Chapter Text
“No no no…not again” Rachel pleaded out.
The loud grinding of metal and spluttering coughs that escape her car’s engine do nothing but ensure that this is one car trouble she won’t be able to fix on her own. Rachel knew her car was on the brink of giving out, it had been with her since high school and was somehow still hanging on by a thread. Yet as the car came to a slow stop and the engine went dead silent, Rachel couldn’t help but feel surprised. She hadn’t really expected it to happen on her way back home, much less in the middle of the night on an unfamiliar road. She sighed as she dropped her head against the cool leather of her steering wheel with a soft thunk.
What was she going to do? She’s sure there were about ten miles before the nearest gas station, not to mention the lack of signal on her phone. Maybe she could walk back towards Santana and Brittany’s house? Rachel raised her head up and looked out the window at the dark empty road. The night sky was of no help as there were barely any stars to illuminate the dense forest that surrounded her. It would be more of a problem to walk out in the dark than stay in her car until the morning, that’s if she lasted that long. With a sigh Rachel leaned back into her seat and closed her eyes. It was moments like these that made her think of things she’d rather not. Like wondering if Santana and Brittany had really made a wise decision when making the move out to the rural countryside in order to start a family.
A light tapping at the back of her window broke her out of her thoughts. Although Rachel had lived out in Maine for a few years now, she’d never gotten used to the dense greenery that seemed to run rampant among the state. She often liked to keep herself confined to Portland’s city limits, never venturing out for fear of situations like these, getting lost or ending up stranded.
The tapping was soft and erratic, but it paralyzed Rachel with fear. She couldn’t help as her mind conjured up images of long forgotten boogymen and men with hooks for hands.
“It’s probably just a branch banging against the window” she whispered out to ease her mind.
Yet as the tapping picked up, she found herself searching her car for a potential weapon. Her hands brushed against the various car compartments in search of something sharp as her head stayed on a swivel. Rachel couldn’t allow herself to become an easy target, she had so much left to give to the world. The tapping was getting louder and she was sure her actions were those of a mad woman. Rachel was about to give up hope until her fingers brushed against the windshield scraper she kept hidden under the passenger seat.
As her hand closed against the rough plastic, she felt her heart rate begin to slow. A sense of safety washed over her as she pulled it up onto her lap. Rachel knew she probably looked crazy holding on to the windshield scraper in the middle of August, but she didn’t care.
Feeling safe enough, Rachel began digging through the mess she’d created in search of said weapon. Amid the pile of an old car manual, some receipts and knicknacks her eyes landed on a small black booklet
“I can’t believe It's still here..” Rachel gently tugged it out of the pile and onto her lap.
Its cover was decorated with glitter and gold stars, letters in cursive looped around the spine and onto the back, A Soulmate’s Guide To All Things Rachel Barbara Berry. Rachel felt a tinge of sadness as she flipped through the small book, drawings, magazine clippings and lists of things she liked were scattered along the pages. It brought her back to her youth, the feeling of hope she used to carry when she thought she’d find her one, yet as she’d inched further and further away from it each year, she’d kind of lost all hope. But that was long ago and as a loud knock on her window made her scream, she realized there was something more important at hand.
Her life.
—---------
“Uh, sorry..I didn’t mean to scare you,” the woman said with an awkward smile.
Rachel struggles to make sense of what is happening. All she knows is that her ears are still ringing and she’s sure she’s woken up half, if not the entire population, of Maine with the scream she just let out. Not to mention, now she’s face to face with a beautiful blonde haired woman in a canvas jacket and blue scrubs.
“Who ..what…where did you come from?!?” Rachel stutters out while tightly clutching the window scraper to her chest.
The stranger seems taken aback by her question, but then she lets out one of the most beautiful laughs Rachel’s ever heard. Rachel hates how her body seems to relax with the woman’s easy demeanor. Slight annoyance seems to bubble up within her, how could this woman dismiss her very valid sense of pure fear with a simple laugh?
“I’m waiting..” Rachel defensively states.
The blonde’s laughter subsides as she gently taps the glass with her fingers in thought. A smile tugs at the corner of her lips before speaking up.
“How about I answer all your questions in the warmth of my truck?” she gestures towards an old rusted red truck a few feet away.
Rachel’s eyes widen at the sight, her skin prickles with fright.
“Your truck? I barely even know you!”
The blonde bites her lip in amusement and Rachel feels her breath hitch at the sight.
Rachel shakes her head, she can’t believe this. The woman must have some sick sense of humor if she finds this amusing. Rachel stomps her foot, well as much as she can while being seated in her car, “do you think this is funny? For all I know you could be a serial killer on the loose!”
“Well...I only suggested my truck due to the cold weather ... .as I’m sure you’re well aware of” the woman gestures at foggy glass and the puffs of hot air that leave Rachel’s lips with each breath.
“Plus it looks like you could use a ride, no?” the woman says calmly.
Rachel can’t help but feel frustrated at the fact that the mystery woman is right, yet she won’t give in this easily.
“Even if I could use a ride…how do I know you won’t use this as an opportunity to kidnap me? Or kill me?”
The blonde doesn’t say a word as she steps away from Rachel’s window and makes her way back to the red truck.
Oh no, this is it…Rachel’s pushed the woman too far! Her eyes track the blonde’s movements, watching as she reaches into the truck for a brief second, searching for something before turning to make her way back.
This is it…this is where her life ends. Rachel’s hold on the windshield scraper tightens, as she takes a couple of soothing breaths. If she waits until the woman’s close enough, then she can strike the pointy end through the window, that’s sure to give her an advantage right?
All these thoughts race through her head as the blonde pulls something black out of her pocket. A gun? Well, that’s no match for Rachel’s makeshift protector. Rachel never thought about how she’d die but she was sure it would have been more dramatic than this. Closing her eyes and saying a quick prayer, Rachel feels her heart beat in her ears as she mentally prepares for what comes next.
Yet nothing happens, only the soft distant hum of the woman’s truck and Rachel’s breathing can be heard. After a few minutes, Rachel hesitantly opens an eye.
The woman’s said gun is pressed against the car’s glass window and Rachel realizes something. The “gun” is not a gun but a black cellphone, a flip phone to be exact.
“Who carries an old flip phone around??” slips out of her before she can question why it's even there in the first place.
The blonde shakes her head in amusement, “I do”
Her smile is reassuring as she taps the phone against the glass “…and I’m sharing my old phone with you, so you can call a tow truck”
Rachel’s thankful for the lack of light as the heat from the sheer sense of embarrassment spreads from the tips of her fingers to her sheepish face.
“ Ah.. well thanks”
The blonde just nods as she steps back, allowing Rachel to unlock her door and step out onto the dark road. As she reaches out for the phone, an icy gust of wind hits her hard. Rachel feels even worse knowing the blonde stood here through her shenanigans.
Not that the cool temperatures did her any damage, the blonde looked rather..stunning much to Rachel’s surprise. With her rosy cheeks and adorable pink nose…and Rachel realizes she’s been staring.
Quinn grins before giving Rachel a small wave, “I’ll give you and the towing company some privacy…”
Rachel nods as she leans back into the car and pulls a business card from the glove compartment.
“When you’re done feel free to hop in my truck” the blonde turns away to hide a smile, “Rest assured, you’ll have this serial killer waiting”
“Ha Ha..very funny” Rachel flatly says.
The blonde's faint laughter drifts through the wind as Rachel's frigid fingers struggle to type the number into the phone.
—-----
“So how’d the call go?” The blonde asks.
Rachel places her icy hands up against the air vents as she tries to stop herself from shaking.
“It w..went..g..good”
Rachel’s hands shake as she gives back the phone with a silent thanks. Noticing Rachel’s struggle, the woman turns up the heat and takes off her coat, handing it over to Rachel.
“H..hey..no..its..o..okay”
“No, take it..you’re freezing” the blonde pushes the thick canvas coat onto Rachel’s lap.
“And although cute, I’m sure that thin cardigan isn't doing much for you” the blonde smiles.
Rachel frowns, “a..are you always this w..way with people you p..pick up?”
The woman grins as the truck lurches forward with a start, “not particularly..” she pauses as a small frown appears on her face, “but to be honest, you’re my first.”
As if planned, her smile comes right back, “And a beautiful first at that”
Is this woman flirting with her? Rachel feels her face heat up, not used to this kind of banter.
The woman’s laugh is infectious, clearly enjoying the way she’s making Rachel feel. On any other night, Rachel would have questioned this behavior but after what she just went through, she can’t help but join in.
It’s through the promised introductions and small conversations that Rachel learns the woman’s name. Quinn Fabray, a longtime nurse over at the nearest county hospital, hence the midnight drive. Rachel learns that Quinn lives just on the outskirts of Portland. A fact that makes her smile, she’s enjoyed Quinn’s company and hopes that after this interaction they could even possibly be friends. But hope is a dangerous thing and it's something Rachel learned to squash a long time ago.
—---
They'd been on the road for around 30 minutes when Quinn reached out to turn down the volume before clearing her throat.
“So… I sometimes tend to stop by this small mom & pop diner on my way back home for a cup of coffee…” there's a slight pause before Quinn speaks again “would you like to join?”
Rachel had practically been falling asleep for the past few minutes but hearing Quinn’s proposal made her perk up a bit. She was already out late and adding in a cup of coffee to thank Quinn wouldn’t kill her. Rachel lets out a yawn before responding, “Yeah, I’d love to actually”
It isn’t long before Quinn pulls into a dimly lit parking lot and Rachel’s stomach begins to rumble. Although she’s never really eaten this late, Rachel feels like this is a perfect night for plenty of firsts. So when Quinn leads her to a cozy little booth in the corner and hands her a menu, Rachel doesn’t really question it at all.
It’s been less than a few seconds before an older woman in cherry red glasses waltzes up to their table.
“Good to see you again Quinnie! Will you be having your usual?” she chirps.
Quinn gives a short nod as her eyes meet with Rachel’s. It only takes the waitress a few but after scribbling on her notepad she turns towards Rachel.
“Oh! And what would your name be darling? Are you a friend of Quinnies?”
Rachel smiles as she looks towards Quinn and sees her nod in encouragement.
“Hi..” Rachel squints at the woman’s name tag, “um..Cheryl, My name is Rachel and yes..I’d hope so.”
The waitress smiles brightly, “well, any friend of Quinnies is a friend of mine, so what can I get ya hun?”
Rachel places an order for a cup of coffee and the veggie burger special with a side of tater tots. The waitress clicks her pen before placing it behind her ear.
“That’ll be right up girls, in the meantime I’ll go get your coffee!”
After Cheryl has brought the drinks and is long gone, Rachel leans into her seat and eyes the blonde.
“So…Quinnie” she teases
A soft blush appears on Quinn's face at the endearing pet name.
“You and Cheryl seem pretty close”
Quinn’s blush deepens as she rubs her arm uncomfortably before answering.
“Yeah, she and this diner have kind of been my home for the past few years”
Rachel can sense that there’s more to the story, so with some curiosity she gently pushes for more.
“Yeah?”
Quinn nods and takes a sip of her coffee.
“I’ve lived most of my life here in Maine…in fact, I used to live not too far from here..” she plays with her napkin, “it was a good life, not much to complain about.”
Quinn smiles fondly at the memories but then a slight frown graces her features, “but after I turned eighteen…” The pause is filled with some unspoken feeling as she takes another sip of her coffee. Rachel can’t quite tell what this feeling is until she sees Quinn adjust the sleeve of her shirt.
Rachel’s heart sank at the sight, she knew exactly where this was going. It's a day she tries not to think about, but the one that's haunted her ever since.
—-------
Rachel had woken up with a pep in her step. Today was the day, the day she’d finally get a small cursive letter on her wrist. A small letter that would give her a hint as to who her soulmate may be. A romantic at heart, Rachel had been counting down the days until she turned eighteen. She thought about her best friend Kurt, who had gotten his a month ago, a small cursive B. Rachel checked her wrist but didn’t see anything, maybe it took a minute to kick in? As she got dressed and made her way down the stairs with a smile, she came face to face with Santana.
“Happy Birthday pipsqueak” she ruffled Rachel’s hair with a chuckle.
“San, that’s not very nice!” Brittany, a tall bubbly blonde said.
The dark haired girl mumbled something under her breath before Brittany placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. The action shutting her up completely as a shy smile appeared on her face.
Rachel watched the interaction and felt happy for the girls, but as she saw them hold hands, she couldn't help but feel a small pang of jealousy. Santana and Brittany had been best friends since birth and when they each turned eighteen, it was to no one's surprise that their cursive script of S and B had turned into their full name the second they met one another to share the news.
It was how it worked after all, the second you came into contact with the person you were destined to be with, the small letter would spell out their full name, leaving no room for error, or so Rachel thought.
As she walked out into the foyer her fathers greeted her with hugs and kisses.
“My darling Rachel! This is a very special day!” Hiram, a towering man with grey hair and dark glasses, yelled out as he picked Rachel up and twirled her around.
“Hiram, let the girl breathe please” Leroy, a shorter curly haired man teasingly said.
“Our baby is finally eighteen and she’s about to find out who her lover will be! What isn’t there to celebrate!” Hiram sets Rachel down with a smile.
Rachel rushes to hug Leroy when back on her feet.
“It’s okay daddy, I don’t mind being picked up and twirled around” she shares a smile with Hiram as she, Leroy, Santana and Brittany walk over towards the front door.
“Besides, I’m still waiting for the letter to appear..so not much to celebrate just yet.” Rachel holds up her blank wrist with a smile.
At the mention of this, both Leroy and Hiram's smiles falter. But in an instant, they are back and stronger than before as they kiss Rachel goodbye and wave the girls off as they head to school.
The rest of the day is a blur, as Rachel gets bombarded with birthday wishes from all of her friends. It isn’t until lunch rolls around that she starts to question the lack of script on her wrist.
“So Rachel… have you found out who the lucky guy will be?” Kurt says in between bites of his salad.
“Maybe it's someone in her ballet class” her friend, Tina, says as she traces the M on her own wrist.
At the other end of the table, Mercedes looks up from her phone to dreamily chime in, “or maybe it's someone on the football team,” her own wrist clearly stating the name Sam, their school's star quarterback.
“Or maybe it's none of your business” Santana barks out as she leans into Brittany.
“Maybe it’s Jake the custodian!” the tall blonde exclaims.
The entire table turns to look over at Rachel in amusement and curiosity.
“No, it's not any of those options” she rubs her wrist uncomfortably.
“Well how would you know? Have you made eye contact with him today?” Santana says.
Kurt rolls his eyes at the girl, “oh come on, you’re telling me Rachel would be paired up with that old man? That’s ridiculous”
“Oh so you’re calling my Britts a liar then?” Santana huffs out as her arms cross against her chest.
“No, I’m just saying it would be utterly against the way this soulmate thing works…”
“So you’re the soulmate police?” Tina chimes in.
“Are the police angels?” Brittany yells out with a mouth full of chicken nuggets.
The table seems to argue amongst themselves as Rachel’s brows furrow in confusion.
“I…I actually don’t have my letter yet” she whispers out.
The entire group goes silent at her confession.
“What do you mean you don’t have your letter yet?” Kurt screeches in horror.
“Dios mio, calm down lady lips, do you want the entire school to hear?” Santana grumbles out.
Kurt takes hold of Rachel’s wrist, pushing her sweater up to her elbow and exposing it for the entire group to see.
“It’s not a bad thing right? Doesn’t it take a while to kick in?” She says.
Rachel’s eyes flicker back and forth from each one of her friends' faces, but their expressions all look the same.
“I’m sorry Rach..” Mercedes softly whispers.
Kurt looks like he's about to cry as Rachel shakes her head in confusion.
“This can’t be possible..everyone gets a letter..everyone has a soulmate right?”
Tina frowns, “I got mine when I woke up…but maybe it’ll kick in at the end of the day?”
“Oh shut up Tina, you’re making things worse!” Santana snaps as she pulls Rachel in for a hug.
This can’t be it. Rachel was promised that she’d get the letter for the love of her life…and now she’s being told she doesn’t have anyone?
Rachel abruptly pulls away from Santana and pushes herself up and away from the table.
“No..you guys are wrong…there’s no way I don’t have a soulmate…it must be wrong!” her heart beats rapidly and her eyes begin to sting.
“Hey, why don’t we just skip the rest of the day and go to that karaoke place you like?” Mercedes says.
But Rachel doesn’t hear it, her mind is plagued with thoughts of spending the rest of her life alone. Of never meeting her person, never being able to experience love. She sees the small stains across her sweater before she feels the tears running down her cheeks.
“Rach..” Brittany calls out, but it's too late.
Rachel’s long gone, running away from the cafeteria, away from her friends, and away from it all.
Rachel’s been wandering aimlessly for hours and her feet practically give out as she sits on a park bench. It isn't until she’s sure there’s no one around where she truly lets her emotions flow freely. The sobs wrack through her body as her heart shatters into a million pieces. It’s one thing to wonder about her potential partner and dream about what could be. But it's an entirely different thing to know that there is no one out there for her. That she’s completely alone.
Rachel feels the soft rays of the setting sun as her phone vibrates with a hundred missed calls and texts. Her head aches and her body feels completely numb, but as she’s enveloped by the darkness of the night, Rachel makes a decision. She hardens her heart, wipes away a few final tears and picks herself up to begin the long and lonely trek back home.
—----
The loud clanking of ceramic plates being set down brings her back to the small diner, back to Quinn.
“Here ya go, one veggie burger special for the lovely lady and one breakfast platter with extra bacon for my girl”
Quinn smiles and silently thanks Cherly before digging into her food. It’s after a few beats that she speaks again.
“I never got a soulmate…much to my parents and friends' disappointment” Quinn says.
“I thought that going away for college would help cure the heartache..but after watching people fall in love left and right…I knew I couldn’t stay” She sets her fork down.
“Besides I kind of missed the solitude Maine tends to offer…so I made my way back”
Quinn takes a hearty bite of her pancake, chewing slowly before speaking once more, “and for the past ten years that’s kind of been my life”
Rachel softly smiles, understanding the blonde’s situation. With everyone knowing who they’d end up with at eighteen, it didn’t leave much room for dating or romance. Although it was strange…amidst the shared loss of their forever person, Rachel felt somewhat reassured knowing that she was not the only one who was destined to walk through life alone. Wanting to lighten the mood, Rachel sets her veggie burger down.
“Hey, at least you're Cheryl's girl right?” she teases.
Rachel feels the warmth that blooms within her chest as she sees Quinn's demeanor change. The blonde’s shoulders loosen and a playful smile stretches across her face.
“Exactly!”
Quinn’s laughter is light and filled with immense joy, something that Rachel hasn’t really experienced in a long time. Watching Quinn makes Rachel wonder how this woman has been able to stay so positive in life, even with the no soulmate situation.
The question is out of Rachel’s mouth before she has a chance to take it back. “How do you stay so positive, Quinn?”
Quinn arches a brow in question, not expecting this direct statement to be thrown her way. Something deep within Rachel stirred as Quinn's eyes pierced into her.
“I..I’m sorry…I don’t mean to be rude..I just haven’t found a way to do so myself” Rachel confesses.
Quinn’s expression shifts from defensive to pained and lands on a soft smile before speaking up.
“I just.. try not to dwell on it. Over the yearsI’ve learned that life's filled with so much more beauty than all of this” she points towards her blank wrist.
“Plus there’s something nice about being able to just live your life without stressing over who A or C or M may be, don’t you think?”
Rachel wishes to ask more questions but as Quinn takes a long sip from her coffee, it signals the end of that conversation.
They eat the rest of their meal in silence. Until Cheryl comes back around with a dessert menu, which Quinn happily orders from. They chat about menial things over a slice of apple pie. The heavy weight of their previous conversation is long gone by the time they finish up and head towards the door. As Rachel waits for Quinn to pay, she sees the blonde slip a hefty tip into Cheryl's apron before thanking her once again for the meal. Rachel feels her heart warm up at the sight, how could someone as sweet as Quinn not have a soulmate? Rachel sighs as she loses herself in thought. She doesn’t notice Quinn, until the blonde is standing next to her with a hand on her shoulder.
“All set?”
Rachel jumps slightly, as she feels her cheeks warm up. If Quinn had noticed her staring she doesn’t say a thing, she just grins and guides her back towards the beat up truck.
Once inside, the blonde turns on the radio before shifting her body to back the truck up and out of the parking lot. A few locks of golden hair slip out of her claw clip and onto her face. Quinn huffs slightly before pushing them behind her ear, Rachel gaze follows the quick action.
“Is there anything you’d like to listen to on the way back home?” Quinn asks.
Rachel’s mouth has gone dry and she feels as if all the breath has been taken out of her lungs.
“There’s a case in the glove box with a couple of cd’s if you’d like to look through it”
Rachel can’t believe it, it’s not possible, this must be some kind of joke. She feels like she’s going to throw up any second.
“Sorry for the immense catalog of 80’s hair metal cds..” the blonde blushes as she maneuvers the truck and pulls it out of the parking spot with ease, “I’m kind of a big fan…but I trust you not to tell anyone”
Rachel can barely utter out a word as she stares at the small star behind Quinn’s ear.
“Ready?” Quinn says with a smile as she turns to look at Rachel.
All Rachel can do is nod as Quinn lets out a small laugh.
“I’m guessing you’re more of a bubblegum pop girl, huh? Don’t worry, I’ve got that in there too”
Quinn hums along to the music as Rachel sits in silence. It’s not until they pull into her driveway that Rachel gives a whispered goodbye as she watches Quinn’s truck slowly pull away.
Rachel’s head spins out of control, she can barely recall how she made it back into her apartment. It’s like her body has a mind of its own, reeling from the events of the night. Rachel finds herself slowly stripping off her jeans, almost as if she’s in a trance. In the darkness of the night, Rachel stumbles through her apartment, slipping out of Quinn’s jacket and peeling off the thin cardigan underneath. A trail of clothing leading to her bathroom is all that's left in Rachel’s wake as she stands silently in front of the mirror. In nothing but her undergarments under the pale moonlight, Rachel feels her body begin to shiver. Her hand shakes as it slowly makes its way past her stomach down her waist and lands on her hip, until it gently tugs down on the thin lace fabric of her blue underwear. Rachel’s eyes begin to water as her other hand covers her lips with a soft sigh. Rachel knew she recognized that star, she’d recognize it anywhere. There was no mistaking it, it's the same one that’s been haunting her reflection since she turned eighteen.