Chapter Text
The land of rivers is widely known for its cozy weather. Naruto and Kakashi had been working on a library there since they died —or at least that’s what the world believes. The sore of losing left in between that old inn; the hope of the life they dreamt of rising with the sun each morning.
Everything was going perfect; it had been 3 months since the Konoha incident and Kakashi was as better as before. Things were only going to get better. Right...?
That was a statement Naruto really hoped believing but we all know that luck is not something on his side.
“Breakfast’s ready”
Naruto blinks slowly, the weight of his body kicking around —mornings had never been his favorite part of the day.
The past few days Naruto had been feeling… weird. It’s like someone has been punching him in the abdomen hardly non-stop. But he has never been sick, and, as much as he knows, jinchūrikis never get sick —an excellent advantage, in Naruto’s opinion— and he is definitely not that blind to even considerate that someone is kicking him 24/7 without him noticing.
Naruto sits up, rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and decides that is better to ignore the crescent pain in his chest. If he ignores it, it might as well disappear, he thinks.
“Coming” Naruto mutters. He lifts himself up and walks to the kitchen. They’ve been living on a small apartment right in front of the library, it was cozy enough to let both enjoy their company, their bond has grown closer, and Naruto thinks in Kakashi as the family he never had, and —even if Kakashi is not good at expressing his own feelings— Kakashi does too.
“Bad sleep?” Kakashi asks, frowning at Naruto’s look.
“Kinda” Naruto answers while yawning. He grabs the kettle with hot water to prepare him and Kakashi a cup of tea as always.
A scent of warm omelet fills the room. Kakashi prepares the plates while Naruto sets the table, he grabs both cups gently, trying not to spill anything on the floor.
They both sat at the circular table in the middle of the apartment. A draft crept through the room; Naruto let out a trembling gasp.
“I-It’s kind of co-old” he said shivering, covering his arms at the sudden reminder of the late winter.
Kakashi set both plates at the table and gently ruffled Naruto’s hair.
God forbid, but it is funny to see Naruto whining and complaining like the kid he never got to be. It makes Kakashi feel… proud, a late promise he made to Minato long ago. It was… endearing, to finally feel part of someone’s life —to be part of a family.
“Well, Konoha is very hot in comparison,” “specially at winter”
“I have nothing against winter, I swear!” Naruto munched a bit of the omelet before rushing up. “I love eating hot ramen—mmm, this is delicious Kashi!—and sleeping late ‘cause the weather just calls that to me.” Winter activities were a big deal, if you ask him.
The morning continued as normally, the library was closed since yesterday —and will probably be closed for a few weeks more— thanks to a deep cleaning, according to the owner. It was nice staying at home and doing stuff together. They’ve grown close.
--
Kakashi was suspicious. Naruto has always been a good, innocent kid but silence is not part of his vocabulary; Silence usually meant childish trouble.
Clang!
“Naruto...? Is everything all ri-”
“I’m fine! There is absolutely nothing for you to worry about… Zero mess… ‘M not making any trouble ‘ttebayo.”
Yeah, Naruto is not very good at lying, at least not when he isn’t in danger. Kakashi sat up from reading and walked slowly to the kitchen, trying to prepare himself for whatever Naruto was up to.
“Hi…” Naruto said innocently. He was lying on the floor with every possible dish and pot you could name surrounding him. “I’m starting to believe cooking is something made up by tall people to suppress us” Naruto gasped, throwing a childish and cute —according to Kakashi— tantrum.
“Yeah, I don’t think so” Kakashi chuckled while helping Naruto stand up. “So, you were trying to cook?”
“You always make dinner! I-” he rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous grin spreading across his face. “I wanted to make something for you too, dattebayo!”
A warm feeling spread over Kakashi’s body, he smiled gently behind his mask —Naruto had already seen his face, but the mask had become part of Kakashi’s commodity.
“What do you think about making dinner together?”
Naruto’s blue eyes lit up like tiny suns.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“But first, we better start cleaning up this mess” Kakashi mentioned, pointing with his hand all around Naruto.
“Hehe, yeah…”
It was palpable.
Naruto picked up everything before Kakashi put all in place. They were silent, no words were needed even though it seemed like it. Their synergy was perfect and the warmth between them could be felt from miles away.
“It’s rare…” Naruto mumbled, chopping vegetables while standing on a step stool. He wouldn’t let his 11-year-old height keep him from helping.
“Mmh?”
“I mean… it’s rare,” Naruto stopped himself, staring off. “I have never liked silence —unless we are talking about waiting for ramen to boil up ‘ttebayo!”
“…It usually means…” He didn’t finish the sentence, but Kakashi knew better. Before leaving the village together, Naruto had passed through things a child should never have to.
Naruto stopped himself, noticing the tense atmosphere around them.
“But I do like you!” Naruto rushed out. Kakashi furrowed his brow.
“I mean… I like silence with you around!” Kakashi’s eyes went wide.
“—”
A wide grin appeared all over Naruto’s face. He resumed chopping the vegetables, unaware of Kakashi’s shock.
“I’m done!”
“—”
“Kakashi...?” Naruto said, waving his hands in front of Kakashi’s face.
“Oh! Yeah, sorry. What did you say?”
“I’m done!” Naruto said, far too proud of his uneven cutting.
“Right. Why don’t you start setting the table? The cooking by itself won’t take long.” Naruto nodded vigorously.
The sizzling of the pan filled the room.
A strange sense of warmth spread across Kakashi’s chest.
He couldn’t describe it.
He had started to feel it ever since he moved in with Naruto. It made Kakashi smile softly every single time. It reminded him of a long time ago, but he couldn't pinpoint it no matter how much he tried.
Skrrrch.
Naruto dragged the step stool all the way around, stepping onto it and trying hard to reach for the upper cabinets. Kakashi turned off the stove and picked up the plates.
“Here,” Kakashi handed them to Naruto, “I should probably change the arrangement around here so you can reach things better.”
Naruto huffed. “Why does it take so long to grow up?” he cried out.
“I like you just like this,” Kakashi said, ruffling Naruto’s hair.
Naruto looked down, a slight flush covering his cheeks.
--
After dinner Naruto was tired. He hadn’t done much, had he? Winter’s fault, he thought. He headed toward the bathroom for a hot bath; a desperate need for warmth he couldn’t describe crept through his body.
The pain in his abdomen hadn’t stopped. It actually grew stronger.
I’ve been through worse, maybe I just ate too much ramen yesterday, he noted, deciding to ignore it, again.
--
Naruto was asleep. Kakashi was propped up on his futon, staring blankly at the ceiling.
A dim, warm light covered the room.
Their apartment was small, but it was enough. Kakashi and Naruto had separate rooms and the kitchen-living area was perfect for two people.
Kakashi had lived alone for most of his life. He had gotten accustomed to it —moving every few months, living the lonely life of a rogue shinobi.
But… meeting Naruto and faking their deaths had changed it all.
Aside from bringing the peace of not having to move constantly —since no one would ever search for a dead person in the middle of nowhere— it also made something flourish in Kakashi’s heart. Something he had thought lost, unreal. A feeling so light that shielded him from his past. He had known that feeling.
It wasn’t new, yet why did it feel like it? Why did it feel like something he knew? Why did it feel so familiar even though he was incapable of remembering? He shook his head.
It’s getting late, I’d better get some sleep, he thought.
--
Soreness.
“Waking up in winter is an underestimated challenge” Naruto muttered to himself. He propped himself up slowly, looking around his shaky room.
Wait, shaky? Why is it shaky? Are we having an earthquake!? Naruto thought, way too worried. Oh, never mind, it’s all in my head, it seems my eyes are just sore, nothing to worry about!
He stood up and walked slowly to the bathroom, taking the shaky apartment far too lightly.
He took a morning bath, the shaky world finally back to normal.
“It smells awesome!” Naruto said, running into the kitchen.
“You always say that” Kakashi answered nonchalantly
“And it’s always true ‘ttebayo!”
“Do you mind checking the food while I go and buy some groceries?” Kakashi requested. Yeah, leaving the stove to Naruto is not a good idea.
“Can I buy the groceries this time?” Naruto asked, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “Please…”
Those puppy eyes were Kakashi’s Achilles’ heel.
“Last time you got lost.” Kakashi said.
“Pleeeeaase…” Naruto’s puppy eyes grew bigger —if that was even possible.
…
“Please..?” Naruto insisted.
…
Naruto was, no doubt, going to be the death of him.
“Fine.”
Naruto’s grin widened.
“But,” Kakashi interrupted.
“But?”
“You have half an hour. If it takes you any longer, I’m going to assume you got lost and come look for you.” Kakashi declared.
“Alright! I’m gonna be back in less than ten minutes, dattebayo!” Naruto punched the air, determined.
Too much energy for the early morning, Kakashi thought with a silent sigh, not really annoyed.
Naruto grabbed Kakashi’s supermarket list alongside a few ryo and left the apartment.
--
Naruto loved exploring the Land of Rivers, especially the market. Everyone was so nice to him; no one treated him like an outcast. He couldn’t remember a single time in Konoha where he had been treated normally —excluding Ichiraku Ramen. Also, it was way cheaper here; the price tags were always right, no sudden changes at the checkout! He loved it here.
The market from the Land of Rivers was small —compared to Konoha’s— but it was so crowded that it made Naruto smile. It was still cold, but bearable in contrast to yesterday.
He walked past the stalls.
“A bag of tomatoes, fish, milk, a dozen of eggs, three heads of garlic, cu-cum-in,” Naruto muttered. “Cumin? What does that even mean?”
Wait! There’s no ramen here! He should have forgotten, I’ve better add it to the list! Kashi will thank me later! he thought.
…
Naruto stopped slowly, an ache sprouting inside him.
…
“Ouch…” he huffed
An acute pain drilled into Naruto’s stomach. The world twirled.
Woah...
He pressed one hand to his abdomen. It wasn’t normal.
It hurt.
He couldn’t focus.
“Hey, kid, is everything alright…?” “…hey!”
His stomach was cracking. It had to be cracking; it felt like it. He was burning from the inside.
“Can you hear me?”
He curled up, breathing heavily, hoping it would end if he just waited...
He could bear it.
He could take it.
He had to. He had always taken care of himself; he had always had to.
They were just stomach cramps. Right?
“Hey!” —
Naruto’s eyes focused. An unknown woman was on her knees right in front of him.
“Hey kid, are you alright? Can you hear my voice?”
“Wha-what?” Naruto huffed, trying to recover his breath.
The lingering pain remained in his abdomen, along with a headache that hadn’t been there before.
“You were curling up in pain, not answering,” the woman said, worried.
“Oh… I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t want to bother you.” Naruto said
“You are just a kid, why wouldn’t I help you?”
I… Why would you? He stopped himself from saying.
The woman scanned Naruto slowly, searching for a sign of pain in him. She only found disorientation.
“Are you buying groceries?” she asked.
Naruto nodded slowly.
“Why don’t I help you?”
Naruto’s eyes widened. Help him? Just like that?
“My name is Skyla” She stood up and offered Naruto a hand.
Naruto was too shocked to give it a thought and accepted Skyla’s hand.
“Do you have a list?” Skyla said gently.
He nodded again and handed her the list.
“Tha… Thank you, Skyla-san,” Naruto muttered.
Skyla smiled softly.
“Nothing to worry about,” she said.
They both searched for the things on the list.
Naruto couldn’t help it; it was way too strange, but at the same time, it felt… nice. It felt nice to… to feel important. Even more, to feel important to a complete stranger.
“Here you go, the last thing left. We didn’t take long, but someone would probably worry about you if we did,” Skyla said.
“Yeah. Thank you, Skyla-san!” Naruto said, his eyes glimmering and a wide grin across his face. He grabbed the last bag, filled with instant ramen packs.
“See you later kid” Skyla said, waving her hand.
He felt way better. Skyla-san was too patient. The ache and disorientation had already been replaced with an indescribable feeling of gratefulness.
He was happy, he didn’t know why, but someone had helped him just because.
He rushed towards the apartment.
Already 29 minutes! Kakashi is gonna freak out! Naruto thought.
--
Kakashi finished breakfast. It had already been 15 minutes.
Thirty minutes was way too long for buying groceries, but he knew Naruto well; it would be strange if Naruto didn’t get distracted. He cleaned up the kitchen and set the table.
At first, it had been hard. Way too hard to believe he deserved love. Way too hard to suppress the creeping fear of ruining it. Of failing. Failing Minato-sensei. Failing Naruto. It had happened to him before —every time he had loved; he had mourned another death.
But this time… this time was different, he believed. Naruto was crawling into Kakashi’s heart like no one had before, far too unaware and innocently. Naruto meant everything to Kakashi.
He couldn’t explain it, but Naruto brightened his life.
--
Twenty-five minutes later, Kakashi was starting to worry.
It is still morning, the light of the day would help me if needed, and I can always summon my ninken to find Naruto, Kakashi thought.
Also, Naruto —even as a child— wasn’t weak. He was awesome at escaping and could be very intelligent when he wanted to be.
Yet, Naruto hadn’t returned.
He knew the boy’s hyperactive energy, but it normally took only ten minutes to buy groceries; they lived very close to the market.
Kakashi was a tranquil person, often nonchalant, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t an overthinker. If there was something he needed to work on, it was definitely it.
He stood up, deciding to go out and find Naruto. He believed in the boy, but he didn’t believe in himself.
He was about to open the door, when it suddenly creaked open.
…
Naruto was panting.
“Am I…” He took a moment, catching his breath. “Am I on time?” he huffed, breathing heavily. He seemed weary; he had unquestionably rushed all the way back.
“One minute late,” Kakashi answered with an eye-smile
“Oh… hehe. — Were you… worried…?” Naruto looked down, guilt creeping in.
“A little, but nothing for you to worry about” Kakashi grabbed some of the grocery bags from the boy’s hands and took them into the kitchen. Naruto followed suit.
“We should start eating breakfast before it gets cold,” Kakashi said.
They both headed to the table to start eating.
“Everything went well at the market?” he asked, curious about what had taken him so long.
Naruto stiffened. Well… He couldn’t tell Kakashi about the intense pain crisis he just had. It wasn’t necessary; he didn’t want him to worry. There was no need to worry about it —he could handle it by himself.
Kakashi is already doing above and beyond for me, he thought.
Also, in the end, everything had turned out awesome! Skyla-san was amazing.
“I met someone!” Naruto said instead. “Her name is Skyla-san!” he continued. “She was awesome, she helped me find everything on the list! I didn’t have to do anything! She helped me just because!” Naruto answered, still mesmerized by such an act of kindness.
Kakashi’s gaze shifted, his eyes softening.
Of course, he thought. Even though we have lived here for about a month it’s still rare for him… being treated like a child… instead of a -—monster.
Sometimes, Kakashi wished he had been braver sooner. He wished he had known Naruto early enough to avoid the boy having such traumas. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t there sooner. And, even if he wanted to go back in time and change the past, he could only be by his side right now, assuring him that he was loved now.
Naruto and Kakashi never talked directly about it, but he did reassure the kid that being the holder of the Kyubi didn’t mean he was some sort of monster.
Kakashi had figured it out on his own.
Naruto never said the villagers hit him; he never said he had no friends; he never said the village hated him. But he did show surprise when he was loved. He did share tiny pieces of his past for Kakashi to complete; he did say things that implied the rest. Yet, Naruto still believed in people.
Kakashi admired that about Naruto; Naruto still opened himself to everyone, even though most of the time he had been hurt. He still had hope. He was willing to get hurt if that meant sharing love.
“Skyla-san, huh...? If I ever meet her, I will thank her, no doubt.” Kakashi answered with an eye-smile.
--
Breakfast went well. But —because it would be strange for things to go normally— Naruto was quieter than usual. He didn’t even finish his breakfast! That was a big deal, considering Naruto and his never-ending appetite.
After cleaning up, they both put away the groceries Naruto had bought.
“Ramen?” Kakashi asked, furrowing his brow while holding up a pack of instant ramen.
“Yeah! You completely forgot to put it on the list, ‘ttebayo. I knew right away it was a mistake!” Naruto said, crossing his arms, a proud grin on his face.
Kakashi hadn’t forgotten; he had just been trying to improve Naruto’s diet.
Kakashi shook his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, thank you,” he said.
…
“What’s on your mind?” Kakashi asked gently.
They had finished storing the groceries. Now, they were both sitting on the opposite extremes of the couch.
“Huh…?” Naruto’s eyes widened.
“You are quieter than usual”
“Oh… That…” Naruto’s eyes went distant. “I… wanted to ask you something…” He looked away, playing with his hands.
“Anything,” Kakashi assured him.
“I… I know Touchan was your sensei. I know his name and existence thanks to you. You… You said he was like a father to you. But I was wondering…” Naruto paused. “I was wondering what he was he like, not as a shinobi… but as… like… family” Naruto looked away.
What if Kakashi wasn’t ready yet? What if the memories are still too hurtful for him to manage? Naruto thought.
Kakashi’s eyes softened.
So that was what he was thinking about… Kakashi thought, a sad smile growing on his face.
Kakashi took his time.
He didn’t know what to say. He knew it was his duty to say something; it was Naruto’s legacy.
“Minato-sensei… Minato-sensei was... Calm” Kakashi admitted.
Naruto tilted his head.
“He was intelligent, that was relevant...” Kakashi exhaled slowly. “But what mattered most was that he was a wave breaker. It didn’t matter how much pain I carried, he was always able to bring peace to me. He was able to shut my thoughts off.” Kakashi looked down, submerging himself in his memories.
“He —your dad— was gentle,” Kakashi continued. “He noticed whether something was wrong and was always there to help. You could count on him. I counted on him. I… I remember one moment clearly. I was heading toward the Irei-hi — the memorial stone. I was trapped… Trapped between my own thoughts. The guilt was eating me alive. I couldn’t stop it…”
…
“So… what happened next?” Naruto asked softly; his whole focus on Kakashi’s words.
“He stayed by my side.” Kakashi took a moment; a small chuckle escaping his mouth. “When I arrived at the Memorial Stone, he was right there. There was no judgment or anger on his face. He… he was just there. He understood me.” He glanced at Naruto. “We didn’t talk; it wasn’t needed. But in the end, he stayed. We were heading back to my apartment when Kushina-san —your mother— arrived.” A genuine smile appeared on his face. “She could brighten everything. She invited me to dinner alongside Minato-sensei. Even though I tried to refuse, your mother was far too stubborn.” Kakashi huffed, slightly amused.
Naruto sniffled.
“In the end, the day turned out well. Your parents made me feel like I was part of something… part of —a family. They managed to lift my sorrow, even when I was at my worst.”
A deep silence followed —a silence for thinking. Kakashi gave Naruto time; time to digest it.
…
“…thank you.” Naruto muttered, looking into Kakashi’s eyes. “I… I—Is it… is it weird if I love them?” He lowered his head. “Is it weird to miss —to love— someone I’ve never known?” He sniffled softly.
Kakashi gently lifted Naruto’s chin. The kid was so confused.
“It isn’t,” Kakashi said, reassuringly. “It means you are an amazing child.”
Naruto rushed to hug Kakashi burying his face in the man’s chest.
Kakashi blinked, then hugged Naruto back. His gaze softened.
…
Time seemed to slow. None of them wanted it to end.
They are proud, Naruto mumbled, too low for Kakashi hear.
“Mh?”
“I know they are proud of you.” Naruto said, his voice muffled against Kakashi’s chest.
“—”
“—”
I… He didn’t know what to answer. He didn’t know he needed to hear that.
Something clicked into place inside Kakashi.
“If Touchan and Kachan were like parents to you… That would make us brothers. Don’t you think Niisan?” Naruto said, his eyes lighting up, waiting… hoping.
…
Niisan. Niisan? I’ve… He really… Kakashi blinked rapidly, trying to suppress his thoughts. He stared at Naruto. Really stared at him. He really believes in me, doesn’t he? Minato-sensei and Kushina-san would be proud… proud of the boy who is lying against my chest, he thought. I don’t know if I’m ready, Minato-sensei. I don’t know if I am capable of giving him what he hopes —what he deserves. But it’s time to let someone into my heart again, isn’t it Kushina-san?
“I guess it does, Otouto.”