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Hajime woke up the same way he had for the past seven nights – screaming.
He’d never really had a “good” sleep ever since he and everyone else arrived on this island, but since the killing had started, his nightmares had only gotten worse. The lifeless, glass-eyed corpses of his dead classmates – his dead friends – were always there, shambling towards him, their bodies leaking blood from every gash as they closed in around him, screaming at him for not being able to save them as he watch their life drain out of them right in front of his eyes once again.
The worst part is, he’d almost become used to it. He hadn’t thrown up immediately after waking up for the past two days, which scared him more than those dreams ever could.
Seeing my classmates dead like that… is it just becoming normal to me now?
As bad as those dreams were, at least they were better than the ones he couldn’t explain, where he watched thousands of students dying in front of him, cities destroyed by rioting, and-
And the one he just woke up from.
The one where he murders people like it’s nothing.
Hajime had stopped trying to fall back asleep by now. On some level, he knew he probably needed it – it was impossible to tell precisely how much he was getting, since the only “clock” they had was the Monokuma announcement, but he couldn’t have been getting much more than three hours – but even just closing his eyes would bring him another vision of his hands slaughtering some other faceless innocent student-
He shuddered.
“I’m not a killer. I’m not a killer. I’m not a killer…” he whispered to nobody. The words rang hollow.
If I’m not a killer… then why do those dreams feel so real?
It was an answer he never had an answer for.
So he got up to patrol the island again, like he had for the past few days. If he wasn’t going to be able to sleep, at least he could maybe find something useful while he was awake.
Besides, if someone kills me… well, maybe it’s better that it’s me and not anyone else.
Even as his aching body protested, Hajime dragged himself to the door of his cottage, only to open it and find… Chiaki?
“Ah, Hajime. Hello,” she opened, as if there was nothing at all strange about her being in front of his door in the middle of the night.
“O-Oh, um, hi, Chiaki…” Hajime suddenly felt a little self-conscious about the fact that he’d just rolled out of bed on a few hours of sleep. Hopefully it’s too dark to see how I look…
“You weren’t going to wander around the island until sunrise, were you?” Wow, straight to the point, huh?
“I just… I can’t sleep. So I figured, why not do something useful and-”
“You… can’t fall asleep?” Chiaki treated the phrase like it came from an alien planet.
Well, I guess she’s always napping, so maybe it is a little strange to her…
“I’ve… been getting really bad nightmares for the past few days.” Even just thinking about them, Hajime had to tense his body up to prevent it from shaking.
“Would you like to talk to me about it?” She was looking directly into his eyes now, her determined gaze making Hajime a little embarrassed.
“I… I don’t know.” Telling Chiaki I’ve been dreaming about murder… can I really do that?
Without warning, Chiaki took one of Hajime’s hands between hers, her voice bursting with determination. “Hajime, please. I want to help.”
“W-Well…” Her hands were… really warm. “I-I guess I can…”
Chiaki smiled. “Good. I’m going to walk you over to my cottage, okay?”
“What? Right now? W-What if someone sees and gets the wrong idea, and…?”
Chiaki looked around for a second, then nodded. “Don’t worry, nobody should be awake right now… I think.”
C-Couldn’t you at least act a bit more certain!?
Regardless, Hajime let Chiaki drag him back to her cabin, his unsteady feet stumbling a few seconds behind the more energetic steps of the Ultimate Gamer.
How is she so steady on her feet this late at night? Maybe her taking all those naps means that she’s the same level of ‘awake’ at any time during the day…
Either that or she’d just stayed up this late playing a video game.
After taking another quick look around, Chiaki opened the door and pulled Hajime into her room before gently pushing him to take a seat on her bed and taking a seat beside him.
“So, Hajime… Do you wanna tell me about them?”
He just looked down at his hands. “I don’t know, I… I’m sorry, it’s just a lot, and…” He tailed off, his face contorting into a grimace as another fragment flashed through his mind. “I…”
“Hey, hey…” Chiaki’s voice was nothing but comfort and warmth. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. But I… I want to help you, Hajime. You’re… special to me.”
Even if only slightly, the vice of fear that had been gripping into Hajime relented. “T-Thanks, Chiaki. Promise you won’t… judge me?”
“I promise I won’t… probably.” Chiaki smiled.
Was that meant to be a joke…? I guess I do feel a little better…
“W-Well, in my dreams…,” Hajime swallowed, summoning whatever courage he could. “I’m… killing people. Murdering.”
The pair sat in silence for a few seconds, Hajime waiting for some kind of shocked reaction – or any reaction – from Chiaki, but she continued to simply stare at him without an ounce of judgement on her face. For a second, Hajime was a little worried that she’d somehow fallen asleep again, until…
“…So?” Chiaki’s voice was soft but firm. “It’s only a dream, Hajime.”
“Y-Yeah, but…” Hajime’s confusion had at least pushed him out of his prior catatonia. “W-What if they’re memories from our time at Hope’s Peak that got erased, like Monokuma said? Or what if I’m subconsciously planning to murder people here? How do you know you can trust me!? I… M-Maybe I’m even the traitor, and-”
“Hajime.” Chiaki’s voice cut through everything. “None of those things matter. What matters is who you are, right now, okay?”
“I-I don’t…”
“You’re not planning to murder anybody, right?”
“W-Well, no…”
“And you’re not the traitor, right?”
“I don’t… I mean, I don’t know…”
“Well, even if you can’t trust yourself… I trust you, Hajime. And I believe in you.” Chiaki put her hand on top of his, a slight blush forming on her face.
Hajime had become a little red as well. “Chiaki…”
“Even if they are your past memories… The Hajime I know would never do something like that. So no matter what, I’m choosing to believe in Hajime, okay? No matter what the past is, you’ll be able to build a better future, for everyone.”
“T-Thank you…” When had his eyes started to water…?
“Now Hajime, I need you to try and get some sleep, okay? If you don’t, it’s only gonna make you feel worse… I promise I’ll help you as much as it takes if you have another nightmare, so please try for me, alright?”
“B-But…”
“Hajime, please?”
Given the exhaustion that was constantly following his body around now, Hajime didn’t have much strength to argue. Even before he mumbled out a quiet “Okay,” Chiaki had already started gently lowering his head down into her lap.
Had he been more alert, Hajime would’ve been overwhelmed by being in a position like this with Chiaki. As it was, only a few thoughts drifted through his drowsy head as his eyes slowly closed.
She’s so comfortable… and warm…
Sitting here so closely with Chiaki, for the first time in a while, Hajime felt safe. Days of pent-up exhaustion washed over him all at once, sapping any strength he had as he sank into Chiaki’s embrace.
“Chiaki…” Hajime’s voice was barely audible. “Do you dream of anything…?”
Yet he didn’t stay awake long enough to hear her response. Just a few seconds later, the Ultimate Gamer looked down to see Hajime fast asleep, his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath he took, the air lightly tickling Chiaki’s legs.
Seeing him like this… I need… No, not just that. I want to protect him.
Chiaki gently brushed her fingers through Hajime’s hair, feeling how soft it was as it ran between them.
“Well, I don’t really dream much, Hajime…” she replied, even as he’d already drifted away. “But if I did, I’d want to dream about you… I think.”
That morning, for the first time in a week, Hajime Hinata didn’t wake up screaming.