Chapter Text
Chloe had not been sleeping. Her eyes fluttered shut each night, only to burst open a few hours later alongside shaking hands and unsteady breathing. She couldn’t get it out of her mind: her darker side. It snared her every thought with doubt and left her questioning what kind of person she was. On the outside, she pretended everything was normal. On the inside, she was being eaten alive.
After waking from her usual reoccurring nightmare (her hate manifesting in a delight for pain), she sat up in her bed biting at her fingernails and nailbeds. It was a nasty habit, she knew that, but it was preferrable over waking Red, who was sleeping soundly in the bed next to hers. Red didn’t need the hassle of dealing with her issues; she already had enough going on, learning how to be an HK, understanding her new family dynamic, and learning to love (with someone who isn’t Chloe, not that Chloe minds). Chloe stared at her sleeping roommate, and as she watched the girl take in a breath, her heart began to ache.
How could she hurt her?
Her teeth bit down harder on the skin around her thumbnail; her mind hardly took notice. She could not believe how weak she was, easily falling for Max’s plan and allowing herself to be seduced by a darkness within herself she didn’t understand. She was a Charming, she should have been stronger. Even in the woes of betrayal that festered in the first place, she should have realised Red was struggling just as much as she was.
Chloe was not sure how long she spent just staring at Red’s sleeping form, but it was long enough that the sun had begun to push light under the cracks beneath the room’s curtains. She blinked rapidly, her eyes dry, and looked down at her hand. Her thumb was in tatters, a bloody mess that was starting to feel sore as she gained awareness of it.
She quickly made her way into the bathroom, grabbing the small first aid kit from under the sink, and wrapped the wounds. She cursed at herself for letting it get so bad. After placing the first aid kit back in its place, she splashed her face with water. The eye bags were bad today; Chloe groaned at the extra work she would need to put in for her makeup. She startled at a knock at the door.
“Hey Chlo, you okay in there?” Red’s voice was muffled.
“Oh, yeah. Just getting ready, be out in a sec!” She could hear the fake smile in her own voice.
“You sure? You don’t usually groan while washing your face.”
“Just slept bad is all!”
Chloe washed her face quickly and took a deep breath before stepping outside of the bathroom, hiding her hand behind her back.
“Wow, you weren’t kidding.” Red’s eyes were soft as they looked at her. “You look like you haven’t slept all night, did something happen?”
“No, nothing happened. Just couldn’t get to sleep properly.” Chloe could tell Red didn’t believe her, but she didn’t push.
The girls got ready on their different sides of the room, Chloe stole a few glances as Red faced away from her. Red’s undeniable beauty overwhelmed her on days like these, her inadequacy in light of Red’s brilliance left a pit in her stomach.
“I’m meeting up with Luis today after classes, we’re going to eat dinner together.” Red said as Chloe pointedly stared at the floor.
“That’s cool.”
Red frowned. “Don’t you want to join us?”
“What?”
“Well, I know we usually get dinner together and I don’t want you to be alone.”
Chloe frowned, “How do you know I would be alone?”
“Chlo, you spend the majority of your time with either me or Pink these days, and Pink’s gone home for a few days to see our mom.”
Chloe didn’t have a response. Red was right, Chloe hadn’t been hanging out with her old friends and had mostly stuck with the two Hearts princesses. Her social life had dwindled as she took to hiding away in her free time, mulling over her short comings. However, she didn’t want to hang out with Luis. He wasn’t a bad guy; she just couldn't stand the way he looked at Red and how she looked at him. Chloe wished Red would look at her that way.
Chloe fiddled with her bandaged thumb. “I’ll be fine. I’ll go find Hazel.”
Red looked at her with surprise, “Hazel?”
“Yeah. She’s nice.”
“Is she?”
“She is to me.”
“Oh-oh okay.” Red stuttered slightly before her eyes found Chloe’s ministrations on her thumb. “What happened to your thumb?”
Chloe blinked. “What?”
Red nodded to Chloe’s hand. “You bandaged it, when did you hurt it?”
Chloe swallowed dryly, “Oh, um, I just caught it on the edge of the desk. You know how sharp those corners are. I should have been paying more attention.”
“Lemme see,” Red raised her hand in invitation.
Chloe considered it for a moment, considered letting Red see, but the moment quickly passed and she took a step back.
“I-I should get going, I’m going to be late for class.” Chloe’s hand reached for the doorknob.
“Chloe, wait, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Nothing is wrong. Enjoy your date.”
With that, the doorknob turned and Chloe bolted. It was a cowardly move, and she knew she had hurt Red, but her mind reminded her that it wasn’t Red’s burden. Chloe could get Red to forgive her for running away, but she still needed to figure out how to forgive herself. Maybe seeing Hazel wasn’t the worst idea.