Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Living in Her Shadow.
Twilight woke up in the middle of the night, as it was starting to become increasingly common. Her heart was racing, her body was sweating, and her breathing rather agitated, but she also wasn’t surprised about that.
Another night, another nightmare.
It had been almost two weeks now, and they hadn’t stopped. In fact, they were starting to become annoying rather than scary.
She had even briefly considered inventing something to prevent her from falling asleep entirely. She could even use that time for research, which would be a win-win! But… no. All medical papers she found described some very terrifying effects when humans started missing sleep for so many days, so she figured she’d have to just endure the nightmares and hope they’d fade with time.
She took her glasses from the nightstand and put them on. Then, she got up and went to sit at her desk, getting out a pen and a notebook and noting down the dream. Same one as the last few dozen; Midnight Sparkle appeared and disintegrated all her friends, and then Twilight would suddenly realize that she was Midnight Sparkle. Then, she’d wake up.
It was born from trauma, obviously. But… was there more to it? Was Midnight Sparkle a real entity who hadn’t been defeated, but just subdued, and was now haunting her dreams? Probably not. Still, she decided to record everything just in case.
She sighed, putting her pen down and reclining on her chair.
Everything was so complicated! She’d thought that transferring to CHS would get rid of most of her problems, but of course she couldn’t get a moment’s peace. Sure, the girls were nice, and they were very serious about teaching her about the “magic of friendship”, but they could also be a bit overwhelming sometimes. Not to mention that half the time she felt like they weren’t even looking at her at all.
Princess Twilight Sparkle. That was the name of her doppelganger, the so-called “Princess of Friendship” in the magical world of ponies.
It was a little unfair that she was not only a freaking princess with magical powers, but she was also social enough to be the princess of friendship itself. Meanwhile Twilight… she was just a socially inept nerd with an unhealthy obsession with school. She really had drawn the short end of the stick, hadn’t she?
Not to mention that she had almost destroyed both worlds in a misguided attempt to understand magic and get social recognition at the same time. Meanwhile the princess had, of course, saved the world two freaking times. As far as she knew, at least. Apparently, she had also saved Equestria a lot more than that.
She didn’t know many details, because every time the girls brought up the princess of friendship in conversation, Twilight would quickly change the subject or run away while making up some excuse.
It wasn’t fear, exactly. It wasn’t even just the uncanniness of knowing there was someone else out there who looked just like her and had befriended her friends first. It was the fact that part of her couldn’t help wonder if maybe the reason everyone in CHS treated her so well was just because they knew her counterpart. She often felt like they expected her to behave just like her, that’s for sure.
At the very least it was an improvement over being mercilessly bullied at Crystal Prep, so it wasn’t all bad, she supposed.
Still, she tried to distract herself from her gloomy thoughts by checking her phone, maybe see if one of the science accounts she followed on Snapcat had uploaded anything. However, as soon as she unlocked it, she realized she had a notification. And it was… Sunset. Of course it was Sunset.
She put her phone down without reading it, trying to get the courage to open it.
Sunset was… an intriguing person.
She seemed to be everything Twilight wished she was, and more. She was social, confident, kind, outgoing, had lots of friends, an incredible sense of style, and was so beautiful that Twilight wouldn’t be surprised if everyone in CHS secretly had a crush on her. And, as if that was enough, she was also smart. Too smart. She had the top student at their school before Twilight transferred, and she didn’t even seem upset to be surpassed by her! If anything, she had taken it as a friendly challenge.
Oh, and let’s not forget that she was the one who saved everyone and vanquished Midnight Sparkle by becoming a literal winged goddess of light.
How could a single person so perfect was beyond Twilight’s comprehension. But even more baffling was the fact that she seemed to be the most willing to spend time with her.
Problem was… Twilight really didn’t want Sunset to know her.
Perhaps it was a bit irrational, but part of her feared that Sunset would get bored of her pretty quickly. Once she realized Twilight wasn’t as awesome as the magical princess from the land of ponies, she’d move on with her life and stop insisting on hanging out with her.
So, she’d avoided being with just her.
Hanging out as a group was fine, because the other girls often took the center stage and Twilight could just observe and laugh at the appropriate times, and sometimes even introduce a fun science fact. Performing social competence in that context was easy, but one-on-one? That was a test Twilight was sure she’d fail.
Still… she couldn’t put it off forever. Sunset would probably notice her excuses were just that, and maybe assume Twilight didn’t want to be friends with her, which would be even more catastrophic.
What to do, then?
She took her phone, breathed in, then out, then… she opened the message.
Hey Twi! Are you busy tomorrow? I know you said you had homework, but I figured maybe we could do it together.
Or we can just hang out, if you prefer. Either one is fine with me ;)
Twilight almost dropped the phone upon reading the message.
Why was there a wink emoji? What did that mean? Was that some kind of code? Was she supposed to decipher Sunset’s preference base on that? Twilight had never texted anyone who wasn’t part of her family before, and they didn’t use that many emojis, but she knew young people did. People who were the same age as her. People she should definitely be more familiar with.
She just kept staring at the screen, unable to decide what to answer.
Perhaps a study session would be fine… especially if it was in the library, so they couldn’t do much talking. Besides, if there was something Twilight was confident in, it was her intelligence and her knowledge. Who knows, maybe Sunset would be impressed. Maybe.
With a sigh, she decided to text back.
Good morning.
It was morning, right? Twilight took a moment to glance at the clock, and saw that it read 4am. Yes, definitely morning.
Yes, we could do our homework together if you want. Does the library sound okay? I’ll arrive as soon as it opens, but you can arrive at any point during the day and find me. I’m usually at the tables on the second floor.
She pressed the send button before she could think too much about it, then she read it again. Was it too formal? Maybe. But she honestly couldn’t think of a better way to phrase it. Should she add an emoji? Sure, why not.
She selected the smiling face and pressed send.
:)
Wow, that’s a creepy face lol.
The new message startled Twilight so much she almost dropped the phone. Then, she read the message again, and frowned. What was so creepy about a smiling face? Ugh, she really couldn’t understand anything about this whole emoji culture. It was like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphs, except she’d gotten further in that regard back when she’d become obsessed with Egyptian mathematics.
But the library is fine. We can even go to a nice burger joint afterwards. It’s just around the corner. Sunset’s second message startled her again. Btw, what are you doing awake at this time?
I could ask you the same thing, you know?
True, but I asked you first.
Oh, she was witty, wasn’t she? Well, two could play that game.
That doesn’t mean I have to answer.
Sunset didn’t answer right away. In fact, she didn’t even appear to be typing, which worried Twilight for a moment. Perhaps she had said the wrong thing. Perhaps she had come off as mean instead of playful, but she wasn’t quite sure how to convey tone through text. Should she apologize?
Sunset’s new message interrupted her momentary spiral.
Are you having nightmares?
Twilight’s eyes widened at such an accurate conclusion. Was Sunset spying on her? How did she know?
Well… it was probably just the bags under her eyes that were starting to become quite noticeable as of lately. But still, it was quite a lucky guess.
Don’t worry, they’ll gradually become less frequent. Came the unprompted reassurance. Meditation helps a little too. Try and do it before you sleep.
Twilight sighed. Yes, this was all very reasonable and very standard advice. That she didn’t ask for. And that she doubted would work anyways. Most people weren’t dreaming with literal magical entities that they manifested out of their own stupidity. Still, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.
Thanks.
No problem. Perhaps you could tell me more about it later?
Twilight chose not to answer that last message. What could she even say? She’d rather just let Sunset think she’d fallen asleep mid-conversation.
So, she just put down her phone and grabbed one of the large books she had in her desk for occasions just like this one. She opened it in a random page and started reading, hoping that the explanations on quantum mechanics would carry away all her worries and fears.
Sunset was worried about Twilight. Very worried. She knew better than anyone what it was like to go through a demonic transformation and attempt to destroy the world, after all. She knew the pain, the fear and the nightmares that went with it. More importantly… she knew that such dark magic didn’t disappear as easily as it seemed at first. Even now, she sometimes still transformed into a demon if she got a little too angry, but Twilight… her own transformation had been too recent to ignore such possibility.
Sure, the causes were different but the results were too similar to ignore. And Sunset wasn’t one to ignore a friend in pain anyways.
And Twilight was suffering. A lot. The poor girl clearly thought she hid it well, but she was even more quiet than Fluttershy, and seemed to overthink every single word she said. Sure, it wasn’t exactly easy to try and fit in with a stablished group of friends, but she’d thought it’d be a little less hard for Twilight because she didn’t have a whole history of bullying and terror to make up for.
Or maybe she’d just expected her to be better at friendship because she was Twilight.
It was a sad thought, but expectations did carry through dimensions, even when Sunset didn’t mean to. Then again, when she’d written to Princess Twilight to ask for her help, she’d been promptly informed that even she had struggled with friendship at first. Which wasn’t something Sunset would’ve guessed in a million years.
For now though, she could only be there for Twilight, and hope she’d trust her enough to eventually talk about her problems. She owed her that and more.
She wasn’t sure, but she figured Twilight very likely didn’t remember their fateful encounter at that bridge months ago, when she’d so fortuitously saved her life with just her presence. But Sunset couldn’t forget. She never would.
Unfortunately, it was because of that unpayable debt that she’d failed to confront Twilight during the Friendship Games until she’d already put everyone’s lives in danger, and Sunset’s temper had gotten the better of her. Perhaps if she had acted sooner, she could have convinced her to not use her invention until making sure it was safe. Perhaps she would’ve prevented her from turning into a monster.
But she couldn’t change the past. She could only do better in the future, and that was her goal. She’d befriend Twilight, whether she wanted it or not, and she would help her deal with whatever residue remained from her transformation, magical or otherwise.
That was her goal, and the reason she was walking towards the library at 9 am on a Saturday. She just hoped Twilight would actually show up to their studying session, although that last unread message worried her. But then again, Twilight could have just fallen asleep before reading it—she certainly hoped it was the case.
She normally wouldn’t even start her homework until one day before it was due. Two, if it was long. Perhaps it wasn’t the best system, but it had worked so far, and unlike Twilight, she didn’t exactly enjoy studying for studying’s sake. She’d rather spend that time playing music, practicing art or just hanging out with her friends or her family.
She certainly needed some relaxation after having to deal with, not one, but two magical crisis since her reformation. One of which she’d actively made infinitely worse in a misguided attempt to disrupt the sirens from the inside. She actually cringed every time she thought about the way she treated her friends back then in favor of her stupid plan.
But no matter. The library was here, and Twilight was waiting inside for her. Hopefully something good would come out of this.
The library was familiar. It’s tall shelves full of books old and new, the comfortable sofas scattered around the first floor for people to sit and read for however long they wanted, the steps that drifted up to the second floor in a wide curve, and the group study section with its wide windows filtering in sunlight, and illuminating the wooden tables with six chairs each.
Sunset didn’t frequent the library anymore, but she had, what now seemed like a lifetime ago. Back when she didn’t have a family, a house, or even a computer to search up whatever information she needed with just the click of a mouse.
During those two years she’d become somewhat familiar with its layout, although she’d only come on weekends and always stayed on the first floor, preferring the sofas even if sometimes she fell asleep while studying. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea, in retrospective.
But she wasn’t there to reminisce; she needed to find Twilight… assuming she’d even shown up.
She quickly scanned the tables, finding most of them empty, and the ones that were occupied had people she didn’t recognize in them. She walked a little, trying to catch a glimpse of Twilight’s familiar dark blue hair somewhere in the large space with no luck, until…
A table on a dark corner furthest from the stairs caught her attention. She couldn’t exactly see who was sitting there, thanks to the rather tall stacks of books surrounding the person, but just from that fact alone she guessed it was Twilight. Who else would take so many books it looked like they were literally trying to uncover the secrets of the universe?
Was she hiding behind them? Surely not. She had been the one to select the location, after all. And she’d finally agreed to hang out after so many rejected proposals. She couldn’t be hiding and pretending to be too busy to notice Sunset. Surely.
She came to a stop behind the girl, but Twilight didn’t even tear her gaze away from the book full of rather complicated integrals. She was as enraptured as if this were the most successful mystery novel and the culprit was just about to be caught. It would be kind of cute, honestly… if Sunset didn’t suspect the girl was purposely ignoring her.
“Boo!” She leaned down and whispered on her ear.
“Gwha-” A startled sound escaped Twilight’s mouth as she practically jumped out of her chair, nearly hitting Sunset’s chin with her head. Thankfully, she’d had the foresight to take a step back.
Twilight then turned around and adjusted her glasses, looking at Sunset with what could only be described as a complicated expression. Like she was torn between wanting to run away and to invite her to seat with her. Sunset just smiled.
“I wasn’t aware we’d be doing an entire month’s worth of homework.” She teased, gesturing at the wide collection of books. “I only brought my assignments for this week.”
“I- I, uhm…” Twilight cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. “Good morning.” Sunset raised an eyebrow at the formal greeting, but said nothing. “Sorry, I just thought…” She bit her lip. “I didn’t know what you wanted to study, so I just brought a little bit of everything.”
“I see.” Sunset chuckled slightly. “You are aware that the only class we share is advanced physics, right? I assume that’s what you wanted us to study together.”
“No, no, I know!” She quickly defended herself. “But we’d be done with that in an hour or two, judging by our usual academic performance.”
Sunset nodded slowly, suddenly understanding what all those books were for.
“So you’re saying…” She smirked. “That you want to spend all day with me.”
“Exac- No!” The girl panicked, color rushing to her cheeks. “I mean… not with you specifically. Just in the library. Although you are here, so I suppose I’d be spending the day with you. In the library. Together.” She chuckled awkwardly, cringing at her own words.
“Well, we don’t need to stay cooped up here all day.” Finally, Sunset pulled out the chair next to Twilight and sat down, casually resting her elbow on the back of the girl’s chair. “We can finish our homework, and then do whatever we want.” A mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. “That way, we can spend all day together without boring ourselves to death, what do you say?”
“Uhm…” Just from the look on her eyes, it was obvious she wanted to say no, but at the same time she was too nervous to do so. “Sure?”
She didn’t sound sure at all, but she’d agreed, which was the important part.
“Perfect! Then let’s get started. The sooner the better, right?”
“R-right. Let’s.” Twilight didn’t seem very enthusiastic as she turned back towards the table and carefully dug out her notebook from under all the books she had around. In fact, she looked tense. More tense even than whenever they’d hang out with the rest of the girls.
But that was fine. Sunset was determined to make the best out of this opportunity and hopefully get Twilight to come out of her shell, at least just enough for Sunset to get to know her a little better.
This was going to be a fun day.