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Language:
English
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Published:
2026-07-24
Updated:
2026-07-24
Words:
1,971
Chapters:
3/?
Kudos:
27
Bookmarks:
5
Hits:
221

Recipe for Disaster

Summary:

I can't exactly say that Kingdom High School is the BEST place on Earthbread to work. But it's certainly entertaining!

 

Come join me, my crew of totally qualified staff, and our unfortunate cast of students as we navigate through the trials and tribulations of the school year! There will be fun, there might be love, and there will most definitely be a whole lot of DRAMA. I excel at digging up the inside scoop in any situation (even if I'm technically not supposed to be there), so I promise there will be no shortage of all three ;)

 

Anyways! I haven't got all day to stand around here and chat- I'm a busy principal, you know- so start reading already! I promise it'll be well worth your time.

 

- TKC

Notes:

Hey all, it's idyll. Some things to know before you jump in:

 

- This is a modern AU with very little magic involved. With the Cookies being Cookies, some magic is necessary to make their existences make sense, but that is not a main part of who they are.
- Characters may be simplified, as they haven't gone through all their canon trauma. However, I try my best to preserve the essence of who they are.
- All I know about the characters featured is from CRK, as I don't play CROB or the other Cookie Run games. No lore or characters from these games will appear here.
- Some characters that aren't related in canon will be related here, just because it brings me joy to have family fluff. You'll figure it out as you read, I guess.
- This fic will have both chatfic and story-style chapters. Chapters may be quite short to prevent formatting issues (which I have already had), but I try my best to provide at least some substance in each one.
- I highly recommend you leave my workskin on- the fic will look much better, and the pictures take up a lot of space if you turn it off.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: i: Here We Go Again!

Chapter Text

Group

hell on earthbread

22 members

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

Renamed group chat to "Kingdom High Staff Group Chat".

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

Added @ananasdragoncookie, @blackpearlcookie, @burningspicecookie and 19 others.

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

hiiiiiii everyone

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

welcome to the school gc :D

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Good morning Timekeeper.

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

Renamed group chat to "hell on earthbread".

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

there thats more like it

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Fire Spirit Cookie. You can't just rename the group chat.

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

and why not

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

This is meant to be a place for professional discussion and collaboration, not casual chatting.

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

i meaaan i like the name... :D

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

SEE

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

EEVN HTE PRINCIPAL IS ON MY SIDE

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

I don't understand how you became a teacher with spelling like that.

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

wait i forgot i made this bc i was supposed to make an announcement

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

hey chat our open house is on aug 28 ok?? be ready :D

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Liked @timekeepercookie's message.

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

YEAAAAHH

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

WHOS READY FOR ANOTHER YEAR OF STRAIGHT SUFFERING

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

Not me

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

I'm not even principal how am I meant to enjoy this

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

ready as ill ever be >:D

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Fire Spirit.

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

what

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Let's be professional.

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

omg guys take it to dms already

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

What?

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

I'm betting @purevanillacookie they get together by the end of the school year

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Excuse me?

@purevanillacookie

@purevanillacookie

I'm sorry, but what is that supposed to mean? Are you betting me like you would currency?

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

yes actually

@purevanillacookie

@purevanillacookie

Oh, I see. Thank you for clearing that up.

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

Bro you're SUPPOSEd to get offended

@purevanillacookie

@purevanillacookie

Goodness, I've received a lot of notifications from this group chat. What have I missed?

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Fighting, mostly. And one announcement from Timekeeper.

@purevanillacookie

@purevanillacookie

Ah, I see. Thank you!

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

oh shit i should proooobably pin that

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

Pinned 1 message.

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

there we go :D

@blackpearlcookie

@blackpearlcookie

OMG YOU GUYS. STOP SPAMMING ME

@blackpearlcookie

@blackpearlcookie

I'M GETTING SO MANY NOTIFICATIOSN

@blackpearlcookie

@blackpearlcookie

YALL NEED TO STFU.

@purevanillacookie

@purevanillacookie

Please, let's not fight. But Black Pearl is right- we are probably disturbing the others by chatting so much. We should stop talking for now.

@burningspicecookie

@burningspicecookie

(Replying to @firespiritcookie)

AT LEAST SUFFERING IS FUN

@burningspicecookie

@burningspicecookie

SCHOOL IS FUCKING BORING

@burningspicecookie

@burningspicecookie

I HATE MY JOB

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

hey better late than never amirite

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

I thought we agreed to stop talking?

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

Tbf we never said anything about that, pv just said we should probably stop

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

And I'm not listening to him btw

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

im betting @windarchercookie that they get tg by the eend of the school yr

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

WHAT

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Fire Spirit Cookie.

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

jeez im joking id never give u to a loser like him

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

WOOWWWWWW

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

I SEE HOW IT IS.

@pitayadragoncookie

@pitayadragoncookie

Reacted 🤣 to @firespiritcookie's message.

@ananasdragoncookie

@ananasdragoncookie

You are all disturbing me.

@ananasdragoncookie

@ananasdragoncookie

I am busy school shopping with Mango Cookie.

@pitayadragoncookie

@pitayadragoncookie

just likee

@pitayadragoncookie

@pitayadragoncookie

mute the group chat

@ananasdragoncookie

@ananasdragoncookie

I am not listening to you, Pitaya Dragon.

@pitayadragoncookie

@pitayadragoncookie

do you not know how to do that?

@ananasdragoncookie

@ananasdragoncookie

SHUT UP.

@timekeepercookie

@timekeepercookie

oookay guys let's not blow up the gc before school even starts!

@windarchercookie

@windarchercookie

Agreed. I would like to live at least one more day.

@burningspicecookie

@burningspicecookie

idk I vote for blowing everyone up

@shadowmilkcookie

@shadowmilkcookie

real

@blackpearlcookie

@blackpearlcookie

Same

@firespiritcookie

@firespiritcookie

see this is why the name is accurate