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Saps heard the whispers that echoed around him.
‘Therians can’t be trusted’
’They are out for blood’
Although many efforts have been placed into removing such prejudice around Therians, it was never enough. Outright malice was changed into a more passive aggressive approach, conversations stopped whenever he approached, half-hearted excuses made up, condescending glances thrown at his way. Saps grown desensitised by it, he lived like this his whole life after all.
There always existed this silent rule: You may interact with a Therian, but never get close to them. The omen of death carried by them may be transferred to you.
Yes there are some sympathetic glances his way, his siblings who were too close to not see the toll it took on him — never in his place though, that’s the last thing he wants. Citizens who knew better than follow the superstitions, offering him silent support when he had run-ins with people who still carried those traditional values. ish who felt the most guiltly, allowing his creations to take it this far, Saps never blamed him though, it’s not up to him to control his creations — his belief in autonomy coursing through every action he takes.
However it felt like the order he was once used to was broken — when he met Flux. “Saps I’m going to be honest with you, you could be an alien for all I care, I can't be bothered with these omen of death things. It’s stupid and everyone is missing out on what an amazing person you are if not for these superstitions surrounding you.” His voice softened “I’ve had my run-ins with death already, considering I’m still alive I’m sure it counts to negate that omen no?”
Safe to say it wasn’t Saps greatest moment as he finally broke from the hell he had been put through before it. It was worth it for Flux though, he would go to hell and back for the comfort he gives him.
The next two months felt like a breath of fresh air. Flux had been his pillar of support — standing up for him, comforting him through the times where doubt plagued his mind. His siblings had noticed of course, Jophiel pointing out how Saps looked lighter than he had since he was a kid, Micro agreeing. He even became the mediator for Island 2, finally feeling like he made it after a long time of self-hate and hesitation.
‘Maybe things can actually take a turn for the better.”
…
He was devastated when news of Jophiel’s death reached him. Jophiel who had helped clean his wings after someone would rip them apart, the one who would wrap his wounds in bandages as she whispered steady reassurances to a kid who didn’t feel like he deserved such happiness. Saps was ridden with guilt, he couldn’t function like a normal person after that. Flux was there with him through it, insisting he visited his sister at her funeral before she was officially buried, allowing him to lean on someone — just like the pillar he was. For that split moment, he felt he was finally allowed to breathe, just take a pause to mourn his sister without having to watch his back all the time.
However it all crashed along with the sounds of crushing dripstones, surrounding him, the disgusted faces of everyone hitting him all at once. As he ran, his body trembled — partly from fear, mostly from the thought of losing this paradise he had built with Flux.
A horrifying realisation came up in him, he had built the place with Flux. The culprit wasn’t someone he had hated in the past that's back to get him. It was the person that shielded him from those people in the first place.
He couldn’t stop to think, he had to keep running, Jo was dead, Snow had betrayed him, Micro was unreachable, and just like that he was dunked underwater again.
…
Everything was a blur, after being betrayed yet again by someone – that by now, he had grown accustomed not to trust, his legs brought him to the snowy tundra, mechanically building the very thing that could bring him peace — he can’t trust anything else after all.
Standing atop his tower he gazed downwards, his memories flashing across his eyes.
‘Is this how it ends?’
He always thought he would die surrounded by his siblings, it might not be a happy event, but at least there was solace to it. Now one is dead, the other is missing and the last doesn’t want to talk to him
“Snowbird…say something! Jophiel is dead! And you helped kill her! Can you sleep at night? Sleep knowing that half the reason why she is dead is because of you? Snow…whatever happened to promising we would stick together for eternity. Was it an empty promise to all of us?” Saps screamed until his throat hurt, voice cracking. Hot tears spilled from his eyes, he gasped for air between sobs.
He expected retaliation, maybe a physical altercation. But all he was met with was cold indifference.
“Saparata, it’s time for your trial.”
He wonders how Flux would’ve reacted to his death, grief? Anger? Sadness? Or maybe he wouldn't even bat an eye?
He really was going to die like this. Preparing to step off the ledge, his movements were halted when he remembered a conversation from a few years ago.
He was beaten badly, bruises littered his skin as one of his wings was twisted the wrong way. His face was streaked with tears as he had sobbed and cried from the pain of Jophiel treating him. After he was properly bandaged and lulling back to sleep, Jophiel had mused.
“You know Saps… it would be really cool if one day I could see that you finally found a place where you belong, surrounded by friends, a partner maybe" Jo sighed at the last part. “I promise, one day, it will get better. It doesn't mean that your problems will be completely resolved, but it means that some days won't feel so bad anymore. Meanwhile what matters is that you live for yourself, don't let anything hold you back. Okay?”
Saps nodded, too tired to speak.
Jophiel’s words rang through his mind — ‘live for myself…’
Why should he die when he still has so much to live for? ish eyed him suspiciously, wondering if Saps was going to jump of not.
Saps stepped off.
.
.
.
Coming down from the tower he turned to ish – whose eyes widened when he had not fallen off the tower.
“If I’m going to die, I will take him down with me.”
Standing up for himself was certainly a challenge, he met problems left and right. The prejudice of Therians increased tenfold after his accusation of murder, it only went along with what was whispered about him after all. When Schpood finally gave him a chance he had grasped it firmly in his hand, the feeling was like navigating through a landmine — one wrong move and it’s over for him.
From all the assasination attempts, the amount of things he was framed of, having to witness his brother and the love of his life bestfriend betray him. The sleepless nights he spent staring into nothingness trying to find anything to keep him going, the breathlessness he felt while being chased, wondering if it's the last breath he was going to take. The thoughts that ran through his mind, all telling him:
“What’s the point of continuing?”
Despite all of the rejections, scorn, disdain, cruelty and betrayals — he refuses to give up like this. The opportunity is right in his reach, and he wasn’t going to let it go.
…
cynikka was doomed to fall.
He expected a certain someone’s name to appear alongside hers.
But it never appeared.
“Flux escaped!!”
“He swam through the lava!?”
This can’t be…after all that? He just…runs away?
Watching the splotches of orange, blue, black runs through his vision, his mind raced — not from the adversity he faced, but the moments where he truly felt happy.
It was all with him.
…
“Saps you should take care of yourself…the paperwork can wait.” Flux pleaded with him, gently grasping at his hands to stop him from writing.
”It’s just a bit more, I swear I’ll stop after this last bit.” Saps turned his gaze over to Flux’s eyes only to be met with desperation.
Faced with his insistence he finally caved and decided to retire to bed — with Flux carefully observing him, finally breathing out a sigh of relief when Saps was properly tucked in.
It was just between the two of them when Saps woke up to the mountain of documents being completed
“Saps! C’mon! It’s snowing! You gotta see this!” Flux awed at the white specks of snow floating down from the sky, raising his gloved hand in order to touch it.
“It’s such a shame that it would get dirty quickly…eventually it will become a pain in the ass to clean it up.” Saps let out a grimace at that, imagining himself falling over water puddles made of melted snow.
“I wouldn’t mind cleaning it, if it means that I could admire ii for the times when it isn’t dirty or melting.”
Saps lets out a non-committal hum of agreement, staring at the snowflakes that crossed his peripheral vision.
“I hope spring comes soon.” Saps muttered absentmindedly, “That’s the easiest way to melt the ice away.”
“I on the other hand…hope winter lasts forever.”
“FLUX!” Saps gasped for air, laughing as he was met with his poor attempt at cooking.
“Hey..?” Flux smiled, trying to distract him from the nightmare of their kitchen.
“Why are you even cooking? The last time you tried to cook you almost burned the house down.” Saps finally wheezed when he had caught his breath.
“I wanted to surprise you…” Flux pouted, making Saps feel the tiniest bit of guilt for laughing at his predicament.
“Here, let me help.” Saps threw away the brownish pile of goop and took out another bowl from their cabinet, guiding Flux slowly with the patience other people could only dream of.
“But why would you add salt if it’s meant to be sweet..?” Flux glared at the salt like it offended him.
“It helps enhance the sweetness of the treat as a whole.”
“That’s bullshit.” Flux scowled
Saps went into a fit of giggles, “Whatever you say Flux.”
Eventually they finished making brownies, each cutting a slice from the tray and taking a bite.
“…Hey it actually tastes good?”
“Yeah because I helped make it.”
“And it doesn’t taste salty!”
“I told you! And you didn’t believe me.”
The pair erupted into a fit of giggles, exchanging light banter while they happily ate the brownies they made together.
…
He knew he didn’t have much time, Flux is on the run and it’s only a matter of time before he creates a new plan, launching the two islands into another bout of chaos.
He takes out his communicator, and searched for his and Flux’s chat
Saps:
Colosseum now.
Saps prayed that Flux still had a trace of empathy left in his heart, to accept his request. He prayed that he still had some sort of impact on Flux. But did he really mean that much to him? As if ish had answered his prayers, a notification from Flux appeared.
Flux:
Ok.
He doesn't know what had went on in his mind but he had actually agreed. Deep down Saps hoped that it was because of some trace of empathy he still had — empathy for the one he wrongly accused, that made him accept it.
…
Meeting face to face with the man who ruined a good portion of his life, felt conflicting. On one hand he was the cause of his sufferings, the months of running, months of relentless paranoia — being unable to sleep for days on end in case he was spotted. He remembers the times he had brushed close with people, most looked at him in scorn, some tried to capture him, handing him over to the Commonwealth, others wanting to take matters into their own hands.
But despite all this, he still cared for Flux — he adored the way his face crinkles when he smiles widely, the way he would gently tend to his wings when he was too tired to do so.
He had tormented himself over this fact “How? How could I still love him regardless of everything he’s done to me?” He should hate him, but everytime he thinks of Flux, his mind turns to those intimate moments they had spent together in their own space and he can’t help but miss those moments.
“You actually showed up.” Saps didn’t know what he was meant to feel. Bewilderment? Anger? Sadness? Maybe even joy that only one of them would walk out of this colosseum alive?
“Can’t say no to a friend can I?” A friend. After how he acted all these months, it certainly didn’t feel that way.
Saps scoffed “Let’s make this a fair fight shall we?”
Echoes of screams could be heard in the distance, all crying out for help.
All this…was this what Flux had wanted? People dying? People who even if they survive they still might have to wake up to their loved ones dead?
“Flux, look at all these people — dying because of you.” A flicker of guilt tore through his eyes, before quickly being hidden underneath a layer of condescension.
“You know Saps, I’m sorry for everything you had to go through.”
That’s it? A sorry? Saps couldn't even be surprised anymore, letting out a scoff as he prepared to fight the man standing before him.
…
Blood pooled on the floor.
One moment his axe was clashing against Flux’s shield, the next he was clutching at Flux’s limp body in the middle of the colosseum.
That's it right? That’s what he wanted…right?
“Hey Saps.” Flux rasped.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the fact I used your house to assassinate the leaders, sorry for framing you for the assassintion and sorry for causing the whole world to turn against you. I know you probably won't forgive now or ever, but if I’m leaving this world I’m not leaving it with regrets.” He winced as a wave of pain overtook him.
“Just shut up! You're making yourself lose more blood!-” Saps whispered, desperation clinging to every word he said.
Why did he feel this way? He's meant to hate the man in front of him, but why is there this lingering ache in his chest that he can't spell out?
“Saps I love you, there's not a single day that I didn't regret picking you to take the blame. I had been too stubborn – too in denial to believe that sense of warmth around you was real, brushing it away for what I thought could truly bring peace. If I were to think about it now, I really only felt at ease when I was spending time with you, mining for diamonds… building your vacation home that started this whole mess. Maybe if I had been a little bit more selfish, things would have been different. I hope that once I’m gone, you can forget me – forget the pain and sorrow that I brought to you. And truly live freely like you were always meant to.” Flux choked out, letting out a fit of coughs.
Looking at the man underneath him, struggling to even breathe, he finally realised.
He loved him
He hates how he so meticulously orchestrated his downfall, he hated how he had been the reason why they were here in the first place. But he loved him, loved him for those tender moments they shared, how he would quietly offer his help in such small but many ways, how he helped him feel better about himself.
“You asshole, don't leave me alone here…” He clenched his teeth, holding his body closer to his chest as if that would’ve saved him.
But it was too late,
…
Saps can’t even remember when he had arrived back at his house, the very first thing he did being to fall asleep for the next three days – Micro having to check up on him when he wasn't responding to his messages.
From there he had rebuilt his house, an empty sense of longing filling him when he walked through the spaces where he had once been.
People praised him for killing the person who caused the war, but hearing his name being dragged in the mud sickens him. Having to throw up occasionally after such meetings.
He doesn't think his life would ever go back to being peaceful, but seeing himself slowly rebuild the pieces that were destroyed. He would like to think he's getting better.
ish even had visited him once while he had been baking brownies, him generously offering a piece.
ish stared at him with a look he can't quite put a finger on. “Saps, I can't lie, you look…soulless? I can't seem to find that spark in you like before.” Saps tilted his head to the side in confusion, brows furrowing.
“I feel fine.”
ish seemingly not wanting to set off a bomb right now, sighed.
“If you say so Saps.”
…
After the fight his body had been seized by Westhelm, but he still decided to make a small gravestone at the bottom of his house, decorating it with some purple hyacinths that Saps knew he would love.
“It feels like we haven't talked in a long time. Was it the last time at the colosseum? A lot of things have happened since.” Saps chuckled, staring at the inanimate gravestone, his expression softening.
“I thought about what you said, I feel like I’m doing not that bad of a job living how I please? I don't know who could be the judge of that though, could you imagine, me judging my own performance…” Saps trailed off.
Staring towards the flowers, purple hue catching the sunlight. His heart felt quite at peace.
Looking at the ground he noticed small circles of dark spots appearing on the ground one by one.
Is it raining? I don’t feel any rain right now?
Trying to find where the water droplets were coming from, it slowly dawned on him.
It was his tears.
The dam broke. Sobs silently broke out, tears streaming down his face, his breath hitching every few seconds
“Why? Why did you do it? Everyone else moved on, trying to move on – I am too! But I can't, I can't bear the thought of enjoying every small thing without you.” He cried between hiccups.
He knows that tomorrow, he would probably have to go back to being the hero who had killed the villain or the person who had taken revenge on the man that had brought him suffering. But just for now — when there’s no one around, he just wants to be grieving the person that guided him through his hardest times.
“Goodbye…friend…”