Work Text:
It's a quiet, drama-less day in the K-media village, a state that has unfortunately persisted for quite a while. Aside from the occasional content of The Dawn being totally off their rockers uploaded to YouTube every now and then, no other topics have truly piqued the interest of the gossip monster hidden each and every K-netizen.
Such a thing is impossible, considering idols can and will be burned alive at the stake for breathing 0.5 beat off to their seniors' song.
The mid-tier boygroup Today's drugs and public misconduct scandal have served a little too well as a lesson for the entertainment industry. Since then, all companies must've worked like dogs to ensure their talents receive nothing less than ironclad media training. Good for them.
But that development, to the gossip-hungry of the ever busybody Internet campers, is like thunder striking down their heads.
What do you mean there hasn't been a single controversy worth whispering about during lunchtime? What do you mean Min Jiheon has gone M.I.A to 'hone his skills'? What do you mean the handful of idols deserving of attention have collectively gone on a break?
Downright hell!
And thus, sensing the boredom plaguing the Internet, a post goes up on a popular forum on SNS:
[Title: The current K-pop situation
Is it just me or the K-pop scene is too quiet recently?
Like, no notable comebacks within two months or anything controversial even
└Yeah, it's like the all groups were rushing to have a comeback at the same time before. So now everybody has gone quiet together ㅋ
└Or because Seo Hoyun hasn't stirred up any drama.
└└I really can't tell if you're a Noeul or an anti
└└Seo Hoyun fan here, I hate how you're so accurate…
└Bloys can't relate since Joo Woosung has showed up on Blive and PopPop a lot more often
└└To talk about a man yeah
└└└That isn't all he talks about
└└└└What kinda idol talks about another idol for half of their livestream anyway
└└└└└I surrender
└└└└└└That was quick
└└└└└└└As quick as J.W.S folding for S.H.Y yeah
└Seo Hoyun is responsible for this. Can that bastard do something funny again]
And 'do something funny', Seo Hoyun complies. Not that it was in his plan, not at all.
The chaos, as always, begins with an SNS post.
[Title: Seo Hoyun, you bastard homewrecker!
To preface, I am a Noeul
And yes I am showing my resentment by calling him a bastard
Please listen my story first
So my friend group went out on a little reunion yesterday. All of us are hardcore K-pop or K-drama fans.
So, what can the main topic of our talk even be?
Of course K-pop and K-drama!
We did a fun little relationship chart with our biases, just to see if they have anything in common you know
Then we all discovered a heartbreaking truth!
Someone holds abnormally high favorability among them!!
Seo Hoyun from The Dawn has stolen all our of men!!!
Fyi, I'm a Sung Jiwon stan, the other three stan Joo Woosung, Kang Yeonhu and Min Jiheon;;
└You can just start with calling Seo Hoyun a homewrecker and reveal whom you four like
Everybody will understand right away
└└Accuracy = 110%
└└For real, I was just about to say that ㅋ
└I'm a Kang Ichae stan, do I have the right to join?
└└Well all of The Dawn pretty much hang off each other anyway
└└└Kang Ichae and Sung Jiwon are on a very… different level
└└All The Dawn discord rumours came from Kang Ichae and Seo Hoyun anyway, what are you talking about?
└└└Oh… new guy spotted
└└└└??? What does that mean
└└└└└There's a 10-minute video of 'Kang Ichae devouring Seo Hoyun whole with his eyes alone' trending on YouTube man
└└└└└└The 12-minute video trending right under that is of 'Sung Jiwon being a K-drama male lead to Seo Hoyun' by the way
└└└└└└└My man doesn't even look at me like that and we've been married for six years;;
└Doesn't Kang Yeonhu look super uncomfortable with Seo Hoyun teasing him?
└└Hi-Five maknae just told everyone on a variety show that Kang Yeonhu eats with Seo Hoyun in the company cafeteria every other week
└└└Heol… My oppa is going on dates with another oppa behind my back
└None of these men are even waiting for the legalisation of same-sex marriage in Korea anymore
└└Kang Ichae is an American citizen ^^
└My oppa is not marrying me
Because he's too busy ogling Seo Hoyunㅠㅠ
└└└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]
And like a domino effect, posts come up one after another, spreading far and wide across various social media platforms.
[nyangnyangie's mom @getoverceo
guys i think jws fell in love long ago and it's not with me
❤10,3k ↪4,2k
Comments:
chae jungwoo's slipper @ellie3427
i like how everybody and their mother in qrts are clocking his ass for being down bad for shy
just me n myself @nananaholic
over 10k ppl know you're inlove w your junior, got any defense now mr. joo
hanju's dimple @jamiejam
The way Bloys aren't even backing him up 😓
↪STREAM MYTH RN! @jwsplsgolive
i mean… we kind of… simp for hoyun too…sometimes… he pretty 🥺
↪↪woosung loops @jwsloops
that's just the jws in your pants talking
↪↪↪beomhyunie fighting! @mariainlove
??? ADMIN 😭😭😭
wooyun archive @jugyongarchive
been saying jws is lwk gay for hoyun for years and streets didn't believe me bruh 😔
↪woosung loops @jwsloops
well woosung def did
↪↪joey seeing black call! @skippingstones
NOT HIS OWN FANACC CLOCKING HIS ASS EVERYWHERE 😭😭😭✋✋✋]
Another post reads:
[kabu ss2 WHEN 🕯️ @mjhthegoat
sbd explain to me why tf 'we know what u r' is trending under k-pop
❤2,1k ↪734
Comments:
avg brk stan @kimchifriedrice
joo woosung from blackcall going viral for being unapologetically in love w a man
↪kabu ss2 WHEN 🕯️ @mjhthegoat
pls list 1 example, im nosy
↪↪avg brk stan @kimchifriedrice
too many but like months ago he said it was tks to this one klutz of an idol (bro has 1 friend, why tryna be mysterious lol) pestering him to clean that cobweb on his Blive app that he started this mini talkshow series (1/3)
↪↪avg brk stan @kimchifriedrice
this guy proceeded to spend the next 45mins enthusiastically answering questions abt said idol, encouraging more questions even. like he shouldve just paid a collab fee for how many times the other guy had been mentioned atp (2/3)
↪↪avg brk stan @kimchifriedrice
+ this huge fucking grin on his face when he described their date in california (caught by paparazzi btw) that lit bloys' tl on fire (3/3)
[jwslovestruckgrin.img]
↪↪kabu ss2 WHEN🕯️@mjhthegoat
damn tough. reminds me of when mjh spent his once-in-a-blue-moon interview gushing abt his male co-star, sneaking 'hoyun~' in his every answer like 😭
↪↪↪avg brk stan @kimchifriedrice
lol ye seo hoyun is also kinda like our inlaw now
↪↪↪↪kabu ss2 WHEN🕯️ @mjhthegoat
PAUSE-
↪↪↪↪kabu ss2 WHEN🕯️ @mjhthegoat
…sweetheart, i think our men r in love w the same man
↪↪↪↪↪avg brk stan @kimchifriedrice
…oh
dajun's cooking @diamondmaknae
im a noeul and i very much enjoy the convo above me
↪kabu ss2🕯️ @mjhthegoat
we did not go through 5 stages of grief in 5 mins for you to say this
↪↪dajun's cooking @diamondmaknae
i stan shy, ofc i like watching ppl suffer
↪↪↪ria purple never die @easytempo12
noeuls, pls never change]
…Then another.
[kabu ss2 WHEN 🕯️ @mjhthegoat
now that im over the grand revelation of my man being part of the harem, can i ask tl for more jws x shy mmnts that got you go 🤔🏳️🌈 pleek
❤1k ↪203
Comments:
wooyun archive @jugyongarchive
gotchu. bet you will enjoy this one
2:31______________________▶
<The short clip focuses on Joo Woosung sitting in a hotel room, yellow lights dimmed and face bare. Once he starts reading the comments aloud, the edited subtitles begin playing accordingly.
🐱: "Does oppa have friends other than your own members and Seo Hoyun-ssi?"
🐱: Ahh I don't think Bloys were aware of this but I'm close with Cheongbeom-noona too!
🐱: Actually, we have a groupchat of us then another person, can't tell you who though. Ah right, Min Jiheon sunbaenim is a new addition to our club *laughs*
🐱: What do we usually talk about? Yeah I guess it's kinda hard to imagine what we even have in common.
🐱: Let's see, we generally talk about work since we're all in the entertainment field. And-
Joo Woosung's face stiffens for an instance, gaze flicking east, west, north, south. The silence drags on for an awkward second, like the blond is looking for an answer on whether or not the next piece of information is appropriate to disclose to the public.
🐱: Yeah I think it's fine to say this. We all chat about how Seo Hoyun is very KIND, and GENTLE, and how much he has HELPED us hahaha….
The emphasis sounds… off. But to most, it comes across as his unique way of highlight Seo Hoyun's admirable qualities.
🐱: Anyway, I never told you this but we became close through Hoyun. That hoobae-nim never stops being interesting enough for us to stop laughing at him.
The idol's eyes crinkle, the full force of the small motion brightens the screen. Yet he appears completely oblivious to the wide grin on his face and the sparkle in his eyes.
🐱: "How would Woosung-oppa describe Hoyun-oppa?"
🐱: Hoyun is… How do I say this… Prickly? But also in a way that compels you to stick to him.
🐱: I think he's a confusing one. He cares more than he lets on. He turns people away, that somehow makes them have no choice but to never take their eyes off him.
🐱: Just like a kitty, really.
He spontaneously bursts out laughing.
🐱: Ehhh, maybe that's why Nyangnyangie is more attached to him than me, haizzzz
🐱: That guy's mouth is still poisonous like crazy though. And the fun of annoying a person like him increases like tenfold.
🐱: Teasing him might just be my favourite pastime these days. Min Jiheon sunbaenim thinks so too.
Suddenly, his pupils are blown wide. The best way to sketch out his appearance is the portrait of a cat gearing up to knock a cautiously placed, perfectly breakable mug off a high place. His grin stretches impossibly tight.
🐱: Seo Hoyun! *touching the camera with his index finger*
🐱: If you're seeing this, Cheongbeom-noona tells you to stop ghosting us and come visit our club soon. Bring sake too!>
↪the ribbon guy @hoyunmystar
Keep fucking my girl bro i don't even care anymore
↪kabu ss2 WHEN 🕯️ @mjhthegoat
MJH AND JWS TEASING SHY??? TGT??? THIS IS NOT A DRILL??? CAN I JOIN???
↪↪wooyun archive @jugyongarchive
jws looks like he's ready to pop the ring and ure out here celebrating ur man being in a polycule
↪↪↪kabu ss2 WHEN 🕯️ @mjhthegoat
girl ur fave goes online to yap abt another man with hearts in his eyes
↪↪↪↪wooyun archive @jugyongarchive
understandable. have a nice day.
It's a low burning fire, meant to be kept as a joke within the involved fandoms. Except, Black Call's number of fans is massive. Coupled with The Dawn's rising fame and Min Jiheon's established status as a Hallyu star, fuel keeps getting added to the blazing pile.
So much that, by some miraculous, the talk reaches the domestic side also.
[Title: 'Seo Hoyun, return our men!' campaign
Yes, you read the title right
Even the foreign fans are talking about Seo Hoyun stealing all the male celebrities' attention ㅋㅋㅋ
Here is my own contribution to this campaign:
Hoyun-ah, do you know you're so pretty that Jiwon forgets to look at noona in the audience sometimes?
And Jiwon-ah, you smile brighter when I praise Hoyunie than when I compliment you ㅠㅠ
Our baby bunny, please let me shoot a romcom with Jiwonie too!!!
└I only know Seo Hoyun as PD Lee Junghoon, what's that about a romcom? Did he star in one and I didn't know?
└└You should totally go watch the video titled 'Sung Jiwon treating Seo Hoyun as his love interest' on YouTube
Warning: That guy is seriously crazy.
└└└Why are there several clips titled similarly ㅋㅋㅋ
└└└That punctuation is very firm.
└└└For the warning, do you mean Sung Jiwon or Seo Hoyun?
└└└└Everyone knows Hoyun's got some screws loose. It's Sung Jiwon that people seriously need to be cautious of
└└└└└I can tell you're a veteran Noeul from this ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└I can't understand why you seem to think someone with a personality as detestable as Seo Hoyun's would be well-liked?
Noeuls are unimaginably stupid, keep other people's idols out of your delusions, idiots.
└└Your idols are probably the ones screenshotting this and organising a PDF right now
└└Imagine trying so hard to fight for your crush's attention just to have your fans disregard your efforts
Poor whoever that guy is;;
└Jiwon-ah…. you really called your member a 'princess'? Before I get the chance to? I thought you would never betray a Noeul;;
└└You can just be the animals that always flock to Seo Hoyun
└└└The question is to whether be Joo Woosung's cat or Min Jiheon's dog
└└└└I choose to be Jung Dajun
└└└└└There's only one The Dawn's puppy, we're just homeless dogs
└└└└└└ Ouch ㅠㅠ]
As with all things revolving around Seo Hoyun, the conversation spreads even further.
[Title: SeoKangSung triangle love
Sung Jiwon is out here giving Seo Hoyun the princess treatment, while Seo Hoyun is flirting with Kang Yeonhu on national TV…
What kind of love triangle drama is this? •_•
└JiGyong took each other on dates during their self-produced content too
└Reading the title, I thought you meant Kang Ichae
└└Kang Ichae? He's in a stand-off with Baek Jijun
└└└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ You've hit the nail dead on
└Huh, I thought HiRis were saying Seo Hoyun pushed Kang Yeonhu's boundaries too much
└└That was the minority. HiRis worship Seo Hoyun for making our leader blush every time they are on air together
└└Ah, you haven't seen the clip where our kids yap about Kang Yeonhu taking Seo Hoyun out on coffee dates in the company café ㅋㅋㅋ
└└└Didn't Yeonhu personally cut that live off himself;;
└└└└Yeah, then he came back on stream with the kids who ratted him out taped with 'self-reflection' A4 papers on their shirts
└└└Fuck, this is just a typical office romance, isn't it….]
Of course, they shall never know that Kang Yeonhu is taking those 'coffee dates' as a rare opportunity to wrangle out what insane plans that bastard is going to put the company through.
Unbeknownst to the parties in the question, the flames get fanned even more passionately…
[Title: Baek Jijun - Seo Hoyun - Kang Ichae]
I saw people talking about these three but I don't know what's going on. Please help fill me in so I can gossip with my friends
└Damn noble purpose ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└For background information, Baek Jijun used to be very reclusive but after coming on Song Camp with The Dawn, he'd been accepting interviews a bit more frequently.
P.S: Cheongbeom-unnie said it's because he got words The Dawn was participating that he went on the showㅋ
So an interviewer asked him why he was so friendly to The Dawn. He listed like a dozen reasons why he respected Kang Ichae as a composer.
Now you may ask 'If so, where does the beef come from?'
Then you should know the legendary clip where he went on a flowery tangent about Seo Hoyun, so much that the editing team had to speed it up ㅋㅋㅋ. A few parts from the unedited version that trended all over SNS a few months ago:
<Seo Hoyun-ssi is my first and only muse.>
<When I first heard his voice, I rushed back to write an entire song structuring around that unique and beautiful sound.>
<His voice is the one and only of its kind in this world.>
<Baek Jijun's first impression upon meeting Seo Hoyun in person: "Wow, he looks like he can only be an RPG character with that level of handsomeness.">
└└You're seriously a legend for this
└└You left out the part where Kang Ichae dragged Seo Hoyun into his personal live the next day to insist "Hoyun-hyung can only ever sing my songs! MINE!" then shooed the guy away and strummed his ukulele as if nothing happened afterwards
└└└That was the best part.
└└└I think Sokhee-nim wrote a drama like this once
└└└└Min Jiheon would've snatched the male lead role in a heartbeat]
At this time, the discussion has been blowing up for only 4 days and still somehow manages to reign supreme on the trending board for the entirety of that period.
Half of Noeuls are ecstatic at this free promo, albeit it's coming from their precious bunny being marketed as a scrumptious piece of cake even the diabetics would yearn for. The other half of the fandom are wallowing in despair. Why? Because the husband they've been going on a honeymoon with in their mind has been transformed into K-pop's most eligible bachelor, with the digital population holding a proxy ball to select the prince most worthy of his hand in marriage.
[mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
hol' up, how many suitors does hoyun even have now. can a kind person pls inform me of the full roster cuz why r there so many ppl eyeing my wife's cookie 😭🥀
❤1,8k ↪276
Comments:
sol | 25/8 noeul @iwannagohome
the very obv contenders r kic and sjw lmaooo. then jws (brk) and kyh (hi-5). i think mjh (actor) and baek jijun (composer) too
↪mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
he rlly got at least one hoe in each department huh /lh
kim sunghyun's sponge @househusband
Poor Shin Heechan 😭 Fella always gets forgotten in these kinds of discussions rip 🥀
↪mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
the rookie actor that played in the vile trial movie with hoyun?
↪↪kim sunghyun's sponge @househusband
Yup, him
↪↪↪mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
lol why 😭
↪↪↪↪lupa (jiyun au in pinned📌) @j1yun
not op but, during vile trial shooting, hoyun liked giving shc lots of headpats (he said it's bc he's like dajun). shc told a fan he cried at the ending of the movie and declared himself an eternal shy stan from then on
↪↪↪↪lupa (jiyun au in pinned📌) @j1yun
bonus, half of his playlist is the dawn's songs and he also streamed himself sobbing to easy tempo cover stage and THE hoyun japan fancam
↪↪↪↪↪mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
have i been fighting over shy ptcs w/ celebrities all along…
aegiya~ @fallingdownera
did u know shc has a candid pola of shy in his wallet
↪mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
? i need you to elaborate oomfie
↪↪aegiya~ @fallingdownera
for some reason, hoyun was friendlier w shc than w/ other members of the cast. so he treated him to drinks and meals alot during filming. so the pola kinda jst happened. heechan said on stargram he treasured it like his family heirloom lol
↪↪↪mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
the competition just got 100000x more intense bruh im dropping out 😭
Maya /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ @hoyunnoona
My boyfriend.
↪mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
i sense shakespeare-level tragicomedy, plz go on
↪↪Maya /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ @hoyunnoona
My bf caught me watching SHY's livestream and asked me if 'this beautiful man is interested in being our third?' (We're openly poly dw)
↪↪↪mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
oh the seo hoyun impact….
["I don't whether I should laugh or cry, but if I could, I'd choose the latter".img]
Obviously, with this kind of talk gaining relevance, negative responses follow:
[Title: The bitter truth about Seo Hoyun
All these posts flattering Seo Hoyun as the favourite of public figures gaining popularity makes me feel very regretful about the current situation.
I am going to speak up about the honest, bitter truth everyone has been willingly shielding their eyes from:
Seo Hoyun leeches off others' fame and nobody actually likes him.
There, I said it. I know it's hard for Noeuls to take this in but just take a second to think about it carefully.
Don't you remember when Second Chance only got buzz because Joo Woosung posted a picture with Seo Hoyun?
Before that, both Seo Hoyun and The Dawn were just nobodies. Seo Hoyun must've either gotten some blackmail-worthy dirt on a handful important figures or was sponsored by Cheongbeom since The Dawn's weight class was totally nonexistent, how else would they get multiple songs from her with Daepaseong's stingy 'allowance-like' budget?
Noeuls are right, Seo Hoyun's face saved The Dawn, that's how the sponsorships work so well after all ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└Acting all intellectual just to show your ugly colours at the end… Maybe you should clean your account before making any 'neutral stance' posts, okay? ㅋㅋㅋ
└└Wow, I admire how the OP cleared all the previous posts but forgot their 'liked content' was visible
This is so humiliating for the fandom itself
└Keep posting. Because just like you, your oppa will continue chasing after Seo Hoyun regardless of what you insignificant vermin said ^^
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└└Heol, did I just witness somebody's ancestry being ground to dust online
└└Damn even I almost felt bad for the anti
└└Oh my god, the firepower of Noeuls is no jokes…]
Safe to say, Seo Hoyun's well trained army of feral Noeuls are nothing but competent at kicking the haters' ass.
Most just take this as a weird thing in the K-ville that just happened to pick wind and went viral. This is simply the healthier version of gossip and ill-intended speculations a.k.a the usual energy source for Internet users.
As a matter of fact, these kinds of satire headlines last for a week or two at most, existing and debated heatedly over until the next scandal comes through. "It's the K-biz's fault for not being evidently problematic to give people a common target to either hound or sympathise with", as many complain. The ridiculous instance of the whole world laughing at celebrities for being disproportionately affectionate with the controversial idol Seo Hoyun would quietly pass by in a few months.
'This would be a hilarious moment to look back on.'
That seems to be the general consensus of the fandom as well as the large portion of invested passerby. In fact, the buzz has already died down somewhat. Titles unrelated to the term 'Seo Hoyun's reverse harem' begin to overtake the otherwise related ones on the daily trending page.
Social media is on its merry way back to normalcy.
That is, until Seo Hoyun unexpectedly does something very much expected of him.
[You got several notifications from PopPop!
Hoyun: Noeuls
Hoyun: I'm not interested in being wed to anyone aside from my fans~
Hoyun: Or maybe a little more efforts and my decision could be swayed?
Hoyun: [1 image attached]
Hoyun: Let's see how it will turn out, haha!
Hoyun: Goodnight, my lovelies, Hoyunie will be going to bed now~]
The photo attached is a selfie of him lying on his bed, face snow pale with neither a trace of make-up nor blemishes, hood up and bangs down to coyly hide his sparkling navy blue eyes. His soft, peachy pink lips, glossy from nightcare lipbalm curling up mischievously.
Noeuls' first instinct is to scream into their pillow, dropkick the nearest object and smash the Save button seven-hundred-and-eleven times. Their second is to get on their knees and thank the Deity of Creation for having produced the most perfect work in Their existence.
Their third is-
[wooyun archive @jugyongarchive
?????? DID SEO HOYUN JUST. TELL HIS TJE MEN CHASING HIM RO UP THEIR GAME ?????
❤14,8k ↪3,4k
mantilla shy pls come back @wariwari
should we be concerned that he def lurks in noeulville or be concerned that he's deliberately seducing men in our dms
↪sophie IN A FRENZY @ichaeyoonceo
biblically accurate shy: Always Be Not Afraid
i'm awak @lololola
21st century k-pop idols dont compete on music charts anymore. they boutta depend on a clinically insane man for approval instead
↪ waterbomb hi5 pls @sillyducklings
As Seo Hoyun intended 🔮
nevaeh ✻ @urforeveridol
sitcom directors PACK IT UP cuz whatever tf shy is scheming will be superior to what yall could cook up in a thousand years 😂✌️
work will jinjja kill me @unemploymentlife
Now this is gonna be the perfect drama to watch at work trying not to get promoted
Seo Hoyun, keep doing what the hell it is your ass is thinking of, I trust you]
…At least no one is bored anymore.