Chapter Text
Once again, Kenji was pacing around the agency office. He had done this yesterday, and the day before, and almost every day for the past three months.
It was something he needed to do, regardless of how laborious it felt. Unlike the farm at home, the agency was much stricter on the amount of food Kenji had to eat. Doctor Yosano had cought onto his disordered eating habits early into his career at the agency. She, along with everyone else at the agency, wanted Kenji to be eating enough. This meant Kenji gad to walk off the calories he ate in order to stay malnourished.
Kenji didn't understand why his friends at the ada cared about how much he was eating. As long as he was hungry, he was useful, and that was all that matters, wasn't it? At least, that was how his family saw it. He was much more beneficial to the farm when he was stronger.
Kenji thought that at a place like the ada, this sentiment would only be more correct. When strength is necessary for self defence and the protection of others, not just run-of-the-mill farm work, it should be achieved regardless of the cost.
And I'm really feeling the cost now, Kenji thought, feeling his feet begin to ache from nearly 2 hours of continuous pacing.
He was hungry. Physically hungry. This was something he had long since grown used too. In fact, it had become something he enjoyed. It meant he was doing well. That he was succeeding. That he was remaining an important member of the agency.
However, the mental hunger was an entirely different story. No amount of experience could make it bearable. Kenji's mind was begging him for food. It was the only thing he seemed to be able to think about. It was a relentless, intolerable agony that would only be satiated by food. He desperately wanted to make it stop.
Instead, he reminded himself that giving in to his cravings, to his weakness, would make him worthless to the agency. It was only an hour until his mandated lunch. Soon this would briefly be over. He forced himself to walk faster.
"Oh, Kenji! I have a lot of papers here. Do you want to help me with some?" Atsushi called brightly. "You look a bit bored"
Kenji turned to face him, considering his options. On the one hand, working with Atsushi would mean he would have to stop pacing. His mind was also foggy from hunger, and he didn't think he'd be able to properly do his work. Atsushi could notice Kenji's distraction and tell doctor Yosano. He didn't need her worrying about him more than she already did.
On the other hand, paperwork would serve as a distraction to the horrible food noise and the hunger pains threatening to tear Kenji's stomach in half. Plus, he was sure Atsushi would be even more concerned if he chose not to do his work.Kenji wasn't the kind of person to be lazy or unhelpful.
"Sure! Thanks for giving me something to do. I'm happy to help" Kenji lied, hoping the smile on his face was convincing.