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College parties were such a bore after they lost their luster. Freshman year everything had been new and shiny. Iris loved going out with her roommate and chatting up cute guys (College guys, she would think excitedly in those early months) and having the opportunity to dress up and dance.
But by junior year the shininess had worn off, and she practically had to be dragged along to every gathering. The cheap beer, sleazy frat boys, corny music, and body odor blurred together with an unpleasant repetitiveness after a while, and Iris preferred to just stay home and watch a movie or finish writing a paper. Unfortunately when Linda found out (through some pretty admirable internet stalking) that the guy she was majorly crushing on would be at some random house party, Iris had to tag along to make sure that Linda was safe. Her father had hammered statistics about campus assault into her brain before she left for school and during their phone conversations here and there, and it had made her pretty cautious. Cautious enough to leave her spot on the couch, which had molded perfectly to her body just the way she liked it.
Iris loved her roommate, she really did, but she wished she had stood her ground. Instead of being miserable on some stranger’s dingy couch, sipping water from a solo cup and playing games on her phone, she could be in her soft, warm bed binge-watching a tv show she’d fallen behind on in the hectic mix of schoolwork and her internship.
After yet another failure to beat her high score, she turned off her phone and pushed up and off the couch, glancing around in search of her roommate. The living room was lit only by a couple lamps, but she could still clearly see gyrating happening on the makeshift dancefloor and the various pairs of people making out. The room flowed with students entering and leaving through the front hallway. She saw sorority sisters laughing hysterically and falling all over each other. She noticed guy who spilled half his drank on the carpet and proceeded to cover the stain with someone’s jacket after looking a furtive glance around the room. She even observed a shy-looking girl in a corner petting someone’s cat and looking extremely uncomfortable. Not spotting Linda anywhere, Iris sent her a quick text.
Where r u?
She was debating between flopping back down on the couch and going off in search of the bathroom when it happened. One second she was staring vacantly around her, barely noticing the shapes of her fellow partygoers once she realized Linda wasn’t among them, and a moment later she was arrested by a pair of eyes that locked with hers. The eyes were connected to a body that had been coming from the entrance to what she vaguely recalled being the kitchen, and as soon as the person appeared in the living room her head had turned in his direction.
It took multiple beats for her to realize that she was staring. She shook her head embarrassedly, although the person been staring right back. She tore her gaze away, but couldn’t help letting her eyes wander to his again, like he was a magnet, a second later. He was still looking directly at her.
Iris felt her face warm, as though she had tilted her head back to the sun on a summer day. She wondered if someone had decided to blast the heating in the house before she recognized the feeling. When was the last time she had blushed?
The stranger looked at her questioningly, his mouth opening just a bit, and God, he was cute. He was tall and lanky, with nice brown hair that was styled so that it stuck up in the front.
When he started walking in her direction he didn’t seem to see anyone but her. People moved out of his way, shooting him foul glances, but he didn’t even notice as the crowd parted like the red sea for him. Not once did his gaze stray from her face.
Iris had a weird moment of flight or fight. She wanted to run, not because she thought the stranger wanted to harm her, but because she didn’t know what she was feeling. Whatever it was, it was powerful and unfamiliar, and it felt dangerous. Like when she had to make a big decision or did something risky and exhilarating. But even as she considered an escape route, she felt herself being drawn to the stranger, and when he finished walking up to her she realized that she had moved a feet from the couch, unwittingly pulled toward him.
The feeling was electric. Up close she could see the color of his eyes. Green. They bore into her, and she felt naked, exposed, and completely vulnerable. Why did this total stranger make her feel as if he knew her deeper than people who had known her for her entire life simply by looking at her? Iris considered escaping once more, but the train of thought was interrupted by the sight of his lips moving.
“What?” She shouted. The music was too loud to hear well. The bass pulsed through the house, shaking windows and making conversation virtually impossible, which seemed to be the point of this particular party.
He seemed to agree, because a moment later he bent down and spoke loudly into her ear. “Could we go somewhere quiet, maybe?”
She hesitated for a moment before nodding her head yes, desperately trying to ignore the butterflies going wild in her stomach at his brief proximity. But then he slid his hand into hers, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and she felt a lightheaded. The world took on a distinctly dreamlike quality. Heck, maybe this all was just a weird dream.
He guided her through the crowd and out of the front door. She immediately felt a hundred times better in the fresh air and relative quiet. Iris hated that when he released her hand, no longer needing to guide her through sweaty bodies and intoxicated students, she felt a twinge of displeasure.
They walked along the sidewalk in silence for a minute, trading glances and examining one another. When they came across a neighborhood bench under a streetlamp he gestured for her to sit, and he followed suit.
“Sorry, we didn’t even exchange names. I’m Barry,” he introduced himself.
“Iris.”
He repeated her name, appearing to savor the two simple syllables. It sounded as though her name had found a home that it didn’t know it had been searching for. She suppressed a shiver. Iris didn’t know what this was and couldn’t really understand what was happening. Only she did understand. The logical side of her didn’t, but her heart whispered a suggestion of what might be happening.
Barry didn’t seem to know how to begin, but after a few false starts he blurted out, “I’ve never seen you before.”
Iris couldn’t keep her eyebrows from shooting up, or the soft breath of escaped laughter.
“Isn’t that like…the opposite of what guys are supposed to say? I think your line is supposed to be ‘Excuse me, have we met?’ or ‘Do I know you from somewhere?’” She joked, imitating a deep voice and how cheesy men sounded when they said those words.
Barry laughed. “Yeah, only I know I haven’t seen you anywhere. I would remember if I had seen you in a Target five years ago.”
Iris felt that heat in her face again and was thankful that the color wouldn’t show on her skin. “Oh, um….” She couldn’t help but glance away shyly.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it in a creepy way. What I’m trying to say is just that I know I haven’t ever seen you, but I feel like I know you. And like you know me.”
Before she realized what she’s doing, her head nodded in agreement. “Yeah, um, I think I actually know what you mean.”
He looked relieved, and her heart warmed at the sight of his sweet smile.
“Good. So I’m not crazy.”
“Nope. Or maybe we both are.”
There was a pause in the conversation where they could only look into one another’s eyes. Iris thought it felt similar to how she imagined it felt to be hypnotized. It took some effort to snap herself out of it and ask him, “So, um, you go to CCU? It’s a pretty small school, I can’t believe I’ve never seen you around.”
“Yeah I know, I feel like I’ve seen almost everyone around here at some point, but maybe we don’t hang around the same buildings. I’m a chem and forensic science double major. What about you?”
“Hm, so you’re a science nerd,” she teased gently. “No wonder we haven’t seen each other—I’m studying journalism.”
That seemed to pique his interest because he asked her a ton of questions about her major after she said it. She had never really talked about it so in depth with anyone not in the same field, so she couldn’t really help the excited way she babbled about investigating techniques she’d discovered and everything she was learning from her internship at Central City Picture News.
And it appeared that the pair had babbling in common because when she asked him about his classes and then about his lab research he gesticulated wildly and his eyes lit up. He tripped over his words, his mouth not able to keep up with his brain.
When her phone buzzed Iris jumped in surprise. She pulled her phone from her jacket pocket and her eyes widened a bit at the time. It had been over an hour since she texted Linda, who was finally getting back to her. So much for cSoHad it really been so long? It felt like five minutes had passed since she and Barry sat down.
Hey, Max had to leave but OMG so much to tell you. Ready to get out of here? Linda had texted.
Iris glanced up at her new friend who was looking at her curiously. She didn’t really want to leave him, but she also couldn’t just let her roommate go home alone at that time of night.
Yeah, I’ll meet you outside in a minute. Iris quickly replied.
“I’m sorry, it’s my roommate. I have to go.”
Barry nodded agreeably and stood, offering his hand to her. “I’ll walk you back.”
This time he didn’t let go. In fact he intertwined their fingers together even more comfortably, and she was content to enjoy the warm roughness of his larger hand in hers. They arrived back at the house all too soon, and Linda rushed over to her, a huge smile on her face. Iris wondered what exactly had gone down with Max. Whatever it was, it must have been huge because her roommate didn’t even seem to register when Barry dropped Iris’s hand and stepped back.
“See you around?” Iris asked quickly before Linda could drag her away and give her all the details of her night.
He smiled softly once more and agreed. “See you around.”
“Who was that?” Linda asked, immediately following up with “Never mind, tell me later. You won’t believe what Max said…”
Iris Mhm’ed and No way’ed in all the right places as she and Linda walked the fifteen minutes back to their apartment, but most of her brain was thinking of Barry and his eyes and the way he had hung on her every word when she spoke. And the way he their hands had fit perfectly together. Iris wasn’t a romantic. She’d had a couple of boyfriends and went on dates sometimes, but she hadn’t really expected to ever feel that spark or the fireworks that books and movies always talked about in regards to love.
So what was that feeling earlier when Barry had first come up to her? As soon as they had made eye contact she’d felt drawn to him, and he to her, and when they had talked on the bench for an hour there wasn’t any awkwardness, just familiarity and an easiness that she only felt with her family and Linda. He had made her laugh, and she had told him more about what her journalism work meant to her than her best friend whom she lived with.
When they got home, Iris told Linda she had an early morning and went straight to her room and into bed. She had turned all her lights off and closed the curtains in the hope that total darkness would calm her brain and stop the racing thoughts. But she felt that same excitement that she sometimes got when she was writing a really amazing piece that made it impossible to fall asleep.
She didn’t really have any solid thoughts, mostly just hazy clouds floating around that consisted of a pair of green eyes, or a freckle, or the shape of a smile, all belonging to a boy she had just met.
She wondered if he had a girlfriend and told herself she’d be fine if he did. They could be friends. Iris always liked to make new friends, though she’d never had any that made her feel quite like he had.
Or maybe that hour hadn’t really meant anything, and even friendship wasn’t in the cards. She was always meeting people and having good conversations with them, and then never speaking to them again. Everyone said “See you around,’ it didn’t actually mean anything. Here she was, lying awake at—she glanced at her alarm clock—2 AM! over a boy who was too adorable not to have a girlfriend and who probably hadn’t thought of her since they’d parted ways.
But still. She hoped she would see him again. Soon.
Barry Allen lay in his apartment bedroom, a movie playing next to him on his computer. The closing credits rolled, and he groaned in frustration. It had been a two and a half hour film that always put him to sleep, which was why he’d put it on in the first place. So why was he still awake?
Iris.
No no no no no.
Too late. His mind played the image of her sitting on that bench, talking animatedly about her future career, and his heart stuttered pathetically. He was so far gone on her, and there was no turning back. Since their parting all he could think about had been her. She was beautiful. And he didn’t particularly mean it in a physical appearance sort of way—though he hadn’t been able to help but notice the perfect shape of her lips or the sparkle in her dark brown eyes—she just was.
When they had made that first eye contact at that party it had hit him like a train. He’d looked into her eyes and felt like he saw something so familiar and warm that transported him back to his childhood, when he had been so happy and loved. When he saw her she had been frowning slightly, her brow furrowed, and he wanted nothing more than to see what she might look like when she was happy and laughing. And he had somehow made her laugh, being his usual unsmooth self.
He had meant it when he told her he felt like he knew her. Although all throughout the boring movie his mind had drifted to all the things he didn’t know about her, things he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought to ask. Against his will he had formed a list of questions for the next time he saw her, ending with one he knew he would never actually voice.
Are you in a relationship?
It hadn’t seemed like she was in a relationship. She was at a party with her friend (Barry wondered for a second if that had been her girlfriend, but reminded himself that she had called the girl her roommate). She had held his hand for the short walk back to the house. He’d thought the hand-holding was an intimate, romantic gesture, but it also felt like when he was little and everyone held hands all the time just because they were friends.
The credits finished rolling, and the screen prompted him to choose another similar movie. Instead of futilely trying to distract himself, Barry closed his laptop, set it on his bedside table, and gave in. He allowed himself to replay parts of their conversation, to hear her laughter in his mind, to imagine a future conversation with her, one where he was less of a dork.
Eventually he dozed off in the middle of one of Imagination Barry’s suave sentences.
In the morning his first thought was an image of her face, his second the decision to find her today. She’d said “See you around.” What did that mean? Had she meant “If we bump into each other again someday a month from now I’ll say hi”?
Barry cursed himself for not asking for her number or some way to find her again. He brushed his teeth and thought of how she wanted to be an investigative journalist, smiling when he realized that she probably would be able to find him, while he had no idea where to begin.
Determined to wake up some more with a pot of coffee and focus on studying for an upcoming test and not a girl he might never see again, he padded into the kitchen. The only problem was that seeing the coffee pot reminded him of Iris and how last night she had mentioned in passing an addiction to coffee.
Quit it, he demanded his brain. Think of literally anything else!
He thought of how he needed to wash the dishes before his roommate became passive aggressive again. He thought of the periodic table, of what he might do over Thanksgiving break. Even the thought of his mom, which consistently brought on tears no matter how much time passed, led back to Iris.
Connecting with other people was rare for him, and he hadn’t ever clicked with someone so deeply in such a short amount of time before.
Barry gathered his school supplies and shoved them in his backpack, knowing that the only way he would get any work done that day would be if he went to the library. The other students quietly studying would guilt him into focusing on his work instead of staring into space.
Upon arrival he felt a sense of calm fall over him. Libraries always felt like another world. There was a low murmur on the first floor because students were allowed to talk there, but once he made it to the fourth floor, his preferred area, he got the usual feeling of walking into a bubble, cut off from everything. The fourth floor was where you couldn’t even turn a page without every single person hearing. Most of the tables and desks were full though with midterms happening next week for most people, so he rounded the corner where he knew he would come upon a group of armchairs. It wasn’t ideal since he always needed a stiff wooden chair to keep him from falling asleep, but he hoped the coffee would help out with that.
Only two seconds later his sense of calm fled, and his bubble was burst because who was sitting in the chair but the petite, dark-eyed beauty from last night? He stopped in his tracks, tempted to run away before she could notice him. What if she thought he was stalking her or something creepy like that? He’d never seen her before and suddenly he managed to see her two days in a row? Even he wondered how much of it was due to coincidence, and he knew for a fact that he hadn’t been following her.
Maybe this was a sign though—that they were meant to be friends and know each other. He registered a girl in one of the other armchairs notice him and follow his gaze to Iris. She raised her eyebrows at him in what he imagined to mean She’s so out of your league. Barry blushed and looked away from the area, agreeing with the girl.
In a flash he came up with an idea. It might be a little freaky if he just waltzed up to Iris while she was writing so intensely in her notebook, but what is she noticed him first?
He backtracked a few steps and walked between a couple of random bookcases. He then walked through to the end of the aisle, turned, and walked between the two bookcases right across from Iris’s armchair. She was maybe 10 feet away, so if she glanced up she would definitely see him. He examined the spines of the books, not comprehending any of the titles, watching her from the corner of his eye. She was still staring down at her notebook, biting down on her pencil adorably, not noticing him.
Barry tried to catch her attention by making his movements big and dramatic. The human eye was naturally attracted to movement, but apparently not the eyes belonging to intensely focused aspiring reporters. He crouched down to “browse” books on the lower shelves multiple times, reached up high and withdrew books from the top shelves. In the end, it was his clumsiness that finally made her tear her eyes away from whatever she was working on.
He been putting a book back on one of the shelves when it slipped from his hand. He tried to catch it before it could fall to the floor with a loud smack and make the students chase him from the library with pitchforks, but he only slowed the descent. The sound of the book hitting the floor was a lot duller than it would have been, but every pair of eyes nearby were on him in a heartbeat.
Barry sheepishly bent to pick up the book, avoiding making eye contact with the scornful looks. After he’d put the book back and was sure that everyone had turned back to their work, he chanced a peek over to Iris’s section, pretending to be looking around before finally settling on her.
She was staring at him, mouth slightly widened in obvious surprise. When their eyes connected, she mouthed his named.
Barry?
He raised his eyebrows dramatically, hoping to convey his fake shock at seeing her. Iris? He mouthed back.
She closed her notebook and packed her messenger bag before standing and tilting her head in the general direction of the stairs in a Come on motion.
Obviously, he scurried after her.
Once they were safely in the stairwell, away from the glares of stressed out students, they exchanged greetings.
“Wow, this is so weird. I was wondering if I’d ever see you again, and then I look up and there you are,” Iris spoke.
Barry laughed nervously and replied, “Yup, just…browsing books. Because this is a library. Where there are…books to browse.” He paused whilst she laughed at his awkwardness. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice you there.”
“Do you study here a lot?” she asked him, pausing at the 2nd floor landing to face him as he came down the stairs.
“Not much this year since my apartment is pretty quiet, but I didn’t think I could focus today without coming here.”
She nodded in understanding. “Me too. I didn’t get much sleep last night, so I thought if I stayed home I wouldn’t be able to resist my bed.”
Barry leaned against the stairway railing, feeling at ease and happy to be talking to her like this again. “Why didn’t you get much sleep?”
He watched her push a lock of hair behind her ear and smile shyly. “Oh, you know…” she began vaguely. “Sometimes I just can’t turn my brain off.”
There was a brief silence as they stared into each other’s eyes again, but then a guy came walking down the stairs, passing between them and breaking the enchantment.
“Hey, do you want—“
“We should—“
Barry and Iris laughed at how they’d both started speaking at the same time.
“You first,” she insisted.
He fidgeted with the straps of his book bag. “I was just wondering if you wanted to get out of here. We could—I don’t know—grab some coffee at Jitters and…talk some more.”
She was nodding eagerly before he finished the proposition. “I’d love that.”
“Good. Me too.”
Without another word they walked down to the ground floor and out of the library. And if their hands drifted together while they laughed and talked, neither commented on the fact.