Work Text:
Love You Like I Do.
(I don’t own any of the characters, this is just my favourite universe to play around in. Please don’t sue me).
This is a love letter to the late Sir Sam Neill, forever our Alan Grant.
We will remember you always Sam. Thank you x
~~~~~
Ellie Sattler came out of the bathroom feeling fresher than she had in days. A little over two hours previously she, Alan, Ian, Kayla, Maisie, Claire, Owen, Ramsey and Henry had found themselves being transported to a slightly more extravagant hotel than she was used to so that they could get a good amount of rest before coming together the next morning to formulate a plan of how they were going to take Biosyn down.
Courtesy of Ramsey’s employers the group had been checked over by a team of Doctors, given clothes, toiletries and unlimited access to the room service menu and had been provided with what were probably the most stunning suites that many of them had ever stayed in - all except for Ian who Ellie suspected was probably more than used to the luxuries that such a hotel provided. One suite however was sitting unused as its intended occupant had declined to be anywhere other than where she was and she wasn’t complaining. He was right where he was supposed to be. Where she wanted him to be. Where he should have been since they had survived the hell that was Jurassic Park all those years ago. With her.
She remembered his shyness as they’d been given their rooms key cards and he’d realised that he was on the floor above her alongside Henry. His cheeks had reddened as the receptionist gave him directions to a room tucked quite a way from hers and he had turned to Ellie with such a thoughtful look on his face that she could feel her heart thudding in her chest in response. He still gave her butterflies, the same as he had all those years ago when they were in Montana digging up dinosaur bones.
“Do we need two rooms?” He had asked her, rolling his eyes as Ian chuckled behind them and muttered ‘smooth’ just to playfully rile up his old friend.
Ellie felt her own cheeks reddening as Alan cleared his throat, obviously a little embarrassed. She knew that Alan was a shy man. A private man. For him to ask her that in front of Ian - and Ramsey who was also still waiting for a room to be allocated to him - was a huge deal for him and was testament to the strength of his feelings for her. She had taken the hand not holding the key card that he had been given in her own and entwined her fingers with his.
“I think one room will be fine. Thank you.” Ellie had told the employee at the desk as Alan smiled a warm, dimpled smile at her and handed his card back to the clerk. He’d used the pad of his thumb to trace patterns on the back of the hand that he was holding and goosebumps had risen on Ellie’s arms at the gentleness of the touch.
“Remember to be safe you two.” Ian had told them with a wink.
“Good night Ian!” Alan replied with a roll of his eyes and a smirk as he let Ellie lead him to their room.
Ellie had sighed happily as Alan had put his arm around her and pulled her close to him as they walked through the softly lit hallways of the hotel. Ever since she had set foot in his tent at the dig in Utah she had felt the same pull to him that had been there since the very first day that they had met. So many times during their time at Biosyn there had been near misses and missed opportunities for closeness where their fingers had grazed against each other and she had wanted nothing more than to hold his hand to see if hers still fitted perfectly in his, or when she had found herself enveloped in his arms as he tried valiantly to protect her from the myriad threats that they had faced and she’d had to try so hard not to just give in and kiss him as she used to do so freely all those years before. When he had kissed her tenderly on top of her head as they had waited for the elevator which would take them to their floor Ellie had felt like she was home, more so than she had ever felt with Mark though she could never regret what they had. He had given her her children after all. She only wished that it hadn’t taken her and Alan so long to find each other again when things had gone stale between her and Mark. She knew that time was finite and wished desperately that so much of theirs hadn’t been spent miles apart.
Now Alan was lying still fully clothed and covered in the days dirt and dust on the queen sized bed in their room, having been ever the gentleman and letting Ellie have the first shower. He was fast asleep, his mouth slightly open as he slumbered, oblivious to Ellie climbing on to the bed beside him wrapped in a fluffy hotel robe and lying down at his side so that they were facing each other. She propped her head up with one arm, reaching out with the other so that she could trace patterns on his bearded cheek with her fingertips. He was still so handsome. Still her Alan, and she couldn’t believe that he had finally chosen her.
As she tenderly traced her fingers over his handsome features, Alan stirred at her touch and opened his eyes. He smiled as his gaze found hers and her heart warmed at the sight.
“The showers free.” She told him as her fingertips found their way to his silver hair.
“I can see that.” He replied, reaching out and tucking a strand of damp hair behind her ear. “I was just resting my eyes while you freshened up.” He told her with a grin.
“Yeah, well I don’t blame you. It’s been a long couple of days.” Ellie told him, reluctantly tearing her hand away from him and shuffling her aching body back against the pillows. She winced.
“It certainly has.” Alan replied frowning with concern as he watched her. He got up from the bed and walked over to the mini fridge where he pulled out a bottle of water. He then rooted around in the basket of goodies that Ramsey’s team had sent to their room to help them settle for the night, grabbing a box of tylenol which he brought over to her.
“Thank you.” She took them from him gratefully.
“You okay?” He asked her for what felt like at least the millionth time since their arrival at Biosyn. His question was still full of as much concern as it had been when they had just started out on the path of their newest shared days of hell.
“I’m good. I promise. I would have told you and the Doctor if I wasn’t. Everything just aches.” She reassured him, cupping his cheek with her palm. She removed two of the pills from the blister pack, opened her water and swallowed them down.
“Tell me about it.” He murmured, trying to undo the buttons on his denim shirt and flexing his shoulder as the movement became too painful for him.
Ellie - hating to see him in pain - shuffled herself over to where he was sitting at the edge of the bed. She handed him the tylenol and bottle of water and was satisfied when he swallowed a couple of the pills down to help his own aching body. He set them down on the nightstand and continued to try and undo his shirt, becoming more and more flustered the longer that he struggled.
“You want some help?” Ellie asked him softly and Alan blushed.
He shook his head. “I’m sure I can do it. I’ll just go and do it in the bathroom.” He answered quietly, unable to meet her gaze.
He got up from the spot where he had been sitting and sadly started walking away from her.
“Alan Grant, you stop right there.” She called out more than a little sternly.
He stopped, sighed and turned to look at her as she got up gingerly from the bed and made her way over to him.
“What was that?” She asked, crossing her arms as he blushed harder under her intense scrutiny.
“What was what?” He replied with feigned innocence. She couldn’t help the small smile that crossed her lips at his stubbornness.
“You just getting up and walking away? Not even looking me in the eye. We don’t do that!” She told him, reaching out and undoing his shirt buttons carefully.
His shoulders slumped in resignation.
“I just…I’m old Ellie.” He told her sadly, looking at his socked feet as she helped to ease his shirt back off his shoulders and onto the floor. He was wearing a white tshirt underneath that made him look every inch the rugged palaeontologist that she still thought he was. “I look old. I feel old…I am old, and you’re you. You’re beautiful. You could find someone younger. More attractive. You could do so much better than an old man like me.”
Ellie tucked both hands under his shirt so that her palms were resting against the warm skin of a stomach only slightly rounder than it had been thirty years ago. She pushed his tshirt up over his stomach and chest gently and helped him to pull it back over his head; him wincing in pain as he did so. She rested her palms on his bruised but muscular chest and leaned in for a soft kiss.
“I’m not having you say that. It’s not true.” She tried to reassure him.
“I’m not old?” He teased.
“We’re both old honey.” She responded with a playful smile. “What’s not true is that I could do better or find someone more attractive. You Dr Grant have been the only man for me since the very first day that we met. Every inch of you, every wrinkle, age spot or laughter line…all of it, then and now are all that I’ve ever wanted.”
“Why Ellie?” He answered with a sad sigh. “I know I said I was coming with you and I am. I’m done being without you. I would go to the ends of the earth for you if you’d let me…”
Ellie’s heart broke a little at how broken he sounded.
“But I pushed you away.” He continued. “I pushed you into the arms of another man just after we started trying for a baby of our own. I should have stepped up after the park but instead I ran away and let you have all that I should have given you with him…”
A solitary tear ran down the bearded cheek of the usually stoic palaeontologist who was standing half naked and vulnerable in front of her and baring himself emotionally as he never had been brave enough to do before.
“Its been almost thirty years Ellie. For nearly thirty years I have been so lonely while pretending all that time that I was okay with what I had. Truth is, it’s never been enough. Not without you doing it all with me.” He admitted.
Ellie reached out to him and used her thumbs to brush away the myriad tears that were now rolling down his cheeks. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed each tear track tenderly, taking his hands in hers and leading him back over to the bed where she carefully pulled him down to sit.
“Life doesn’t have to be that way anymore.” She reassured him, remembering how shocked she’d been by his revelation in the mines that he hadn’t been happy in the life that he’d been living. If only they’d not been so stubborn. If only she’d stepped back into his life sooner - knowing as she did that he would be too proud to be the one to take the first step himself if being with her was what he still wished for.
“Maybe I deserve for it to be.” He said quietly as he looked at their entwined hands. They were still a perfect fit.
Ellie shook her head emphatically. “That’s bullshit and you know it! You came to Biosyn because I asked you for help. You faced those horrific locusts and even more horrific dinosaurs because I wanted a credible witness to be there alongside me while I investigated what Biosyn were doing to our planet. You spent today trying to protect me and trying to keep Maisie safe. How can you say that you deserve a life on your own when all you've done is show me how much you care?”
“Ellie you have no idea how much I care. Not really. I’ve never let you in enough for you to know that.”
“Then tell me. Please.” She pleaded and she could feel her hands trembling in his. She took them away from his grasp and put them in her lap where she clasped them together to try and steady them.
He took a deep breath and looked right into her tearful blue eyes.
“I love you Ellie.” He told her honestly, putting his hands over her shaking ones. “I’ve always loved you and I always will love you. I’ve spent the last thirty years pining for you like some lovesick teenager. That’s how much I care.” He admitted.
“Oh, Alan…” she whispered shuffling closer to him and resting her forehead against his. “Is that why you had a photo of us when we were together taped to your filing cabinet drawer?”
“You saw that huh.” He blushed.
Ellie grinned. “I was more than a little bit happy to see that you still thought of me. Of us.”
Alan reached a hand out to her face and traced circles on the smooth skin with his thumbs.
“It’s all I think about. Every day.” He responded honestly. “Back then I thought that by running away I was protecting you. From me. From everything that I was scared of…but I was just setting myself up for a miserable life where I wished you were beside me every single minute.”
“I think that’s quite possibly the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.” She told him. Tears were burning behind her eyes.
“Another mistake. You deserve to hear how wonderful you are every second of every day. How brilliant and beautiful and…”
“Tenacious?” Ellie added.
Alan chuckled. “That too.”
“I love you too you know. I’ve loved you forever.” She admitted, hoping that he heard the truth in her words. “When I asked you to come with me, I meant it. I didn’t just ask on some whim and I didn’t just mean come with me for a little while either. Seeing you today, doing the day with you. It felt…”
“Like we were back where we’re meant to be?” He offered.
Ellie nodded. That was exactly what it felt like. Waking up with her head resting on his shoulder on the plane to Italy - her hand holding on to him tightly - and feeling his arms wrap around her every time that he tried to keep her safe…it all felt right. Natural.
“I didn’t agree to come with you on a whim either. I meant it. God, I meant it. I was hoping that you did too.” He admitted. Alan cupped her cheeks in his palms and leaned in for the most tender kiss that he had ever given her. More feeling was conveyed in it than could ever have been conveyed in words. “You’re stuck with this old dinosaur man. If that’s what you want…” he probed.
Ellie smiled and ran her fingertips through the soft hair on his chest.
“Ask me again after a shower.” She teased.
“I’m a bit ripe huh?”
“Just a little.” She replied with a smile.
Reluctantly she moved her hands away from the man who meant so very much to her, her eyes following him as he slowly got up from beside her. He leaned down and kissed her on top of the head and made his way to the bathroom where she soon heard the shower running.
Tiredly Ellie moved back to the head of the bed and lay against the pillows, closing her eyes as she listened to the sounds of Alan moving around in the en-suite. Before she knew it she was being woken by gentle kisses on her eyelids.
“Good morning darlin’” a soft voice whispered beside her. She turned to see Alan lying there- enshrouded in a pool of daylight which now shone through the hotel room window - just looking at her. He was dressed in a simple white tshirt and pyjama bottoms, his hair mussed from sleep. Her heart thumped in her chest, against her ribs. He was really there. With her. Her dinosaur man.
“Why didn’t you wake me when you were done in the shower?” She asked him a little sadly, clearing her throat which was dry from sleep.
“You looked so peaceful. I didn’t have the heart to wake you.” He explained.
“We were in the middle of a conversation. You asked me a question…”
Alan shrugged. “I figured if we meant what we were saying yesterday that we had more than enough time to finish it.”
He lay back against the pillows and extended his arm. Ellie moved so that she was ensconced in his embrace and pushed herself flush up against his side.
“I do want it.” She told him, resting a hand on his chest where his heart beat strongly under the cotton of his tshirt. “To be stuck with you. Not that I’d ever feel stuck. I want the house, for you to spend time with the kids…”
“The wedding?” He asked her tentatively.
“Do you?” She asked him softly, gazing at him intensely. Her breath caught in her throat as his eyes twinkled.
His fingers found the amber ring that she wore. A ring that he got her himself before they’d parted ways years ago. It hadn’t been an engagement ring, but to her it had meant the world. It still did. It had been a physical token of his love when there had been nothing else after Jurassic Park that he’d felt able to give her.
“Somebody’s got to make an honest man out of me.” He told her.
Ellie grinned. “Might as well be me.”
“It could only be you.” He replied sincerely. He took a deep breath signifying that he was about to share something important. “I missed out on so much because I was a coward Ellie. You walking back into my life, deadly dinosaurs or no deadly dinosaurs, is the best thing that could have happened to me. I mean that.”
Ellie snuggled into him just a little bit closer. “So about that dig in Utah…” she probed, smiling as he kissed her nose.
“I might need your help packing up my things. Then, home?”
“Home.” She repeated.
Ellie knew that she wanted nothing more than to live in a loving home with the man who had stolen her heart whilst digging for dinosaur bones all of those years ago in Montana. A home that they should have built together already. A home that she wanted to one day live in as Dr Sattler-Grant. And living in that loving home with the man that she adored? that’s just what she did do, and Alan never let her forget what she meant to him, for the rest of their days.
The end.