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Erma returned to the group with her usual stern expression as Yuni dug into her fish sandwich. "The ferry won't leave until tomorrow. I fear we are stuck here for the day."
Their little quartet of shadow hunters had caught their next trail, taking them to the far south of Tournu, close to the sea. Here, the snow of the mountains thawed, and people regularly remembered what the sun looked like. The southern reaches also held, as Joachim had found at Yuni's suggestion, pretty good fish sandwiches. Micaela nibbled at one of her own, all except Erma seated at a table outside the joint selling various fish-based meals.
"Then that is how it must be," Micaela said.
Yuni, for her part, appeared to care rather little. As she finished her meal, Erma turned to specifically address her. "Lady Yuni," she said, earning a glare at the moniker, "if you were to talk to the sailors, then we might–"
"No, Erma. Our mission is not so urgent quite yet. We shall wait until tomorrow."
At that, none of them now knew how to spend the free time they had suddenly gained. After all, they hadn't exactly come to this seaside village for rest and relaxation. They were tense, expecting confrontation, deception.
"...What do we do, then?" Joachim voiced what all of them thought.
None of them had any use for a perfectly pleasant day.
"I have an idea." Yuni hopped off her seat, addressing all three of her friends. "Have any of you ever been to the beach?"
One trip to obtain suitable clothing later — Yuni could not talk the clerk out of giving her group a discount — Joachim was faced with a terrible dilemma.
It was precisely this "suitable clothing" wrecking his nerves. He held the plain blue shorts with apprehension normally reserved for a rotting carcass. Within the confines of the changing booth, it was just him and the shorts under the dim sun rays peeking through the slats of the door. Joachim compared the length of the shorts to the trousers he usually wore, and found they barely reached down to his knees.
The only time he'd last shown this much skin was after Micaela had forced a bath on him and Estel following a race that ended with him falling flat on his face into the mud. When Estel had laughed at the maneuver, he had asked for her help standing up, then dragged her down with him.
He didn't want to think about her right now. But why shouldn't he? After all, what were they doing here? What was any of this?
Sure, they had no choice. There existed no magic spell to get the sailors ready for voyage faster, nor a faster transport short of sending Erma ahead by her lonesome. However, could this time not be spent on something productive? Training, perhaps? After all, Joachim was weak. That's why Estel had gone to begin with.
But while arguing with Erma about the merits of going to the beach, Yuni had brought up that stress made one vulnerable. If one did not relax, one was more susceptible to pressure, to bad decisions.
To the shadow.
Spending time at the beach was precaution for their upcoming battles.
How stupid, though. Joachim balled the fabric in his fist, and just–
"Joachim? Are you okay in there?" Teacher knocked on the door to the little cabin, familiar concern coloring her tone.
"I'm fine, Teacher," he called back, putting the shorts onto the wooden board functioning as a bench, then sat down himself with a sigh.
However, his teacher was not satisfied with that standard response. "I can hear you overthinking in there. Just for today, alright? Is there any way I can help?"
He finally undid the laces of his boots with acid in his throat. The sight of his own body made him sick. "Can I keep my undershirt on?"
"Of course! Dress however you like."
That took some of the pressure of his chest, but only some. Shrugging off his outer jacket, he couldn't help look at his hands, his pointed nails.
As if sensing exactly that, Micaela softly continued as her shadow shifted beneath the door. "Joachim, if anyone bothers you, or if you feel unsafe in any way, we'll step in. All three of us. And we'll leave early, if you'd prefer."
He did not respond.
"...I ask that you try."
"I will, Teacher."
"And if it helps, I doubt the people of this town can tell the difference between a wolf and a dog."
That coaxed a small smile onto his face. It fit, as he'd not seen any canines passing through so far. Many birds with white and black feathers, many cats, but none with the personal experience to judge the shape of his ears. "Thank you," he whispered to the door. "I'll be out soon."
With an affirmative noise, the shadow by the door left him alone again. His tail came into view as he removed his pants, curled as it had been around his waist. Distantly, he remembered another boat ride, when he'd been quite young. Back then, he'd still travelled with his mother, going from nation to nation, wherever anyone would take them, for however long it had been. It might have been the boat ride to Tournu itself that familiarized him with these whipping winds and the smell of salt.
She'd cut the fur off their tails, to better pretend they were something more harmless.
When Joachim did finally step out of the cabin, dressed in his red undershirt and swimming shorts, painfully aware of the air against his naked arms, his tail might have wagged when Micaela clapped with joy.
Micaela had never seen the ocean before. For as long as she'd ever known, her home had been the mountains. From her distant first home, to the orphanage that raised her, to the hole burned into her heart. Leaving had been the obvious choice, with nothing else left to do. Heart-wrenching, strange, but...
Compared to the mountains piercing the clouds, the flat plains of the ocean were endless. She could see into the distance, into forever. If she stared intently enough, she wondered, could she see different lands? She wasn't used to salt and fish, to a sun this bright, to plants of these types or the chirping of these birds. To the way the light danced across the waves and the warm sand curled around her toes.
Yes, it was beautiful.
She watched in joy as Yuni tugged Joachim into the waves, content to settle down in the shade and merely watch. That was, until one of her new companions approached her side.
"Greetings, Knight Erma." Micaela nodded to the other women. She rested her head on her knees, tucked to her chest.
"Would you like to go in?" Erma asked. "If you do, I ask you be careful. As I have told Lady Yuni beforehand... It is best you do not stray far from the beach. And if you notice the waves receding–"
Micaela gave a short laugh, interrupting what was surely about to be a passionate lecture on proper beachside safety. "I'm fine where I am, thank you. However, I could ask you the same. Do you not wish to swim?"
Erma tugged at the frills of her swimsuit, undoubtedly chosen by someone other than herself. Unless, of course, Erma had a penchant for cute clothes beyond the armor that Micaela wasn't aware of. "I would rather keep watch. To ensure you all are safe."
"Thank you kindly."
"It is merely my duty."
A short while before that, with two certain individuals staring into the waves...
"Have you ever been swimming?" Yuni asked Joachim with a titled head.
"Rarely. There's only rivers up north. Either you bathe in the shallows, or the rapids tear you away." He pulled his pant legs as far down as they could go, a gesture that did not go unnoticed. Yuni's eyes flicked to his hand on his thigh.
"Me as well. My travels don't often see times of respite like this."
Though her gaze just as quickly flicked away from the scars tracing in circles all the way to his knees, much to his relief. And that little sigh of relief is why he missed her devious plan. With one step closer to his side, she snatched away his dangling hand, kicked off the ground, and dragged him deeper into the sea with her.
"H-hey!" Joachim flopped forward, and his chest hit the water. Some buried instinct had him spread his arms and start paddling, some other misaligned sense sending him chasing deeper into the waves after Yuni, already swimming away with far more finesse than he. "What was that for?!"
"When we have this time, we ought to use it, is all." She serenely swam in circles around him, with Joachim's flabbergasted swipes unable to reach her in time. "Can you not float?" A safe distance away, Yuni spread her limbs like a star and laid flat on her back. The waves carried her up and down like a buoy.
Faux anger turned to fascination, because Joachim, doggy-paddling in place, truly did not know how that worked.
"You need to spread out your weight and relax," Yuni said, and demonstrated by closing her eyes.
Joachim turned onto his back. His head dipped under the water for his troubles. Hacking up half a lung, he yelled "How? This is impossible!"
She cracked one eye open to witness his struggle. "What, relaxing?"
"Exactly!"
Yuni gestured for Joachim to follow back to the beach, still in the ocean, but shallow enough for both of them to stand. "There's simply no need to stress, that's all. Shall I show you how?"
"That's what I don't get. This whole beach thing was your idea. How can you do it?"
"Come now, on your back. I'll hold you."
Joachim sighed. "Alright." His legs floated easily enough. With Yuni's hand on the small of his back, Joachim was held atop the waves. Spreading out his arms, he felt that this was all quite silly. He couldn't help being tense.
"You won't go under. And if you do, I'm right next to you. Come now. Deep breath in..."
He followed along with the pattern she set. All told, the water was quite nice... Some of the stones weighing him down gradually lost weight.
Only when Yuni took a step back did he notice she'd taken her hand off. "See? Isn't it nice?"
It was an unusual angle to witness her through. She stood taller as he floated, her face cast in shadow from the sun behind her back. Like this, Joachim could believe she wasn't a child, but hundreds of years old. Especially when Yuni said, "She haunts you still, doesn't she?"
"...Of course she does."
Even with that faint smile still adorning her, Yuni's eyes were old. "You'll have to get used to it."
"That's easy for you to say."
"Not as much as you think." That small smile turned into a by now familiar pout, though he'd seen it directed at Erma more often than not. "I do believe I never told you about my sister."
"What happened to her?"
"She fell to shadow because of me. To save me, is what I choose to believe."
The statement lingered across the waves.
"And then?"
"And then, she's still out there somewhere, executing Fenris' orders. So I'll find her, and bring her back to the light."
"As retainer to Naga, aren't you entitled to a wish? Or have you already used it?"
"You misunderstand, Joachim. Precisely as retainer, I am already in Naga's service. Why would she have to grant my wishes? You may become a disciple still. I am going to kill her."
He couldn't keep floating like this. Before he could swallow anymore salt, he was back on his own two feet. "What? But she's your–"
"Just as you killed Estel. Your story isn't the first of its kind, and it will by far not be the last. So both of us need ways to keep ourselves sane." Yuni remained calm. Even when she thought her life at risk, her voice never wavered. It shouldn't surprise him like it did. "Temptation is at its most effective under duress. Under guilt. Your determination can only keep you safe for so long. Perhaps one day, you will crumble from this work, and the wolves will return to promise you a shortcut."
"Over my dead body."
Yuni smiled. "That's easy to say, isn't it? My sister was much the same. We were both retainers, after all."
"Even a retainer to Naga could..."
"So I find my ways. It's not enough to simply harden your heart. An absence of guilt and pain won't be enough to bring you happiness, and only content will fill your soul."
Then, a glint entered her eyes again. He didn't have time to prepare. "What are you—"
She pedalled forward with blinding speed, slapped him on the chest, then turned around to hightail it away again. "Tag, you're it! Consider it training, if you want!"
"Yuni, you–"
Whatever was to come out of his mouth didn't. Training, sure. It could be that, or he could admit that feeling silly might be a good thing.
Some time passed with Micaela eventually just basking in the sun. It had been long since she'd simply laid down and thought of nothing. But even that became a chore soon enough, as Micaela recalled why she'd not had time to rest. She'd had children to tend to, after all, and didn't need a break when spending time with them had been her wish–
Micaela rose from her nap-like state, and decided to do something else. She left behind the towel, and sat down in the sand.
She was going to build a sandcastle. It's something she'd heard of that people did at the beach, from a traveler or another passing through their humble town. However, several problems were in Micaela's path.
For one, she had never done such a thing before. In her youth, she'd dug mud pits, filled them with leaves, and pretended they were a witch's brew instead. For another, Micaela did not know the required techniques for sand castle building. And for one more, Micaela had never seen a real castle before.
That last one could be amended to instead build a sand house. Therefore, Micaela took some sand into her hands, refusing to think about it clinging to the underside of her nails, and shoved it into a pile. The pile collapsed.
For her part, Erma had remained steadfast in observing the ones in the waves. That was, until she kept stealing glances at Micaela's rather unspectacular creation. Especially when Micaela had piled the sand so high that gravity took its toll upon the mound.
She sighed. What a failure. Micaela wasn't a kid anymore. What was she even doing?
Then, Erma kneeled opposite her beside the pitiful sand mound. "Miss Micaela, you need to mix the sand with water."
"Huh?"
"If you mix it with water, then-"
"Oh, yes! Like mud! Thank you very much."
Erma stretched out one of her wings to provide Micaela shade as she worked, doing her best to recreate the orphanage as it stood within her memories. Reversed now, Erma stole glances at the ones in the waves, but devoted most of her attention to Micaela, and even occasionally aided her in digging and shaping the sand.
As absorbed as she was in the work, something like a quarter hour had passed until Micaela noticed this change in circumstances. "What of your duty?" she asked.
Erma hummed. "They appear to be doing alright."
Micaela turned her head to see Yuni and Joachim chasing each other around the water. "It's heartening to see them enjoy themselves, isn't it?"
"That it is."
Using her dirtied nails, Micaela drew shapes into the sand house. The crooked door Joachim had done his best to fix, the crack in the wall where Estel had missed her first arrows... "It was my duty as well."
"Pardon?"
"It was my duty as well," Micaela repeated, sketching lines for the roof's thatching with her nail. "I was their caretaker. For Joachim, Estel, and all the others. It was my duty to ensure they grew up healthy and happy."
"You gave it your all, I'm certain." Erma's tone was flat. When Micaela peeked up from her creation, she noticed that Erma turned once more to the waves.
"But I can't help them anymore." Carefully, she dug around her sand house to trace the river where so many of the bodies had washed ashore. "I failed, Knight Erma. I was powerless. Even when Estel strayed from Naga's light."
Erma returned her attention to Micaela, this time speaking with more force. "The wolf's temptations are vicious."
A stone here, the flowers there... It was satisfying, to bring her memories to life like this. "She was a kind, bright girl." Micaela gathered a nearby rock, placing it upright on the path home. "Even when she was little, she badgered the hunter into teaching her as soon as she'd grown strong enough to string a bow, all to help the children. When Joachim first came to us..." Micaela placed another stone onto the path. "She was the first to reach out to him. The first to get through to him, even before I ever could."
Somehow, reminiscing stung a little less. Even when Erma's mouth was pressed into a line, and Micaela knew precisely how the knight before her viewed those seduced by shadow. No matter what happened, Micaela could never see her bright girl as a beast. Even if it made her a blasphemer in Naga's eyes.
Erma chose not to respond.
So Micaela responded to the silence instead. "Please forgive her."
"I..."
"Besides," Micaela continued at the conflicted mien, "if Joachim succeeds, Estel shall return to the light. You'll get to meet her then, and see what a wonderful girl she truly is."
"I shall look forward to that day." Erma's face was flat as ever, but Micaela had not missed the undertone tinging that statement. Erma wouldn't trust a shadow, not yet. And Micaela would never either. That just meant they'd have to bring Estel back to the light. Then all would be forgiven.
Micaela couldn't help but smile.
At some point, Joachim and Yuni's merry chase had ended, the two simply swimming in a more regular manner. This stopped when someone else entered. Joachim turned his limbs to paddle and his eyes to look. As his toes curled around loam, Micaela waved from the shallows, joined by Erma. Much to his surprise, his teacher then jumped into the water, swimming over.
Micaela hadn't had that much exercise in ages, and the sheer movement brought her joy. As she splashed water at Joachim, and he splashed back, and their companions joined in until all of them were awash with chaos...
Neither of them thought of the orphanage, for a moment. Calls of "Hey!" or "I'll get you back for that!" drowned out the screams forever seared into their minds. The water's chill cooled the fire in their hearts, and the salty breeze blew away the scent of ash and charred flesh.
Tomorrow, their journey would continue. Tomorrow, there might be more heartbreak and battle, more death and destruction.
Just for today, though, there was joy.