Chapter Text
Scotch Whiskey. It’s odd how something so smooth and rich could be abundant when Tony Stark’s around. In his room, on his private island in the Caribbean, and in the Helicopter he privately owned, which is landing on a battlefield.
“Pepper, what the hell are we doing here in the Mojave Desert? It’s hotter than a beach in California!”
“Well, boss, General Thaddeus ‘Thunderbolt’ Ross bombarded my phone lines all night last night, demanding you come down to help.”
“General Ross?” Colonel James Rhodes said in the pilot’s seat, “Thunderbolt Ross? Why the hell would he ask… for… holy shit!” Rhodes shouted as he looked out the window, causing the others to look as well.
All around was warped, crunched-up metal, military trucks and tanks torn up and tossed across the wasteland. On the ground, men screamed as flames scorched the land. Tony was used to traveling to lands bombed to hell, but rarely did he see the United States Army devastated so hard, metal crinkled and torn as though it were made of paper! Tony turned towards Pepper, who covered her mouth at the carnage before them,
“Pepper, do you know what the hell happened here? Did Ross say anything about this to you?”
“He didn’t, boss,” Pepper said, “Whatever it was, General Ross called you personally.” Tony sighed as he drank the rest of his scotch, pouring himself another glass,
“I know what he wants,” Tony said, placing his hand on his chest, “But I’m not selling.”
“You think he wants Stark Weapons? He knows you stopped selling weapons months ago, right?” Pepper said as she shuffled through the papers and contracts,
“No, Pepper, he wants my bodyguard,” Tony said, looking out the window while he finished his glass of scotch as the helicopter landed.
Tony stepped out as Pepper followed closely, looking at the destruction that warped the guns and trucks that littered the land. Pepper looked over at Tony, looking sharp in his suit, and smiled. If anyone were to do anything about this, it would be the man of tomorrow.
As they walked around, an older man in his late 50s ran up towards them, looking as though he saw the motherload of tornados run through his military hardware, the world’s greatest army reduced to scrap metal,
“Stark!” The older man said, his clad green uniform wearing large, shiny medals that clanged against his chest, grabbing Stark by the arms, “Thank God you're here! My men and I are going through hell out here!”
“Looks like it, General” Stark said as he looked around, “What caused this?”
“Some kind of… Hulking brute that smashed up my tanks and tore up my jets like wet tissue paper! Millions of Uncle Sam’s dollars, down the drain like that!” General Ross said as soldiers ram across the field, grabbing and nursing injured men,
“Did anyone die?” General Ross took off his cap as he looked across the horizon,
“By the grace of God, no. But my best men were in those vehicles as that Hulk tossed them across the air!” Tony stared out at the field, Pepper knows he was doing the calculus and math as to what monstrous strength caused these military trucks and guns to be tossed around like children's toys!
“Let me guess, you want me to send my best man on it?” Tony said as he folded his arms, looking at the General with disdain,
“Hell yes!” Ross said as he marched alongside the billionaire industrialist, “This monster has terrorized us the day we tested the gamma bomb! It has kidnapped Dr. Banner and, if my intel is correct, killed a teenager!” Ross then grabbed Tony by the jacket of his suit, “Stark, this thing took my girl. My daughter, Stark! My Betty! I’ll hunt that son of a bitch to the ends of the earth if it even touches a single hair on her head!” Ross said as hatred filled his eyes, livid, unquenchable hatred against the thing that threatened to destroy his life, his daughter, and maybe even his country! Tony placed a hand on the General’s shoulder,
“General, I understand your rage and I am concerned about your daughter’s well-being. I’ll call Ironman, and see that he’ll get the job done,” Stark then looked over at Pepper and coughed, as she gave him a contract, “Of course, Ironman is paid by me, but he makes sure that anyone that I give his services to shall have to sign this contract to lease Ironman.”
“Lease him? I thought you were out of the weapons manufacturing business,” Ross said with a raised eyebrow,
“The contract is only to keep any lawsuits from the government or SHIELD suing Stark Industries for getting involved with any illegal superhuman activities. The contract stipulates that any funds earned by Stark Industries from the lease shall be put into a donation of Mr. Stark’s choice,” Pepper said as she pointed out the contract, “But unless you have a problem with government money being donated for the good of the American Citizen, we can take our helicopter back to our offices and Ironman will save someone else, is that right General Ross?”
“What? No, don’t go! Give me that pen!” Ross quickly signed it as though his life depended on it, and turned towards Stark, “Good, now: Call him!” Tony pulled out his phone and tapped on its surface,
“Right away, I’ll call him right after I get a drink real quick, it’s drier than the Middle East over here!” Tony winked at Pepper, who gave him an endearing smile. Tony Stark may be a playboy billionaire, who dates beautiful women daily, but something about him makes Pepper’s heart swoon to the moon.
Tony, meanwhile, steps back onto the helicopter, pouring himself a glass of Jack Daniels, trying to inject some liquid courage into him while trying to find something a bit harsher to wake him up,
“You got the suitcase, Rhody?” Tony asked his confidant while slamming down his third drink of the day, least to Tony’s recollection,
“You’re gonna fight whatever made this?” Rhody asked, shaking his head, “You know, it was nice being your best friend, Tony, it really was.”
“Oh please, drama queen,” Tony said as he debated having one more drink for the road, “It’s probably some walking gamma-irradiated test monkey that has tumors the size of basketballs! It’s probably dying as we speak,” Tony said as he grabbed the suitcase from Rhodes, “I’m more worried about Betty and Dr. Banner, getting them to decontaminate is the highest priority I have right now.”
“A radioactive monkey that is a walking tumor? You think that did this ?” Rhody said as he pointed towards the tow trucks hauling away scraps of the American Army, “Hell no! Whatever did that is still out there, pissed off as hell! Are you sure you wanna tangle with this, Tony?”
“I think you’re forgetting that I fought my way through jungles and deserts with an armor I made in a cave, while my heart was being stabbed with metal shrapnel. I think I can handle some big, gray boogeyman,” Tony then took a shot of vodka before stepping off the helicopter, “But just in case, Rhodes, take this bird somewhere safe,”
“Where’s safe, Tony?” Rhody said as he looked at the army men putting out fires and pulling out injured men from absolute wrecks, miraculously alive, “You stay safe, alright man?” Rhody took off from the base, as Tony walked over by Ross and Pepper, holding out his phone,
“He’s on his way. Now, where is the bunker? Whatever this Hulk is, it sounds unsafe to stay out in the open.” Ross nodded as a military truck pulled up,
“Right this way, Stark, we’ve established headquarters in the town a few miles south from here. This way!” Stark climbed onto the truck, taking a sip from his flask until Pepper snatched it from him,
“Pepper!” Tony cried out as the truck started to move,
“You had enough today, Mr. Stark,” Pepper said as she opened up her pager, “Besides, you have a meeting with the Oscorp talking about the acquisitions of a failed start-up hardware business, The Tinkerers ”
“And to think I’m the boss!” Tony said to the soldiers, earning some chuckles while he smiled at Pepper, her cheeks blushing when she smirked back at him.
Lieutenants rushed around the base as they saluted General Ross, marching down to the command center, “Here’s where we have established the best signal towards our satellite. If there was anything that could find that son of a bitch, it’s the finest satellite the president could lend us.”
“The president?” Stark asked, amazed at how far this situation has escalated in just a couple of days. Of course, he walked close to Pepper, trying to stride with the buzz that dulled his nerves,
“I have fully briefed the President and his staff of our situation, and we’re going to be receiving the top-of-the-line equipment until the Hulk has been either contained or eliminated,” General Ross then looked over at a younger man taking a leading, saluting each other as the slick black haired man took off his hat, “Major Talbot, any report?”
“We have successfully organized the Hulkbuster units, as they are equipped with experimental railguns, laser guns, and a targeting system for a satellite strike, sir!” Talbot said with a cheeky smile, Pepper in awe at how advanced the government is that it shows itself to be. Stark, however, seems unimpressed,
“Great work Talbot,” Ross said with furrowed eyebrows, “There’s just one small detail you left out: Where’s the Hulk?” Talbot gulped and folded his arms behind his back,
“We’ve tried to locate the creature through changes in the geography of the desert, but we’ve found little evidence, sir.” General Ross grimaced as he clenched his fist, slamming the table out of frustration,
“Damn!” Ross shook his head as Tony looked around the room, full of dunderheads. Pepper looked at him with a smile, and Mr. Stark stepped forward,
“Have you tried tracing the gamma energy?” Tony said, getting the attention of the army men, “Look, there’s no denying that the Hulk is somehow linked to your gamma bomb test. If that’s the case, then we can trace the energy it’s dissipating, and triangulate its exact position!” Ross looked over at the lieutenant at the monitors and waited. After a few seconds of the lieutenants standing around twiddling their thumbs, the General’s face grew redder and redder,
“You heard the man! Trace any source of gamma energy and give me its coordinates, now! Double time! Move! Move! Move!!” The lieutenants rushed to work as Ross looked over at Tony, “Well, Stark? Where’s your shellhead now?”
“He’s on his way,” Tony said as he looked at his phone, “But if you excuse me, I have to go somewhere private.”
“Private? While there’s a walking nuke with my daughter!?!” Ross said with a face as red as a tomato,
“Sorry General, I still have a company to run,” Tony then turned towards Pepper and smiled, “Hold the fort while I’m gone?”
“On it, boss!” Pepper said as Tony stepped out of the room, now in a bunker that is crawling with military personnel, holding only a suitcase that weighs a ton .
Tony walked down the hallway, only to find a soldier tailing him. A spy of Ross, perhaps? Or… maybe even Hammer? Obidiah Stane? Any sort of corporate spies that would take a risk to sneak onto a military base to sneak a glance at his blueprints. Tony kept walking, walking out of the bunker onto the military base.
Tony walked around, trying to find some modicum of privacy, but to no avail. It seems that Ross’ paranoia extended towards the whole facility, trying to weasel out any traitors that could betray his nation and any secrets that could aid the United States of America. But by some miracle, an alarm rang from the base,
“THERE HAS BEEN A HULK SIGHTING!!! I REPEAT, THERE HAS BEEN A HULK SIGHTING!!!”
Men ran throughout the base, getting into defensive positions in their trucks and tanks, aiming their useless guns at the Mojave desert as though the boogeyman was coming. Tony chuckled and slipped away from sight.
He popped open his suitcase and unbuttoned his shirt. Instead of a manly hair of a rich genius that graced his fingertips, was cold, gray metal that, in the center of the chest, held a large light that hummed quietly. Tony hated having to wear a chest plate, because not only did it hide his good looks and make playboying hard as hell, but Tony knew it was the only thing keeping him alive. Without it, metal shrapnel would hit his already weak heart, killing him within hours! Sure, he had a bulletproof chest. Sure, he had a power source that’ll keep him alive when the sun turns red. But as of right now, as Tony opened the briefcase, he was no longer a mere man.
Inside the suitcase were nine pieces of armor: two boots, two cuisses, two gauntlets, two pauldrons, and a helmet. Each piece of the suit was made of a titanium alloy and saved his life as he escaped from the jungles. The boots and gauntlets were the largest pieces as Tony set them down, putting on the pauldrons and cuisses first.
Tony wondered, as he put on his pauldrons and hooked them up to the chest plate, is this weapons manufacturing? He’s selling Ironman for the U.S Government! But it’s for a good cause, Tony thinks aloud. He has to save the General’s daughter. He has to stop this monster once and for all! And hey, if he can get Uncle Sam to donate nearly a million dollars to… Alzheimer’s, Tony decided, then so be it!
Tony stepped onto the boots, only for metal sheets to pop out to connect with the cuisses. He placed the gauntlets onto his hands, metal sheets connecting to his pauldrons. Tony could feel the arc reactor’s energy going through the suit, the hundreds of transistors that Tony put into made it all too easy to move the ton of metal. Finally, he raised the helmet up, seeing the emotionless mute face that looked back at him. He place on the helmet, and tapped into the radio transmitter of the suit,
“Rhodes, you there?” Tony spoke into the helmet, equipped with a radio transmitter as his head’s display started online, giving his exact coordinates, temperature, and weather of the area he was in,
“Well good morning Ironman!” Rhody said with a cheerful grin, hightailing the helicopter as far away from the Hulk as possible, “Last chance to back out Tony, no one would judge!”
“Please Rhodes, you're just worried about my good looks because how else will you get the phone numbers of some beautiful, beautiful women?” Tony said as he felt the water cooling system running through the suit, beating back this desert heat,
“I’ll manage,” Rhodes clicked and pushed some buttons on the helicopter, “Alright, I’m patching you into the military communications line, you can switch it over if you need me.” Tony heard radio static for a split second, flinching as his ears were filled with yelling,
“Goddamnit, I want eyes there!!!” General Ross roared over the comms, desperate to get his daughter back into his arms, “Damnit Talbot, send something!”
“Who in the hell are we going to send in there, General? Who!? Who!?!”
“Calm down, Talbot,” said a very robotic voice, only hinting at some human identity, “Mr. Stark told you I was on the job, didn’t he?”
“Ironman!?” Talbot said, “How did you get on this radio signal, this is a private, government—”
“Can it, Talbot!” Ross said as he snatched the microphone from Talbot, “Ironman, we are currently sending you the coordinates, has Mr. Stark briefed you on the situation?”
“Most of it, a giant gray monster smashed up your toys, and you want your daughter back. Don’t worry sir, I’ll deal with this Hulk.”
“If you aren’t back within three hours, I’m sending my men in to retrieve my daughter, then we’re bombing the hell out of the area, with you in it or not. Do you understand the risks involved here, Ironman?” Tony picked up the coordinates on his head’s up display, and had a wide grin on his face,
“I’ll answer that question with another question, General,” Ironman said as his boots began to bring him to life, putting his gauntlets to his side, palms facing the ground, “Can birds fly?”
PFFFFOOOOOM! Racing off through the clouds at speeds faster than sound itself, Ironman races toward the coordinates, the roaring of his jet boots blasted throughout the military base, every soldier looked up to the sky as Ironman soared towards the Hulk.