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THE DAILY PROPHET • 5/3/1994
BREAKTHROUGH TREATMENT OR MEDICAL NEGLIGENCE?
By Rita Skeeter
[Picture of Harry Potter in St Mungo’s Hospital]
Just after Christmas last year, heroes Frank and Alice Longbottom were Obliviated based on the word of a then-unidentified expert in healing. This so-called expert had apparently done three years of research exclusively on this case and hadn’t worked on any other in his entire career as a trained, fully qualified Healer.
HOWEVER, it has come to the attention of this reporter that it was not a fully trained Healer at all, but in fact Harry Potter, whose only claim to fame is being a baby when something mysterious happened.
We reached out to the Healers of St Mungo’s and this is what they said:
“We did not act on the word of a 13-year-old. We extracted the memories and verified they were the cause of the pain. Plus, it worked.”
Yes, readers, it did work, and now Mr and Mrs Longbottom are in St Mungo’s with no memories and no pain. Was the cost worth it? Was the risk? Is the only reason they got away with listening to a child luck? These are the questions we should be asking.
The newspaper article was framed in the Room of Requirement. There was one solitary vial, the first memory extracted by her somewhat obnoxious, overly ambitious husband. Everyone remembered the successes because people did not talk about failures much. Not that it mattered; he was an evil Muggle-born-hating dark wizard after all.
Luna faced a mirror and spoke to her own reflection.
"It's been just over 8 months and I haven't got far in the cure. I have found the cause." Luna waved her wand and the silvery strand turned red and sparked in the air. "Due to the Cruciatus and Legilimency curses being used at the same time, the torture acted like an infection. Couldn't find the answer, get another memory. I have officially confirmed what everyone already suspected. Cadmus Peverell's Pensieve is making it possible to isolate memories into single moments, but to fix them, change them..."
Luna screamed in frustration, extracted the memory, and put it in a vial with the 234 other vials, all of them containing a timeline of ups and downs, of breakthroughs and failures, and now she was back to square one. As she sat on the ground leaning against the Pensieve, her father knocked on the door. "Hi, Dad," Luna said.
"Hi, dear, who am I speaking to today?" he asked, walking in.
"Rowena," Luna said and he gave a nod.
"Coffee then?" He sat next to her and levitated over a cup. She just stared at it and leaned against Xenophilius. "This is important to you, isn't it?" Luna nodded as her father put his arm around her shoulders. She just sipped her coffee. "Neville and Harry are going to the Quidditch World Cup, so is his grandmother."
She shook her head slowly. "No one expects you to fix this in five minutes, Luna."
"Salazar did," she said.
"Salazar cheated," Xenophilius said, and Luna laughed. "Answer already existed, still took him 2 years." They sat there and just felt the ambient magic from the Pensieve.
Luna stood up and dusted herself off. She waved her wand and everything packed away. The Pensieve was teleported back to Dumbledore's office, and she took a breath. "I can't do this tonight. I'll think about it."
"Have you gone to visit them yet?"
Luna had not, and her father gave a nod. "Thought not. Why don't you do that tomorrow after you actually sleep, and either you'll be right back here full of energy, or you can take a longer break."
Luna liked that compromise. Her father always knew how to talk to her.
The Janus Thickey Ward for long-term spell damage was a place that did not have many people. Magic really was effective at damage, but since the war ended 13 years ago, most of the people that were there were either dead or better, with a few notable exceptions. One of the exceptions was Frank and Alice Longbottom. Now, however, they were better. For the first time in years, they were calm, not in pain, and could maintain a conversation.
Today, Neville was explaining Quidditch to them. The topic had not come up yet, but now that they had the basic and important facts of their lives explained, Neville could now talk about his life. He spoke about Hufflepuff, about Hogwarts, about his friends, and now Quidditch. Augusta watched as he demonstrated how the Irish keeper, Barry Ryan, managed to block five shots in 15 seconds by perfecting a flip between that managed to counter a move where the three chasers from the English team aimed for all three hoops to try to get a goal.
"Be careful, Neville. You only want to be a visitor, not a patient." Neville got off the table he was standing on.
"That's wonderful, Neville. You'll have to come back and tell us about it, promise?" Alice asked, and Neville nodded.
"Of course he will. He's been here every Saturday since January," Frank said. It had taken them a while to be able to track time again, but obliviation under medical supervision is more like a scalpel than a sledgehammer, so while the memories the curse touched, all the personal ones, were gone, they still could remember and do the basics, even if they did not remember how to cast spells.
He hugged them and went back, sat back, and let Augusta talk to them. It was a reminder to Luna that life moves on, and she leaned on the wall outside watching them. Salazar and Godric wanted credit, and Salazar got the credit, but while she would like to figure out the memories, this was really good enough, at least for now.
THE DAILY PROPHET • 7/8/1994
BELLATRIX LESTRANGE MISSING
By Rita Skeeter
[Picture of Bellatrix Lestrange in prison clothes laughing maniacally]
In what is becoming a family tradition at this point, the notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange was discovered to have escaped last night when her cell was found empty.
Minister for Magic Rufus Scrimgeour told reporters:
“We are going to do everything in our power to bring her to justice and find her as soon as possible. Aurors will be sent on guard at the Quidditch World Cup regardless, and if she is not found by then, they’ll be doubled. Safety is the Ministry’s number one priority.”
Readers of mine will remember when Sirius Black—the former wanted murderer, now current guardian of Harry Potter—was said to be heading to the school, and instead of helping, Dementors were sent to torture the students. Hopefully, this time the efforts to defend the public will be more effective and less disastrous than disgraced Minister Fudge’s pathetic efforts.
Former defence professor and current Auror Nymphadora Tonks was placed on guard duty with the Longbottoms as they were released from St Mungo’s and sent home. Neville was worried about going to the Quidditch World Cup, but Salazar, Susan and Hermione all said they would make sure he was safe, and while he did not know if they could actually fight Death Eaters—he suspected they could not—it was comforting to have friends be so reassuring, and so he still planned to go.
“You’ll be fine, Neville,” Tonks said as she finished the daily wards around their house.
“Thanks. I mean, she hasn’t been seen for months, so she’s probably just gone into hiding,” Neville said. He did not sound that confident, but the Ministry was sweeping England and Scotland, and after the reason for Sirius escaping came to light, every prisoner was checked to see if they had an Animagus form. Plus, she did not have her real wand anyway, so she either had no wand or a sub-standard one. It would probably be fine. It would be fine. He looked at himself in the mirror, dressed in the Irish team’s colours.
Salazar’s new home was very modest from the outside. Going from mansion to castle to mansion, and now to a small townhouse on an island with twenty people living on it, seemed like a downgrade. But as Rowena stepped inside, it was much more in the mansion size category, with three floors, rooms for days, and a library filled with the non-cursed books from the Black House, where Hermione Granger was reading an ancient tome on runic magic written by Rowena herself and taking a lot of notes about it. Xenophilius Lovegood, Michael and Janet Granger were having tea with them as they were carefully told why it was actually impossible for them to come to watch the Quidditch. They could come to the campgrounds, however, and that would be fine. Apparently, mages had weird rules about the whole secrecy thing.
Neville Longbottom and Augusta arrived around lunchtime. The door swung open and Kreacher greeted them.
“Welcome to the new Black Family home, where tradition is disrespected but people are nicer,” Kreacher declared in a completely neutral tone. He had been ordered not to be rude, and while they were nice to him, especially the Granger girl, he still did not know how he felt about the locket being sold for something as frivolous as this trip. But he was literally ordered not to give his opinion on decisions Sirius or Lupin or Harry made.
Augusta walked right past the elf, while Neville said, “Thank you,” and followed her in.
Despite everything, this seemed like it was going to be a fun trip.