Chapter Text
“Look, I get it. You’re used to the 40s when women were still mainly seen as inferior. Fair enough.” Toni taps her finger impatiently on the stainless steel kitchen counter. “But when you start pushing your traditional gender roles on me-”
“Miss Stark with all due respect I never meant to-” Steve cuts in.
“Excuse you, I wasn’t finished speaking! Actually, you’ll fit in the modern world just fine! Men rudely interupt me all the time because they don’t feel the need to listen to a female speaking.”
It’s been like this for two months now. Toni Stark and Steve Rogers seem to be butting heads as soon as they enter the same room. When they first met, they locked eyes and a spark ignited. That same burning spark is fueling hatred. They became allies to take down Loki and that was it. They parted going their separate ways, dealing with their own problems by themselves. That was, until Nick Fury mandated the Avengers live together and Pepper Potts agreed that Stark Tower was the best suited place. It made logical sense. Anyday and/or everyday could be the time that the world comes to end. The Avengers would need to be in a close proximity if that were to occur. They could also work on team building activities. With a genius with abandonment issues, two distrusting spies, and unearthly Thunder God, a giant green monster/scientist, and a lonely super soldier, there could always be room for improvement.
However, Toni wasn’t okay with this. She shouldn’t have to deal with another betrayal or heartbreak and that is the only way she sees this situation ending. She also isn’t the most social person. She enjoys her own creation of robots. While they’re annoying, they love her unconditionally. She can’t say the same for people. She likes being in her lab all day it the only way she can cope with… life. Not to mention the fact that Pepper, the love of her life, broke up with her. They ended on good terms, Pepper said she needed the break up because she was selfish. But Toni can read between the lines. Pepper figured out Toni wasn't good enough for her anymore.
Not to mention the fact that not only does she have to live with people, but she has to live with abnormal people. There isn’t anything wrong with being abnormal, but in this case abnormal is a definite negative connotation. Natasha Romanov has made herself perfectly clear that she doesn’t think Toni belongs on this team. Natasha thinks she is a narcissist and is self-destructive. Toni is being judged by how she acted when she was dying. Natasha can’t seem to grasp that fact that she has Toni all wrong. Yeah, she is messed up, but her goal is to help people not hurt them. And approving her Iron Armor, but not her is a low blow. They are fine using her fancy gadgets and toys and can even live in her own tower, but wants nothing to do with Toni. Seems perfectly fair. Not to mention the fact that Natasha went undercover in Stark Industries. She can easily slip into different characters, into different people, Toni can’t trust Natasha.
Moving on to Clint Barton, he doesn’t seem to bad, but yet again he is a spy so who knows. He likes puns way to much. He eats too much food and he is smelly. Overall, he’s not bad. Toni doesn’t know him too well. Her opinion may be biased though. Clint was under Loki’s brainwashing spell from the tesseract. She feels for him. Toni has experienced some of the worst things to exist in this world, but she always had full control of her mind. She can imagine having that taken away from her. In her eyes, Clint deserves an award for getting up every morning.
Thor isn’t too bad. He did choke Toni the first time they met and no one cared, but to be fair she didn’t really care if she died at that moment either. Thor is still trying to learn what it’s like on earth and human customs. He has a tendency to break everything he touches. Toni is ordering a new TV every week from mishaps usually caused by Thor (sometimes Clint) and that’s when he is happy. Toni isn’t sure if she is ready to see Thor get upset again any time soon.
Bruce Banner is a welcoming addition to the group. Bruce and her can have an intellectual conversation which is refreshing. Toni can tell Bruce appreciates her by not being afraid of him because he is the Hulk. Toni makes sure to poke fun at him (figuratively and literally) which make him smile. Bruce hasn’t done anything to hurt or insult her which is a plus, but sometimes Bruce seems to take her for granted. He zones out sometimes when she talks, granted she does rant, but friends are supposed to listen to each other. Bruce and her haven’t been talking too much since Toni made him his own lab. Maybe they’re not friends.
Which leaves the one and only Steve Rogers. Howard Stark was wrong. Steve isn’t this perfect human being that he made Steve out to be. Steve is just as flawed as any other human on this planet. He is hard headed and controlling and obnoxious. And he needs to get off his damn pedestal. However, Toni could never comprehend what he’s going through. Waking up almost seven decades in the future with everyone he has ever known and/or loved is dead. She can relate to be quite honest, but it’s not the same. However, that does not give him the right to be a complete dick to her. She gave him all the art supplies that he would ever need and gave him records and and old record player from when he was a kid. She does everything she thinks could make him feel more welcome in the new era, but his only reply is a new insult. To her personality, family, habits, or god forbid her sex. Frankly, she shouldn’t have to put up with it.
“Miss Stark, I only meant to imply that you should be more careful. Maybe even take some time off. You are vulnerable-” Steve puts his hands out in front of him to calm Toni.
“Stop! Stop acting like I’m the one being irrational. Newsflash, our jobs are dangerous. I literally wear a bodysuit of armor that I created myself. I’m protected and I can protect myself just as well as anyone else on this team.” Toni points out waving her hands around.
“I’m just saying you’re a woman so-”
“And you didn’t seem to care about my safety when I launched myself and a Nuclear bomb into a portal. As I recall I didn’t get so much as a ‘good job’ and I sure as hell didn’t get any concern whatsoever from my own damn teammates.” She rants. Toni can feel the arc reactor start to fail or maybe that was just paranoia. She couldn’t bring herself to care when she starts to shake in anger. Still wearing her armor, she faced Steve Rogers almost reaching his height. She takes off her faceplate so she can make eye contact. “You didn’t care then and you don’t care now. So deal with the fact that I’m your teammate or get off my property. Yeah, I don’t have super strength like you, but I sure am stronger than you are. And you are NOT taking me off this team.”
“Fine, you can stay on this team.” Steve relents glaring at her.
“As if I need your permission.” Toni grumbles.
“But you are going to work on your hand-to-hand combat. So this afternoon you will be in the gym and you will spar with me.”
“Actually I have much more important stuff to do than waving my fists around. I own Stark Industries and I want to continue creating my brand new invention.”
“You will be there or you’re not going on the next mission.” Steve threatens.
Typical. Steve hangs his authority over head. Well she’ll see about that. “If you don’t let me go on the next mission you aren’t going to be using the Stark jet. You know because it’s mine. Let’s not forget that I practically own the Avengers and most of Shield. Without my contributions you wouldn’t be standing here right now.”
“Well, the Avengers does exist and since it does, I’m still the Captain. You will be there and that’s an order.” Steve storms off heading toward the elevator far away from Toni.
“We’ll see about that.” Toni mutters to herself.
Toni does what she usually does when Captain hardass pisses her off, she heads to her lab. He can say whatever he wants and he can even take her off the team, but he can’t take away her safe place, her home, and that is her lab.
She practically runs to her lab trying not to let the argument get to her. As soon as she is emotionally affected people stop looking at her like a human being, but like an oversensitive child. She remembers when she announced that Stark Industries would stop making weapons after she was kidnapped and tortured. She didn’t shed a tear, but as soon as she got just a bit choked up the media ran with it. Next thing she knew the media was questioning whether or not she could make a simple decision. Did she have PTSD? (Yes.) Does Toni Stark have the authority to make those type of choices? (Yes, she was CEO at the time.) Is she too emotional? Was she on her period? (Even if she was that wouldn’t affect her judgement.) Sexism in the media at it’s finest. Men can make a stupid irresponsible choice and that’s fine, but if a person with a vagina does it, they are held to a much higher accountability. (Not that discontinuing weapons was an irresponsible choice because it wasn’t.) It’s ridiculous. And that’s just the media, Steve is a living model of hypocrisy when it involves women. Toni has a theory that Steve takes everything out on her because he doesn’t have friends that are women and Natasha wouldn’t hesitate to maim Steve.
Once she sees her multiple screens and tech awaiting her, she realizes she made a decision to ignore Steve. “Jarvis, please set up lock down protocol. I don’t want anyone in my lab not even Pepper or Rhodey. I’m not to be interrupted unless there is an emergency or there is the Avenger’s call to assemble.”
“As you wish, Miss.” Her artificial intelligence replies in a resigned voice.
“And if Steve comes along tell him to go away.” Toni mutters. She heads to her cabinet to grab a nice bottle of scotch. Alcohol is a nice way to make her numb. She isn’t strong enough to feel anything right now. She doesn’t want to feel anything at the moment. Instead of getting a glass she drinks straight from the bottle. No one can judge her while she’s by herself. After she chugs a quarter of the bottle and gently pets Dum-E she turns back to her new projects. She is always creating new weapons and protective devices for her teammates. Magnetic and exploding arrows for Clint. An energy blasting gauntlet for Natasha. Jetpack based shoes for Steve. Thor and Bruce get unbreakable dummies to beat up. And that’s just the stuff she created that week. She is always creating new things. No one really reacts to her gifts. She knows where she stands, they don’t care about her. Toni hopes they at least appreciate she inventions. She caught Clint using his new arrows once and that filled her with pride. At least she is good for something.
Toni is the kind of person to never sleep. Her mind is constantly churning nonstop. She can’t just can’t take a break when the next creation the conjures up could change the world. She doesn’t have time for the luxury of sleep. If she isn’t inventing the next clean energy or revolutionary prosthetics she was making gadgets for her teammates or even making them extra rooms for training or fun. She just recently made a new gym for everyone's use, targets practicing room, and a lounge with the biggest TV screen on the planet (she would know she made it). Of course with these rooms comes other work to be done. Steve needs a special type of punching bag so it can withstand his super strength. Clint needs holographic targets or else all the targets will all be destroyed within fifteen minutes. Thor needs a fridge that he can’t break in his grip.
Then, Stark Industries is always on her about the next invention to expand the company and therefore gain more profit. Shield is now getting more and more impatient and she needs to continue making them whatever it is they desire. On top of all that she needs to repair her suits and she is always making her armor better to insure that she won’t die on the next mission. Toni doesn’t have any time to relax and she sure as hell doesn’t have time to sleep.
She’s never complains, a few dozen cups of coffee and she’s good to go. It’s just sometimes she doesn’t think people understand how hard she works. To be completely honest, she feels like her own house mates take her granted. She can’t remember the last time someone said thank you. Not even when she was ‘the one to make the sacrifice play.’ When she flew that nuke into the portal. She just realized that she brought the ‘New York City incident’ up to Steve. How could she be so thoughtless to throw her own personal thoughts into a conversation with him. In sudden flash memories flood back in her mind. Her breath is taken away when she feels herself weightless in that portal. She feels that moment and she knows she’s about to die.
Toni can hardly tell if the ground was under her feet. Her vision begins to become fuzzy and her legs begin to shake uncontrollably. Water begins to fill her mouth and lungs and suddenly she can’t breathe. She’s back in a cave in Afghanistan. Pain takes over her body and she collapses on the floor trying to get rid of the visions that haunt her everyday. Maybe she could just end it. No one would miss her and she may finally be in peace. Toni is awakened by the flashback when a foreign substance tracks down her cheeks. She opens her eyes and wipes her eyes realizing that she is crying. No it can’t be. She’s a Stark. Starks don’t cry. Toni starts to whimper willing the torturous thoughts to leave her mind. There was an awful heavy pain in her heart.
A whirring sound approached her. She peeks up from her hands to see U with a lotioned tissue in his claw. She lets a big gulp of oxygen enter her body.
“Thanks, U.” She whispers taking the tissue. “At least you care about me.”
She gets up from the floor and looks down at her chest. Her arc reactor shines bright blue back at her and she couldn’t help, but feel a bit disappointed that her heart continues to beat. She take a swig from the bottle and turns towards her next assignment.
Later on, Toni wasn’t surprised when she here’s a pounding on her lab door. She may have strong doors, but they are nothing compared to an angry super soldier. She glances at the time on her computer screen to see the time, 5:00 pm blink at her. Hmm, hours sometimes fly by when she works.
“Jarvis is the lockdown protocol still in place?”
“Yes, Miss. However Mr. Rogers doesn’t seem to like it.”
“Yeah, I can hear that. Did you tell him to go away?” Toni questions.
“Multiple times. He wishes to speak to you.”
Toni look at the security feed to see the one and only Steve Rogers body slamming her lab door.
“Okay. Let me talk to him.” Toni requests.
“Yes, Miss.” Jarvis turns on the audio to the outside room and Toni takes a deep breathe before speaking.
“You can keep trying to break down my door, but nothing will happen. They’re invincible for a reason.” Toni states.
“Toni?” Steve asks breathing heavily.
“That would be me.” She answers in her best bored tone.
“You said you’d work on your hand-to-hand combat.” He reminds her.
“No you ordered me to spar with you and I ignored you.” Toni corrects him.
“If you can’t follow orders now, how can I trust you out on the field?”
“You know damn well that when I disobey an order it’s for the greater good. It’s because there is a better option. One that doesn’t involve innocent people dying. How long are you going to punish me for saving lives?”
Steve rests his head against the concrete and steel door. “Toni…”
“And this isn’t about following orders this is about you pushing me around. Guess what, Capsicle? You can’t bully me into doing what you want.”
“What?” Steve asks gobsmacked. “I never…”
“Uh yeah you kind of do. So why don’t you let me be. If I was in real danger Rhodey would tell me. If you actually wanted to blackmail me into getting kicked off the team, Fury would’ve called me by now. Give it up Steve. You don’t have a leg to stand on.”
Part of her is proud that she is defending herself against Captain America without directly provoking an argument. The other part of her is freaking out because she is worried he is going to break in and beat the living shit out of her. Not that she thinks America’s most beloved hero would do that, but she can be paranoid. The threat of pain is always there looming over her.
When she is met with silence she looks up at the video feed to see a distressed Steve walking away. Good. Maybe he finally listened to her for once. After another mouthful of alcohol she gets back to work. She doesn’t have the luxury to waste time. Not another second.