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“Hey, stop talking trash, people will think we’re actually dating.”
Wooyoung hears himself laugh at his best friend’s words. Everyone seems to think that though. Hell, his parents have not-so-subtly hinted several times that they are completely okay with it if Wooyoung were dating San. But he’s not. Yes, they are together almost every waking second, and they’re both very clingy with each other, but they’re not dating.
Wooyoung has never dated anyone. He has never met anyone he wanted to date. Even when all his friends started feeling desperate for a lover, Wooyoung never gave the idea of finding someone much thought. Why would he need a boyfriend anyway? San wakes him up with kisses and smooth whispers every morning. San makes breakfast for both of them because heaven knows Wooyoung can’t cook. If Wooyoung wants to check out a new café or go to the movies, San goes with him. And when Wooyoung is worn out from a long day of practice, San cuddles him to sleep. Wooyoung is perfectly content with his life. He has no need for a boyfriend.
But that doesn’t mean he never wants to date anyone. Sometimes, when he’s just read a particularly sweet romance novel, he imagines what it would be like to kiss someone, to have strong arms wrap around his waist, and push him into the bed, he imagines what it would be like to have sex. He wants that. Someday, with some faceless stranger.
“Anyway, while I have the chance, let me just say this: we’re not dating. We’re just really good friends.” San’s words pull him back from his thoughts.
Wooyoung forces his lips into a smile. Keeps his head down so nobody sees his expression falter. It’s not that he wants them to be more than friends. But San sounds upset at the idea of people thinking they might be together. Was he really that undesirable? Nobody has ever shown actual interest in dating him. Yes, he has been hit on by strangers a few times, but they all looked like people who would hit on anyone as long as they were breathing. He doesn’t need to be in a relationship, but sometimes he wonders if anyone would ever want him.
A staff member says something, and Wooyoung gets out of his head and focuses on the show. At the end of the day, San’s words don’t really affect him. San might find the idea of being in a relationship with Wooyoung repulsive, but that’s fine, since they’re best friends anyway. And if Wooyoung went to bed way earlier than usual that night, and moved away when he felt San’s arm encircle him, that didn’t mean anything, he was just extra tired that day.
* * *
Wooyoung keeps a distance from San for the next days. It’s subtle enough that San doesn’t even notice, but Wooyoung doesn’t actively seek him out as he usually does. Instead, he spends more time with the other members. He goes for a swim with Seonghwa, stays back after practice to perfect his moves with Yunho, drapes himself on Mingi’s lap during breaks, laughs as he kneads his fingers into Wooyoung’s waist. He still has his meals with San, still picks out San’s outfits, still goes to sleep next to San. But Wooyoung can’t help but feel a little awkward when he sees San.
On the third day since ‘the incident’, as Wooyoung has started to refer to in his head, they’re all hanging out at Hongjoong’s place. The members are either playing video games or goofing around. Mingi has Wooyoung pinned on a couch, hands beneath his shirt as he tickles the life out of him. Wooyoung feels himself flush as he lets out a sound that is embarrassingly close to a moan. Mingi is delighted at this, and he intensifies his attack. “Hey Mingi, can you come help me out with this?” San calls out suddenly, a weird expression on his face. Mingi leaves after giving Wooyoung’s hair a ruffle, allowing him to finally catch his breath.
Mingi and San return a few minutes later with snacks. San plops himself down next to Wooyoung on the couch. He places his hand on Wooyoung’s hip and pulls their bodies close, leaning down to place a light kiss on the side of Wooyoung’s neck.
“I feel like you haven’t been around much these days,” San whispers against his ear.
“What do you mean? We literally live together,” Wooyoung tries to sound normal.
“Yeah, but you haven’t been paying attention to me,” San says, his lips forming a pout. Wooyoung feels his walls crack.
“Fine, I’ll give you more attention, you big baby,” Wooyoung presses a kiss on San’s cheek. It’s a lie. Wooyoung knows it’s a lie. But he can’t bear to acknowledge that as he faces the pleased smile that is forming on San’s face.
* * *
Despite his words, Wooyoung continues giving San a wide berth. Well, not exactly a wide berth—Wooyoung doesn’t think he’s capable of that—but wider than their normal. San seems to be noticing it. He can feel San staring at him all the time.
San always liked to keep his eyes on Wooyoung. But Wooyoung doesn’t remember it being so… intense.
It was the day of their fan meeting. If things were normal between him and San, Wooyoung would have been all over him on stage. But things are decidedly not okay between them, so Wooyoung keeps his distance. He dances with Yunho, lets Mingi grind into him, but he does not do anything with San. He catches San staring at him, his eyes darker than Wooyoung has ever seen, but Wooyoung cannot bring himself to go over to him.
After the fanmeet is done, throughout their ride home, San stays silent. Wooyoung could sense his glare, but he pointedly ignored it. The elevator ride up to their apartment was filled with uncomfortable silence.
He had just taken his shoes off when he felt a harsh tug on his arm. San slammed him into the wall, one hand on Wooyoung’s waist, the other on the wall by Wooyoung’s head. He looked positively murderous.
“Wooyoung-ah, Wooyoung-ah, Wooyoung-ah, why are you being so bad, hmm?” San says, his voice low. Wooyoung feels his breath hitch.
“Do you think I don’t know that you’ve been avoiding me?” Wooyoung cannot bear to look at him.
“Look me in the eye, Wooyoung-ah,” San commands, his fingers on Wooyoung’s chin, tilting his head up. Wooyoung nearly shivers. “Do you have an explanation?”
“I…I wasn’t avoiding you,” Wooyoung doesn’t whimper, but it’s a close thing.
“Don’t lie to me, Wooyoung-ah. Do you have any idea how I’ve been feeling these past few days?” San presses closer to him, hands tightening on his waist. “You avoid my touch, and then you go and sit on Mingi’s lap, you let him put his hands on you.” Wooyoung lets out a whimper.
“I…I…why do you care if I let Mingi put his hands on me?” Wooyoung can’t hold it back anymore.
“Why do I care?” San’s voice is dangerously low. Wooyoung is sure he’ll have bruises on his waist tomorrow. “Wooyoung-ah, you’re mine,” San pulls him impossibly close, their noses almost touching.
“You’re mine, Wooyoung-ah, nobody else should get to hold you,” San growls.
Wooyoung can’t believe his ears. “But…but you seemed to hate the idea of being with me. On our Youtube channel, you said—”
“Our Youtube channel? You took that seriously?” San’s expression has become lighter, almost fond. “My sweet Wooyoung-ah, baby, that was just an act. You know I had to say that for the sake of appearances. Trust me when I say this; there’s nothing I want more in this world than to be your boyfriend.”
“You…want to date me?” Wooyoung says, his voice barely a whisper.
“Wasn’t that obvious, baby? I’ve wanted to date you for years,” San’s lips are almost touching his. “Can I kiss you?”
Wooyoung gives a slow nod, and San is suddenly pulling him into a punishing kiss. Wooyoung lets out a small whine.
“Fuck, baby” San’s voice sounds rough. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this for. I love you, Wooyoung-ah.”
Tears spill out from Wooyoung’s eyes, “I…I love you too.”
“That’s all I need to hear, baby. Don’t pull away from me anymore, okay?”
“Okay.”
San presses a kiss to his eye. “You’ve had a long day, let’s get you to bed.”
Wooyoung sleeps better that day than he has ever.