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“Anything going on with you, Avery?”
Derek and Avery were eating at the usual café that they met up at, usually after classes or during the brief one and a half hour lunch break when all of the university departments were closed. Soft sunlight streamed through the wide windows, bathing the café in a welcoming and gentle glow. Derek was actually just planning to go to his next class and wait in the classroom until lunch was over and class would begin, but Avery had texted him wanting to hang out, telling him that his class had cancelled. Derek could never say no to spending time with Avery, and before he knew it, he was at the counter of their favorite café near the campus and ordered their usual food.
Derek had known Avery since freshman year, when the social sciences department had tried to open a Minecraft server for “department bonding”, though it didn’t last that long and soon became inactive. Derek never stopped talking to Avery though, even if he kind of annoyed him at first. Now he was used to Avery, now he…liked Avery. The world seemed to be so much brighter with him around, literally right now, with the way Avery was bathed in the gentle afternoon sunlight that filtered through the windows. Derek was always happy to spend time with Avery, whether that be eating out together or playing in their private Minecraft server together.
“Oh, nothing much.” Avery said with a shrug, taking a sip of his coffee. “I have to meet up with some of my classmates on Friday. Y’know, for a report we’re supposed to be working on. But that’s it, really.”
“I wouldn’t call that nothing much.” Derek replied.
“Eh, it’s nothing much compared to nursing students.” Avery said, and then he leaned in, his eyes wide with bafflement as he said. “Can you imagine how much work it is being a nursing student? Imagine it! I sure as hell can’t handle it.”
Derek never understood why Avery got like this, so self-deprecating about himself, always talking about how he wasn’t smart or capable or reliable. Sure, Avery wasn’t a star student or anything, but Derek could always count on him to be there for him. Derek remembered one time, when he got into a fight with Hastur, one of the professors at the social sciences department who seemed to hate his guts, Avery had comforted him and bought him ice cream to cheer him up. Avery paid for the ice cream, vehemently refused any money that Derek tried to give him, and just told him with a smile that all he wanted was to see him smile. Avery always said he wasn’t sure why Derek would be his friend, but why would he not want to be friends with someone as kind and caring as him?
“…Yeah, sure.” Derek murmured.
“I don’t think I could ever be a nursing student! I’m not smart enough.” Avery said.
“You’re smart enough.” Derek replied without thinking.
Avery just stared at him. “What?”
“I think you’d be smart enough to be a nursing major.” Derek said.
“I- What?” Avery looked surprised at that. “C’mon, Derek. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not.” Derek said, and then he added. “You’re not as dumb as you think you are.”
Avery just stared at him, stunned. “…Well, I guess not.” He laughed, lighthearted. “You always know how to make me feel better.” His laugh transitioned into a soft fond smile. “I don’t know how you do it.”
You always know how to make me feel better, too, Derek wanted to tell him, but Avery already knew that. It was so obvious, why wouldn’t Avery know that just his smile made Derek’s day? Or that the memory of his laugh made the world feel lighter and brighter? He must’ve known, if he continued laughing and smiling, continued spending time with him despite how busy his schedule had gotten since they both enrolled in junior year. And honestly, Derek was glad they still got to spend time with each other. Avery was the person that Derek was closest to in his life, aside from his mother of course.
“Anyways,” Avery continued. “What’s your next class after this?”
“Latin America in World History.” Derek replied, and then he asked. “You?”
“Social Issues in the Contemporary World.” Avery answered.
“Ah, I see.” Derek said, checking his watch. “We need to leave soon for classes, can’t be late.”
“Or…we could stay.” Avery said with a smile, and then he laughed. “You don’t have to be 30 minutes early to every class, Derek.”
Derek frowned, and Avery laughed when he did. But he smiled a little when he saw the way Avery’s eyes sparkled with amusement, they were brighter than a star twinkling in the night sky.
Avery may not know it, but Derek could count on him, no matter what.
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Derek let out a sigh of relief when the professor dismissed class, putting his things in his bag before zipping it up and getting up along with the rest of his classmates.
Finally, he could go home.
Students trickled out of the lecture hall like a babbling brook, while the professor shouted out reminders that only teacher’s pets—seriously? Why are you a teacher’s pet in college?—took note of and would annoyingly text the group chat later. Derek packed his things and got up, joining the sea of students talking excitedly about whatever plans they had after class. It was his last class of the day, and damn was Derek glad that it was done, 4 to 5:30 classes were hell. Derek was ready to get back home and play Minecraft, especially if Avery would hop on the server with him.
“Derek!”
Speaking of Avery.
Derek looked up, smiling a little when he saw Avery waiting for him outside. Avery was supposed to be in his Mandarin class right now, so Derek was a little surprised to see him, though he’d never complain about seeing his friend. Their classrooms and lecture halls were near each other, a perk of being in the same department together. Derek could always count on Avery being in the little stale-aired student lobby in their department building, on his phone and definitely not studying for any exams. Though, the foreign languages department was pretty far from the social sciences department, maybe they cancelled? Or maybe Avery just didn’t go, he once told Derek, while drunk, that he didn’t go to class because he didn’t understand the reading material and didn’t want to feel dumb.
“Hey, Avery.” Derek said.
“Hey!” Avery smiled, and then he said. “Geez, did your class take long! I’ve been waiting outside your like an hour.”
Derek chuckled. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.” Avery replied. “Just wanted to drop by to say hi, and y’know, if you weren’t busy.”
“I’m not.” Derek said, and then he asked. “Don’t you have class?”
“Yeah, but our professor cancelled class, so I decided to wait here for you.” Avery replied.
Derek raised a brow. “And didn’t you tell me that your group was supposed to meet up after your Mandarin class to practice for your report?”
“Well, yeah. But I was hoping to see you before I practice.” Avery said, and then he shrugged. “Y’know, I like being around you.”
“You like me enough to wait outside my classroom for an hour even though you’re busy?” Derek said.
Avery smiled, his voice soft with fondness as he said. “I’ll always make time for you, Derek.”
He always knew how to make Derek feel like the most important person in the world, when his voice was soft as the petal of a newly blossomed rose. Avery was so thoughtful and attentive, so determined to cheer Derek up when he didn’t do well on a test, always asking him out to eat or get frozen yoghurt—even when Derek was busy. It used to annoy him, how Avery would ask him to hang out when he was busy. But now Derek appreciated it, appreciated how Avery was willing to drop anything just to make him feel like he mattered to Avery more than any person in the world.
He was a good friend, a friend that Derek was grateful for, ever since he first met him.
“…Thank you, Avery.” Derek said. “Well, I was just going to the stalls behind the business and finance department for some dinner.”
“Oh! Lemme come with you, I’m starving.”
The two of them walked out of the social sciences department building, talking with each other about their plans on their Minecraft server.
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“Ugh, do we have to go, Derek?”
“Yes, we do.”
“But like, do we have to?”
“Yes.”
“Ugh, fine.”
That was Avery and Derek’s conversation about their department’s acquaintance party yesterday, when Avery had run out of his usual excuses to not go to department events. Don’t get him wrong, Derek didn’t want to go either, but being in college meant obligations, and social events were one of them. Though, Derek was near tempted into just staying home and playing Minecraft with Avery, though a message in their department group chat that they’d especially appreciate seniors and juniors attending quickly changed his mind. Most professors had cancelled class to let the students get the classroom ready for the party, and when it came time for the moon to rise from the horizon, they were ready for the party.
And it sucked.
The music was far too loud for comfort, and there were far too many people in the room, all chatting to each other about class or whatever gossip was circulating campus. The only good thing about this party was the food, which was free and was the majority of the reason they were both here in the first place. The other students seemed to be enjoying themselves, setting up the ice breakers and social games that they were planning—and which sounded like a nightmare. Derek wasn’t that impressed, and he would’ve noped out instantly if he didn’t see a box of delicious looking donuts on the table. Avery didn’t look impressed either.
“This kinda sucks.” Avery whispered to Derek.
“It does.” Derek whispered back.
“Stay for the food?”
“Yeah.”
Avery grinned.
The two of them suffered through the first of the games that the department had planned, though they mostly sat at the back and talked with each other, maybe chat with a mutual friend of theirs who went to them to ask how the night was going. When they took a break from the games to eat dinner, Avery and Derek stuffed themselves with food, both agreeing to escape for a bit for “fresh air” when the next round of games began. Derek already knew most of the people at the party, and the room was already getting too loud with the chatter of everyone in the room inside—and no doubt it’d get louder once they played the social games and ice breakers again, Derek just knew it would.
So when the department president went to the front to announce that they’d be starting their ice breaker games, Derek and Avery slipped out of the room and went outside. The breeze was brisk and the night sky was dark with scattered twinkling stars. Derek and Avery walked through the cobblestone path of their campus, both silent as they just…enjoyed the serene evening. Derek always liked how he could just stay silent with Avery, and they’d know that they still cared about each other deeply. The night was so peaceful, so calm and serene, Derek could let his thoughts float about languidly against the clear dark sky. And by his side would be Avery, Avery who was texting on his phone, looking like the most beautiful thing that Derek had ever seen bathed in pale moonlight. Avery pocketed his phone, and their eyes met.
“Better than the acquaintance party?” Avery asked.
“Better.” Derek replied.
“Honestly, it wasn’t all bad.” Avery said, and then he added. “But I always have a good time when I’m around you.”
“Yeah…” Derek slowly smiled. “Me too.”
“You know, I used to think that nobody would wanna be my friend once I got to college.” Avery said, his gaze was fond and brimming with affection, for Derek. “You…help me like myself. It’s weird.”
Derek was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. Avery cared about him, they were friends, they both knew this. And yet, Avery always made Derek feel cared for, made him feel like nothing else in the world matters but the two of them. Two friends, side by side, them against the world. That would’ve been terrifying…but Derek knew that if he had Avery by his side, that he’d be fine. He never knew what to say when Avery got sappy like this, which was actually quite rare. Derek could tell that it was always genuine, how could he doubt him when he looked at him with such affection in his eyes?
And so, Derek said the first thing that came to mind. “I hope I can help you love yourself.”
Avery smiled. “One day, maybe.”
The two eventually went back to the acquaintance party, and they stuffed their face with donuts while two sociology students sang Taylor Swift songs up front.
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“Here’s your dorm, Avery.”
The sun was barely dipping under the horizon, bathing the world in its last sunbeams before the moonrays came to greet the world. Everything looked beautiful, kissed in sunset rays, the skies slowly pinkening from bright warm hues to dark cool colors. Avery lived in a campus dorm, which he always said was much more convenient than living outside campus, even if he complained about dorm food sucking all of the time. Derek was sure it was, though with how often he visited Avery’s dorm, the dorm manager started calling him an “honorary dormer”, which he found annoying. Oh well, let bygones be bygones.
Derek was walking Avery back to the dorm, like he always did. He couldn’t wait to get back home to relax, but he always did jump at the opportunity to spend more time with Avery. Why wouldn’t he? They were friends, after all. And Derek was happy to walk him back to his dorm every time, another lame excuse in a sea of lame excuses to spend time with him. They could talk about anything with each other, and god, Avery looked like the most beautiful thing in the world when he was kissed by the last remnants of sunrays. He wished Avery knew how gorgeous he looked.
“Thanks for walking me home, Derek.” Avery said, and then he asked. “Any plans after this?”
“Aside from playing Minecraft, not really.” Derek replied.
“Oh, I’ll log on the server after I finish my homework.” Avery said. “Have a good one, Derek!” He turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks, as though he remembered something. “Oh, before I leave…”
Derek raised a brow, not knowing what to expect. And oh boy, did he not expect what Avery did next.
“I just wanted to say…thanks.” Avery continued. “For being my friend, it means a lot. You stayed by me all this time, until now.” His gaze softened with affection as he added. “I’ll always be here by your side, because I…” He hesitated for a moment, and then he smiled. “…I care about you more than anyone else in the world.”
There was something in his tone of voice, in the way his eyes were brimming in affection, the way he looked at Derek like he was the only thing that mattered to him. It was like a beautiful flower that Derek didn’t know the name of, only knew that it was beautiful and blossomed vividly amongst plain wildflowers. And then it hit him, the name to these feelings.
Love.
This was love.
What they had together…it was love.
“Bye, Derek.”
Avery went inside his dorm, and Derek just stared at the front door with his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed like a madman, before he eventually snapped out of it and made his trek back to his apartment. The affection in Avery’s voice fluttered in the air like falling flower petals, beautiful and vibrant and full of life. Derek did always care for Avery, a new kind of care that he couldn’t quite explain.
And this was love, he realized, looking up at the pinkening sky.
It was love.