Work Text:
“So let me get this straight,” Ori said, holding up her hands, “You’re trying to rustle up eighty BILLION leaves to get the steam engine, but you’re having trouble getting one hundred thousand… to buy a half-finished boat?”
“Ya got that right!” Partitio said, giving her a thumbs-up. Ori grinned. “Sounds like fun! You all wanted jobs here, right? I’ll show you around!”
Indeed, all eight of the travelers intended to get jobs at the New Delsta Times to get the money for Partitio’s boat.
“Here’s where we print the papers!” Ori exclaimed, pointing to a large section of the room full of machinery and people. “Whichever of you has the most deft fingers probably wants this job. You gotta put new sheets of paper in the machine, then take them out once they’re printed on and do it again!”
“I can do that!” Agnea said, her accent slipping through in her excitement. Ori shook her finger.
“Nuh-uh-uh, you'll wanna use that natural charm of yours to sell ‘em!”
“Natural charm? Aw, you're makin’ me blush!” Agnea said.
“That's what I'm talkin’ about!” Ori said excitedly.
“You do have more than enough charisma for the job,” Hikari said thoughtfully.
“Yeah, Long Hair and Fluffy Hair are probably the best for this one.” Ori said, pointing at Hikari and Osvald.
“‘Fluffy Hair’?” Osvald said, baffled, while Hikari looked offended.
“Okay, let's go to the next room!” Ori said, waving exaggeratedly.
“This is where my fellow scriveners work!” Ori shouted over the click-clacking of typewriters. “Do any of you know how to get a good scoop?” “I could–” Hikari said, but Ori shushed him. “Castti and I are… adept at finding information.” Temenos said, handling his staff. “I think that’s bad to do, Uncle Temmy…” Ochette said.
“Works for me!” Ori said.id. “Now, it’s obvious that Partitio and Agnea are the best for selling the things, but what about you two?” Ori asked, looking at Throne and Ochette. “I can sell paper, too!” Ochette said, chewing on a newspaper.
“Eh… I don't think that's quite the right fit for you,” Ori said, cringing. Then her face lit up. “I know! Why don't you two write an advice column? People love that stuff!”
Ochette's tail started wagging. “Ooh! I love that idea! What should I write about?”
“I could help. I took writing lessons as a child and–” Ori shushed Hikari again.
“Maybe some kind of recipe? Or your hunting lifestyle? I can't imagine what I would write about, though.” Throne said, resting her chin on her hand. “I love that! You should write about knocking people out! Bam! Pow!” Ochette exclaimed, jumping up and down. “Eh… not that.” Throne said.
“Hmm… what if you did a sort of inspirational piece?” Ori asked thoughtfully. “Partitio mentioned that you're trying to break out of the mob, right?” “Well, a thieves gang, but yes…” Throne said. “Readers'll fall all over that!” Ori said, getting excited.
“All right! Let's get started!” Ochette shouted.
Thanks to Ori's influence at the New Delsta Times, all eight travelers got jobs without any questions asked.
Osvald's many years writing and Hikari's daily sword practice gave them both the dexterity to move, bind, and stack papers efficiently, much to Hikari’s displeasure.
Ori supervised Castti and Temenos’s first few days on the job, and Temenos had a few… issues at the start. “Temenos! If you get one more complaint, we'll have to fire you!”
“Is it really anything different from what Castti does, though?” Temenos inquired playfully.
“Mine's just a little bit more forceful!”
“I inquire. You interrogate. Take it from me, Temenos, people are more comfortable with conversations than threats.” Castti said. Temenos sighed dramatically.
“If I'm not allowed to use my own preferred medium, what's the point of making art? I suppose I'd make better use of myself spellchecking Ochette's article.”
Meanwhile, on the sales front, the Delsta Times were selling more papers than ever before. “Sales are at an all-time high! How do you two do it?” The editor-in-chief asked Partitio and Agnea while they were at a company dinner. He'd invited them personally, to celebrate their achievements.
“Aw, you’re too kind! We just try to love what we do, and I guess it shows!” Agnea said. “Just that, Mister! If ya love yer job, yer job’ll love ya too!” Partitio added. The editor-in-chief wiped a tear from his eye. “You know what? You’re right! I’m giving you and all of your friends a raise!” Agnea and Partitio beamed.
Ochette wrote down recipe after hunting anecdote after recipient after hunting anecdote (graciously spellchecked by Temenos), and the readers were eating it up. Occasionally, people in town would even ask her to sign their papers, and kids wanted to hear all about her exciting life as a huntress.
Throne’s quieter, down-to-earth pieces had gained a large following as well. She’d become somewhat of a local hero, with her heartbreaking (and maybe a little over exaggerated) stories about growing up a criminal.
One day, when they had raised nearly enough money, Agnea and Partitio had an idea to end all ideas. “Let’s do a skit! About selling papers, out on the sidewalks!” Agnea said. “That’s a great idea!” Partitio said, excited.
A little while later, the sun was sinking low, and the sidewalks were full of people scurrying to their homes.
“Say, Agnea?” Partitio said loudly, signaling the beginning of the skit. “What is it, Partitio?”
“Have ya ever read headlines like these?”
“Why, I don’t think I have. What sort of stories have you got for me?”
“Oh, I got just about everything!” People were pausing to watch. “We got adventure stories, real hot takes, and the biggest news from here to the other continent!”
“That sound’s amazin’! I wish I could read it… it’s a little embarrassing, but I’ve been livin’ on tight funds lately.”
“Well that ain't a problem! The New Delsta Times has prices so cheap, you'll almost want to pay more!”
“Wow! Something as amazing as that has to have a catch, right?”
“Not a chance! You can cancel any time, upgrade for special bonuses, and get this quality newspaper every day!”
A young woman stepped up to Partitio. “How much is it, sir?” She asked. Partitio winked and flipped a coin.
“Why, it's just the low, low price of 200 leaves a month! Who wants in?”
A large majority of the crowd started clamoring, either for subscriptions or individual papers. By the end of the day, the pair had sold almost 50 subscriptions.
“You two were a blessing to the office?” Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay?” The editor-in-chief asked the next day. “We’re honored, Sir, but we have other jobs to do.” Agnea said, bowing. “I wish you well!” the editor said as they left the office.
And the group walked off into the sunset to buy the boat of their dreams.
