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“What?”
Minju's arm drops momentarily, her epee hitting the mat lightly. Yunah smirks at her from behind her visor. They’re both flushed, facing each other in the sweaty gymnasium of their university, but Minju’s starting to sweat for a different reason.
“You heard me. Moka was smiling and giggling about her lover to me.” Yunah looks too smug for Minju’s liking. She says it in a sing-song voice, which would normally be funny but is currently anything but.
Lifting her visor, Minju fixes a glare onto Yunah. “When?” she demands.
I was with Moka for all of lunch. Was she giggling then? Did I not notice? Minju frowns; that can't be it. She never not notices Moka.
Yunah inches closer, lightly thrusting her epee towards Minju. She side-steps easily.
“During study hall today. She was going on and on—” Yunah punctuates her words with jabs from her epee.
“On—” Jab. “And on—” Jab. “And on—”
“Okay!” Minju interrupts impatiently. Her hand tightens around her epee as she raises it, leveling it at Yunah. “Just get to the point.”
Yunah, to Minju's satisfaction, looks nervous with Minju's epee pointed at her. She shuffles on her feet, her own epee wavering in her grip.
“Well, don't get your panties in a twist,” Yunah huffs. She drops into her stance. “I'm surprised you don't know, considering you two hang out all the time.”
Minju bristles. “She never mentioned anyone,” she grumbles. Her skin feels itchy, hot and crawling under the mask. She straightens up, dropping her epee by her side once more.
“I'm getting some air,” Minju declares. She flips up her visor and marches off of the mat. Yunah starts complaining, but Minju doesn’t hear any of it in her walk to the door. Minju nods when she passes Junghwan and Youngjae walking onto the mat, but her mind is preoccupied.
Moka is dating someone?
Sweat begins to dry on Minju's face, plastering her loose hairs to her cheeks. Overhead, the fan whirs dully, a buzzing white noise to Minju's jumbled thoughts. She pushes the double doors open and steps out, breathing the crisp early evening air.
Should I ask her? Minju contemplates going back in and grabbing her phone, but decides against it. She's probably still in class, for another—Minju checks her watch—half hour. I'll just wait.
When the clock hits 6:30, Minju packs her bag and waves goodbye to her teammates.
(By now, they know that she won't stick around for small talk—Moka's class ends at 6:45, after all, and it's a ten-minute walk to her side of campus. She’s long shrugged off the looks Yunah and the others give her for leaving so promptly to see Moka. It’s no one’s business but Minju’s after all.)
When she approaches the door of the classroom, however, Minju finds herself hesitating.
What if I scare her off by asking about it? Moka would have her reasons, right? And they don't keep secrets from each other, so if she wants to tell Minju, she will.
With this in mind, Minju peers into the classroom from the window. She spots Moka quickly, partly because Moka's the kind of person to choose one seat and sit there for the rest of time if she can help it. It's silly, but Minju finds herself smiling nonetheless at Moka's strict adherence to her routines.
At her easel, she's beginning to wash off her brushes and wrap them in their holders. Minju sees Iroha next to her, making small conversation as Moka packs.
Iroha's eyes flick up and catch Minju's in the window. She freezes.
Just as quickly as they meet, Iroha's eyes flit away from Minju's and her mouth moves more rapidly. She nudges Moka with a kick to her foot. Whether she purposefully did it or got flustered and forgot to switch to Japanese, Iroha says something in Korean. Minju strains her eyes to read her lips.
Girlfriend.
Moka's head shoots up, her hands pausing in her careful packing routine. She meets Minju's eyes across the room.
Minju smiles lightly, raising her eyebrows at Moka through the window. Her face pinks and she ducks her head, looking down at the brushes in her lap again.
Cute.
If Iroha knows about the mysterious lover, then maybe Minju will get to know, too. Not that she’s going to interrogate her, of course. Minju would just like to know, is all.
Moka finishes packing up and the two of them stand, making their way to the door. Minju meets them in the doorway.
“Hello!” She stands in front of Moka. Iroha, from beside her, smirks and bumps Moka's shoulder again. The motion makes Minju frown.
Perhaps for Minju’s benefit, Iroha says in Korean, “You get going first. I have some things to do.” Iroha waves goodbye to the both of them and begins skipping down the hall, bag swinging lightly on her back. Moka's watching her go, but Minju's watching Moka.
When Moka turns back to her, Minju tenses. Are you going to tell me? Minju thinks. Suddenly, she doesn't know if she quite wants to know about Moka's alleged lover.
Moka opens her mouth. Minju holds her breath.
“Can we go to the parlor? I want to get some ice cream before it closes.”
Minju deflates internally, but she gives Moka a smile anyway. Maybe she’ll tell me on the walk? Again, Minju’s not interrogating her. She’s just curious!
“Ice cream this late?” she teases.
Moka juts her chin petulantly. “You can't judge me. Ice cream is different in Korea than in Japan.”
Shaking her head, Minju takes Moka's bag from her arm and slings it over her own shoulder. She loops an arm through Moka's and tugs her towards the exit. Moka, giggling softly, lets Minju tug her along.
“Any particular reason why you want ice cream right now?” Minju asks.
Moka taps her fingers together in front of her. It’s insanely cute, or maybe Minju’s just insane, the waning sunlight seeping into her brain and making her think strange thoughts. After a moment, Moka responds.
“No. I just felt like it.” She looks up at Minju. In the dusk light, her eyes sparkle.
They make the rest of the way to the university ice cream parlor in amiable silence. Minju holds the door open and gestures for Moka to enter. This one is Moka’s favorite, partly because it’s open so late. Minju’s quite familiar with it, having made many an ice cream run with Moka when they want something sweet before their movie dates nights.
Moka detaches her arm and beelines for the counter. Dohoon, on his night shift, perks up when he sees her. A sinking feeling begins to make itself known in Minju's stomach.
Is he . . . ?
They start conversing as soon as Moka stops in front of the counter, leaving Minju to walk up to them in stewing silence. She wonders sourly what they could be talking so eagerly about.
Noticing her, Dohoon pauses and raises a hand in greeting.
“Minju!” he chirps.
“Dohoon,” she responds coolly.
Dohoon, undeterred, just keeps grinning. “What can I get you guys today?” He splays his hands out over the glass, where half-empty containers of ice cream stare back at them. Minju wants to scoff at the selection, but she’s a kind and courteous girl, so she doesn’t.
Moka taps a finger on her chin.
“Surprise me.” Her eyes nearly sparkle under the fluorescent lights.
What? Minju almost can't believe her eyes. Moka deviating from her routines? Why?
“I thought you liked mocha.” Minju furrows her eyebrows. ‘Cause you’re Sakai Moka, and Sakai Moka likes mocha ice cream. It’s one of the constants of the world, according to Minju.
Moka shrugs. Before she can answer, a voice cuts in.
“A girl can't switch things up anymore?” Dohoon drawls. Minju scowls. He turns his attention back to Moka.
“I recommend the blueberry delight. It's perfect for couples.” Then he, honest-to-god, winks. Minju feels like vomiting in her mouth.
Moka, to her horror, just blushes. Minju doesn't know which is worse: Dohoon's god-awful flirting, or Moka falling for it. All she knows is they’re both making her skin itch. Get it together, Park Minju.
She rubs a hand down her arm. Moka notices and looks curiously at Minju. “Are you cold?”
“No, I’m okay.” Really, Minju’s feeling much warmer now that Moka is looking at her again.
When Dohoon turns, Minju glowers at him.
“What would you li— oh, okay. Not in the mood?” Dohoon smirks at Minju's glare. She rues the day he stopped cowering under her glares. Where did this boy get the audacity, anyway?
Moka cocks her head. “It's okay,” she says, “we can share.”
Minju’s mouth drops open slightly, eyes widening at Moka. Did she just hear that right?
“Are you sure? Usually you don't like sharing spoons.”
Moka wrinkles her nose. “Not share spoons. Just the ice cream itself. Two separate spoons.” She gives Minju a weird look, like she was the strange one for asking what Minju thought was a very reasonable question. Ah, my head hurts. I just wanna take Moka and leave.
She laughs at Minju's reddening face. Stupid, stupid, Minju curses internally. Of course she didn't mean sharing spoons.
Dohoon, the bastard, is just laughing behind the counter. He places the blueberry monstrosity—when did he make that?—on the counter and rings them up. Minju wants to reach over and tug his stupid ice cream parlor hat down his face so she doesn’t have to deal with him anymore.
“Usually it's 10000 won,” he chirps, “but I'll give you the Valentine's Day discount. 2140 won off.” Thankfully, they’re spared from another one of his corny winks.
“It's not even Valentine's Day yet? It's tomorrow,” Minju retorts.
Dohoon shrugs, a smug smirk on his face. “What can I say? Love is in the air.” The way he says it, like he knows something Minju doesn’t, annoys her all over again. What’s wrong with me today? Ever since Yunah told her that Moka was dating someone back at practice, Minju’s been feeling so out of sorts.
Minju scowls again. “You're so cheesy,” she tells him. “I don't know how Moka can stand you.”
He shrugs again, his stupid hat bobbing with the motion. Minju wants to flick it off. “That's fifteen years of friendship for you.”
Minju bristles. She doesn't like being reminded of Moka and Dohoon's long history, longer than Minju's measly three years. She’s Moka’s best friend now, damn it, not like Dohoon’s childhood best friend status.
Moka begins to pull out her wallet, but Minju holds out an arm. “Let me,” she tells her smoothly.
She hands the payment to Dohoon and grabs the cup and two spoons with one hand, taking Moka's hand with the other. Minju doesn't bother bidding Dohoon goodbye, but Moka throws a wave over her shoulder as they march out of the parlor. This girl is so kind. Truly a role model for all people.
Outside, the sun has set even more. Their shadows are longer, cast over the pavement.
“Let's eat this on the way to the dorms,” Moka suggests. She takes the cup and spoons from Minju's hand and loops their inner arms together. She takes a bite.
“Is it good?” Secretly, Minju hopes she says no so they can toss the offensive thing into the trash. Since it's a new item, one Moka hasn't tried before, Minju is almost certain she won't like it.
True to her guess, Moka's nose wrinkles slightly.
“Dohoon has . . . interesting taste.” She drops her spoon into the cup and picks up the other one, scooping ice cream onto it. Moka holds it in front of Minju's mouth.
“Try it,” she says softly. The two of them come to a stop under a streetlamp, the faint golden light bathing Moka in a warm spotlight.
Minju begrudgingly opens her mouth, biting the ice cream off of the spoon. The flavor is immediately sweet when it hits her tongue. Unfortunately, Minju is less picky than Moka.
Moka peers at her expectantly. “Do you like it?”
Minju weighs her options. If Moka doesn’t seem to like it too much, then . . .
“No. It's too sweet.” Moka nods in understanding.
“I'll eat it, though, so we don't waste food.” Minju's guilt strikes then. Damn it.
Moka smiles knowingly. “Sure.” Her tone is light and lilting.
They continue taking small bites from the cup, leisurely strolling towards Moka's dorm. All the while, Minju is getting deeper and deeper into her own head as she walks side by side with Moka.
Should I ask her about the lover thing?
Minju glances sideways. Moka has a faint smile on her lips, face turned to the night breeze and eyes closed. Minju thinks she'd like to preserve this look, where Moka looks soft and open and not like the guarded, wary high school transfer student Minju once knew her as.
She's smiling more, Minju thinks. She's glad.
When they reach the foyer, Minju drops the empty ice cream cup into the trashcan. The foyer is mostly empty, save for a couple of students. Wonhee waves from the back when she notices them, both headphones on as she studies.
Moka smiles, almost shyly, at Minju. They stand in front of the elevator, facing one another. Moka has her hands clasped in front of her, and she makes no motion to take her bag back from Minju.
This is it, Minju thinks. She's going to tell me about her secret lover.
But Moka does no such thing. She just continues staring up at Minju.
Finally, she can't take it anymore. “This is your stop, right?” Minju asks. Moka nods once. She looks expectant.
Minju is beginning to get confused. After a while, when neither of them have moved for some time, Moka sighs. She looks at the carpet beneath them. Her beautiful pink lips are pouting slightly, which makes Minju’s head spin.
“Good night.” She raises her head. Her eyes are deep, the brown reflecting flecks of green and blue in the fluorescent light. Moka’s hair falls in soft tousles around her face and on her shoulders, making her look like the perfect protagonist of a shoujo romance.
Who’s the love interest? Minju’s stomach twists again.
She just nods dumbly. Moka gives her a short nod too, then takes her bag and turns. When she calls the elevator, she looks over her shoulder again and finds Minju still watching.
Moka gives her one last wave as the elevator doors open. She enters and Minju watches her disappear behind the closing doors.
Minju gets the feeling that she missed something, but she doesn't know what.
When she turns around, she hears a slow clap. Wonhee has her headphones slung around her neck now, hands in mock applause. Her eyes look amused, like there’s an incredibly funny joke right in front of her.
“What,” Minju huffs. She stalks over to her.
“Oh, nothing,” she says, with an air of casualness that says there's definitely something. “Moka just seemed disappointed, that's all.”
Minju frowns. “Disappointed? Why?”
Wonhee smiles cryptically. “Why don't you ask her that?”
Minju narrows her eyes. “Cut the bullshit.”
Wonhee raises both of her hands. “Alright, alright.” She pauses. “Wouldn't anyone be disappointed without a goodbye kiss from their lover?”
Minju feels her skin prickle. “Not you too,” she grouses. “Why does everyone keep saying that Moka has a lover?”
Wonhee's smile drops. Minju’s stomach drops with it. “You don't know?”
Minju grinds her teeth. “Know what.”
Wonhee hesitates.
“Tell me.” Minju demands. She’s about to start pulling her hair out if people keep talking in cryptic clues around her.
“Maybe you should ask her yourself,” she says, to Minju's chagrin.
“You're no help,” she snaps. Minju marches over to the elevator. She punches the button to call a new elevator. Watching the numbers tick, Minju wills herself to breathe. Just be normal.
“Good luck!” Wonhee calls from the foyer. She flips her off without looking back.
“Bastard,” Minju mutters, punching in the number 5 for Moka's floor. She can't explain it, but Minju feels inexplicably hot, like there's an itch under her collar.
Okay. I'll just ask her if she's seeing anyone. No big deal. Minju taps her foot impatiently as the elevator travels upward.
What if she says yes? Minju feels a cold sweat break out on her skin. She feels unexpectedly hurt at the prospect.
Is it because she didn't tell me? Is that why I feel so sick? Minju feels the rolling in her stomach worsen as the number on the screen slowly ticks.
The elevator dings as the doors open. Minju takes a step forward, then back.
Do I want to know? Should I just leave? Minju feels uncharacteristically nervous. When the doors begin to close, Minju makes her decision.
Stepping into the hallway, Minju makes her way to Moka's door. The path is familiar, well-traveled; Minju's almost as familiar with going to Moka's dorm as she is going to her own across campus. The thought makes her heart ache.
She stops in front of the door and pauses again.
Come on, Minju. It's just one question.
Before she can lose her nerve, Minju raises a hand and knocks.
A moment passes, then another.
What if she already went to sleep? Maybe. Moka likes sleeping enough to just drop cold onto her bed, but she didn't seem dead-tired or anything earlier. Ah, I’m gonna go crazy.
What if her roommate answers the door? Minju considers the possibility, but dismisses it. She doesn’t know Moka’s roommate very well, and that’s because the girl is hardly in the dorm herself, always staying over with her girlfriend or something like that. Minju doesn’t really care, because it usually means she and Moka get the dorm to themselves. Perfect for movie nights and other activities.
Which brings her to her current dilemma. Why is she so nervous standing here? Minju's been here a million times, whether to study or hang out with Moka.
She's just about made her mind to go home when the door clicks, then opens.
Moka appears. She's in her soft pajamas, the one that consists of the flannel pants she has matching with Minju, and Minju's old shirt. Her hair's up in a towel and she's fresh-faced, like she just showered.
Like this, Minju loses her train of thought. She stares.
Moka's eyebrows furrow in concern. “Are you okay?” she asks cautiously.
Minju says the first thing she can think of.
“Don't date anyone else.”
What?
“What?” Moka looks confused.
Minju backtracks. “I mean, you're not dating anyone, right? Everyone keeps saying you are, but—” her hands falter, “—you didn't tell me anything.”
Hurt is clear in her voice. Minju realizes that's what it is. She's hurt that something this monumental is happening in Moka’s life and she didn't tell Minju.
Moka only looks more confused. “I am,” she says slowly.
Minju feels her heart being cleaved clean into two pieces.
Moka is dating someone?
“Who?” Minju asks, and realizes she doesn't want to know the answer. “Actually, don't tell me. Are you seeing them tomorrow? For Valentine's Day?”
Moka opens her mouth to respond, but Minju interrupts quickly before she can. Her voice shakes, vision blurring.
“Don't. Don't see them tomorrow. Be with me. For tomorrow, and every day after that. I can give you a better Valentine's Day. Don't date other people when I'm here. I won't allow it.”
Moka frowns. “You won't allow it?”
Minju nods vigorously. She knows she should stop, but her hands move of their own volition.
“I can't watch you date other people. It makes me sick.” Oh, God, what if it’s a girl. Minju had thought maybe it was a boy, and had gotten mad in her head, but now she considers the possibility that Moka has a girlfriend. Minju feels so sick with anger she shakes.
Am I homophobic?
Before Minju can consider that horrible thought, Moka, for some twisted reason, begins to laugh. Why she's laughing when Minju feels like keeling over, Minju hasn't got the faintest idea.
“Don't laugh at me.” Minju feels prickly, vulnerable.
Moka, frustratingly, laughs harder. “Why not? You're so cute.”
Cute? Minju feels insulted. “What's so funny?” She doesn’t feel like laughing, quite frankly.
Moka points. “You.” Her eyes are two crescent moons of amusement. It’d be cute if Minju wasn’t so confused.
Minju feels her eyes water again, hot tears welling up.
“Why are you laughing at me?” Minju feels like curling up on the floor. She sniffs, trying not to let her tears fall, but a traitorous drop rolls down her cheek.
She's sure she looks stupid, standing outside Moka's door with tears in her eyes while Moka laughs the night away. She sure feels stupid, because Moka hasn't even acknowledged the part where she's dating someone else.
“You don't get it, do you?” Moka reaches a hand out, tracing the teardrop trail with her finger. She retracts her hand.
“It's you. I'm dating you, or at least I thought I was.”
What?
Minju feels like a bucket of ice-cold water was dumped over her head. She plays back the events in striking clarity.
Everyone keeps saying Moka has a lover. They keep laughing at me. I just came up here and told Moka she can't keep seeing this person. Who is apparently me?
Minju blinks once, twice, dumbfounded.
“I'm your girlfriend?” Just speaking the words sends a thrill throughout Minju's body.
Moka nods shyly. “I thought you knew.”
Minju sputters. “How was I supposed to know?” This is all news to Minju!
Moka shrugs, smiling her little smile again. “You always carry my bag and pay for my things and walk with me, and you don't do that for anyone else.” She bites her lip, hesitating. “I read online that when someone does those things, it means you're special to them.”
Minju gapes. It's true, she does do all those things—does that mean they're dating? Have she and Moka been dating this whole time?
“I didn't ask you to be my girlfriend, though,” Minju points out.
Moka's smile drops. “You don't . . . want me to be your girlfriend?”
Minju's eyes widen, her hands waving rapidly in front of her. “No, no, that's not what I meant! I mean that I haven't asked you out properly.”
Moka nods in understanding. She looks relieved, the wrinkles on her forehead smoothing out. Her skin is so glassy, she looks like a doll. Focus, Park Minju. “I thought you just wanted to be subtle.”
Subtle?
“Why would I want to be subtle? I should make it loud and clear that I want you to be my— girlfriend.” Minju's cheeks heat up.
Moka smiles again, teasing. “Okay. I'll wait a little longer, then.”
“Don't wait too long,” Minju says quickly.
Moka nods. “Okay. You said you'd give me a better Valentine's Day, right? Better than my lover would?” Another teasing smile.
Ah. I did say that. She holds up a fist. “Don't worry! I'll give you a Valentine's Day worthy of your approval.” She gives Moka a determined look.
Moka stares at her, a soft smile on her face. Minju feels a vibration in her pocket.
Tearing her eyes from Moka's face, Minju checks her phone—it's a text from Yunah, warning her about curfew checks in fifteen minutes.
Minju sucks in a breath. Her dorm is twelve minutes away on foot. And she’s on the fifth floor of Moka’s dorm building.
Moka nods to her phone. “You have to go?”
Minju nods apologetically. “Curfew.”
“Okay,” Moka whispers. “Good night.”
They stare at each other for a moment longer before Moka steps back, beginning to close the door.
“Wait!” Minju holds an arm out, stopping her. Moka looks up in surprise.
“Wonhee told me to do this,” Minju says to preface. She takes Moka's face in both hands and places a soft kiss on her cheek.
When she leans back, Moka's face is steadily reddening. Minju is sure she's faring no better, face warm despite the chilly hallway.
“I'll give you the real kiss tomorrow,” Minju promises.
Then she turns and runs down the hall to the elevator. She stops in front of the doors, hands on her knees as she looks down at her sneakers.
Oh my god. I just kissed Moka. On the cheek, but still. And I told her I'd give her a real one tomorrow. Tomorrow as in Valentine's Day as in the day I said I'd give her a grand gesture to ask her out.
Minju's head is spinning, but she's smiling as she raises a hand to her lips. The phantom feeling of Moka's soft skin still lingers.
Another vibration from her phone snaps her out of her reverie. Minju checks it cautiously.
Yunah
ten minutes!!!
Minju feels genuine fear zip through her. Her floor’s RA is not forgiving in the slightest, to gay disasters or anything else.
As she sprints across campus, cool air whipping on her cheeks, Minju feels laughter bubble up in her. She thinks of grand picnics and bouquets of flowers all the way home.