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“Honey? Lou, I’m here! Come here, darling,” I whisper, gently pulling my girlfriend into an embrace as I sit down on the bed next to her. She doesn’t try to resist my physical advances yet she doesn’t return them either. A quick glance to her eldest brother Chris, who is still standing in the doorway to her room, confirms that she has been this quiet and lethargic ever since she got the news.
It’s the morning of the 7th of July, 2005. The day that changed modern-day London and Britain, but most importantly the life of the Norfolk family, forever.
“Mum, I can get you a taxi. I’ll pay for it, don’t worry. It’s much more comfortable than taking the tube at this time of the day,” Louise almost begs, gently taking her mother’s hand who simply shakes her head. “No sweetheart, that would be a waste of money. I can just as well make use of London’s public transport like everybody else,” Emily smiles, pressing a soft and loving kiss onto her daughter’s cheek.
“Are we still meeting for lunch at 1?,” the older woman asks, slipping into her bright red, 2-inch heels at the same time, and the singer nods. “Yes, we are, Mum. I’ve already reserved a table,” Louise replies, helping her mother into her trench coat. Fully dressed, Emily turns around, gently wiping a strand of hair out of her grown-up daughter’s face. “I’ll see you later then. Don’t work too hard, my dear. I love you!” “I love you, too, Mum,” the younger mumbles tenderly, hugging her mother once more before she leaves the house to catch the southbound Piccadilly Line.
They hadn’t seen each other often due to the band’s busy schedule and each day they were able to spend together was precious to them. If only they had known...
“Louise? Hey, Louise...,” I mumble, worried as suddenly her eyelids flutter close and her body turns limb within my embrace. Patting her cheeks, I look at her pale face, calling her name over and over again. Footsteps behind me announce the arrival of at least two of her brothers in her room and without turning around I simply shout at them to call an ambulance, my eyes never leaving the lifeless features of my girlfriend.
“Louise, please...wake up! Open your eyes, Lou! Stay with me,” I beg, pressing desperate kisses onto her forehead and cheeks. A sharp intake of breath and her eyelids open slightly, her gaze hazy and confused. “Hey,” I whisper, carefully laying her down onto the mattress, my hands resting gently on her cheeks, wiping away the remains of the tears she had shed before they could mix with my own.
As she tries to sit up, I hold her back, gently. “No, stay lying down for a moment, Lou. Do you know where you are or what day it is?,” I ask, nervously. Her hazel eyes are shimmering golden in the faint light of the morning sun pouring into the room through the huge rooflight as she shakes her head slowly. “You’re at home and it’s the 7th of July, darling. Your mother was here to visit you, remember? But there was an accident in the tube, Lou. And...and your Mum was in it,” I breathe, tears filling my eyes again as she stares at me, unbelievingly.
Silent tears roll down her cheeks and still she hasn’t uttered a single word before her eyes fall close again and she turns away from me, pulling her knees up to her chest as if this might protect her from all the pain and grief to come.
“Ms Norfolk had what we call an acute stress disorder which has most likely been triggered by the recent news of her mother’s death. We have given her some medication which will help her to rest better now but if her condition doesn’t change within 24 hours, I’d recommend to have her hospitalised for observation. We could also hospitalise her now but thought it might be better for her to stay with those people she knows best for the moment,” the paramedic explains quietly after they have arrived and treated Louise who is now fast asleep on her big four-poster bed.
“Is there anything we can do?,” I ask quietly, letting my hand run through my curls, worried and grieving. “Just be there for her, talk to her. Don’t push her, try not to overwhelm her with questions or tasks or news. Things have to be taken slowly now. But if you’re ever worried, call a doctor immediately,” he stresses again before they leave the house shortly after, having checked on Lucas as well.
It’s quiet in the house now despite for the muffled, ongoing sound coming from the TV in the living room where Lucas and Lou’s second eldest brother Matt are sitting on the sofa, watching the constant stream of news concerning this morning’s events. Quietly, I enter the room, my socked feet gliding noiselessly over the dark wooden floor. “God Lou, I’m so sorry,” I whisper, helplessly and so full of sorrow. Trying my best as not to disturb her, I lie down next to her under the duvet, her slender frame fitting perfectly against mine as I hug her from behind.
Her breathing is even and relaxed, revealing nothing of the turmoil inside of her head and heart as she sleeps so innocently. I’m not sure she has truly realised what happened and I don’t think I have, either. It will take a while until we all fully understand that Emily is dead. That she won’t invite us over anymore and cook for us and pamper us while secretly - or not so secretly - planning our wedding already, dropping the occasional hint every now and then concerning the colour of Lou’s dress or the number of children we’d like to have.
Gently, I press a kiss onto her hair, her auburn curls forming a stark contrast against the crisp whiteness of the fluffy pillow underneath her head. I breathe in her scent, my hand gently resting on her stomach, heaving in tune with every breath she takes. Closing my eyes, I see her face again; the pale, lifeless mask it had turned into just a little while ago as she lost consciousness for those short but still prominent moments.
“Whatever it takes, I’ll make you whole again, Louise. Whatever it takes, I’ll make sure you’ll be alright,” I whisper into the silence of her room, hoping that one day I will be able to fulfil my oath.