Chapter Text
It was the day of Seijou versing Shiratorizowa, the day after Oikawa had played against Kageyama in an official game. Seijou versing Karasuno was an amazing game. But even they couldn’t make you doubt your best friends skills. You would always find them amazing, and volleyball was no exception. Together, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were unbeatable. With a team like Seijou? Losing seemed impossible. You always had the best hopes for your best friends.
And yet, you three sat in your kitchen, preparing the soup for them. Every now and then you would sneak back at your two best friends. Iwaizumi would grunt away Oikawa’s dumb remarks, and Oikawa would continue to banter Iwaizumi for anything. But you could see their true emotions. Especially in their eyes. The redness in their eyes after they loss was a big reveal. Whenever either of them tried to hide their emotions, together they could fool anyone. Especially Oikawa. Iwaizumi wasn’t one for hiding his emotions as well as Oikawa. But when they both didn’t want to show you they felt weak, it was amazing what a show they could put on.
If you weren’t their best friend since childhood, maybe they could fool you.
“Alright, eat up,” you announced, placing three bowls of the soup on the table.
Once the duo had their bowl placed in front of them, their faces scowled to the display. It looked like regular chicken noodle soup. Yet their faces scrunched up in disgust.
“Uh, ____-chan, I think-”
“____, why does the soup smell like that?”
You scoffed to each of their statements. “Hey, assholes. If you want food, then you can go order pizza. I didn’t have to cook.”
“No, no, it’s okay!” Iwaizumi and Oikawa both responded, shaking their heads and waving their hands like bobble heads. If there’s one thing you’ve learned about these two is they never like to make you mad.
It was hard to hold back a disappointed sigh. “Look, if you don’t want to eat it, don’t. I just wanted to cheer you guys up.”
The two frowned to see your disappointment as they watched you eat the soup. Looking to one another with a shrug, they began eating the soup.
“____-chan, it’s good, I just-Uh, my stomach isn’t feeling good since the match,” Oikawa smiles with a nervous smile. Just then Oikawa held his mouth and stomach, belching.
“T-Toruu! Oh my gosh, just throw it away!” you stuttered as Oikawa inhaled deeply.
Oikawa turned to you with a smile. “I’m good! The soup’s good!”
“H-Hajime, tell him to stop-Hajime?!” you flinched to see Iwaizumi doing the same as Oikawa. He turned to you slowly a bit paler than before.
“Uh, ____, yeah. What Shittykawa said,” Iwaizumi coughed.
“You guys are impossible!” you groaned. You removed all three plates from the table and tossed the poisonous soup into the garbage. You sighed to see the two sigh with relief. “Yeah, yeah. Remind me next time to just buy flowers for you guys when I wanna cheer you two up.”
“Or Auntie can just cook for us next time,” Iwaizumi whispered over to Oikawa. At the sound of your scowl, the two sat straight.
“Speaking of your mom, where’s your parents, ____-chan?” Oikawa asked curiously.
“Oh, my parents are at a wedding for the whole weekend. They should be coming back Monday night,” you replied.
Oikawa and Iwaizumi watched you clean the dishes quietly. The two were too enveloped in their thoughts they didn’t wonder what the other was thinking. It was nice just to picture themselves waking up to this every morning. Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi had thought this since junior high. Obviously too young to think about marriage but old enough to daydream nicely. Even in times of struggle, like after the loss of Shiratorizowa, you were always one solution of happiness for both Iwaizumi and Oikawa.
“You guys are quiet,” you noted as you walked past them. You nodded over to the couch. The two followed as you sat in the middle cushion, turning on the tv. As Iwaizumi and Oikawa took a seat next to you, you looked to both of them. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Nope,” it was expected to hear them say it simultaneously.
They didn’t have to look at you for you to know they were letting their emotions spill. No matter how much Oikawa smiled, you could see the lies in the lines he forced. Iwaizumi decided to force his pout deeper than usual. As if you could believe their acts.
You held your hands up innocently. “Alright, alright. Just know I’m here for you.”
“Just don’t cook for us,” Iwaizumi snickered. As you punched him lightly, all three of you laughed together.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
“Me?” Oikawa winced to have the spotlight on him now. “Why just me?”
Iwaizumi and you frowned simultaneously. People outside your relationship could even tell all three of you have spent a lot of time together to act the same exactly the same time.
“What?!” Oikawa exclaimed.
“You know exactly why we’re giving you this look, Toruu.”
“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Iwaizumi huffed. He grasped the controller from your hand to switch channels as you continued to stare at Oikawa. “You know ____ is going to tickle you if you don’t spill now.”
“He’s right,” Oikawa yelped to your agreement. Seeing you wiggle your fingers, Oikawa trembled.
“She does it out of love, apparently,” Iwaizumi shrugged.
Just as you tickled Oikawa for a second, his one second shriek was enough for him to give in. “Alright, alright! No! Stop!”
“So, are you okay?” you asked with a widening smirk. It was like you were sitting like a cat, smiling with such pride. It made Oikawa pout. He was always such a brat. You had to give Oikawa the attention he didn’t ask for, hold him when he never said to, and would play off his emotions. But he was still your best friend, and you loved him. Feeling a bit guilty for pushing him, you leaned against his shoulder, watching the tv. You just missed the way Oikawa would look down at you with pink cheeks then to Iwaizumi, shocked. He didn’t bother to look. After all these years, Iwaizumi learned best to not mind things he knew he wouldn’t like to see. “Don’t be such a brat. But you don’t have to talk about it now.”
Oikawa couldn’t help to lean against you as well. He was in love with you, and he was selfish with you. Whenever he got the opportunity, he would take it. Even if Iwaizumi was in the same room. Along the lines, Oikawa learned as well that if you don’t see what you don’t like it won’t hurt as much. And he definitely didn’t want to see if Iwaizumi was looking at the two of you.
“Seijou’s a good team. We clean up what needs to be polished, we stay motivated in times where it looks bad. We’re a good team,” Oikawa said. His voice was low, just the mild noise of the tv couldn’t even cover his voice. “We did what we all could.”
“I know. So stop blaming yourself for the loss,” you replied bluntly. Oikawa couldn’t help but look at you and Iwaizumi.
Iwaizumi smiled with a huff, neither you nor him looking to Oikawa. “You really think we wouldn’t know what you’d be thinking?” Iwaizumi met Oikawa’s eyes. “You’re a good captain. Don’t let Ushiwaka get to your head. We’ll get him next time.”
You shifted sides, leaning on Iwaizumi now. You smiled widely at Oikawa, in agreement to Iwaizumi’s statement. Usually it would pain Oikawa to see you lean on Iwaizumi so casually. It felt like whenever you did it to him it was just because. But he couldn’t be saddened by it now. Not when his two best friends were there for him in his darkest times.
“Toruu, you don’t want to hang out with us more? We don’t have school tomorrow,” you asked as you and Iwaizumi stood at the door, watching Oikawa put his shoes on.
“I’m tired, ____-chan. With the match today and my dearest just tried to kill me with some killer food she cooked,” Oikawa replied with a hand on his chest. He was so over dramatic. But it didn’t stop you from lightly punching him with a laugh. It was nice to hear the two of them laugh after today. You would always prefer their laughters over anything. “Wanna head home with me, Iwa-chan?”
“Nah, I’ll help ____ clean up. And cook her food, in case she starves.”
“Hey! I can cook!”
“She’s right, Iwa-chan. Only her stomach can handle her cooking.”
“I’m going to kick both your asses,” you growled as the two snickered.
“Well, see you guys later then,” Oikawa waved.
“Toruu,” you called out. Oikawa tilted his head surprised, but it went away once you threw your arms over his shoulder. He was so tall your feet didn't even touch the ground whenever you did this. “You’re still my favorite captain.”
“Yeah,” Oikawa smiled as he wrapped his arms around you. It got tighter as the match came to mind, Oikawa had to hide his face into the crook of your neck. He was trembling a bit, you could feel it with each second that passed. “Thank you, ____.”
And Oikawa was out.
No matter, win or loss, you always did that to Oikawa. It started back in junior high, when Oikawa first became captain. He truly deserved it. There was no love greater than the one he felt for volleyball. He worked so hard it would end him up in the hospital. Volleyball made you worry about Oikawa a lot, but in the end, it was inevitable to try and stop supporting him. Oikawa playing volleyball would best be described as another wonder of the world. He was graceful and destructive at the same time. It made Oikawa the best captain he could be, thus your favorite. It soon became a ritual between you two, even when he wasn't captain in high school. But you knew. Oikawa would eventually become captain. He’ll always be your favorite captain.
Iwaizumi and you made your way to the kitchen, well Iwaizumi did. He was confused to see you jump onto the couch. When neither of you moved, you looked back at him and rolled your eyes. “C’mon, Hajime. I can clean later. It’s just a pot and some cutting stuff.”
“You might as well do it now,” Iwaizumi voiced, already putting the pot and cutting board into the sink. He began washing the knife, getting lost in the sound of the water.
The water didn't calm him like it did for everyone else. It just reminded him of the roars of the crowd for Shiratorizowa’s win. As he wiped the sud covered sponge over the knife, he caught his eyes in its reflection. It just reminded Iwaizumi of how he looked in the bathroom mirror at the gymnasium where his team and he lost. Hours after the game and Iwaizumi could still feel the regret in his palms.
Iwaizumi’s eyes widened to feel your skin arms find their fit around him. He hadn't even noticed he was staring his hand for whoever knows how long. You leaned against his broad back, your arms bringing your bodies close together.
“I'm fine,” Iwaizumi replied, washing the dishes again. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered hiding his true emotions from you. Iwaizumi learned you would just get it out of him, one way or another.
But Iwaizumi was surprised to not hear a response. It could only mean your response will definitely get something out of him. You were just taking your time to find something that’ll make Iwaizumi start spilling his emotions.
“You’re such a mom,” you laughed. Maybe you weren’t thinking of something to get Iwaizumi to confess how he felt. That only made him laugh half-heartedly. “You’re always taking care of the team, Oikawa, and me. But you’ll never let show when you're hurting.”
Ah, there it is. Iwaizumi could feel your forehead against his back now, placed so softly. You knew he would definitely give in doing that, especially after those words. Iwaizumi knew you didn't have to do much to get the truth out of him. It was you. You made him weak. You made his heart hurt. You made his life more alive.
Iwaizumi finished the dishes and turned, you still wrapping your arms around his waist. You looked up to him, waiting. He could only smile a bit. Iwaizumi would always want this, but he knew he couldn't cross that line. His big calloused hands rubbed your head and he walked over to the couch. It wasn't long until you followed behind and sat down with a pout.
“So?” you asked, bringing your legs over Iwaizumi’s. It wasn’t out the norm, Iwaizumi was used to this. He just didn't think you would lean your head on his arm that rested on the back of the couch.
Iwaizumi wasn’t right in the head, he would take you into his arms just to make himself feel even a little better. The heartbreak he felt because of the loss and the warmth you gave him caused a war in him. He just wanted one side to win already so he didn't have to feel so… Overwhelmed.
“He knows you're just trying to help, but… It's our last year. It’s… It’s hard,” Iwaizumi sighed, bringing his head back against the couch.
It was a surprise to see how tired Iwaizumi looked. Or it was a surprise how long it took you to notice. As Iwaizumi dwelled in his thoughts, you looked carefully at his swollen eyes, the redness underneath. Oikawa had the same look. No matter how much they rubbed at it, no matter how much they would wash away the looks, it didn’t take away the pain they're trying so hard to endure. You wish you could take it away from the both of them.
Iwaizumi looked to you shocked to feel you cupping his cheek. “You guys are good enough. Don’t let this idiot, Ushiwaka guy, get you down. Toruu and you, your volleyball is different. Seijou is going to beat Shiratorizowa and go to Nationals. Okay?”
It took Iwaizumi a second to reply. “Yeah,” Iwaizumi chuckled, bringing his head back onto the couch. “You’re right.”
He wasn’t completely better. His eyes never left you, nor did your hand. A smile emerged from both your faces as you stayed there just a bit longer. But even then, you could tell Iwaizumi still fought within himself, blaming himself more than anyone. It was like he carried all of Seijou’s heartbreak, disappointment, and regret. Him and Oikawa. Vice Captain and Captain, hiding their emotions for the better of the team. You just wanted their pain to end and watch them win. Because you knew they deserved it best. Every game, you watched from the sidelines. It was what you did best because it was all you could do.
You did your best to be your best friends’ support, win or loss.
“Alright, I’m off,” Iwaizumi said as he’s putting on his shoes. Just about an hour ago, Oikawa stood there, with the same forced look. Except Iwaizumi was the only one to notice your pout. Maybe Oikawa did also, but Iwaizumi was the only one to say anything. “What’s bothering you?”
You wanted to find the best words to support Iwaizumi. But you always came short. Still, you settled for what seemed best. “Just because it’s your last year doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance.”
“I know,” Iwaizumi replies with a dry laugh. He smiles at you, so forced. It’s so much nicer than the usual smile Iwaizumi gives you. If you had to choose, you would rather have the other. At least Iwaizumi was being true to his feelings with you. “It just hits harder when it’s your last year. Gets to you kinda, I guess.”
That smile just pissed you off. Not only did he force his feelings with you, it was like Iwaizumi looked at you like a little sister. You hated that.
With a sigh, you took Iwaizumi’s face in your hands. Just standing on two steps above Iwaizumi in the doorway made him taller. But it was easier to grab onto his face. You rubbed your thumb against his cheek, feeling him lean into your touch. It brought a smile onto your face. Even Iwaizumi could seem like a baby. He forced away his disgruntled look with a smile. Except his lips quivered, frustrated. Iwaizumi’s lean deepened as he cupped his hand over yours, a small laugh leaving his mouth. You smiled a bit more, trying to make the situation seem lighter. Anything, just anything to make him feel better. Slowly you brought Iwaizumi’s forehead to your lips. Your lips lingered against his skin, so warm. Your lips were so soft.
It wasn’t the first kiss you’d given Iwaizumi. He’s had plenty of kisses on his cheek from you. Hello kisses. Good luck kisses. Thank you kisses. All those times, Iwaizumi’s heart flutter from embarrassment. Or so he told himself. But he hadn’t admitted aloud that the kisses made his heart flutter because… It’s you. You were enough to make Iwaizumi weak in the knees and find it hard to breathe with just the sight of you. And those kisses on the cheeks weren’t enough. They were “I love you” kisses. But… They weren’t “I’m in love with you” kisses. And oh, how much did Iwaizumi want that kiss now. Iwaizumi just needed that to lift him up. But even if it wasn’t, it still was one of the best kisses he’s gotten from you. It brought you the smile you waited for.
“This would have been better than your food,” Iwaizumi huffed a laugh.
You dropped your hands and rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”
Iwaizumi smiled at you again. You could feel your heart melt to see his genuine feelings. He was in pain, but you were the reason he can smile. Iwaizumi didn’t know what he could do to you. Melt your heart, distract you from the reality of now, wish for things that could break others. It made you wonder if Iwaizumi ever thought about how you affect him.
Just his smile melted your heart, did he not understand that holding your face as he kissed your forehead made your heart cease to exist? There were times your exploded with his lips against yours, other times you had to fight the urge to kiss him back.
As Iwaizumi’s eyes smiled at you with his hand still cupping your face, you swore you saw something in him you had never seen. But what other side of Iwaizumi could you see that you haven't already?
“Thanks… I needed that,” Iwaizumi breathed. He opened his mouth to continue, but hesitated. “I… I needed you.”
God, you don’t know how much I need you.
You shook your head slowly. “Anything for you guys. I love you both.”
“Yeah,” there was that pained smile again. “I love you too.”
It was like time slowed just for Iwaizumi and his mind. He brought his lips to your forehead, and it lingered. Confess to her. As his lips left, he looked at your eyes. They were so happy, and it made his heart hurt. Hold her. Tell her you’re in love with her. Iwaizumi slowly leaned down and brought his lips to your cheeks, letting the seconds pass between you two. Tell me you love me back. Tell me you’re in love with me, please. As he leaned back, Iwaizumi couldn't look at your eyes again. He couldn't look at you. His thoughts were reaching him, and it took every power in him to fight them. He rested his forehead against yours, throwing his thoughts away. Please can I kiss you? Please can you accept my love? Iwaizumi shut his eyes tight, clenching his jaw. Just a breath in between you two, just close the gap. Kiss her.
Slowly, Iwaizumi tasted you. He could have never imagined the craving sensation your lips gave him if your lips were to ever touch. This was what he needed, you were what he needed. Iwaizumi was addicted the second he could feel your lips against his. His heart threw itself against his ribs, screaming when he felt your lips push against his, your body leaning against him. Did you want him?
With just half a second parting lips, a small look into your half lidded eyes, Iwaizumi had to taste you again. He had to have you. Over and over again, Iwaizumi just wanted you. When was he going to taste this again? What was going to be even close to what you tasted like? Iwaizumi was never going to get another chance like this. He kissed your lips over and over again, memorizing your taste. So slow, tender. Iwaizumi wanted so much, to smash his lips against yours, hold you tighter, but this wasn’t supposed to be happening. He wasn't even supposed to be crossing this line, yet he stood on it, hesitating to take another step. Iwaizumi’s kisses were his trembling steps, small, light, soft. His hands grasped deeper into your roots, pushing you against him. It must have been thirteen, twenty times he’s tasted you, and it wasn't enough.
Each time Iwaizumi’s lips left yours, he could see your eyes for half a second. Just maybe… Did you have the same look of desperation for him as he did for you?
Did you even want Iwaizumi?
“Shit,” Iwaizumi blurted, releasing you. He had his hands hover over his hand, his eyes as wide as the sun. “I… Fuck, I’m sorry. Shit, I-I shouldn't-”
“Stay,” you blurted.
Iwaizumi couldn’t even think of a response. Your head was perfectly against the crook of his neck and your hands clamped onto his shoulders. Your voice, feeling the warmth of it against his neck and ear, it was making his inner thoughts eat him.
She wants you to stay. You want to stay.
“____, we… It’s getting-”
“Stay,” you whispered, darting your eyes to look at his. The tips of your noses touched, Iwaizumi could feel his lips departing. He could feel your breath against his moist lips. “Hajime, stay with me.”
Kisses from your lips, hands grabbing onto skin Iwaizumi never thought he’d touch, steps he didn't think he would take while kissing your hot skin over and over again. But his mind was out of control and full of you. So we're your legs and arms, just as Iwaizumi strided his way through the living room, up the stairs, and into your bedroom. You leaned into each other and suddenly the wall was on your back and Iwaizumi smashing himself against you.
He just wanted to memorize this, remember everything in this moment for the rest of his life. No matter where he carried you or kissed, Iwaizumi never wanted to forget. The smell of your skin as he tasted it, the feel of your hands tugging in his hair, the sound of your voice moaning his name with your legs wrapped snugly around you.
Iwaizumi brought you off the wall and carried you to the bed. Your loud breaths erupted, letting each other look into the other’s eyes. How could Iwaizumi keep himself together? You were laying underneath him, with such swollen lips. Iwaizumi did that. You were looking at him with half lidded eyes, no one else. You were breathless because of Iwaizumi. And you wanted him.
Nothing could make Iwaizumi’s mind falter. He was intoxicated with such greed for you. There would never be a better moment to have you all to himself, to selfishly do things he never thought his dreams would come to reality. All Iwaizumi ever wanted was you. And Iwaizumi couldn't control his heart to stop because you wanted him too.
Your spine sunk deeper into the mattress as Iwaizumi cups your face. There was a whole other galaxy in your eyes, something Iwaizumi had never seen in anyone else. Every inch of skin was exposed, the fire that lived within both of you ready to become one.
“Are you sure?” Iwaizumi whispered against your lips, intertwining your fingers. His other hand held his tip against your moist entrance. There was a war inside him, a war of greed and patience.
All you did was nod, your breath shaky. Iwaizumi’s smiling lips were against yours again, pushing his length within you. It hurt. With each inch, your groans deepened, your muscles tightening with ache. You latched yourself to Iwaizumi as he pushed his forehead against yours. Your groans became small screams and tears rolled down your face.
It hurt. It hurt so much, but it was nothing like falling for Iwaizumi. You couldn't understand why you thought of times it was hard to be in love with Iwaizumi. Maybe it was to endure the pain. Thinking of something more painful was always said to help. Iwaizumi pushing his length in slowly into your tight muscles began to ease as you remembered Iwaizumi’s smile when it was to another girl. Another inch felt less painful than the last when you remember Iwaizumi had gotten a confession. Once Iwaizumi was all in, the only pain you could feel was in your chest, remembering the first kiss he ever had was from another girl. All those memories mashed together pained you more than Iwaizumi filling you with himself. You were glad.
You were so happy.
“I…” you panted. Iwaizumi looked down to you, his pants matching yours. It was impossible Iwaizumi could become more attractive. But when he smiled at you, you didn't know what to say. All you could do was grab his face and bring his lips to yours, letting your lips beg for him when your words failed.
It didn't take much more for Iwaizumi to find out what you wanted. He began moving within you, his body electrified from the sounds of your moans against his lips. He almost couldn't control yourself. When Iwaizumi broke the kiss, looking into your eyes reminded him this was both your first times. He didn't want to hurt you. He wanted this to be just as amazing for you as it was for him.
But everything was already amazing about you. Although in this night, Iwaizumi discovered you had a whole level of perfection hidden behind closed doors. The whole night, every different angle he would find you would imprint into his mind. There was a different side he found to love, a different side he wanted to see more of, more sides he wanted to discover. You were even more beautiful with half lidded eyes underneath Iwaizumi, your lips swollen from the kisses he gave you. Iwaizumi’s hands were in new places each time, trying to discover whether you would moan his name louder at this or have him find something better. The hours passed on and Iwaizumi found himself intoxicated with you even more than the last minute.
There was no shame in letting you see these different sides to him as well. Neither of you cared what the other thought, because you both synced perfectly. Each time Iwaizumi exploded himself into you and you would clasp his length tighter with your climax, a minute wouldn't pass without you two finding yourselves wrapped within one another. Iwaizumi wanted to see more of you. He wanted to see what you looked like if he spread your legs while pushing his hips deep into your walls. You screamed his name louder that time. Iwaizumi needed to know if you enjoyed his hands grabbing handful of your glutes while he dug his hips hard into you. You begged for it faster and harder. He wanted nothing than to hear you moan your pleasure more, so he did nothing but oblige. Iwaizumi didn't know what it would be like if you took control of his body. He discovered he liked it best to watch your face in this position. Iwaizumi felt his craving for you intensify when he could see you ride him, with faces he never could imagine.
On the edge of the bed, against the wall, in front of your mirror. There was no end to the different views Iwaizumi wanted to see. And you didn't care, you wanted him to see these sides to you. You wanted him to see your bare back as you arched it for him, letting Iwaizumi know you liked what he was doing. There was nothing Iwaizumi did the entire night you didn't like.
Finally, with sunrise just nearing, you laid atop Iwaizumi, your deep pants matching. Every inch of your skin was covered in sweat and Iwaizumi’s saliva. You felt Iwaizumi’s hands cup your cheek just before he brought his lips to yours. Your bodies shifted to the side, letting him slip out of you as rolled over to lay next to him. Iwaizumi looked at your eyes, his crave for you subsiding a little. Could he still want more?
His hand was warm against your cheek. “Come here,” Iwaizumi whispered. Your body scooted closer for his arm to wrap behind you. He kissed your forehead lightly. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” you nodded. “I’m okay. Don’t worry.”
“Good,” Iwaizumi smiled.
It was so genuine. Iwaizumi was genuine. It made your heart want to explode or hide. Probably both.
It was unbearable to look at him any longer, so you hid your face into his chest, your arms wrapping around Iwaizumi. It seemed he didn't mind as he wrapped his arms tighter around you.
“Hajime,” you called out.
Iwaizumi felt his cheeks become hot. He was embarrassed to be disappointed it wasn't a moan. When did Iwaizumi become so selfish with you? A whole night of you moaning his name filled with pleasure, and the one time you just say his name, Iwaizumi’a disappointed.
“Yeah?”
“You think we can sleep for a bit?” you asked tiredly, a small smile on your face. You had become more tired than expected.
“After all that, I was hoping we would” Iwaizumi silently chuckled. He was starting to get tired too.
“Hajime?” you called out, your sleepy voice making Iwaizumi’s body become hot. He didn't want this to end.
But good things had to end at some point. That's how reality worked.
Iwaizumi’s lips hummed. He shifted his body closer to you, letting this memory engrave into his mind one last time. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I just…” your voice was trailing off. “I… Can we just stay like this?”
“You’re an idiot,” Iwaizumi replied. He kissed the top of your head as he pulled the sheets up to your shoulders. You were already easing your breaths. Your eyes fluttered shut slowly. Just one last time, one last time he’ll get to feel this was seeing this side of you. Iwaizumi placed another kiss to your head before wrapping himself around your sleeping body. “I don't want this to end.”
Morning seeped through your curtains, making your eyelids warm.
Slowly, your eyes fluttered open, meeting the curtains. It took a second for you to realize it was a new day. The man you were in love with was just on the other side of your bed. It felt a little silly to smile to yourself, as if Iwaizumi wouldn’t see something so embarrassing. Eagerly, you turned over, ready to see the sleeping face you were so used to. But this was different. Everything was different now, and you couldn’t have been any happier. You and Iwaizumi shared the same feelings, you could finally express your love without feeling the guilt eat you alive. You were ready to be in love with Iwaizumi with him being in love with you.
Except Iwaizumi was gone.
Your smile disappeared. You held your blanket against your chest as you sat up, seeing if he was anywhere else. If you caught him changing into his clothes, at least he was still here. Iwaizumi wouldn’t have just left. If you saw him come walking through your door, at least you knew he came back to you. Iwaizumi would never leave you after such an amazing night. A few seconds passed when you stared at the door. It never opened. Your head would snap to each side of the room. His backpack, all his clothes, him. They were gone. Your clothes were still scattered across the room, but Iwaizumi’s were missing.
Iwaizumi left.
In disbelief, you checked your phone. No text messages explaining where he went. There was no missing calls or voicemails to say he would be coming back. You jumped from your bed to the desk. No paper with a note of “good morning” or “I’ll be back”. The blanket pooled around your feet as the tears fell from your eyes. It felt like a whole sea of your tears replaced the blanket pooling around your feet after an hour. You hoped within that hour maybe Iwaizumi would just appear, with a sudden explanation.
Iwaizumi left and never came back.
“If you’re in love with me, how can you leave the morning after we had sex?! You can’t tell me you’re in love with me after you left me the next morning after we had sex! Hajime, you don’t do that to someone you’re in love with!”
Iwaizumi’s mind was boggled. He had too many thoughts to say either of them. I am in love with you, for almost my whole life I’ve been in love with you. I promise you, I had a good reason for disappearing. I never wanted to hurt you, I didn’t want to break your heart. Please, don’t leave me alone. Please, don’t hate me. Please, understand. No matter how many times Iwaizumi thought what he was going to say would be good enough, he hesitated. He finally looked at your crying eyes, but why were his eyes in so much pain? They seemed more broken than after Seijou’s last loss against Shiratorizowa. You watch his mouth move, opening and closing, but nothing voicing. Iwaizumi palmed his forehead slowly, his breath hissing through his teeth. It was starting to become difficult to stand, Iwaizumi just wanted to sit down. He just wanted everything to be okay. You, him, and Oikawa.
“Fucking Shittykawa. That fucking idiot is my best friend. And I slept with the girl he’s in love with,” Iwaizumi responded quietly. He didn’t say anything as your eyes widened.
The door you’ve kept locked for years finally clicks open. It doesn’t slowly creak. It unleashes the tsunami of words you never wanted to hear. You shook your head in denial whimpering, begging not to listen.
“Haji, don’t. Please, don’t-”
“____, you can’t keep running away. Shittykawa’s been in love with you, for so long. Hell, longer than me I’m willing to bet,” Iwaizumi scoffed. It was making him frustrated to see you cry. You can’t keep running away anymore. You can’t keep avoiding this.
“Please, Hajime, stop. Just stop,” you begged, shaking your head again.
But he didn’t stop. Iwaizumi’s frustration didn’t stop. “Toruu’s been in love with you. You and I both know that.”
“I didn’t ask! I don’t want to talk-”
“Stop running away!” Iwaizumi bossed. You flinched to hear his voice raise. It ‘s been such a long time since you had heard Iwaizumi raise his voice.
Iwaizumi was usually the composed one in the group. Oikawa and you would lose to your emotions, you losing to them the easiest. Oikawa did a good job of hiding behind his emotions rather than them taking over his actions. Still, Iwaizumi knew best how to calm you both and wake you up to your senses. But when Iwaizumi lost the war against his emotions, it was terrifying. It just meant the reality of the situation was as heavy as it was.
“Running away got us into this mess, we can’t keep doing it!”
“You ran away too, you can’t just pin this all on me!”
Iwaizumi waved his hands frustrated. You weren’t understanding, the point was going over your head. He wanted everything to be okay. Iwaizumi wanted you two to be okay, he wanted all three of you to be okay. This conversation wasn’t leading to the better end he wanted.
“I’m telling you, you and I both can’t run away anymore! That’s why we’re having this talk! I’m trying to own up to my mistakes! I’m sorry! I ran away that day because I fucked up! I slept with the girl I'm in love with, who just so happens to be the same girl my best friend is in love with! The idiot may be a pain the ass, but he's still my best friend! And I did the most fucked up shit to him!”
This had to get fixed. Iwaizumi had to fix things with you, with Oikawa. Before everything was past that point and into the point of not fixing everything. Iwaizumi couldn’t have that. Not with anyone, especially you two.
“So, what?! Your plan was just to avoid me until everything went back to normal?!” you spat.
It was true. Iwaizumi avoided you until things seemed normal. The day you woke up without him, you tried contacting him. He never replied. He wasn’t home or at Oikawa’s. It felt a little bittersweet to hear Iwaizumi wasn’t with Oikawa.
“Huh? Iwa-chan’s not here,” Oikawa responded on the other end of the line.
“Oh, okay,” you replied, hoping your disappointment wasn’t too obvious. “I tried giving him back his jacket, but he wasn’t home. And he’s not answering. So I thought you guys were together.”
“Mmm, Iwa-chan might be out with Auntie. Either way, you could just give it to him tomorrow, ____-chan,” Oikawa chimed. It hurt. It hurt to hear him so happy. He was so happy and you were breaking into little pieces. Oikawa didn’t know, and you wanted to tell him everything.
What you needed right now was your best friend. Yet… It felt like gravity was pulling you back.
“Y-You’re right,” you decided against it. But you couldn’t be alone either. Not with your mind going crazy. Why did Iwaizumi leave? “Do you want to hang out today?”
“Ah,” Oikawa hesitated. “I actually promised Satsuki-san I’d help her with chemistry today.”
Of course he was going to see some girl. “Toruu, you’re horrible at science.”
“Well, it seems she likes the chemistry we have more than the textbooks have in store for us,” Oikawa chimed.
You rolled your eyes. It was better than letting Oikawa hear you whimper. You fought so hard not to let the shatter in your heart falter your appearance. If Oikawa heard, he’d drop everything to be by your side. But how could you tell him? “Fine, whatever Toruu. Have fun on your date.”
When you did see Iwaizumi at school, just a second of eye contact he would walk away. You tried texting him several times, maybe then he would respond. No matter what you said, he wouldn’t respond.
You would try to be casual about it. Haji, you don’t have to avoid me.
You tried to be nice about it. Please, can we just talk? I promise I’m not mad. Just stop avoiding me, okay?
You tried to be funny about it. If I was that bad at it, you didn’t have to keep going (⌍་д་⌌)
No response from Iwaizumi.
His mission took to high extremes. Suddenly meeting eye contact with you or even being in the same hallway would result in Iwaizumi practically darting away. The time you three would be at lunch, Iwaizumi insisted he had to help Matsukawa and Hanamaki with their studies. You began to worry he had told them about that night, but when you would bump into them, they would complain about the study sessions Iwaizumi would hold for them. Either they were really good actors or destiny had timed their failures perfectly for Iwaizumi to avoid you.
Even Oikawa began to worry.
“Did you tell Iwa-chan something that I said to him?” Oikawa pouted.
“What, no,” you scoffed. “He’s been avoiding me too, Toruu. If I told him you said anything bad about him, which when have you said something bad about Hajime? But if I did tell him you said something bad, he would just confront you about it. You know how he is. He’s… He’s avoiding us for something else.”
Of course, you knew what that something was. It happened almost a week and a half ago.
Oikawa’s lips hummed as you ate your bento box. “Did you two get into a fight?”
“No,” you don’t know what this is you and Iwaizumi were having. A heavy sigh left your mouth. “I tried going to his house to see if he wanted to talk. Auntie just said he was already asleep. I even tried waiting for him at the house, sometimes he would never come home.”
“Wow, ____-chan, it feels like you guys got into a fight. You’re really worried about him,” Oikawa pestered.
“Well… He’s avoiding the both of us. I don’t like it,” you replied quietly. You brushed your hair out your face, remembering the way it felt when Iwaizumi did the same when he hovered over you. It hurt to remember such an unforgettable moment. “How is he at practice?”
“He acts the same. Like he never avoids me. He still bosses me around and stuff, but when it comes to walking home, he’s quiet. When we’re at school, he avoids me. Whenever I call him or text him, he’ll only respond when it’s about the team! Really, just how inconsiderate of Iwa-chan to avoid me for no reason. And you, of course.”
At first, Oikawa crossed his arms all annoyed, his feelings pouring out of him. He was so loud. But as he looked to you, expecting you to be the same. Oikawa saw the sadness in your eyes. You were glad he didn’t mention it though.
“We’ll figure it out. Soon. Maybe… Maybe he’s just in some rut. Don’t worry too much, okay ____-chan?”
If I wasn’t losing my mind over this, I would worry less.
Your laugh was sarcastic, Iwaizumi knew you were angry. “I’m fucking surprised we even got back to being best friends, Hajime!”
It was frustrating. It was so frustrating everything was spiraling in Iwaizumi’s life. He fucked up with you, he can't even tell you properly that he’s in love without you having trouble believing him. He fucked up his friendship with his other best friend. It was even a miracle Oikawa and Iwaizumi could function fluently as Captain and Vice Captain. But the price of love for volleyball versus each other clearly powered over the other. Iwaizumi just wanted this all fixed, letting everything out.
Iwaizumi turned, holding his head frustrated. He couldn't look at you be so mad at him. How could he comfort you when he was the source of all your problems?
“Hajime! Listen to me!”
I can’t. I can’t think. I need to fix this but I can’t.
“Hajime, you, you can’t just tell me Toruu’s in love with me! And not expect me to get like this!”
Yes, yes I can. Because he was so in love with you and it was so obvious. We could have avoided this years ago if we all just confessed. Why were we so scared to tell our feelings?
“I can’t fix this when I broke us all!”
You didn’t do anything. You couldn't handle everything alone. I left you alone to suffer. It's my fault.
"Hajime, how are we supposed to fix this in time for graduation?! You know, I would still like to see my best friends play volleyball together!"
“I’m not going to the same university as Toruu!”
It's finally quiet. It's finally quiet and Iwaizumi nor you can get a thought in. Iwaizumi faced you but he couldn't look at your eyes. He was done breaking you. He couldn't handle how your eyes looked so broken hearted because of all his fuck ups.
His chest burns. The truth doesn't make him feel any better, just selfish. Your knees were shaking ever since Iwaizumi yelled. It was a surprise they took this long to give out. Iwaizumi couldn't run to you, he didn't want to comfort you. Because he knew you wouldn't want him touching right now. You needed to process this. You needed to process what reality had become.
I’m breaking her again. We both are, Shittykawa.
Iwaizumi slowly walks over to you and kneels before you. He holds his hand out, he doesn't waver when you slowly look at his hand, as if it wasn’t real. Because none of this was real. It wasn’t supposed to be real.
“C’mon,” Iwaizumi’s voice was raspy and a bit quiet. “____, let’s-”
“How can you just… How can you just keep throwing this all at me?!” you yelled. Even as you covered your ears, the ringing still burned. Even as you shut your eyes tight, the world still burned in front of you.
You flinched at Iwaizumi’s hand bringing you into his chest. It was light. “C’mon.”
You nodded and took Iwaizumi’s hand as you both stood up. It was hard to stand. Your body hadn’t stopped shaking. Iwaizumi couldn't blame you. You both sat on the bed facing each other. But you couldn't look at Iwaizumi. Your world was spinning out of control.
His hands cupped yours and rubbed his thumbs against your skin. There were a few tears falling into both your hands. Slowly, both your eyes found each other, and it broke your heart (you were surprised it was still there) to see Iwaizumi force a smile.
“You ready?” Iwaizumi asked. His tears stopped.
You shrugged.
Iwaizumi coughed a small laugh. “Me too. But… We have to do this.”
You nodded, wrapping what leftover tape you had over the pieces of your heart. You knew you needed whatever strength left to hear this.
“I’m in love with you, ____,” You didn't even know why you were holding back your tears at this point. You didn't even know why you tried to keep your heart together anymore. “I didn’t really know it then, but I liked you since I met you. It wasn’t really obvious. I was a kid, I just thought I was really curious about you. I didn't realize I was in love with you until I saw how Toruu looked at you.”
Iwaizumi smiled at the floor. It was unbelievable how much nostalgia was hitting him right now.
“He looked at you like you were the only thing that ever mattered, even when he was talking to some other girl. It sucks to say, but even when he got a girlfriend, I knew it wouldn't last. I knew that's how much he loved you. He just wanted you, I don't even know why he bothers with girls nowadays. Well,” Iwaizumi scoffs. “I do.”
His hands were soft. They were calloused but soft. It was the only thing keeping your heart together. You gave up.
“I didn't know I was in love with you until you got your boyfriend. That Ashitaka guy? He was nice. Tried to kiss mine and Toruu’s ass too much though. But I know he meant good.
“Didn't mean I didn't hate him for getting to be your boyfriend. I didn't really know what to do. You were so happy with the guy, but I loved you too much to watch you be happy with him. Then I saw how Toruu reacted. It was like the whole thing didn't phase him, even though I knew you were his hole damn heart.
“Then one day he found me putting away the volleyball carts after a game. You and Ashitaka said hi to us. I just wanted to run away. Well, I wanted to punch the guy cus he was holding your hand in front of me.
“I just kept thinking, I thought I was over this. I thought I could handle this. I thought I was done being in love with ____.
“I didn’t even realize I went from loving you to being in love with you until I thought the words out of anger. Once I figured my own feelings, I had no doubt it was the same for Toruu.”
Iwaizumi’s smile was concrete. Iwaizumi wiped away a tear and held your cheek. He hadn't done that since you two slept together. You were melting into him, even while you let more tears fall. Maybe Iwaizumi was melting too, because his smile was easing. He was showing his pain through his smile.
“I figured you knew how me and Toruu felt too. Maybe not that exact time, but around that time,” Iwaizumi said. He frowned as you shook your head immediately. “You can’t run anymore, remember? We’re past that line now, ____.”
Iwaizumi sighed, as if to recollect his mind, body, and spirit. You mentally agreed. With everything going on and your existence wavering, you were exhausted.
“We all never said anything, despite knowing the truth. Toruu and I knew the other was in love with you and we knew you knew. But I guess we all had the same rule. We can’t break what we have unless we try. We were all scared to make the friendship end that we never talked about it.”
You grabbed Iwaizumi’s shaking hand, intertwining your fingers. You forced a smile as his eyes widened. Both your worlds were shattering. Your friendship with both your best friends were tainted. Iwaizumi and Oikawa weren’t attending college together like they planned. All three of you would be going to different universities, assumingly far from each other. All three of you were falling apart and needed each other.
“I could deal with not talking about it for awhile,” Iwaizumi admitted and shrugged. “Shittykawa and you were my best friends. I didn’t want anything changing that. I thought it would last forever, hell it felt like it after knowing each other for so long. But I was stupid to think things would stay okay forever.”
“Me too,” you agreed.
“All three of us were stupid,” Iwaizumi scoffed. “Even though I thought I was fine with not breaking us all apart, being in love with you was hard alone. I saw the way you looked at Toruu. And you would give me the same look. It felt unfair. Because I knew you loved us, but I didn’t know which one of us you were in love with. It was selfish to want to know, but…” He took his hand from yours and entangled it into your hair. How long had you two been talking? How long had you two been crying? How much longer was this going to go on for? You missed Oikawa. You missed seeing Oikawa and Iwaizumi banter. You missed the three of you together. “I’m selfish with you. And Toruu’s my best friend. I never wanted to break your heart or betray him. But it was hard to be selfish with either of you. I had been thinking of going to a different since we started our second year.”
“For that long? You kept that from us for that long?! Hajime, you were basically lying to us! Especially Toruu! You two talked about going to the same university and getting ready to play volleyball together in college! Hajime, how could you do that?!”
“I told you, ____! It was hard being so selfish! I couldn't be in love with you and keep my promise for Toruu! I just… I had to stay away from you guys for awhile!”
Your feet met the ground and you were suddenly a couple feet away from the bed. Iwaizumi’s eyes were focused on you, even though you felt your heart burst.
“You were… You were just going to get up and leave us behind?” Iwaizumi turned away. You shook your head in disbelief. “We have been best friends since we were five. And… You were just going to leave me and Toruu alone? Why?!”
“Haven’t you been listening?!” Now Iwaizumi was on his feet. “I’m too in love with you to keep my promise. But I can’t be the reason Toruu can’t keep it together. This was the only way I could think of! I just needed time to myself, away from you two to be able to keep us all okay!”
Iwaizumi grabbed your shoulders, angrily. You winced to his firming grasp, but then you could see. The guilt in his eyes were more alive than ever. “But I didn’t keep any of my promises! I betrayed Toruu and I broke your heart, all because I was selfish! I wasn’t in a good place, and I let my selfishness take over my head. I fucked up! ____, I fucked up and can’t stand that I fucked us all up! That’s why I chose another university! I can’t go to the same university with Toruu and see him everyday after this! He’s broken, and he’s only broken because I’m in love with you!”
Exhausted and frustrated, Iwaizumi yelled. It shook your body when Iwaizumi let go and slammed his upper body atop your bed. His knees shook as they lay in your floor, Iwaizumi yelling close to your sheets. You ran to his side, holding him close.
“Hajime, stop, stop!”
“I can’t! I can’t keep living like this! I can’t be with you guys when all I know is that I’m the reason I can’t play volleyball with Toruu! I can’t keep seeing you when I’m fucked in the head, all because I don’t know if you’re in love with me or Toruu, even when I slept with you! And I don’t want to know, because it won’t fix things with Toruu! I can’t keep acting like everything's okay when it’s not!”
Iwaizumi launched his arms around you. He even felt guilty about this. He was complaining about everything but still clung onto you like you were going to magically fix everything he’s shattered.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you. I shouldn’t have kissed you with my mind all fucked up like that, but I couldn’t help it. I just-”
“You did it because you’re in love with me,” you whispered. Even if Iwaizumi groaned and cried his words, you understood everything now. You couldn’t run away anymore. You had been running away for so long, and it not only wore you down, but it broke everyone else around you. You selfishness was breaking your best friends.
You take Iwaizumi and bring him to the edge of the bed. He looks at you, tired and defeated. It doesn’t phase him anymore how much you’re crying, desperate for everything to be fixed. He was the cause of this, and it was his punishment to see you cry your broken heart out. Because he was the reason you were broken in the first place.
“____, I just-”
“Hajime, I asked you to stay,” you interjected. Iwaizumi hadn’t even realized he was already sitting on the bed with you. You were prepared to say it all, yet your throat was getting smaller. But with each cry, it was getting harder to speak. But you had to say this. Even if someone set you on fire, you still had to tell Iwaizumi everything. Him and Oikawa. “I broke Toruu before you could even try to, because I asked you to stay. I wanted you to stay, so don’t think-”
“I shouldn’t have though. I didn’t have to, but I did! I could have walked away, and just kept on pretending! But I did stay and that’s why I chose to go to another university. I can’t keep doing this and I don’t want to break either of you anymore!”
“You said to stop running away!”
“I already got accepted into the university! I’m going to be a student! Even if this is all fixed-”
“There’s going to be a way, Hajime!” You shook your head, the tears flying. Your body fell to Iwaizumi’s, your forehead in the crook of his neck. He couldn’t be separated from your best friend. You held onto Iwaizumi, because he was going to disappear from your eyes. “You’re just going to talk to Toruu! The idiot might be mad at us, but we’ll just talk to him! We’ll tell him everything. Once you confess, you two will apologize! Especially after he hears you’re not even going to the same university as him! Hajime, you and I both know how much he is going to be devastated! He’s not the same volleyball player if he’s not playing on the same court as you! Hajime, we’ll just-”
“____, you can’t tell me to calm down so you can start freaking out!” Iwaizumi tried to shake you off, so he could help you breathe. But you were drowning in this mess. Your throat was getting slimmer from all the suffocation, but you had to tell him everything just like Iwaizumi told you everything. And then Oikawa would be next. Everything was going to be okay, it had to be.
“Toruu might be mad at us now but that doesn't change the fact we're all best friends! Hajime, you're just as much of Toruu as he is you, especially on the court! We can fix this, we can fix all of us, and-and-”
“____, breathe! Calm down!”
“I can’t calm down because I’m just as guilty for all of this being my fault!”
“No, you’re not! I-”
“I’m in love with you, Hajime! And if I would have just told you both that from the beginning, then none of this would have happened!”
Breathe. You can finally breathe. Even though cries were echoing in the room, even though Iwaizumi finally felt the noise in his brain stop, you had to breathe. His eyes stared at you, as if had turned into someone else. His eyes cried for a different reason. Iwaizumi must be thinking he was selfish to be crying tears of relief after everything.
“You’re…”
“Yeah, I am in love with you, Hajime,” but you couldn’t stop your tears.
Iwaizumi’s body was just moving on auto pilot, hearing the words replay in his head over and over again. He wrapped his arms around you. Even when you did the same, he knew his heart was happy. But he was in disbelief. How could… Iwaizumi laughed to himself, frustrated and stupidly. How could he be so freaking happy right now?
“It was always you. And you were right. I did know both of you were in love with me, and it scared me. That meant I had to choose one over the other. And that meant I was going to lose the one I didn’t choose. But… But I couldn’t lose Toruu, either. I wanted all of us together, so I chose not to choose at all.”
You rubbed your face into Iwaizumi’s neck. You were warm. And he wanted to keep this warmth forever. He held onto your head, holding you closer, hoping your warmth wouldn’t slip out his fingers.
“But you’re right. I was stupid to think we all could keep this going. It was just a bomb waiting to go off. And I set it off, because I was selfish. I wanted you to keep kissing me that night. And when we finally kissed… It was like there was no stopping me from being in love with you. It just got bigger and harder for me to ignore it once you kissed me. I had to ask you to stay, or else I would have never gotten another chance to kiss you again.”
You smiled into Iwaizumi’s neck. It tickled a bit, but it felt nice. You were in love with him. After all these years of constant worry, always putting himself second best to Oikawa for you, and looking the other way when you got a boyfriend, you were in love with Iwaizumi.
But you were right. Now that you chose Iwaizumi, what about Oikawa?
“But then the days went on, and even though we fixed our awkward situation, we never talked about what happened that night. We never talked about that night. So I had to question it, were you even in love with me? Or was I just something to use to get over your loss against Shiratorizowa? I couldn’t even think about being in love with you, because then I didn’t want to think you could break my heart. I didn’t want to admit my heart was even broken because of you. Before I knew it, it was broken because of you. And I couldn’t even tell you because we just got back to being… Normal.
“So… I guess I just let it eat me. I didn’t want to get left behind again, but I didn’t know who to turn to. It just kept eating me because I would look at you and just question everything. I would always support you and Toruu at the games and just think ‘If they lose this game will Hajime do that again?’. And then it hit me. Toruu.”
You looked at Iwaizumi, frowning as deep as you could. He had to know. He had to know how much you felt so guilty for keeping this all from him. He had to know you felt so guilty from not telling Oikawa. He had to know that everything was eating you alive and all you’ve known is guilt since that day.
“I knew you and Toruu were in love with me. And yet, even when I did choose you, I didn’t tell Toruu. He just kept on smiling, not knowing what I had done. That’s why I told him. I felt so damn guilty for not telling him I finally chose you, that I had to tell him. I’m… I’m just so done. I had to tell him and I had to tell you how I felt. I just-”
“Don’t say anything, I get it,”Iwaizumi interjected.
You shook your head. “No, Haji. You don’t. I’ve felt so guilty, even before we slept together.”
“How… How long?” he asked. Iwaizumi wasn’t certain if he was suppose to be afraid or concerned. Just how long had this been eating you up?
“Since I figured out you two were in love with me,” you held your face, letting your hands catch your tears. And with each tear, your guilt erupted. “I tried fall in love with Toruu, because I knew he was so in love with me. And I’m not saying he was more in love with me than you. But… How could I be in love with a man that I met second? Shouldn’t I be in love with Toruu? I met him first, love him, everything! He was my first friend! And yet…”
Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around you again. How many times was he going to do this before he actually felt like he was allowed to be happy?
“I couldn’t do it. I won’t do that to my best friend. I won’t pity him because he deserves better. And no matter how much it would hurt him, I swore I wouldn’t cheat my feelings for you. Because… You come along, and… I'm just so in love with you. I'm in love with you Hajime. And I love Toruu. And I wanted that rule to be just because I love you both and want to have you both forever or as long as I live but I'm in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life married to you and have Toruu with us because he's our best friend! I don’t want to lose either of you!”
His arms wrapped around you tighter, just as both your cries became louder. He wouldn’t be allowed to be happy for awhile, not until his was fixed. Because it was obvious. As much as you two were in love with each other, Oikawa Toruu was just as much a part of both you as you two were apart of him. Iwaizumi and you couldn’t live without Oikawa Toruu, nor would either of you allow it.