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After hanging out for the day and coming home, Ze goes upstairs and tells Regect that he’s tired, and needs a nap. He understands, and leaves him to it.
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite!” Regect called at the door jokingly as Ze was walking up the stairs, making him turn his head.
Ze allowed a shy smile, and responded, “Ha… I won’t. Thanks for finally using it correctly.” Regect snickered, and walked over out of sight from Ze to where Mo was. Ze turned his head back around, faltering his expression immediately.
Ze drags himself up the stairs, finally making it to the hallway. He walks over to his room drowsily, and shuts the door. Finally, he plops on the edge of the bed. “Fuuuuckkkk…” He groans angrily, putting his hands over his eyes and curling his fingers around his eyebrows. Then, he drops his lower torso to the bed, his hands unmoving and his legs still hanging off the side. He flips his legs over to the other side of the bed, scooting upright and bringing them close to his body.
“God… Regect doesn’t even… neither of them care. Why am I even here…” Ze exclaims into the palms of his hands. He looks over to his bedside drawer, and time stops. For once since that… confusing night, he felt hope. It radiated as he pulled his drawer open and rummaged inside. His sludgy, greasy brain finally had the opportunity to take control now that Regect and Moe were gone.
“I mean… I’m so fucking rude… and bitter… Why would anyone care anyways? Ha…” He lets out a suppressed chuckle to himself as he sits up to find what he’s looking for. Then, he stops himself, shuts the drawer, and falls back down onto the bed. ‘Ugh… I hate him… He’s so stupid, his stupid… nonexistent smile that i can somehow see, he’s so caring, and for what? Goddammit… He shouldn’t even— He shouldn’t even care. I’m not worth caring for. I’m ugly and rude, and he is- i mean, he pulls pranks sometimes, but it’s all a joke… he cares…’ A tear began to run down his temple. ‘Fuck… WHY does he care? why ME? Maybe i’m lying to myself, and he doesn’t. Maybe Moe doesn’t care, either. It’s all an act to get me to trust them, but it’s not working, losers. I-it’s not.’ He managed to stutter in his brain from the fogginess. He quietly sobbed, turned towards the wall so if anyone came in, he would have a chance to readjust himself.
Then, he fumbled the drawer door again, rummaging until he felt a slider. He then proceeded to pull out a blade.
“This is for the better,” He told himself as he prepared. “For the better.” He gulped and slided the knife all the way up until he couldn’t anymore. He was still sobbing. “Fuck…”
Back downstairs, Mo was angrily talking with Regect about something that happened at the house.
“Ah- Mo, it was just a little prank, chill out!”
HONK, HONK!
“Yeah, I know, I know. But it was pretty funny.”
HONK!!!
He let out a mumbling ‘sorry,’ finally giving in.
Then, he looked out the window, to where there was a giant PNG of a man just watching them.
“…Who is that?” Regect let out, followed with a small chuckle. “This seems like an occurrence to wake Ze for.” He smirked, and Mo honked at him in return. Regect then got up off the chair, quickly climbing the stairs. When he finally got up, he walked toward’s Ze’s room. Regect didn’t knock, instead letting himself inside, because at that point, there was nothing he could possibly be doing that he hadn’t seen before with him. Or, so he thought, atleast.
“Ze, come downstairs, sum’n funny just…happened…”
Shit.
Ze threw the blade on the opposite side of the bed from the door, hoping and praying to god that Regect didn’t see it. Spoiler alert; he did. He wiped his face quickly with his wings next.
“Fuck…” Ze accidentally muttered out loud, confirming Regect’s suspicions.
Regect was at a loss for words, his mouth agape. What made him possibly think it was okay to do that?
“Ze, what the FUCK are you doing?”
“Nothing, I-I’m fine. I’ll be down in a minute.” He accidentally let out a sniffle, as if his cover wasn’t blown already.
“Ze, don’t lie to me. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you doing that??”
Ze teared up again, he didn’t like seeing Regect yell at him. He tried not to let it get to him, but it did anyway. He curled his wings up towards his face and tight around his body.
“…Ze.” He didn’t intend to make him cry.
“…what?”
“Show me…”
“Show you… what?”
“Don’t play fucking dumb.” Regect walked to the other side of the bed, climbing over and holding Ze’s shoulders.
“H-hey, hey, Regect, let me go—“ Regect interrupted him when he pulled his sleeves up. He fought back with his hands and wings, trying to push him off, but it was futile. He was just too weak at the time. He let his wings falter to the bed.
“You… shouldn’t care about me like this.” Ze recontrolled his senses, and looked away from him in shame. He held his arms away from him. “Why do you act like you care?”
Regect’s stomach churned. He was sick.“Fuck… I don’t know, maybe because i DO care about you! You can’t do this! What are you achieving? I-i mean-“
“But… why?”
The sudden question shocked Regect. What does he mean why??? Isn’t it obvious?
“Do i have to spell everything out for you? I think in all of this world, of all the people, you are the one who deserves care the most. I don’t understand why you think you don’t…”
“I’m so rude, Regect. Nothing about me or my brain is normal. I push everyone I love away from me. I’m so bitter, I have no friends, no one will or does love me, and—“
“But i love you.”
“…What?”
“I love you, Ze. More than anything. And if i were to let you do this, what kind of a person am I? What type of friend would I be?”
Friend.
Regect shivered as the word ‘friend’ escaped from his mouth.
Ze finally looked at Regect, teary-eyed.
“Do you really…?”
“Yes. Of course I do. Don’t- don’t abuse that. It’s not-“
He immediately shut up when Ze pulled him in for a hug.
They both sat there for a second, holding eachother, forgetting about the outside world.
“You make this so, so difficult…” Ze sniffled.
“Ze… why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because i didn’t want you to— to get in my way. You’re not supposed to like me, let alone love me. i don’t understand why you do—“ His voice started cracking up, rising in pitch.
Regect shushed him, and pulled him into a tighter hug and rubbing his back to console him.
“I’m— I’m here. Even if the world hated your guts, I’d still be here. Nothing will change. Even if you… fuck… even if you hate yourself… I’ll be here for you. You shouldn’t, though. You are worth so much more than what you think.”
“I’ve- I’ve never had anyone say that to me before. I can’t believe you’re making me say thank you…” Ze said, sobbing into Regect’s shoulder.
Regect’s little empathy towards people slowly got louder and louder for him. “You still like… me, though, right? Like, you won’t get tired of me?”
“What a stupid question… A stupid, dumb fucking question that you already know the answer to.”
“Let’s… get you cleaned up. Stay here.” Regect released the hug, as much as to Ze’s protest, and went to the bathroom to grab some cut alcohol and some bandages.
Regect feels like this sucks, because he doesn’t know how to prove he cares. But, that’s not the point. He needs Ze to care about himself. He rubbed his (eyes?) in the mirror and reached into the cabinets.
He comes back with the bandages, Ze sitting there begrudgingly.
Regect carefully puts himself on the bed. “Stay still, it might sting a bit,” He warned before putting the pad of alcohol onto his cuts.
“Fuck you… Ow…”
“It’s okay… it’s okay…”
Ze was trying his very best to not show weakness, although he already did. He was taking short breaths in and out, sniffling along the way.
Regect was rubbing Ze’s cuts quietly, sulking. His care for him was unimaginable, and he just goes and does this like it’s nothing. Like he doesn’t have people relying on him already. They sat in silence, Regect’s tender fingers touching his cuts, and putting bandages on each one. His sadness grew further as he saw healing scars already on his arm.
“Do you feel better?”
“I do now, yeah…” Ze snuffled out.
Regect grabbed his shoulders and laid him back carefully, Ze giving him the right of way. Regect wrapped his arms around him, and Ze turned to the side to do the same in return. One of Regect’s hands left towards his head, stroking his hair softly.
“Please, promise you’ll never do this again,” Regect asked of him softly.
Ze looked away from his face.
“Ze.”
Regect picked up Ze’s chin, forcing him to look him in the eyes.
“Ze? Promise me.”
Ze let out a sigh. There was no avoiding it now. “Fine… I promise.” How could he say no to him? He never wanted to break promises, but it felt inevitable.
Regect let go of Ze’s chin, hugging his back and running his fingers throughout his hair. Ze managed to fall asleep within a matter of minutes. He finally felt a bit safe in Regect’s arms.
Regect loved this guy so much. He never lied, not a word he said was wrong. But, maybe he’d forget by the time they woke up. He leaned down and kissed him softly on the top of his head, rubbing it in. Regect slowly fell asleep, too. Ze’s head was resting on his chest. He hadn’t gotten better sleep in years.