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[The story begins in the Hula School in the afternoon]
Moses Puloki: Alright, who wants to be next for show and tell?
[Lilo comes up on the stage, dressed as Stitch.]
Lilo: For my show and tell, I’m doing something unorthodox. I’m telling a Halloween story!
Yuki: Please don’t do the one with the headless you.
Lilo: Oh, this one is worse. Way worse!
[The room darkens and scary music plays.]
Lilo: [narrating] In the ancient history, during the time where the goddesses HeeHeeYaka and PayLay were still around, there was a wicked spirit residing as the ruler of the bad afterlife who was so vile and horrific that terror and fortune would be brought to the hometown of those who even barely mentioned his name.
[Everyone is disturbed, except Stitch (who is dressed as Lilo)]
Victoria: What did the spirit look like?
Lilo: Good question. It was so ugly that words cannot describe it. Every six months, the spirit demanded the goddesses to sacrifice a soul for it to devour in exchange for not rampaging in the mortal world. Then everything changed when the spirit demanded that HeeHeeYaka and her lover LowHeeYow give him the hand of their daughter in marriage, promising that no more souls were to be sacrificed. HeeHeeYaka and LowHeeYow knew that the spirit was a cunning and lying monster who would never hold up his end of the bargain. So the three family members played a trick on him by giving him a special Lei made primarily from Ti leaves and salt, washed and rinsed in saltwater, on the day of the wedding. It worked, and the spirit was banished deep down below, never to disturb the mortals again.
[Everyone was disturbed until they let out a sigh of relief at the end.]
Lilo: Unless…
[That shuts them up]
Lilo: As I mentioned earlier, someone was dumb enough to mention his name, for if that were to happen, the Lei would break and he would be invited back to our world. Which is why you should never utter the words; Lua-Ahi Waha!!! [lets out evil laughter]
[Everyone screams except…]
Mertle: Are you seriously believing this nonsense!? A malevolent spirit eating humans and asking to marry a mortal!? What’s next, aliens living among us?
[Stitch gives her a “Really?” look.]
Mertle: …Point taken.
Lilo: Yes, Lua-Ahi Waha is a name forbidden by the ancient texts. The mention of Lua-Ahi Waha has a 100% chance of spelling doomsday upon us all! Lua-Ahi Waha-
Teresa: Will you stop saying that name!?
Elena: It’s freaking us out!
Lilo: What, Lua-Ahi Waha?
[The kids scream again]
Victoria: I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
Moses Puloki: As much as I don’t like those kinds of stories which are too scary for kids, I will commend you for using the Ti leaves and salt to ward evil spirits accurately. Though, I doubt that- [screams]
Lilo: You doubt what exactly?
[Moses screams and points at the drum, which is now floating on its own. The kids get up and scatter as we see a few paranormal events happen; the stage curtains twisting into scary faces, the rattling roof and the bushes tapping on the window. Everyone flees except Lilo and Stitch.]
Lilo: And scene.
[Everything goes back to normal. Phantasmo appears in the middle of the two, laughing.]
Lilo: Good job, Phantasmo! Way to pull off those scares! This is going to work! Just wait til Nani sees how much candy we hauled!
Phantasmo: I know! She might get a sugar rush!
[The human and experiment laugh evily]
Phantasmo: Hey, I think I saw Mertle buy some limited edition candy from the candy store.
Lilo: Then let’s scare her first!
[Stitch walks up to the two, unsure and disappointed as the ghost experiment flies off.]
Lilo: Stitch, I know you’re not one for screaming, but I’m gonna need it to be a little more convincing.
Stitch: Lilo, this is wrong.
Lilo: What is wrong? The bit where we made up a story about a underworld monster banished down there because it ate human souls and a special Lei, so we can pose as paranormal hunters and get paid with everyone’s candy?
Stitch: Everything.
Lilo: Do you really think this is a bad idea?
Stitch: Ih.
Lilo: Don’t you want to cause a little bit of mayhem? This is one of your favourite events of the year after all.
Stitch: Not if it involves doing something deceitful.
Lilo: [sighs] Sometimes I get sick of Mertle and her lot still making fun of me. It seems that no matter what I do, I’ll always be mocked for not being normal…
Phantasmo: What even is normal?
Lilo: I’m just like Frankenstein. I look like everyone else but different… and I want candy. But, there’ll be enough for you and you! And we won’t target the restaurant that Phantasmo works for nor the new job that Nani has.
Stitch: [crossing his arms] Meega naga chita coota.
Lilo: Y’know, maybe all that candy would make for a nice present for Angel~
[Stitch blushes while he fantasizes himself dancing with Angel.]
Stitch: Okay, when do we start?
[At Mertle’s house, Lilo and Stitch knock on the door. Mertle opens it and sees the duo.]
Mertle: Oh, it’s you. Please tell me it’s not to do with ghos-
Lilo: Sadly, yes. We detected some paranormal activity around your backya-
[Mertle slams the door in their faces. Lilo gives a nod to Phantasmo, who then flies over to the hose. The hose then rises and slithers over towards the window like a snake. Mertle screams and opens the door]
Lilo: We’ll help you get rid of the ghost. For a small fee, of course.
Mertle: How much, exactly?
Lilo: A bag of candy like the one in that corner.
[Beat. Mertle huffs and hands them the candy. Lilo and Stitch go over and ‘exterminate’ the ‘ghost’.]
Lilo: This is shaping up to be a good one this year!
[Stitch is not impressed. We then see a montage set to the song Get Ghost by A $AP Ferg, Mark Ronson, and Passion Pit (even though the song did not exist then) as the trio - now in Ghostbuster esque gear - walk down the Hawaiian streets. We see Yuki being chased by a mailbox moving on its own (actually possessed by Phantasmo)]
Lilo: Oh no, one of Lua-Ahi Waha’s minions is terrorising that innocent girl! Stitch, we know what to do!
[Stitch nods and leaps up onto the mailbox, wrestling with it. Lilo takes out her ‘proton pack’ (actually a vaccum) and sucks up the ‘ghost’, angling it on a way so that nobody else can see it. Once its done, Yuki breathes a sigh of relief and pays them. Later, even Lilo and Stitch are alone…]
Phantasmo: [popping out the pack] I better be paid double for that one.
[They walk down the streets again. Lilo and Stitch try and high-five Phantasmo, but end up hitting each other's faces by accident instead. We see Victoria and Snooty prepared to dive into a swimming pool, only for them to hit the slightly wet bottom. They look up to see that the water is levitating.
Civilian: [gasps] Lua-Ahi Waha!!
[Lilo and Stitch burst in, still holding vacuums.]
Stitch: Wagada! We'll take it from here!
Lilo: For a small fee!
Victoria: Thank goodness you're here!
[Lilo and Stitch start the vacuums and all of the water drops in the pool, leaving Victoria and Snooty to float. The two then hand all of their candy to them, which is slightly wet.]
Stitch: Quana chista doonga fava no pugy.
[The song is interrupted for a moment when Stitch trips on the cable of his vacuum, but he manages to plug it somewhere else. We then see Moses meditating at the hula school and starts levitating.]
Moses Puloki: [gasps] I finally reached a state of pure enlightenment!
[He looks up, only to see he is actually being lifted up towards the ceiling!
Moses Puloki: No no no no! Stop, STOP! HELP! [screams]
[Lilo and Stitch turn their vacuums on - with Stitch throwing salt - successfully stopping the ‘ghost’. Moses Puloki rewards them with a bottle of Hawaiian Punch.]
Stitch: Gaba?
Lilo: Hawaiian Punch?
Moses Puloki: It’s the only one I have. I’m not a candy person.
[Beat. Stitch and Lilo shrug and walk off. They are now inside their house.]
Stitch: I'm glad we're gonna quit while we're ahead for once.
Lilo: Yeah...
Stitch: We are quitting, aren't we?
Lilo: Yeah?
Stitch: You're lying, aren't you?
Lilo: Yeah.
Stitch: We're gonna scam every bit of candy in this town, aren't we?
Lilo: Yeah.
[The ground from further away begins to shake and red light shines through cracks forming. Outside, the sky has turned red, and people are running away screaming as cars and chunks of the road start levitating. Meanwhile, in Lilo’s room, Stitch, Lilo and Phantasmo stand on top of a giant pile of candy which fills up the entire room.]
Lilo: Ah, there. Every last bit of candy in Kokaua Town! Alright, dig in!
Phantasmo: [rubs his hands together] I can’t wait to try some of these! Can I borrow one of your bodies to, you know?
[Lilo looks at him]
Lilo: If you say so…
[Stitch spots the sky]
Stitch: Uh... Did the weatherman say "cloudy with a chance of apocalypse?"
[The three of them look out the window and notice the red light ray above the hula school. They hurry to school, where a crowd has gathered.]
Lilo: What's going on?
[A deep growl is heard coming from the building.]
Teresa: Lua-Ahi Waha has taken over the school!
Lilo: WHAT!? He's real?!
Stitch: Kweesta!
Phantasmo: Stitch! Don’t use that word! There’s kids here!
Mertle: Lilo! You did this. You brought this upon us!
Lilo: How was I to know that the legend had truth in it?! You expect little preteen me to take everything seriously!?
Moses Puloki: Regardless, the ghost busting trio are here now. They'll save us from Lua-Ahi Waha!
[The crowd cheers as the aforementioned three look nervous. Cut to them walking carefully into the school.]
Lilo: I always knew I'd get another fifteen minutes of fame, I just didn't think they'd be my last... [gulps] So Phantasmo, in the story, what exactly did we say how to banish Lua-Ahi Waha?
Phantasmo: Ti leaves and salt, made in a Lei.
Lilo: Right. Too bad we don’t have any of those.
Phantasmo: Or we could use the power of the sacrifice of a lone, selfless hero.
Stitch: That’s vague, to be honest.
[They come across Lua-Ahi Waha, who starts rising from a hole in the ground.]
Phantasmo: Run—
Lilo: Wait. If your story's true, all it takes is a hero. This hero.
["Get Ghost" starts and immediately stops playing when Lilo attempts to suck Lua-Ahi Waha into her vacuum multiple times, but nothing happens.]
Stitch: I’ve got an idea! Creeta manjai!
[Phantasmo picks up Stitch and throws him towards Lua-Ahi Waha. Stitch claws and bites at the monster… to no avail.]
Stitch: ...Right, maybe not.
[Lua-Ahi Waha growls menacingly, picking up Stitch and throwing him off. Lua-Ahi Waha starts going after them.]
Phantasmo: We deserved this, we shouldn't have scammed all that candy!
Stitch: You can say that again! [suddenly, an idea comes to him and he snaps his fingers] That’s it! We need to feed him the candy!
Lilo: Are you serious!? No way, I worked way too hard for that!
[Lua-Ahi Waha’s many arms extend and eventually grab Lilo, Stitch and Phantasmo, dragging them to him.]
Phantasmo: You need to make a sacrifice, like the hero in the story!
Lilo: No!
[Lua-Ahi Waha prepares to eat them.]
Lilo: [shudders] Okay!
Phantasmo: Lua-Ahi Waha! If you agree to release us, we shall give you what your heart desires. A sacrifice to your infinite fleshitude.
[Lua-Ahi Waha puts them down.]
Phantasmo: Sugarify!
[Phantasmo’s spell opens a hole in the ceiling, transferring all of the candy in Lilo’s room directly into the monster's mouth.]
Lilo: He's a monster!
Stitch: Uh, duh?
Lilo: That's not what I meant. He's not even taking off the wrappers!
Phantasmo: Look out. One more mouthful and he'll blow!
[They take cover as it seems Lua-Ahi Waha is about to explode, but he only lets out a burp instead.]
Stitch: And apparently he’s dumber than what we said.
Phantasmo: Quick! Is there any more candy left?
[Lilo spots the bottle of Hawaiian Punch and hides it behind her back.]
Lilo: No.
Phantasmo: Then run again.
[They start running again with Lua-Ahi Waha’s arms reaching out for them.]
Stitch: Remind me to never believe any more of your stories!
Lilo: That's it! He's only here because we made people believe in him! Maybe, if we close our eyes and stop believing... and perhaps implement the “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me”.
[Lilo places her hands in front of her eyes and concentrates, but she ends up running into a side wall.]
Lilo: Everything I’ve learnt is a lie!
Stitch: Lua-Ahi Waha, stop! Why are you doing this? Is it really food you seek? Perhaps the emptiness isn't in your stomach, but in your heart. It seems like it was wrong for the gods to trick you…
[The monster seems calm for a moment, but quickly returns to his violent ways and grabs Lilo and Stitch. Phantasmo appears in front of him.]
Phantasmo: Lua-Ahi Waha, no! If you promise not to destroy this world, I will fill the void in your heart.
Lilo: W-what are you doing?
Phantasmo: I’m a monster, you’re a monster. I will be your bride.
[Phantasmo and Lua-Ahi Waha have a wedding ceremony on the stage. Lua-Ahi Waha’s speech seems to be composed of only roaring sounds, while Lilo and Stitch witness in horror.]
Phantasmo: I do. And you, Lua-Ahi Waha, do you promise to share your soul-eating heart in health, but mostly sickness, and join me for eternally horrible matrimony in the Underworld?
[Lua-Ahi Waha lets out another roar.]
Phantasmo: ...I'll take that as a yes. Then with this kiss, let us seal our unholy union.
[The newlyweds prepare to kiss.]
Stitch: There has to be another way!
[Lilo pulls out the Hawaiian Punch behind her back. She realises what she must do now, finally knowing what is more important.]
Lilo: Alright, I’ll do it.
[Lilo throws the drink directly into the mouth of Lua-Ahi Waha, causing him to explode and cover the trio in black (non-dangerous) sludge
Phantasmo: Sike!
[Outside the hula school, the sky clears out, and the crowd cheers as Lilo, Stitch and Phantasmo exit. Lilo allows them to launch her up. Once the crowd has finished celebrating, Lilo and Stitch sit on the porch of their home.]
Lilo: Well, we may have lost all our candy, but at least we saved the day from a real monster. Wasn’t expected for the monster to be real though.
Stitch: Regardless, we learned an important lesson from this. When you scam someone or people, expect to lose all of it when you’re found out. Or expect to lose it even when not found out. Wierd.
Phantasmo: But I didn’t even get to taste one! How are we going to make Halloween enjoyable now? How will the restaurant fare in this-
Lilo: [as Phantasmo is rambling] C’mon, Stitch, lets see what movies are on for Christmas this year.
[The koala-like alien agrees with her and they walk away, ending the story.]
END
{In memory of Daveigh Chase (the voice actor of Lilo)
July 24, 1990 – June 16, 2026}