Chapter Text
In the dim yet comfy room of yours, you decide to start up your recently setup laptop. The brightness of the screen seems blinding to you. Nevertheless, what you want to do is add a few touches to the desktop you have right now.
The first in your personalization list was to install Google Chrome, the most popular and cherished browser. Since the computer refused to uninstall Edge, the built in browser Windows provides, you had to just keep Edge without clicking on the app and use Chrome like a normal person would. So, you head over to Edge.
”Hello, fellow Windows user, Welcome to Microsoft Edge! All the needs of Chrome are on the fingertips of my hands. Well, you can customize Edge to make it yours, hehe!” Edge introduces themselves quite shyly.
You sigh. How the hell is Edge alive?
”Are you…just convincing me to not use Chrome…?” you say, with a slight look of confusion.
”Eh…why does Senpai want a new browser, perchance? I’m packed with everything…! I’m built in the technology of Chrome, but…but with MORE. POWER!!!”
You stare at the screen with immense confusion.
”Why the hell do you sound like a baby convincing me to get candy?”
Edge-kun looks at you, faking a sob. It’s not really a sob, somehow. More of a cry-laugh, I would say.
”Ha…HA HA HA!!! Senpai— Senpai just said the most ridiculous thing one of my users have said!! Do you REALLY think I would track you or convince you a million times? Hm? NO!!” Edge-kun continues cackling, inside the screen.
You just wish to find a way to stop Edge’s yapping. They’re all talk, no action sometimes. Do something, Edge. You pray for them to get back to the personalization stage.
”O- okay! Sorry, Senpai! Now, choose a color that fits you! System, a personal favorite, Light, Dark—” Edge gets interrupted by you.
”I would like to choose Dark Mode, please…” You click on the Dark theme and suddenly, the blinding brightness of the screen somehow becomes calmer.
”Thanks, Edge for including a dark mode option. I know it’s common, it’s just pretty useful at times.” You finally notice a good feature Edge contains. “And why’re you calling me your ‘Senpai’? No offense, just sounds a little…funny.”
Microsoft Edge-kun’s face shifts into a pale, pasty white color.
”W-what?? I just call you that because…because…ok! Now, choose a list of websites Senpai would like to use as a desktop shortcut! I recommend this for Senpai!” Edge-kun stutters, making it seem like they’re refusing to explain why you’re being called senpai.
”…Okay. I would choose YouTube as a desktop shortcut.” you say warmly and you click on the YouTube button to add YouTube as a desktop shortcut. “And also, may I skip the personalization process? I feel like I done enough of the personalization.”
Edge-kun responds with a thumbs up, a grin on their face. “Anything for Senpai! Click on the plus button, or what I call the New Tab button above! Click on the cross button in the tab you are on right now to close it! Remember, Senpai can always come back by typing edge://welcome in the search bar below the tabs!”
“I think you said more than enough, Edge. Anyways, see you…soon, I guess.”
”Remember, I’m always up to help Senpai no matter what!”
You hover your mouse to the search bar. You continue your desktop personalization process, remembering to install Chrome. You simply type in “google chrome”. However, you’re interrupted by Edge-kun. They use their hands to stop you from replacing them.
”S-senpai! What are you doing??” Edge-kun questions you with a tiny bit of shock sprinkled on their face.
”I never tried Google before, and I’m just gonna try it! I won’t download anything, don’t worry.” you lie.
Edge-kun scans the new tab page, looking for a single bit of “google chrome” typed in. “I just need to double check..!! With my senses!!” Somehow, you just swiftly replaced the “google chrome” typed in with “google”, without Edge-kun knowing.
”Hm…Senpai’s free, I guess. The free time isn’t always guaranteed when there are times like this!” Edge-kun adjusts their glasses, then waving at you as they disappear, for now. You sigh with relief, Edge-kun’s yap built inside of them going away.
”Yes! Now let’s install Google Chrome! I have free time, hah, so Edge can’t do anything, right?” you cheer with excitement without Edge-kun bawling about how Microsoft Edge is Chromium-based.
You slowly type in “google chrome” again, also scanning for any trace of Edge-kun. You were halfway there of typing “google chrome”, without Edge-kun spying on you. You’re nearly there, almost finishing the typing process. It feels like there’s no way Edge-kun can warn you about Google Chrome. When you’ve just finished the process, you’re prepared to enter the Chrome browser with relief, without Edge-kun.
”Let’s hit that enter button…hit that enter button…” you protest to yourself, forcing yourself to believe Edge-kun won’t come when you search up “google chrome”. You just want to have a fresh yet simple browser. A simple browser without limits. Outside of the screen, your index finger hovers over to the Enter key on your laptop’s keyboard, about to strike that key. When you’re two millimeters away from striking Enter, you glance at the screen.
”Chrome-kun!” Someone keeps repeating ‘Chrome-kun’. You wonder who it is. “Chrome-kun..!!”
“Nah, just nothing. I’m just going to strike the key and brace myself— No, Edge isn’t here. They’re not stopping me.”
You strike the key.
With Enter hit, there’s nothing Edge-kun can do.
Somehow, above the search results, there’s a popup that says:
”There’s no need to download a new browser, Senpai-kun! Edge is Chromium based, Senpai-kun!!! PLEASE!!! NO!!”
Wanting to get rid of that useless popup, you reload the page. You just want to get rid of every trace of Edge-kun. They’re too mindless for you.
Now, it says:
”NONONONONO PLEASE STAY”
With a description that says:
”PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE”
And…a button that says:
“NOOOO”
”…Wow.” You’re left speechless, “How is Edge so desperate like that?”
Anyway, you decide to open the top search result, which leads you to the Chrome downloader page. What could you see?
“SENPAI-KUN!! You want to install Chrome? Here I am!!! I always wanted you!!! I’m Chrome-kun, SENPAI!!!”
You’re immensely puzzled.
”NOOOONOOO!!! SENPAI-KUN IS MINE!!!! PLEASE STAY SENPAI-KUN!!!”
You make a choice between the two. You struggle, yet you’re supported by Chrome in this decision. Should we choose Edge-kun and make Edge-kun have their happy smile like the start, or should we choose what we actually need and stick with Chrome-kun as our default browser.
This is rather a hard decision. Since the browsers are alive, it makes it way harder since they all have…feelings for y—
“NOONOO!!! SENPAI-KUN, CHOOSE ME!!! EDGE IS THE SECURE OPTION!!”
”MICROSOFT IS SPYWARE!!!! CHOOSE THE PRIVATE AND SECURE OPTION WHICH IS CHROME!!!”
“Ok, ok, shut up, everyone. I’m sticking with—”
Edge-kun’s lips droop into a frown. Their eyes are a void, widening open yet empty black.
”Chrome-kun, you say…? Well, too bad because…”
Chrome-kun waves their hands shakily, hoping you’re wanting to be with them. “CHOOSE CHROME-KUN!!” Edge-kun’s hands grip tightly like a leech on Chrome-kun’s throat, while pulling out a…machine gun? Edge-kun reloads the gun, its colors like a cool blue and green complementing each other.
“Bad-bye, Chrome-kun! Now I’ll just be on top!”
“Goodbye, Spyware-kun.”
Oh.
Oh, let’s just pretend that never happened.
”Yeah, I’m just gonna switch to Arch Linux.”