Chapter Text
A cold gust of wind sends a shiver down my spine.
I pull my scarf higher until it hides half my face.
My nose must be bright red by now...
I force myself to lift my head, my hands buried deep in my coat pockets.
I clench my jaw to stop my teeth from chattering.
Fifteen more minutes...
At least it isn't raining !
Still, it's so cold I'm convinced that if I open my eyes too wide, they'll freeze open.
Five minutes.
Funny how quickly time passes when your mind wanders to the silliest things...
Oh.
There he is.
Every muscle in my body tenses, and I immediately drop my gaze to my shoes.
I know he's running.
He always does.
Every Thursday, at exactly 9:55 p.m., he runs.
I watch him from the corner of my eye.
The wind tosses his messy red hair in every direction. His coat is still hanging open, flapping behind him, while his briefcase swings wildly from one hand, looking ready to burst open at any second.
Underneath, he's wearing nothing but a crisp white shirt.
Honestly... does he never get cold?
At this rate, he's going to catch pneumonia, sprinting around dressed like that.
I clench my fists inside my pockets.
Honestly... that man.
He gets closer.
And once again, my shoes suddenly become fascinating.
He walks past me, and I close my eyes.
His scent still makes my head spin.
Yes...
I know.
It's completely pathetic.
But I wait here for fifteen minutes every Thursday... just for this.
I open my eyes again and glance around, my cheeks warming despite the cold.
Good.
No one saw me.
I steal another look at him.
Finally, he rubs his arms and hurriedly buttons up his coat with a grimace.
I smile to myself.
At least he won't get sick !
I blow warm air into my hands, trying to thaw my frozen fingers.
Now that I can see him...
I don't feel quite so cold anymore.
His cheeks are still flushed from the run.
Just a few more minutes, and I know the train will pull into the station.
Every Thursday, he stops by the little café across from the station.
He always gets there before I do.
That's why I never go inside... and end up freezing out here instead.
No.
That's not true.
I've actually gone in twice.
***
The first time was on a Thursday in November, and it was just as cold as it is today...
I'd only just started my internship, and my first day had been exhausting.
Tired, I made my way towards the platform when I spotted a little café.
I could already picture myself inside, warm and comfortable, watching people hurry past outside while sipping a delicious hot chocolate as I waited for my train...
I pushed open the door and stepped inside.
I was celebrating a small victory : I'd survived my first day!
To my surprise, they'd hired me despite my lack of experience.
As usual, my eyes wandered around the room...
And that's when I saw him for the first time.
He looked completely lost in thought, staring out through the large window overlooking the station.
Every now and then, he'd run a large hand through his hair...
It looked so soft...
A quiet clearing of someone's throat made me turn my head.
The waiter was looking at me with a knowing smile.
"Ready to order?"
Only then did I realise my hand was still hanging in the air to get his attention... and that I'd been standing there with my mouth slightly open.
"Y-Yes... of course."
Heat rushed to my cheeks.
The waiter, meanwhile, didn't even try to hide his amusement.
In my desperate attempt to sit down and disappear from the face of the Earth, I pulled a chair towards me.
Much too hard.
A second later, I was on the floor... with the chair on top of me.
Please...
Please let the ground swallow me whole.
Please... please... please...
The ground stubbornly refused to cooperate.
Only the waiter's laughter answered my plea.
Still smiling, he held out a hand and helped me back to my feet.
Mortified, I pointed at the first thing I saw on the menu.
Another amused smile crossed his face, but he didn't say a word.
Of course...
I'd have laughed too if I'd realised what I'd just ordered : a gigantic glass of warm milk.
Transparent.
I closed my eyes, my purse still open in front of me, trying to recover from the embarrassment threatening to drown me.
Summoning what little dignity I had left, I held out the money.
He simply winked and shook his head.
I sighed.
Well... at least one of us was enjoying this.
My eyes were drawn to the reflection in the window.
The broad shoulders of the tall redhead were shaking...
He was covering his mouth with one hand.
He was laughing.
My cheeks grew even warmer, and I took tiny sips of my drink.
Caught somewhere between being proud of myself... and wanting the ground to swallow me whole.
"Hey, Weasley! Miss your train today?" the waiter called out across the café.
Lost in my thoughts, I found myself wondering who he was talking to... until I saw my Adonis open his mouth in the reflection.
"I'm waiting for Gin..."
His voice was deep... the kind that sends shivers down your spine.
"Thought she was finishing later today?"
"I think so..." he sighed, sounding impatient.
Who was "Gin"?
A woman, obviously...
Lost in my thoughts, I glanced at my watch.
Twenty minutes to go...
The little café was almost empty now.
Only three or four customers remained.
Ten minutes...
A phone started ringing.
"Weasley" answered immediately, sounding visibly relieved.
"Gin! Where are you?!"
A few seconds passed before he replied, irritation creeping into his voice.
"What?! But I waited for the last train just to see you!"
That was awfully sweet of him…
"Oh, come on... that's no excuse... honestly... may he be cursed..." he grumbled, though the corners of his mouth were already beginning to lift.
"All right... next time then. Have fun... Yeah, love you too."
He laughed softly before hanging up.
He looked up... and our eyes met in the reflection of the window.
I immediately dropped my gaze to my watch.
The last train!
I jumped to my feet, snatched up my things and, without even bothering to zip up my coat, bolted for the door.
Our eyes met one last time.
He looked completely bewildered... until he glanced at his watch.
I just managed to hear a disbelieving "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" before the door swung shut behind me.
I burst out laughing as I ran for the platform.
I couldn't seem to stop, which did absolutely nothing for my already ragged breathing.
The train was already waiting at the platform when I got there.
I knew he'd only have time to jump into the last carriage.
Which was precisely why (coward that I was) I ran for one in the middle…
The moment I stepped aboard, I pressed my hands and cheek against the window to look for him.
It was the first time I'd seen him run.
He was laughing as he dodged people on the platform before slipping through the doors just as the warning chime sounded.
Even from the other end of the train, I could almost hear him laughing.
I smiled.
I was hopelessly gone.
But I didn't truly admit it to myself until I saw him again the following Thursday.
I'd worn my prettiest skirt.
The one that had once earned me a compliment from a man...
The only one I'd ever received, actually.
From my dad…
I'd hesitated for a long time.
I stood outside the café for several minutes before the waiter opened the door for me, wearing his usual teasing smile.
Blushing, I stepped inside and immediately looked around for the redhead.
It was his laugh that gave him away.
He was sitting in the corner of the café with a beautiful woman.
She had long auburn hair that curled softly at the ends.
Her face was gentle, yet there was a quiet confidence about her...
The kind of woman who would never let anyone walk all over her.
Someone who knew exactly who she was…
He looked at her with so much love as he held her hand.
They laughed together, sharing little secrets.
He was so gentle with her…
He'd ruffle her hair, squeeze her hand, or pull her into one of his big hugs.
And she matched his affection effortlessly.
Sometimes she'd stroke his cheek before giving it a playful pinch.
Other times she'd stick out her tongue at him before laughing at one of his jokes.
Absent-mindedly, I reached for my chair and sat down.
That's when I noticed it.
A beautiful ring glittering on her finger.
For reasons I couldn't explain, a smile found its way onto my lips... even as my heart tightened.
I was sure she’d made him happy. I just knew it…
I didn't say a word when the waiter set a glass of warm milk down in front of me.
Ten minutes later, I quietly slipped out of the café.
I walked all the way to the first carriage.
Surely he'd be running late again...
After that day, I never went back into the café.
Instead, I waited here... on the platform.
It only took a few Thursdays before I realised the young woman was actually his sister.
I found out one day when he arrived at the station with her and a handsome dark-haired man wearing glasses, whose hand rested almost reverently on her slender waist.
The redhead, "Weasley", never missed an opportunity to tease them.
Before I knew it, I found myself quietly laughing a few steps away.
I would've given anything to be part of their little group...
When the train arrived that day, the engaged couple headed towards an expensive-looking black car.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder why he didn't go with them…
I suppose they already had other plans...
It was the first time we'd ended up in the same carriage.
And ever since that day, we always have.
The days went by...
The seasons changed...
If you're wondering how long this strange little routine has been going on...
Two years.
For two years now, we've crossed paths every Thursday in the very same carriage.
Always in the same seats.
Him in front of me...
***
The train pulls into the station.
I climb aboard and take my seat, making sure not to look around.
I take out my book...
And, a few seconds later, as if following our unspoken routine, he sits down in front of me, stretches out his legs and stares out of the window with the same bored expression.
I've never managed to read a single line of any of the books I bring with me.
Maybe if I were prettier... or braver...
If I were someone special, like the girls in magazines...
Maybe then I'd have the courage to lean over and ask him his name.
I don’t think he’s ever noticed that I always wear my nicest clothes whenever I know I'm going to see him...
His yawn pulls me out of my thoughts, and our eyes meet.
I immediately drop my gaze, hardly daring to breathe, and hear him sigh.
I try to make myself as small as possible in my seat, a slight tremor running through me...
Mostly out of frustration.
The stations slip by, and my heart grows heavier.
Two years...
My internship ends today.
I clench my fists and bite my lip.
Come on...
Just a little courage.
Just enough to talk to him...
Just once, before it all comes to an end.
But my lips stubbornly refuse to part, and the minutes keep slipping away.
He sighs again, and I steal a glance at his reflection.
He looks a little exasperated...
Maybe this isn't the right moment to bother him after all…
The train's automated voice announces my stop, and, terribly disappointed, I get to my feet.
He keeps watching the passing scenery...
I stand.
The train comes to a halt...
And I don't move.
My heart feels as though it's about to break…
I'm about to take that first step when, in one last burst of courage, I turn around.
I can see his surprised eyes perfectly in the reflection.
I try to speak... but the words refuse to come.
He turns to face me, his eyebrows lifting, his eyes wide with surprise, as though he can't quite believe I'm standing there.
He really does have the most beautiful eyes in the world.
My red-haired angel... with ocean-blue eyes.
My lips curve into a smile that, I know, never quite reaches my eyes.
The warning chime sounds, and I dash for the doors.
I slip through them at the very last second, and I think I hear someone call "Wait!" .
I catch my breath as the train slowly pulls away.
I think I catch a flash of orange behind one of the windows, though I probably only imagined it.
I let out a quiet laugh at myself as I make my way towards the station exit.
Hermione Granger, you're a lost cause...
I shrug, trying to convince myself that it was only ever a little ritual... and that, sooner or later, it was bound to end.
A lovely memory... one I'll have to let go.
At least I smiled at him.
Holding on to that smile, I take a deep breath, pull my coat a little tighter around me, adjust my scarf, and step out into the street.
Then I keep walking.