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Clarisse hated camp Half-Blood.
Mosquitos got in your cabin while you slept, campers whined like damn toddlers when it was apparently too hot out for sword practice, and not to mention someone was always in mortal danger.
Actually, that was kind of fun.
It wasn’t like anywhere outside of camp had anything better to offer, though. She hated it much more out there. The mosquitos at camp weren't actually that bad, sparring was fun as long as she got a good fight out of it (and that was most times), and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she felt proud seeing other campers, especially her siblings, grow into proficient fighters. So, she tolerated camp.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”
Clarisse swivelled around, startled. Immediately, her shoulders relaxed when she saw who it was.
Y’know take back what she said— she actually more than tolerated camp, now that she had a girlfriend.
Silena, white cane in hand, came down to the end of the dock where Clarisse sat.
This can wait, she thought, and made space for Silena next to her as she closed the journal at her side. The ratty leather book was already a quarter full. She’d started journaling after the battle of Manhattan, albeit very begrudgingly to Will’s suggestion. Coming to the lake and sitting in her silence has become somewhat of a ritual since then. She didn’t want to admit that it was working; that she didn’t zone out, jaw and fists clenched nearly as much as she had in the weeks following the battle.
“Y’know your siblings are awful at keeping an eye on each other when they’re not on the battlefield. When I asked if any of them had seen you Tyler said he saw you at the big house a week ago. Helpful.”
Clarisse huffed, “Yeah, that checks out. Someone need me? One of the punks do something stupid?”
Silena hummed, “mm, no. I just wanted to be with you.”
Clarisse looked up and met her face with a faint smile. It hurt a little bit, to look her in the eye. Miraculously, Silena had survived after her stupid (brave) hero’s stunt taking on a drakon; but, it left her with deep acid scars that pitted and pulled at her features. She lost one eye, and the other was scarred from the drakon's breath. It didn’t hurt to look at her because of the scars, of course not— battle scars were part of being a demigod— but Clarisse felt guilty for the incident, especially now that they were dating. Silena had worn her armor; in all reality, it should’ve been her. Though, that wasn’t what was on her mind today. That wasn’t the only reason it hurt.
Clarisse leaned her head on Silena’s shoulder, “Can we just, stay here for a bit?”
Her voice wavered a little. It never did that, even in front of Silena. Unsurprisingly, Silena noticed right away.
Her brows furrowed and she took Clarisse’s hand— and even though they’ve literally been girlfriends for over three months, she flinched away.
“Love, what’s wrong?”
Clarisse let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re a horrible liar.”
“...Today is, um, it’s the anniversary since I left home before coming to camp.”
Silena spun a ring on her thumb, “Is that a good or a bad anniversary?”
Clarisse dropped her head in her hands, “I don’t even fucking know. I don’t want to go back. I’m glad I’m gone, but fuck— I just wish it was different.”
There was silence for a few moments, before Clarisse felt something touch the back of her neck; Silena’s gentle hands as she started braiding her hair.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about your life outside of camp. You don’t have to, but I’ll listen either way.”
Clarisse could feel her lip shake. In anger or grief, she hated it either way. She couldn’t hold onto this forever. Not when she had the chance to finally put it behind her.
“My mom wasn’t… she was harsh. Knowing her, I understand exactly why Ares is my father. Though she, um, she was fine to deal with on most fronts. I never told her I liked girls, too. I didn’t really have to ask to know what she thought about it. She wasn’t even religious either, just damn mean.”
She felt Silena rub gentle circles into her tense shoulder.
“A few months before I came to camp, I started dating a girl from my school. We mostly hung out in town, so my mom never knew. One time, I thought she’d be out of the house and I’d be in the clear to have her over, but my mom found us in my room and…”
She felt the hair on her neck stand from the memory. Clarisse remembered it so clearly- how could she not? It’s the last memory she has of her mom; the screaming; the gun.
Her mom came into the room with takeout she’d picked up for dinner; she wasn’t supposed to be home till the next day, so Clarisse didn’t lock her door. Her mom didn’t say anything, but her face changed; something Clarisse didn’t recognize; something that scared her.
Clarisse tried to explain, to tell her that they were just friends. Her mom still didn’t say anything. She just left. Then, she came back with the shotgun. That’s when the screaming started.
She doesn’t remember most of it, except little bits– insults, threats, to her and her girlfriend. After her girlfriend left with a flurry of apologies, her mom stopped yelling. She put the gun on the table, and left. Where to, Clarisse didn’t know, but she knew she had to leave, too. So, she left without another word. What her mom would’ve said to her when she returned, she didn’t want to know.
That was the only battle she never picked. About a week later, she was found by her grumbly older satyr protector and brought to camp. She hasn’t seen her mom since.
“Hey, love?”
Clarisse shot her head up. Her thoughts were running.
“Sorry. I- she, um… She threatened me and my ex when she found us. It was pretty ugly, and I left that evening. I stayed on the road for a bit, then my satyr protector came to get me.”
Silena pulled her into a deep hug, but no pity crossed her face. Clarisse melted.
“I’m sorry.” she muttered into Silena’s shoulder,
“we watched our friends die in a titan battle five fucking months ago, you were permanently hurt on my behalf, and I’m sitting here complaining about my mom.”
“Clarisse LaRue.” Silena took Clarisse’s face in her hands and tilted her head so their gazes met.
“There isn’t a thing in the world you have to be sorry for. Not about the battle. Not about your mom. Not about me. What your mom did, that's awful. That blatant hatred and violence to her own daughter is horrific, and I say that knowing we have spiteful gods for parents. No one should expect you to just get over how she treated you.”
She paused, “If it helps, I don’t want to go home either. We both have a home here.”
Clarisse furrowed her brows, “why don’t you want to go home?”
Silena let go of Clarisse’s face and looked down at the water, one hand moving to fidget with the folded cane at her side.
“My dad doesn’t know about our world. We were father and daughter but that was it. We weren’t really close, mostly because he was entirely busy with work. I haven’t spoken to him in years, but I don’t think I could go back to him and explain this.”
She gestured to her face, “I think I’ve probably told you a million times already, but it’s been… a lot, adjusting to everything. My cane isn’t really well suited for most of the trails around camp, and even though people have been super helpful, there’s just- so much about living is visual until you don’t have that. It’d be hard to adjust anywhere, but I think I’d much rather be here than back in.”
Silena brought her gaze back from the water to Clarisse, “What I mean to say is, we have people here. People that take us as we are and accept it fullheartedly.”
Clarisse sighed and scrubbed at her watery eyes.
“We can figure stuff out together. We have time, and it sounds like neither of us plan on leaving camp anytime soon.”
“Exactly. We can both figure out how to live again.” Silena leaned back, lips pursed in thought, “say, how do you think a hellhound would be as a guide dog.”
Clarisse snorted, “What?” She elbowed her girlfriend, “I think you’ll have to find something that can fit through a damn door.”
Silena snickered, “maybe a miniature pegasus would be better. Did you know they’re a thing? Most of them have dove wings. I think they’d suit me well.”
Clarisse couldn’t help but smile, “They would, but why not a regular dog?? Like a normal person?”
Silena gave her a teasing kick to the shin, “well first off, we’re not normal people, we’re demigods. Second off, why have a lab when I can have a tiny flying horse!”
They both burst out laughing at the idea. They probably sounded crazy, but at Camp Half-Blood, that was exactly what normal sounded like.
The two of them stayed at the dock till sunset, missing dinner and the campfire. Mosquitoes started coming out and biting them in the dewy evening, but that was okay.
Clarisse quite liked camp Half-Blood