Chapter Text
The dorm room suddenly felt a lot smaller after Kate's parents had bid her goodbye, leaving her alone in a beige, bare room with two suitcases and the feeling that she'd made some kind of irrevocable mistake.
She'd wanted this ever since the tenth grade—she hadn't even applied to other colleges, convinced that her destiny was to study history at Zuzu University and that nothing else would do. Even on the ride to the campus from the suburbs where she had lived the last nine years with her parents, she couldn't stop talking to them about all the classes she was going to take, the things she would do, the people she would meet, the discoveries she would study. She'd been waiting all summer for the moment that she was finding herself in right then.
And she was terrified.
She was on her own for the first time in her life, even if she was surrounded by thousands of other young adults all more or less in the same boat as her. Her new room was impersonal and daunting with the two empty beds on either side like judgmental sentinels. Kate had never felt so small and unsure before.
She hadn't even met whoever she was going to be spending the rest of the school year living—
"Hey! You must be Kate."
Kate turned as another girl, a little shorter than her, was pulling an overstuffed suitcase through the door of the room. Her straight, light brown hair was striped with purple and cut just above her shoulders, her face freckled below light brown eyes as she beamed at Kate.
"I'm Ramona—you can call me Ray though." She dropped her backpack on one of the two beds, hopping up onto the mattress after it. "I guess we're going to be roommates, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Kate replied, still trying to take in all of the energy that had bustled into the room with Ray's arrival. She set her own backpack on the unoccupied bed behind her. "Uh, are you from the city?"
"No, I'm from a couple hours west of here," Ray explained, her legs swinging idly. "Zuzu University has one of the best advertising programs in the country. What about you? What's your major?"
"History." Kate folded her arms around her middle, still somewhat awkwardly standing in the middle of their shared room. "I'm not— I'm just from right outside the city so… not that far away."
"That's nice! It'll be easier for you to go home whenever you want." Then Ray jumped down from the bed, crossing back toward the door. "Have you had a chance to wander around campus yet? We could go together, get to know each other a little bit."
"Oh, um…" Kate glanced between Ray and the suitcases at her own feet and tried to tamp down the dread and anxiety still sitting in her chest. She could tell the other girl only meant well, but all Kate really wanted to do was sit on her new bed and cry for a while until she was too tired to think about how out of place she felt, and she frantically tried to think of a way to let her roommate down gently.
But Ray's face fell into embarrassment before Kate could say anything. "Sorry, I got carried away again. You probably want to get settled, right?" She reached for the doorknob, gesturing beyond the door with her other hand. "I'll give you some time to get unpacked and everything."
Kate's stomach dropped at the thought of being alone in the too small, too empty room again. "Wait!" she called after Ray, who stopped immediately in the doorway. Kate cringed a little at her yelling, but continued, "I'm sorry, I'm just— I was expecting to be so excited to be here, and now I'm here and I just feel… sad. And I don't know how much fun I'd be to talk to right now."
Ray's face quickly morphed into understanding, and she waved a dismissive hand. "Oh man, don't feel bad about that. I cried at least three times on the train ride into the city. I'm sure half the freshman are a mess right now."
A surprised laugh escaped from Kate, and Ray's face brightened. "It might help a little if you walked around and saw how confused and nervous everyone else is too. But it's totally up to you."
A walk did sound slightly relaxing, and the knot of nerves and fear in Kate's stomach finally started to relax itself. "Yeah, let's go walk around."
Ray grinned at Kate—a wide, toothy smile—and for a split second Kate recalled glimpses and foggy memories of a little girl with the same smile who'd chased her through thick woods and around fields of crops when she was still a child.
Ray noticed her pause and cocked her head. "You sure you're ok?"
Kate smiled back. "Yeah; it's nothing, you just… kind of remind me of someone I used to know a long time ago."