Chapter Text
Martin heaved a deep sigh as he walked back towards the bus station. The rain soaking his already wet jacket even more, seeping deep into the hoodie he was wearing underneath it. He suppressed a shiver.
Another sorry excuse for an interview. A door slammed into my face, just like it always did. He looked down, watching as the water dribbled off of his jacket and joined the rest of the raindrops onto his shoes.
At this rate, they might get through the month with a few pounds to spare. If he went on any longer than this though, he and his mum would surely get kicked out of the already cheap flat they had. And what would happen then? He didn’t want to think about it. He needed a job, and he needed one fast.
He had stopped going to school the summer he turned 16. Managed to find a decent enough apprenticeship in a local care home. He didn’t earn a lot from it, but he did earn something at least. For a very short time, things were good.
Then his mum’s condition got worse, they had to move closer to the hospital, and the bills started piling up. Suddenly, he was without apprenticeship, and in need of a real job. The worst part was that all of this happened in the span of only a few months.
He wasn’t even 17 yet. How is a 16 year old with no experience supposed to find a full time job? No one in their right mind would take him, right?
He had sent his resume to about every place that accepted someone without experience. He really tried to do this the proper way.
But no matter what he did, his age was always an issue. If they didn’t outright tell him to leave, the best they could offer was a payment he just couldn’t keep two people alive on. Let alone one of them with medical costs. Sure their insurance covered most of it, but the few monthly payments it didn’t cover didn’t make their life any easier.
He was lucky enough that he was tall, and not of the slimmest. He had always been insecure about his looks, but at the very least, he looked older than he actually was. Which was one of the few positives he could take.
It started with some small lies, adding a year or two to his age. Nothing too unrealistic, just something that would make employers think twice before ultimately sending him on his way.
Eventually, as he started losing hope, his lies got bigger. Whatever seemed to be most likely to get him the position, he would add to his CV.
In his most recent interview, he was supposed to be a recently graduated 21 year old with a degree in Sociology and a background of doing an internship as a social worker.
Naturally he blew this one the moment they started asking questions about his non-existent qualifications. He might have done better if he actually remembered anything he’d managed to pick up from his real internship. But his nerves had gotten the better of him, as usual.
Mum’s going to be very disappointed in me. And maybe, I deserve that. He clutched his fists into his hoody, before slumping his shoulders. Ignoring the car that sprayed dirty water all over him as it passed by.
Everything was starting to feel like it was too much. He wasn’t good enough. He would never be good enough. Not for a job, not for his mum, not even for himself.
Nothing could go his way for once. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why do I always screw things up.” He whisper-shouted to himself. He was pretty sure a passer by gave him a weird look as he turned the corner. He tried to ignore it too, though the feeling of being judged had never been kind on him.
You’re just a kid. It’s not your fault. A voice whispered in the back of his head. A voice he had been trying so hard to pretend wasn’t there. He could do better, he should do better. It didn’t matter how old he was! His mum needed him. She relied on him.
He would take any job at this point, but no one seemed to want him. Not a single company in all of London seemed to have any interest in this failure of a person. Why would they? I’m not good at anything. I’m just a useless, good-for-nothing idiot.
He started speeding up as the wetness finally fully broke through the last barrier of clothing he had on, and the cold sensation was starting to become unbearable, the downpouring rain clouding his glasses. He didn’t notice the man in front of him until they collided, and he fell to the ground.
“I- I’m sorry, sir!” He said, with a sharp breath. And can’t even look where I’m walking. the less pleasant voice in his head added to his previous train of thoughts.
“Not a problem.” A rather kind but stiff sounding voice answered him. “Are you okay?” He asked, as Martin tried to get up.
“Yeah,” he answered, his hand was a little scuffed, but other than that, nothing hurt, and it was quiet for once, too quiet.
He looked towards the man he had bumped into, he was quite tall as well, and broad. His face being half hidden behind a bushy beard.
From what he could tell, he was maybe in his 40’s or 50’s? Though his stark, very light, almost white hair definitely aged him by 20 or so years. He was also dressed in all black, as if he had just been to a funeral.
As he got back onto his feet, he noticed just how calm it was. He looked around, confused. The rain had softened, and the streets were a lot quieter than they were before. He couldn’t see anyone, besides the older man. This is not normal, right? There should be more people here, right?
“Where is everyone?” Martin's voice sounded small, as he instinctively made himself shrink down a bit. It was a habit that helped him stay unnoticed in school, well, when he still went to school.
The man waved his hand dismissively, as if the streets being completely empty on a regular day in a usually very busy city wasn’t something weird or noteworthy. “They’ll come back, maybe.” He grunted.
The man started walking away. As the rain started to soften more and more, he started noticing he couldn’t see as far as he did before. As if a soft cloud of mist was starting to make its way into the empty city. Panic rose within Martin. I don’t want to be left alone. Without a second thought, he ran after the stranger.
“What are you doing?” He asked, calmly, as Martin joined in a few paces behind him. His hands were put in the pockets of his long, black jacket. His grey eyes skimmed over Martin, who was trying to hide his nervousness.
“I just… happened to need to go this way as well.” He lied, the stranger huffed as he looked back out in front of him.
“No, I don’t think you do. You were coming from this direction earlier.” The man commented matter-of-factly.
Martin folded his arms. “Well, I changed my mind.” He answered stubbornly. He didn’t like following a complete stranger, but it was better than being left on an unnaturally empty street, or coming home with bad news again. God, he must think I’m a weirdo.
The older man sighed, then stopped. “I’m sure you’ve got somewhere to be.” He looked down at him.
Martin shrugged. “No one’s waiting for me, not really.” He could feel his stomach drop as he said it out loud. Ironically, this might be the first truth he’s said in weeks.
“You don’t have a family, or friends? Someone else you can go bother?” The older man never dropped that kind tone, even if it looked like he was slightly annoyed.
“No one that would want me around any more than you do.” He could feel his eyes start to hurt, as if he wanted to cry, his chest tightening. Until it all seemed to fade into nothingness.
He never really had friends, but the few he did have, he’d abandoned in order to take care of his mother. Even his boyfriend he had left behind. He didn’t want to, not really. But his mum needed him more, and as long as she wasn’t happy, he couldn’t be either. It’s not like she ever appreciated it though. He was pretty sure she’d rather be stuck in the hospital than be around him. So why do I still care?
Did he care? He wasn’t sure anymore. He wasn’t sure about any of his feelings. They came, and faded again, as if something was holding them back from coming to expression. It felt… calming.
“That’s quite a lonely place to be in.” The older man commented as he held out his hand, holding a cigarette.
“I don’t smoke.” Martin said absently. The man shrugged, as he lit his own cigarette. Allowing a moment of silence to stretch.
“You seem troubled.” Martin looked down, the puddle he was standing in forming slight ripples as the droplets fell off of his jacket.
“I just… have a lot on my mind.” He took a deep breath. “My mum isn’t doing well.” He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to share that. Maybe it was because he didn’t know this man, because he seemed friendly. Or maybe he just wanted to talk to someone. Do I want that?
“Must be a difficult situation for you.” The older man let out a puff of smoke.
Martin looked back up, letting his eyes glance over the eerily empty street. It was honestly quite comforting, he never liked how busy London was, even if the idea of everyone disappearing just like that scared a part of him. There wasn’t a rational explanation for any of this, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted one.
“I am supposed to provide for her, take care of her. But I can barely take care of myself. I can’t even find a job.” He kicked away a stone lying in front of him as he said that. It was something that should have been shameful, the man didn’t seem to care, and neither did he.
“How old are you?” The stranger asked, meeting him with a sideways glance.
Martin hesitated. “I’m… I’m 18,” he let out a defeated sigh as he said it. Part of him wanted to be honest, but what use would being honest about his age have at this point? Did it even matter?
The man seemed to think for a long while. Eventually he straightened, his expression betraying how conflicted he was. “I think you should go home,” he said.
He held out a small card. “I do hope to see you again. It’s against what I stand for but I would ask you to wait, I don’t particularly enjoy young ones.” The stranger’s voice sounded strained, as if it physically hurt to tell him this.
Martin took the card from the stranger. He took a look at it. ‘Solus Shipping PLC’, it read. It didn’t have any names or proper contact info on it, though did have a vague instruction telling him to ask for the captain of The Tundra for more information.
“Um, thanks?” Martin said, as he looked back up, but the man was gone. Seemingly disappeared into the crowd.
A crowd? Martin looked around, the street was busy again, people walking past him in a hurry, shielding themselves from the rain, while cars drove by at a slow pace. The rain was back, properly back, and that creeping mist was gone. He put the card into his pocket. Confused, he started walking back towards the bus station.
What was all that about? What just happened? something felt weird within him. For a brief moment, everything had felt strangely right. But now that his mind was no longer clouded, the wrongness of everything came crashing back. This wasn’t normal. Why hadn’t he questioned any of this more? Given any of it as much of a second thought as he should have?
Why do I want it to go back?