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Sometimes, after he'd left, he'd look at the moon. Inaccessible, far above, magnificent. And he thought of them. All his friends in Bofurin. All his friends he'd left behind in Makochi. He never knew the others were looking at the moon too.
Here, it was different. Happiness, vibrancy, and the spirit of friendship could never exist here because all the walls were too high and, above all, impenetrable. In any case, they were designed that way for a reason: the mistrust the people in his city felt. For everyone. The first time Suo met Sakura, he thought he was exactly like them, but little by little, he came to trust Suo and Nirei. Suo hated having ruined everything with them. Every night, when no one was around, he retreated into his thoughts because the truth was too painful to live with in the present moment.
The second time, when he decided to forget Furin, he knew with a certain clarity that he was no longer part of Bofurin. The friendship he had shared vanished, and in his dreams, which quickly turned into nightmares, he heard their voices breaking and dancing in the wind. At least he would swear to his brothers. They simply watched him, worried. In their eyes, he resembled a man he couldn't accept, a man whose entire life had been shattered. He stood dangerously close to a cliff overlooking a deep chasm from which he could never escape, and it was all his own fault.
Who is he now?
What is he doing now?
With a heavy heart, he raised his eyes to the pale, mocking, ghostly face of the moon. "You're mocking me!" he cried to the sky.
Nirei looked at the moon too. Behind his bedroom window, his cell phone lay on the floor beside him, filled with all the messages he'd sent to Suo. They all went unanswered, but Nirei crossed his fingers. Suo had to say something, and if it took time, Nirei was determined to wait.
However, Suo had punched him in the face and told him all those horrible things the last time they met. Logically, he shouldn't cry over Suo. After all, he had made his choice. And that choice had led him to abandon Furin. Everything rested on Nirei to put it all back together again because, while he couldn't beat him, in his mind, he was the most stubborn of everyone in Furin. In reality, he was lost without him. Suo was an integral part of something, and now it was all shattered. The night was silent; the little crickets, with their usually cheerful chirping, had ceased, as if they had all died at once.
Suo was never his friend in the first place. He lied to everyone, betrayed their trust, and finally, he disappeared after beating Nirei up. There was no reason to feel sorry for him, so why would he want to do exactly that? Suo didn't care about Bofurin, Nirei, or Sakura. There was an empty space where Suo should have been, a forgotten desk in the classroom. Nirei was angry. It was a blazing flame and a painful reminder that Suo was a jerk in the worst possible way. His easy smile always followed him because your best friend, even one who left so naturally you'd think he'd never been there, was always on his mind. "You're right, Suo. I've become stronger."
Sakura felt nothing. His heart was completely broken. Suo was supposed to be his friend. Sakura truly thought he could be happy here, that he could have friends and they could live happily ever after, but Sakura's life wasn't a fairy tale. It was fucked up. Life had never given Sakura anything to hold onto. He was foolish to think otherwise. He was a curse, so the universe decided to punish him with the knowledge that everyone would abandon him. Still, who could love someone like Haruka Sakura?
He'd had nightmares every night since Suo left. Sometimes he'd wake up trembling, breathless and ragged. And yet, he never let himself cry. One of his best friends…was gone. And the scariest thing? There was no indication he'd come back. "You little shit," he muttered to no one. He tossed and turned in bed before sitting up with the covers around his shoulders.
The moon…That motherfucker. She watched him when he was abused. She watched him when he ran here. She was the only thing he could rely on was there. Sakura didn't think he could face his friends. Not like this, anyway. He didn't want them to see him in his current state. It was something he wasn't ready to share with them, but now, with Suo gone, he didn't think he'd ever be ready. If everyone abandons him like Suo did, what's the point?
People are nothing but problems. At the end of the day, Sakura knew he was always alone. It was his destiny. It was stupid to deny it.