi.
The realization slams into him, punching the air from his lungs in a gasp. Suga glances down at where he grips Daichi's hand and it makes sense. Their hands fit together, Daichi's rough, strong palm against Suga's own. He wishes, desperately, that this had happened under different circumstances. After dinner, one night, their hands brushing accidentally while they washed the dishes. At the store, when they both reached for the same bottle of mirin.
After, I'm going to tell him, Suga promises. The risks of Daichi's job will never go away, and maybe it's time Suga took a risk of his own. Daichi stirs, slightly, and Suga nearly throws himself to the floor as he scrambles to grab a nurse.
Warm, brown eyes meet his and Suga feels himself let out an ugly sob, all the tears and cries he had been holding back bursting from him in what must be a mortifying display. Daichi doesn't care, he reaches out weakly for Suga, resting his hand atop Suga's and brushing his thumb across his knuckles. He can't speak, the ventilator tube still down his throat. But he squeezes Suga's hand as best as he can, despite the pain in his face.
Several doctors rush in at that moment, and Suga is pushed back by the crowd surrounding Daichi's bed. He pulls at the loose thread again, waiting anxiously as the doctors mutter among themselves and check several readings Suga doesn't understand. One turns to Suga and addresses him as the others leave the room.
"Mr…"
"Sugawara," he supplies.
"Mr. Sugawara, your friend suffered a severe concussion and many superficial burns. We expect him to make a full recovery, but we need to keep him here for monitoring in case of spontaneous intracranial hematoma or other severe, but unlikely complications. It will also allow us to provide adequate pain medication for his burns." The doctor's tone is kind, but firm. She makes Daichi's condition clear, and Suga feels himself relax, the information calming the nauseating fear in his stomach.
Daichi is going to be fine.
Suga moves toward Daichi again, who no longer has a tube in his throat. He smiles at Suga, his voice raspy and dry, but he manages a quiet, "Suga". Suga squeezes his hand, tightly, smiling at him, though tears were blurring his vision.
"Shh," he whispers, reaching out with his free hand to brush through the short spikes of Daichi's hair. "It's okay."
"It seems like I should be the one telling you that." Daichi says, ignoring Suga's shushing. He coughs, the pained expression on his face growing stronger.
Suga's heart hurts; Daichi is so close, and he's being so gentle, as if Suga is injured. He pushes it down, his attention focused solely on his friend, those beautiful brown eyes looking at him. Only at him. He dares to hope, imagining he can see the same love he's sure is in his own gaze in the way Daichi looks at him.
He punches Daichi. It's not intended to hurt, and he aims for Daichi's uninjured shoulder.
"Ow!" Daichi yelps. "What the hell, Suga?"
"Don't ever scare me like that again." Suga's gaze is downcast, not meeting Daichi's eyes. His brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin in anger. "I still remember how terrified I was during the Wakutani game, when you and Tanaka collided. And today was even worse. I know the risks of your job but I don't know if I can stand by and watch you get hurt when I'm powerless to help." A tear falls from Suga's eye, then another, and this is the most Suga's ever cried before.
Daichi reaches up, brushing under Suga's eye and wiping away the tears staining his cheek. "Suga, I-" He cuts himself off, leaving Suga's heart pounding painfully fast. "We'll talk in the morning," Daichi settles on, and closes his eyes.
Suga settles into the chair beside him, which was just as uncomfortable as it had looked. He keeps hold of Daichi's hand, and leans forward to lay his head on the siderail of Daichi's hospital bed. "Good night, Daichi," he whispers, and lets himself sleep too.
As Suga sleeps that night, eyes red rimmed from tears, he holds Daichi's hand. He doesn't feel it go limp in his grasp, doesn't hear the alarms on the monitors go off. He doesn't feel Daichi slip away, grow cold and still. Suga sleeps, and he dreams of a life he will never have.