Archive of Our Own

Everyone on campus agreed that they had the same opinion about Saparata Theria.

He was annoyingly exceptional: top of his graduating class at the University of Westhelm, three consecutive years on the Dean's List and counting, the student representative for the College of Engineering, and captain of Westhelm’s varsity basketball team despite carrying an academic load that would've made most people cry. Hell, there’s rumors that he’s already shortlisted for summa cum laude before the semester has even ended.

He was logical, methodical, and simply disciplined. Although at first glance, not many people would realize that because of his boisterous personality, humor, and laugh that’s enough to brighten up even the depressive episodes that the students in his university goes to. 

With that, people concluded that Saparata Theria is ridiculously gifted with intelligence, someone that you’d never think would make stupid decisions over trivial issues like love. 

And it could’ve been true, if and only if a person like Fluixon Aculon never came into his life, or in fact, never existed.

Yet he does, unfortunately, which meant Saparata Theria—or Saps, since his name is quite the mouthful—was perhaps the dumbest person alive.

—

Saps’ entire world ended on a random tuesday, he just walked out of a professor’s office after submitting a plate that was clutched the night before because his basketball training went overtime due to Micro and 5pyder’s bickering turning too physical—leading to a punishment that everyone in the team had to endure. 

Speaking of practice, he was supposed to head there after he finished his last class of the day, but all of a sudden, his phone vibrated in his pocket, once he fished it out, he saw that Flux had messaged him, and he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face before he even read the text he sent.

The moment Saps opened his phone, he suddenly came to an abrupt stop, as he felt his heart suddenly drop, and how the air around him suddenly became too cold despite the humid weather.

Flux:

I think we should end this.

Saps stared at the dark screen of his phone for a whole minute. 

Fluixon Aculon, an architecture major hailing from Infernus University, if you were to ask Saps if he knew anyone that could match his wits and intelligence, he would answer ‘Flux!’ in a heartbeat.

…oh, and he also forgot to clarify that he’s in a… very complicated relationship (situationship! but Saps despises that word with every fiber of his being, so he’d rather not use it right now.) with him,  which is why he’s in this predicament right now, spamming Flux with several texts asking for a clarification, or an explanation, anything. 

Because he knew Flux, and wasn't cruel to leave him hanging like this—distant? yes, difficult to read? absolutely—he was the kind of person who'd disappear into himself whenever things got too real.

But cruel? Never.

Yet even after all his texts, all he got was depressing one-liner replies that only fueled the whirlwind of thoughts piling up in his mind.

So Saps did what every rational person definitely shouldn't do.

He skipped his evening class, missed basketball practice, ignored the nineteen missed calls from his vice captain—Turntapp—and caught the first train across the city.

He was one hour and thirty-six minutes away from Flux’s dorm.

He knew because he checked the transit app every few minutes as if sheer determination could make the train move faster.

By the time he reached Flux's dormitory, the sky had already begun turning orange, he looked painfully out of place—varsity jacket still on, backpack hanging from one shoulder, shoes squeaking faintly against the polished floor as he entered the lobby.

The receptionist barely looked up.

"Visitors aren't allowed after six." her nearly robotic voice murmured, as if she’s rehearsed it multiple times.

"I'm here for Fluixon Aculon." Saps says, he talked like he was out of breath, and he didn’t want to acknowledge that he knew it was his heartbeat raising and adrenaline potentially spiking over a trivial matter such as needing to talk to Flux.

"No one is allowed to accept visitors at the moment." the receptionist emphasized.

"I'll wait." is what Saps’ stubborn reply was.

"You could be waiting until morning." the receptionist replied plainly.

"I'll wait." he merely repeats.

The receptionist sighed, and eventually called upstairs anyway, she dials the number to contact Flux’s dorm, and Saps knows that because he’s memorized it like how a heart memorizes how many heartbeats a person needs per minute, as embarrassing as that may sound.

“Good evening, Is this Fluixon Aculon?” The receptionist talks smoothly.  "...There's someone named Saparata."

A long pause is what awaits in return, Saps doesn’t know how long it took before he could distinctly hear some muffled noise on the other end of the telephone. 

The receptionist slightly lowers the telephone before he looks at Saps. "...He says he's not coming down."

Saps merely smiled politely. "I'll wait." he repeats, and all the receptionist could do at the moment was stare at the white-haired man with an emotion akin to pity.

—

Forty-three minutes later, the elevator doors opened.

It took Saps a few minutes to look up and realize it was Flux stepped out.

He looked tired.

Not angry, not annoyed, just... exhausted.

The sleeves of his hoodie were pulled over his hands the way they always were whenever he felt overwhelmed.

"You shouldn't be here." Flux starts, approaching Saps with dreadful footsteps.

The relief that flooded Saps' face was immediate. "There you are."

Flux frowned. "You actually came."

"You hung up on me." Saparata replied, as if that was all the reason he needed to come.

"I know." Flux said matter-of-factly.

"So explain."

"There's nothing to explain."

"There has to be."

"There isn’t."

Saps searched his face for something—anything—that resembled the Flux he'd spent months quietly falling in love with.

The Flux who sent him pictures of his plates with his tired expression that he never lets anyone see. 

The Flux who'd once fallen asleep against his shoulder when they were binge watching their favorite show—Decayed and Decrepit, only to deny it happened the next morning.

The Flux who pretended to hate basketball games but somehow never missed one, whether he was on the benches pretending to support the opposing team to piss Saps off, or being the one on the side of the court, interviewing him so professionally like he didn’t know Saps’ snoring could wake an entire nation up.

That person couldn't simply disappear over a ‘damn breakup text. (Is it considered a breakup even though it’s a situationship? he’ll have to ask rishddit later.)

"You said you wanted this." Saps tried to start again, after his inner turmoil ended. 

"I did." Flux replied smoothly—too smooth, as if he rehearsed all of this before he came down to meet Saps.

"You said this had no strings attached." Saps pushed. 

"I did."

"So what do we need to end? what changed?"

Flux looked away. “I already told you, I changed my mind."

"Liar." The word slipped out before Saps could stop it.

Flux finally met his eyes, his brows slightly furrowed at Saps’ comment. "I'm serious."

"No you’re not." Saps insisted stubbornly.

"I am." Flux insisted further, his tone growing slightly more irritated as the time went by.

"Flux—"

"Go home, Saparata.” Flux said, the way he said Sap’s name like it was poison made Saps’ heart wither.

Saps took one careful step forward. "I'm not leaving until you tell me why."

"You have practice." Flux tried to reason with him, but that only fueled Saps’ determination, the fact he still remembers his schedule more than he himself did was enough evidence for him to believe Flux still cares.

"I don't care." Saps stayed firm.

"What? you’re the captain—"

"I don't care." He repeats vigorously.

"You have a game this weekend!”

"I don't care!” Each answer came faster than the last.

He could see Flux’s expression go through a whirlwind of emotions, and he gets it, honestly. No sane person would disregard everything he has achieved. As though every accomplishment he'd spent years building suddenly weighed less than the silence standing in front of him.

Flux stared at him for a long time before trying to speak again. "You don't mean that."

"I do."

"You'll regret it."

"I’ll regret this more if I let it go."

Silence.

The automatic doors slid open behind them as students entered the dorm, glancing curiously at the two before quickly looking away.

Saps moved another step closer. "I can fix it."

"You can't."

"You haven't even told me what's wrong."

"Because there isn't anything wrong."

"Then why are you leaving?"

Flux closed his eyes. "Because I want to."

Another lie.

Saps knew Flux too well, the way his shoulders stiffened whenever he lied, the way his fingers disappeared further into his sleeves, and the way he avoided eye contact whenever he was about to say something he didn't believe.

Saps noticed everything—he could solve impossible equations before anyone else in class, read opposing basketball defenses before they even set up their plays.

He could remember every formula, every detail, every deadline.

Yet somehow… He couldn't understand the person he loved most.

"What do you want me to do?" Saps asked quietly.

Flux said nothing.

"I'll stop texting so much." Saps tries to negotiate.

Silence.

"I'll give you space." Another.

Nothing.

Then another, this particular one laced with a much more desperate tone. "I'll transfer universities."

Flux's head snapped up quickly with that, his facade of not caring quietly slipped for a mere fraction of a second. "No."

"I'll join you here in Infernus, I’ll quit basketball."

"Saps." Flux says his name like a warning.

"I'll step down as captain." Saps doesn’t back down either way.

"Stop."

"I mean it."

"You worked too hard for that."

"I don't care."

"You should."

"I don't."

"You've spent four years building everything you have."

"I know."

“And you’re throwing all of it away?" Flux says tiredly, he looks like he wants to add more, but it seems he restrained himself to do so. 

“Yes!” Saps laughed once, but it sounded painfully hollow. "For an explanation." he adds, and after that, another reply came, albeit a little too quietly, as if Saps himself doesn’t believe what he’ll say next. "I don't even need you to take me back."

Flux's expression faltered.

"I just..." Saps swallowed hard. "I just need to know why."

The words settled heavily between them, and for the first time that evening, Flux looked genuinely shaken. It was like his perfectly cold composure cracked for only a heartbeat and Saps swore Flux’s eyes glistened beneath the harsh dorm lights before he looked away again.

"You should leave."

"Not until you answer me."

"I can't."

"You won't." Saps let out a slow breath, one that trembled despite every effort to steady it. 

Once again, everyone believed Saparata Theria was a genius. Top of his class. Basketball captain. Future summa cum laude. The kind of student professors pointed to as proof that brilliance existed.

But at this moment, he felt like he wasn't any of those things.

Because when he stands in front of Fluixon Aculon. He was just Saps.

A boy hopelessly in love with someone who kept choosing the exit instead of him. 

Yet, one might want to ask—how did all of this even start in the first place?

—

[Senior year - July 11th, 20XX]

The first time Saparata Theria met Fluixon Aculon, he was almost run over by a bicycle.

You see, sunflowers were a rarity—no, a luxury in the nation Saps lived in.

It’s not like they were not impossible to find. Saps has seen countless of them sold in local flowershops, but they were always accompanied with such an expensive price tag, that saparata couldn’t find himself to actually admire it’s beauty to the fullest without the gleaming numbers taunting him, and a broke high school student like Saps has no power over the price flowers have.

Still, the price could never rid saparata of his love for it regardless.

Not until on a particular day during his way back home after school, he came across a reverently large house at the bottom of the road, with a backyard—or garden?—filled with a variation of flowers and plants alike, most being a large array of hyacinths, and some being…

…sunflowers. 

Saps couldn’t believe his eyes honestly, he was a little bit too far, yet it didn’t stop him from standing and staring at the flowers like he just witnessed the sun personally plant them to cheer his day up. 

alas, his joy of observing the flowers were cut short.

"...Excuse me?" A voice called.

Nothing.

"Hey."

Still nothing.

"Dude."

Saps stood in the middle of the sidewalk with his backpack hanging from one shoulder, completely oblivious to the line of people trying to get past him.

"...Are you planning to move?"

The voice finally pulled him back to reality.

He blinked. "Oh." He looked around, realizing he'd unintentionally created a bottleneck on the narrow sidewalk outside campus. "Sorry!"

Students immediately squeezed around him, some muttering under their breath before continuing on their way, Saps rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I didn't realize."

"No kidding." The boy standing behind him sighed.

He was surprisingly shorter than Saps, dressed in the same neatly pressed uniform he'd worn all week. His dark hair framed an expression that permanently looked somewhere between tired and mildly inconvenienced.

Fluixon Aculon. The transferee student in his class, he’d arrived barely two weeks ago at the start of senior year and somehow managed to become one of the quietest people in class.

He answered when professors called on him, worked alone whenever possible, left the moment lectures ended. Hell, he could bet half of the class didn't even know what his voice sounded like.

"Oh!" Saps pointed at him. "You're the Aculon guy!”

"...Unfortunately." Flux said as if the mere mention of his surname could ruin his entire day.

Saps noticed, but he assumed it’s because of how uncurt his greeting was. "I mean—that came out wrong." He chuckled, shaking his hand as to wave it off.

"You're the transferee!” Saps tries again, as if that observation made it any better.

Flux merely stared, unamused. "I know."

Saps ignores the stare, instead smiling wide, "I'm Saparata." Saps introduces himself.

"I know." Flux repeated.

Saps had to fight the urge of his eye to twitch out of annoyance, because Saparata Theria is a nice person! and he can’t be the one acting annoyed when he knew he kind of inconvenienced Flux with his whole ‘admiring the sunflowers’ session. 

"...Right." Saps murmur, trying to come up with another conversation starter.

An awkward silence settled between them.

Well… It was awkward for one of them.

"So..." Saps said brightly. "Sorry for blocking the sidewalk."

Flux glanced toward the road. "I figured."

"I wasn't looking." Saps explained further.

"I noticed."

"I got distracted."

"I also noticed." Flux reiterated boringly.

Saps laughed. "I swear there’s a reason!”

Flux looked at him as if silently questioning whether there really could be one, Saps turned dramatically and pointed across the small iron fence beside the sidewalk.

"Look at that."

Flux followed his finger. "..."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Beyond the fence stood the house mentioned earlier, it was elegant without trying too hard. White walls climbed beneath ivy-covered balconies, while the front garden stretched almost ridiculously wide.

In that garden, rows upon rows of sunflowers faced the afternoon sun, their golden petals glowing like tiny pieces of summer, between them bloomed clusters of soft blue, and dark violet hyacinths, filling the spaces beneath the taller flowers. The  breeze alone carried their scent all the way to the sidewalk.

Saps looked completely enchanted. "I've never seen this many sunflowers before."

Flux remained silent.

"They're my favorite." Saps added helpfully.

It did not help Flux at all.

"And the hyacinths..." Saps crouched slightly to get a better look through the fence. "They make everything look complete somehow."

Saps couldn’t see it, but that was the only time Flux’s expression changed to one of amusement. "...You know flowers?"

"A little." Saps shrugged, not giving it much thought.

"You don't seem like the type." Flux huffed.

That comment had Saps turning his head a little too quickly to stare at Flux bewilderedly. "What does that mean?"

"You play basketball." was Flux’s useful reply.

"So?" Saps says with utmost confusion.

Flux shrugged. "I don't know."

Saps grinned. "pfft, regardless of my sport, I still contain multitudes of interest for flowers!”

“multitudes?” Flux murmured, looking away. "...That's a weird thing to say."

Saps giggled. "I read it in a poem." he adds thoughtfully.

"I can tell." Flux deadpans.

Saps ignored the jab. "I just think whoever owns this place must really love flowers."

when finally stands up as he replies to Flux, he noticed that his comment made Flux go a little quiet, before he softly answers, "They do."

Saps nods his head happily. "I mean, look at all the effort this would've taken."

"They know."

"The sunflowers are so healthy too." He praises.

"I noticed."

"I wonder if they'd let me look around the garden." He wonders, though, that thought kind of came out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"They wouldn't." was Flux’s quick reply.

Saps had the gall to look offended, placing a hand on his heart as if he were wounded. "You don't know that."

"I do." Flux said matter-of-factly.

Saps tilted his head. "...How?"

Flux answered so casually like it didn’t even take a second to register. "Because It's my house."

Silence.

Saps blinked once. Twice. "...Your what?"

"My house." Flux repeated.

"The..." Saps trails off, as he dumbly looks at flux, then at the house, at the garden, and at the flowers.

"My garden." Flux adds, as if that’ll help Saps process the information more quickly.

It doesn’t. 

Saps was simply at a loss of words, "...You're telling me this entire place belongs to you?"

"Well, it belongs to my parents." Flux confirms.

"The mansion?"

"It's just a house."

"The house?" Saps corrects himself.

 "Yes." Flux confirms once more.

"The flower garden?" Saps asked, "Yes." Flux confirmed, "The sunflowers?” Saps asked again, "...Yes." Flux replied, albeit almost a little bit irritated with the redundancy.

"The hyacinths too?" Saps asked, one final time. 

Flux stared at him like he’s conversing with someone who has lost all of their  brain cells. "I wasn't going to plant someone else's."

Saps was caught off-guard with Flux’s joke (was it a joke?), as he burst into laughter. "I thought rich people only grew like—roses and stuff."

"What?"

"I don't know." Saps shrugged.

Flux pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's an incredibly strange assumption."

"So you planted these?" Saps changed the subject, as his eyes searched to stare at the flowers again.

"My sister liked gardening." Flux filled in, his tone growing softer.

"Oh."

"I help maintain it."

"You?" Saps said with awe, as if he couldn’t believe Flux knew how to garden.

"Yes."

"The guy who's spoken maybe twelve words since transferring?"

Flux gave him a flat look. "I've spoken more than twelve."

"Not to me." Saps pouted.

Flux furrowed his brow like he just said something stupid, "I just did."

Saps blinked, before realizing he was kinda right. "True."

Then, Saps smiled so brightly that Flux almost looked away. "They're really beautiful."

"...Thanks."

"were you the one who picked sunflowers?"

"My sister did." Flux replied.

"Oh, so I’m guessing you’re the one who picked the hyacinths?”

"...Yeah." Flux confirmed.

Saps nodded at the confirmation, before smiling softly again. "I think that's nice."

Flux didn't know what to say to that.

He wasn't used to people talking this much, much less finding conversations where there probably shouldn't have been one.

"So..." Saps adjusted his backpack. "You walk this way home every day?"

"Obviously." Flux said, after all, his house was quite literally just a few more miles below them, a steep road going down was all they needed to get there.

"I do too." Saps added thoughtfully.

"...Congratulations."

Then, Saps’ eyes suddenly brightened, as if an idea suddenly popped into his mind, "We can walk together." He suggested.

Flux immediately replied, "No."

"You don't even have to talk!” Saps whined, he had to admit flux’s immediate rejection hurt him a tiny bit.

"I prefer walking alone."

"I can do enough talking for both of us." Saps offered helpfully.

The offer seemed to have been immediately rejected again anyway, "I noticed."

They started walking anyway.

Well—Flux started walking.

Saps simply matched his pace as though that had always been the plan. "So where did you transfer from?" Saps supplied another conversation starter.

"...Another university." Flux replied vaguely.

"I figured, what was it like?"

"It existed."

"You really don't give long answers." Saps said with a long sigh.

Flux nodded instead of being offended, because it was true. "I don't."

"I can fix that." Saps said with a little too much determination.

"I don't think you can."

"I absolutely can."

Flux doubted it. 

Five minutes later, he knew Saps' favorite color was a deep sea blue and pine green because it reminded him of trees after rain.

Ten minutes later, he knew Saps' favorite animal were cats—particularly his cat, Joseph, and that his cat barely had any hair which apparently made him the cutest cat in the whole wide world.

Fifteen minutes later, he knew Saps wanted to graduate at the top of his class, become an engineer, use that engineering degree to find his way towards law school somehow (but he only ever considered law because people often praise how well he mediates situations), and maybe travel someday if he could save enough money.

…So, Flux’s doubts were entirely wrong.

Yet somehow...

He wasn't annoyed.

When they reached the intersection where their routes separated, Saps smiled as though they'd been friends for years.

"See you tomorrow, Flux." Saps hummed as he waved goodbye.

Flux tilted his head, "...How do you know we're walking together tomorrow?"

Saps shrugged. "You walk this way." he says, pointing in the direction of his house.

"I do."

"I walk this way." he adds, pointing in the opposite direction of the intersection, where Saps’ house was.

"...You do."

"So unless one of us learns how to teleport..." Saps drawled, as if waiting for Flux to get the hint.

Flux sighed. "...See you tomorrow."

Saps beamed. "See? You're already making plans with me."

"I am not."

"You literally just did."

Before Flux could retaliate, Saps was already jogging away, laughing to himself for reasons that made absolutely no sense.

"...What a strange person." Flux concluded, yet he failed to notice how he gripped the strap of his backpack a little tighter subconsciously.

He continued home alone—or at least, he thought he still was. Neither of them noticed that from the next afternoon onward, there was never a day that stretch of sidewalk belonged to just one of them again.

—

Neither of them could pinpoint when walking home together became a habit. It simply...Happened.

"Flux!"

Every afternoon, without fail.

Saps would be waiting outside the school gates with a basketball tucked under one arm and a grin that somehow survived quizzes, projects, and four hours of sleep. 

Flux stopped pretending it surprised him after the third week, and the one time Flux got to the school gate before Saps, he stood there impatiently with one of his feet tapping on the floor.

"You're late." Flux said before he even looked at Saps.

Saps gasped dramatically, his hands raised up in the air as if to plead guilty. "It's only been three minutes."

"You said we'd leave at four."

"It is four." Saps defended himself.

"It's four-oh-three." Flux corrected it seriously.

Saps merely blinked, as if slightly in shock, "...You counted?"

"I looked at the clock."

"You missed me!" is what Saps decided to conclude with Flux’s statement instead.

"I didn't." Flux denied.

Saps shook his head, as if he’s already decided. "You definitely did."

Flux walked past him. Saps followed anyway. He always did.

—

Before they both realized it, they were already as close as two peas in a pod could ever be.

Saps dropped a lunch-box wrapped in a very neat cloth in front of Flux. "You forgot your lunch."

"I know." Flux said, staring at the lunch-box with slight bewilderment.  "So why are you giving your lunch to me?"

"Because I know you’re hungry." Saps shrugged.

Flux squinted his eyes as he stared at Saps. "...How do you know that?"

A small pause occurred, before Saps took a seat next to Flux and mumbled, "You yawn more when you don't eat."

Flux stared. "You... noticed?"

Saps blinked. "I notice a lot of things."

"...That's creepy." Flux shudders. 

“Hey!” Saps huffed, his face painted with offense, "I prefer the term 'observant.'”

Flux snickered, failing to suppress his amusement, and Saps found himself laughing at their situation after he heard it.

—

Alas, the joy of newly budded friendships could only last so long.

After all, Winter has finally arrived, meaning exams will shortly come after then the final year of high school somehow became the final semester.

and the final semester always meant one thing: college and university talks will begin appearing.

Teachers started asking about university plans, conversations shifted from assignments to entrance exams, so on and so forth. 

Until all seniors realized that stressing about their respective grades… will quickly turn into goodbyes very soon.

—

[Senior Year - January 11th, 20XX]

"So." Saps folded the practice exam he'd been pretending to study. "Have you decided?"

Flux looked up from his notebook. "About?"

"University."

"My parents already did." Flux answered.

Obviously, that wasn’t really the answer Saps was looking for. "...Right."

Furthermore, there wasn't bitterness in Flux's voice, Saps noted—only resignation. 

"They want me at Infernus." Flux says after a long pause, finally being specific.

Saps nodded.

Infernus University, one of the country's most prestigious institutions—a university with tuition fees that made most families wince just hearing them.

"My dad says their architectural program has better industry connections, plus, my twin sister already goes there and has a dorm, so I don’t have to worry about dorm-hunting either.” Flux explained further, his tone was quite robotic, as if he’s answering a question that he’s answered multiple times.

Saps stayed quiet, before murmuring a small question. "What do you want?"

Flux blinked, clearly not expecting that question, and went still for a moment. "...It doesn't matter."

"It does." Saps tried to affirm.

Flux shook his head, "It won't change anything."

Saps didn't—or couldn’t—argue.

After all, Saps knew that there were times Flux answered questions openly with confidence, and there were times he closed every door before anyone could even get the chance to ask. Saps already assumed that the latter was one of those moments happening right now.

"So..." Flux nudged the paper in front of Saps instead, opting to change the topic. "What about you?"

Saps smiled. "I'm applying to The University of Westhelm."

Flux blinked. "The University of Westhelm?" He repeated.

Saps merely nodded. "The one and only."

"...That's the top university in the country." Flux informed him.

Saps shrugged, of course he already knew that, he didn’t live under a rock. "I know."

"The acceptance rate is ridiculous." Flux fueled further.

"I know." Saps repeated.

A long pause occurred. Then, Flux shifted his position a little, so that he’s fully facing Saps when he speaks. "The basketball program recruits nationally."

"I know." Saps hummed for the nth time.

Flux huffed in annoyance. "You say 'I know' to everything."

Saps laughed. "I've done my research."

Flux stared at him, before he leaned back a little as he processed everything. "...You're serious."

"Very."

"You actually think you'll make it to the varsity team?" Flux asked, and it wasn’t a question made out of disbelief, simply curiosity. 

Because if anyone believed Saps could make it a varsity team as great as Westhelm’s, it would no doubt be Flux.

"I have to." Saps sighed.

Flux furrowed his brows at that reply. "Have to?"

Saps scratched his neck nervously. "If I make it to the team, my additional grants scholarship chances could go up."

Flux stayed silent after that. 

Saps took Flux’s silence as confirmation to continue explaining, "And if my grades stay where they are, I’ll be able to secure those additional grants."

Flux paused before replying. "You've already calculated this."

Saps grinned. "If everything goes right..." He started, looking out the window of Flux’s room, from this point of view, you could see the garden and the array of flowers much more clearly. "...I think I can do it."

Flux watched him quietly. There was something oddly beautiful about the certainty in Saps' voice, there wasn’t a single hint of arrogance, just hope. "So you'll stay in a dorm?"

Saps perked up nervously, before scratching his cheek. "...Hopefully."

Flux tilted his head, his expression turning serious again. "What do you mean, hopefully?"

"Dorm slots are limited." Saps explained meekly.

"And if you don't get one?" Flux questioned further.

Saps sighed loudly, his posture visibly slouching as he deflates and sinks on his chair. "I'll figure something out."

"You can't commute." Flux told him matter-of-factly.

"I know." Saps mumbled.

"The city is six hours away, Saps."

"I know."

"You can't afford an apartment." 

Saps laughed awkwardly. "Definitely not."

"...Then why?" The question slipped out before Flux could stop it. "If everything depends on getting a dorm..." he paused, then frowned. "...Why choose somewhere so far away?"

Saps looked at him as though the answer were obvious. "Because you're going."

Flux blinked. "...What?"

"You said your parents are sending you to Infernus." Saps reminded him.

Flux stared, still not getting it. "...Yes."

"It's in the city."

"It is."

"So..." Saps shrugged. "...At least I'll know someone."

Silence.

"Infernus isn’t even close to Westhelm," Flux said.

"I know."

"It's still almost an hour away."

"I know." Saps remained nonchalant.

Flux couldn’t figure out why he was so calm. "We probably won't even see each other often."

"I know." Saps sighed.

"Then why?"

Then, Saps’ position shifted as he smiled, the same easy smile he'd worn ever since he'd accidentally blocked a sidewalk because of a field of sunflowers. "It'll still be nice."

Flux remained quiet. 

"If something happens..." Saps continued as he rested his chin on his folded arms. "...If classes get hard… or if I have a terrible day..." he pauses, "It'll be comforting to know my best friend is somewhere in the same city."

Flux forgot how to breathe.

Best friend.

The words should've made him happy—Instead, His chest tightened—His heart gave one traitorous flutter after another.

Stupid. Ridiculous. He'd known Saps for barely two years. He shouldn't be reacting like this. Especially not to something so innocent.

Saps wasn't confessing. He wasn't implying anything. He was simply smiling at the person he trusted most. And somehow…

That made it worse.

"...That's a stupid reason," Flux muttered, looking away before Saps could see anything on his face.

Saps laughed. "It kind of is."

"You shouldn't choose your future because of one person."

"I'm not." Saps denied, and despite not looking at him, Flux could practically hear Saps’ pout in his tone anyway.

"You literally just said you were."

"I'm choosing it because it's the best engineering school in the country."

Flux finally looked back, "And?"

"And..." Saps smiled sheepishly. "...It's a bonus that you're there."

Flux rolled his eyes. "You're unbelievable." 

"I've been told."

"...Idiot."

"Takes one to know one." Saps shrugged, which was the most ironic thing he must’ve said today, considering they were both incredibly smart, if the fact their only university choices were both top leagues wasn’t enough evidence to begin with.

Flux clicked his tongue, pretending to be annoyed. He turned toward the window before Saps could notice the smile threatening to betray him, or the warmth spreading embarrassingly across his face, and the way his heart refused to settle down. 

Some things were better left unsaid.

So Flux buried them where no one—not even Saps—would ever find them.

—

[Senior Year - April 11th, 20XX]

By April, the entire senior batch had stopped talking about graduation.

There was only one thing anyone cared about—University results.

The Big Four universities had all announced that acceptance letters would be released on the same day, at exactly one o'clock in the afternoon.

The school was practically useless that morning.

No one paid attention.

Teachers eventually gave up trying.

—

"You've refreshed that page twelve times."

Saps looked up from Flux's laptop. "...Thirteen."

Flux sighed. "They're not releasing the results early."

"They could." Saps tried to argue.

"They won't." Flux argued back without a second to pause.

"They might accidentally." Saps still tried stubbornly.

Flux simply sighed, resisting the urge to flick Saps’ forehead from his sheer stupidity. "...Universities don't accidentally release admission decisions."

"You don't know." Saps pouted.

Flux blinked, "I do."

"You really don't."

Flux slid a glass of iced tea across the table to distract Saps instead and revert the topic back. "Drink."

Saps accepted it absentmindedly, taking a sip without looking away from the countdown timer on the university website.

The digital clock ticked.

12:58.

12:59.

One minute.

Saps bounced one knee beneath Flux’s study table so quickly the entire chair shook. "Flux, I’m so unbelievably nervous right now."

"You’re making me nervous." Flux huffed, it was partly true, but unlike Saps, he already has his future secured with Infernus University (call it nepotism all you want, if getting good opportunities is what he gets for the lack of affection he receives from his parents, then he’ll gladly take it, thank you very much.)

Saps whined, "That's worse."

"It is." Flux almost smiled.

Outside, the afternoon sun poured through the large kitchen windows, painting warm rectangles across the wooden floor. Beyond the glass, the sunflower garden swayed lazily in the breeze, as though completely unaware that somewhere inside the house, one boy looked ready to pass out from anticipation.

The house was unusually quiet, just the way Flux liked it—and just the way Saps hated it.

Which explained why Saps had been talking almost nonstop for the last hour. "...Thirty seconds."

"I know." Flux hummed.

Saps voice shook as if he was on the verge of tears. "What if I don't get in?"

"You will."

"What if I don't get the scholarship?"

Flux shrugged. "Then you'll find another way."

"What if I don't get the dorm?"

Flux paused, trying to think before answering. "You'll complain."

"I will."

"Then you'll find another way."

Saps paused for a moment, glancing to look at Flux. "...You're surprisingly optimistic today."

"I know you." Flux replied, the answer came so naturally that neither of them commented on it.

Then, the clock changed.

1:00 PM.

Saps practically lunged for the keyboard.

"I'll open the others first." Saps announced with a shaky voice.

Flux raised an eyebrow. "...You're saving Westhelm for last?"

Saps swallowed. "I can wait another five minutes."

"You've completely lost your mind."

"I absolutely have."

The first tab opened. Tri-Color University. ‘Congratulations!’, it read.

"YES!" Saps pumped his fist into the air. "I passed!"

"I expected that." Flux shrugged.

"Don't ruin my moment." Saps frowned, glaring a little at Flux, before looking away because he honestly realized he could never be mad at Flux.

"I'll try."

The second. Requiem University.

Another acceptance. "Oh, thank Ish."

"The third?"

"Infernus University."

Flux leaned back in his chair. "Go ahead."

The page loaded, and for a second… Nothing appeared. Then—’Congratulations! The Infernus University Welcomes You!’ popped up.

Saps laughed out loud. "I got into Infernus too!"

"I expected that." Flux repeated

"But..." His smile shrank a little as he scrolled further. "...No scholarship."

Flux glanced at the screen. "It says you qualified academically."

"Yeah..." Saps scratched his head. "...Just not enough for financial aid."

"So? You weren't planning to go there anyway."

"I guess, I’m still pretty bummed, though." Saps sighed, he didn’t really want to tell Flux that if he did get a scholarship to Infernus, he seriously would’ve considered going in a heartbeat.

But he can’t say that, because he knows Fluixon Aculon would honestly push him off a tall tower brutally if he did.

"It's still an acceptance." Flux said.

"It is." Saps smiled again. "I guess that's pretty cool."

Flux nodded. "It is."

Saps looked over. "Aren't you opening yours?"

Flux shook his head. "I already know where I'm going."

"You should still check." Saps tried to persuade him, but before he even suggested such, Flux has already made up his mind.

"I only applied seriously to one."

"You applied to the others." Saps reminded him

Flux shrugged, "My parents made me."

"So?"

"So I don't care."

"What if Westhelm University accepted you?"

Flux scrunched his nose and furrowed his brows. "Their architecture program sucks, Saps, no offense."

Saps sighed, "None taken, what about Tri-Color?"

"No."

"Requiem?"

"No."

Saps pouted, looking at Flux with glistening eyes akin to that of a puppy. "You aren't even curious?"

Flux shook his head again, he didn’t even know why Saps was so persistent to know his university results (don’t snitch, but it’s because Saps wanted to know if Flux passed Westhelm so he could at least persuade him, despite Flux’s absolute distaste for it.)

"I'm going to Infernus."  Flux officially concluded, that had been decided long before applications were ever submitted.

Though, to satisfy Saps’ curiosity, he clicked into the Infernus portal instead, and his acceptance letter appeared almost instantly. No surprise. No suspense. Just confirmation. ‘Congratulations, The Infernus University Welcomes you!’

He closed the tab. "Done."

"...That's it?"

"That's it."

"You aren't excited?"

"I knew I'd get in."

Saps stared. "...You're impossible."

Flux didn’t take offense to that comment. "So I've been told."

Saps sighed, then he stared back at the screen in front of him. There was only one tab left.

Westhelm University.

The dream. The impossible one that’s free of tuition at the expense of ridiculous acceptance rates and perhaps your soul.

Saps rested both hands on the keyboard. "...I suddenly don't want to click it."

"You've come this far."

"I know."

"So click."

Silence, Saps still refused to budge. "What if—"

"Saps."

"...Yeah?" Saps mumbled, nervously looking at Flux’s eyes.

Flux looked at him, really looked at him. "You'll regret waiting longer."

Saps inhaled deeply.

Then clicked.

The page took longer to load than the others. One second. Two. Three. Saps looked like he was about to stop breathing.

Then the screen changed.

Congratulations, Saparata Theria!

Neither of them moved. Saps read. Then reread. Then leaned closer.

"...Flux."

"Hm?"

"I..." His voice disappeared.

Flux frowned. "What?"

Saps pointed at the screen with a trembling finger. "I got in."

"I can see that."

"No..." He scrolled lower. "I got the additional grant." But it didn’t stop there, "And—" As Saps scrolled further and further.. "...I got a dorm."

Flux smiled. "I expected that."

"And..." Saps suddenly froze.

His eyes widened so much Flux had to lean over to check what he was so speechless about.

There was another paragraph. One neither of them had expected.

‘Based on your academic achievements and athletic record, Westhelm University is pleased to personally invite you to the first round of varsity basketball team tryouts…’

Silence. Absolute silence.

"...Flux."

"Hm?"

"...Read it."

"I did."

"...Read it again."

Flux rolled his eyes fondly, "I don't need to."

"I think I'm hallucinating." Saps whispers, if he was already pale before, he’s sure he was as pale as his white hair now.

"You're not."

"...I got invited."

"You did." Flux confirmed.

"I GOT INVITED!" Saps shot out of his chair so quickly it nearly toppled over. 

Before Flux even realized what was happening—Saps threw both arms around him.

It wasn't even a proper hug. More like excitement without direction. His hands landed on Flux's shoulders as he laughed, shaking him once.

"FLUX!" Saps screamed like a mad man.

Overwhelmed, Flux couldn’t help but scream back, albeit less louder than Saps’. "I KNOW."

"I GOT EVERYTHING!" Saps cheered, his voice cracked like he was crying, Flux would not tease him if he did cry.

"I know."

"The scholarship!"

"I know."

"The dorm!"

"I know."

"The tryouts!"

"I know."

"I GOT EVERYTHING!"

Flux laughed quietly despite himself. "You've already said that."

It was Saps’ turn to say, "I KNOW!"

It was only after a while that  Saps realized how close they were. "Oh." He let go almost immediately, his ears and cheeks fading into a dusted pink. "Sorry."

Flux failed to notice the way Saps flushed, ultimately more upset about the warmth that just got taken away from him. "For what?"

"I got carried away."

"...It's fine."

Saps smiled sheepishly before turning back toward the laptop, already rereading the admission letter for what was probably the tenth time.

Meanwhile, Flux sat perfectly still. Because if he moved… He was almost certain his heart would leap straight out of his chest. The warmth from Saps' hands still lingered on his shoulders.

Ridiculous.

It was barely even a hug.

Just excitement. Just happiness. Just… Saps being Saps.

Nothing more.

Flux looked at the glowing admission letter on the screen. Top university in the country. One of the most competitive schools to give additional scholarship grants available. Guaranteed housing. A chance to wear the jersey of a collegiate basketball program that is known to send its players to national teams.

Everything Saps had spent years working toward. Everything he'd quietly dreamed about. Everything he deserved.

Flux had known this would happen. From the day Saps explained math problems with the same enthusiasm most people reserved for winning the lottery.

From the afternoons he'd watched him balance entrance exams with varsity practice.

From every late-night conversation where Saps somehow believed he still wasn't good enough.

He had always known.

Saps was never meant to stay in one small town.

He was meant for lecture halls filled with the brightest minds. Packed stadiums.

Impossible opportunities.

And for the briefest moment—A thought crossed Flux's mind so quickly it almost escaped before he could catch it. He's going to belong to the city.

Not here.

Not in this quiet town.

Not beside a garden full of sunflowers and hyacinths.

Certainly not....tied down to someone like Fluixon Aculon.

The thought disappeared as quickly as it came—Flux buried it before it could take root. Then he looked back at Saps, who was still grinning so brightly at the screen that it was impossible not to smile too.

"You earned it," Flux said quietly.

Saps looked over, eyes shining. "You really think so?"

Flux didn't hesitate. "I've never been more sure of anything."

Saps laughed. Then, without another word, he turned back to the laptop to read his acceptance letter all over again.

Flux let him.

Because if there was anyone in the world who deserved to savor every single word… It was Saparata Theria.

—

[1st Year - June 11th, 20XX]

A few months have passed, Saparata Theria and Fluixon Aculon graduated high school with flying colors, with Saps being the valedictorian, and the only student to graduate with highest honors.

Flux didn’t fall that behind, two years in the high school yet he climbed high enough to be able to graduate with high honors, he was the salutatorian.

Now, they’ve officially moved into the big city. It was enormous. Too loud. Too crowded. Too fast.

Saps loved every second of it.

After he finally organized his furniture and things into their respective placement, he took a second to admire the dorm he’ll be living in for the next four years, and how much he dreamed to be able to live in this moment.

He also couldn’t forget to text the person that fueled his determination to carry on with this dream. 

Saps:

I think my dorm is actually on another continent.

Flux:

 It's only an hour and thirty-two minutes away.

Saps: 

An hour and thirty-five. Spyglass Maps Updated.

Flux: 

My condolences.

Saps: 

I miss my best friend.

Flux: 

You saw me yesterday.

Saps: 

Exactly.

Flux: 

That's not helping your argument.

Saps: 

Can I come over?

Flux: 

No.

Saps:

 I'm already on the train.

Flux:

 Saparata.

Saps:

 :)

—

"You commuted for an hour and a half?" Flux groaned quietly, as if he couldn't believe the tall white-haired man standing in front of the doorstep of his dorm right now.

"It was only an hour and twenty-eight minutes, pretty fast if you ask me.” Saps said like it’s the easiest thing to battle commuting for the sake of seeing him 

Flux vividly remembers Saps crashing out over the thought of commuting, now he’s doing it like it’s in his nature.

"I brought snacks." Saps added, as he lifted the plastic bag filled with lots of snacks and sweets. Weirdly enough, it was only filled with the delicacies Flux liked.

Flux pretended to feign ignorance as he resisted the urge to gulp. "I don't care."

"I brought your favorite drink, too." Saps offered, as he eyed the drink that was also in the plastic bag.

But Flux was a stubborn man. "I don't care." He repeated.

Saps sighed, deciding to fish out his phone and show him a picture he took of the bookstore near his dorm. "I also found the guidebook for architecture models because you said it’s been sold out everywhere."

A long pause occurred, before Flux stepped aside to open the door further. "...Come inside."

Saps smiled victoriously. "I knew you'd say yes."

"I absolutely did not."

"You always do."

Flux frowned. "I shouldn't."

"But you will." Saps answered back easily.

"...You're insufferable."

“So I've heard."

Flux still let him in anyway. Saps walked into the dorm room as though it were his own.

Much to Flux’s dismay, by the second month of university… It practically was.

—

[ 1st Year - August 11th, 20XX ]

"You have a perfectly good dorm." Flux reminded him like a very thoughtful best friend would do.

"I know." Saps says, as he flops down on Flux’s couch and smothers his face in the soft cushions.

"With free housing."

"I know.”

"That you worked unbelievably hard for."

"I know."

"So why are you here?" Flux sighed, rubbing his temples like he knew a headache was coming his way.

Saps looked genuinely confused. "...Because you're here." he said plainly.

Flux sighed, though he had to admit, he couldn’t stop his heart from beating so fast after Saps said that statement so easily, like it didn’t mess with Flux’s head. "That's not a reason."

"It is to me."

"You spent almost two hours commuting."

"I got homework done on the train." Saps added usefully.

"You could've done homework in your own room." Flux retorted.

"I like your room better." Saps pouted.

"My room is half the size of yours."

"It has you in it." Saps said, and he said it like it was final.

At a loss for words, Flux had nothing else to say, "...You're impossible."

"I know." Saps smiled gleefully, as he shifted his position to get more comfortable on Flux’s couch.

Flux buried his face in his hands. He should've been annoyed. He tried to be annoyed.

Instead… with how often Saps came, he found himself buying two portions whenever he ordered dinner. Leaving an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. Making enough coffee for two without thinking. 

He hated how naturally Saps fit into his routines. More than that—He hated how much he liked it.

—

University life suited Saparata Theria.

Professors knew his name by the third week. Upperclassmen borrowed his notes. His classmates learned very quickly that asking Saps for help meant accidentally receiving a two-hour lecture complete with real-life examples. 

He became exactly who Flux always knew he would become.

Someone impossible to ignore.

—

[ 1st Year - September 11th, 20XX ] 

Basketball tryouts lasted three days.

Saps barely slept.

Every evening he'd collapse onto Flux's dorm floor dramatically. "My legs don't work."

"They’d hurt less if you stopped commuting just to come here and stayed in your dorm.” Flux berated him.

Saps made sure to ignore the comment Flux just said, instead opting to revert the topic back to his suffering. "I think the coach hates me."

"He doesn't."

"I almost died." Saps emphasized.

"You didn't." Flux shrugged.

"I spiritually did." Saps whined stubbornly.

Flux rolled his eyes before sliding another ice pack toward him. "Use it."

Saps blinked, before he took the ice pack without hesitation. "Thanks."

After a long beat of silence passed, Flux decided to speak up again. "You'll make the team."

"What if I don't?" Saps muttered.

"You will." Flux affirmed.

"What if—"

"Saps."

"...Yeah?"

Flux looked at him, his deep purple eyes staring at Saps’ golden ones seriously. "Stop thinking."

"...That's impossible."

"I know."

Three days later—Flux's phone buzzed halfway through his afternoon lecture.

Saps: 

I MADE IT

Then another.

Saps:

 FLUX

Another.

Saps: 

THEY PICKED ME

Another.

Saps: 

CALL ME

Another.

Saps: 

IM CRYING

Flux smiled despite himself. After class, he called, saps answered before the first ring finished.

"I MADE THE TEAM!" A loud voice echoed from his phone’s speaker that it sounded like borderline static.

"I heard." Flux answers calmly, as he walked back from his campus to his dorm.

"I MADE THE TEAM!" Saps screamed with emphasis, from his tone alone, Flux could tell Saps most likely just finished crying out of joy.

"You've said that twice." Flux teased him.

Saps paid no mind to it. "I'M SAYING IT AGAIN!"

Flux laughed. "I told you."

Saps laughed with him, before eventually calmin down. "You did!"

"I was right."

"You were."

"I usually am." Flux said smugly.

Saps groaned, but they both knew it was out of fondness. "Oh, don't start, I deserve this moment!”

Flux didn’t deny it, instead opting to say,  "You also deserve congratulations."

The other side of the call paused for a while, before Saps softly answered, "...That too."

That evening, they celebrated with convenience store food eaten inside Flux’s dorm because Saps insisted  to celebrate it with him, saying something along the lines of ‘Flux being the only person who he’ll ever think about celebrating this kind of achievement with.’ 

Flux still wasn't sure what that meant.

—

A week later, the invitation arrived.

A joint freshman celebration. Students from all four of the country's top universities.

Music. Food. Too many people. And far too much alcohol.

Saps practically bounced into Flux's dorm as he waved the invitation in front of his face. "You're coming."

"No." Flux said immediately.

Saps whined. "You didn't even think about it."

"I did.

"For how long?"

"Half a second." Flux said matter-of-factly.

"Flux."

"No."

Saps pressed both of his palms together in some sort of plea. "Please?"

"No."

"I'll buy dinner."

"No."

"I'll commute less and won’t bother you as much anymore!” Saps begged, going as far as resorting to that.

Flux hated that suggestion, but it was the only one he could consider reasonably enough, because it’ll allow Saps to save and have more rest. "...That's emotional manipulation."

Saps finally smiled at that, "It worked."

"It absolutely did not." Flux denied.

"You hesitated."

Flux sighed. "I hate you."

"You love me." Saps replied before he could even think about his statement.

Saps only realized after Flux stopped to stare at him with bewilderment, then he laughed a little bit too loudly and nervously. "As a friend!" He adds too quickly.

Flux forced a laugh of his own, as if he didn’t just feel his heart drop at that. "...Yeah."

As a friend. Of course.

—

The party was louder than anything Flux had ever willingly attended.

Music pulsed through the venue hard enough that the walls seemed to vibrate. Students wore different university jackets with ridiculous amounts of school pride.

Westhelm. Infernus. Tri-color. Requiem.

Everywhere he looked were simply strangers with faces he subconsciously blurred in his vision.

Saps, meanwhile, had apparently befriended half the room within thirty minutes.

"...How?" Flux asked, partly out of sheer awe.

"I said hi." Saparata answered simply.

"You can't just—"

"I literally did."

Flux shook the plastic cup someone handed him. "I don't even know who gave me this."

"I think his name was Daniel." Saps replied helpfully.

Flux tilted his head at that, "You know his name?"

"I asked." Saps shrugged.

"...You're exhausting."

"So I've been told."

Eventually, hours have already passed, yet the music somehow became louder. Along the way, someone challenged Saps to a shooting contest on a mini basketball arcade machine tucked in the corner.

He won, naturally, and his prize was another drink. Then another.

Flux watched him drink himself to insobriety, and although had a few drinks himself, he wasn’t quite drunk yet, just pleasantly warm.

The edges of the room had softened. Saps, however… Had become dramatically more affectionate. 

"Flux." Saps called him.

Flux turned around to face a white-haired man with a face so flushed, the entirety of it was almost pink. "Hm?"

"You're really pretty." He said without much thought, his words all slurred up a little.

"...You're drunk."

"A little." Saps admitted.

"A lot." Flux corrected him.

Saps grinned lazily. "I missed you this week."

"You saw me three days ago."

"Too long." Saps whined, any sort of dignity he had left seemingly vanished when too much alcohol enters his system.

Flux stayed quiet for a little while after that, it was Saps who had to speak up again. "You always smell nice."

"...Saps."

"What?"

"Drink some water." Flux ordered, handing him a red cup filled with ice-cold water.

Saps scrunched up his nose, as if he wanted to complain, but he didn’t, once he registered the one giving him water was Flux. "I like talking to you." he comments, while he chugs the water down in one go.

"I know." Flux hummed.

"I really like talking to you."

"I know." Flux repeated.

Someone bumped into them, causing them to move closer to each other. Before any of them could process it, someone else—who Flux actually knows who, It’s Saparata’s brother, Micro—shouted that the hallway was quieter. 

Saps scoffed when he turned to look at his brother, before he grabbed Flux's wrist without thinking. "C'mon." 

Before Flux could protest—They were walking. Down a hallway. Away from the music.

The room they entered was dim, private, and quiet, almost startlingly so after the noise outside.

Saps leaned against the wall, letting out a long sigh. "My head's spinning."

Flux rolled his eyes as he scoffed. "You've had too much."

"...Probably."

Flux stepped closer. "You should sit down."

Instead, Saps looked up at him. Really looked. His smile was softer now. Unusually quiet as he attentively watched Flux guide him to sit on the bed. "...Hi."

Flux tried to feign nonchalance, but he couldn't help smiling back. "...Hi."

For a moment… Neither of them spoke. The silence didn't feel awkward. It never had between the two of them. 

Saps lifted one hand, almost absentmindedly, brushing a loose strand of hair away from Flux's forehead. "There."

Flux's breath caught. "Saps..."

"Hm?"

"You should..."

His sentence never finished.

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was months of missing each other despite living in the same city. Maybe it was years of feelings neither of them had ever dared to name.

Or maybe… It was simply that, for one suspended heartbeat, neither of them stepped away.

The distance between them disappeared.

And before Flux's hazy mind could fully understand what was happening—Saps' lips met his.

Soft. Tentative. Warm.

Flux froze. His thoughts scattered all at once. He should pull away. He knew he should.

But instead… For one impossible, fleeting moment… Flux kissed him back.

Fluixon Aculon and Saparata Theria kissed each other back. 

The music outside continued to thrum through the walls, yet neither of them heard it anymore.

—

The first thing Flux noticed was warmth.

The second… Was that this definitely wasn't his bed.

His eyes opened slowly. White ceiling. Different curtains. A desk cluttered with engineering textbooks. A basketball resting against the wall.

His heart stopped.

No, no, no, no.

He turned his head, and he had to squint his eyes as he was greeted by the sunlight shimmering on the white hair that belonged to the man beside him.

Saparata Theria was asleep beside him.

Still wearing yesterday's shirt, hair hopelessly messy, one arm flung over the blanket like he'd collapsed the moment they got back.

He looked peaceful, completely unaware of the crisis unfolding beside him three inches away.

Flux's heartbeat slammed against his ribs. Why am I here?

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember—the party, the music, the fact they definitely had too many drinks, the hallway, the quiet room… Then—The kiss.

His face burned instantly.

They kissed.

It was not a dream, nor something Flux had imagined. They had actually kissed.

Flux sat upright so quickly the mattress creaked beneath him.

Because of that Saps shifted in his sleep.

Flux froze.

The white-haired male merely groaned as he shifted his position, and when Saps finally settled again, Flux let out the breath he'd been holding.

His pulse refused to slow down. He looked around the room, It wasn't large, just…  comfortable. Books stacked messily by subject, sticky notes covering one wall, a whiteboard filled with equations, and a varsity jacket hanging from the closet door. 

Everything somehow looked exactly like Saps.

Flux pressed both hands against his face. "...Get it together." 

There was no point lying here spiraling.

He quietly climbed out of bed—how he'd ended up in Saps' dorm instead of his own… He had absolutely no idea. 

He decided that was a problem for later.

—

The kitchenette was surprisingly clean. Flux found eggs, rice, bread, coffee. "...At least he buys groceries."

Cooking was easier than thinking. He cracked eggs into a pan, measured the rice, boiled water, anything to keep his mind occupied. Anything except replaying last night over and over again.

The kiss. The way Saps had looked at him. The way—

—Before Flux could dwell on it any further, warm arms suddenly wrapped around his waist.

Flux nearly dropped the spatula.

"Saps!" He called, his face flushing bright red in an instant as he glanced from behind.

A sleepy laugh vibrated against Flux’s back, he had to resist the urge to shiver when he felt it. "...Morning." Saps greeted.

"Saparata."

"Mhm?"

"What are you doing?" Flux questioned.

"Hugging you." Saps replied simply.

Flux could swear a vein just popped on his forehead. "I know, I noticed."

"I'm saying good morning." Saps decided to add on helpfully.

"People usually use words."

"I just did."

“…You are also attached to me."

"Right.” Saps confirmed

Before Flux could complain any further, Saps held him tighter, with their proximity, he  could practically feel Saps smiling.

 "You cook?" Saps asked.

"I can."

"You never told me."

"You never asked."

"Huh." A beat passed. "You smell like coffee." Saps commented out of the blue.

Flux deadpanned. "I'm making coffee."

"Makes sense."

Another pause. "...Can I stay here?" Saps mumbled as he buried his face on Fluxs shoulder

"...You're already here."

"I mean like this."

Flux stared stubbornly at the frying pan. "...It’s not like I could stop you."

“Haha, right.” Saps agreed, "I slept well." He added.

"I'm happy for you."

"You didn't?"

Flux didn’t answer that.

Saps filled in Flux’s silence. "You have eye bags."

Flux rolled his eyes at that. "I wonder why."

"Was I snoring?"

"No."

"Did I talk in my sleep?"

"No."

"...Then why?"

Flux closed his eyes. "You." He whispered.

"Hm?" Saps hummed, not quite catching what he just said.

"You." Flux repeated a little louder.

Saps blinked. "...Me?"

"Yes.”

"...I don't understand."

"I know."

Before Saps could comment any further, Flux gently pried his arms away. "Go wash your face."

"Aww." Saps pouted.

"Now."

Saps sighed, but reluctantly followed anyway "Yes, sir." He saluted dramatically before wandering toward the bathroom.

Flux waited until the door closed, once it clicked shut, he covered his face again. 

"...I'm doomed." He says to nobody except himself.

—

Breakfast was quiet.

Not uncomfortable. Just… Careful. The clinking of chopsticks filled the room, Saps stirred his coffee absentmindedly, and Flux focused very intensely on his eggs.

Finally, after some moments of silence, Saps cleared his throat before speaking. "Sooo..." 

Flux looked up. "...What?"

"About last night."

His stomach dropped.

Saps scratched the back of his neck. "...I'm sorry."

The words hit harder than they should have, Flux looked down at his plate to avoid eye contact.

Of course. Of course Saps regretted it.

Why wouldn't he? He'd been drunk—naive and clueless—It had been a mistake.

 A stupid, alcohol-fueled mistake.

Flux should've stopped it. He'd been less drunk, after all. He should've known better. "...Forget it."

Saps frowned at that reply quickly. "...What?"

"It doesn't matter."

"No, I—"

"It was an accident."

"It wasn't—"

"You were drunk." Flux argued.

"Slightly." Saps defended.

"I wasn't sober either."

"Flux—"

Flux interrupted him with a reply so sharp it could’ve sliced his heart apart. "I should've pulled away."

Silence.

Flux forced himself to keep speaking. "It shouldn't have happened."

Saps went quiet at that.

"So forget it."

Saps stared at him. "Forget... the kiss?"

Flux's fingers tightened around his mug. "...Yeah."

Saps replied immediately. "No."

Flux blinked. "...No?"

"I'm apologizing because I kissed you without asking."

Flux eyes widened for a fraction at that.

"Not because I regret it, because I don’t.” Saps emphasized.

Flux lost his trail of thought as he searched Saps' face. There wasn't any embarrassment. No disgust or awkwardness, only concern.

"...You don't?"

Saps shook his head immediately. "No." A short pause settled, before he continued. "Though, I guess I would've liked it to happen differently."

Then, he looked at Flux again, his golden eyes shimmered with something Flux couldn’t quite read. "But I don't regret kissing you." Saps ends with that.

Flux's heartbeat started all over again. "...Saps."

"I just didn't want you thinking I took advantage of you."

"You didn't." Flux replied too quickly.

Saps continued anyway. "I still should've asked."

"...Probably."

"So..." Saps laughed nervously. "...We're okay?"

Flux looked away.

For someone people would consider pretty smart, Flux didn't understand. If Saps didn't regret the kiss… Then what did he want? He couldn't possibly—No.

Saps would've said something, if it was that—if Saps liked him back.

Unless… Unless he simply didn't want things to become complicated.

They were busy university students, after all—too focused on studying to better their futures—most especially Saps.

And maybe… He wanted something uncomplicated; No labels. No expectations. Just… Whatever this was.

Flux's chest tightened. It wasn't what he wanted. Not even close. But asking for more… Would probably end everything.

He inhaled slowly. "...Then..."

Saps waited. 

"...We don't have to pretend it never happened." Flux settled.

For a split second, Saps’ eyes glimmered brightly with something akin to hope. "...Yeah?"

Flux nodded once. "If..." The words felt strangely heavy. "...If you want, we could just..." He struggled to find the right phrase. "...Keep things simple."

Saps tilted his head. "...Simple?"

"No commitments." Flux started. "No pressure… And no expectations."

Understanding slowly settled across Saps' face—not the correct understanding—but an understanding nonetheless.

Flux continued quietly. "If we're both okay with it, we can just see where it goes."

Saps' heart sank. He doesn't want to date me.

The realization hurt more than he'd expected. But… Flux wasn't rejecting him completely. He was still reaching out. 

Just… Not in the way Saps had secretly hoped.

Saps looked down at his untouched breakfast.

He could ask. He could tell Flux he'd wanted something real for far longer than one drunken night and be honest. 

He could.

But what if asking scared Flux away?

What if even this disappeared? What if… This was all Flux was willing to give? 

Losing the possibility of more was terrifying. But losing Flux entirely… It was unimaginable.

So Saps smiled, small and gentle. "...Okay.”

Flux looked relieved—painfully relieved. "...Really?"

Saps nodded. "If that's what you want..."

Flux smiled back. "...Thank you."

Neither of them noticed the irony.

Saparata Theria believed he had just agreed to settle for scraps because the person he loved could never love him the same way.

Fluixon Aculon believed the person he loved had generously accepted the only kind of affection he was willing to receive.

Both walked away from breakfast convinced they had protected the other.

Neither realized they had just built the misunderstanding that would define the next four years of their lives.

—

Sometimes the kisses happened because they hadn't seen each other in days, or because one of them was stressed, or because Saps had successfully survived another impossible exam, or even because Flux had finished another architecture plate without sleeping for thirty-six hours.

Sometimes… There wasn't a reason.

Saps would arrive at Flux's dorm, kick off his shoes, complain about a lesson in engineering that Flux refused to understand, and Flux would hand him tea.

Saps would smile, and somewhere between hello… And homework… Their foreheads would touch—and kiss, like they had all the time in the world.

No urgency. No desperation. Just… Quiet affection.

Then they'd return to studying as if nothing had happened, neither of them ever asked, "What are we?" Because they were both terrified of the answer.

—

[ 1st Year - March 11th, 20XX ] 

When the University Athletic Association announced applications for its student media team around the last semester of first year, Flux submitted his portfolio on a whim.

Writing has always come naturally, but speaking… less so.

Still, architecture students rarely had time for extracurriculars, so he figured it wouldn't hurt if he wouldn't get in.

Yet three weeks later—he received an email. ‘Congratulations!’

He had been selected as one of the association's official courtside correspondents, and not just for any sport. He was the correspondent for basketball—the entire season.

Flux reread the email five times, then quietly smiled. "...He's going to lose his mind."

He didn't tell Saps—not when they had dinner that evening, nor when they had their nightly phone call. Not even when Saps complained for twenty minutes about defensive rotations.

Flux wanted to see his surprised reaction. Just this once.

—

Game day. Westhelm versus Requiem.

The arena buzzed long before tipoff. Saps stretched with the rest of the team, glancing toward the stands every few minutes, this was Westhelm’s first game of the season, and he practically had to push through the first semester of his university life practicing for this very moment.

His phone vibrated in his locker, and he immediately picked it up, hoping that it was Flux who messaged; It wasn’t, and he visibly frowned. He personally asked Flux to come to his very first game for Westhelm, and the dark purple haired boy said he’d consider it—which basically meant ‘I’ll come!’ in Saps’ language.

Saps:

 where are you :(

No reply. He tried again.

Saps:

 i miss u

Still nothing.

Saps:

 rude

The coach called everyone in, yelling “PHONES AWAY!” so aggressively Saps nearly let go of his phone out of sheer shock. 

Still, he followed the order anyway, quickly shoving it inside his duffer bag as he followed his teammates. It was game time.

—

If Saps played distracted… Nobody could tell. He moved like he'd been born to play this sport—every pass felt calculated and precise, and every defensive rotation was perfectly timed.

Students watching joked that he treated basketball like another piece of homework.

By the fourth quarter, the crowd had begun chanting his name. "SAPS!" "SAPS!" "SAPS!"

The final buzzer blew. The University of Westhelm has won their first game of the season, very comfortably, might I add.

Saparata’s final stats were the following: Twenty-seven points. Nine rebounds. Seven assists. Three steals. With this, Saparata Theria was named the MVP of the game. 

His teammates shoved him toward center court. "MVP interview!" Turntapp called out to him. 

"Go!" His brother—Micro—ordered, shoving him to go to the courtside roughly. "Don't embarrass us!" 

"I would never do that." Saps huffed.

Micro rolled his eyes "You absolutely would."

Saps laughed as someone handed him a towel, he wiped the sweat from his forehead before walking toward the designated interview area.

The courtside correspondent already stood waiting, his face was turned away from Saps, making him face his back, but he could recognize that figure even if it was just a mere silhouette.

"...Flux?" Saps called, his tone was something akin to disbelief and pure awe.

Flux finally turned around, facing Saps as he smiled, he looked so professional, though the corners of his eyes softened almost imperceptibly.

"Good afternoon, Saparata."

Saps stared. "...You're the correspondent?"

Flux nodded once. "For basketball."

Saps was borderline speechless. "...Since when?"

"Since the beginning of the season.” Flux snorted in response.

"You never told me."

Flux shrugged. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

Saps couldn’t believe it, Flux rarely did surprises, he let out a huff of disbelief. "...It worked."

Behind the cameras, one of the producers quietly counted down. "We’ll be starting in three…"

Saps was still staring. “…Two..."

Flux adjusted his earpiece with practiced ease. “…One.”

The camera light blinked red. They were live.

Flux's entire demeanor shifted. His posture straightened, his voice became clear, confident, and measured. "Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Fluixon Aculon of Infernus University reporting courtside for today's post-game interview."

Saps forgot how to breathe.

When… When did Flux get this good?

This was the same Flux who once hated introducing himself during class. "...Today, I'm joined by Westhelm’s Most Valuable Player, Saparata Theria."

Flux turned toward him with the same calm smile. "Saparata."

Saps blinked dumbly as he stuttered. "...H-Huh?"

Flux didn’t react. "...Congratulations on today's win." He opted to reply.

Yet Saps stood quiet, Flux called out to him. "...Saps?"

"Oh!" He straightened so abruptly he nearly dropped the towel in his hands. "R-Right."

The camera operators had to bite back a smile.

Flux, somehow, maintained perfect composure. "Twenty-seven points, nine rebounds, seven assists." He glanced briefly at his notes. "You looked remarkably comfortable directing the offense today, can you walk us through your thought process for today’s game?"

Saps opened his mouth. Nothing came out, all  because Flux looked… Ridiculously good.

His usually fluffy and messy hair was neatly styled for broadcast, the blazer fit him perfectly and complemented his violet eyes well, and the media badge rested against his chest like it belonged there, oh, and don’t even get him started on his voice—his stupid, confident, and amazingly handsome voice—

"...Saparata?"

"Oh." Saps coughed. "Sorry."

The technical crew watching had to mentally pray to Ish that not many people were watching one of the greatest rookie and future golden boy of Westhelm mess up this badly.

"I..." He rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks warming. "I wasn't prepared for... this."

"For the interview?"

"...For you." The words slipped out before he could stop them.

Silence.

A dangerous, heartbeat-long silence.

Flux's expression flickered for the briefest instant before years of self-control snapped back into place.

The camera operators suddenly found the floor fascinating.

One of Saps' teammates—Schpood, their senior captain—audibly whispered, "...This absolute chud, dude."

Realizing what he'd just said, Saps' face turned crimson. "I—I mean..."

He pointed helplessly at Flux. "You look..." His brain completely abandoned him.

"...Very..."

Another beat.

"...Reporter."

Someone behind the camera snorted.

Flux pressed his lips together for a fraction of a second. Almost smiling.

"Thank you," he said with perfect composure. "I think."

Saps wanted the hardwood to open beneath his feet and swallow him whole. 

This was worse than missing a free throw. Worse than failing an exam. Worse than accidentally calling a professor "mom."

Because the only coherent thought left in his head was one he absolutely could not say into a live microphone.

Why is Flux so attractive?

And, judging by the amused look hidden behind Flux's professionalism… Flux had absolutely no idea he'd been the cause of Saps' complete system failure.

"Would you like to try answering the question this time?" Flux asked, one eyebrow lifting ever so slightly.

The familiar expression snapped Saps back to reality. "...Right." He coughed into his fist, taking a steadying breath. "Sorry."

"No worries." Flux reassured him, as if Saps hadn't just short-circuited on live television.

"...Our offense flowed really well today," Saps began, finally slipping into the confident rhythm he always found whenever basketball was involved. "The coach emphasized that we should focus on quick ball movement this week, so instead of forcing shots, we trusted each other to make the extra pass."

Flux nodded along. "You finished with seven assists despite leading the team in scoring. Was that part of the game plan?"

"It was." Saps smiled, this time with much more confidence. "If everyone focuses on getting their own numbers, we lose. If everyone trusts each other..." He shrugged. "The points kind of come naturally."

"Your fourth-quarter defense also shifted noticeably. What changed?"

"We started switching more aggressively on the perimeter."

"You weren't worried about mismatches?"

"I trust my teammates."

Flux smiled. Barely. "But they also trust you."

"...I hope so."

"They certainly played like it today."

Saps laughed softly. "I'll tell them you said that."

"I'd appreciate the credit."

"I'll take it instead." Saps immediately replied.

Flux sighed. "I expected nothing less."

Another quiet laugh escaped the production crew. The interview somehow stopped feeling like an interview. It felt… Like two friends talking but only one of them happened to be holding a microphone.

Flux glanced at his notes one last time. "My final question."

Saps nodded.

"You've had an incredible start to your freshman season."

Saps shrugged, "I've been lucky."

"I don't think luck earns MVP." Flux retorted.

Saps simply chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck.

Flux shook his head. "What would you like to say to everyone supporting you?"

Saps looked toward the packed Westhelm section on the bleachers. The students were still cheering despite the game having ended several minutes ago.

He smiled. "I hope..." His voice softened. "...I hope I can keep making everyone proud." Then, after the smallest pause, "My teammates, my coaches, my family..."

"...And the people who've believed in me from the very beginning."

Flux held his gaze for half a heartbeat longer than necessary. "...Thank you for that wonderful answer, Saparata."

Saps simply smiled and chuckled. "Thank you too, Fluixon."

"...This has been Fluixon Aculon of Infernus University, reporting from courtside. Congratulations once again to Westhelm on today's victory."

The camera light turned off. "Clear." Someone from the technical crew announced.

The moment the broadcast ended—Saps dramatically covered his face with both hands. "Oh my god."

Flux finally laughed. A real laugh. "You survived."

"I embarrassed myself on national television."

"It wasn't national." Flux offered, Saps wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be comfort.

"Regional television." Saps corrected himself.

Flux snorted, "Better."

"It is not better!"

Flux clipped the microphone back onto his belt. "You recovered."

"Barely."

"You answered every question."

"I called you..." He groaned. " 'Very reporter.' “

"...You did."

"I don't even know what that means."

"I don't either."

"I'm never living this down."

"No."

Saps pointed accusingly. "This is your fault."

"My fault?"

"You never told me!"

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"You succeeded!"

"I know."

"I almost had a heart attack."

"I noticed."

"You were so..." He gestured helplessly. "...Professional!"

"I was working."

"You were amazing!"

Flux blinked. "...Thanks."

"No, seriously." Saps's eyes lit up all over again. "I've never seen you like that before, you looked so confident and you sounded like you've been doing it your whole life."

Saps continued, "I was sitting there thinking—" then all of a sudden, stopped himself.

Thinking what? That Flux looked breathtaking standing courtside with a microphone? Absolutely not. He valued his dignity.

"...Thinking?"

Saps coughed. "...That you did really well."

Flux smiled knowingly. "I'll accept that version."

Saps pouted. "You still should've told me."

"It would've ruined the surprise."

"I don't like your surprises."

"You'll survive."

"I almost didn't."

"You definitely did."

Saps folded his arms. "...I'm still upset."

"You'll get over it."

"...Probably."

A beat. "...Eventually."

Flux chuckled. "So dramatic."

"I learned from the best."

"I don't think you did."

"I absolutely did."

—

By the time the arena had mostly emptied, Saps was walking beside Flux toward the train station.

"So..."

"Hm?"

"We're celebrating."

"For your win?"

"And your first broadcast."

Flux blinked as he looked away, "It wasn't my first."

Saps stopped walking. "...What?"

"I covered for Infernus and Tri-color’s match last week."

"...You WHAT?"

"I told you, I joined the media organization, the one that Sidefall runs."

Saps looked personally betrayed, he knew Sidefall—he was a student that was studying in Requiem University, and despite being a freshman just like Saps and Flux, he quickly built his way up to an executive position for the media organization that handles their university’s athletic association.

Saps’ most memorably memory of Sidefall was when he ambushed Saps in his own university’s campus and pulled him into an interview with suspiciously controversial questions.

Saps sighed,  "You've been hiding an entire career from me."

Flux rolled his eyes at his dramatics, yet Saps simply giggled as he bumped their shoulders together. "Come over?"

Flux’s eyes widened. "To your dorm?"

"Mhm."

Flux hesitated, "I should go back to my dorm."

Saps pouted at that, "Please?" He pleaded. "We'll order food!" He tried to persuade him.  "I'll even let you choose the movie, and I promise I won’t complain and let you know that it's boring."

"You'll absolutely do none of that."

Saps raised a hand and placed it on his heart. "I swear on Ish above I will."

Flux looked at him with amusement. He looked at the bright smile, the lingering excitement from the game, the unmistakable happiness that seemed to radiate from him.

His resolve lasted approximately four seconds. "...Fine."

Saps threw both hands into the air. "YES!"

"But only tonight."

"You always say that."

"I mean it."

"You never do."

"...Let's just go before I change my mind."

"You won't."

"I might."

"You like me too much." Saps said a little too easily.

Flux's heart lurched. "...Don't flatter yourself."

—

Saps' dorm room was exactly as Flux remembered, albeit a little messier. A basketball jersey hung over the chair, open notebooks covered the desk and it seemed Saps had somehow balanced three engineering textbooks on top of a rice cooker.

With that, dinner became takeout noodles eaten cross-legged on the floor, then came the dessert, which was really just whatever snacks Saps had hidden in his cabinets. Eventually, they settled onto the bed with a movie playing on Saps' laptop.

Halfway through—Flux yawned.

"You can sleep." Saps told him after the yawn.

Flux shook his head. "I'm awake."

"You yawned."

"I'm watching."

Saps smiled. "...Liar."

"I'm not!” Flux denied.

Saps pointed a finger at him accusingly. "You've blinked once in the last three minutes."

Flux blinked at the weird observation and tried not to think too deep about it. "...That's because I'm concentrating."

"Mhm." Saps shifted until he was sitting against the headboard. "Here."

Flux looked over. "What?"

"Come here."

"...Why?"

"So you can recover and get some sleep.”

“…I'm fine."

Saps playfully rolled his eyes at that. "Says the architecture student who voluntarily survives on four hours of sleep."

"...Fair." Flux sighed.

Saps patted his lap. "C’mon now, you can use me as a pillow."

Flux stared. "...Absolutely not."

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not a reason."

"It is."

"You've let me use your shoulder before."

"That's different."

"How?"

"...It just is."

Saps puffed out his cheeks. "Please?"

Flux held out for another ten seconds. "...Only because you're stubborn."

Saps just looked at him knowingly. "I knew you'd cave in."

"I resent that."

"You can resent it comfortably." Saps hummed, patting his lap again just to tempt Flux to give in.

Muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'insufferable,' Flux carefully laid down, resting his head on Saps' thigh. The position should have been awkward, but instead it was warm and comfortable. Dangerously so.

Saps absentmindedly ran his fingers through Flux's hair without much thought. As he did so Flux found his eyes slowly drifting shut.

The movie became distant background noise. His breathing gradually evened.

After a long beat of silence, Saps smiled to himself. "...Knew you'd fall asleep." He said as he looked down.

 Flux looked peaceful, more relaxed than Saps had seen him in weeks. Careful not to disturb him, Saps continued carding his fingers through his hair.

His voice dropped a little quieter. "So unfair." He whispered. "You always look the prettiest when you're sleeping."

Flux's heartbeat quietly picked up. He wasn't asleep. Not quite. He'd only been too comfortable to move.

"I don't think you know what you do to me." A tiny, almost self-conscious laugh escaped Saps. "I keep telling myself not to want more."

He continued softly. "But every time you're around..." He looked toward the laptop screen, though he wasn't really watching the movie anymore. "I end up wishing this could just..."

His thumb brushed lightly through Flux's fringe. "...Stay."

Another silence.

"I know this is enough." He smiled sadly. "...Or at least… I keep telling myself it should be."

Flux's chest tightened. He understood. Or rather… He thought he did.

‘Saps likes what we have. He's afraid asking for anything else would ruin it. A casual thing... comfortable, uncomplicated… He's saying he wants it to stay this way.’

Relief mixed strangely with disappointment, because wasn't that exactly what Flux himself had suggested?

He should've been happy. 

Instead… For reasons he couldn't quite explain… The words settled heavily in his chest.

Saps let out one last quiet sigh. "...You're my favorite person, So… Just… Don't disappear, okay?"

Flux kept his breathing slow and even. He pretended to sleep pretended he hadn't heard a single word, because if he acknowledged it—He knew wouldn't know what to say.

…And if he said the wrong thing,  he might lose the one person he'd come to, to feel most at home.

So he stayed still, eyes closed, head resting comfortably in Saps' lap. While the movie continued playing to an audience of two boys who loved each other far too much… And understood each other far too little.

—

[ 3rd year, July 11th, 20XX ] 

Before Flux and Saps knew it, their university life passed quickly like a flashing light.

And as he reached his second to last year, Saparata Theria had become a campus legend. Not just at Westhelm, every university in the athletic association knew his name.

Engineering professors cited his research. Basketball analysts praised his court vision. Freshmen whispered whenever he walked past. Upperclassmen complained that it was unfair that someone could be that smart and that athletic.

Even students from other universities—students who had never spoken to him—recognized him immediately.

Flux liked seeing Saps succeed. He really did. He just… Didn't particularly enjoy everyone else noticing it too.

—

"Isn't that Fluixon Aculon?"

Flux looked up from the architecture model he was carrying.

Three unfamiliar students stood awkwardly in front of him—they adorned the uniforms of Infernus, though he noted that they didn’t seem to be architecture majors, judging from the different department pins.

"...Yes?" He greeted awkwardly.

One of them smiled sheepishly. "Sorry to bother you."

"We heard you're friends with Saparata Theria."

Flux immediately knew where this was going. "...We are."

The three exchanged excited glances. "So it's true!" One of them whispered, "I told you!" The other replied.

The tallest of the group rubbed the back of his neck. "Would it be okay if..."

He hesitated. "...Could we maybe get his Ishtagram? Or his number? We've been trying to find him."

Flux stared. "...Why?"

They all shrugged simultaneously "He seems really cool, and we’re organizing an inter-university engineering networking event."

"And..." The shortest one added, "...He's kind of handsome." They all giggled.

"...I see."

"Only if he's comfortable with it, of course!” They assured. "We just figured it'd be easier if we asked someone who actually knew him."

Flux's grip tightened slightly around his model.

He could say no. He probably should say no. Except… Saps wasn't his boyfriend. They weren't dating. They'd never promised exclusivity. He had absolutely no claim over who Saps talked to.

"...Here." Against every instinct screaming in his chest—Flux unlocked his phone, openedSaps' profile, and showed them.

"Thanks!" One of them chirped happily. "Seriously, thank you!" The other added. "We owe you one!" After that, the three practically jogged away.

Flux watched them disappear into the crowd.

"...You're an idiot." Thomas appeared beside him carrying two iced coffees, Flux didn’t flinch at the voice, but he was surely startled.

Another familiar face appeared, "I was literally about to say the same thing." Snowbird frowned, one particular thing about Snowbird is that he’s Saps’ cousin, they weren’t that close though, because he remembered the both of them telling him the same story.

 ‘Our last meeting was at a family reunion when we were kids.’ Snowbird and Saps explained, but at different occasions.

Then another voice popped in, "You actually gave them his account?" Rotation blinked.

"...Voluntarily?" Gotoga looked physically pained. "I can't decide whether that was noble or unbelievably stupid."

"It was unbelievably stupid," Seraphim answered.

Flux sighed. "They only asked for his Ishtagram."

"They also found him handsome," Thomas reminded him.

Flux adjusted the strap of his bag. "...They're allowed to ask and find him handsome."

They all stared.

"What?" Flux asked dumbly.

"They were flirting." Gotoga added helpfully.

"I know." Flux answered in return.

"And you helped." Seraphim squinted her eyes at him.

"...Am I not supposed to?” Flux asked, his friends weren’t making any sense to him—or truthfully, he just didn’t wanna delve that deep on why this was such an issue for them.

Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. "I genuinely cannot believe you."

"What? We’re not together," Flux muttered.

Five pairs of eyes immediately turned toward him, Seraphim crossed her arms. "...Are you listening to yourself?"

"We're not." Flux remained firm. “Am I crazy or did I not tell you all about this?”

"You did, and we remember telling you, that despite the fact you might be the smartest one in our group, that the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

"So?" Flux scowled.

"Dude,” Gotoga starts, as he laid his whole arm on Flux’s shoulder like he was slumped. “You’ve kissed, you’ve hugged, you’ve slept in the same bed."

"You celebrated your birthday by staring at each other for twenty minutes instead of cutting the cake." Rotation added to Gotoga’s observations.

Flux sighed. "...That happened once."

"It happened twice," Rotation corrected.

Thomas sighed dramatically. "You're in love with him, and If we even had to guess, you might even have some jealousy simmering  inside you.”

"I don’t." Flux was quick to deny it.

"You absolutely do."

"I'm not jealous, I literally gave his Ishtagram to them."

Snowbird deadpanned, "Then why do you look like someone just kicked your puppy?"

"...I don't." Flux repeated for the nth time.

"You do."

Flux looked away. "...Can we please change the subject?"

His friends exchanged a collective look. They’ve had this same exact conversation at least a dozen of times, and to no avail, It always lead to a dead end.

—

That evening— Flux had barely finished showering when his phone buzzed.

Saps:

 hi :)

He smiled automatically.

Flux:

 Hi.

Saps:

do u know these people???

A screenshot followed. Three unfamiliar profiles. All mutuals with Flux.

Flux:

They approached me today.

Flux:

Asked for your Ishtagram.

Three dots appeared, disappeared, then appeared again.

Saps:

LMAOOOOOO

Flux frowned.

Flux:

What's funny?

Saps: 

you gave it to them????

Flux:

They asked politely.

Saps: 

HJDFHJAS you're unbelievable

Flux:

?

Saps: 

they're flirting with me

Flux:

I know.

Another pause.

Saps: 

well thats unfortunate for them

Flux blinked.

Flux:

Why?

The typing bubble appeared almost instantly.

Saps: 

because im not interested??

Flux: 

You don't even know them.

Saps: 

exactly

Flux: 

They seemed nice.

Saps:

im sure they are

Flux: 

Then why not give them a chance?

The reply came slower this time.

Saps: 

...because of us?

Flux stared at the screen.

Flux: 

Us?

Saps:

 yeah??

His chest tightened.

Flux:

Saps...

Flux:

We agreed there were no strings attached.

Almost a full minute passed.

Saps:

 i know

Flux:

 Then you don't have to reject people because of me.

Nothing.

Flux: 

You're allowed to talk to them.

Still nothing.

Then, another reply came.

Saps: 

i dont want to

Flux:

 Why?

Saps: 

because i already have you

Flux frowned harder.

Flux:

That's not the same thing.

Saps: 

maybe not to you

Flux reread that message three times. Maybe not to you. What was that supposed to mean?

His fingers hovered over the keyboard.

Flux:

Saps

Another message interrupted him.

Saps: 

i dont really wanna entertain anyone else

Saps:

feels wrong

Wrong? How? They weren't dating. They'd specifically agreed—Hadn't they?

Flux:

You shouldn't limit yourself because of me.

Saps: 

im not limiting myself

Flux: 

That's exactly what you're doing.

Another pause. Longer this time.

Saps:

 ...okay

Just one word. Flux waited. Nothing else came. He locked his phone. Unlocked it again. No new messages.

His head hurt.

Saps kept saying things that sounded… Important? Things that almost felt like confessions. Then he'd immediately step back before actually saying anything.

Flux couldn't understand him. Or maybe—He couldn't understand himself.

Unable to untangle the knot in his chest, he set his phone face down on the desk. He didn't reply. Not that night.

—

The silence lasted until the following afternoon.

Then his phone rang. Sap’s caller ID blinked and shimmered on his screen. Flux answered almost immediately.

"...Hi."

"Hi."

Saps sounded unusually hesitant. "...Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"Liar."

“I’m not.” Flux answered quickly, because he truly wasn’t. "...Just a little confused."

A tiny laugh came through the speaker. "...Yeah."

"About yesterday." Flux specified.

"I figured."

Silence settled between them.

Then Saps spoke again. "I wasn't trying to say..." He stopped. "...Never mind."

Flux waited.

After a while, Saps sighed. "You know how crazy this semester's been."

"...Yeah."

"Basketball."

"Yeah."

"I barely have time to sleep."

Flux smiled faintly. "...I know."

"I genuinely don't have the energy to get to know new people, y’know? I'm already struggling to balance everything."  Saps laughed awkwardly. "So… I figured it'd be unfair to lead anyone on."

The knot in Flux's chest slowly loosened.

Of course.

That… Made sense. It was practical and responsible. Exactly the kind of answer Saps would give. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"I was worried you misunderstood."

Flux looked out his dorm window. "...No."

He understood perfectly now.

Saps wasn't rejecting those students because of him. He was rejecting them because he was too busy. 

Basketball. Engineering. Graduation.

There simply wasn't room in Saps' life for a relationship. Not with anyone. Including… Flux.

The realization stung more than it should have.

Because it quietly confirmed something he'd spent years trying not to believe.

If Saps wasn't ready for anyone… Then Flux's chances—The tiny, impossible hope he'd kept hidden in the back of his heart—were probably even smaller than he'd imagined.

"...Thanks for explaining," Flux said softly.

"Anytime." Saps smiled through the phone. "We're okay?"

"...Always." Flux assured him, he’s unaware that his tone sounded kinda hollow.

Thankfully, Saps didn’t notice and simply laughed. "Good."

They talked for another hour. About basketball, assignments (which lead to Saps’ unbelievably long rant about the fact that the thesis defenses in Westhelm had to be done individually.), anything except the conversation they'd almost had.

When the call ended, Flux set his phone on the desk and closed his eyes.

He was relieved. He really was. Because the misunderstanding had been cleared up. 

Yet somehow… His chest felt heavier than it had the day before—whispered the thought before he could stop himself. "...Maybe." A tired smile crossed his face. "...Maybe loving him was always supposed to be enough."

He never realized that if he'd let Saps finish his sentence the day before… Neither of them would've spent the next year misunderstanding the other.

—

[ 4th year - July 10th, 20XX ] 

By the start of their fourth year, it was already official. Saparata Theria has established his legacy in The University of Westhelm.

Not just because of his grades. Not just because of his research. Not even just because of basketball.

It was because of everything.

The impossible combination of things everyone thought shouldn't exist in one person. 

And with all of his seniors graduating long ago—like Schpood, and some which were recent—like 5pyder, the university had already set their eyes for this season’s new captain.

Saparata Theria.

Nobody was surprised when the news was officially announced. After all, It was his final season. His last chance to fully display his legacy and end it beautifully.

Yet somehow… The only thing Saps cared about more than winning was finally telling one person the truth.

He had been planning it for months.

Not a confession. Not some dramatic speech. Just… A question. A simple one. Do you want to go on an actual date with me?

No excuses. No ‘situationship.’ No pretending. Just them. Officially. This was their last year in university life, after all, before they’ll have to face the haunting reality of adulthood and work life.

He had rehearsed his confession so many times that it was embarrassing—during practice, while brushing his teeth, while walking back from class. Sometimes Flux would say something completely normal and Saps would suddenly think…

…Now. Now’s my chance.

Then Flux would smile at him and Saps would lose every ounce of courage he had.

Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

But he was trying! And for once… He was going to be brave.

—

[ 4th Year - July 11th, 20XX ]

The special senior basketball league games was supposed to be another step toward that, It usually happened only every 4 years, wherein the athletic association would mix up all the seniors from different universities included in their program as unique teams.

It was supposed to be fun, and it was! Hell, he was even teamed up with one of Flux’s close university friends—Thomas.

It all went well, except for the fact that his team had lost. 

It wasn’t a horrible loss, nor was it humiliating, it was just… enough, wherein when the final buzzer blew, it simply left a strange emptiness in Saps' chest.

He wasn't angry. Not really. His teammates had fought hard, and they had done everything they could. Sometimes games just slipped away. He could accept that.

What he couldn't accept—was walking off the court and seeing Flux.

Not because Flux was there to see his loss. That was normal and expected, he wasn’t that much of a chud to be embarrassed about it.

It was because Flux wasn't alone. The opposing team's MVP stood beside him, still wearing his jersey, and all sweaty from the game, he smiled confidently as Flux held the microphone toward him.

"...Your performance tonight was incredible. What do you think made the difference in the final quarter?" 

The player—yes, Saps didn’t know his name, he didn’t want to know it right now—laughed. "Honestly? My teammates."

Saps stopped walking as he observed. Something ugly twisted in his stomach. He knew that answer. He had given that answer.

Flux always asked good questions. Always made players comfortable. Always had that calm, professional smile. The same smile that made everyone trust him.

The same smile that was currently being given to someone else.

Someone who had just beaten him.

Someone who was standing where Saps wanted to be.

Saps didn't realize his expression had changed.

But everyone else did.

"Saps?" A teammate chirped, It was Turntapp, he went to the same university as Saps, and they’re even teammates in their original basketball team.

Saps didn't respond.

Turntapp waved a hand in front of his face. "Hello?" 

Nothing.

Another teammate followed his gaze, It was Thomas, "Oh." He immediately grinned once he clicked the pieces together.

Saps noticed his shit-eating grin and turned to look at him. "What?"

"Nothing." Thomas replied quickly.

Saps obviously didn’t believe him. "No, what?"

"You’re glaring." Thomas finally answered.

Saps blinked. "I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm watching the interview."

"You're watching the guy." Thomas said, as he raised a finger to point at the MVP who’s still continuing his interview with Flux.

"I am not." Saps denied once more.

"You look like you're about to challenge him to a duel." Thomas teased.

"I do not."

Thomas would've been proud; Saps being jealous? That was an occurrence he thought he’d never see in his lifetime. 

But that was also the problem; This was Saps, and everyone knew Saps. The guy who apologized when someone else stepped on his shoe, the guy who gave away his seat on the bus, the guy who couldn't even stay angry at professors who assigned impossible workloads.

Seeing him look genuinely irritated was almost entertaining. Almost.

"So..." Thomas smirked. "Should we tell him?" He glanced at his teammates behind them.

"Tell me what?" Saps asked.

"That you’re unbelievably jealous.” Thomas replied without even looking at him.

Saps’ eyes widened at that. "I am not!”

"You absolutely are."

Saps crossed his arms. "I don't like him."

The team went silent. Then someone laughed. "Why?"

"No reason."

"Dude." Thomas started, "You've never hated anyone."

"I don't hate him." Saps huffed, “I just said I don’t like him.”

"That is genuinely the same thing."

Saps looked away.

His teammates exchanged knowing glances. "Oh my Ish." Thomas groaned, “You two really are made for each other, it’s like both of your intelligence cancels out when faced with a situation dealing with facing each other’s feelings.” he murmured, referring to both Saps and Flux, who just finished wrapping up the interview with the MVP.

Saps genuinely wasn’t listening to Thomas, his gaze still fixated on the two. “What’d you say?” he asked dumbly.

Thomas didn’t answer, just sighing and finally walking away to get some peace of mind. “May Ish guide these two.” He whispered to himself.

—

The moment the interview ended, Flux found him. "You disappeared."

Saps was wiping his sweat with his towel as he faced Flux. "I was cooling down."

"You were standing in the hallway."

"Exactly."

"That's not cooling down."

"It technically could be." Saps shrugged.

Flux studied him, already noticing the odd difference. "You've been quiet."

"I'm tired." Saps answered, and it was partially true.

"You're lying."

Saps sighed.

Flux softened. "Bad loss?"

"No."

"Then what?"

Saps looked away. He should lie. He should joke. He should pretend. But after years of hiding everything… He was tired. "...You seemed happy."

Flux blinked. "What?"

"During the interview."

"Because it went well." Flux answered honestly.

Saps grimaced at that. "I know."

"Then?"

Saps hesitated. "...You were smiling at him."

The silence afterward was immediate. Flux stared. "...The MVP?"

Saps immediately regretted saying it. "Forget it."

"No."

"It's stupid."

"No, tell me."

Saps ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I just..." He swallowed. "I hated seeing you with him."

Flux's expression changed. Not anger. Something worse—Confusion. "You hated seeing me do my job?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"I don't know."

"Because he's another player?"

"No."

"Because he won?"

"No."

"Then explain." Flux’s tone grew irritated as he pushed Saps to answer properly.

Saps looked down. "I just didn't like it."

Flux was quiet. "Why?"

The question sounded simple. But somehow… It hurt.

Saps struggled. "Because..." 

Because I want you to look at me like that. Because I want to be the person you choose. Because I spent years pretending I didn't want more. Because I'm tired of sharing pieces of you while pretending I'm okay.

But he couldn't say any of that. So he tried to say the closest thing. "Because I thought..." He stopped—he changed his mind, he’s too much of a coward. "...Never mind."

Flux exhaled. "Saps."

"What?"

"Are you seriously upset because I interviewed someone?"

"No."

"Then what is this?"

"I don't know!" The frustration finally broke through. "I just know I disliked it."

Flux looked hurt. "You know what this sounds like?"

Saps froze. "What?"

"Like you want to control who I talk to."

"No." Saps denied quickly.

"Like you want something from me that you won't actually say."

"No." Saps repeated, though his voice cracked a little at that statement.

"Then what am I supposed to understand?"

"I don't know!" Saps' voice cracked again, but it was more obvious now. "I don't know because every time I try to figure out what we are, we never talk about it!"

The words hung there. Both of them went still. Saps almost couldn’t believe he actually said that.

Flux looked away first. "...We agreed."

"I know."

"No strings." Flux reminded him.

Saps remembered, "I know."

"You accepted that." Flux reminded him again.

"I know."

"Then why are you upset?"

Because that was the problem, Saps had accepted it, but he had never wanted it—never wanted it to be something casual. Yet that felt impossible to explain.

"I'm sorry." Is what Saps opted to say in return.

Flux blinked. "What?"

"I'm sorry." Saps stepped closer. "I shouldn't have reacted like that, I know I don't have the right."

"Saps—"

"I know." He interrupted Flux, his voice became quieter. "I just..." He looked embarrassed. Ashamed. "I care about you too much sometimes."

Flux's chest tightened. "Saps."

"It won't happen again."

"No."

"I promise."

"You don't have to—"

"I mean it." Saps forced a smile. "I'll stop being weird about it."

"You're not weird." Flux replied a little too quickly.

"I am."

"You're not."

"I am." His voice dropped. "And I'm sorry."

And there it was. Again. Saps apologizing for having feelings. Apologizing for wanting. Apologizing for something Flux had never asked him to apologize for.

Flux suddenly felt sick. 

Because for years… He had watched Saps give.

Time. Attention. Affection. Patience.

And every time Saps reached a little closer, Flux had offered him just enough to keep him there.

Never enough to let him know Flux wanted him just as much as he did, because Flux didn’t know how to do that, or where he should even start.

Just enough.

The realization hurt, because Flux knew exactly what he had done. He had created a place where Saps was always waiting. Always hoping. Always asking for less.

"...Saps."

"Hm?"

Flux stepped forward. Then hugged him tightly.

Saps froze. Flux rarely hugged first. 

Flux rested his chin against Saps' shoulder. "It's okay."

Saps went still. "...Really?"

"Really." Flux buried his face more against Saps’ shoulder.

"I didn't mean to." Saps whispered, as he slowly reciprocated the hug.

"I know." Flux murmured.

"I don't want to be difficult."

"I know."

Saps voice was quieter than ever now. "I don't want you to think I'm controlling."

"I know." Flux closed his eyes. Because he did know. He knew Saps better than anyone. And maybe that was the problem. "I promise it's okay."

Saps’ embrace felt tighter than Flux’s now, as relief washed over his face, like those words alone were enough, like being forgiven by Flux was enough.

Flux held him tighter. 

Saps was unaware that it was a final act of kindness, a final moment before everything changed, because while Saps thought this was them fixing something… Flux was thinking about something else.

Something he had been avoiding for months, something that made him hate himself soon enough for even considering it.

Maybe the kindest thing he could do… Was stop letting Saps hope, and maybe the cruelest thing he could do… Was continue.

So they both stayed there, holding the person he loved most, memorizing the feeling. Unaware that this would become one of their last moments before Flux finally broke the one thing they had spent years building. 

Unaware that soon… He would be the one making Saps beg for answers.

—

Fluxion Aculon believed that everyone on campus had the same opinion about him.

He only cared about himself, picked his friends very carefully, and never did anything outside of his university life and organizational workload, and despite the fact he’s aware people also knew that he was smart—as smart as Saparata Theria—If his consistent Dean’s lister standings and how he may also be shortlisted for summa cum laude wasn’t evidence enough, his position as the new president of Infernus’ student council after his sister graduated—also solidified that he was exceptional.

But he was also sure of one thing; People neglected these achievements he had over one singular con he had—his exceptionally cold personality.

Because what was the use of being exceptional when there was someone out there who had the same qualities as you, yet was way more kinder?

So with that, there could only be one conclusion you could draw out from his predicament—If Saparata Theria never existed or came into his life, then maybe he’d be someone who people would flock to instead.

But that doesn’t matter, because there’s also one more quality about Fluixon Aculon that was failed to mention; A life without Saparata Theria is a life that is pointless for Fluixon Aculon.

—

[ 4th Year - October 11th, 20XX ] 

Fluxion Aculon is the way he is because of one very important thing—his family.

Fluixon knew that he’s someone who should be considered lucky when it came to his family, he had wealthy fathers, a sister who fought with him countless of times yet always had his back, and an older brother that was as successful as their fathers. 

Even if Flux decided to fuck his life up, his family’s wealth would’ve already helped him secure a comfortable life.

But his family also had one quality that shaped Flux: They were the kind of people who showed love through achievements. Through opportunities. Through things they believed would secure his future. Never through conversations. Never through staying. 

The first example was Ender, when they sent him to business school in a university abroad, then handed him their first and oldest company—Aculon Empire Corporation—and had him set for life, at the cost of Flux losing his brother’s quality time at a young age. Until now, he has barely seen Ender, he doesn’t even know if he could still recognize his face, if he were ever given the chance to see it again.

The second example is Flux himself, when they decided to send him to Infernus University, and ordered him to get into architecture because he once showed a drawing of their house and their family to them back when he was young—back when they were still physically present.

The only thing they noticed in the drawing was Flux’s potential as an architect, not the fact Flux carefully made sure each unique detail his family had were present.

He wished he could say the same about Cynikka, but she was the only one who seemed to have broken the chain. She was able to decide something for herself; She chose her own course, her own university, and demanded it be done before their parents could intervene.

It made Flux incredibly jealous, but alas, he could never bring it in himself to be furious over his twin sister for it.

Speaking of his sister, his phone suddenly buzzed as he was lost in thought, and when he lazily picked it up, his screen flashed his sister’s caller ID. 

Flux answered after a few rings, “Hello?” he mumbled lazily.

“Hi.” was Cynikka’s simple greeting, It’s been a while since Flux has talked to Cynikka, their last conversation was during Cynikka’s graduation, where he told her the mishaps that happened with Saps.

“Did you receive a text from Father?” She hummed.

Flux blinked, he didn’t answer Cynikka for a moment as he went through his messages and found his father’s contact.

“Yeah, but I haven’t checked it.” Flux informed her.

He could hear his sister release a deep sigh from that, “If it wasn’t so important, I would’ve told you not to open it.”

Flux let out a confused “Huh?” at that, and because he was stupid and curious, he opened it anyway.

Flux froze. ‘Crow’s retiring.’ Is what his father—Elanuelo—messaged him about.

“…What the actual Ish.” Flux breathed out, Cynikka was still in the call with him, she huffed out a sigh herself.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect it either, it was Ender who told me about it, actually.” Cynikka explained, "He reasoned it was because he was tired and growing old, and he wanted to spend his remaining years not rotting as the head architect of Aculon Corp.” 

Flux scoffed at that, “What the ish, sure.” was his intelligent reply, “Why’d they have to text me about it?”

Cynikka let out a confused noise at that, “You bum, did you not read his other texts?”

Flux blinked, of course he didn’t. If he had the choice to not look at it at all, he probably would’ve done it.”

The following messages are as follows: ‘Crow’s giving you the position. He’ll wait it out ‘till you graduate. And when you do. You’ll be personally working under Aculon’s main office with your brother, Ender.’

Silence.

Flux didn't understand. "...What?" The words felt unreal. "They’re giving me Dad’s role?"

Cynikka hummed as confirmation, “mhm.”

"The transition will begin after graduation?” Flux’s disbelief continued, “That’s insane, I’m a fresh graduate! Like Ish I could possibly handle a role as big as head architect already.” He groaned.

Cynikka laughed at that, “You act like they didn’t do the same with Ender, he’s the only fresh graduate I knew before that was able to land an executive position for a company as big as our own—nepotism at its finest, or something along those lines.”

Flux paused at that, she was right.

“…And it’s in the main office.” He sighed, “Which is literally overseas.”

Cynikka verbally grimaced, “…That was the reason that made me call you in the first place, because Father kinda wanted me to convince you, or whatever.”

“I don’t think I can do it.” Flux said immediately. "I have my life here."

"He knows, he reasoned that you could just build a new one." Cynnikka replied quickly.

Flux closed his eyes as he internally laughed. A new one. Because his family always believed that people could simply be replaced just like that, and places could be abandoned just as quickly, as if years could be packed into luggage. "They’ve already decided. Again.”

Cynikka couldn’t find a berating response to that. "You know they’re proud of you, y’know, we’re proud of you." Is what she opted to say instead.

Somehow, that just made it worse, because Flux knew they meant it. It’s why his relationship with his family was something akin to a push-and-pull.

They loved him in the only way they knew how, by handing him the world. Even if it meant taking away the one person who made his world feel like home.

Cynikka spoke up again, “If it makes you feel better, I’m actually going with you.” 

Flux was surprised at that, “You? Going overseas willingly?” Flux almost gaped his mouth in surprise.

Cynikka rolled her eyes at that, but Flux couldn’t see it at the other side of the phone. “Like I’ve ever followed what our parents wanted. Yes, I’m going willingly, I’m not working for Aculon Corp, though, I wanna work for Infernus Enterprises.”

Flux perked up at that, “Our university’s business?” 

“The one and only.” Cynikka confirmed. 

Flux merely sighed, “You’re horridly loyal to our university.” he muttered.

Cynikka only laughed at that. “Well, when it’s something that bloomed from your own personal choice, it’s quite difficult to not love it.” she hummed.

Fluixon Aculon knew she was talking about Infernus, but he couldn’t help his treacherous heart from remembering someone else from her statement anyway.

”So,” Cynikka started again, going back to the main topic, “I know I was ordered to convince you, but I’m sure you’ve expected I’m not doing any of that.” She hummed.

“Instead, I’ll simply ask you to answer as your own—Fluixon, are you willing to let go of the life you have now?” 

Flux paused for a very long while, he imagined himself saying no, screw their parents, screw Aculon Empire Corporation, and screw Saparata Theria as well for making this decision so much harder than it should’ve been.

He did not say any of those, because he’s already went through so much to obey his parents, and an act of rebellion as late as now was just childish.

“…Yeah.” He confirmed hollowly, “I mean, I’d be pretty stupid to not use the golden opportunities already laid out in front of me.” He sighed, it was a shallow reason, but a reason nonetheless.

Cynikka didn’t say anything jokingly, nor in a berating way. “I hope you don’t end up regretting that.” Is the only thing she answered with.

Fluixon Aculon hopes for the same thing as well.

—

[ 4th Year - November 11th, 20XX ]

He didn't tell Saps. Not immediately.

At first, he convinced himself he was waiting for the right moment, then he convinced himself he was protecting Saps from unnecessary stress, then eventually… He stopped admitting the real reason.

Because every time he imagined saying it—‘Saps, I have to leave.’ He imagined the response.

The silence. The hurt. The way Saps would look at him like he was trying to find a solution.

Because Saps always found solutions. He would say they could make it work. He would say distance wasn't impossible. He would say anything.

And Flux knew himself. He knew he would give in. He would stay. He would choose Saps. And maybe that was selfish. Because Saps deserved someone who could choose him completely. Not someone who would eventually leave.

So Flux made a decision. A terrible one.

If Saps hated him… Leaving would be easier.

—

The change wasn't immediate. That would've been suspicious.

So Flux did it slowly. Painfully. A little less texting. A little fewer visits. A little less affection…

…Until Saps noticed. Of course he noticed.

Saps noticed everything. "You've been busy." 

The first time Saps said it, Flux pretended not to understand. "I have."

"You've been busy for three weeks."

"Architecture is demanding, we’re graduating, after all."

"I know." The way Saps said it hurt. Because he wasn't accusing him. He was trying to understand and that was worse. "Can I come over?"

"Not tonight."

"Tomorrow?"

"Probably not."

"Oh." A pause. "Okay."

Saps always accepted it. That was the problem. He always accepted.

—

[ 4th Year - December 11th, 20XX ]

Eventually, the questions started.

"Did I do something?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then why does it feel like you're leaving?"

Flux froze. Because Saps had always been too perceptive, infuriatingly so. "I told you, I’ve been busy."

Saps went quiet. Then smiled sadly. "Right."

Flux hated himself. Because Saps believed him.

Months passed. Months of slowly teaching Saps how to live without him. Months of pretending every message didn't make his heart ache. Months of looking at Saps and memorizing everything. 

His laugh. His expressions. The way he said Flux's name. The way he always reached for him without thinking. Months of convincing himself that this was love. That hurting Saps now was better than destroying him later. Until eventually… There was nothing left to prolong.

—

[ 4th year - Present time. ]

The message came on a quiet evening, a week before their winter break, Flux knew that around this time, Saps should have basketball practice, or at least on his way to the court, basketball season was coming up again after all, so he made sure to pray to Ish above that it’d take a while before Saps could reply to him, at least before then, he could prepare himself mentally and emotionally.

Flux: 

I think we should stop this.

As soon as he hit send, he aggressively placed his phone down on his bed before he buried his face with a pillow. Not even a minute has passed, his phone had already vibrated. Flux flinched unexpectedly. 

Saps: 

what?

The reply came so quickly. Almost too quickly. Flux internally cursed Saps for not even giving him a few minutes to recover.

Flux: 

This isn't working.

Saps' heart sank.

Saps: 

what happened?

Flux: 

Nothing.

Saps: 

then why?

A pause.

Flux: 

I just don't want this anymore.

Despite the fact this was happening virtually, the lie still tasted awful on Flux’s tongue.

Saps: 

you don't want me anymore?

Flux closed his eyes. He couldn't answer that. Because the truth was so far from what Saps just said—he wanted him so badly, yet Flux is a coward, so he chose the lie.

Flux: 

No.

Flux: 

I don't.

The words physically hurts Flux at this point, he feels his heart tightening rapidly. But he continued.

Saps: 

since when?

Flux: 

I don't know.

Saps: 

that's not an answer.

Flux: 

It doesn't matter.

Saps: 

Flux.

Saps: 

please.

His hands shook—nearly dropping his phone, because this was exactly what he wanted to avoid. Saps begging. Saps hurting. Saps trying to fix something that couldn't be fixed.

Flux: 

Please don't contact me anymore.

A long pause occurred, Flux thought that was the end of it.

Saps: 

you’re serious about this?

Flux stared at the screen, the person he loves was just at the other side of it. He was also the person he had to lose.

Flux: 

Yes.

Saps: 

why?

There were a thousand answers. None of them could be said. So he gave the only one that would make Saps let go.

Flux: 

Because I changed my mind.

—

One hour and thirty-six minutes later… Flux received a call from the telephone connected to the reception.

He had a sickening gut feeling that made his stomach twist a little, he already knew who it was.

“Good evening, is this Fluixon Aculon?” The receptionist greeted, her voice slightly static.

Flux didn’t realize how tightly he was gripping the handle of the phone as he spoke. “Yes, this is him.” 

“There's a person named Saparata...” A small pause. “…He says he wants to talk to you.” 

And there it was, Saparata Theria. 

The same person who had once crossed the entire city the first day they came here he couldn't accept that he was so apart from Flux, despite the fact he disliked commuting so much.

The same person Flux loved enough to destroy. "Tell him I’m not coming down." he replied stubbornly.

The receptionist didn’t say anything back, Flux could hear her muffled noise, so he assumed she’s telling Saps about it, and curse his good hearing, but he swore he heard Saps telling the receptionist that he’ll wait.

He decided to end the call after that, as he buried his entire being on his bed and try to succumb to sleep, he didn’t have any classes left anyway, and he was sure that if he really did sleep for at least five or more hours, then Saps will give up waiting in the lobby just to talk to him.

—

It took Flux less than an hour before he abruptly stood up, went out of his dorm, and headed towards the elevator.

He wanted to bash his head on the elevator’s doors while he waited for it to reach his floor, curse him down all you want, but in Flux’s defense, the annoying ticking of his clock alongside his whirlwind of thoughts almost drove him to insanity.

The elevator finally reached him, and not long after, he was already heading out and approaching the lobby.

Flux noticed Saps first before the latter could. “You shouldn’t be here.” 

Yet, it was still Saps that looked at him first. "There you are."

The silence stretched. And then the chaos ensued, because Fluixon Aculon and Saparata Theria may be greatest individually, yet when paired up together, all their intelligence seems to cancel out as they constantly push and pull to prove their own respective stances. 

After Saps’ incessant begging and Flux’s stubbornness, he finally spoke quietly, as if he was finally resigned. "You want an explanation?"

Saps looked up immediately. "Yes."

Flux nodded once. "Fine." The word sounded like surrender, but it wasn't. It was a decision. "We're not good for each other."

Saps froze. "...What?"

Flux forced himself to continue. "This." He gestured vaguely between them. "Whatever this is—whatever we keep pretending isn't affecting us."

Saps stared at him. "How can you say that?"

"Because it's true."

"No, it isn't."

"It is."

"You don't know that."

"I do." Flux looked away. "You're too invested in me."

Saps went quiet.

The accusation hurt more than he expected. "Too invested?"

"Yes."

"I care about you."

"Exactly." Flux looked back at him. "And that's the problem."

Saps frowned. "What?"

"You care too much." The words came out colder than Flux intended, but he needed them to, because if he softened even slightly… He knew he would lose. "You keep rearranging your life around me."

"That's not—"

"You came here."

Saps stopped.

"You skipped practice, you talked about stepping down as captain, and you basically said you would give up everything you spent years working hard for."

Saps looked down. "Because it's you."

And there it was. The sentence that almost destroyed Flux. "That's what I'm talking about."

Saps looked up. "What?"

"That's not healthy." The words were painful to say, but they were true, or at least a portion of it was. "You shouldn't be willing to lose yourself for another person."

"I'm not losing myself."

"You are."

"I'm not."

"You just told me you would throw away everything."

Saps' voice became firmer. "Not for nothing."

Flux swallowed at that reply, because that was the difference between them. Saps saw loving someone as something worth choosing, over and over again no matter the circumstances. Yet Flux merely saw it as something that could ruin them both. "You don't understand."

"Then explain."

"I am."

"No." Saps stepped closer. "You're giving me a reason." His voice cracked slightly. "You're not giving me the truth."

Flux looked away, he should’ve expected this, how no matter how excellent his acting could be, Saps will always figure it out. Because Saparata Theria is smart, and he’ll always get it right, especially when it comes to Fluixon Aculon.

"You think I don't know you?" Saps continued. "I know when you're lying."

Silence.

Flux's fingers curled inside his sleeves.

"I know when you're scared."

"Saps." Flux spoke up, he tried his best to make his voice as commanding and as steady as possible.

"I know when you're pretending something doesn't hurt."

"Stop."

"I know you."

The words were gentle. Not angry. Not accusing. And somehow that made everything worse.

Flux forced himself to look at him. "That's exactly why this needs to end."

Saps went still. "Why?”

"Because you refuse to see anything else."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means you built your entire world around me."

"No, I didn't."

"You did."  Flux's voice finally cracked. "You did, Saparata."

The surroundings around them went silent. "You chose your university because of me, which lead to you gaining so many brilliant achievements—from basketball, to your academics, and so on." He stepped closer. "And yet the first thing you offer me when you're scared to lose me is to throw all of it away."

Saps had no answer. Because that part was true.

Flux softened. Only slightly. Enough to make his next words hurt. "I can't be the reason you stop becoming who you're supposed to be."

Saps stared.

"I can't watch you shrink yourself just because you're afraid of losing me."

"I don't—"

"You do." Flux's eyes dropped. "And I..." He stopped, the next words nearly broke him. "I don't want that responsibility."

It was a lie. The worst kind. Because the truth was the opposite.

He wanted that responsibility. He wanted to be the person Saps chose. He wanted to be the reason Saps came home. He wanted all of it. But wanting something didn't mean he was allowed to keep it.

"I care about you."

Saps looked up.

Flux continued before he could interrupt. "But this isn't good for either of us." 

The words came easier now, not because they were true, but because in the back of his mind, he had practiced this moment, over and over again until it was basically embedded in his brain.  "You're constantly waiting for me to give you something I don't know how to give."

Saps' expression shifted. There was pain, and then recognition.

"You think I don't notice?" Flux laughed quietly. "I notice everything." His voice became softer. "You deserve someone who can give you everything without making you ask."

Saps' eyes lowered.

Finally, Flux decided to end it all with the greatest lie of it all. "I’m not good for you, Saparata, so you need to let me go."

Saps looked at him then, and Flux hated that he could see the exact moment Saps understood—Not the truth, or the version of the truth Flux had carefully constructed. 

The one where Flux was leaving because he cared, because he wanted Saps to grow, and he loved him enough to walk away. 

Saps didn't believe it. Flux knew him, he could see it from the way those golden eyes pierce him all the way to his soul that Saps didn't believe a single word he just uttered. 

But Saps also knew Flux. He knew when Flux had already made a decision, and this time… There’s no certainty that he’ll be changing his mind.

So Saps did the only thing he could. He nodded—small and broken. "...Okay."

Flux's chest tightened. "Okay?"

Saps forced a smile. "If that's what you think is best."

"It is."

"I don't agree." Saps immediately retorted.

Flux froze.

"But I'll respect it." The words hurt more than anger would have, Saps took a breath and stepped closer. "One thing though."

Saps looked directly at him. "I need you to know something."

Flux didn't answer.

"I'm not agreeing because I stopped loving you."

Flux's heart stopped.

"I'm not agreeing because I think you're right."

"Saps..."

"I'm agreeing because I know you." His voice trembled. "And I know you're stubborn."

Flux didn’t know if the noise that he bit back was a laugh or a cry.

"Very stubborn."  Saps emphasized as he smiled faintly. "Painfully stubborn."

Flux had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at that, you could always rely on Saps to lighten the mood despite the situation being so unbearable.

"So if this is really what you want..." He swallowed. "Then I'll let you go."

Flux finally looked away, he didn’t know why, but hearing those words felt impossible when it came from Saps himself, despite the fact that’s what Flux forced him to want.

"But don't misunderstand."

Flux looked back.

Saps' eyes were wet. But his voice was steady. "I'll wait."

Flux froze. "No." That’s not part of what Flux wants, he didn’t want Saps wasting his life waiting for someone like Flux.

"Yes."

"Saparata."

"No matter where you go." Saps affirmed.

"Don't."

"No matter how long it takes."

"Please." Flux almost couldn’t believe it when he uttered that word, the fact that he was the one begging to Saps now was pure irony.

"No matter how stubborn you are." His voice cracked. "I'll still be here."

Flux felt something inside him break. "Saparata."

"You can leave." A tear slipped down Saps' cheek. "But you can't make me stop loving you."

Flux couldn't answer. Because there was no argument, no explanation, no logic—nothing he could say would change that, and maybe that was the cruelest part. Saps wasn't holding him hostage, he wasn't begging—he was simply telling him the truth.

Flux forced himself to do the one thing he had spent months preparing for. "Go home, Saps."

The nickname almost ruined him, earlier, Flux said the same thing, except he used his full name.

Everyone called Saparata Theria ‘Saps’, but it’ll always feel different when it was Fluixon Aculon who said it. 

Saps stood there for a moment. Then nodded. "See you, Flux."

Not ‘Goodbye.’, like what Flux wanted, just ‘See you.’

It was like he was leaving a door open. Like he believed Flux might someday walk back through it.

Flux waited until the Saps stepped out of his dorm’s building through the door. He waited until Saps disappeared—until he couldn’t see the shimmer of Saps’ white hair underneath the newly risen moon and it’s light.

Only then did he finally let himself breathe.

—

Saps didn't cry on the train.

Not when strangers looked at him, nor when the city lights blurred outside the window—not when he unlocked his dorm door and put his bag down.

He held it together.

Because Saparata Theria didn't break.

That was what everyone believed, the person who could handle anything, solved every problem, and always had a plan.

Until the door closed behind him, and there was no one left to pretend for. The first sob came before he even reached his bed, then another, and another.

And suddenly everything hurts.

Every morning he woke up knowing Flux existed, every night he slept knowing Flux would still be there, every small moment he thought meant something. 

Every kiss. Every hug. Every time Flux looked at him like he mattered.

Gone.

Not because Flux didn't love him—That was the worst part, because Saps knew. Somewhere deep down… He knew. Flux must have loved him, he hadn’t processed if it was platonic or romantic love, all he knew is that there was care in Flux’s love.

And somehow… That made losing him hurt even more. Because it meant the person who cared for him the most had still decided to let go of him.

And for the first time in years—Saparata Theria had no solution, no strategy, no answer. Nothing. Just grief. And a room that suddenly felt far too empty.

—

[ 4th Year - Present time; March 11th, 20XX ]

Graduation season has finally arrived, and Saps has become everything everyone knew he could be, he graduates, he now has a bachelor’s degree, and he has medals stacked on his neck to the point it almost strained him.

He achieved every dream Flux wanted him to chase.

And the only thing he couldn’t master is letting Flux go.

The tragedy is that Flux's plan worked perfectly, Saps became extraordinary, the only problem was that It just didn't make either of them happier.

Then there was basketball, everyone knew how the season would end, after all, the University of Westhelm had spent four years building toward this moment.

Four years of rebuilding, of people asking whether they could ever make it all the way. And standing at center court for the final seconds of the championship game was the person everyone expected.

Saparata Theria. Captain. Leader. The face of Westhelm’s basketball. Their special golden boy. 

The final buzzer sounded. For one second, nobody moved. 

Then the arena exploded. Teammates rushed toward him, the crowd screamed his name, and confetti in all different colors fell from the ceiling. Saps stood there, breathing heavily, staring at the scoreboard.

Champions. They did it. They actually did it.

His teammates tackled him in celebration. Someone grabbed the trophy. Someone else was crying. Their coach was openly emotional.

And Saps… Saps smiled. Because somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a quiet thought. Flux would've liked this.

The thought came naturally. It always did. Even after everything.

Especially after everything.

The awards ceremony felt like a blur; Best Player, Championship MVP, Team Captain Award—he accepted every trophy with the same smile. The same humility. The same Saparata Theria everyone knew.

But when the announcer called his name one more time, he froze.

"For today's post-game MVP interview, joining us courtside is our correspondent, Fluixon Aculon."

The world stopped—not completely—the crowd was still cheering, the cameras were still moving, people were still celebrating. But for Saps… Everything narrowed.

Standing beside the court, microphone in hand, and the same posture and calmness. Fluixon Aculon.

For a moment, Saps forgot how to breathe.

Then Flux looked at him. And for the briefest second—The professional mask slipped.

Just enough. Just enough for Saps to know. He wasn't the only one struggling.

—

The camera light turned on.

Years ago, Saps had stood in front of that same camera and completely lost his ability to function.

Back then, Flux had been unexpected. A surprise.

A person he loved suddenly appeared in a place he never expected him to be.

Now… Flux was still unexpected.

"Good evening." Flux's voice was steady. "I’m Fluixon Aculon of Infernus University, reporting courtside after Westhelm’s championship victory."

 He turned. "And I'm joined by this year's championship MVP, Saparata Theria."

Saps smiled. A real one. "Good evening, Fluixon."

The familiarity of his name almost broke Flux. "Saparata, congratulations."

"Thank you."

"You've had an incredible final season." Flux glanced at his notes. "Championship title. MVP honors. And the overall leading player for one of the most dominant seasons in Westhelm’s history."

A small smile. "When you look back at this year, what does this moment mean to you?"

Saps didn't hesitate. Not this time. 

"It means everything." His answer was immediate. "Not because of the trophies."

The crowd quieted slightly. "But because of the people who got me here."

He looked toward his teammates. "My coaches, the people who supported me..." 

Saps glanced at Flux when he said this part, “…The people who believed in me when I wasn't sure I could do it."

Flux listened carefully, if he were honest, the answer was an exact replica of the answer Saps stumbled through during their first interview, yet this time, this Saps was confident, the kind of person Flux always knew he could become. 

The questions continued despite Flux’s inner turmoil—Strategy. Leadership. The final play. The pressure of being captain for Saps.

Saps answered everything perfectly.

No stuttering. No nervous laughter. No losing his train of thought because Flux was standing in front of him.

Not Until the final question.

Flux looked down at his notes. Then back up. "Saparata."

"Yes?"

"You've achieved almost everything a student athlete could hope for."

A pause. Saps had to fight back the urge to laugh because of the irony—‘achieved almost everything’. Right, except for the person he has constantly fought for, who’s standing in front of him right now.

"You're graduating this year." Flux continued. "You're expected to graduate summa cum laude, and you're leaving behind a historical legacy."

Flux's fingers tightened slightly around the microphone. "My final question is..."

He stopped.

For the first time of all the interviews Flux has conducted—he hesitated. "Saparata Theria..."

The camera was still recording. The crowd was still watching. But neither of them cared anymore.

"What’s the most remarkable lesson you’ve learned throughout this journey?"

The old Saps would've blinked and simply answered immediately—something that people would’ve expected; to always push through despite the hardships, to always try, and try, and try—so on and so forth.

But this time, he didn't look at the camera, he looked at Flux. Like he was trying to memorize him, the way the arena lights reflected in his purple eyes, the slight crease between his brows when he was thinking, the way he still held himself like he was trying not to take up too much space.

The person who had left him, and taught him the greatest and most brutal lesson life could ever throw at him.

Saps smiled softly. "The most remarkable lesson that I’ve learned..." 

His voice was steady. "Is that if you think you’ve already reached the maximum capacity of growth, you’ll always be proven wrong."

A pause, everyone waited for him to continue the statement.

Saps scratched the nape of his neck lightly as his voice grew softer. "A lot of people expected a lot of things from me every time, and by some miraculous luck, I always achieved them.”

He continued, “and I guess somewhere along the way, I selfishly thought that I already perfected everything and had no more room for growth, but…”

”…that belief was destroyed this year—when I became captain, I wanted to carry everyone. I thought if I worked hard enough, I could make the game easier for my teammates, and make everyone proud in Westhelm University. But that's not how it works, since we’ve encountered quite a few losses during my time as captain."

“…Those losses taught me that you might believe you already have it all. But at some point, life will always be there to surprise you with more opportunities and possibilities, and nothing will ever go unchanged.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle as he said the next few words. "I think the last part is the greatest yet most brutal lesson I had to learn. When something you care about inevitably changes just like everything else does, the greatest thing you can do in return is ensure that you’ll grow alongside them either way, even if you have to go towards different paths.”

He paused to quickly catch his breath. "It's a difficult thing to understand, but as the saying goes…” Saps’ gaze never left Flux’s as he spoke. “…What’s meant for you will always find its way back to you.”

Flux went completely still.

The words weren't a confession. Not exactly.

Not something the audience would understand. But Flux did. Because he knew.

Saps had always spoken to him in small ways. In moments. In things everyone else missed.

Silence.

The camera remained on, the world kept watching, but for a moment, it felt like it was only them.

Then Saps finally looked toward the camera. “Thank you."

That was Flux’s cue that the interview has basically ended, so out of instinct, he finally says the final lines. 

“That wraps up our catch-up with Westhelm’s golden boy, Saparata Theria—this has been Infernus’ correspondent of the season, Fluixon Aculon.”

The interview ended. The light turned off.

Nobody noticed how long they stood there afterward, nor how neither of them moved. Nobody noticed that for the first time in years… Neither of them knew what to say.

Because Flux had given him exactly what he thought he needed, a future without him. 

Now, they were merely two people who had spent years loving each other, wopeople who had never stopped loving each other, and two people who had become everything they dreamed of becoming… At the cost of each other.

—

[  Present time - July 11th, 20XX ] 

Graduation day was supposed to be perfect.

And it was—at least, everyone else thought so. Saparata Theria stood beneath the university's grand hall lights wearing his light beige embroidered long sleeve paired with neat black slacks, he adorned the Westhelm’s graduation sash that was draped on one of his shoulders, and his name was printed proudly among the university's highest honors.

Summa Cum Laude. Valedictorian. The highest academic distinction in his entire engineering batch. The kind of achievement that people spent their entire lives chasing.

Everyone wanted pictures with him, everyone wanted a piece of the moment, because Saparata Theria had done it. 

Everything he had worked for. Everything he had sacrificed for. Everything Flux had told him to protect. He had protected it. He had become everything he was supposed to become.

So why… Why did it still feel incomplete?

Then, his phone buzzed and rang—his ringtone startlingly loud amidst the noises from the crowd, when he grabbed his phone from his pocket, his whole world came to a halt.

Fluixon Aculon was calling him.

His heart rate raised so high he could practically feel without even placing a hand on his chest, It’s been months since their last interaction, and it was during the championship interview, for Ish’s sake.

He wanted to ignore it, but he also wanted to answer just so he could yell at the love of his life for calling him during his graduation day—a day that was supposed to be happy. 

Yet something compelled him to answer instead.

“H-hello?” Saps greeted, his voice cracked so obviously he was almost embarrassed by it

It didn’t take long for a voice to reply, a female voice that definitely did not belong to Fluixon Aculon. “Is this Theria?”

Holy Ish, no one has ever called him by his surname before, and the way the voice said it so icily made him shiver.

Then, Saps finally processed it—this was not Flux, yet it was his number that was calling him.

Saps’ thoughts raised, did Flux’s phone get stolen—? No, Flux wasn’t stupid to have something valuable stolen from him—was it a scammer? someone using some hacking device to make it look like it was Flux calling—

“Earth to Theria?” The voice spoke again, albeit more irritated than before.

Saps forgot he was still in the call, “Who is this?” He immediately questioned, his tone was sharper than he expected. “You’re not Flux—Fluixon.”

A sigh crackled through the speaker. “No shit, genius.” she replied mockingly. “Isn’t this great? you sound so much more depressed than my brother is.”

Saps blinked in confusion, brother? 

“…Brother?” Saps asked, the question slipped way too quickly than he anticipated.

Saps could feel the obvious frown just from the tone of the lady, “Yes, my stupid brother, Fluixon Aculon—wait, did he really not even try to introduce his own sister to you?” 

Saps froze at that, Holy Parental of Ish. 

“Cynikka Aculon…?” Saps said in awe, on behalf of Flux’s defense, he always said that his relatives were too busy, and Saps never bothered to pester him about it since he figured out they weren’t some sort of tight-knit family anyway.

“Yes, the one and only.” Cynikka confirmed, although a bit exasperated. “It’s nice to finally meet the guy who ruined Fluixon’s life.” 

That surprised Saps, he was actually quite offended at that. “Huh!? I didn’t—“ he stopped himself before he could get all pissy, instead letting out a sigh. “…Why are you calling me? Or more importantly—why are you calling me through Flux’s number?” 

Cynikka let out another long sigh, “Obviously because I don’t know your number, you chud.” she replied, Saps’ eye twitched from how much he was getting insulted right now.

“I’m calling through Fluixon’s phone because he’s at the counter attending to our tickets, so I decided to use this opportunity to solve the problems my sweet brother has caused due to his stupidly avoidant personality.”

Saps blinked once. Then twice. His mind was way too fuzzy right now to comprehend anything. “…What?” was his intelligent reply. “Wait—tickets?” He added.

Cynikka opted to continue, “Mhm, I’m sure you’re unaware—since his conspiracy friends were just as clueless as you a week ago—so I’m gonna fill you in.”

Cynikka cleared her throat before she continued once more, “Long story short, Flux and I are leaving to go overseas.”

“What the—“ Saps couldn’t help but miserably fail to hide his utmost shock.

Cynikka interrupted him anyway, “—Because our parents offered him the head architect role after his graduation, we’re at the airport right now, and we’ll be leaving in a few hours.”

Cynikka let out a deep exhale as she said her final words. “Flux skipped his own graduation for this, by the way. And if you’re wondering why I’m telling you this, it’s because I’m positive your view on why Flux left you is entirely twisted.”

Saps gulped, she was eerily right. “He probably told you that he didn’t like you anymore, that he changed his mind, and that he wanted you to grow without him because he’s not good enough for you, and all he’ll do is weigh you down because you love him too much.”

There was a long pause after that, as if Cynikka was waiting for him to confirm that her assumption was right, but Saps was too speechless as he processed everything she just said.

Saps gulped, “…That’s right.” was his shaky reply. 

Cynikka sighed for what felt like the nth time by now, “On behalf of Flux, I’d like to ask you to forgive him, I’m sure you at least have a hunch—If what everyone says about your intelligence is real—and that you should know by now everything he said is a lie. He left because he can’t handle the reality wherein, if he told you the truth, he knew you would’ve come along with him in a heartbeat.”

There was a small pause. “…Even if you had to throw everything you’ve worked hard for away.”

Saps didn’t say anything, so Cynikka took it as cue to continue. “Theria, I’ll only say this once, so listen carefully—Although I understand Flux’s reasons on why he pushed you away, I also believe the way he did it was utterly stupid. Because he’s risking the special bond you two have over a decision that he didn’t even let you choose.”

Saps’ eyes widened at that last phrase,he didn’t even realize that back then, that he was so blindly in love with Flux, that he failed to think of the choices he had—to be as stubborn as Flux, and fight for their relationship. 

“With this, I’ll give you the choice. We’re currently at the State Airlines, and I know it’s not that far from Westhelm—so, if you truly love Fluixon so much to the point you willingly agreed to things you never wanted, then I’m sure you have enough love in you to also take the risk and run for your life to try and catch us here at the airport.”

As soon as Cynikka said that, a breeze suddenly passed through Saps, and then he smelled it—sunflowers, ones he knew were in Westhelm’s sunken garden, alongside the faint aroma of hyacinths accompanying it.

Saps suddenly remembered the faint memory of Fluixon’s house in their old town, and how Cynikka’s sunflowers were one of the reasons he ever met Flux in the first place.

And here they were, finally conversing with each other. Funnily enough, Cynikka will be the reason Saps and Flux’s relationship could be salvaged now. “…You’d let me do that?” Saps quietly asked.

Cynikka laughed, “I wouldn’t be calling you if I didn’t want you to.” she scoffed fondly, “I might’ve never met you personally, but from Flux’s stories alone—as well as his friends, like Thomas. I know you’re one of the only good things to have come in my brother’s life. And as his sister who always valued freedom of choice above anything else, I don’t want to see him to throw away the only choice he has never regretted over a decision that was never his in the first place.”

Saps could feel his eyes start to glisten, and he almost couldn’t believe it, because Saparata Theria rarely broke down, yet it seemed that every time he does, It was all due to one boy: Fluixon Aculon.

“So!” Cynikka spoke up again, although she sounded much more hurried now, “I have to go soon—because Flux just finished getting our tickets—but I hope that before I end this call, you’ve already made your choice, okay? 

“…Because if anybody had the power to turn Flux’s whole life around, It’d be you, because you’ve already done it years ago, and I’m sure you’ll do it again.”

Then the sound of a call that was ended beeped, as Saps numbly stared at his now black screen.

For a moment, the world went completely quiet. Saps stopped hearing the people around him. Stopped noticing the cameras. Stopped noticing the congratulatory voices. Stopped noticing anything.

One call happened, and suddenly every memory came crashing back.

Every time Flux looked away. Every time he went quiet. Every time he seemed like he was trying to memorize something. Every time Saps thought he was being abandoned...

…It was simply Flux’s idea of saving him, because he had convinced himself that they had both been hurting each other, not because they didn't love enough, but because they loved too much.

Saps looked down. Still wearing his graduation sash with his slightly crinkled suit from the way he desperately held it throughout the call. He was still wearing the medal he received when he walked on the stage—Still holding the proof of the future Flux wanted him to have. Yet suddenly, none of it mattered.

Because Saps now knew the real reason why Flux was leaving, and if he didn’t act fast enough, he’ll be leaving forever. 

Quickly, he checked the website of State Airlines. The departure time. The airport, and his heart stopped.

"Saps?"

Someone called his name. He didn't answer.

"Saparata?"

He was already running. Still in his graduation clothes. Still wearing his medals. Still carrying nothing except his phone.

People stared. Someone called after him. Someone asked if he was okay.

He didn't stop. Because for the first time in years—Saparata Theria had a problem he couldn't solve by thinking and by obliviously following every expectation handed to him.

So he ran.

—

The airport was crowded. Too crowded. People moving. People leaving. People arriving. Everyone had somewhere to go.

He found the departure screens, he saw the flight Cynikka mentioned, the gate, and then he ran again.

—

Flux was standing near the boarding area. A suitcase beside him. A passport in his hand. Already halfway gone.

Cynikka excused herself to Flux before he could question why the living Ish she had his phone on her hand, and went to rush towards the bathroom.

Fluixon was mindlessly scrolling through Ishtok, killing time before their flight arrived.

Not until heard the sound of rushed footsteps growing louder and coming nearer in his direction.

Flux looked above, and he couldn’t even hide his surprise and the way his eyes widened when he saw Saparata Theria standing in front of him.

The first thing he noticed was the graduation sash, then the medals, the honor cords, everything Saps had achieved.

"Saps." Flux’s voice broke immediately. "You shouldn't be here." He remained seated, yet his knuckles visibly whitened as he held the sleeves of his sweater a little too tight.

Saps laughed, not because it was funny, but because he was exhausted hearing that phrase over and over again. "You always say that."

Flux looked away. "I mean it."

"No." Saps walked closer, then he crouched down to meet Flux’s eye level. "You don't."

Flux went still.

"You mean you don't want me to be here."

Silence.

"But you never mean you don't want me."

Flux's jaw tightened. "Saps."

"Why didn't you tell me?" The question was quiet. Not angry. Somehow worse."Why didn't you trust me enough to let me choose?"

Flux looked down, a spiral of thoughts went through his head like quick flashes; How did Saps figure out he’s leaving, how did he even know that his flight was today?

Then it hit him, Cynikka Aculon. His infuriatingly cunning twin sister. 

He should’ve realized it earlier when Cynikka had to flee to go to the bathroom, and how she practically threw his phone at him from how rushed she was.

Flux couldn’t dwell on the simmering anger that started to arise just thinking about the betrayal his sister just did, because the consequence of the betrayal is standing in front of him right now.

“I was trying to protect you." Flux forced himself to speak as he looked away.

"I know." That surprised him. Saps smiled sadly. "I know."

A pause.

"And that's why I'm so angry."

Flux looked up.

"Because you loved me." Saps’ voice shook. "You loved me so much that you decided I wasn't allowed to love you back."

"Saps..."

"No, Please." Saps interrupted him.

That word. That familiar word. The one Flux had spent years trying not to hear. But this time, He didn’t even know what Saps was begging for—or maybe he did, but he didn’t know if he wanted to acknowledge it.

"Just this once."

Flux's eyes burned.

"Choose yourself." The words hit harder than anything else.

"What?" Flux startlingly replied, his eyes widened for just a fraction of a second.

"Choose yourself." Saps swallowed. "Not because your parents forced you to, or because you think it’s for the better for anyone—for me.”

His voice cracked. "Choose what you want."

Flux couldn't speak. Because that was the one thing he had never done.

Not really.

He had spent his entire life being what people needed. The perfect son. The successful student. The future Head architect. The person who sacrificed things like it was all he ever knew.

But what did he actually want?

The answer came immediately in his mind, and that terrified him.

"I can't." The words came out broken.

Saps froze.

Flux looked away. "I can't." Not because he didn't want to— he did—but because he wanted too much.

Flux wiped at his face—a movement so unfamiliar to Saps that he almost forgot to breathe.

Flux crying. Flux breaking. The person who always held everything together. "I don't know how to choose myself." The confession was barely audible. "I don't know who I am if I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do."

Saps resisted the urge to hold Flux, because even if he wanted to, he didn’t want to overwhelm Flux. "Then find out."

Flux looked at him. "What if finding out just makes it worse than it already is?"

Saps' heart hurt. "Then you’ll simply hit rock bottom.” He admitted, “But when you do, then you have no other path left but to simply go up, y’know?”

Flux felt a small, broken smile form when Saps said that, "That’s horrifying."

"I know."

"Just thinking about it already makes me nauseous."

"I know."

“…It wont’ be easy.” Flux acknowledged, even though it sent shivers in his spine just doing so.

A pause.

Then Saps smiled faintly. "You never were good at easy things."

For a moment—Just a moment—Flux looked like he wanted to laugh. Or cry. Or do both.

The boarding announcement echoed through the terminal. Final call. Passengers started moving, Flux looked toward the gate, then back at Saps.

He had two choices.

A life chosen for him. Or a life chosen by him.

Saps didn't reach for him. Didn't beg. Didn't ask him to stay. Not this time. He only stood there. Giving Flux the one thing he had never given himself.

A choice.

Flux picked up his suitcase. 

Saps' heart sank, at the corner of his eye, he could see the familiar silhouette of Cynikka, who seemed to already be at the entrance of the gate to their flight.

Saps officially thought that this was it. This was Fluixon’s choice.

And yet, for one impossible second… Fluixon stopped before he could reach the gate, then looked at him, neither of them moved—the airport continued around them—the world continued.

Flux stood between two futures: One where he left. One where he stayed. One where he spent the rest of his life wondering. One where he finally tried.

The announcement repeated one last time.

Fluixon Aculon made his choice that day, and only Saparata Theria knew which choice it was.

—

[ ????, July 11th, ???? ] 

Years later, people would ask Saparata Theria when he knew everything would be okay.

He never had an answer.

Because sometimes, love wasn't a perfect moment, it wasn't always a grand confession, nor was it a smooth-sailing process that could be solved in a split of a second—love was a complex solution that not even two geniuses could decipher in years. 

But at the end of the day Saparata Theria concluded that love could be something as simple as trusting that for the first time…

…The person you loved has finally made a choice for himself.