Work Text:
I miss him.
Who, you’re asking?
YOU KNOW GODDAMN WHO.
Yes, I miss Hyacinth. So what?
Can’t I miss him now?
He is my former lover.
My prince.
As I listen to my lyre and the new type of music humans have been brewing, my mind drifts into the thoughts from the bottom of my heart.
Secrets I hold onto because I have no one to tell them to.
Had my heart been in its right mind, I wouldn't be remembering him.
He was a mortal. He had to die one day.
But you could have made him immortal.
It was his destiny.
But he could have lived longer.
Oh, shut up, brain.
Give me a fucking break. Stop bringing your logic when I’m feeling emotions. Shut up for a while.
See? This was what I was talking about.
Each time I finally come up with a rational thought, my brain floods the crop fields before the crops can even grow. Let alone get ready for harvest.
My mind is a wicked being. It tolerates yet it taunts.
Anyhow, let me remember how he felt in my embrace. How I melted when he ran his fingers through my hair. How his lips felt against mine. How he used to be mine.
Let me remember.
Let me fall into the agony of losing him again and again, before I remember how I felt when he was there with me.
I envy those who move on quickly and never remember their once-loved one.
But even though I don't know what to do, I often find myself in deep thought.
What if he has forgotten me? Me– the cause of his death, pain and agony? Has he left me behind? Has he moved on? Does he ever think of me? Does he not love me anymore? Does he have a new lover? Does he even remember that once– he used to have a petty lover like me, who could now beg at his feet, kneel before him, if he came back to me?
Made me feel again? Let me remember what love actually used to feel like? What love actually was?
If he was ever given the chance, would he ever come back to me? Does he remember my love? Would he ever acknowledge me again?
AGHKIRIWIDOLLSMG!
If Hades really doesn't plan to let him go, can't Aphrodite take off the spell Hyacinth has put on me?
Make me forget him?
But..
What if Hyacinth comes back and finds me? What if.. he..
No.
He won't.
He can't.
He..can't.
And it's all because of me.
It is I who led to his destruction, it is I who is responsible for his demise.
It is me.
It is all me.
All faulty.
All guilty.
No one else but me.
But if he..
Even if he is angry with me, I want to let him somehow know that I'll take all responsibility for it. I'll be his servant if that's what he wants.
I'll be.. there.
I'll beg.
I'll do everything as he pleases.
Please.
Come back, Hyacinth.