Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Categories:
Fandoms:
Relationship:
Characters:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Grief
Stats:
Published:
2026-07-23
Completed:
2026-07-23
Words:
86,114
Chapters:
87/87
Comments:
110
Kudos:
42
Bookmarks:
20
Hits:
3,068

Grief Is A Wound That Never Heals

Summary:

In the aftermath of Willow's ramage through Sunnydale Xander seriously thinks that maybe it's time to stop, because, really - all of his best friends have tried to kill him at some point. You expect it from Angel and Spike, they're vampires, but best friends? To give himself some time to think about it, Xander decides to take some time off work and go on a road trip, inviting Buffy and Dawn along. Buffy opts not to go, someone has to guard the Hellmouth, but she wants Dawn out of Sunnydale for awhile. Along the way Xander keeps running into things pulling him back in and discovers a betrayal that threatens to break him entirely.

Chapter Text

A/N Alrighty, let's get right into another one, it'll save me from rotting my brain with YouTube videos. Before I move onto Supernatural crossovers I have a slew of Charmed plot bunnies and it occurs to me that I can combine several of them into one story. Some of them were hinted at in the Spell and the Key and others were submitted by reviewers. Enjoy.

######

"Stay back, Xander." Willow said, her voice sounding like glass grinding together. "I mean it; I'm not playing around anymore."

"Yeah, I can see that." Xander said, taking another step forward on the dirt path. "The black eyes and the demon temple are kind of a dead giveaway. But you're gonna have to deal with me first."

"You don't want to do this." Willow muttered, raising her hand as black veins crawled up her neck. "I have enough power to turn you to dust before you take another breath; I can scatter you across three different dimensions."

"Probably true." Xander replied, keeping his hands open at his sides to show he had no weapons. "You're real strong right now, Will; nobody's arguing that point. But you remember that yellow crayon back in kindergarten? The one you snapped in half during art class?"

Willow blinked, the black in her eyes flickering for a fraction of a second at the non sequitur. "What? What are you talking about?"

"You cried for twenty minutes straight." Xander said, closing the distance between them until he was just a few feet away from the edge of her power. "You thought Miss Callahan was gonna call the police and send you to jail because you broke a Crayola. I had to sit there and tell you everything was gonna be fine, remember?"

"That was a long time ago, Xander." She hissed, though the black veins receded slightly from her jawline. "People change; things happen. The world is broken and I'm the only one who can fix it by breaking it all the way."

"You aren't fixing anything." He countered softly, looking past his shoulder at the massive stone structure pulled part way out of the ground. "You're just hurting. And I get it, Will; I really do. Tara was...she was good. She was the best of us and she's gone and it isn't fair. None of this is fair."

"Don't say her name." Willow snapped, a bolt of dark energy crackling across her knuckles. "You don't get to say her name."

"I do, because she was my friend too." Xander said, his voice steady despite the magical pressure pushing against his chest. "And she wouldn't want this. You know she wouldn't. She loved people, Willow; she spent all her time trying to heal people, not burn them to cinders."

"She was killed by a coward with a gun." Willow yelled, tears finally spilling over her lashes, turning black as they fell past her cheeks. "In our room! While we were just standing there talking about nothing! There is no balance, Xander; there is no justice unless I make it!"

"You made it happen it on the guy who deserved it." He said, taking another step closer. "Not on the kids at school, not on the people in town and definitely not on yourself. We made a promise, remember? Back in the basement, back when we were kids hiding from the monsters under the bed. We said we'd stick together no matter what happened."

"I broke that promise when I took Giles's magic." She whispered, her haves shaking, he was getting through to her. "I broke a lot of promises today, Xander. I hurt Buffy. I scared Dawn. There's nothing left of me to save."

"There's enough." Xander said, reaching out to grab her wrist before she could pull another spell together. "As long as you're standing here breathing, there's enough. Come on, Will. Let it go. Just let it drop."

"I can't." She sobbed, the dark energy flaring up again as she instinctively lashed out, shoving him backward with a blast of telekinetic force that sent him crashing into a boulder. "I told you to stay back!"

Xander groaned, picking himself up off the dirt and wiping blood from his lip, but he didn't run away. He just stood back up, brushed off his jacket and walked right back into the danger zone.

"Is that the best you got?" He asked, panting slightly. "Because if you're trying to kill me, you're gonna have to try a lot harder than that. And we both know you don't actually want to do it."

"I am a god right now, Xander." Willow cried out, her voice cracking as the immense weight of the magic threatened to tear her apart from the inside. "I can wipe this entire city off the map with a single thought; I can reshape reality so nobody ever has to feel pain again."

"And who's gonna stop the pain for you?" He asked quietly, stepping inside her defenses and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Who's gonna hold you when you finally realize what you've done?"

Willow stiffened, her body rigid with trapped anger and pain ready to incinerate him for touching her.

"Let me go." She choked out, her hands glowing with white-hot heat that scorched the fabric of his sleeves. "You're gonna burn."

"Then I burn." Xander said, holding on tighter and refusing to let go. "We said we'd never abandon each other, remember? I'm not starting today."

The magic roared in her ears, a deafening cacophony of thousands of voices screaming for blood and destruction, but beneath all of it, she heard something else. She heard her own breathing. She felt the warmth of another human being who had known her since they were kids sharing a box of crayons.

"Xander." She whimpered, the black finally draining out of her.

"I got you." H whispered, resting his chin on her head as her knees buckled under the sudden absence of the dark power. "I got you, Will. It's over."

No, it's just begun.