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angel clicked open his phone and found his finger subconsciously hovering above aki's
message contact.
a silent afternoon in his room, angel splayed out on soft quilts, eyes dull with boredom.
he had been aimlessly doomscrolling for the past few hours. it was a precious day exempt from classes, a contrast to his typically packed schedule.
and he hasn't even gotten to see aki.
his thumb twitched above the profile picture. he had set it to a simple photo of aki, the only one he had. it was when they had first met, an average day in the school cafeteria, and bonded over their taste in ramen.
why am i always thinking about texting him? angel frowned. he had never understood the liking he had taken to aki. he was but another average musician in a prestigious art college.
angel, ignoring his own attempts to feign indifference, quickly found himself making up an excuse to see aki.
"wyd? i'm having trouble with a piece. i would appreciate your feedback on it."
angel knew himself he would never need any sort of input from someone lower than him. he knew that his pieces would never lack technicality, and that his form was perfect. he knew that aki, someone who had little background in music, could not give him effective advice.
but he needed to see him.
the angel kept staring at his message as it sat unsent. is it really okay to be begging for his attention like this? will he recognize my desperation and find out…
he sat there, on his dorm bed, as the silence of passing time enveloped the air. suddenly, a small bubble popped up on his screen.
angel's eyes widened. aki was texting him first?
"angel. i need to see you. come to practice room 4, asap."
angel froze.
huh? he needs to... see me... practice room... asap...
an emotion which could barely be described as raw excitement blossomed from the bottom of his heart.
he needs to see me. he needs to see me. he needs to see me. he needs to see me-
angel's fist wrapped around his phone as his eyes widened, absorbing aki's message as much as he could. the effort left his slim fingers shaking and a reddish imprint snuggled into his palm.
ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh
angel was now situated in an upright position, his back to the bedframe and legs straddling his arms and phone.
why am i so excited?
his brows furrowed as he set a stony and puzzled expression, but internally, his chest felt as if it could explode.
stay calm. stay calm. it's just. aki. now you have to respond.
luckily, angel had strategically turned his read receipts off, to give him time to plan and rethink his responses. hastily deleting his previous message, angel typed in his reply.
"ok"
cold. will he think im dry? but if i respond any differently, he'll notice...
angel had always maintained a calm and well-collected image in front of aki. who knows how aki would think of him if he suddenly revealed how he really felt every time he was around him?
angel scrambled out of bed to stare at himself in the mirror. his hair was a gross mess after a day of bed rotting, and he was in his pajamas from the night before.
aki would hate me if he saw me in this...
and so he quickly worked to find an acceptable outfit and spent too much time deciding if it was giving show off vibes that basically told aki he was trying to look good in front of him.
in the end, he had settled for a plain graphic tee that he picked up from target and simple gray sweats. a casual look he always wore.
it had already been twenty minutes since aki sent his message. angel nearly bashed his head in as he tore through crimson hair with a brush at devilish speeds.
sprinting at his absolute maximum speed, angel was at but a light jog as he hurriedly over to the main building. bursting through the door and hurrying up the stairs, his weak legs cried in effort at every step up the five flights.
finally, at the top of the staircase, angel nearly collapsed right at the door. yet he pushed forward, determined to meet aki as soon as possible.
he scurried down the long and seemingly eternal hallways until he reached the practice rooms. taking a right, angel knew aki was in the room at the very end of the passageway. number four. it was always empty, only ever occupied when aki used it.
as he neared the room, angel tried to slow his panting and wipe the sweat of his brow. he was not an athletic person at all. that five minute jog nearly killed him.
angel was now right outside the room. through the door, he could hear aki playing his piece.
the violinist mentally prepared himself. stay cool, stay calm. don't let him know... you're freaking out.
his hand on the handle already, angel quickly touched up on his hair through his phone before entering.
aki didn't even notice he had entered at first. as he stood in the room and closed the door behind him, angel watched as aki's fingers flew across the piano, his face concentrated and unknowing of someone else's presence.
cute... angel realized he had a stupid grin on his face and covered his mouth with his hand to wipe it off.
slowly, the piece came to an end, the music dimmed and aki came to complete stop.
...
angel had finally come.
aki was worried that angel would never show up. the second he had sent the message, he regretted it.
what if he hates me and doesn't want to help? worst of all, i asked him to come out on one of his free days. i'm the worst.
how aki gained information on the days angel was free is not important, of course. it wasn't like he had mysteriously attained his schedule and it wasn't like he carefully observed it daily.
the pianist had immediately noticed when angel has arrived. but being faced away from the door allowed him to pretend to not notice his entrance, and aki closed his eyes and tried to focus on his piece.
fuck, he's here. aki swore to himself. i can feel it getting awkward already! how can i meet his gaze? i'd best drag this piece on as long as i can…
a few minutes had, to aki's despair, quickly slipped by as the song came to a conclusion.
in the practice room, the sweet melody of the keys were quickly replaced with a burning air of tension and stillness. the two seemed to hold themselves as still as possible, as if one motion would set off a ticking bomb.
"angel," aki seemed to finally croak out. he shuffled on his seat and turned around to face the violinist. "what do you think?"
something flushed over aki's body as he finally set eyes on the boy.
angel stood behind him in a large, oversized tee, the collar sweetly slipping down his shoulders and revealing a peek of his milky collarbone. the ends of his sweatpants crumpled on the ground, too long for his legs. when aki finally stole a glance at his face, angel's cheeks were rosy and his mouth was slightly parted, soft gasps of air being pulled through his pink lips, as if he was out of breath. topknot quickly looked away, feeling a sense of embarrassment.
motherfucker, aki found himself biting his inner cheek to stop him from blurting out. and its just… his usual clothes. what the hell?
"aki," angel spoke quietly. blue eyes quickly snapped up to meet red. "its good. of course. you always are."
"h-huh? what?" aki stammered. "you… think so?" he blinked a few times, his fingers mindlessly tapping.
"yeah, of course." angel gave a small smile that turned aki's head right away from him.
oh hell no, aki slapped his hand over his mouth as his fingers dragged down a stupid grin that began to pull up the corners of his lips. but he just looks… so fucking… cute.
fuckk. i can't do this. why did i even invite him? i'm just a coward. i can't look him in the eye before turning away and i can't stop thinking dumb things. is it really just for advice…
something warm slipped onto aki's back, cradling the nook where his neck met his shoulders. heat spread down his left arm as fingers wrapped around his wrist. foreign hair curled beside his cheek, tickling into his chin. the same breathing from before now let gentle puffs into the sensitivity of his ear.
aki could not make one sound.
angel wrapped himself around the pianist, his chest pushed into aki's back as his hands slowly guided themselves to the others'. digits wrapped around wristbands as angel slowly lifted aki's hands above the keys.
"you have to use more emotion," a sweet voice whispered beside his ear. aki could barely stiffle a whimper as angel led his hands down the piano. "right now, you're too stiff… just relax…"
aki squeezed his eyes shut as a burning inferno pooled into his ears and cheeks. why the fuck is he so damn close? this is too intimate, i can't…
"hey, akii. aki. are you listening?"
"h-huh? shit. i'm sorry. i zoned out," the topknot apologized, and it was true. how could he possibly concentrate on the piece when angel was pressed against him, arms intertwined, breath mingling way too close for comfort?
"i was saying that you need to use more passion. it seems like you're only focused on raw skills right now. however, your technique is already good enough. what this piece needs, is your true feelings."
"my true feelings?" aki stared stubbornly at his lap, refusing to recognize the place where angel's hands enveloped his own.
"yeah," angel lifted his hands and aki immediately felt the chill of its absence. however, to his surprise, his fingers simply trailed up his forearm as they finally settled on his shoulders.
"aki, tell me. how do you feel? what are you thinking when you play this cadenza?"
"i don't know…maybe like, um, joy?"
"okay," even though he could not see his face, aki knew what he looked like in this moment. "if that's what you feel, then you need to embrace it. perfecting the craft should be second right now."
"i understand," aki nodded. "thank you," so why were his hands still resting on his shoulders?
"how about you try again? just these few measures. and focus on that joy." as angel leaned forward to point at the measure lines aki finally caught a glimpse of his face from the side.
the pianist began to play, eyes closed as the room around him surrendered into darkness.
just focus on the joy…
its not fucking joy is it.
joy? hell, it was more like fervor. aki could only feel a seething intensity running through him because it was angel right behind.
what is this? what is it? all i know is that… it feels so good and so intense.
his fingers slammed down on the ivories with a clear difference than before, something powerful tangled with each note that strum from the bass of the wood. quickly, aki had finished the passage as the last note left a wavering vibration in the atmosphere.
aki felt short of breath, his chest heaving up and down as he recovered from his sudden burst of enthusiasm. "um, wow," he choked. "now what do you think?"
angel did not speak. it seemed like he was waiting for his answer for an hour. impatient, aki finally turned around to search for the answer in his red eyes himself.
this was definitely not what he expected.
angel seemed a bit too red. his eyebrows were awkwardly furrowed and his mouth was pulled taut. beneath his chin rested the same hand that had previously brushed over aki's neck.
when his optics finally met aki's, they quickly darted away. huh? did he not like it?
"it was good," angel suddenly turned around, teaching aki to savor every moment he had to appreciate angel's face. "it was great. it was amazing, aki, you're amazing,"
"huh…" aki felt himself getting abashed. this praise was certainly rare to hear from angel.
"i think that's enough for today. i'm sure you've been working on this piece for many hours. how about we go take a break?" the redhead quietly suggested. aki sprung right up, unable to hide his eagerness.
"sure," he finally mustered, a faltering cool voice failing to mask the elation below. "where should we go?"
angel turned around to face aki. "my dorm?"
...
"settle down, make yourself at home."
aki watched as angel nestled himself onto his bed, clearly comfortable.
aki had never been inside angel's dorm before. unlike angel, who had made himself familiar with aki's sleeping quarters, topknot had yet to see the place where angel slept every night.
the topknot lingered incongruously in the doorway, unsure of where to go. the dorm was compact and arguably dull, angel's clothes scattered around the ground, empty soda cans resting on his bedside, and a heavy presence of unfinished microwavable meals. the colorway was gray and dreary, something aki did not exactly expect from this musical prodigy.
"why are you just standing there? i've been in your dorm many times and you're never shy about it…"
"this is different." aki grumbled, averting his gaze.
angel pushed himself to the edge of his bed, patting the space beside him. it looked like an invitation too sweet to be true.
aki blinked. "come," angel said coolly. how the hell is he so calm?
aki self-consciously made his way over to the bed, steps careful as if there were bear traps laid down on the floor.
topknot sat on the mattress, slowly sinking into the softness of the cushion. next to him, angel shifted almost uncomfortably. as if he wasn't the one who told me to…
"i don't have a roommate,"
"i've noticed."
a few moments passed in complete silence. then another. and another. prickly friction seemed to both push the two away while keeping them shoulder to shoulder.
"why do you always wear that topknot?" the violinist broke the silence.
"huh? I don't know, it doesn't matter."
angel reached up as his pointer nudged the hairband. aki didn't resist as he slid the hair tie off.
his hair draped around his shoulders, framing his face and drawing attention to his features.
the redhead sifted his fingers through aki's hair. "you have such soft hair, though,"
aki didn't say anything. he knew that his ears were crimson bright, and that his cheeks were probably tinted pink. so he pressed his eyes closed, fighting the urge to twitch as angel gingerly stroked his head.
"hey, aki…" a feeling of deja vu trickled through aki as angel's fingers eased onto his shoulder, pulling away from his hair.
"u-um. yeah?" blue eyes darted away as heat simmered in his ears. "what is it, angel?" the last word slipped out but a whisper.
"i'm tired," angel murmured.
"tired of what?" slowly, angel began to cradle aki as his arms tucked themselves from behind. aki felt his breathing becoming shallow.
"i'm tired, aki," angel breathed. his warm voice sent shivers through aki. "i'm tired of hiding, and pretending…"
"p-pretending what?" aki's eyes were wide, his spine straightened as angel hung over his shoulders. "a-angel…"
the redhead drew his hands up aki's chest and onto his ears. gently tracing his ear piercings, angel buried his head in aki's neck.
"i'm tired of pretending that i don't love you…"
huh?
angel's voice was low and muffled. aki could feel every breath he took as the fabric grazed against his skin.
"angel. what… what do you mean by that?" aki bit his lip as his heart began to pound against his ribs. something hot and burning bloomed in his head until it felt like it would burst at any moment. and worst of all, the furnace at his shoulder was not helping.
the boy slowly looked up, one hand still cupped around aki's ear and another tugging on his collar. no words left his lips, but aki could read his eyes.
a solemn, wistful gaze bore into blue pupils. it was overwhelming, powerful, and silent, as aki felt a surge of emotion suddenly pour through his veins.
he grabbed angel's chin, jerking him up so that they were only a few inches apart. he could not look away, could not ignore this, as stormy gray eyes seemed to paralyze his whole body.
"angel, i…" aki looked down, suddenly feeling his courage falter. "you know, i-"
lips crushed onto lips as angel dove onto aki. pinned beneath him, aki surrendered as angel hungrily explored aki's heat.
"mfgh-" angel grabbed the other's chin as their tongue messily tangled together.
it felt so damn good.
the texture of his tongue sent shocks of thrill throughout aki's body as angel consumed his sensitivity. his back arched as he swung his arms around angel, pulling him closer. they barely stopped to breathe as they went animalistic, just like stray dogs lapping up a morsel of food.
finally, angel pulled back, breathing heavily. saliva beaded down his chin as angel lifted his sleeve to wipe it.
and angel smiled.
…
underneath him, aki struggled to catch his breath, mouth slightly open, eyes dazed, and a heavy blush painted onto his skin.
angel's hands were still on his chest, and he could feel his lover's heart racing. he seemed to be on cloud nine, face blank with pleasure and bewilderment.
"how was that?" angel crooked a smile as he shifted himself on top of aki. he had completely abandoned that so-called 'cool' persona.
aki didn't respond. angel couldn't help but grin as he watched aki give a blurred glance.
the redhead brushed the corner of the other's lips, picking up the drool left from before. then, devilishly, he lifted his finger and licked it clean, flashing a sly smirk.
angel basked in aki's reaction, absolutely loving it how his eyes grew wide and his cheeks grew even redder. it seemed that he was back in reality.
"a-angel, get off-"
angel grabbed aki's wrists as the pianist tried to pull him off. "why?" angel gave a frown, simply pushing himself deeper onto aki.
"p-please…"
angel fucking loved this. he never thought that aki begging below him would bring him such entertainment.
he leaned in, pressing his forehead onto aki's. "do you hate me?" he pouted.
"..."
for the next few hours, the only sounds in that room were wet and filled with fervor…
when angel woke up the next morning, aki was snuggled beside him. his face was so calm that angel couldn't bring himself to wake him up. he wished he could frame this moment forever.
it had been a few weeks since they had finally learnt that their feelings were requited. and aki had made himself very familiar with the scent of angel's bed.
his lover seemed to awake as he gave a low mutter. "angel…"
"good morning," angel cupped his face in his hands, watching as aki's eyes slowly fluttered open.
"oh…" the tips of his ears grew red as he remembered last night. "sorry for staying over so late,"
"no problem. no problem at all," angel smiled. aki trailed his hand over angel to feel the softness of his skin. what a sight to wake up to.
"don't you have classes today?" aki's dark hair spilled over the sheets.
"thats in the evening. im free all morning. shall we go grab breakfast-" as angel sat up, aki grabbed the back of his shirt.
"no… don't go… i want to stay here a little longer,"
angel gave a low hum of amusement. "alright," he tucked himself into the covers again, finding a comfortable state of affection.