Chapter Text
The last thing Sieun sees is the light fading from his eyes. The last thing Sieun feels is the pain spreading from his head to the tips of his toes. The last thing Sieun hears is the sound of hysterical screams, some were familiar, others were not. The last thing Sieun thinks about is Suho. Always Suho.
Sieun shot upright in bed as though he'd been struck by lightning. He blinked rapidly, taking in his surroundings. "...Huh?" he muttered as he recognized his old bedroom. More precisely, his bedroom in his father's apartment.
"Sieun-ah, sweetheart, get up. Abeoji has to leave soon but I want to have breakfast with my beloved daughter before!" he hears the familiar voice of his father. The last time he'd spoken to his father had been the day he was dropped off at Eunja—
DAUGHTER?
Sieun's mind screeched to a halt and his eyes looked down at his chest and
Oh no... Oh no, no, no!
Sieun hastily rubbed his hands all across his body only to discover there was considerably more on his chest and considerably less between his legs.
NONONONONONONONO
"Sieun-ah, don't let your poor Abeoji wait!" Yeon Gyujin almost whined but Sieun was way too occupied to process the situation to answer anything when his bedroom door opened and his father's head popped through the door.
"Nae sekki, what's wrong? You're never late when I make you brea—Sieun-ah? What's wrong? You look like—" What happened next could only be described as an out-of-body experience. His father sat down next to him, hugged him and rocked him like a baby. "Did you faint again? Do we need to go to the hospital? Do you want me to call your mother? Sieun-ah, do you hear me?"
"Yes... I'm fine," Sieun creaked, horrified by his own, his unmistakably higher voice.
"Sieun-ah, you frightened me!" His father wailed while tightening the hug around Sieun.
Me too, Sieun thought.
"Now get up, you must eat before going to school." With that, his father loosened the hug and got off the bed. "Do you need help to get up?" The man asked but Sieun shook his head, pushing away the blanket.
He watched his father checking his movements, ready to intercept a fall but when he stood before his father, the man nodded and left the room. Sieun looked around once more and when he spotted a mirror, his body almost moved by itself. He lowered himself slightly and took in the face that stared at him from the mirror.
That's... me?
Once again, he patted himself down, as if to check whether or not what he sees is real, but now he traced his facial features.
"I... At least I don't look different... only with longer hair," he said almost relieved, gathered his strength and left his bedroom, but he was met with the next whiplash: portraits of him and his father. "Wha—"
"Sieun-ah, I packed some lunch for you today, I know you don't like the cafeteria food too much and young girls like you think diets are necessary whereas I think you are perfect but Abeoji tried to remember what you like so... I hope you can enjoy the food," His father looked almost shy as he placed the lunch box next to his backpack.
"...Thank you, Abeoji," left his lips before he could properly process this development.
Does he... care? What the fuck is happening? Where am I? What kind of alternative universe is this?
"Sieun-ah, sit down and eat. Your egg's getting cold," his father ushered him to the table and Sieun approached his father, feeling almost like he was in trance.
"Thank you for cooking, Abeoji," Sieun bows slightly before he sat down only to be met with the most questionable expression he ever saw on his father's face. Irritation, disapproval? Sure. This?
Who is this man wearing my father's face?
"My beautiful daughter, always so thoughtful. You make me feel even worse now! Good thing I only leave for every third training camp, I couldn't imagine leaving you alone constantly! Aigoo, what will I do once you turn 18 and I can't stay home anymore? Why do the rules only give exemptions to sit out training camps for trainers with children under 18, ha? I want to stay with you until you're at least 30! I can't leave my baby all alone! Who will take care of you when I'm constantly away? Especially since you quit Judo and yes, I know you can defend yourself and no, I don't think that you are weak because you are a girl, but Sieun-ah... Abeoji always worries about you!"
What?
His father wiped away the imaginary tear before he continued, "Maybe they can extend the exemption when they see you again, Sieun-ah. The old ma-ehm, Kang Sungsoo would be delighted if you accompany me again to a tournament, Sieun-ah, but don't let him arrange a blind date for you and his grandson." His father shook as if he was reminded of something very, very unpleasant. "I'll die if I'd ever be related to this old man, I mean, yes, he is the Korean Judo Association and yes, he is rich but you can do so much better than his grandson, Sieun-ah! We will find you a good husband with a lot of money so you can do whatever you want, preferably with a room in his house where your old Abeoji can stay whenever he misses his baby too much! Actually, you don't need a husband, Sieun-ah, we can stay together until I die, that way I won't have to worry about losing you to some ungrateful bastard." Sieun listened in shock as his father lost himself in delusions.
What the fuck?
"Sieun-ah, don't look at me like that! Here, have some!" His father placed some meat on his rice. "You have to eat something, Sieun-ah," his father nudged the bowl to him and Sieun just nodded, then started to eat, while his father continued his tirade.
After breakfast, his father herded him into the bathroom to get ready. While brushing his teeth, Sieun shoved the obvious 'What the fuck happened?' to the back of his mind. Right now, the more pressing issue was what the hell he was supposed to do. So far, he'd learned exactly two things since waking up: first, he was, apparently, the female version of himself... of Yeon Sieun, and second, this version of his father was completely insane.
"Sieun-ah, hurry up, we need to leave in 10 minutes," Sieun heard from the hallway. "Sieun-ah, I put your uniform on the bed." His father added, which of course, led to Sieun's next existential question:
I'll have to wear a skirt... right?
Bracing himself, Sieun left the bathroom and moved to his bedroom, only to have his fears confirmed. There was, in fact, a neatly pressed skirt on his bed. As he carefully pulled it on, he couldn't stop staring at his bare legs. The skirt felt far too short.
"Sieun-ah, come on, three minutes left," his father reminded him as he approached Sieun's bedroom. "Nae sekki, are you sure you're alright?" His father asked, worry showing on his face.
"I..." Sieun stammered, not even sure what he wanted to say, because he can't stop thinking about his naked legs.
"What's wrong?" Yeon Gyujin crossed the room in three quick strides to stand next to Sieun, instinctively bent down to hide as much of his legs as possible, with his arms and the skirt. "Sieun-ah? Do you feel unwell? Talk to me."
"...There's too much... skin," Sieun mumbled. "The skirt's too short." When Sieun looked up again, he saw how the worry on his father's face turned into something lighter.
"I see," his father said, looking around the room. He opened up Sieun's drawer and pulled out something black. "It's May, but I think we can still get away with tights. You can always say you're cold. Here, put them on. We have to leave." His father pressed the tights into his hands and walked out of the room, leaving Sieun staring after him in complete disbelief.
Half an hour later, Sieun opened the car door when suddenly his father cleared his throat. Loudly.
"No goodbye kiss today? My beautiful daughter truly doesn't love her old Abeoji anymore..." the man whined and Sieun closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Whatever. I need to figure out what the fuck happened.
"Ah, Sieun-ah, you look so much like your mother when you glare at me like that," the man added with a smile while Sieun died a little inside. Still, he leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his father's cheek before scrambling out of the car. "Sieun-ah, have a great day and don't let Minji talk you into doing nonsense again, okay? Love you!" And with that, he closed the door.
Who is Minji? Was Sieun's question as he appraised the school building. IIdidn't even know Byuksan High had a girls' division. Or that it was this close. Not that I ever cared enough to find out.
When he walked onto the premises, a girl ran towards him, spreading her arms and opening her mouth to yell "SIEUN-AH! WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER MY TEXT?"
Huh?
The girl almost toppled him over when he was forced into a bone crushing hug. "Sieun-ah, now all the tickets are gone! Why didn't you answer me this morning?" The girl repeated her initial question and Sieun managed to read the name on the girl's nametag.
So that's Minji that Abeoji mentioned. Maybe she knows where I have to go. Here goes nothing!
"Minji... What is the fi-"
"Minji? MINJI? Minji... WHAT?" The girl suddenly yelled in Sieun's ear. "MINJI? WHAT COMES NEXT? SON MINJI-SSI? SIEUN-AH! YOU NEVER ONCE CALLED MINJI! ARE YOU SICK?" The girl only increased her volume, Sieun's ear was already ringing. "SIEUN-AH! DID YOU FORGET WHO I AM? I'M UNNIE! I'M YOUR UNNI!" She now cried, hugging Sieun again, who tried to make sense of what happened now.
Could this be Humin-ah... as a girl?
Then, before Sieun could protest, Minji lifted him clean off the ground and spun him around. Not two seconds later, Sieun decided that it was enough but every attempt to escape only made Minji squeeze harder to the point that he almost felt like suffocating.
"Let me down... Unni..." Sieun pleaded hoarsely and the girl stopped abruptly, put Sieun on the ground and smoothed out Sieun's long hair and uniform.
"Good. For a moment I thought my beloved Sieun-ah got swapped with an alien or something..." the girl mused while locking her arm with Sieun's.
Or something... right.
Sieun was guided to what he suspected was his classroom, but when Minji sat down, he didn't know how to proceed.
Where do I sit? What's first? Math? Korean? Do I have P.E.? Do I have—
"Sieun-ah, what's wrong? Why don't you sit down?" Minji asked from her seat, frowning slightly as Sieun looked at her. "Are you sure you're not an alien? I mean you usually tell me to stop yelling after three seconds." Sieun felt a strange kind of dejavu and nodded but the girl just laughed. "I don't know why you're so out of it today, but your seat is here, next to me," the girl pointed to the seat beside her, next to the window. "And before you ask, the first lesson is math, your favourite. Ugh." She added with a grin, watching as Sieun answered with a tiny nod.
Over the next few hours, Sieun learned that this world's Yeon Sieun not only had the best grades in school, but was also surprisingly popular with both teachers and students. The teachers seemed to appreciate how calm and well-behaved she was, the other girls continuously asked Sieun for advice on things like skincare or study strategies, but the strangest one that morning, was dating advice. As Sieun listened to one girl asking for advice for her next date with a boy from the boys school she'd met the previous Friday, he realised he had a serious problem: He had absolutely no idea whether this world's Yeon Sieun had any dating experience.
I certainly don't.
A loud snort from Minji interrupted his thoughts. "Naeun, you're waisting your time and you know it," Minji added with a laugh and the girl in front of Sieun, Naeum, only answered with an exaggerated groan.
"That can't be! She is too pretty! You told me even your cousin begs you to set them up and he's rich," Naeun protested and Sieun just looked around to find whoever she was talking about, which seemed to make Minji laugh even harder.
"But my cousin is also an asshole though. Hard pass. But Naeun, do you remember that guy from the boys' school who tried to hit on Sieun-ah on the stairs?" Minji asked before immediately breaking into laughter again. She had to wipe tears from her eyes before she managed to continue. "She kept looking around for us, straight over his head, because she genuinely thought he was talking to someone else. Then she just... walked away." Minji was now clutching her belly, almost tearing up of laughter and Naeun and the other girls around joined her. Only Sieun sat there frozen in his seat, absolutely mortified.
After surviving the following lunch break, the remaining lessons on Arts and Korean History and leaving the classroom, his first day posing as a girl at a girls' school came to an end. While Minji linked her arm with Sieun's, he didn't protest. His mind was occupied with one single thought: he needs to figure out what the fuck happened.
As Sieun walked to the bus stop to get to his hagwon, he realised that phone hadn't reminded him that class would start in twenty-four minutes. Throughout the ride, Sieun repeatedly glanced at this phone, not able to shake the uneasy feeling in his gut, especially when he checked his calendar, only to see that hagwon was not scheduled for any day either. These notifications had been part of his daily routine for years, even after changing schools.
When he finally reached the building and walked up to the reception on the second floor, the receptionist dipped her head, then looked at him strangely. Sieun was not so sure what to say now that he stood there. "I forgot..." Sieun sad, visibly uncomfortable. "...could you please give me the e-mail address of my tutor? I have an appointment nearby and won't be able to make it to the lesson." Sieun lies.
"What is your name?" The woman asked.
"Yeon Sieun," Sieun answered and watched how the woman typed in the name. When she knitted her brows, Sieun felt dread pooling in his gut.
"Your name... is not in the system. Are you sure you are in the right building? There's another hagwon next door," the receptionist suggested and Sieun needed a moment to gather his thoughts.
"Oh..." Was all Sieun could say at first. "Yes... seems like I'm in the wrong place..." He added, bowed slightly and left to the hallway. Sieun left the building in a daze, trying to make sense of what happened in this world. He sat down at the bus stop, pulled out his notebook and wrote down what he knew.
- I am Yeon Sieun
- I am female
- I live in the same apartment like before (before changing schools)
- My father looks the same, but he acts completely different
- I attend the girls' division of Byuksan High
- I'm no longer enrolled at my old hagwon
- There is no record of any hagwon in my calendar
When he finished that list, he looked at the paper intently and sighed deeply. "That's not much..." Sieun said and set the pen back on the paper. "Okay... How can I find out how I ended up here?"
.
.
.
The pen touched the paper again and again, but instead of writing something, he left behind nothing but scattered dots. "I have no fucking clue what is going on." Sieun groaned, put the notebook and pen down and dragged his hands down his face. "Maybe it's easier to start with the question what I need to know."
- How did I get here?
- Why did I get here?
- Is Suho alive?
- Is Eomma still my Eomma?
- Who is this world's Yeon Sieun?
- Why am I not attending hagwon?
- Who could help me with the situation?
- What am I supposed to do?
Staring at the list once more, Sieun could only sigh once more.
Is there anything I can actually verify? How did I get here? No. Why? No. Suho... maybe tomorrow. Maybe I can sneak into school and look if he's in the classroom. Eomma? I'll ask Abeoji if he has some childhood photos, maybe I'll get a clue. Hopefully he can tell my why I don't attend hagwon. Who could help me? Hm... JUNTAE!
Sieun froze, looking around as if he was making sure he was still trapped in this alternate reality. If anyone could even come up with a remotely useful theory about whatever the hell this is... It's Juntae.
In hindsight, impulsively heading to Yeongdeungpo-gu without a plan was easily one of the three stupidest things Sieun had ever done. Ever. Only 50 minutes later, he left Yeongdeungpo Market Station only to wander through the streets with absolutely no idea how he should find Juntae. As if fate hadn't already done enough to ruin his day, considering he was now a girl, it decided to throw Na fucking Baekjin into his path.
As soon as Sieun spotted the boy walking in his direction, he clutched the straps of his backpack tighter, looked to the ground and hurried up his steps.
Please don't look at me, please don't look at me.
"Baekjin!" A too familiar voice yelled.
Just when Sieun raised his gaze to look at that idiot Seongje, he collided with Baekjin. When he fell on the ground, his water bottle tumbled out of his backpack.
"I'm sorry," Sieun heard Baekjin say and hold out a hand to him. Sieun couldn't answer, he just stared at the hand, he just couldn't bring himself to take it. "Are you alright? I'm sorry, I didn't want to run int-" Baekjin said but was interrupted by a snickering Seongje.
"Just your luck! You find a pretty girl while walking down the street... does that mean we can finally end this stupid lovers quarrel between you and Baku? Look at those eyes! Look how she's glaring!" Seongje teased and Sieun saw how Baekjin retreated his hand to turn into Seongje's direction while face turned dark.
While Baekjin and Seongje glared at each other, Sieun scrambled on his feet. The movement seemed to tear Baekjin out of the moment, because he walked over to Sieun who was back on his feet.
"I'm really sorry, here, let me," Baekjin said and bent down to fetch the water bottle. "Are you sure you are fi-"
"Don't come any closer," Sieun growled, tore the bottle of the boy's hand and brushed past them when he heard Seongje whistle behind him. Once he rounded the corner, whatever Adrenaline built up in his system was drained and he leaned onto the wall, only to sink on the ground seconds eventually. Crouching there, he couldn't stop his tears from falling. Resting his forehead against his exposed knees, the tights apparently tore up during his fall, Sieun allowed himself to admit defeat. Whatever cruel game fate was playing with him... he had already lost.