Archive of Our Own

The first time the black cat walked into Tony’s workshop, it took a while before he even noticed it.

He had been in the middle of working on his Iron Man armor – music blasting and his focus purely on the new repulsor glove design. It was only when he was reaching for his tools and his fingers met something soft that he spotted the feline.

“Huh.”

Big green eyes blinked innocently at him.

“Jarvis, mute.”

The music died, and Tony leaned closer to study the little creature sitting on top of his workbench. It had glossy black fur, reminding him of a pool of motor oil. He reached out with his hand – it wouldn’t be the first time that he hallucinated something after working for too long – and poked its side with his finger. He poked it a second time, just to be sure, but the cat really was there.

“Jarvis, how does a cat get into my workshop?”

“He has security access, Sir.”

“He has security access,” Tony repeated, dumbfounded. 

The cat flicked its tail and began cleaning the spot Tony had touched. Its little pink tongue brushed over the fur in rhythmic stripes, but its ears remained pointed toward Tony.

“Would you like me to revoke the security access?” Jarvis asked.

The cat stopped its cleaning, and although it seemed more than a little crazy, Tony could swear it looked offended.

He slowly shook his head. “No, it’s fine.”

The cat's eyes glinted in satisfaction. There was something oddly familiar about it, though Tony was fairly certain he had never seen the animal before. He huffed and leaned closer until he was at eye level with it.

“What’s your name, little guy?” Tony asked and reached out to pet it. The black fur was soft and warm beneath his fingers. He brushed from the top of its head down to its back, but when he went for a second stroke, the cat stiffened, and while Tony wasn’t all too well versed in feline body language, he drew his hand back before it could be decorated with red stripes.

“Not one for cuddling, hm?”

The cat made a snorting sound, sitting up straighter and curling its tail around its legs.

The corner of Tony’s mouth twitched. There was something rather adorable about the little creature trying to act all regal. “Well, you can stay here if you want. Just don’t touch anything or you might hurt yourself.” Realizing it was a cat he was talking to, Tony added, “Jarvis, make sure our guest doesn’t get too close to anything that might burn its paws off.”

“Certainly, Sir.”

With that, Tony returned to his armor. He turned the music back on, glancing at the cat to see if it might leave because of the noise, but it didn’t seem bothered by it. It settled into a loaf-like position on the workbench, limbs disappearing and turning it into an indistinguishable black fur ball with only the green eyes staying visible.

Tony smiled to himself and spent the rest of the evening working. 

By the time he was finished, the cat was gone.

—

The cat disappeared for so long that Tony already thought he had imagined its visit. It wouldn’t be the first time that his late-night workshop binges had left him feeling a little crazed.

When he asked Steve about it the next day and he replied with, "A cat? Here?" Tony came to the conclusion that maybe 8 hours of sleep a night was something he should consider after all.

That was, until two weeks later, the cat was there again. Only this time it didn’t just silently appear. 

Tony was sitting at his desk in his workshop, looking over some holographic blueprints, when a black shadow suddenly raced toward him. The doors opened for the cat – so it really did have security access – and without a moment's hesitation, it launched itself at him.

"Oomfph!"

Tony stared with wide eyes at the black cat now sitting on his lap.

"Uhm, hello?” he asked.

The cat ignored him. It was looking at the entrance to the workshop, and when Tony followed its gaze, he saw none other than Thor hurrying toward them. The cat ducked its head, curling into a little ball with the desk shielding its back so it was hidden from Thor’s sight.

“Stark! Have you seen my brother?” Thor called as soon as he stepped inside the workshop.

Tiny claws dug into Tony’s thigh. Not enough to actually hurt but enough to bring the message across. 

Tony mentally sighed. He really wasn’t in the mood to be caught in the middle of a quarrel between the two brothers, but if he simply handed Loki over to Thor now, there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t start fighting right then and there – and tear apart his workshop in the process.

“Nope, haven’t seen him,” Tony said and the claws retracted. “Why? Did something happen?”

Thor sighed, shoulders slumping. “We argued.”

“Why did I even ask…” Tony mumbled to himself.

“If you do see him, please tell him he misunderstood.”

Tony snorted. “I don’t think me saying that is going to help much.”

Thor stuck out his lip in a pout. It never failed to amaze Tony how much the thunder god could mirror the expressions of a sulking child. “Knowing my brother's moods, he will not talk to me for at least a few days.”

“It was that bad?” Tony asked. The furry ball on his lap had still not moved an inch, and his thighs were starting to warm up from the body heat. It was a surprisingly comfortable sensation.

“We were merely reminiscing about the past. I do not understand why he is so sensitive over things that have long happened."

Sharp claws suddenly dug into Tony’s thighs, and he barely managed to suppress a yelp. “Alright,” he quickly said to cover up his flinching. “I’ll let him know if I see him. I’m really busy with this… stuff here right now, though.” He made a shooing motion with his hands. “Good luck.”

“Thank you, Stark,” Thor said and threw him a weary smile.

As soon as Thor was out of sight, Tony rolled back his chair, and Loki jumped up onto the desk.

“You owe me one,” Tony said, feeling both amused and a little insulted. “Since when has my workshop turned into a hiding-from-Thor zone?”

Loki flicked his ear, which was as good of an answer as Tony was going to get. 

He sighed and looked back at his blueprints, thinking Loki would leave now that Thor was no longer on his tail – ha, tail – but he didn’t. He continued sitting on the desk, looking at Tony from the side.

Tony’s skin prickled. “Can you stare a little less?”

Loki rolled his eyes and lay down like he had the last time he was here. All four limbs tucked in with his tail neatly curled around himself. He was looking at the hologram instead of Tony now, though there was something distant in his expression, like his actual attention was on something entirely different. Perhaps he was still thinking about whatever it was Thor had said to him.

Tony tore his eyes away. 

This whole thing was just so weird. Loki and he weren’t exactly friends. 

The god had shown up at the tower half a year ago with Thor telling them about Loki’s brainwashing and about him not being able to stay on Asgard because of a peace treaty with Jotunheim or something. Loki had joined the Avengers back then, and Tony could count the amount of times they had talked to each other outside of missions on one hand. They were still civil with each other, but nothing more. Which was fine with Tony. There was no need for him to get closer to Loki, especially since he seemed to prefer the other Avenger’s company over Tony’s anyway.

Meaning that this was more than unusual. And Tony had no idea what to make of it.

Tony woke up late, as usual. He trotted into the kitchen, stifling a yawn behind his hand and mumbling a Good Morning into the room.

“Morning, Tony,” Steve said. He was sitting at the table with a mug of coffee next to him and his face halfway hidden behind a newspaper – because of course he was old-school like that. Tony was already prepared to tease him for it, but then he noticed the other person in the room.

Loki. 

He was sitting across from Steve, an empty plate in front of him and a blank expression on his face. 

“There’s still some waffles and pancakes on the counter,” Steve said from behind his newspaper. “Feel free to help yourself.”

“Thank god for the early birds,” Tony said with a smile, patting Steve on the shoulder. He got himself some pancakes, topped them with a good scoop of Nutella, and then considered his options.

He could take his breakfast down to the workshop with him and have his peace and quiet or he could sit down next to Steve and annoy him a little.

Or he could sit down next to Loki.

Tony scooted into the chair next to Loki. The god didn’t react other than shoot him a quick look, his expression still as bland as it had been when Tony had walked in.

For a while, Tony simply ate his breakfast in silence. The pancakes were good, as expected. Whatever 1930’s recipe Steve was using really had stood the test of time. He washed the bite down with some coffee and then looked at Loki’s empty plate.

“Do you want some more pancakes?” Tony asked.

“No.”

Well, at least he hadn’t outright ignored him. 

Steve glanced over the rim of his newspaper, probably confused as to what Tony was attempting to do. 

Tony himself wasn’t quite sure. Loki visiting him in his workshop might have been his way of trying to initiate some sort of friendship, and Tony knew that not everyone could walk through the world with the same easy charisma as he did. So why not try to meet him halfway?

“Thought you liked sitting on top of tables more than in front of them," Tony joked. “Gotten a taste for chairs now?”

Loki ignored him.

Tony took another bite from his pancake. “You sure you don’t want some more? They’re really good, and if you don’t strike now, I can’t guarantee that I won’t just eat the rest.”

Loki turned and looked at him with an expression so icy Tony nearly choked. “I don't know what you're attempting to do,” he said, his voice just as cold. “But I’d rather you keep it to yourself.”

Tony blinked. “What?”

Loki stood up sharply and left the room without sparing another glance behind him.

Tony swallowed and looked at Steve. “What just happened?”

Steve shrugged. “He’s been in a bit of a mood lately. Although I really don’t know why he dislikes you so much specifically.”

“He doesn’t dislike me,” Tony argued, uncertain why the accusation offended him so much.

“Have you two ever even talked to each other?”

“Sure we have. Once or twice. And besides…” Tony trailed off, stopping himself before he could have told Steve about his little visitor. It felt wrong somehow to give that away, even when Loki deserved it for acting like such an asshole.

“Besides what?” Steve asked.

“Besides, why would I listen to someone still reading a physical newspaper in this day and age?”

Tony went back to his original plan of annoying Steve, but even then he couldn’t stop thinking about Loki and his weird behavior.

—

The encounter in the kitchen had left Tony so confused that he found himself wondering if his original theory of sleep deprivation may have been correct after all. He had even gone back to review the security footage to confirm that the little black cat had indeed been there, sitting on his desk and watching him work for hours.

So why had Loki acted so hostile toward him? 

It sparked a mix of agitation and curiosity in Tony, and not much later, he got a step closer to getting an answer.

It had been an exhausting day. They had held one of their biannual press conferences, and since it was the first since Loki had joined the Avengers, most of the questions had been directed at him. 

Loki had handled them well, at least compared to Thor’s habit of taking every question literally and answering them with way too much honesty. Still, the press had been far from kind to the former villain. They had asked the kind of rude and personal questions that could throw off the best poker face. In the end, even Steve had snapped at them to shut it.

As soon as they were back at the tower, Tony went to his workshop to tinker and relax. 

And just half an hour later a black cat walked in.

“Oh, your majesty!” Tony called with a mocking bow. “How benevolent to grace me with your presence.”

Loki's tail flicked. He jumped up on the desk and lay down on the same spot as he had the last time.

Tony didn’t let himself get ignored that easily, however. He walked over until he stood right in front of Loki, arms at his side. “I haven’t forgiven you for the stunt you pulled at breakfast the other day. Say sorry or I’m kicking you out.”

Loki narrowed his eyes at him. Tony arched his brow in turn. He would not give in so easily. This was still his workshop.

Loki seemed to realize that as well. He stood up, looked up at Tony with his eyes growing impossibly big, and butted his head against Tony’s forearm. Then he lay down in the same spot as before.

It took Tony a good ten seconds to recover from his surprise. “Alright,” he said slowly. “Apology accepted. You can stay. But I’m adding this bill to the rent you totally pay.”

Loki didn’t react further to him. He curled up into a ball, head resting on the tip of his tail. 

Tony couldn’t help but notice that he seemed…tired. Sad, even. Like all the wind had been blown out of his sails.

Tony bit into his lip. He looked at what he had been tinkering on and then back at Loki’s miserable expression. 

Ah, damn it. 

He pulled over a chair and sat down next to Loki.

“You know, those people are like demons,” he said. “They feed off anything negative. Bad headlines always get more attention than good ones.”

Loki’s tail flicked, but Tony knew his irritation was for once not directed at him.

“I mean,” Tony continued. “You probably don’t care too much about what people think of you, but usually the legal team shuts down the worst stuff before it reaches print anyway. Don’t worry too much about it.”

Loki still seemed a little uncertain, but after a short moment, he blinked at Tony, and his eyes were filled with genuine gratitude. 

Tony smiled, and before he could think better of it, he brushed over Loki’s head. As soon as he realized what he was doing, he pulled his hand back, but Loki hadn’t stiffened like he had the first time Tony had petted him. No, he almost looked like he had enjoyed the contact and wanted Tony to continue.

Tony stood back up, suddenly feeling awkward. “Well, you know the house rules. Don’t burn your paws off. And don’t burn any of my stuff. Just… stay in your spot.”

Loki gave him a small nod. He still had that air of sadness around him, and Tony almost sat back down to try and say something else to reassure him.

But Loki didn’t like him. He was coming to Tony’s workshop to get a break from Thor.

Nothing more. 

—

Loki continued treating him with the same blank disinterest as he had before, and Tony didn’t make much of an effort to approach him again. 

And yet, the black cat kept visiting his workshop. 

Sometimes he came by once a week, other times multiple days in a row, even. There was almost a routine to his visits by now. When Tony saw Loki come to his workshop, he gave him a small pat on the head as a greeting, and Loki went to his spot on the desk where he dozed or lazily watched Tony for the time that he stayed there. Sometimes he stayed barely an hour; other times he only left when Tony himself went to bed.

But most surprising of all, Tony found himself enjoying the silent company.

—

Thor and Loki were fighting. 

Properly fighting. 

Tony didn’t even know why. Thor had laughed at something Loki had said, and Loki had thrown a sarcastic remark at him in turn, and then there had been some shouting about honor – which wasn’t unusual for them either – and suddenly they were at each other’s throats. 

And now the villain they had come here to fight seemed like a minor issue compared to trying to break apart two angry Norse gods.

They eventually managed to stop them, but both Thor, Loki, and the streets around them had plenty of signs to show for it. The villain had managed to get away in the chaos, and they were all caught somewhere between appalled and freaked out by the whole situation. Arguing between the brothers was nothing new, but there hadn’t been a conflict at this scale ever since Loki had joined the Avengers.

Tony wasn’t surprised when a black cat visited him in the evening. In fact, he had been waiting for it.

Loki limped into the workshop, dragging one of his back legs behind him. Even the way he jumped up onto his spot on the desk was without any of his usual elegance.

Tony put down what he had been working on and took a step closer. “You alright?” he asked.

Loki's ear twitched, otherwise ignoring Tony. He lay down and carefully stretched out his leg. The fur was plastered down in places, and when Tony looked more closely, he noticed the red hue of blood.

“You might wanna get that checked out. I’m sure Bruce can–”

Loki hissed at him.

A full on, ears-flat, teeth-bared hiss.

Tony was so startled that he stumbled backwards and held up his hands. “Okay. Fine. I get it.”

And he really was starting to get it. The pattern of Loki’s visits was becoming easier to predict, and the answer to this whole thing was as simple as it was puzzling. 

When Loki had a shitty day, he came to him. 

Only Tony had no idea why him, specifically. He didn’t mind giving him a few pats on the head – he rather enjoyed it actually – but he was certain Natasha would be much better at it. And if he was looking for a quiet place to relax, Bruce or Clint would be a better choice than Tony, who didn’t even turn down the music half the time. Or if Loki was looking for some kind of emotional support, Steve was much better at saying the right thing than Tony. 

Really, anyone but Thor seemed like a better choice.

But maybe that was exactly why Loki came here.

Tony wasn’t equipped to handle him in any way, and so he simply didn’t. Loki got both his peace and some company at the same time. 

There were no expectations coming from either side, even if more often than not, Tony found himself wishing he knew what to do to make those sad, green eyes at least a little brighter.

—

Usually Loki came by in the evening, but when Tony walked into the workshop that morning, he was already there. 

It took a moment before Tony spotted him. He was lying on a chair rather than his usual spot on the desk, though he was still curled into his favorite indiscernible black void pose.

“Morning,” Tony said. “Didn’t know the hotel did check in that early.”

Loki raised his head and slowly blinked at him before rolling back up. He looked especially gloomy today. Even the fact that he was on the chair rather than on the desk added to it, like he was trying to make himself as small and invisible as possible.

It was another one of those moments where Tony was certain a person better than him would say something.

But Tony had no idea what to say. 

All he could do was begin his work and wonder quietly what it was that had put Loki in a bad mood today. Thor had been gone for almost a week, visiting Jane, so it couldn’t be that. The Avengers hadn’t been called to any unpleasant fights recently, and it was still so early in the day that it seemed impossible to already be upset by it.

Maybe Loki had simply started to find the hard wood of the desk too uncomfortable, and that was why he had switched to the chair today. 

If Tony were to get him a cat bed, would Loki maul him to death or would he accept it? He honestly didn’t know. Maybe he could just sneak one in and pretend it had always been there. And if Loki got snappy, he could lie and say that there had been a cat living here once and that he had certainly not gotten it for Loki specifically.

“Mrrp.”

“What?”

Tony turned around, but Loki was still asleep on the chair. His paws were twitching however, and when Tony walked closer, he noticed that his whiskers were twitching too, like little tremors were going through his entire body.

He was having a nightmare, no doubt about it.

Tony bit his lip. God, he really wasn’t qualified for this. And Loki didn’t expect him to do anything, so why should he do anything? It wasn’t like–

Another little sound left Loki, one that was so close to a whimper that Tony’s stomach twisted.

“Ah, fuck it,” Tony muttered. He put his hand on Loki’s back and gave him a slight shake. “Hey, wake up, you’re–”

Loki’s eyes shot open, and Tony was instantly pushed backward. He flew through the air, collided with the wall, and crumpled to the ground. The pain was so strong that for a moment his vision completely blacked out. 

He groaned as he came to again and heaved himself into a somewhat upright position. “What the fuck?!” he called.

Loki was standing on the chair, his fur sticking up in every direction and his tail bushy like he had been struck by lightning. He seemed equally as freaked out as Tony, which wasn’t all too comforting.

“Sir, I have detected a concussion as well as multiple contusions,” Jarvis said. “It is recommended to cool the places of injury.”

“Might as well jump into an ice bath then,” Tony muttered to himself, rubbing the back of his head. The rest of his body hurt as well, but his head was the worst, like someone had taken a sledgehammer right to it.

Loki jumped down from the chair and walked closer. He stopped next to Tony, looking awkwardly at him like he didn’t quite know what to do. 

“Meow?”

Tony sighed. At least Loki sounded apologetic. “Maybe don’t try to kill me because I woke you up?”

Loki nudged closer and blinked at him, pupils growing bigger until there was barely any green left.

“You’re like 90% eyes,” Tony said. “How are you doing that?”

Loki meowed again and butted his head against Tony’s arm, which was so adorable that Tony felt his anger evaporating.

“This isn’t fair,” Tony mumbled and brushed over Loki’s head. His fur was soft and his body warm, and for a moment, he kept his hand there, just to see what Loki would do. 

Immediately, Loki pressed back against him, and Tony smiled as he gently scratched behind his ears. Loki seemed to thoroughly enjoy it. His eyes closed, and it wasn’t long before a rumbling sound started in his chest.

“Would you look at that? Even purring for me,” Tony said, smiling despite how much his head was still hurting.

The purring must have been a subconscious thing because as soon as Tony mentioned it, the noise abruptly died and Loki took a step backward, ears flicking in what seemed to be embarrassment.

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way. Come on, don’t give me the cold shoulder now,” Tony said and held out his hand in invitation. “You liked it. I liked it. No shame in it. And you still owe me after you almost split my head open.”

There was something sad, yet longing in the way Loki looked at him, and while Tony didn’t know what internal battle was going on inside him, he simply kept holding out his hand and waited. 

After what felt like an eternity, Loki finally came closer again, but instead of butting against Tony’s hand, he climbed up onto his lap.

“There we go,” Tony said and immediately got back to work. The rumbling started anew, and even if Loki still seemed a little embarrassed by the whole thing, he was pressing back into the contact. Tony found an especially nice spot under his chin that made Loki melt against him, his little whiskers twitching as his eyes fluttered closed. 

Tony smiled and wished he could ignore the throbbing pain in his head, but it was growing stronger by the minute with no signs of stopping.

“I have to go get an ice pack. And some pain killers,” Tony murmured, fingers still buried in Loki’s fur. “My head feels like it’s about to explode.”

Loki opened his eyes, and without hesitation he pressed one paw against Tony’s chest, right next to the arc reactor. His eyes turned even more green, and an odd wave of warmth filled Tony. It washed over his entire body, and the moment he found himself feeling a little too hot, it vanished. And with it, the pain disappeared as well.

“Wow,” Tony said, honestly impressed. “Thanks.”

The purr rumbled even deeper, and Tony happily continued giving Loki the massage of his life.

—

Tony looked down at his blinking phone, instantly tensing. He didn’t let any of it show, however, as he politely excused himself from the group of investors and hurried into an empty hallway away from the buzz of the gala.

“What is it, Jarvis?” he asked as he unlocked his phone.

Jarvis’ response came in the form of two red words on his screen. 

Intruder detected.

Tony quickly switched over to the camera view of his workshop, and a red box instantly marked said intruder.

It was Loki. 

He was not in his usual spot on the desk or even on the chair. He was curled up in an open Iron Man helmet, making him almost invisible if it weren’t for his tail hanging out.

Tony swallowed. “It’s fine, Jarvis. No need for an alarm,” he said, and the red blinking text disappeared. 

He always fully locked the workshop down when he went out on business trips. Not even the people who usually had security access could get in then. Loki must have found some other way in. Perhaps he had simply teleported. A gap in his workshop's security would usually send all the alarm bells ringing in Tony’s head, but he didn’t even think about that fact now.

He just kept looking at the security footage, zooming in on Loki's figure.

He looked so small compared to the big, empty workshop. Huddled up in the Iron Man helmet like it was the closest thing to Tony that could offer him comfort.

Tony turned off his phone, and instead of going back to the investors, he made his way to his hotel room. 

It wouldn’t hurt to return a day earlier from his trip. It fit better into his schedule anyway.

—

The mattress dipped next to him. Tony pressed his face deeper into the pillow and made a grumbling sound that hopefully drove away whoever was trying to interrupt his precious sleep.

The mattress dipped again as his visitor came closer, and a moment later, Tony felt something climb over him and nudge his arm. When Tony ignored it, there was another nudge, then another, and on the fourth one, Tony reluctantly pried his eyes open. 

It took a moment before he got used to the darkness in his bedroom and he could make out the fluffy silhouette.

“Loki?” he mumbled.

A little mrrp-sound was his reply.

Tony stared at Loki, decided that he was way too tired to deal with this, and sank back into his pillow. He was already halfway back asleep when he felt Loki press against him again, and getting the hint this time, Tony wrapped his arm around him and pulled him against his chest. 

The by now familiar sound of his purring started, and Tony smiled to himself.

“Weirdo,” he muttered and fell back asleep.

Huh, Tony thought when he woke up. I don’t remember taking someone to bed last night.

But it was undeniably a bare chest Tony was snuggled up against, and those were indeed arms hugging him and legs entangled with his own under the sheets. It was comfortable, at least. Warm. And the person smelled nice too, familiar, almost like– 

Tony’s eyes shot wide open.

He was pressed against Loki’s chest.

Oh god. Loki must have accidentally shifted back while he was asleep.

Tony swallowed. There was no need to make this weird. He was cuddling with Loki, so what? He had cuddled plenty of people in his life before; there was no need for his heart to suddenly be beating twice as fast now.

Except that it was.

Tony chose not to think about why.

Instead, he forced himself to calm down. He had been in this kind of position before, and he also knew how to get out of it. He closed his eyes, relaxed his body as if he were still sleeping, and then he pinched Loki’s side.

“Hng?”

Loki shifted as he woke, his arms tightening their hold on Tony and pulling him closer. Then he completely froze. He must have noticed what position they were in. And now he would gently untangle himself, spare them both the awkwardness of waking up next to each other, and quietly leave.

But Loki didn’t do that. 

He just kept lying there, holding Tony in his arms. And then he surprised Tony even more by pulling him a little closer and burying his nose in his hair. He let out a sigh, and now Tony at least had a good reason as to why his heart was racing like he had run a marathon.

Loki remained like that for a long moment before finally doing what Tony had initially thought he would. He pulled back, gently untangled their limbs, and left the room.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Tony opened his eyes again, a strange feeling curling in his stomach.

It was more than odd to sit across from Loki at breakfast and pretend not to have woken up in his arms. 

Tony kept glancing up at him in between bites of his waffles, unsure if he was doing it in an attempt to actually catch Loki’s gaze or because he couldn’t stop thinking about that sigh he had breathed into his hair… which had been just a tad too soft to mean nothing.

Loki, on the other hand, was playing his part well. He looked at Tony not a second longer than he usually did and with no emotion other than the blank disinterest he always held.

Tony glanced at Loki yet again, but this time Loki caught it. They looked at each other, and for a moment that mask of indifference fell, and Tony simply knew that Loki was thinking about the exact same thing as him.

Loki was the first to break the contact, looking back down at his empty plate instead.

“What’s a typical Asgardian breakfast like?” Tony asked.

Loki’s head shot back up. He briefly looked to the side, as if unsure that it was indeed him Tony was talking to before he replied. “Usually meats and cheese with bread. Eggs, sometimes soups.” He sounded a bit reserved, but it was far from the hostility that he had directed at Tony the last time they had talked.

“Mhm,” Tony hummed and took another bite from his waffle. “Do you want me to order some of that? Or you could just tell Jarvis. I’m sure Steve would even be down to cook something different for you.”

“No. I rather enjoy these breakfasts.”

“Bit of a sweet tooth?” Tony asked.

Loki’s lips twitched the tiniest bit upwards. “Perhaps.”

Tony leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I have a secret bucket of ice cream hidden in my workshop. Reserved for special occasions.” He grinned. “Do you think holding a conversation with you without you biting my head off counts as one?”

Loki narrowed his eyes, but the gesture seemed to stem more from amusement than genuine annoyance. “Our conversation is not yet over; I still have ample opportunity to separate your head from your shoulders.”

Tony held up his hands. “I promise it's good ice cream. Expensive stuff, imported from Italy. And if you bite my head off now, you’ll never find the secret spot I have it hidden in."

Loki’s lips curled higher, and it was the closest thing Tony had ever seen to a genuine smile from him. “I suppose you will keep your head for now.”

Tony could barely focus on his work. He kept looking over at the entrance to the workshop, hoping to see Loki walking toward him. He had gotten them two nice bowls and some chocolate sprinkles, and he had checked that he still had a big enough variety of flavors in the freezer just in case Loki was a bit picky with the kind of ice cream he liked.

Finally, Tony noticed movement from the corner of his eye. He turned around with a grin, and just barely managed to stop it from falling off his face again.

Because yes, Loki had come, but he had come as the feline visitor Tony had already spent more than enough time with.

Loki jumped up on the desk, looked at the two bowls and then back at Tony. When Tony stayed quiet, he tilted his head to the side and let out a questioning meow.

“Oh, yes, hi! I was just wondering if cats can have chocolate sprinkles,” Tony said, and gave Loki a pat on the head, trying to cover up the disappointment he was actually feeling. “Jarvis, can they?”

“It is ill-advised to feed chocolate to cats.”

“No sprinkles for you then.”

Tony filled their bowls and they both ate their ice cream and it was nice in the same way it always was when Loki came to hang out, but Tony still couldn’t help feeling frustrated. He didn't just want to talk to Loki; he wanted to talk with Loki. He wanted to get to know him better and escape this awkward not-quite-friends but also more-than-just-colleagues space they were hovering in.

And in a deeper, more personal way, he had also hoped that Loki would simply trust him more by now.

Still, the disappointment of that day didn’t stop Tony from trying to get closer to Loki.

He continued talking to him at breakfast, and the few sentences they exchanged eventually turned into full conversations. The blank expressions on Loki’s face slowly vanished and Tony loved when his eyes filled with genuine joy and became as lively as they were when he was a cat.

Or that one time where the Avengers had watched a movie together and Loki had smiled at a joke Tony had thrown into the room, perhaps thinking that it was dark enough in the room not to be visible, but Tony had a hard time tearing his eyes off this new Loki he was getting to know and seen it anyways. And when Loki caught his gaze, his eyes had sparkled like he had trapped a sea of stars in them.

That very evening, after everyone else had left and they were the only ones still there, Tony had asked Loki if he wanted to watch another movie – just the two of them.

Loki had said no.

Even though he clearly enjoyed Tony’s company, he kept up that last bit of distance. The little black cat kept coming to the workshop to hang out and on some nights, he quietly jumped up on Tony’s bed, seeking comfort after a nightmare that Tony wished he could talk to him about.

Tony hated how powerless it made him feel. But it wasn’t like he could force Loki to become his friend. All he could do was continue giving Loki the company he sought while shoving down the feeling that he wished that this was something more.

—

This is bad, Tony thought. Really, fucking, bad.

They had gotten the call way too late because some idiot thought the fire department would be enough to evacuate a collapsing bridge while half the fire engines couldn’t even make it there through the blocked traffic. 

One of the pillars had exploded – undoubtedly foul play – but there was no sign of the perpetrator or any clues as to what the motive could have been.

The evacuations were frustratingly slow. Traffic blocked the road; cars had crashed into each other as some had driven away in panic and others had gawked at the collapsing bridge.

Natasha, Clint, and Loki were at the edge where the bridge’s pillars were still stable, leading the fleeing people toward safety while the rest of them were on the collapsing part, easing frightened people out of their cars or carrying those too injured to walk to the paramedics. Bruce had stayed home – the Hulk would have only sped up the collapse.

It was a fight against time. The cracks continued growing; even the slight shift of weight from the moving people was enough to send chunks of concrete crashing into the water below.

When an especially big chunk broke off, taking a handful of – thankfully – empty cars with it, Tony flew back and let his scanners run over the bridge.

“It’s gonna collapse any second,” he said through the intercom.

“We can’t leave yet,” Steve instantly replied. “There’s still far too many people on–”

The cracks in the ground raced forward, the metal ropes securing the bridge snapped one after the other, and screams filled the air. 

Thor flew into the air, carrying a little boy in his arms, and Tony darted forward to snatch up Steve when suddenly a wave of green washed over the bridge. It glued the cracks back together and froze the ropes, as if time itself had simply stopped.

Loki was on his knees, both hands flat on the ground. “I cannot hold it for long,” he gritted through the intercom. “Hurry!”

“You heard him. Keep evacuating!” Steve shouted.

They wasted no time. They pried people out of their cars and led them to safety as quickly as they could. But with the bridge now seemingly no longer collapsing, there were a few idiots who ran back onto the bridge, claiming they wanted to quickly get a few belongings from their cars, and Tony had to fight the urge to just pick them up and send them down into the water himself.

The bridge groaned, and the green glow that had been holding everything together flickered.

Tony threw a glance at Loki. He was bowed low, hands digging into the concrete while sweat ran down his face. Natasha was standing next to him, a hand hovering over his back as if she wasn’t sure if touching him would actually help.

“I can’t hold it anymore,” Loki’s voice came through the intercom, choked and breathless.

“Just a moment longer,” Steve replied.

“I– I can’t.”

All at once the green glow disappeared. 

Tony darted forward, picking up Steve and the old woman he had been helping, and carried them to safety.

The collapse that had been temporarily stopped now happened all the quicker for it. The cracks spread forward like lightning, the last of the ropes snapped, and the bridge crashed into the sea. The roaring sound of splashing water swallowed up the distant screams, and for a moment they were all frozen, unable to do anything but watch as the catastrophe unfolded. 

After a few seconds it was already over. There was nothing left of the bridge, and an eerie silence settled over the scene.

Steve was the first to recover from the shock. “We… we need to keep up the rescue efforts. Send in boats. Save anyone we can.”

They jumped back into motion, but Loki remained frozen. He was still on his knees, hand reaching forward as if he could somehow undo all that had happened if he just willed it enough.

Tony landed next to him. “You okay?” he asked.

Loki looked at him, eyes glassy and pained. Then, like a switch had been flipped, all the emotion vanished, and Tony thought that it had never been easier to see that it was nothing but an illusion. 

“Of course,” Loki said, and his voice was empty, hollow.

Tony swallowed down any instinct to keep pushing and instead gave him a nod. He had to help save whoever he could first. They would talk about this later.

—

The rescue efforts went on late into the night. Usually Tony collapsed straight into bed after this kind of mission, but today he went down to his workshop instead. Not to do any work, however. He just sat there, and it didn’t take long until near-silent taps announced the arrival of the one he had been waiting for.

Loki jumped up onto the desk, sitting down in the same spot as he always did, and Tony gave him a gentle pat on the head as he always did.

And while Tony knew Loki didn’t come here to talk, he just couldn’t get the look Loki had worn on the bridge out of his head, especially not when right now his eyes seemed to be caught so deeply still in that same sadness and despair.

“That wasn’t your fault today,” Tony said. “I know it might feel like it, but it wasn’t.”

Loki’s ears immediately flicked backwards.

“I’m being serious,” Tony argued, talking louder so that Loki would still hear him properly. His tail was swishing from side to side, and it couldn’t be clearer just how much he didn’t want to be talking about this, but Tony didn’t care. “You can’t think like that," he continued. "It wasn’t your fault that the bridge collapsed, and I’m going to keep telling you that until you realize it too.”

Loki stood up and attempted to jump down from the desk, but Tony caught him mid-air, holding him up so that Loki was forced to look at his face. He didn’t care about the red streaks Loki’s claws were leaving on his arms as he struggled against him.

“You saved a lot of lives today,” he said. “Without you hundreds more would have died.”

“What makes you think I care about a few mortal lives?” The sudden change from holding a cat in his arms to having a full-on Loki towering over him made Tony stumble a step backward. “Your lives are short,” Loki hissed. “A few decades more or less, it is all the same to me.”

But Tony didn’t let his harsh tone influence him. He took a step forward and looked at the face that wore the same illusion as it had on the bridge. “Loki,” he said softly. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Then whose was it?”

“It was the fault of the guy who rigged the explosives. Not yours for trying to stop him.”

“I should have been able to hold it for longer. If only I had been stronger, then–”

“But you weren't," Tony cut in. “None of us were. And that is not our fault.”

Loki clenched his jaw and sharply turned his head to the side, eyes dancing across anything that wasn’t Tony’s face. “You do not understand. I should have been stronger.”

“Says who?” Tony asked, and Loki looked at him again. The illusion had fallen, revealing such raw hurt and shame that Tony’s chest ached in sympathy. “You saved a lot of people today. You should be proud of that.” He took a slow breath. “And I’m proud of you for that.”

Loki’s eyes widened in shock, and then, all at once, his expression shut down again. He turned around and took long strides toward the door of the workshop.

“If you leave now–” Tony began.

“Then what?” Loki snapped, but he had stopped. His hands were balled into fists so tight that his knuckles turned white.

“Then you’ll just come crawling to my bed in an hour anyway." Tony bit his tongue. “Okay, sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant is, why not stay? I don’t mind you being here. And I don’t care if it’s you you or cat you or whatever else you have in store.”

Loki stood there, keeping his back to Tony without saying anything.

“You know I offered you a drink once,” Tony said, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “Want to take me up on it?”

It was a long shot. But he feared that if Loki left now that fragile thing they had built between them would crash and splinter into a thousand pieces that could never be glued back together again.

The moment seemed to stretch for hours.

Finally, Loki’s shoulders lost their tension. Everything about him slumped in on itself, and Tony didn't miss the hand that came up to wipe at his face.

Loki turned around with a crooked smile and glassy eyes. “I was wondering when you would finally take me up on it.”

They sat down at the bar, and Tony poured them both a drink. Loki accepted the glass, but he didn’t say anything, and Tony, too, stayed quiet. He still felt like he was walking on eggshells, but the silence was at least a comfortable one.

After his third refill Loki sighed and laid his head down on the counter top, cushioning his face with his arms. His hair sprawled out over the light wood, and Tony didn’t even have to think about it – a second later, his hand was already gently massaging Loki’s scalp.

Loki tensed for a moment, then he let out a sound that might have been a laugh or a sob or perhaps both.

“I can stop if you don’t like it,” Tony said honestly.

Loki tilted his head so he was looking up at Tony. It was hard to hold his gaze and even harder to attempt to understand just what was going on in that head of his.

“It is unseemly,” Loki whispered.

“What is?”

“To come crawling to someone else for comfort. It is not what a warrior does.”

“I have heard you tell Thor plenty of times that you are no warrior of Asgard.”

Loki huffed. "Precisely."

“If you think about it, it isn’t exactly you coming over. Loophole, if you ask me,” Tony said. Loki’s lips twitched upward just a little, and Tony brushed an unruly strand of hair out of his forehead. “And I really don’t mind it. I would have told you otherwise, trust me.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

Tony shrugged. “Maybe it is.”

Loki looked at him intently. His eyes were warm in a way Tony didn’t quite understand. “You are a strange man.”

“I’ve been called worse.”

Loki lifted his head. He was suddenly far closer to Tony than he’d thought. He looked so sad, yet beautiful and his eyes were filled with a strange yearning.

Tony was so caught in them that he barely reacted when Loki leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

Loki pulled back, and Tony stared at him, unsure if this had just answered all his questions or added a million more.

“Do you know why I come to you?” Loki asked quietly.

Tony shook his head, too stunned to do anything else.

“You feel safe.” Loki smiled in an uncertain, wobbly way and then pressed his forehead against Tony’s shoulder.

Safe. 

Tony had been called many things in his life: erratic and crazy, a maniac and a genius, a warmonger and a hero.

But never had it been safe. 

That word did something to his insides, warming them in a strange way.

“I can stop coming if that’s what you want,” Loki said, and now his voice has that far-off taint of regret in it, and while Tony wasn’t quite sure what any of these things meant just yet, he knew that that was the last thing he wanted.

“No. Please stay. I think…” Tony wrapped his arms around Loki, burying a hand in his hair and holding him close. “I think I would like that. Being safe for you.”